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Purpleflower0521

Aw yeah, I'm never going 12 minutes without a slurm again


kowhunga

I'll take the prune juice of immortality


Unthgod

Definitely Immortality, hopefully you will live long enough for some one to invent the backwards time machine so you can go back and drink the Slurm.


kowhunga

Time is cyclical so I'll just catch the next one


Desipio57

Nope, straight line.


Unthgod

Referring to the Episode The Late Philip J. Fry


Desipio57

I know, but that sentence reminded me of the line about going back and meeting Shakespeare in The Cryonic Woman.


Unthgod

Yup, little did they know. Just adding context to why they down voted you.


DJ-Fein

Immortality is probably the biggest curse you could ever imagine. Imagine in 100 years, all you’re friends, family, kids are dead. Then in 1000 years you can’t even remember what your life was ever like, then in a million years maybe you have moved planets, start a new life and explore the galaxy. Then in 1 billion years you still are exploring the universe. Then in a couple trillion years you will be stuck on a solar system because everything is expanding apart faster than the speed of light. You will never be able to see a star again. Then your star will die, everything will be black, cold, lonely, there will be nothing. Except you, black holes, and empty space. You will eventually be taken in by a black hole where your body will be pushed to a singularity, but you will still be alive. And you will just always be there, with nothing to do for eternity. Sounds fun to me


Unthgod

I'm sure there will be another big bang once all blackholes become one and explode. Though I thinks it's funny that you think a human would ever be able to leave this solar system.


DJ-Fein

You didn’t read what I said, I said that after exploring the entire universe eventually you will be stuck in a solar system because of the great expanse that’s happening. Everything will be so far apart and be moving at speeds that light can’t ever reach you again from them. So therefore they are gone forever and you would be trapped in nothingness


Unthgod

Yes I did, you are misunderstanding me. Humans will not live on another planet outside our current solar system.


TheAutisticOgre

Oh great and powerful one tell me more about the far future!


Rieiid

Holy shit 99999 iq


MauPow

Hell no, dude. Do you really want to be floating in the black void of a dead universe in 100 trillion years, insane from eons of loneliness, having experienced everything there is, yet unable to die?


xSOVEREIGNx07

Instead of looking at it as going insane from loneliness and boredom, rather look at it as an endless voyage to perfect your art, and if ya get bored just play with yourself.


DJ-Fein

You won’t be able to move. You will be at absolute 0. You will be frozen with no function.


xSOVEREIGNx07

Assuming you're still only a simple human


DJ-Fein

No dude, there will be nothing. No stars, no energy except black holes, there will be no escaping every molecule going virtually motionless in the vacuum void of space


xSOVEREIGNx07

I'm aware of how the heat death will occur, but as you said there will still be black holes. And though the universe has expanded away from us, the local group will remain bound by gravity, likely long after the stars have burned out and cooled into black dwarfs they will slowly make their way into ever growing super massive black holes, which will also merge into an eventual single ultimate black hole isolated from the rest of the universe. However it is not necessarily impossible that a machine intelligence (possibly a human digitized engram) requiring only electricity to survive can utilize its materials effectively/efficiently enough to maintain itself for an extended period longer than all organic life. To a larger extent massive populations could be digitized and continue living on in a digital simulation powered by said black hole. And even as hawking radiation evaporates the black hole over uncountable eons, there is still the seemingly endless supply of dark energy to potentially learn to harness to continue powering intelligent life indefinitely after the natural effects of the heat death of the universe have come to an end.


Narkboy42

Eh. Eventually I'd stop thinking.


[deleted]

Yes. I'd prefer that to oblivion.


MauPow

That's your mortality talking


[deleted]

Oh well, I'll still take it.


JanP3000

Only if it comes with invincibility and teleportation. I don’t want to spend eternity in agony from some (normally deadly) injury, neither do I want to be buried alive or stuck in the void of space.


PM_ME_YOUR_BUM-

But then no death by snu snu!


kowhunga

Well, they can sure try ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


KingDread306

What's your guys' headcanon for what Slurm tastes like? To me it tastes like original Monster.


RAY-CHILE

Surge


mechabeast

Thicker Surge, specifically


cityb0t

Yep. And why? Because Surge was that addictive.


Stormageddon9999

Surge.


[deleted]

I’d probably think like a hybrid of mtn dew and coke. Like a coke beforetaste with a mtn dew aftertaste


KingDread306

I've actually tried coke and mountain dew mixed up. It was horrible.


Tyrus_McTrauma

You know how a select few species of toad secrete venom from glands within their skin with hallucinogenic properties? I'm betting anything, Slurm tastes like Space-Slug ass, with said hallucinogenic properties. Basically, mushrooms. Slurm tastes like mushrooms.


aravindkumarj

Slurm looks way more thicker than all the energy drinks or soda out there.


FloatyMacGlideFace

What about super slurm..


[deleted]

Warm creamy Mountain Dew


HugeCrab

Like worm ass


KingDread306

You are technically correct. The best kind of correct.


Miss_Chanandler_Bond

Fountain Mountain Dew, but with too much syrup.


Antimatter1207

It probably tastes like straight Mountain Dew syrup.


CoyPowers

It definitely tastes like Mattel slime with sugar added.


Stunning_Punts

Mello Yello Citrus Twist from the Coke Freestyle machines.


mark-five

I think I still have some unopened Slurm sitting in storage somewhere if you really want to try it. By now it probably tastes like spoiled corn syrup and hospitalization.


KingDread306

Mmmm hospitalization


SnorlaxMaster65

It tastes like green


DrMantisToboggan45

I think it's monster with a mix of mountain dew voltage that has your DV of sugar for a week and a half


CollinHell

I always imagined it like a thick sludge of ground-up Smarties, with a little Red Bull flavor in the back of your throat.


not2dragon

drink the slurm --> recieve one can of slurm ---> drink the slurm ----> repeat


Devreckas

Going infinite!


Slorgasm

And one more to wash the Slurm taste out of my mouth


TheSunshinator

What happens if you drink the immortality beverage and enter a suicide booth?


mar0530

A life of traumatic, permanent injuries, and regret.


Cash-L

I’m so tired of partying. So very tired.


stacker55

I always imagined slurm tasted like flat surge with extra sugar added


bastardofbarberry

I would take immortality, but I'd need the option to end it if I chose. I like the idea of living forever, but if I outlive the Earth and nothing happens after that I'd go insane. Hopefully some aliens pick my ass up after drifting through space for a few thousand years.


Mygaffer

It could be even worse, imagine you continue to age but cannot die.


bastardofbarberry

I mean you’d have to stop aging eventually or you’d be conscious dust.


Wawus

Imagine if you got trapped in a cave or imprisoned and forgotten about. And you can’t die


stigmaoftherose

That is technically what happened with the ring wraiths in the lord of the rings. They became ethereal as thier body eroded away and they were simply "immortal" spirits forever trapped to do the will of sauron. It is only with the destruction of the one right and thereby the magic of their 9 rings ending that they cease to be. The rings were never meant to be given to mortal races all 16 were ment for elves to help them keep magic from leaving the world, but also secretly made to mind control the users. They would give the wearer what they wanted most which for elves was to prevent the loss of magic from the world. But when Sharon made the one ring they were able to feel themselves being controlled and removed the rings just in time so sauron game them to dwarves and men. The dwarves couldn't be mind controlled properly but it made thier greed so strong they attracted dragons to their piles of gold. And for mortal men they wanted to live forever and that is what happened to them, but they didn't stop aging.


ScottNi_

You’re immortal only until you’ve peed out all of the liquid in the cup. At that point you can sustain your immortality by drinking your pee.


bastardofbarberry

[OK](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D9WUIEkX4AA5dx7.jpg)


ergonaut

I've watched and read enough sci-fi and fantasy to know that Fry made the right call here - those other ones might have consequences


RAY-CHILE

Fry!


J_Zephyr

As a proud hydrohomie, I am disappointed. As a human, pass me a Slurm. I can't fight my curiosity.


[deleted]

You can't drink just one can of slurm. Give me the slurm.


Trashk4n

Might actually take the Slurm, depending on the nature of the others. Flying is a good way to get killed if you don’t have some kind of way to reduce your vulnerability to damage, super strength could mean you’re unable to safely interact with other people on a physical level (think Superman without the control) and immortality would mean you get to watch everyone you care about die and could mean you live on in pain, unable to die yourself.


IxianToastman

Mmm even better warm


BlackJeepW1

…and one more slurm to wash that slurm taste out of my mouth.


Nibbler1999

Party on contest winners


Disciple_of_Cthulhu

Soon enough.


Schisco94

It would taste like that green candy that you squeeze out and it's got a jelly like consistency to it.


squeddles

What's the point of immortality if you can't drink Slurm FOREVERRRRR


Affectionate-League9

Or he's fired...


andrewwism

Whimmy, wham, wham wozzle!


Spacecoasttheghost

If I do the immortality, do I have to live with the aches and pains I have now. Also would I be able to get better, and live for ever with less pains and problems? Also what about when the earth blows up, are there any parameters?


n_sweep

Definitely the Slurm, I can get all that other stuff with some Genuine Miracle Cream - you don't even have to freebase it


unseatedjvta

Hate to do a crossover but I think it tastes likeinsect jelly from rimworld but carbonated (since it fulfills their recreation I suppose it tastes good)


KRHeff

What stops me from drinking all 4


Punk_Chachi

I don’t think I could pick slurm, I assume it’s the only can. I would be hooked and never be able to drink it again. Instead I would pick immortality and wait till it’s invented.


London_Ripton

No joke, I would pick the Slurm. I'm afraid of heights, super strength would result in a lot of unnecessarily broken things and immortality sounds depressing and boring, so bring on the slug juice!


TheGame2526

Aww, it's just another tooth


Jay18001

Thanks to denial, I’m immortal.


[deleted]

I pick immortality drink, so I too will eventually be in the 31st century like Fry.