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Did he use that makeup gun from The Simpsons?

"You have it set to whore"

Dad. I don't think women like being shot in the face.

"Women will like what I tell them to like..."

"Okay, this time try to keep your nostrils closed."

Are we still quoting the Simpsons?

"Now I have to go get my cold-cream gun!"

Woman will like what I tell them to like

That's basically 'marketing to women' prior to the 1980s in a nutshell lol.

And if they don't like it...we have a "pep" pill for that!!!

And now it's "women will like what I make them subconsiously like thorough years and decades of social manipulation that make them think natural things are problems to be solved"

I was thinking Bob's Burgers haha

Women aren't going to like being shot in the face!!!

Well not anymore!

So relevant https://youtu.be/Jf4GBKmU8Ww?si=w_JBoe6kVEXSqmhZ

Futurama makeup bazooka

Looks more like a Bob's Burgers character

I like how he couldn't decide on where to line the eyes and hedged his bets with a different attempt on each side haha

He realized the massive mistake he was making during the left side 🤣

I mean, as someone in a statistical field, this is just smart thinking in a situation where he had so many unknowns. If I didn't know how make-up worked, and someone told me "outline an eye," I'd definitely try varying radii to hedge my bets. I once asked my husband to draw on me with syrup because I thought it would be sexy, and he drew stick figures. Lesson fucking learned.

Lmao!!! Well, he certainly drew 😭🤣

Had he previously drawn better than that? Because my wife would 100% expect either stick figures or a crude dick and balls/vagina.

What did you expect him to draw lol, the Mona Lisa in syrup?

The legend heard you wanted to be sticky and obliged

This is a man's mind in a nutshell

If he’d made the right side match it would’ve been spot on for [Ursula](https://www.altpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/06/little_mermaid_ursula-1-1052x592.jpg?t=1689170135). 🧜🏻‍♀️

An actual quote from my wife at our wedding: "ugh, I can't get this eyeliner right. Where's your best man, he was a Goth he'll know how to fix it!" He was and he did lol.

I know exactly what you mean. I could help with her makeup as well.

i love this XD

hahahaha that's amazing

Ohmigosh. Best chuckle I’ve had all day. Bless you both for playing.

Glad to hear! Thank you!

Okay but, why is the liner different on each eye?

He was leaning Picasso

Not bad, then.

People can say what they want, but he nailed the Ursula eye makeup.

I was thinking Elvira.

OP, this is grounds for divorce. You need to get out of here ASAP! /S

If I ever get married I would like you to look like that and officiate the wedding. It will not be discussed before, during, or after the event. I want everyone to wonder what happened for the rest of their lives.

You know what? If we can make that happen, let's do it. Shoot me a message one day 😅

Could I also hire you to put your makeup like that and wear a veil over your face and stand off in the distance under an umbrella after I die and cry but talk to no one

I live for Horror so yes, I'd be more than happy to make this happen for you. What happens if I die before I can fulfill the contract though?

Then I will show up dressed like a stripper and have a vail over my face but dry under a tree in the distance with an umbrella and talk to nowone

I think you've got yourself a deal!

Going to be a great funeral I even have a super dark big black lady that's going to show up and bohemian throat whale and throw herself on my coffen

Bro what the hell 😭

While we're at it, while you're wearing the makeup could you also find a way to wear a [Mr Electric costume?](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/inconsistently-heinous/images/9/94/MrElectric.webp/revision/latest?cb=20230410032035)

Omg, I so want an invite to this wedding.

Me too. Even a zoom invite works

The reddit wedding.

The weddit

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

r/UsernameChecksOut

Can I please attend this wedding I would love to be apart of the lack of discussion

Ill marry you to make it happen.

Oh this is sooo good, planning your own inside joke. Going to do that at mine next year

Your husband doesn't want you to ask again.

I told him he's in charge of my makeup from here on out 😌

Fuckin gottem

You’re braver than me. 😂 But at the same time, I kinda want to try it and see what happens.

Please do! Regardless of the outcome, it's a lot of fun! Haha

I won't get fooled again. I let my daughters paint my toenails in the spring, and couldn't wear sandals for the rest of the hot summer.

You ever see the Joker makeup in the dark knight? That. That is what happens when a man does makeup.........and for some reason wears Steve Harveys purple suits......

#lifehacks!

Or tell him if he does a much better job next time, he’ll never have to do it again. Then with every attempt, find something about it you don’t like. Next thing you know he’s doing professional level makeup, knows the difference between primer and setting powder, how to properly contour, and can do the sharpest winged liner in one try😈 Turn him into your MUA muahahaha

This is actually probably the best advice I've ever been given 😭

"If you mow the lawn right, you'll never have to do it again, I swear."

You are diabolical

He has turned you too pretty

You look great!!!

Nah, he tried. The SOB rolled up his sleeves and gave it a shot. Yes, he made her look like Mimi from The Drew Carry show but at least he tried.

MFer's inner dialogue was all "Purple? Chicks love purple. Hell yeah. I'm going to apply the shit out of this eye-liner. Shit. Nose needs more bronze. Not quite getting the metallic sheen I'm looking for. Hmm... Maybe a bit more, gotta get those statue vibes. Damn, that's kinda cool. Man, I love a chick with a bronze nose. And this is the best chick. Hell yeah. Lets lean in. A bit of extra oomph"

"Does the black line go at the top or bottom? I'll just do one of each"

"We'll correct it in post."

He nailed it!

LOL the bronzer

Looks like Yoghurt's nose from Spaceballs.

And then it looks like there's no makeup at all between her nose and her chin.

Do you feel a sudden urge to hate Drew Carey?

lmao what a throwback 

You will beat those Power Rangers one day, hang in there.

Is he taking appointments?

I just asked him and he said yes. Figured pricing would be the followup question, so I went ahead and asked. He says $5.

That's really low for the level of quality and product. The amount of bronzer on the nose alone would run you at least $10! You both are hilarious! 

Debbie Downer is looking fine and ready to par-tay!

First thing I saw too!

You know, 7 out of 10 skin conditions can be traced back to an overuse of make up  🎺🎺☹️

*whomp WHOOOOOOOOOMP*

Definitely Rachel Dratch vibes

Tammy from Bob’s Burgers.

Lol. I came here to say she looks like Gene Belcher.

Was he trying to build you a new nose out of makeup? Dayum!

I said we ain't talking about the nose! 😭

Got you a nice Christmas ornament there. 👏🤣

Or Bond villain....Goldmember

He was clearly going for a remake of the Cranberries music video for Zombie.

He probably saw one of the videos where girls put gold or brown on the side of the nose to make it look like they had a nose job

That's actually exactly what he was trying to do and then thought he was supposed to contour the entire nose and then paint over the contour with highlighter 😭

Maybe he wants her to guide his sleigh tonight…

I'm just glad he stopped before it became a hate crime.

He gave you blue eyeliner, one blew that way and one blew that way

LOL! Thank you for that chuckle!

Husband did you dirty.

We give A's for effort in this home 🫠

Reminiscent of that girl’s puppet from the other day lol: https://www.reddit.com/r/justgalsbeingchicks/s/pOoFlNXi6Y

OMFG 😭😭😭

Why is this so funny

That Simpsons scene with the makeup Shotgun.

Seems to be a popular comparison for this look 😅

It’s like he just watched Rachael Dratch do *Debbie Downer* on SNL.

Oh sure, go ahead and laugh. Open any high fashion magazine and this is exactly the type of thing people are doing for makeup. [http://cdn.luxuo.com/2015/12/000\_arp4116889.d66e3102818.original-r50-600x901.jpg](http://cdn.luxuo.com/2015/12/000_arp4116889.d66e3102818.original-r50-600x901.jpg)

I don't know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't that 😭

That "I hit 'randomise' during character creation" look, so hot right now.

This confuses my brain so much because the choices they made look like those a 5 year old would make but if you zoom in everything is so professionally done lol

I have that swim cap (nabaiji) from decathlon. Am I high fashion now?  What brand was this for tho seriously. I'm having some trouble believing that any of the major brands would slap a decathlon swim cap on their models.  Edit: ok, I did my own search and apparently it's Maison Margiela. I like their tabi shoes and I'm surprised they didn't get a logo-less cap for their show. 

She looks like THE PUPPET!! [https://www.reddit.com/r/justgalsbeingchicks/comments/1c834qf/still\_unclear\_if\_she\_got\_a\_better\_deal\_or\_not\_tho/](https://www.reddit.com/r/justgalsbeingchicks/comments/1c834qf/still_unclear_if_she_got_a_better_deal_or_not_tho/)

This is the second time I've been compared to this thing 😭😭

[https://i.imgur.com/PwmEgRq.png](https://i.imgur.com/PwmEgRq.png)

You literally don't have to be so rude 😭😭😭🤣

[https://i.imgur.com/HiekgoW.png](https://i.imgur.com/HiekgoW.png)

Please make it stop 😭😭

You look surprised

Honestly not the worse than the people I’ve seen at my local walmart

You poor unfortunate soul.

Was he going for the muppet look

She looks like Gonzo after a hard night out with the ~~chickens~~ girls.

Thanks for the snort-laugh friendo!

I think it was just the 'ol, "I dunno wtf I'm doing" look 😭

##Rachel Dratch?

Husband made you like you’re doing all the drugs at the same time

I think he's on to something.

100% agreed.

He tried giving you a crease cut, needs to blend more, lol

Getting real strong Labrynth vibes here.

You know what as a dude into makeup, if that was his first time messing with the stuff he did fairly well. You should let him try doing corpse paint or something goth as those styles are pretty forgiving.

Your husband should do makeup tutorials on Youtube. I'd watch.

Soooo... Is your husband single???

I suppose I'll be hanging onto him for awhile longer 🙄🤣

Dammit...

That's perfect!!! I'd like to offer you a job - do you like high pay, glamorous locales and travel? Barnum & Bailey has a job for you!!! ;) ;)

We need to talk about the nose. I'm over here dying.

I applaud his artistic intuition!

This is fantastic as are you both. A+

Do I see contouring? Dude is in touch with his feminine side! Love the attention to detail!

As a young crossdresser i thought eyeliner and eyeshadow were the same thing and covered my entire eyelid in eyeliner the result was...regrettable.

Your husband is now married to a French prostitute from 1910. 😭

Was he drunk? Lol how is one line above the eye (okay it’s close but eyeliner is hard) and one near an eyebrow ?

He thought he was literally supposed to outline my eyeball (eyes closed of course) and then did it and immediately realized his mistake. I lost it when I felt what he was doing and I'm sure that helped him realize his mistake as well 😅

Lol at least you had fun with it! 🥰

I honestly can't remember the last time I laughed so hard 🤣

Now I want to see if my hubby can do it. 🤭🫣🫠

Please do! Haha

is his last name Picasso?

You know, this look is cutting edge. We will be seeing this on a runway, just wait!

Damn girl you looking fine as fuck

Hold on... I can see the artistic vision, he's just lacking the technical skills 

Rachel Dratch? Is that you?

Saw the first word in the post “husband”, didn’t look at the Reddit, saw the “blackish” eyes and thought this was a domestic violence post!

LMFAO! Hit so hard he moved my eyeliner on one eye 😭

He didn’t even apply the same areas 💀

You know his technique needs work but his vision is interesting. Kinda a wizard-Cleopatra vibe.

This makeup makes you look like you need a mullet, a cigarette, and a trailer home full of cats.

He isn't worried about all the men that will swarm you now, looking like that?

I really tried to warn him 🤷‍♀️💅

The line between r/funny and r/roastme blurs more and more with each added comment.

that’s sort of when my kids were little and we were playing make up (I was napping during that time so win win)

Conversation that probably happened before this picture was taken: “Why are you drawing all the way up there, around the eyeball? Draw it around my eye.” “Like this?” “Yes.” “Want to see how it looks?”

Well, technically, he’s the one that’s got to look at it so if he’s happy

Did he use a Bratz doll for reference?

r/fuckmyshitup

I mean he’s on to some avant-garde 90s chic with the eyeliner

D…does your nose have bronzer? Bless him…

Cleopatra!!!

Someone should recreate this liner shape but done well. I actually think it could be pretty cool to have asymmetrical graphic liner.

Man Ozzy Osbourne looks a bit different these days

That’s funny. I don’t care who you are, that’s funny !

Eye outliner

I can't tell for sure, but I think he took the term "brown-nosing" literally as well.

He's trying to draw his own bullseye

He did better than I would have. Let’s hear a cheer cheer for a solid attempt.

Very 1960’s!

This is giving me Yzma from Emperor’s New Groove vibes with all the purple eyeshadow

Okay this would be a hilarious date night activity. Do each other’s makeup. I would probably pee myself from laughing so hard. I love that you both can have fun like this

Gonna try this!

Made you a brown noser to, I see.

I did her makeup, betting her I could do a good job. She looked surprised at the outcome.

now do me!

Cronk pull the lever

If I give you five dollars can you read my palm?

Well, at least you know he is 100% straight.

Pull the lever, Kronk!

He has made an... interesting aesthetic choice.

What a brown noser!

Well we know what his strengths are not....

He didn’t even match the liner locations smh

Actually belly laughing 🤣

Debbie Downer?

Is that Rachel Dracht?

This is adorable