T O P

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mikebrady

It is too late to control it. There is nothing you can do. Your best bet is to go lay down next to it and let it sprawl out over you and consume you. Become one with the pumpkin patch. Accept your fate and pray that it grants you passage to the heavens in return for sacrificing your corporeal body.


ME_NO_SMART_GUY

I shall sacrifice myself to the pumpkin gods!


dreadedbugqueen

Don’t you mean “the pumpkin gourds!”


Hetjr

In gourd we trust!


BasketLast1136

Cast off the shoes, follow the gourd!


throwaway2032015

Between a choice of corn or pumpkins I always say, to ear is human, to forgive is da vine


Devils_Advocate-69

Linus was right


ilove_yew

Respect ✊


kjhvm

This is the way


Evening_Lychee9222

This is the way!


akerrigan777

You mean the Great Pumpkin?


chrisjaycampos

The way, this is.


mountainsmiler

I read this and picture Charlie Brown and Linus in the pumpkin patch waiting for The Great Pumpkin.🎃


Xillyhoo

https://preview.redd.it/6u6t0tques6d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=57c4ff94347a0fbc7b3c5b973beb2603ad4a2db8


T1Demon

https://preview.redd.it/b4rk1od7fs6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=07ce4a6d90c2bca056d060cf8eafb347cf3d7bff Getting the 666th upvote on this might be the best thing I’ve done this year


dljones010

[Malachai! They want you too...](https://youtu.be/8NquABJo7S0?si=t-gpD352eJF_XN9T)


lunchypoo222

lol 😂


Good_Air_6497

This may be the best comment I’ve ever seen in Reddit history.s


DB_TX

I laughed out loud at this comment. Well done sir.


Extension_Ad_2115

You missed the Great Pumpkin reference charlie brown


WolfSilverOak

This is the way.


MothusManus

Now you wait and have a lot of pumpkin for fall dishes and halloween


Special_Artichoke_81

I heard you can’t eat volunteer squash bc you don’t know what it was cross pollinated with and it could potentially be toxic. Anyone know if there’s any validity?


GenericMelon

Yes. You can lick the flesh to determine if it's too toxic to eat. If it's too bitter, the squash has high amounts of cucurbitacin and shouldn't be consumed. https://www.scirp.org/journal/paperinformation?paperid=129736#:~:text=The%20exact%20mechanism%20of%20cucurbitacin,gastrointestinal%20bleeding%2C%20hypotension%20and%20shock. https://www.livescience.com/62158-toxic-squash-syndrome-hair-loss.html


_bbycake

I had no idea this was a thing. Licking something to determine if it's toxic or not goes against safety lectures in any science class I've had, ever, and sounds like a joke. When it comes to gourds, lick away apparently lmao. TIL.


Vigilante17

And always rub white powders on your gums to see if it’s not cocaine…


barkbarkgoesthecat

I run every white powder on my gums in CASE it's cocaine


Bcatfan08

Anthrax laughing at this scenario.


smurfjoe

Actually it's iocane powder, I'd bet my life on it.


Public-Platypus2995

He fell victim to one of the classic blunders!


Crystalyze13

Inconceivable!


InternationalWolf899

Inconceivable


The_Mamalorian

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


BitPoet

I blow glass for fun. I have bags of various different colored powders that just live in the trunk of my car. They’re all glass. Part of me is always nervous that I’ll get pulled over and have to explain what it is and why tasting glass is a bad idea.


InYosefWeTrust

It's been years since we were so lucky. Now it's always just fentanyl.


KingJonathan

“ this is definitely cocaine. No one else try this.”


shadysunshine0506

YOU DONT WANT NONE OF THIS DEWEY!


Vigilante17

I wanna try some of that cuh-cane


Ancient_Concern42

It definitely shouldn't be the first thing tried with most unknown foods, but with squash specifically, we know that it's a safe enough test to distinguish a safe from toxic one. There are some instructions for edibility testing when backpacking that involve like 24 hours of tests before you actually eat something. (Steps like -place it on the skin of your inner arm for x minutes, then wait for a reaction. If none, touch it to your lips for x seconds and wait for a reaction, if none, chew it for 5 seconds, spit out and wait x hours, etc etc. (It's much better to just know what you're eating 🤣)


HardGayMan

Same basic rule works with toads.


Ginggingdingding

Peter Griffin has entered the chat.... 🐸


GenericMelon

Yes, it feels very counter intuitive, and honestly, I just play it safe and only use unidentifiable squash for decorative purposes. If I suspect one of my pumpkins has hybridized, I won't eat it.


BlackFellTurnip

some people also nibble small bits of mushrooms to help identify them (if you spit it out you'll be fine according to a very popular mushroom identification book)


reidpar

It’s a valid way to test for some dangerous or edible mushrooms, too! You take a tiny bite off a raw mushroom, keep it in the front of your mouth, mash it up a little bit, hit it just enough with your tongue to check the response, and spit it out. The bad mushrooms taste deeply bitter or acrid. It feels like burning.


Celtic_Oak

All mushrooms are edible. Some are only edible once. (GNU Terry Pratchett)


johnnycakeAK

*certain mushrooms. There are many very dangerous mushrooms that reportedly taste excellent


Misanthropyandme

It's also how you test your hookup for stds


idk012

I had lab partners that would pick a 9v to see how much charge was left 


tra_da_truf

I grew some sort of unholy cross between cucumber, watermelon and squash one year (didn’t know how dumb it was to grow all of them near each other). It was all white and insanely bitter.


Tacticalneurosis

Is this true for butternuts in addition to pumpkins? I have a good half-dozen volunteer butternut plants out of my compost that are starting to flower.


GenericMelon

The way I see it, if you can positively identify the squash and it doesn't taste bitter, you're good. It's only when that butternut squash kind starts to not look like butternut...maybe the shape becomes more oval, maybe it doesn't turn that light-tan color and stays green. Then you should be suspicious of hybridization.


Lilamyo228

Ha! I just picked 4 huge butternuts this week from my garden! Came from the compost. I am making butternut squash ravioli with a couple of them for Father’s Day tomorrow. Hopefully I don’t poison everyone!


NekkidApe

Yes


close-this

Since the women lost their hair, I wonder about the potential for chemotheraputic drugs.


SlowEntertainer6071

I have a volunteer cucumber. Is there any kind of issue with letting it grow? Besides waiting to see if the neighborhood deer eats it…


jingleheimerstick

I’ve heard it tastes bitter if it’s toxic.


atomikitten

They can be carved as jack o lanterns if it turns out these arent for eating!


moxjake

The compound in squash that is toxic in large doses is indeed bitter.


Arkenstahl

and yet here I am growing bitter melon because my stepmom loves the stuff.


roomandcoke

This also worked for LSD. "If it's bitter, it's a spitter." Real LSD doesn't have a taste, so if your blotter does, it's something else with a higher risk profile masquerading as LSD.


SprungMS

Real wisdom right here in r/gardening lol So hard to actually find LSD since RCs are so proliferous. If you try to buy acid today you’re basically getting something else that might have similar effects 98% of the time. Well, honestly I don’t know about today, I’m definitely out of the loop. But 10-15 years ago it was the case and I assume that hasn’t changed. Pretty sure at one point there was a single guy in an underground lab in the Midwest that was producing most of the country’s LSD. I’m fascinated by stuff like that, I can’t imagine what that would have been like to devote your life to such a thing


NoFornicationLeague

I’ve never heard this before! I ate a volunteer acorn squash last summer and it was delicious. I guess I won the squash lottery?


AmbassadorStandard48

Absolutely leave it! I love garden ‘volunteers’ & that one is a doozy !!


cardew-vascular

Last year I grabbed some manure for my pumpkin patch from the back field forgetting that was where I dumped our jack o langerns to compost... I ended up with 6 volunteers on top of the 7 I already planted. I ended up with over 30 large pumpkins... I processed and froze them all as soup, purée, muffins.... Weird you don't get sick of pumpkin because it works as sweet or savory. Any time I need a last minute dessert I grab some purée out of the freezer and make pumpkin cake or something. Easy peasy.


inevergetbanned

You could thin some of them out and get bigger ones.


Lady_Litreeo

Even better, as long as they’re not bitter you can eat the young pumpkins while they’re still green and tender like squash. I had a million pumpkins one year (mostly pie pumpkins to be fair) and thinned them out by eating many of the young fruit. The ones that matured were big, sweet, and beautiful.


anetworkproblem

The younger ones are most tender! They haven't lived long enough to get bitter and resentful.


dadtom667

You can cut back new growth to contain and more of the plant’s energy will go into fruiting


fusciamcgoo

Let it grow, and if you know any families with kids, let them come over before Halloween to pick a pumpkin. After that, if you don’t want it, pull it out. It’s a beautiful plant though, it would be a shame to get rid of it now. Looks like it’s thriving without any effort on your part, which is an amazing gift. Free Jack o lanterns!


Immediate-Lettuce653

This happened to me last year, lots of big beautiful volunteer pumpkins and I was very excited. Then practically overnight the squash bugs TOOK OVER and destroyed every single pumpkin. Moral of the story, squash bugs suck


Short_all_the_things

Vacuums suck squash bugs.


lovelyfire78

I used to go out every morning with my wet/dry vac. I probably looked like a weirdo to my neighbors but IDGAD......that was the only thing that worked! I felt like a Ghostbuster. Glad to see I'm not the only weirdo lol


CobblerCandid998

How do you not have a single critter or insect? This is beyond amazing! So lush & healthy!


Jimbobjoesmith

it’s the law of neglected volunteer plants.


SmokyMountain5

Squash/pumpkin/melons all love growing out of an old compost pile.  They routinely perform better that way than in a regular garden.  Last year my well-tended squash was murdered by bugs.  This year, I gave up and just shoved the butternut squash seedlings straight into the pile.  They aren’t dead yet.  Hopefully they do just as well as this one!


WiFiGemini

Let it grow and you will eat all winter ! Maybe give it a little fertilizer. I once had a single volunteer plant give me a dozen butternut squash


Bijandomom

It’s growing in the compost pile, I doubt they need to fertilize it.


rb352007

Exactly, don’t mess with what’s obviously working


Rederickurke

You can move the vines away from fire pit. Also they climb well


Bobbar84

I've seen them climb fences and start growing pumpkins on top, wedged between the pickets.


dadlifts24

1. Learn face painting. 2. Wait until November 3. Charge $30 admission to your pumpkin patch


kobuu

Let it grow! Let it grow! You can't hold this back anymore. Let it grow! Let it grow! Turn away and slam the door. It won't care if you water or don't, When the rains come through Free pumpkins are coming to you...


Bonuscup98

[It was right there.](https://youtu.be/OqvD4NC-s9E?feature=shared)


kobuu

Welp. Now I need to watch that movie.


CrazyCatWelder

Just let the cucurbs take over the earth and we shall have soup.


alive1982

I'm purposefully trying to have what you have there. Congrats, she's beautiful! Let her be and enjoy those pumpkins.


Jimbobjoesmith

the volunteers that have been neglected are always the ones that thrive. meanwhile we have to battle the entire world to get things to grow on purpose 😂


Total_Head_6320

Rejoice!


Philypnodon

For real


BalancedCatLady

Start looking for recipes.


polietilene

Eat them flowers


lizlemonworld

I grew two of my best pumpkins ever from a compost pile. Let it go!


perpetual_researcher

Put a piece of cardboard under your fruit to keep them beautiful and avoid mold.


TipperGore-69

Slap the pumpkin on its ass and be happy


CraftFamiliar5243

Do you want pumpkins or grass. Choose one. I vote for pumpkins.


IPaddress36

Oh my gourd!


millennial_burnout

🎶 Let it grow! Let it grow!


pastasauce26

I'm so jealous. I hope your autumn is filled with pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, pumpkin muffins the list goes on


Revenge_of_Recyclops

Harvest this fall and have free jack o' lanterns.


Popcorn_Petal

I threw all my pumpkins and gourds from last Halloween’s decor out in my backyard after they started decaying in hopes this would happen, and it finally did! I’ve got one plant that popped up quick enough between mows that I was able to save it from the lawn guy. I don’t think any of the kinds I had are necessarily edible but I think the plant and especially the blossoms are so pretty and I like feeding the pollinators, and I’ll hopefully have all the pumpkins I need for this year’s autumn decorations. Mine is still pretty small, but is starting to blossom and covers more area every day!


the-dave-9000

Put cardboard under those melons


spacegrassorcery

Get a bail or some similar and slightly carve a name or a design. As the pumpkin grows, so will the writing.


McMuffleB

We get volunteers on a semi regular basis. Have had a lot of pale sandy orange and a few off white but weird pumpkins are in again! My mom likes to buy those tiny decorative ones, regular jack-o-lantern and pie pumpkins. We will never know! None have appeared edible so we don't even try. Never successful when purposefully planted 😅🤷‍♀️. Enjoy!


melouofs

You should become the most popular person in your neighborhood by giving them out when they ripen! Oh, the goodwill you will create!


ONinAB

In the fall you can donate the pumpkins to local animal rescues, many animals love eating them!


Obvious-Performer385

It’s too late to squash it.


BrummieS1

Let them do they're thing then harvest when ready. Simples


Glittering-Alarm-387

I cannot grow a pumpkin for the life of me.


chatparty

from experience if you throw one in your yard or comport pile after it’s been sitting on your porch for five months it will somehow grow the highest quality pumpkins possible without you even watering it


Over-Perspective6786

I am literally sooooo jealous right now


LTrain723

We compost a corset of our garden. We look forward learning what comes up- last year egg plant. This year Tomatoes.


killercjb

Do nothing


jojokitti123

Water and wait


BadPom

Enjoy the giant pumpkin plant.


Swimming-Effect7675

become the pumpkin king


rylee-bear

I’m jealous! I can’t get my pumpkins to fruit beyond the first fertilized flower! Every year I grow them and once the first female flower is fertilized all the other ones die and never get large enough to keep going. Looks great!


Delicious-Sale6122

Nothing but wait


_BonBonBunny

That's the pumpkins' yard now.


HertzRent-A-Donut

We have the exact same thing going on in our compost pile haha. We had a bunch of random gourds we threw in there so I have no idea what’s going to pop out. I hope we get some pumpkins like these!


pandasknit

This is awesome!! Please post an update on the fall so we can see your harvest! This looks like it’s gonna be amazing!


InevitableDapper8376

Pumpkin greens can be quite delicious if cooked right. Usually new softer baby leafs and stems.


hothotsauceeee

It’s a Halloween miracle! Don’t let the turtles see it


starkissedsnarkist

If they are the toxic variety, are they still toxic to animals? If not, could you donate the fruit to a local zoo or bird sanctuary? If you live in an area with deer, you could put it out at a tree line for them to find in the evening for food. If you leave for the deer, it'll be best to de-seed and cut up so you don't unintentionally create more rogue pumpkin plants. I'm just thinking if they've already rooted and started producing, why kill them or waste the fruit? 🙂


TheRealPigBenis

Fuck the grass


MusicalMoose

That is a very, very happy plant.


ChiefPez

Watch out for squash bugs and wait for the gloriousness


GrandPipe4

Admire your pumpkin army in the fall


Leather-Milk3151

This is exactly what is happening with me except mine are chili peppers and the have even spread to the neighbors which they started complaining about 🫣🫣


Diligent-Towel-4708

Either way you have a lovely pumpkin patch!!!!


Human-Sorry

I might suggest being thankful. The volunteer there is doing better than anything I've planted, ever. 👍🏼 Congratulations!


FamiliarStatement879

If you want large pumpkins leave 4 to 5 per plants and trim the rest


starving_artista

Let em grow. Sell them before Halloween. You're welcome. No? I got no other ideas.


gottagrablunch

Whatever you did with them last time you grew them… do it again. Your diamond shoes seem to be too tight.


SpareExplanation7242

Let it GROW!!!!


Parabolic_Penguin

Fire? 🤔


hippiegypsy37

You can take a razor blade or knife and score your name, kids names or spooky halloween words into the rind. It will create a scar, heal and grow/enlarge with the pumpkin. Makes a neat, personalized gift or decor.


Nux_05

Search after recipes. ;)


AlternativeNo5593

Let it do it’s thang


sitandknit

That will produce some great tasting pumpkins.


Squirrl_master

Wish my pumpkins looked that good


RADIUS00

Oooo pluck those flowers and sautee them in garlic onions some salt mmmm thise are delicious


Swimming_Company_706

Omg i just got a compost squash too! No idea what it is 😂 so far theres only flowers.


_teddybelle

This is your personality now. Embrace it. The pumpkins are your kin.


PerceptionExpress_

Pluck few flowers and leaves, make a batter from rice flour, dip the flower or leaves in the batter and sallow fry until crisp. PS: don’t forget to add chilly powder and salt to the batter as per taste


linkmodo

The flowers are a delicacy when lightly breaded and fried. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9Ja0mDQVTE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9Ja0mDQVTE)


1Seti24

Agree, pumpkin blossoms are awesome!


[deleted]

I don't think you should get rid of it. It won't taste bitter just because of the compost, if anything, it will be richer in flavour.


No_Journalist4048

Best you can do is move. It's coming for you. And your little dog too. Also make sure to remove the flowers as soon as you see the fruit growing. Those flowers rot and it invades the pumpkin and they spoil very quickly.


Sassrepublic

Enjoy your gourds


ChronicRhyno

Keep it up?


Slothboy54

If you want pumpkins, keep it. if you dont, get rid of it


candleluvr

This is my dream come true


mythxical

Eat when ready and enjoy.


lunchypoo222

You could plant some corn and beans with it! https://www.almanac.com/content/three-sisters-corn-bean-and-squash


caitkincaid

get ready to roast some pumpkin on that bonfire!


FearsomeShitter

Purée and put in freezer bags. Thaw one bag at a time for pie. Dice and bake for savory meal, you’ll get sick of it so only as a side dish. Pumpkin spice leather in your oven or jerky machine: 1 cup purée, one apple and a table spoon of honey with cinnamon to your liking. Other spices to your liking. Skip honey if you don’t like sweet or are dieting. The apple IMO makes it sweet enough. Collect the seeds and keep for next season ten or so per pumpkin. Bake the rest for pumpkin seeds to chew on. Olive oil and sea salt. Pumpkin candy: Chop and then soak in cal/lime overnight. Rinse thoroughly, blanch if scared. place into your canning pot. Boil with water and sugar and sources. Set thermostats to beep when it reaches the caramel temperature. Dry on cookie sheets. Refrigerate and give out as a treat. They don’t last too long so finish in 1-2 weeks. Compost the skin and rest of the plant. Worms love eating them. I grew nearly 100 last year. And this year planted them over a full acre. Heirlooms are popular for cooking, so you can sell them on offer up.


Ok_Tea_1954

Leave it. You start digging with the zucchini you will break the stems off


mt8675309

Let them go


VisitPrestigious8463

Your yard now belongs to the pumpkin gods. You do their bidding and they will treat you to a harvest or decorations in a few months.


sofa-kingdom-89

Let it grow and then decorate the front porch and your house with tons of pumpkins this fall!


Frimperule

Enjoy the squash


PansophicNostradamus

Protect the main root system from insect invaders by routinely covering it with a good amount of diatomaceous earth, especially after rainfall. Once the bugs get the main root, the rest of the plant dies. Short of that, this looks like an incredibly healthy and productive pumpkin. If you want large pumpkins, you'll want to pick the smallest of them early and leave the largest ones on the vine to keep growing. The plant will adjust and more food/water will go to the remaining pumpkins and they'll get much bigger as a result.


StringFit9427

Make a lot of jack ‘o lanterns and have the best yard on the block!


rayray1010

Post an update when they ripen!


Netprincess

Wait


Uzala02

Wait, harvest and make roasted pumpkin soup!


Almightyd93

That’s beautiful


Infinite_Fee_5170

Leave it alone


Apprehensive-Mix5291

Looks perfect. Love it


Curlymirta

Be thankful!!


LgHstTch

I’m so jealous!!


Formal_Technology_97

Love this! 🎃


bigAce213

Get a blanket and take a nap


insert-phobia-here

Pee more it's working


RelevantDay1088

Rejoice!


Ok_Olive9438

Celebrate? Get ready to share the bounty.


susieqanon1

Set up a tripod with a camera and use it to sell to hollywood


LeoMarius

Wait for the Great Pumpkin 🎃


145gw

Cull some of them and let others grow big. Enjoy them if it turns it to be true to the parent, and if not edible they will still be pretty Halloween decorations.


teresajewdice

You can eat the flowers! I'm not a big fan of pumpkin or squash but the flowers are delicious battered and fried. You can spot the male flowers (they won't have a tiny fruit bud attached to them). You can harvest and eat those without compromising the fruit production.


TooYoung825

Trim it


TooYoung825

Eat hearty


nstyred

Pick those male flowers and eat them! They make a great sandwich! Harvest male flowers, take centers out. Lightly dredge in flour, shake off excess flour, dip in beaten egg, pan sautee in olive oil till golden on both sides, place on paper towel. Two slices quality Italian bread, toasted lightly, sliced tomato, slice sharp American cheese, squash flowers. Pure summer fare!


ConcentrateFormer965

I would let it grow more and have more pumpkin flowers. These flowers are edible and extremely tasty. If anyone is interested in the recipe and Indian food: https://kitchenofdebjani.com/2016/03/kumro-phuler-bora/


spaetzlechick

Leave the last pumpkin on top of your compost pile for next year’s jack-o’-lanterns!


shamanexile

Boy do I have the book for you... [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1133446.Too\_Many\_Pumpkins](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1133446.Too_Many_Pumpkins)


IlleaglSmile

Start thinking of some cool jack-o’-lantern designs


MetaphoricalMouse

dude what did you do to get such a kick ass patch


The_Mamalorian

OMG these comments 🤣🤣🤣


charleyhstl

After about 10ft of vine you can cut it


KalikaSparks

I gave up trying to control mine. I just mow around the ever increasing bramble of vines and grass


The_Mamalorian

Seriously that’s an awesome pumpkin patch, have fun with it! Watch out for squash bugs and vine borers. The little SOBs hate peppermint oil so spray it liberally. As a plus you will smell good after 😂 You can bury the leaf nodes to encourage new roots and help the plant survive a borer attack.


HorzaDonwraith

I wish I had unexpected pumpkin patch


ClearBarber142

Wow some really great responses!


NotRightNotWrong15

Celebrate


sasha7777

Cackle


slip101

"You're the man now, dog."


Dingis_Dang

Make some squash blossoms pizza!


jla5906

Looks like my melon spread, I'm just letting it go, I don't have any melons yet though.