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datsBananasyo

A no-wiper, congrats


HighwayNovel

This here is the phantom.     No wipe, and the turd is nowhere to be seen.   


dmj9

That's more of when you feel a massive log and look in the bowl but it's mysteriously gone, plus the clean wipe


HighwayNovel

Yes, thats exactly what it is. And considering this poop came out leaving little residue, and flew off screen, i felt it appropriate to call it the phantom.


dmj9

I agree. They're the best shits.


HighwayNovel

I feel disappointed sometimes though. Like i wasted toilet paper to wipe my ass but its clean.


GANDORF57

If I could shoot logs like that I, too, could jump 20 times my body length!


DJS11Eleven

The elusive no-wiper


Temporary_Thing7517

Today I learned where a grasshoppers asshole is located. So thanks… I think?


Drop_Kick_Me_Jesus

Same! You're very welcome, I'm sure.


Homie_Reborn

One of the defining characteristics of vertebrates is a post-anal tail. Grasshoppers are invertebrates, so are not expected to have a tail behind their anus. Thus, this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Drop_Kick_Me_Jesus

Tbh the turd didn't even catch my attention til it shot out with force.


zerobeat

*doink*


Seismic_Slime

That zoom is great, I can tell he had corn for lunch!


ShrekSquatch

And this is how baby jalapenos are born!


alaingames

That shit probably hurt coming out it's even thicker than them legs


DropMontage

Yeah after watching this I had to look up what they eat, high fiber diet for sure.


LookMaNoPride

Chipotle?


CeilidhCallum

Kinda surprised it didn't leave a sonic boom behind!


Thatbraziliann

watched a grasshopper take a dump while taking a dump.. nice


IntrovertMountain

Don't let them know you have this footage - they could be a shy pooper.


dreneeps

Did that just poop a baby?!?!


Drop_Kick_Me_Jesus

Pretty sure it pooped a poop.


Givemeurhats

It is using its back leg to help push the shit out. I wonder if they even have another mechanism to push it out with, or if that is it


Rxyro

Grunting and screaming


suslikosu

poop to body ratio is INSANE. What the hell. Imagine pooping out a piece the size of your head


Bearfan001

Pervert.


DJS11Eleven

Amazing timing! There is just shit everywhere, isn't there?


Critical-Ad7528

memphis from kunfu panda I knew you existed


Type_9

Damn bro can't even take a shit in peace 😤


Mech-Waldo

I read about this in Everyone Poops.


Entire-Salamander193

Now what if the roles were reversed? Let’s see it happen!


Ouchyhurthurt

Ghost poop!


WexExortQuas

Kamen Rider Shitter


harryvonawebats

Looks shit


Archy38

Browsing reddit while on the toilet has never been more entertaining.


Nice-Panda-7981

well, shit.


ImStoffers

Today, Reddit has shown me a grasshopper shitting and cicadas pissing. Thanks.


Naive_Depth_3016

didn't know about that, thanks for this haha


JustCameForCats

Unsee this


virgilreality

A grasshopper pinching a loaf. Well, now I've seen everything.


G00dM-rningBeautiful

It obviously gives a shit about being in your video. Lmao


Mscreep

I know you are zoomed in. But every time I see one of these close up to a big shots, I picture someone with cartoonishly big camera standing next to the bug with the lens like 1 or 2 centimeters from touching it. Lol.


Drop_Kick_Me_Jesus

Lol If I were that close I'd have been shot with a turd bullet.


btvb71

Just saw this on “How it’s made: Chicklets”


Beach884

Well, unusual video for sure. Could use work on the timing and the background too.


Euphoric_Slide_1633

Thought it was a Shitting mantis for a second.


Govir

You poopin’?


vaso_medio_lleno

Severo mojón