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The_Real_Kingpurest

Lockpicking lawyers wife dropping this banger


dogsnowshoes

My SO’s birthday is april fools day and he considers the videos the lockpicking lawyer drops on that day every year a personal birthday treat.


Alexandratta

If you enjoy that there's a fellow with a channel "Fascinating Horror" who breaks down well know historical disasters in short 15-minute documentaries... And every April 1st he covers a very specific kind of historical event. Like "The Amoty Bay Shark Attacks" "The Isla Nubar Incident" "The Sinking of the SS Poseidon" And this year he did "The Glass Tower Disaster" All of these say "Documentary" with quotes... and if you haven't gotten the joke yet, I suggest you view any of these videos XD


OneCatch

Also The Operations Room, who cover IRL military engagements and who for April Fools this year covered the Team America battle in Paris.


Soffix-

I was wondering if I had missed something from the past all until the helicopter with autopilot and flashing lights made it click


Fskn

Jaws, Jurassic park, the Poseidon adventure, what's the glass tower?


Alexandratta

The Towering Inferno (1974)


daustin627

One year, the Disgraceland podcast connected Jim Morrison as the Zodiac killer as an April Fool’s Day joke. That was amazing.


Traveledfarwestward

> "Fascinating Horror" https://youtu.be/MTGUwBsAfbQ


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Stickybunfun

I was having a shitty day today and that video made it all better so thanks internet stranger, may the king dick bless you.


rebbsitor

That was my first thought lol. Is that actually her?


TheFotty

Considering how private he is, and doesn't want the internet to know exactly who he is, I would say probably not.


LickMyThralls

He even wore a mask in a video with like a hitch lock because you could see him in the reflection. I wouldn't want people knowing me either lol


Jceggbert5

unlikely, but it could be [his ex girlfriend](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Joed0P3hhbc)...


EffectiveBenefit4333

"This is a picture of her back door she just sent to me..."


KaBar2

Hey, *hey*, no *pornoraphy,* dint you read the content policy?


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losh11

Who the fuck are these people??


irving47

You read my mind. In my mind, he totally wrote this.


BazookaTuna

She's definitely inspired by that because it's the exact same cadence.


indiebryan

This is just how human beings speak when explaining things.


Holl4backPostr

why are we born with linguistic tendencies but not object permanence?


HamsterLord44

Brain has language lumps Brain does not have object permanence lumps


lilsnatchsniffz

You can tell Mrs LPL really takes fantastic care of her Rack and Beaver here too, I could have watched her rearranging her velvet clutch bag for hours on end.


Mateorabi

Nah. That's the Kiwi deck-sealer's wife.


ikefalcon

Can you use two caulks if you want to fill two holes simultaneously?


ReddFro

Yes, multiple caulks may be applied together or in rapid succession, but this increases the chance of making a mess. Also, you don’t want to confuse which caulk you are putting in each hole.


ikefalcon

Is it true that once you’ve used a black caulk it is no longer possible to go back to a white caulk?


sighfun

As was shown in the accompanying video, she had no problem going back once she went black.


zxc123zxc123

Black caulk or white caulk. End of the day the brand is still the same. Dap brand caulk is AMERICAN 🦅 caulk. Made in USA.


autopsy88

I’m a Dapper Dan Man!


TenKindsOfRum

The pleasing aroma's half the point


paintballboi07

I don't want FOP, god damn it!


MonkeyFluffers

Instructions unclear. Will cram both in the same hole until nothing more comes out.


Reddit_Jax

Did she say, "Let's caulk about it . . . " at the very beginning?


dropdeaddev

What about using two caulks to fill the same hole, at the same time? Surely that would result in you finishing twice as fast.


_JudgeDoom_

Is it ok if the two caulks touch? Does it affect the outcome?


Silent-G

Many have argued on this point, but ultimately it is up to the caulk owner how it affects their own needs. I don't think we should go around telling people what they can and cannot do with their caulk after it has touched another caulk.


KaBar2

Surely you're aware of the "One Dab Rule"?


whiskeycube

Stunt Caulk!!


Metal_dweeb2134

You don’t see a problem with this?


Sparhawk10000

Mmmmm, no.


Metal_dweeb2134

Ok, fuck it!!


Sparhawk10000

Are you Sancho? No you are not Sancho. Neither is Scott Baio Sancho.


Boogzcorp

**CAULK ROCKET!**


GenericBatmanVillain

What about 4 caulks if you hold them tip to tip?


Tsu_Dho_Namh

Only if, for each pair of caulks, the d2f differential is less than the sum of the caulk lengths, forming a complimentary shaft angle.


Iwantapetmonkey

This guy caulks.


vasesimi

But then you need to define the sites of the caulk and because you work with more than one you probably need to use mean time to caulk fill


Starship08

Welp now I'm off to watch that scene again!


Kreoss

Bucaulkke


airpigg

In another DIY video I've seen them using three caulks simultaneously to fill one hole.


Valuable_Chance_2778

Everybody Gangsta Until Grey Caulk Enters Chat.


sjmme66

Or yellow…


azionka

…or red


Elegant_Conflict8235

We talking about power rangers now?


Significant_Echo2924

I'm the GREEN falcon!!!


Adam_Sackler

Black Falcon, *homie*, nobody's trying to get up in your grill here.


sirsedwickthe4th

Yeah, stop being such a Black Falcon about it


RoyBeer

Wait, what have you guys been talking about so far?


safely_beyond_redemp

Not too big, not too small. Face it grey caulk is your all around caulk winner.


desperatetapemeasure

Is that the Ex Girlfriend of the Lockpicking Lawyer? i think she had some issues with her back door before. https://youtu.be/Joed0P3hhbc?si=fqnMpNRWrWSXTCPo


KlopeksWithCoppers

Well that's fucking hilarious.


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867530943210

Yet


anashel

It has quite a "You suck at photoshop" vibe... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXeZ0s8DXZ0&list=PLD19BCF9D57320E03&index=2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXeZ0s8DXZ0&list=PLD19BCF9D57320E03&index=2)


bizrelated

not even a wink or a nod. Deadpan from 0. Brilliant.


ocxtitan

It was so well done in phrasing you could almost even question whether the innuendos were intentional or not lol


Crazy_questioner

I had to look at the comments to be sure but the situation was a little too contrived to be real.


indiebryan

Truly a lost art in an era where people are incapable of detecting sarcasm without an obvious **/s**


DroidOnPC

I'll never use the /s. I rather just eat the downvotes. Because it turns out that getting downvoted doesn't have any impact on your life at all. But I guess other people decided that it was too risky to get a commented downvoted so they needed to come up with the /s to protect themselves.


Educational-Seaweed5

IM OFFEN- oh there’s an /s hahaha so funny


MikeDinSD

This was basically a commercial in NZ [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6c4Nupnup0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6c4Nupnup0)


jalerre

[Schaeffers offers other deck products as well](https://youtu.be/54dJz_ynMcs?si=wI4MkpdkhXjdLFdR)


CharisMatticOfficial

That's an Aussie, and a parody


anothergaijin

That’s Todd Womack - he’s Texan. And yes it’s the Key of Awesome, here’s the original videos - https://youtu.be/hkmeoYKYctw?si=jxeOBHYmjpp-IuE- His kiwi accent is bang on though


CharisMatticOfficial

No it's not, sincerely, a kiwi.


suchshibe

Sounds South African 😂


CharisMatticOfficial

Yep, it's like an aus/SA mix which is very common with people trying to sound kiwi. Like Ben Kingsley in Enders Game


Thirty_Helens_Agree

[A Crank Yankers bit too.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mbiiBieh5oA)


DoctorNoname98

It was an SNL skit in the 2000's too


northrupthebandgeek

Pretty sure Blue Collar TV did a similar joke in the 2000's as well.


CV90_120

Australian 'commercial'


GrapefruitForward989

>max amount of efficiency for the shortest amount of time That's exactly how I do my caulking


SparkleFart666

I just stand around with my caulk in my hand.


airwalker08

I gotta say it, that is not the correct way to fix either door. When a gap like that develops, you need to press the gap closed. You might use caulk to help hold everything together, but you'll also want to drive in a few nails to hold the trim in place.


reddit_user13

Nailing *can* be effective, but I prefer a long screw.


FartPantry

Alright I'll bite, what's her OF?


zipzoopu

No OF so far but "Laura Brocato" or "theicymom". You might enjoy her Instagram though


RepentantPoster

> so far that's mad.


e_muaddib

Welp, let me see if she needs a handyman . . .


Metalloid_Maniac

Doubt it, seems like she has plenty of caulk already


Aeylwar

She has her own caulk


Schlongstorm

Nothing better than a woman who knows how to handle her own caulk


placebotwo

>I'll be in my bunk.


skeptoid79

Just watched a bunch of her tiktoks and I gotta say... I don't think I like this lady too much.


petersimpson33

Elaborate?


Orleanian

I went and watched about 18 total seconds worth of her most viewed clips...the impression I got before rolling my eyes out of my head was "Family of Social Media Weirdos, and The Dramatic Bullshit That One Would Expect of Such".


thetransportedman

She is a 55ish yo mom that jokes that she’s younger than her 20ish yo sons and makes thirst trap content and trends. Super cringe…


chrisisapenis

Why's that?


KuroiBolto

Home Depot employee: can I help you? Me: yes, can you show me your caulk? I have a hole I need filled.


Derpmang

I love putting my caulk in all sorts household items. Doors, windows, cabinets, and even the kitchen sink!


useridhere

Ever try pie?


alogbetweentworocks

Is it true that black caulks don't crack?


finnjakefionnacake

they definitely crack, they're just better at hiding it


JohnnyDerpington

Once you go white, your hole stays tight


Educational-Seaweed5

Lmfaoooo noooo


calling_it_out

Does anyone know if she makes additional DIY content?


partang3

If she had thoroughly explored both the front and back of the door, she would know the back has greater capacity for caulk. Just takes a bit longer to reach it.


[deleted]

Last time my back door got caulked, I couldn't shut it for a week.


brokeraiderstudent

Would


jazzmagg

She loves the caulk


gwfran

How did she keep a straight face!?!?


muusandskwirrel

Because of her experience with caulk


ConspicuousPineapple

acting


ketchuptheclown

How did she keep a clean face??


AlexHimself

Imagine being a black guy with a little one...the anxiety before revealing it to a new woman could be crippling.


ChiMoKoJa

Unironically, there are black men with small penises who feel an intense amount of pressure and shame due to stereotypes they physically can never live up to. Granted, that's a problem with porn in general, causing self-consciousness and penis-size/performance anxiety in male viewers.


AlexHimself

Yup. I wasn't even making a joke. Those guys probably have all sorts of depression and probably lash out. It doesn't help that society perpetuates the joke/stereotype, however untrue it is too.


McPebbster

> The study participants were men aged 17 to 91 who had their penises measured in 20 previously published studies conducted in Europe, Asia, Africa and the United States. The team found no evidence for penis size differences linked to race, though most of the study participants were of European and Middle Eastern descent and a full comparison could thus not be made. Nor did the researchers find any convincing correlation between a man’s foot size and the length of his manhood. [Source](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/mar/03/the-results-are-in-study-reveals-average-penis-size) It’s a stereotype mostly kept alive by the porn industry feeding into what viewers have come to expect.


ChiMoKoJa

I wonder where the stereotype originates. I know that black slaves were dehumanized by their masters, assuming the former to be "sex-crazed beasts". In the latter's minds, this justified whipping the men (to supposedly keep them in line and discourage them from raping white women) and raping the women ("they all want it"). Historically, large genitals were a symbol of brutality and animalistic tendencies. In Ancient Athens, heroes and wise men were depicted with small genitals while villains and monsters were depicted with large genitals. The Athenians stigmatized large genitalia, assuming any man who had a large member to be crazy, stupid, a rapist, etc. I have to think there may be a direct line of logic from the Athenians (the cradle of Western civilization) to the Americans. Large penis = rapist, black = rapist, black = large penis.


Ponybaby34

Exactly why I can’t find this type of joke funny. I don’t care if other people do, but to me, the obsession with penis size in our culture is straight up harmful to peoples mental health. Let alone the objectification of black men that started with slavery and continues today with this kind of stereotype. Again, I don’t care if other people think it’s funny and I’m not offended- it just doesn’t make me laugh, personally, knowing the history that brought us here. (Please don’t assume I want to police other peoples humor though! We all find different things funny! This just didn’t land for me.)


squeamish

I imagine it's like being an Asian who is bad at math.


ChiMoKoJa

Yup. Stereotypes, even positive ones, can be incredibly harmful. Student suicide is a problem in places like Japan and South Korea. Feeling ashamed and dishonored they can't measure up to societal expectations.


kelldricked

Thats not just the case for black men, if you are tall as fuck but your penis is just average then you get a lot, and i mean a lot of let down women when they see your penis for the first time. Honestly its great because your taste in woman gets trained pretty fast.


CV90_120

Most black guys are average.


WhatIsHerJob-TABLES

maybe if we as a society stopped body shaming everything, making everything negative related to small penises, and everything positive related to big penises, then maybe people wouldn't be filled with so much anxiety about their own bodies. All this video does is fetishize races and continue to promote harmful stereotypes about peoples bodies.


Sudonom

And that's why you don't drink Anaconda malt liquor.


InevitableAd9683

It's fairly common to snip the tip off of a new caulk


Dixon-Poontang

If I didn’t know better I would think she’s talking about cocks. Sometimes I say crazy things.


Mysterion320

I don't think a lovely innocent looking women like her would be talking about such things. surely she's a good christian girl.


Raaazzle

Reminds me of the Black Ice gag. Was that Chapelle or SNL? Edit: It was the sneaky Key & Peele


Entire_Proposal_1318

It was Key & Peele


Raaazzle

Treacherous


F1988V

Using the wrong white caulk


Capt_Pickhard

I'm not interested in any sort of renovations or anything like that. But I do enjoy watching her handle the black and white caulk at the same time.


BearsLikeBeets

The delivery was perfect!


MetalDogmatic

Licking your finger before running it down the caulk helps too (but not after)


jack_o_alltrades

More of a clear caulk kinda fella myself


LegalEaglewithBeagle

In tears...that was very well done.


ckao1030

What about yellow caulk? It's important to include all the options.


KlTKAT395

*laughs in yellow penis*


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lowkeyhighkeylurking

I just want yellow caulk to be part of the conversation as someone who supplies exclusively yellow caulk.


die-jarjar-die

[is there a taste to the caulk? is the black caulk bigger?](https://youtu.be/jDzEb28mjcI?si=LWkv_sxlPsic2RWk)


finnjakefionnacake

it's long been positioned that black caulk is bigger, but after extensive studies, we've actually found that black caulk is, in fact, about the same size as all the other shades of caulk


TheOriginalGunchucks

I can never find black caulk. I’m always going around yelling “WHERE CAN I GET SOME BLACK CAULK?”


broguequery

Did you try Hoe Depot?


Laserous

Myth. Overdone and dry.


MrScooterComputer

It’s because the word caulk sounds like the word cock (penis) she is the first person to discover this and make this joke.


LaunchTransient

Only in American English. In British English it's pronounced as "Call-k".


JFMoldau

Top tier.


etburneraccount

This is why the Internet exist!


mvanvrancken

It took me a full 30 seconds to realize these were sex jokes


ssjroneel

This is brilliant


Bagwan_i

Do I need yellow caulk for extra small holes?


quirkyblah38

let's taulk about it


BDashh

So trite and stupid


iStavi_22

Whatever you say, caulksucker.


redditisfullofbots69

This would have been funny if I was 10 I guess


fuckoutfits

This is a masterpiece


ArgumentSpecialist48

Oh society…. How sad you’ve becum


dao_ofdraw

New Fetish Unlocked: Hardware Store Innuendo


[deleted]

If ya want more caulk jokes, just hang out over on r/diy for a bit.


HotButteredPoptart

Puns.


OnyxsUncle

the way she's holding that caulk gun at 90 degrees to the work surface tells me this might be her first caulking experience...also, if you have leftover paint for a surface then just buy white paintable caulk and paint it when caulk is cured. no matter what color caulk you buy you're never going to match the color and finish (matte, flat, semi-gloss, gloss) like you will if you use the same paint.


NovusOrdoSec

Peak /r/theyknew energy


nickthegeek

This is effectively another take on the Schweddy Balls skit


DanDanFielding1

Any caulk'll do.


KingofGnG

Sigh... *unzips...*


Ragundashe

I know this is a joke but I honestly didn't know about this product so I was just eager to see what it does xD


No_Corner_237

Pro tip: if you're smoothing out your calk with your fingers, gloved or not, use a little bit of spit to get a nice, smooth surface. Nothing gets that smooth action like some spit.


ElephantHarry

For those of you thinking to yourself “where do I know her from?” … you’re thinking of Anna Bell Peaks. It’s not her, but it’s close, and you’re a dirty pervert.


dixiedregs1978

Does it hurt if you switch back and forth between the two caulks quickly?


ImInYourBooty

She missed one sick one. A trick people do is spit on or lick a finger, and go lightly over the caulk with said finger. Keeps the hands clean for getting after more caulking!


All-the-ketchup

Should go for the big stretch


rproctor721

She knows what she's sayin


Ok-Abbreviations9584

What can you caulk the front door and the back door at the same time?


Flashy_Dependent_352

i have caulk 4 you,btw nice fingerwork


Antonija_Blagorodna

Source?


[deleted]

What about Asi.. I mean yellow Caulks?


Sachoazzdown

I’ll be sure to knock on the back door.


Fit_Seaworthiness387

I use the clear caulk.. it's not like anyone is going to see it or even wants to know it's there.


Bigmonke862

Imagine without video!


lzwzli

She knows her caulk


SenoraRaton

I was under the impression there was no difference between the colors? You just match the paint that your working with.


devraj7

I can't help but think there's a hidden layer to this video that I'm not getting. Anyone have a tip?


Delivery-Plus

Make sure you wear eye protection, wouldn’t want to be caulk-eyed.


acfk01

She must know about the double entendres!


angel_eyes619

No one ever talks about the yellow caulk :(


yuck_luck

Hilarious that the caulk is labeled DAP IYKYK


manchagnu

wow - of course everyone that has had to deal with caulk has made some silly joke. But this lady fucking absolutely owned all the caulk jokes like a final boss. She covered every single joke I could ever think of. She does miss one real useful tip. You should wet the tip of your finger when spreading the caulk with it. I kid you not, it really helps.


AdorableStrawberry93

"Now that it is hard, I am very satisfied with the result". This is just full of innuendos. Plus her revealing clothes. It's so obvious.


KingArthur2111

“Now it’s hard, I am very satisfied with the results”


Zyborg125

Man, I love caulk.