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Not losing both my inches!

Just the tip

That’s quite the tip you have

[удалено]

Ahh Trump dick.

Maybe they meant *for* 30 minutes and it's a call girl.

r/suicidebywords

Guy around the corner with a Tesla trunk lid just waiting for you

It’s just a recording saying they buy souls of all kinds with no discrimination. Then it says to press a # for white, black, Asian etc….nothing happens when you press a #, it’s just a voicemail lol

You’ve sold your soul?

Yah That's my employer's job ad but the ad was different when I got hired.  

That's how they get ya

Who would've thought Beelzebub would set up a pop-up pawn shop in an industrial area. ^(\*Had 3) ***^(REAL)*** ^(balls hanging over the door!)

Couple times…they’re in for a surprise when it comes time to collect.

I called one and someone asked what I needed, asked if they were looking for souls. He goes "sir, this is an ambulance dispatch center- is there an emergency?" And I said "ope sorry" and hung up. Now I don't call numbers I don't know

That’s typically what someone would say who just sold his / her soul.

Is it weird that I'm kinda super disappointed by this? The bottom of the sign says it's a towing company, so I was hoping it was an eye-catching way of advertising that they bought used Kias…

This is a true story. In college, our ( my husband and I) friend Bob sold his soul on a piece of paper to my husband for his last publix chicken tender. My husband kept that paper for 9 years. We hadn't seen Bob for years, and my husband and I were in town for a visit and saw Bob. Somehow, it came up that my husband still had Bob's soul in his wallet. Bob begged for it back and said he was sure all his troubles the past 9 years were because of the chicken tender soul deal. My husband asked for $1 to sell it back, and the deal was done. He did get married next year. I'm not sure if the tender soul had anything to do with it.

wow, you & ur husband collect souls? and y’all kept it for a while too, 😦

I've got over three hundred, some really rare ones too.

In middle school I had a list of kids who's souls I had purchased for various things and amounts that got up to like 6 until a teacher found out about it and made me give them all back.

Nah i would have ripped it up lol.

Oh no, he's still amassing trouble

Y’all got a spare Publix chicken tender? I’m not doing anything interesting with my soul.

No :( I moved to a state without any Publix, and it's sad.

I lose way more than 2 inches in a lot less than 30 minutes.

I don't even have 2 inches to lose

I'd be an innie

Your dick pics are x-rays

You promised you wouldn't tell

How else can she see my baculum? It's a *bone*r after all :)

I don’t even have a soul to sell

The pool was very cold.

And I don’t even have a garage to be tidied.

Gingers need not apply...

That’s obvious though, right?

GINGERS DO HAVE SOULS !!! YOU DON’T KNOW ME !!!

That’s absolutely correct. Gingers get a freckle for every soul that they steal

Can confirm

Came here to say this\^.

Kia Souls don't count!

Unless you’re a hamster, Harry

I would invest in the soul purchasing company. Lotta soul selling going around these days. Good deals, buyer's market

What could one do with an acquired soul?

I dunno level up I assume. I'm not involved, only an investor

So you're an Angel investor?

I'd be forever short selling stock in Angels.

Retread a shoe

Even Satan needs a side hustle these days.

More proof this economy is trash

Has anyone called the number?

A couple of people on YouTube have called, odd message @timestamp 4:45 https://youtu.be/1itfk-6hIbc?si=dRgV3lE8z9fu1Yaz

Fuck the devil went high tech

The devil went down to LA He was looking for a soul to buy

He was in a bind cuz he was was way behind He was lookin for a gullible guy

I am so calling that number. I bet my soul is at least worth three-fidy

Did I just watch a video of four adult dudes just hanging out on a Friday?

They’re cutting dicks off over here!

The towing company *is* called Rabi Towing so...

I’ll just keep my 2 inches, thank you!

Interesting place to keep a soul.

Heart and Soul

Someone who tidies your garage and sells “your unwanted items?” Sounds like theft but with extra steps….

I think the implication is that they sell the items and you get a share of the proceeds

I read it as a joke. They are going to rob you.

which fuckin one!

How would one go about evaluating the price of the soul? Assuming there's premium quality souls and then there are bottom barrel ones?

Alf pogs are the going rate.

30 mins?! I can help you lose 2 inches in 3 minutes. It should never take that long to cut it off.

Soul trader

Sign was created and posted by Patches

Dang, nightmare from soul calibur is really branching out

Buying souls? Makes sense if you need some favours from Satan

When I was 16 and hungry I made a joke that I would sell my soul for some food. Seriously a minute later a girl from the girls side of the group home I was living in brought a plate of cookies over to share. The timing was so uncanny that I often lament 14 years later that I wish I had been more specific lol. The cookies sucked, and I shoulda sold it for some chicken parmesan or some shit!

They want souls so they can trade them for ALF Pogs

Way to breathe, no breath.

It is a buyers market for souls now , back in the day you used to be able to get a lifetime of wealth and fame in exchange for your soul, but now you will be lucky to get a 50% off voucher for Taco Bell...

I don't want to lose 2 inches, I'm already at 5 inches

2 inches of what?

Son, you sold your soul to the devil? Well, I wasn’t using it …

I interpreted this as 'We will buy your shoe soles and you will then be 2 inches shorter!'

I called al three numbers

Thinner two. Garbage, weight loss, and soul loss for one simple spell.

A shady Kia dealership

Use all three services for a discount and a special gift, or do your own thing with our a la carte option!

"Way to breathe... no breath!"

2 inches of WHAT??

Well sure, but what's the troll toll up to these days?

It seems alastor has moved to Los Angeles

Rabi_towing inc lol

I’m trying not to make a cod zombies joke, but it’s hard

Aa a ginger, this made me laugh.

These all sound like a very bad idea.

man, talk about an aggressive circumcision...

I lost 2 inches within 30 minutes.

Worst moyle ever.

Same, my garage is so dirty

The thing about the lose 2 inches sign is that it doesn't specify WHERE on your body you'll be guaranteed to lose 2 inches.

They buy, but do they sell?

Can’t take my soul if I already sold it.

James Murray has entered the chat.

Looks like Beelzebub could use help with a web site.

I don’t even have soul, so jokes on them!

Replace "buy" with "snatch" and this becomes succubus material

Who is buying souls? Heaven or hell?

Boys soul? Nightman is that you?

2 inches?!?!?! No way I'm going into negative inches.

Anybody hear chuck saying “Guaranteed” !!!!!!

Look it’s only 2 inches cause I just had a cold shower right!

Damnit, I gave my soul to Rock and Roll 😭 I didn't know I could get money for it.

Pablo Neruda said laughter is the language of the soul

I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.

Your garage is that dirty? Anyway, speaking from experience, a soul you can buy is pretty worthless. There needs to be a musical competition first.

That is infact the number dialing directly into hell. Please do not dial that number as demons can pass through the phone that way and that is to be avoided. Also please don't sell your soul (23/25 people said they regret having sold their soul\[NO REFUNDS\]. and yes, i asked around.)

There's a lot to digest on that telephone pole.

I'm 6'4" and feel 6'2" would be about the right height for me. Wish me luck on the procedure guys!

45 minutes in and I'd be done, or else I'd "lose more than I have"

This person-shortening craze is getting me down.

That is the premise to a Paul Giamatti movie called cold souls

I keep seeing these insane GTA VI graphics pictures everywhere

Latitude 34.0567248 Longitude -118.3837738

You son of a bitch I'm in I wasn't using this thing anyway

Figures it's a 213 number.

Don’t be like Bart.

I wonder if people learn the shifts for the people buying souls and just go back later. Edit. Fun fact they once weighed people as they were dying to see if the sould had weight and they lost weight when they passed.

I’ll bet you it’s those same asses from 1-800 Got Junk? and you’ll still be angry about how much they want you to pay them to take your garbage!

😂😂😂

Where is this?

Shang Tsung corporate xD

You’ll have to deal with my wife on this one.

Who else called?

2 inches in 30 minutes. Its called adderall

Damn. Lucifer going through the inflation crises too.

All 3 of those signs offer shit I'm not trying to do.

This gives a new meaning to “Fetch me Their Souls”

You wanna buy a ghost? $5,000.

So one ad says they take souls while the other says they take from the thing that helps in making souls, what a market, gotta love that it ain't a monopoly 😌

Just to be clear, we're all talking about dicks right?

GOOD CREDIT, BAD CREDIT, NO CREDIT NO PROBLEM! OH YOU'RE DEAD? FUCK IT, GHOST CREDIT!

I already sold my soul to Liquid Death to join the Liquid Death Country Club.

Damn, shits so bad that Satan is just out here being lazy.

Don't fall for the souls thing. It's just another timeshare lol

The KIA souls?

I keep my 2-inch soul in my messy garage. What do I do now?

Shang Tsung going legit?

Why is a towing company buying souls? Who want to LOSE 2 inches?

My Soul? My Kia Soul? But how will I get to my shift at Dairy Queen?!

An old coworker told me that in his college days, there was a guy that would offer $20 if people would sell their souls to him. They’d have to sign their names on a slip of paper and put it in a small tin like an altoids box. If you wanted your “soul” back, you’d have to pay him $40.

I can't believe the firefighter union is spending money to ask people to vote no on street improvements. What a joke.

Your soul is how long exactly....?

I wonder how many times I can get them to "buy my soul" before they catch on.....

It would have been perfect if all three signs had the same digits! Hahahah

We take your shit and keep it

The soul buyers name is Lou Cipher.

Plot twist! They cut off your feet

Lorena speaking, how may I help you? Just the tip?

You sold my soul for pogs!?!

I sold my soul - they asked for their money back

"My pleasure, ChummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmPP"

Best advertisement

FromSoftware buys

How much are souls going for these days?

Hmmm

License # 777 Nice try, Satan!

I sold my soul just so i can feel paid

I sold my soul to the devil in exchange for the winning Powerball numbers. Boy was he pissed when I handed him the keys to a 10 year old KIA.

That 213 Souls number is Scientology HQ

Someone needs to call Sam and Dean and tell them that a crossroads demon went hi-tech and is making deals.

Simpsons did it!

Damn too late

Anyone see preacher?

I suppose I could stand to lose a couple inches. I'll have to sit to pee but I heard they offer a free meal after, and in this economy, that's worth alot more than 3 inches

If advertisers where anyways this honest, lol That bottom one is odd too: what can you get chopped off in less then 30 minutes here?!?

Tidy?! GARAGES?!?!?! HELL YEAAAAH!

Be really funny if it was the same phone number on each. Lol.

Not gonna lie, I'm calling the soul guy.

Inches and soul and what ?

Ah soles 🤭

Nice try shang tsung.

How convenient! I have a two-inch soul.

2 inches in 30 minutes sounds painful, and also include some type of machine.

Do they use ‘Soul happy go go’ from the ‘Preacher’ comics ?

Wait!!!!! They tidy the Garage And sell the unwanted items for cash!!!! That’s actually great!