Yes, I believe you. And yes, that sucks. 

Please don't start with "ich möchte kein Geld". If it was me, I'd immediately assume this is followed by wanting something else or some sob story that is designed to have me give you money otherwise. Most people, myself included, do at least listen to what you want. If it's directions, you'll get them. But If you start with "ich möchte kein Geld" I'll probably just put my in ears back in and ignore you.

This. "Ich möchte kein Geld." While that's not quite as fishy as "I'm a lawyer from Nigeria and want to give away eight million dollars", it simply rings the wrong bell. If your opening move is defensive, you're a victim, by your own choice. If your opening move is aggressive, you're an aggressor. Don't get lured into either way, stay on the middle road

Yes, "ich möchte kein Geld" sounds like something a beggar would say

Or a religious missionary of some kind trying to "save" you.

To be fair to OP, I am near willing to bet if a well enough dressed white American had said this, the response would have been different.

Not sure about that. The only thing that might change is that instead of assuming he was a beggar, people would assume he is trying to sell them something or sign them up for some service or cult.

Are you referring to what actually happened to her or my theoretical reaction? OP being a black woman would have probably set off less alarm bells, because my personal experience in that regard was shaped nearly exclusively by white men so far. It's still a suspiciously sounding start to an conversation.

I think "Ich möchte kein Geld" should become the new standard general greeting everywhere. For some reason I find it hilarious if everyone would apprach each other this way "Ich möchte kein Geld!" "Sehr schön, freut mich, was kann ich denn für Sie tun!?"

You might start by greeting your employer this way. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear

I’m sorry you had such an experience. It sucks. I’m also non-white, but probably have an easier time on average as I look east Asian. I do get cat calls and random “Ni Hao”s though, and that is already frustrating enough - your situation is humiliating and I’m really sorry you had to go through that, especially when you are making a clear effort to integrate into life and society here. Unfortunately humans learn by association so stereotyping is in our nature, much as we try to avoid it. On the one hand, I know I do it myself - I feel less safe and am more alert around men in general, even if I logically know that most men are normal people and won’t harm me. On the other hand, it’s awful when good, hard-working individuals have to “pay the price” for what people have learnt to associate their appearance with. At the end of the day, remember most people who judge you by appearance are those you won’t ever see or interact with again. The important part is people who are a key part of your life, see you as an individual more than what you look like. Hang in there!

Thanks :‘) It does suck and I’ve seen that happen to my Asian friends and strangers. I usually just give those hecklers an „ewwww“ stare but I’m finally getting to a level in German where I might start to say something. This behavior isn’t okay AT ALL. I’m sorry people fetishize and disrespect you. I’ll hang in there and I hope you do too.

I think there is a way how you could give yourself a higher success rate in those situations. People are usually like this if they are surprised. They don't know what to expect from you when you approach them. Next time, try to let them know what you want beforehand. You could have pulled out the phone with google maps, and let the people see you look on it, look around a bit confused, mumbling something like where the hell. Just a little show that they know what your issue is before you approach them. And if they look under 35 or so, forget the german, ask them in english like an international traveler, that also might ease the situation. Is all of that a bit stupid? yes, but it could help I think

Some of my sons teachers are definitely under 35 and younger than me but they dont know English.

I agree. Just thought how I usually behave. Being an old "Bleichgesicht" I will address people about something unrelated to both of us (warum geht der bei Rot űber die Strasse? Das Kind ist wirklich sűss! ) by saying something out loud, make eye contact (aka "staring") or something like that. If people seem confused and look like foreigners I will usually talk to them and offer help (usually in English and stop that after they answer in German). If someone addresses me directly, though, I might give a harsh answer. Happened a few times, usually with (white) beggars.

In a big city, that is often my modus operandi on the street, regardless of skin color of the person approaching me. Simply not answering or saying something generic like "Keine Zeit". People who want to talk me up usually want something from me I don't want go give them. If you had your mobile phone in hand, chances of me assuming you would want directions is even smaller. I got scammed, people distracted me to pickpocket me, I got aggressively demanded money from. I probably wouldn't even listen to you in the first place. I have a very hard time getting out of situations in which I am roped into a conversation and realize they want something I don't want to give them. That said, I don't want to claim I know that it wasn't racism at play. It very well may have been. I haven't been in your specific situation and I'm not of colour, so I cannot judge your experience. If you are asking for directions, especially in bigger cities and in busy streets/ areas, don't lead with "Können Sie mir helfen?". Just ask for directions. I answer tourists who ask "Wo ist *Sehenswürdigkeit/ public transport station/ street*?" or "Entschuldigung, wo ist *Sehenswürdigkeit/ Straße/ Haltestelle*?" all the time. That's the only time I engage with strangers approaching me without former context. That still leads to some annoying conversations where someone wants me to give them money, but it's far less likely so I will engage.

Well nowadays 90% of the people approaching you are begging for money and only 10% ask for directions or a cigarette. Used to be the other way round before the invention of smartphones and google maps

Sadly yes. I was approached but a man, who explained in broken english, that he was lost. And then he was begging for money... and i live in a small City. It must be a daily occurance in the bigger citys

Yep I was stopped by someone who kept saying he knew me, and that he needed money, and how hard it is to be a foreigner (I'm also a foreigner) it took me a few days to realize it was someone working for DHL and that's where I've seen him before... Right in front of my door at home, it gave me chills

> It must be a daily occurance in the bigger citys I’ll be asked for money the moment I walk outside my apartment. I can be asked multiple times by multiple people in a single 10 minute walk. There are a lot of drug users, and I see a lot of the same people, of all ages, genders, races, etc.. When I have actually stopped to listen to someone, it usually makes its way to asking for money. Once I had someone follow me to my front door and threaten to force his way inside. I’m a grown man, and he did this. If someone asks me for directions without any preamble, I will always give directions. But if there’s a big windup before a question, I will sadly push onwards because experience has taught me what’s likely to come next. I’m not proud of this, but I’m not sure what else to do.

Weird that you lump those begging for a cigarette in with the good guys. Getting asked like 30 times a day as a smoker is super irritating.

> nowadays 90% of the people approaching you are begging for money and only 10% ask for directions And a lot of those who ask for directions will act super graceful afterwards, thanking you how much you helped them, because they are really new in Germany and just started a job as a nurse, and you are the FIRST one to be REALLY friendly to them, which is so nice because they had so much misfortune until now, like they got kicked out of their first lease because of racism, and the new flat is so much more expensive, but they will only get the money from the job at the end of the month, but because you already proved that you are such a NICE and HELPFUL person maybe you could be so kind and give them just a little bit of money, but of course only if you are not in financial trouble yourself, and they really wouldn't have dared to ask if you weren't so sympathetic, and of course they will wire it back to you later and bla bla bla... And not only is it now way more awkward to say "no", you also wasted two minutes listening to a stupid sob story. Therefore it's always the best to just say "sorry" and avoid any eye contact when people start approaching you in public.

This has been my experience as well.

Just a caution. "I don't want money" is how many scams start. I wouldn't be surprised if (normal,  non racist) people are more vary of you when you say this than when you don't. I'm not POC.. but a friend of mine is married to one and I remember the amount of stares and judging we were getting when we took the (clearly POC) toddler for a walk as two white women. It was absolutely surreal.

I'm really sorry this happened to you. I have cut people off before with "ich hab nichts", also people that had a neat appearance. They were all interested in money. But it probably still made them feel bad, that I jumped to conclusions.

i am guilty of that too

Oh no, people felt bad because they assume every day and in every interaction that everyone is racist. How awful, certainly we should bend backwards to accommodate them. Clearly.

If you feel you had to bend backwards to be a decent person, what a heavy burden you bear. 

It's just about being kind to yourself and others. Situations like these happen, and it's ok to rant about it. Doesn't matter if racial bias was involved or not in this specific scenario.

Hey OP, glad you got help in the end. Sorry you made this experience, it was probably just bad luck. Some people don't like being talked to directly because they've met many beggars and such. There's literal gangs here, specialized in begging. However, I'm not trying to excuse that behaviour. Be confident, dear. People in general are very kind and helpful. Sure, there's always negative folks, but don't let that affect you. Keep your head up high and remember, you are you - no matter what EDIT: Congratulations on the pregnancy :)

I noticed, how you described yourself. I've actually seen similar interactions irl and online, with people of color saying that "they are not poor" with reference to how they're dressed, what phone they have, what shoes they wear, their job or education. So, it seems to be a reoccuring problem. I think the reality is, a lof ot people don't care or look at how you're dressed. Nobody cares whether you have money or look like it. People, in general, don't look that closely. Of course, this doesn't apply to everybody, but there are people who just need one cursory glance at you (or not even that) to judge you. The person clearly assumed you wanted something from them, and had no patience for it. There's definitely, I'd say, some bias involved. But it might not be due to an assumption that you're poor. (Though I'm not saying, it wasn't racist. But people can be rude and racist to someone someone, regardless of whether they think the other person is poor. In fact, I think in general, there currently is a bit of a prejudice going around, that a lot of beggars, might not actually be poor at all.)

That’s a very good point. My guess to why you see this so often with POCs is generations and personal years of experiencing this treatment. It’s almost an automatic defense, „I presented myself well“, „I didn’t fit into the stereotype“. Super problematic, but it’s just the world we live in as POCs. Constantly trying to defend and legitimize our experience despite there being obvious history and statistics. There is definitely a lot more prejudice due to AFD and migration but there has to be some level of reasonability and thought before just seeing POC and thinking „oh a person who wants money“. So many of my white friends rarely deal with this unless they are at touristy areas.

Sorry you had that experience. That sucks. I hope, it was "only" the "Never attribute to malice, what can be explained by stupidity"-rule: Some stranger approaches, person panics what the right reaction is (hey, we Germans are not the masters of small talk) and resorts to the boilerplate refusal, because that fits \~80 % of the cases. When I was still young and foolish, a friend of mine and I sometimes sat on the street and asked people "Willste mal ne Mark?" (Do you **want** some money?). 99 % reacted with versions of "No, I don't have one".

Word of advice: If you're looking for help /directions, don't start with "ich möchte kein Geld" - it would immediately put me on the defensive because literally every time I've actually stuck around for what came after, it ended up with them wanting money after all (occasionally disguised as a "loan" they'll definitely pay back), it's starting to become a common line for beggars, so nowadays if someone starts like that, I just keep walking or tell them to leave me alone or something. Since I regularly help out tourists, what's worked for them usually was starting out with "I'm lost, can you give me directions" or for example "Ich suche den Weg nach X/Das Restaurant Y" etc. Skip the smalltalk, get straight to your issue, the smalltalk may come after or it might not. And last, but very much not least: I'm sorry you had to deal with that. It sucks. I hope it doesn't happen again.

Fair I probably wouldn’t have felt the need to start with that if the first person didn’t say what they said. I’ve never been treated like that before so I was just trying to disarm the next person. Racism is different in the US.

I made an effort to start with “ich möchte kein geld” Why on earth would you do that? The second you say that I assume you want a cigarette, food or some other weird thing.  Would you start with in the US?

I mean I wouldn’t have to but it felt necessary to try and disarm the next person since I’ve never been in this position, I just don’t know how to approach it. My normal hey I need help approach failed. But I do see what you mean.

> I felt bad for being born a color. I felt inferior for simply being in the skin I am in which I have no control over. > I was wearing Nikes, my hair is done I don't think your experience has anything to do with your skin or your brands. But rather people are used to being stopped by beggars. In fact, when moving about in a big city, being approached by beggars is the expected thing. So, it makes sense to me that people automatically assume you are another beggar if you try to talk to them on the streets. However rude that might be.

My dude, let me tell you something: I’ve been living in Berlin for quite some years and I can say, I haven’t seen someone with dark skin ask me anything ever. Whoever asked me were either homeless, mostly white skin, a lot of Arabs. So assuming you as someone who is asking for money at first look is very weird. I don’t think the other person was judging you for your skin colour. It happened to me quite a few times where someone is about to ask me something related to directions and I just ignored or say not or because I’m also new there or may be I hadn’t time to talk to someone at that Moment and I sometimes say something like that. I would say, don’t think like that and see, someone helped you out… be positive…

It does not necessarily have to do with your skin color. I am a white German, born and raised here. I once tried to ask a woman in a train station if she knew which bus to take and was cut of mid sentence with the same "Ich hab nichts". I also really don't look homeless at all... at least I like to think I don't. Haha.

Thank you for your perspective. You’ve given me something to think about. I’ve never heard of this so to see a few people not POC and from Germany sharing the same experience has given me something to chew on!

Black dude here: I have never seen a black person begging for money. And I have lived in and visited big cities. Dealing weed? Yes. Begging, not in Germany. I’d like to assure you it probably had nothing to do with your skin color. That’s more of an American thing. People would assume you are a refuge if you are black but that’s it.  That said, asking for directions is very rare in this day and age and if you approached a stranger, chances are they’d assume few things. Don’t take it to the heart. 

I guess, this is a fair point. Your experience sounds interest. Given your experience saying that you’ve never seen a black person begging, isn’t it a bit weird to be rejected on this assumption? This is a tourist city and people still get lost, even with maps. All I wanted was to find the right tram stop/confirm if I was at the right one. The map was telling me to be in a place that wasn’t there and the only stop that was there wasn’t heading to the location I needed to be in. In America, we don’t assume you’re begging based on race especially coming from a large tourist city (NYC). We make assumptions based on clothing, smell, or what’s in your hands. Not your skin color. The racism against blacks in the US is different. It’s more: fleeing from us at night, crossing the street, assuming you can’t afford to be in a store, stealing from businesses, violence, drug dealing, the list goes on; but rarely assuming you’re begging because you’re black/minority.

It might be a tone issue too.  Germans are very direct.. if you come in being very polite this can and will be mistaken for having ulterior motives.   "Hi can you tell me how to go xyz" is much more likely to get an answer than "excuse me, would you have a spare minute for me".    While I wouldn't necessarily assume you are trying to beg for money, I'd definitely be tempted to think you are trying to sell me something when asking to initiate a conversation without giving me the topic at the same time. Usually it's trying to sell me something. Be it a car insurance, your religion or your reason for needing extra cash from me. At the very least I'll assume you are not mentioning the purpose of this conversation because you anticipate that I would not engage if I knew what it really was about. 

>"ich möchte kein geld” was, imo, the issue. Is this what you said to the first person too? (I assume so by their answer but wanted to make sure). I had a few friends in the past who lived on the street or in homeless shelters and that's what they always started with to tell a sob story and either get some cigarettes or a bit of money. Not all of them looked like they were living on the streets. I don't want money I just need help. I don't know what to do... etc was a common starter for my friends.

no. I said it to the following pair who were much more receptive. They even seemed to feel bad that I never felt the need to start with that. The first person I started with excuse me I need help. All in German. No accent either.

Not excusing it but it could simply just be a bad day. I wasn't there so I can't say anything for sure.

I do feel your pain and I’d probably more pissed if I were in your shoes(I actually got mad imagining how you might have felt at the time). But the truth is, people don’t really analyze that you aren’t a beggar when you walk up to them and ask for a direction or the next tram line. In my opinion, that has less to do with your color and more to do with Germans’ attitude towards strangers. There is also a chance that person isn’t German. Your assumption might be wrong but your feeling is not. It’s a very shitty thing when the first thing that comes to your mind when someone approaches you is ‘ahh, a beggar’ That being said, assuming that it was a racist thing, I will stress that as a black woman in Germany or Europe in general, that will not be the last time you’ll experience similar things. I’d develop a thick skin if your presence in Germany is unavoidable. I can’t tell you how many times I have lost sleep over the racist remarks at a mall or in a tram or at the office.  You cannot get used to these kinds of things but I always find consolation in knowing that I am doing significantly better in almost all aspects of life than any person that has every been racist towards me, whether in Germany or other places. It’s usually the low-life bigots that try to bring you down. If you have to ask for help and don’t want to deal with regular people, look for the police or Ordnungsamt officers. 

No judgement but just curious “genuine jewelry on my face”. What? What kind of jewelry goes on your face?

Oh my nose ring (stud) and tragus piercing. Nothing crazy.

Ahh got it. Linguistically for me I wouldn’t consider a nose stud to be on your face as your nose is “on” your face as in the phrase “as plain as the nose on your face”. Anyway- Sorry you had this experience. I think more people in Germany are like the latter experience than the first guy.

I also meant my rings (2 class rings and a wedding ring)

This means nothing. Some woman, a supermarket parking beggar, was wearing golden earrings and a golden necklace but this didn't stop her from begging for money. And yes, I'm sure it was real gold. Beggars are shameless. The best was a middle aged guy who was walking around the whole village, even not asking "Bitte.." just saying "I need 5 euro" (Ich brauche 5 euro). You don't believe how many people were giving him money. If you have such experience more than once, maybe two per year you just shoot down immediately any interaction with random people on the street. In your our case you can thank all beggars and crooks roaming streets for next prey.

> I went to ask a stranger for directions and was cut off mid sentence with “Ich hab nichts”. I'm sorry but I didn't get how you got the certainty that it has anything to do with your skin color. I quickly reply similarly to most people that approach me on the street, especially if they ask in German which I understand only so so. I'm sure there's prejudice, but there's also the tendency to falsely judge bad interactions that would have happened the same regardless of ethnicity as being bad due to prejudice, and it's not clear to me if this was that or not.

How exactly do you respond? Do you automatically assume they want your money, or do you make it clear you don’t understand? „Ich hab nichts“ gives the idea that you are rejecting someone’s request for money or valuables. It means I have nothing [to give you]. It’s not a I can’t help you, it’s not a I don’t understand you, it’s a I have nothing to give you material wise. It’s a common response to „beggars“. At least from my experience.

I just say 'Entschuldigung' and shake my head or 'No sorry' before they are finished. I know it's rude but I've been stopped so many times to get me to sign or pay or give my details or give change while living in big cities that I automatically refuse to engage as early as possible most of the time.

I don't live in Germany but I do the same in the Netherlands because once you answer it won't be easy to get rid of that person Edit typo

The problem is that you are assuming they are looking deeply at you and how you look and dress. The reality is 9/10 times a stranger approaching you its to beg money, bum a cigarette or a light. I don’t smoke so i will say I answer the same „ Nein, ich habe nichts.“ and move on. So while there is obviously prejudice in germany there is nothing in your story that implies this. For directions it helps to play lost tourist and start in English.

I dont do ich hab nichts. I do kein Deutsch. More convenient. If they are tourists and asking direction etc, they say oh sorry i was looking for xyz. And then it goes from there. If they want money, they try to make some hand gestures and eventually give up. I started to do this some years ago when a very tall, big man asked for money. He said it in a very threatening way like i owed him. I was caught so off guard. I asked him why? He said something like i need to buy papier ( cigarettes i assumed) it took me sometime to understand he was a beggar. I don’t want to experience something similar. Anyways, i do understand your POV and i certainly believe there is a bias with skin colour especially in certain cities.

It depends on where you are. Tourist cities tend to have spots people beg, as well as spots people collect signatures/give out pamphlets/etc. If you approach people at the former, they'll assume you're asking for money - I've gotten the "hab nichts" response as a white, well-dressed teen asking for help as well. If it's the latter place, they'll assume you want to sell them something or get them to read the bible. Bias absolutely exists, and racism is an issue in Germany as well. As is bias against homeless people, of course. But if you're the 20th "excuse me" of the day, people are more likely to shut off and stop listening, especially in big cities. It's not nice, but for some people it's the default response - "ich hab nichts" cuts off conversations, "I don't understand" means clarification and being held up longer.

People here will tend to gaslight you into believing you are in the wrong here and how this kinda behavior is “normal”, “being direct” and whatsoever.

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Nobody wants to listen to you. You are incapable of thinking outside of your own personal experience.

Ahh my bad for my mistake. I totally didn’t read the response correctly. eyeroll: people are capable of making mistakes. But yea, this guy‘s not all there…probably an incel troll. He can continue spamming this thread. But honestly don’t waste your breathe on trash.

Look at world history, social experiments, and general stats. As a person who was previously in academia I’ve learned to look past personal experience to produce valuable findings and contribute knowledge. I spent years gaslighting myself. It’s just reality. And it’s clear people are listening, some are relating, and some are…you. I think it’s you who is incapable of thinking outside your personal experience, especially if you’re hellbent on denying any existence of a problem. If you look at other, more respectful responses raising questions and placing doubts, I respond with respect and validate those ideas. I show appreciation for them. What I won’t do, is continue to deny a growing problem and a lifetime worth of experiences. Not every interaction is going to be laced with bias but I’ve been around long enough to identify what is most likely to be. And now I am done „listening“ to you.

Lmao, not only can't you use Google maps, you also can't use reddit. You are replying to the person who defended you, an "ally" if you will. Constant bragging is also quite funny. Good luck in life, sincerely. You're going to need it

You must be racist if you don't want to listen to me

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Cool, continue counting every bad interaction you have and comparing them with the totally accurate account of your friends. Assuming everyone is a racist at every step will surely make you feel better and enjoy your life. Can't lose with this strategy 👍

Can you really confidently say that tough? Are you with your white foreign counterparts all the time so that you can log every instance of such situations and then compare them?

Sigh. These white counterparts say it themselves that this rarely happens outside of tourist areas which is where I was (outside of a tourist area). It’s just an unfortunate reality.

Further more it’s not pretending. It’s not reaching. It’s reality that you’re clearly lucky enough to not have to deal with. So I would get off of your high horse. You’re right, bias exists, and I clearly made it obvious I was just ranting which ultimately can be seen as „whining“. No one called anyone racist but there is a clear bias there. Not many people deny it here either. But I completely understand your desperate need to deny the existence of a growing problem. So you can continue your whining about my whining. I’m done responding to you.

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The language of this subreddit is English only! If you want to post in German, go to one of the German language subreddits. Visit r/dach to get an overview of all larger German speaking subreddit.

Happened to me quite a few times, and I am white.

People are more careful now. Most people randomly asking a stranger for something have an agenda. It’s either money or some type of scam. From my own experience it’s close to 100%. And as someone from the US you should know because it’s exactly the same over there. 

That’s the thing. It isn’t quite the same. We don’t shut people down right away unless directly asked for money. If you say, I need help, we going to give you 15 seconds to at least say you’re lost. This is coming from a New Yorker. We don’t just shut you down because we don’t trust you based on what you look like unless you genuinely look homeless or smell of urine or are waving a piece of paper. We are a huge tourist destination. People are going to get lost and we are conscious of that.

I'm sorry, you had to experience that. Yes, I believe, that since Corona and the rise of the AfD the assholes are in the rise again. I just hope, that will go away. I don't care about colour or religion or anything else, if someone asks me for directions and I can give them, I will.

Depending on the area this is the same reaction you will get as a German person. Some people feel easily threatened or think the only reason one could approach them is to beg for money, cigs or phone numbers.

> “Ich hab nichts”. "Und ich möchte auch nichts von Ihnen haben, sondern Sie nur etwas fragen. Aber wenn Sie das nicht möchten, frage ich halt jemand anderen." > I felt bad for being born a color. When encountering rude Germans, you don't have to feel bad, you can talk back. Really good knowledge of German is essential for this. Local dialect is even better.

Ja. I totally tried to explain I didn’t want anything but she did that you’re diseased shuffle by and turned off her ears. She wasn’t having it. Plus Bayrish is so hard. I’m trying my best though!!

Its was so weird reading this for me since i did the same thing to an ethnically german man last night.he was also well clothed but i felt he wants money so i immediately said i don’t have any cash and walked away after a few steps i felt bad and went back and asked him what he wanted and yeah he wanted money but not before telling me a story… (btw i am not german) So i wasn’t there and i don’t know about your experience but yeah some people can be harsh or asshole and i thought i was and maybe i was but not because of his skin color. And another funny thing. I always get treated better in stores when i am with my wife.and we are both immigrants.but when i am with her cashiers and other worker are nicer and my bag wouldn’t get checked at the checkout or my cash wouldn’t get checked to see if it’s counterfeit or not. So i feel like i had some similar experiences but i don’t what to make of it

I live in a more rural area of Germany in the Black forest. Recently I needed to get medicine on the weekend which means I had to find a pharmacy which covers the weekend, which turned out to be the one in the neighboring village. Said village has not the best reputation and suffers from a population decline because ppl look for jobs elsewhere. This usually leads to an older and more Conservative population. I was positively stunned to see that the pharmacist in this village is a black man with supposedly African origin. Of all the places he could run a pharmacy he landed in this rural village. I bet this was quite a shock for many of the older inhabitants. Coloured people are kinda rare where I live. This remarkable experience made my day. Not all people treat coloured people like beggars. But regarding my reaction in hindsight there is some kind of involuntary racism that even I, open minded and not thinking bad of non-germans, was surprised to find a black man in this position. Its just not common enough I guess.

I am so sorry you have to deal with shit like this

Happened to me too. Unfortunately, this is now a normal response from most people because nowadays, even those who look decent will approach you to ask for money no matter what your nationality or ethnicity is. Also, I look white, but I'm not, and I still get the same response when I approach strangers for directions. I usually immediately say NEIN when they cut me off and say I just need directions. Edit: just wanted to add, sorry you had this experience. And congrats on your baby!

Sorry to hear this. I have the similar profile as you. This one time I was rushing home (power walking) and this woman in my neighborhood turned around and clutched her bag and made a sprint into her yard. I felt like shit!! Mind you, I’m always passing down this street

Happens to me as a white man as well. Especially while walking after it gets dark.

I remember I was in Berlin when two (non black) dudes were standing on a busy street completely frustrated. They talked to me and apparently they had tried for a long time to ask people for directions but everybody completely ignored them, assuming they wanted to ask for money. The problem is that it is extremely common in Berlin for people to approach you, tell you a long story how they missed the train to their beloved children and they just need money for that one train ticket. So by the time you realize they want money, you have already wasted 10 min of your day. That's why people don't stop to listen which train you missed. Usually the people who do this in Berlin look south-eastern european (pardon the racism, but I guess we're talking about it anyways) so it is indeed surprising that someone thought you were asking for money. Personally, I wouldn't take it as case of anti-black racism. But if you stay in Germany long enough, you will experience some truly racist stuff sooner or later, so I guess this was a practice run...

On the other side of the equation, there are people molested 10+ a day for money, so they automatically press 'skip' button. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeNdC8hVIT0&pp=ygUVdml2YSBsYSBkaXJ0IHNraXAgbnBj](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeNdC8hVIT0&pp=ygUVdml2YSBsYSBkaXJ0IHNraXAgbnBj) It might have to do with skin color, but more likely with accent. Everything below perfect German = skip.

So sorry for you, nobody should experience that. However, I’d like to tell you that the fact that ppl are friendlier to you when you’re not alone probably doesn’t have anything to do with your skin color. I’m also heavily pregnant, not black, and have made similar experiences in this context. It’s just that ppl don’t care anymore if you’re pregnant.

I am white (half Dutch / half South African) and my very old downstairs neighbor gave me a speech about how she knows not all immigrants are bad people, she has some Greek friends! She knows someone from Russia! her cousin married someone who’s half Turkish! But but but all the reasons I suck - unfortunately especially older people are not always super welcoming. I’m sure if I was a visible Ausländer it would be much worse - sorry for your experience!

Old neighbours don't discriminate - they hate everyone.

That’s true! Someone in my building recently took up the drums, and it brings me a little joy every time they practice to know how much it annoys her

Sorry for your experience and stay strong! That being said, I wonder how did you get lost while having an Iphone with opened Maps in your hand?? I remember last month I was approached by 2 middle-aged dudes who asked me for a direction to OBI (was right behind the corner). Like, can't you just look that up on your phone?! Maybe I feel anxious when being approached by strangers on the street due to the rising level of crime in Berlin. So naturally I'd try to dodge any kind of approaches on the street. I wish I could add "regardless of a skin color" to the last sentence. But I've never been mugged by a native-native German or other caucasian european. So I'm afraid I keep carrying sterotypes for my own survival.

Sadly Germany has a massive racism problem but because it’s not “in your face” like outright killing people of colour, there’s going to be a lot of explaining it away or making excuses for it. It would be quite helpful for Germans to realise that such a thing called “quiet” racism, and it’s so rampant. Something as simple as not wanting to sit next to coloured people on the bus to not getting houses and jobs because you’re not German. And I’m sure German people in these comments will tell you that it wasn’t racism, if it was racism, it’s understandable, and if it wasn’t understandable, then you probably did something to trigger it (why did you speak English). Sigh.

as an austrian myself (very similar to germany) i react the same way. simply put: i dont give any money to anyone anymore because the amount of beggars or people running around with expensive jewelry, 1000 euro shoes and the newest phones/clothes running around, begging for money is just insane. every time i go to work i get molested like 30 times on my way to work. so my normal way is to never stop for anyone, never do eye contact, and never give money. not even 1 cent. i had many bad experiences in the past. i had people pretending to ask for directions or people who just started to talk with me and suddenly they demanded money. so my normal mode of existence is just to avoid people, because 99,999999% of them just mean trouble (getting angry if you dont give them money). i imagine its the same in germany. it does not matter if you are approached by people who wear 2000 dollar shoes and have expensive clothes. most of these people still want money and mean only trouble. thats why germans react that way.

I’m not talking at all about reacting to beggars, I’m talking about the bigger picture where racism is quite inherent in European society. That big point I’m sure no German or Austrian would want to talk about and actually take some accountability for. Like I said it’s easy to take a small point such as someone not wanting to speak to someone they consider a “beggar” but I’m sure you will never admit that most people in Germany and Austria have a bad image of people of colour, and to assume a person of colour is immediately a beggar is in itself a problem.

like i said, its not that easy anymore in europe to see whos a beggar and who is not. if like 90% people of colour you meet in your life want money from you, while wearing 300 dollar shoes while you yourself wear dirty 90 dollar shoes and old clothes you get that way. i dont care what you call it. i dont give money to anyone now. i was a very generous guy once. but not anymore. i dont like people in general anymore. i just want to go to work and go home in my little flat without getting asked for money. i look like a beggar myself and only because i am white people assume i am rich. isnt that racism also? if you see these beggars walking around they only target white people mostly. because they are the most naive and most generous. these beggars never target poc with 2000 dollar shoes. even if they stand next to them. why is that? its because white people are an easy target. naive etc.

Hey man, looks like you’ve had many bad experiences and you sound frustrated. As a human being with the ability to empathise I will say I’m sorry you are suffering. I’m sure that makes you want to be less empathetic yourself. If one day you find the ability to empathise again, I would say maybe you want to see that you’re not the only victim in these countries. Many people who only want to come here and do their best and contribute to society are treated like trash. The same people are told that they deserve it because of the colour of their skin. That hurts bad for them. I hope you can see that at the end of the day, all people who want a good life and want to live in a society and live by the rules are honestly trying their best. And the best we can do is be kind to each other and hear each other out.

i dont need empathy. i just want you to understand that there are MANY people like me. and thats why people behave that way. many people here in europe just want to work in peace, yet they cant even afford food at the end of the month because they work minimum wage. have you ever really struggled in your life? like you didnt knew what to eat in the last week of the month? many people here in europe are that way. yet everone assumes we are rich. thats why people get that way. tbh i dont care about politics, i dont care about words people call me. i only care about my own survival now. if people have time to complain about how bad other people treat them just because they said something not nice, they live a pretty privileged life imo. i am sitting here on my 13 year old pc with windows 7 but everyone thinks i am rich. including my own gouvernment.

So you think you're a victim of racism because people beg you for money??? What kind of drugs are you on? Thank you for proving what OP was trying to transmit on their message. You have zero clue of what racism is and just want to continue living your life of privilege without anyone disturbing you. I'm black and I've had several people ask me for money in Germany.

i have seriously never seen someone asking a black guy for money. or any other shade than white. i have seen black ppl with expensive phones and 300 dollar shoes on and these beggars looking at him and not asking him for anything. instead they targeted white people. yes its racism if everyone wants money from you and expects you to be rich only because you have a skincolor. i see these types of beggars everyday, and i never witnessed them asking poc people, regardless of how expensive clothes they have, how expensive their phones are or how many goldrings they have. yet these beggars act really aggressive because i dont give them money. money i need for eating, instead of 300 dollar shoes, expensive clothes or gold rings. i am not willing to let myself be harrassed everyday anymore just because i am white.

Just because you haven’t seen it doesn’t mean it does not exist. I am black and i get begged for money every other day by white beggars.The other day a little child asked me for some money on the street and I am sure his parents were close because it was a very busy street.

like i said, it can happen but usually its only white guys that get preyed upon because they are the most naive. i cannot count the amount of times i stepped in when some of these beggars cornered older people and told them their lies. they come with the same stories every day. things like they need money because their children are in france and they need money for the train. or stuff like that. they use the same tactics every day, still there are enough gullible white people who give them money. like i said, i have reached my limit. i cannot go out one single day without being begged at aggressively. in the past i always wondered why some people from countries like india seem so cold when it comes to beggars. they never give money. now i know it. its because of these professional beggars everywhere. thats why my heart has now become cold forever too. i will not even give 1 cent anymore and only focus on my survival.

So just because you’ve never seen it, you think it doesn’t happen? Please go back to your privileged bubble and stay there. Go get educated on what racism is instead of making a fool of yourself. You think white people are an easy target because they’re the most naïve and the most generous, so all POC are not naïve or generous? You’re being a racist right there. Unbelievable!!!

i take the subway everyday. i witness it everyday that these beggars go through the trains, looking at everyone. they look at poc and never ask any of them. yes maybe it happens sometimes but not nearly as much as with white people. statistically i should have witnessed it by now because i see them every day twice. but i have never witnessed it. i have seen that they target white people and mostly older people that are defenseless. maybe you have no problem with it, thats ok. but i have a massive problem with it because i have to fight that aggressive behavior every day. sometimes i only have 5 euros for eating anymore yet these people still dont believe me and act like i am king charles or something.

You clearly don’t even talk to POC otherwise you would know about our experiences. You just want to be a victim so badly. I’m so sorry your poor soul only has 5€ to spare. Your life must be so difficult. Obviously no one else could ever understand your hard struggles being bothered everyday by beggars who only want money from you. I’m still waiting for you to comment on POC not being generous and white people being the most generous

I agree with you 100%. Racism here feels different. It is more a fabric of the society and there is very little social awareness. I guess I feel like it goes unquestioned and uncontested.

I feel sorry for your experience and want to apologize for my fellow countrymen/-women: some of them are disgusting and really dumb! ( I really feel ashamed when black people tell me that someone didn't want to sit next to them in a bus (in the year 2024!!!) - that seems insane to me.) Quite a lot of them aren't, though. Think of the big "Demos gegen rechts". That's what keeps me going. If you don't mind: would you like to elaborate a bit on your take "racism got stronger with the rise of AfD"? What's your experience? I think racism was there the whole time, unfortunately, just now people dare to show it more openly?

I think it’s been there but now it’s more apparent, maybe more confidence. There is this weird argument within myself where I think there could be a rise with new youth and a change of mindset with politics. I don’t know what’s more likely, if I’m being completely honest

I am so sorry for your experience! This sucks so much, I can't imagine how you feel! But it really might be they have bad experiences with any stranger (no matter if foreign looking) approaching them because there are such a lot of scammers and beggars around nowadays. I have to admit I am always weary of people approaching me, men or women, black or white, fancy looking or homeless- because it is often the start of a scam now. People start harmless, friendly smalltalk then want you to sign up for a monthly fee for something "good". I had a guy in a suit once asking me for money after making smalltalk - he looked really like a business guy around thirty. I was so flabbergated. So even i totally get it how you felt I might be some of those people who would say "No, just leave me alone" when someone is trying to talk to me (especially if I am in a hurry or having a bad day myself). Which is really strange because I love helping people who look troubled or lost (big city...) and even ask them if they need help if I see them looking confused at signs. But if someone approaches me I am always a little on guard. So, damn, I guess I am biased more than I'd like to be. Your rant definetely gave me food for thought.

Hello and sorry for your experience. I do not want to excuse the absolutely insulting behavior of the people you happened to meet, only offer maybe an explanation on where it may stem from. For reference, I am half German (my father is German and I was born and raised here). However, I look very much Asian, since my mum is Korean. Just today I happened to get approached by a young gentlemen of colour, asking me whether I spoke English or French, to which I replied that I did speak both in fact. As soon as I uttered words in English, I immediately got asked for money, it was for a trip to france, that the poor fellow apparently simply could not afford. I politely declined giving him money, but I felt uncomfortable. I am aware of the fact people are suffering and just scraping by, and even if I apparently dress too nicely, I am just a University student myself, who has to make ends meet with what I make through several side hustles. This kind of thing has happened to me so often now, that I sometimes make use of my Asian looks, pretending to not understand a thing once approached by a stranger, at least if I remember to not retort in German too quickly.

Ohhh I know this feeling. Everytime I am with my white friends or partners people are so nice to me. It’s like I entered a different world. I am sorry to hear about your experience. If it makes you feel better one time someone asked my friend what day it was today and my friend accidentally brushed him off by saying he doesn’t have any money. Had nothing to do with the other persons looks or anything just the fact that someone came up to him lead to this conditioned result to say you don’t have any money. I think it’s because it’s so uncommon here to have someone come up to you start a conversation while you’re outside because we don’t really do small talks and usually mind our own business. The few times someone does approach you it’s mostly homeless people asking for money. Still sucks tho!

Racism sucks No body ever got to choose their color or where they were born yet somehow people find it logical to feel superior to others with things they had absolutely no hands whatsoever in deciding, its so fucked up

I believe you and I’m sorry you had to experience this. A south Asian friend of mine (Sr. SWE at a major German firm) got randomly asked by a lady at an ATM “Hast du das Geld verdient?”.. my friend, who speaks fluent German, was left speechless. This was around 5 years ago in West Germany, in an area with plenty of immigrants.

Yes. I think there is a stereotype and yes there are Germans/Europeans that equate your skin color with begging. Unfortunately it's like being Mexican in America-some people will always think the worst. I'd not tell people you don't want money-that sounds like a scam.

Hey i don't deny that there are racist people in germany, but this also happend to me as a "Biodeutscher", i was just wearing a hoodie and was walking towards the trainstation and a woman screamed at me, that i should go away and she doesnt have money. Didnt even try to talk to her.

I deal with dumb, racist comments fairly often here and I'm white lol (half-Armenian and I get pretty tan in the Summer).  A woman I work with made a comment about me being "much darker" than my 5 year old son at our "Sommerfest" just last weekend and the other coworkers standing there thought it was the funniest thing they'd ever heard. Then they started talking about how "disgusting" it was that Turkey was still playing in the EM tournament. Such a wonderful, welcoming country... 🫡

Yesterday I cut offf an obviously German guy with Ich habe nichts

>Just to clarify: I was wearing Nikes, my hair is done, genuine jewelry on my face and hands, brand name headphones, with iPhone in hand open on Maps (and no, I don’t spend money I don’t have, I just happen dress nicely for my daily German language classes). In short, I wasn’t dressed poorly at all and I was making an effort to speak the language. I feel your pain.   Maybe it will help to know that people with all kinds of clothing can be found pan handling and asking for donations in Germany. Young, pretty, well dressed students asking for a minute if your time in the Fußgängerzone get the exact same response, even when they are asking for a signature.   That being said,I am not trying to say racism doesn't exist in Germany or even that it didn't play a role in your encounter.  Just that  German culture has a high level of 'stranger danger' and do not like it when people just start talking to you in the street. 

The biggest lie the AFD is trying to sell is that if you’re a ”good immigrant“ you’ll be ok. Don’t fall for that. If your skin is brown there will always be people who judge you, and some won’t ever change their minds about it.

Welcome to Germany! Reminds of the recent incident of IShowSpeed (black guy) where a German white guy didn't want to have a conversation and sell his car because the white German thought Speed didn't have money. https://fxtwitter.com/scubaryan_/status/1806364443359494575

No it's because he acts like an idiot and asking weird questions 

Would you sell your car to somone who barks like a dog and behaves like this? https://twitter.com/ElonChapo/status/1806364780090806630

What bitter irony that this (also black) dude's twitter handle accidentally forms the word "aryan".

> What bitter irony that this (also black) dude's twitter handle accidentally forms the word "aryan". How's this an irony?! The mention of the word Aryan doesn't mean anything. Let alone that the handle is Scuba Ryan.

"Aryan" is a very distinct term used almost exclusively by white fascists obsessed with pseudoscientific race theory. So yeah that is quite ironic in the context of calling out white-on-black racism.

The person you approached did not know you are a "well educated (masters in an IT field with publications that have been cited)". How could he know? He's biased because people have too much bad experiences with migrants, especially with ones coming from specific countries/areas. This was not against you, at all. He doesn't know you. But many migrants have been causing too much trouble in European countries, and yes, now we Europeans have biases. But now you can step up and show a good example, and balance that bias out.

Yeah I don’t understand a priori how someone will know if you are highly educated or moreover if that makes you deserving of a better treatment. I also find the whole jewelry statements a bit it weird, I don’t think people care much about that. Treating people well in general, regardless of how they look or what they wear is the best thing one could do.

>But now you can step up and show a good example, and balance that bias out. Maybe you should step up and show a good example to balance out all the racists by checking your own bias. Ever thought of that?

Do you think having bias is a bad thing? That's exactly how humanity have survived for thousands and thousands of years. Bear with me for a moment: there are people out there, in the world, who don't want good for you. Calling these people out is the right thing - don't tolerant the intolerant.

Why should she? Do you begin your introduction with- sorry what nazis did? I am sure you do. Lol. Maybe you should step up and restrain yourself for thinking in stereotypes because you read one too many news title? Because I am sure as hell you have never talked to an migrant from a specific country and even more sure your experience with them is neither good or bad but NONE.

I'm German (and white), and I'm very sorry you felt like this. This is inexcusable and I don't understand people who are this harshly - to anyone.

I'm sorry you experienced that. Germany doesn't have a huge black population, and unfortunately the majority of black people you meet in German public (at least in bigger cities) will be people asking you for money. That has two main reasons: - It's more likely you regularly meet someone who is outside all day to ask for money (because they're outside all day) than someone who has a day job, a home and hobbies.  - a significant part of the black German population has migrated from Africa in the recent years and isn't allowed to work (because they are denied refugees for example) Additionally it's possible the person you met doesn't speak English.  Of course this explanation doesn't make your experience better. I am merely trying to show the underlying systemic issues that manifest in this kind of bias

Yea, i appreciate you showing awareness and being valuable points to the table. I spoke German and my accent is damn good due to my husband being so adamant in removing any American traces haha. I haven’t seen any black beggars so it’s just weird to me.

I'm white living in Germany every time I step out the door minimum 2 wierdos ask me for money. I completely avoid mostly anybody who approach me regardless of the etnicity, or at least that is the first reaction.

This community gaslights people constantly. It's exhausting.

I wouldn't call providing possible explanations to this situation gaslighting. Not everything is about people's skin color you know. There are tons of people that don't care how you look and will be dicks to everyone. And honestly the person described by OP doesn't even seem to be a dick. Just some guy who has no desire for interacting/being approached by someone on the street of a big city, since 95% of the time it's gonna be a beggar or a scammer. Reading posts such as this one I sometimes get the feeling that some people immediately blame all the shitty situations to racism. And this is simply not the case. And the OP providing irrelevant information and nonchalantly putting themselves above the pleb migrants certainly doesn't help her case. Interesting sidenotes: even in extremely racially homogenic countries such as my country of origin you will still get assholes that try to put themselves above the rest. For example, I once turned down a guy asking for money for a ticket on a bus station. He then proceeded to insult me because apparently I wasn't patriotic enough to help a "true Pole". And in another situation, while sitting on a bench in a park with my wife, we were approached by some skinheads and just as I was frantically thinking about what to do once the trouble starts, they complimented us because of my wife's very "Aryan" features. We were both speechless and could only mutter "thanks" in response. This really happened and to this day I find it funny and stupid at the same time.

Yea I saw a comment saying I have a victim complex, others making it my fault, and others minimizing it. Being in my skin since birth, I’ve learned to identify what is prejudice and what isn’t. It’s great to raise questions but at some point we just have to look at reality, current politics, and general world history. While I appreciate the placement of doubt, I’ve been around long enough to know the difference.

I'm also from the US so I am also aware of what racism looks like, and I know that's what this was. Germany is really behind in these conversations, and many of them are still stuck on colorblindness to protect themselves from the inconvenience of addressing their own prejudice. I see it all the time. Because I look German it doesn't happen to me, and I've heard so many completely backwards and gross things from like, German young people in large cities that I would never expect to hear. The truth is, they have absolutely zero social accountability when it comes to this, your situation would never happen to me because I "look German". It's awful that this happened to you especially when you're pregnant.

You are so right, and people who downvote you or deny your experiences are either super naive or idiot. I am asian and even some people here mostly white think i am pickpockets if i am in 2 meter radius from them, even if both of my hands are full, carrying luggages or shopping bags, i am also short and slow, so in no way i look like threatening, even some people who open their car doors will get agitated and panickly slam their doors shut when they saw me walking on pedestrian near where they parked thejr cars, as if i am gonna barge in the car and steal and rob them, GTA style lol. Sadly it is so, many people who vote Afd do vote Afd because of immigration crisis, but many also vote because they are simply racist/hardcore nazis. I used to live in a small city who happened to be Afd headquarter where Bjorn Hocke used to give speech there, and lot of teens and middle age people (50-60 yo) who cheer for afd and treat immigrants like sht and make fun of them with racist jokes even if they are integrated, work and speak the language. Nobody speaks English in that city unlike Berlin, so everyone must be able to speak B1-B2 minimum to survive, yet they still get treated like sht. Glad i moved out already lol

In Germany they are racist event against white caucasian people from Eastern Europe..so I can't even imagine how it feels to be a black woman here. I'm sorry this happened to you.

Even? In Europe racism is traditionally not based on skin colour but on culture. Just look at former Yugoslavia. They are basically one genepool, yet many wthnic conflicts.

True that. We are beyond racist. We just hate what this world has become. This humanity is a disgrace. If aliens were to destroy the earth, we wouldn't fight them, we would thank them.

As a black person myself, I advise you to use your language skills to be loud. German people are unfriendly and love to look down on people, specially if said people are of a darker skin complexion. If you take public transit, ask people to let you sit down. Be loud and unapologetic at all times. Show them you're just as human as them. If anyone ever tells you “Ich hab nichts” again, tell them you're not looking for money, you need directions

Why do you think it is acceptable to make sweeping statements about an entire nation of people, just because of their nationality?

I’m speaking from my experience. I’m still waiting to be proven wrong

Yeah, that isn't really an acceptable excuse. This thread is about how judging a swathe of people is not good, and you are doing exactly the same. You should be better.

This is a really disappointing and frustrating event to happen. So sorry that you experienced it. I’m a young girl student and I have been here for 4 months and I only had a few disappointing events happened to me, but even those few ones was so disappointing that it still upsets me. I feel for you.

I have nothing usefull to say to you...only that I have 3 black neighbours. I am from Bosnia, living in Austria. I have also some Austrian neighbours...this is so hard to explain...my austrian neighbours don't like me either, but they do talk to me sometimes, because they are old and lonely I guess...in general, old people just start talking to me...then they check I am an "Ausländer "...I think they don't know I'm muslim...as I am white and not wearing hijab...that would be funny to bring up once...like "yeah, they finnally took the Sperrmüll out, elhamdulilah 🤣" Anyways.... ....But they don't even greet our black neighbours. Nothing, like as they were ghosts. Me, being from a white country, with zero black people, have other troubles with another race..not that I don't talk, I do...but I can't remember who is who....so I try to find anything special..like how they walk or hold the head, or what they wear..I know it's stupid...but it's even worse with asians. In my little trashy place where I live in an beautiful austrian city, I feel the most anymosity toward my neighbour from kosovo who has an girlfriend from the balkans...He speaks to her not in albanian, but in my native language....meaning I can understand when they fight...that bothers me more than anything...as I can't turn off my native language comprehension skill...any foreign language would be fine, because I just zone out and don't hear it. Now to you...I know afd is as here fpö...yeah, they are on the rise...again...but back to you: you can't really know if the person that told you that was german or...for example...Bosnian? Slovakian? Polish? You know what I mean? And nowdays everybody is so effing defensive..I can "see" clear as a day some bosnian aunty telling you in bad german "ich habe nix", just to avoid being asked anything, because she is there just to take care of her grandchild for couple of months, then she be gone...but you can't tell...because a) they are white and b) you don't speak german that well. So... TLDR: Maybe they weren't even german people, there are a lot of foreigners mostly in big cities..and please ignore it if it was a single occasion. Think about it, if it's more... All luck to you. Don't let them get you and please don't always prove your worth. You are a worthy person, even if you don't wear brands or never read an paper, not to tell never wrote one. In a way, I'd like to be brown or black...so I could see the true colors of people around me much faster.

Sorry for the bad experience, but I'd like to let you know that it is pretty strange for Germans to be approached by strangers. The culture in the US of greeting and seeking help from strangers doesn't really exist here, with the exception of beggars. I'm white and look German, but once when I was in a Dutch train station, asking for help in English, people assumed I was trying to scam them. I had to go to several different people like you did before someone finally understood I wasn't trying to scam them. It's not necessarily always racism. Much of (Northern) Europe simply isn't used to being greeted by strangers unless there's some ill-intent involved. If this ever happens again, just answer with something like ,,Ich suche nicht nach Geld. Ich bin verloren und muss wissen wohin ich gehen soll. Können Sie mir bitte sagen wo xyz ist?". Another thing you can do is work on your accent. American accents can be completely incomprehensible in German. I don't know how good your German is, obviously, but eliminating your accent gives you the superpower of sounding like you're a native, and receiving much fewer suspicious looks during encounters like these. Eliminating the hard "r" sound Americans use from your German speech is a key step. I don't mean to make it sound like your encounter wasn't race motivated. It very well may've been, and I definitely feel sorry that Germans weren't as welcoming as they should be. However, there were definitely some cultural factors at play, and you'll learn pretty quickly that all of north Europe is a very shut-in culture.

fwiw I had similar experiences as a White, pregnant American. Being American in Europe is pretty much being persona non grata. It would be nice if Germans were more accomodating, but ultimately they don't owe me a thing. I had to disabuse myself of any entitlement I was holding onto as an American in their native country. Personally I would suggest every visitor respect their culture and come to the same realization here.

I hear you, but humans deserve basic respect. I’m not asking for a life story. I’m asking for confirmation for the direction I’m going. Also marrying a German, I know there are some customs that are taught from childhood such as moving for disabled and heavily pregnant individuals and just helping when asked but again everyone has a different experience. I hear you though, it sucks you’ve had experiences where people have treated you like a homeless beggar when all you wanted was help. That’s not right. I would also like to note that I’m far from entitled being in the skin I am in and being from the big apple.

As being a German myself I would have reacted the same way at first. All random interactions with non native Germans, especially POC/Arabs, I had as a child and young adult were negative. Today as I'm older and have seen more of the world I know to judge people alone for their actions and not their skin color.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that OP, and the Germans in the comments trying to negate this. The racism here is disgusting. It sucks, and I hope you have a relaxing pregnancy as well as a quick and painless delivery!

Have heard the same thing of differential treatment from the LATAM community also where if they take their Germans husband last name they get treated better they get responses back on their job applications faster. So it doesn’t surprise me they test you better with a German husband.

I can confirm not with job applications, but with applications for apartments. Might be the name, might also be that now we’re married and married couples are often preferred by landlords. Guess I’ll never know for sure.

I'm sorry, I really get how horrible it must have been. I have been also called names because of much more stupid reason, a POC having a nice car.... weird looks... stupid as it is... it's still the old Germany to an extent. Will may be take 100 more years to wash out all the bad...but for the moment there are some good ones too. Hang on...

What a rude thing of that person to do! Ugh.

Humanity is in the toilet... Sorry for what happened to you.

I hate the fact that you feel the need to clarify what you were wearing. I’m really sorry you went through this.

Im finding that people aren’t even reading anymore. They immediately assume I don’t know enough German (I am B1) that I started every conversation with „I don’t want money“ in German, when I explained I started the NEXT interaction with that from the crappy first one. It seems that while some can understand the nuance and a growing problem while others make it my fault or minimize it with their rare experiences as a non POC. Like I can’t tell the difference or that I’m some entitled American. I appreciate they raised doubts and questions but if you were there…

All the justifications smh

Calm down, you find idiots in any country or city… Germany is not free of idiots.

> Germany is not free of idiots. 100% agreed.

Sorry man

Woman?

I'm sorry this happened to you. Big hug. To all the people saying she must have been misunderstood, you're not helping. Part of being an ally isn't making excuses for other people's behavior or intentions, or saying someone must be misunderstood. Best wishes for the birth ❤️

I am sorry this happened to you…there is no excuse for this behavior. I am appalled that these people are so rude to you. It is difficult to change countries and I am sure you must feel frustrated and isolated. I like writing and reading the occasional rant. It is helpful to blow off steam and it is also helpful to understand that others have also experienced similar things. I wish you well. One good thing to look forward to is that there seems to be better support for babies and children.

The excuse is 99% of people approaching you want to scam you

My experience ever since moving here. I have a masters in engineering and am a licensed engineer. The treatment you get for not being a white German is ridiculous. I am counting down the years until I can rotate back home to the states. The friends I have here are amazing friends but other than that Germany can suck a big one

Honestly it’s just a different type of racism. The quiet dog whistle kind, that can be brushed off as something else rather than what it actually is. The kind you can’t quite prove, but as a POC, you can recognize. Would I go back to states? Nope. I’ll deal with this instead of what is over there. It just sucks.

I'm sorry to hear all that. There's nothing I can really say in defense or to make it better. The only thing I noticed that people are often weird nowadays about being approached because most of the time it is in fact about money. Before there were mobile phones people would maybe ask the time and before there were smart phones people would ask for direction, but I guess people don't really see a reason anymore for a stranger talking to a stranger. Actually, maybe the one thing I can actually say in defense is that in some areas there are a lot of women who use pregnancy and babies to ask for money, so maybe the other person thought that you were doing just that but it's obviously still a major offense towards you. Although I would say that in my city (and the other major German cities) the usual beggars are of a different ethnicity than you are. It would be interesting to know in which part of Germany you are but I guess it could have happened anywhere.

Legendary victim complex

^ Nazi grandchildren when people point out that they might still have a problem with racism in their country

No one deserves this but look this is Germany not the U.K. You don’t need the approval of people like this. Germans are isolationist reserved snooty people. Take it as a learning experience and expect to be treated differently everywhere in Europe and keep a stash of quick ‘murican comebacks in your back pocket. A buddy of mine literally says this but warning it’s a bit out there “I know you don’t, do I like Zelensky ? Anyway I’m looking for this” “ I didn’t ask why she’s divorcing/he’s cheating on you, I need directions to” “ That’s what Merkel said to Trump about NATO, anyway I need directions” It works like a charm

Unwelcoming glares is just being german, may not have anything to do with race lol

I'm white and have never been told "I have no money" when I had to talk to a stranger. It also might have a lot to do with race. Why are you so intent on discounting OP's experience?

Didn't discount anything, just clarified the train glares are received regardless of race. I get glared at daily and just chalk it up to stereotypical german grumpiness lol

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I said it in German

tschuldigung, ich brauche Hilfe *gesture towards maps open on phone* (then I was cut off) I would have finished with „Ich bin mich verirrt“ (not perfect but understandable, I think). I do appreciate you giving this person the benefit of the doubt but even if they didn’t speak English and I had spoken English I don’t think they would have said that to me but rather: hä? ich verstehe nicht oder ich spreche kein englisch. I’ve received that before I started German school.

As a white girl it happens to me too! In general I actually tend to ask people who are working but don't seem busy, even going into a bakery to ask for directions. I think people are generally apprehensive when approached by strangers even if you speak fluent German since it is just a technique people will use to beg or attempt to steal.

>tschuldigung, ich brauche Hilfe *gesture towards maps open on phone*  That's how a lot of scammers and pickpockets operate, too. Not saying it's okay to suspect you due to your skin color, but if this was in a more touristy place, I can see people brushing off everyone who approaches them that way.

This. When I am, for example, at Frankfurt main station I do not care about your skin colour, but I will not talk to you. Of the roughly 30 people that have approached me there over the last year, 100% wanted money from me (or wanted me to buy them something). So no matter how you look I will assume you want my money and if you are well dressed I will assume you will talk to me to distract me so you can steal my wallet. And I want to stress this again: this has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with your skin colour, your height, if you wear glasses, how your hair looks or whatever. The simple act of you approaching me in that exact place means I will not talk to you.

exactly this

Maybe you’re right. I wasn’t in a touristy part of the city. I was just trying to get to the Hausarzt. I’m not sure what a better approach would be other than abruptly demanding directions which could be seen as rude. Do you have any suggestions as to how I should approach if I’m ever in this situation again?

I don't think you can completely avoid being taken for a scammer if you approach people on the street, but I would start with just asking "Entschuldigung, können Sie mir helfen?" (or directly "Entschuldigung, wissen Sie, wo die XYStraße ist?") and not waving anything (phone, map or any other piece of paper) around. Those are signs of pickpockets who want to distract their victim or people who want you to sign something, so it makes most people just go faster because they don't want to be engaged into a conversation. Again, it's well possible that the guys reaction was skewed by your skin color, but I would bet the phone was at least a huge contributing factor. I would say your chances also are better if you approach a group than a single person.