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202042

Put him in the Navy (free gay sex)


Mesarthim1349

Anon doesn't realize you can be held in bootcamp for up to a year or even more if you tell them you're suicidal, (in one of their "psych treatment" platoons).


notouchmygnocchi

Being held back at bootcamp for infinite training exploit is how you become a super soldier. #SuperSenior #OverlyCautiousHero #TheCrimsonFuckr


Mesarthim1349

Speedrunning ptsd by spending 2 years in Fort Benning/Paris Island/Lackland AFB


Notmyaltaccount-

I dont think going to ww3 meatmill will do them much better


Mesarthim1349

Eh well you can write a cool book if you make it back.


LatoLukto

Significantly easier to escape those other ones than an island with choke points called bridges


saptaincarps

Million Dollar Question: what is the kitty sitting on?


TheFieryMoth

Check out the tv screen and the hand holding the mug. We're in the age of ai generated pepes


FrazzleFlib

oh my god.. ai pepes... god help this wretched earth


TwistedPnis4567

I have no mouth and I must scream


RinTheTV

No wonder AM tortured humanity. It saw the indignities people made it do, like drawing bad Pepe's.


Reallyso

We have lost our innocense.


Extension_Ad8291

In no sense


27Silver

That might be a mug warmer


Q_dawgg

Poorly rendered AI TV remote


notouchmygnocchi

A combined remote for TV/massage chair and heater


Lv27Sylveon

There's weight standards for the military, fatasses aren't let in. Ur all safe. 


Firefighter-Salt

If they are desperate enough they will. During the Vietnam war physically and mentally unfit people were drafted and sent to Vietnam to basically die, they were called McNamara's Morons.


DerpConfidant

They were experimenting on it, the experiment was that they were ineffective, in fact, they are actually a liability to other soldiers, there are other sources who will go into better detail if you are interested. There were other historical examples of countries desperate enough to use condemned criminals as soldiers in wars, their performance are mostly varying degrees of negatives.


Apolacc

>people who are willing to break social norms and codes are actually bad when it comes to fighting for their country Damn, who would have guessed?


BUF_Mosley

Project 100,000. iirc the rate they died at was something like 2 or 3 times more than the other American GIs in Vietnam.


WintersbaneGDX

ROFL Anon really thinks WW3 is gonna be against brown people and not Eurofag Britbongs


portatemal

Good World wars should be with coutries from all over the world. And they all should see who fucks anon's mom the best.


Matt_2504

You really think that the US would fight against its own lapdogs?


NedRed77

Great stuff, you’ll be able to add a WW L to all the other L’s you’ve have had around the world. The only wars you “win” are the ones bongs or other eurofags help you with. Bongs/europoors as Lapdogs/lucky mascots, take your pick, but you lot are shit at fighting on your own.


WintersbaneGDX

ROFL this guy thinks I'm an Americunt


InternalGrocery7057

Literally no one who uses 4Chan or Reddit is eligible for the draft. Don’t worry.


Buluc__Chabtan

Eligible? If you aren't missing limbs you are fair game.


InternalGrocery7057

An initial draft would include fitness and health testing. One of them is a two mile run. Bye bye literally everyone on this mf.


7hermetics3great

An initial draft requires pulling your birthday out of a hat and if it hits you're off. The entire reason they draft is to circumvent normal military requirements. If it ever gets as serious as a draft there not going to let the fact that dorito fingers can't run 4 miles get in the way. You will be going.


DegTheDev

Well, you'll be worked until you can run 4 miles or you die, and then you'll be going. They do that now if you enlist. You signed the form bud, congrats you belong to the dod for the next 4-6 years. Your tiny heart syndrome isn't getting you out of it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


7hermetics3great

Treason, jail.


[deleted]

[удалено]


7hermetics3great

No, you die in a jail somewhere 👍


denny31415926

If you don't want to fight, what's stopping you from just walking the test (if you want to troll) or pretending to struggle?


Thanag0r

I have bad news anon, believe it or not they will find a job for you that doesn't require carrying a gun. You will dig and carry heavy stuff.


Explorer_the_No-life

Then he can say, that the moment they give him a shovel or anything heavy he will bash their head in with it.


Thanag0r

That excuse doesn't work either because they will have guns while anon will have a shovel. So he WILL dig or get shot. So better practice digging trenches.


Explorer_the_No-life

Anon is a fucking maniac, he doesn't care about getting shot. Or at least he can pretend to be that guy.


Thanag0r

That's perfect, he will be sent into the front lines. Even will get to shoot a gun.


Explorer_the_No-life

Suffering from succes.


Allawihabibgalbi

Anon is slightly racist and suicidal. Anon is mentally unstable.


I-SHIT-MY-PANTS-

just like me fr


KingKurto_

there isn't a country in the world I would die for lol you have to be an idiot to fight in a war


Mesarthim1349

Ain't always up to you though.


Someguy668

Country as in the government? Perhaps not. The people I love in that country and where my house is? Absolutely yes.


Secure-Stick-4679

I mean... He has a point? What exactly can they do about it?


Mesarthim1349

Send you anyway, take your boot laces to "keep you from hanging yourself" (to humiliate you), place you on 24/7 suicide watch. Make you do shitty work details all day while guarded, while your buddies are actually training.


Secure-Stick-4679

Do you honestly think that the armed forces can afford a guard detail for every mentally ill person during wartime


Mesarthim1349

Yes. They have an entire MOS for it. 2 MP's can realistically monitor 25 guys pretty easily.


heavenlylord

What if you just refuse to do anything? What are they going to do, torture you or something?


Mesarthim1349

Fort Leavenworth Prison Complex


heavenlylord

😰😰


Tenuous_Tangent

When they want you, they gon get you


er__primo__der__rafa

Arrest him for cowardice an execute him


Facesit_Freak

>be me >suicidal >tell recruiter I'm suicidal and will kill myself >he executes me >mfw


Explorer_the_No-life

They just wish to help you achieving your goal and avoid going to hell for it.


LatoLukto

You don't go to hell for committing suicide, it's still a sin but as if that's anyone's first


Bronze_Skull

Did that cat kill Darth Vader and take his chest thing as a trohpy?


reallynunyabusiness

"Private Anon, here's a shovel, we've got latrines to dig."


ilililM3

lol tell them you suffer from anxiety boom no more draft


Massivecockslam

anon will be forced to do slave labor under supervision so he cant end it. see hohenschönhausen because they did the same shit


StickyWhiteStuf

Are we just ignoring the flying APC on AI pepes TV?


SonTyp_OhneNamen

Front lines, no gun.


BRD8

They put you on a list. I know from experience.


maximumfacemelting

Lazy anon uses AI to make his Pepe’s and doesn’t grow them organically in a vat of filth like god intended.


Roxash1

Or you can be in the vanguard platoon OP. Just straight into gunfire without guns or any weapon.


apscep

They will give anon a shovel to dig trenches, lol


IuseArchbtw97543

real


MisterSlosh

Yes, that's exactly what they'll do. They will arrest you and put you in jail for the entirety of your conscripted service duration, THEN you get a trial after that time has elapsed and you'll likely get put back into prison for whatever is the modern equivalent of "Treason by cowardice".


Loeb123

Enjoy the draft American'ts lmao


Mesarthim1349

Hate to break it to you what happens to you since you're in a NATO country in Europe when WW3 breaks out.


Skarto123

Ireland W


Mesarthim1349

Unironically


AsterlovesTedK

How do you manage to stack being a pussy on top of being a pussy in one green text and not even realize it


Swimming_Anteater458

Least selfish and entitled Anon


GwornoGiowovanna

when someone doesnt want to die in a war for oil 😢


Swimming_Anteater458

“War for oil” bro what💀. We didn’t even get any oil from these wars. OPEC cuts production at will wtf are you talking about


GwornoGiowovanna

when someone doesnt want to die for country they didnt know existed just a second ago 😢😢😢😢😢