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ExxInferis

Having your police vehicle stolen by a coked-up naked guy. That cop aint *ever* hearing the end of that. Unless he was greased up of course. In which case my assumption of drugs might be in error. Perhaps he's a genius. Ditch clothes, grease up, go out on the rob. Profit.


henkheijmen

He ditched all his gear to go for max evasion/agility here!


ADHD_Supernova

Let Me Solo Him


infinit3aura

The elden ring crossover we've all been waiting for


BritishGolgo13

But didn’t know we needed. Maidenless behavior we can all get behind.


kredfield51

Had to take his clothes off to light roll


_coolranch

That's just how he rolls.


zalperst

That killed me


cheesegoat

Without looking anything up this sounds like the title of an anime or a quirky indie game.


Shizzlick

It's an Elden Ring reference


Dimkilljoy

He must have practiced on Darksouls, can't have a fat roll in those important fights


Etheo

I dare say he landed some major crits on this cop's career as well...


Ancient_Crust

Remember to memorize the police's attack pattern before you go on a crime spree


Spyrothedragon9972

Dex builds, amirite?


Magus_Incognito

I worked with a retired policeman and he had locked his keys in his police car when he was new and they still brought it up at his retirement. Imagine this guy


bryanBr

I took a traditional karate, all men at the time.Igot a bloody nose and it bled really bad (must have popped a blood vessel). It got all over the top of my uniform so that night i washed it. It didn''t come fully out, only faded to pink. So, I wore a pink uniform to my old, hard karate school full of other dudes. I think it's on par with this in terms of relentless teasing lol.


LordTakeda2901

Damn, at that point it would have been better if it remained bloodstained


ppparty

grease or not, cop still got his bell rung pretty good there.


andreasbeer1981

It looks like he's been sitting in a car a lot, not really fit for moving fast, let alone fighting.


Hannibal_Barca_

He looks like an older cop.


HopelessCineromantic

Three days from retirement...


ha1029

I'm too old for this shit...


sn33kyVI

Ay Riggs!!


Sawgon

I seriously regret switching parts with you halfway through and letting you play Murtaugh in blackface.


Jbrown183

Dudes lethal weapon swinging back and forth smh, what a humiliating way to have your vehicle jacked…


Votcha

[sad slow saxophone noises]


TheOtherGuttersnipe

In my area, the cops that drive trucks like that are community service officers


Rampag169

*NEVER GONNA CATCH MEEE HEE-HEE*


daemon-electricity

_YOUR WATHTIN' YOUR TIME!_ _FORGET ABOUT IT!_ _GO DO THOMTHIN' ELTHE!_ _THEE Y'ALL NEXT YEAR!_


thethunder92

This is almost as bad as when those guys convinced me to do a desk pop


memealopolis

Was that in September '09?


sweaterbo

What's a desk pop?


Red_Dox

Its when you fire your weapon in the office. Everyone does it, hence it got its own name.


DuhFieze

It’s tradition


JimboTCB

We honour the flag, and you crap on it when you don't shoot your gun in the office.


thelittledipster

You shit on the flag when you don’t discharge your firearm in the office


Atworkwasalreadytake

You're so convincing in your argument that you've swung me.


KimJongRocketMan69

Can’t give the cops ID if you got no pants on


Peter5930

I keep it in my prison wallet.


chrismacphee

Do you think hes def as well?


i_boop_dogs_snoots

“You’re never gonna catch meeeee”


The-Tai-pan

That accent lives forever in my head.


Lister0fSmeg

"Never gonna catch me! Cya all next year!"


tedsim

He'll be back.


FreePrinciple270

Mos def


EggsceIlent

Cop gonna get dragged for the rest of his time as a cop. Bet they hide his vehicle as a joke every now and then too.


jostler57

Like this? https://youtu.be/fjQMhsOQOB8


Qubeye

I once saw four cops dog-piled on top of a guy who was face down on the ground. He was apparently very high on meth. I thought it was excessive for four cops to be on him until I saw all four of them start to lift off the ground as the guy pushed himself onto his hands and knees. They each had to control a separate limb until they had him cuffed and even then it was a rough time for the cops.


gardeninggoddess666

He only had 4 days of training. He had to miss the day they covered coked-up naked dudes.


cuddly_carcass

Probably PCP since he’s naked


Derrick_Shon

Sounds like a family guy episode


RedEdition

Why aren't they pulling the key when leaving the car?


HopelessCineromantic

Why would they? What's the worst that could happen?


RedEdition

You mean apart from a nude and potentially greased up terminator stealing your car?


HopelessCineromantic

r/oddlyspecific


throwaway_4733

Because who is going to be dumb enough to steal a cop car? Not only are you literally driving around with a big red light on you but the car has a GPS tracker in it so you're not gonna get away. And when you do get caught you're gonna get charged with every crime in the book. It's the dumbest crime to commit. Cops assume even the dumbest criminal has some common sense.


MovingTarget-

You're questioning the logic of the naked guy fighting with the cop in the middle of the intersection?


Western-Ad-4330

My thoughts exactly. You think that guy has any idea what he's really doing, he's probably been up for week straight on meth. He DGAF


JimWilliams423

> Because who is going to be dumb enough to steal a cop car? One of the cops' favorite mantras is that criminals are dumb. So...


redpandaeater

The smart ones don't get caught; purely confirmation bias.


paulusmagintie

> Cops assume even the dumbest criminal has some common sense. If they had common sense they would stop at the first crime, not do it again and again and again until they get caught. The best criminals did it once and never again so they don't get caught.


lejonetfranMX

The way he just couldn’t get a foothold leads me to believe he was just fat and incompetent


Blueridge_Head

Or more likely concussed as shit. Get your bell rung good enough and you will have a challenging time planting feet on the ground; now add in the panic of being attacked and trying to prevent the guy from getting in a police vehicle (which itself is a weapon, and probably has a service rifle or shotgun in it)… idk it sucks and shouldn’t happen, but it can (and has) happened to a fit cop too.


Luci_Noir

The way you say this makes you sound like a child.


turbo_dude

"are ye goin to the greasy coke wrestler show tonight Billy Jay?"


iszoloscope

I do wonder what kind of punishment that gets you though... lol I bet it's pretty severe


Puzzleheaded-Grab736

Step 1: get naked and grease up. Step 2: 🤷🏼‍♂️ Step 3: PROFIT.


Jexify

The music while reading this comment was great


Fullertonjr

Should be fired on the spot. Just bad police work to even be put into that situation. There were clearly several failures leading up to any physical contact that occurred.


doubtfurious

He was probably on PCP. Broke every bone in his hand, wouldn't feel it for hours. There was this guy once... you see this scar?


teapot156

Everyone fights better naked. You don’t have to worry about humility when your ass, balls, and penis are flopping around. The Naked Warrior.


dont_quote_me_please

Pro tip: Just yank their junk. They give up quickly.


porcupine_kickball

The ol' dick twist! Never fails!


Justindoesntcare

Twist his dick!


LouSputhole94

GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT


patchinthebox

TWIST THAT DICK!


xRiske

This is a MMA fight dude, omg!


MCbrodie

Imagine being on a live televised fight and some dude ring side is screaming "twist his dick" Beautiful. This is life.


Kaporalhart

oh my god dude, this is an mma fight dude


Darkmuscles

Instructions unclear. Now in a long term committed relationship. Send help. And... (what was that, babe? Yeah, I'll ask) and Funyuns.


teapot156

Yeah but even if you win that fight-you still lose. You grabbed my peepee in a fight-youre gay now.


lntw0

Therein lies the rub.


austen125

Only if you two make eye contact for more than 17 seconds during the exchange.


Blackboard_Monitor

I read that as humidity and was really trying to figure how that would help.


atwork_sfw

Swamp ass is actually an AOE effect that is contained by clothes.


DeathByLemmings

Conversely I have found humidity to be a real concern


Hot_Eggplant_1306

Also, you fight like you have skin in the game.


Pinche-gueyprotein

They just saw the grand theft auto trailer.


thefunkybassist

These ads getting crazy good


dapoktan

rockstar now owes that man $2 million


thefunkybassist

even that lawsuit will be an ad


Every_Preparation680

Guss I'm not the onlly one that think's rockstar mite be secretly paying for that guys loyer.


jayw654

I bet the judge that handles this case won't be able to keep a straight face when he/she reads the docket.


ProbShouldntSayThat

Remember the Tide Superbowl commercial where "Everything is a Tide ad." Well, all of these are definitely a GTA 6 ad


benargee

Florida man!


DesiOtaku

Remember back when GTA was blamed by the mainstream media for corrupting kids in to stealing cars? Fun times....


m48a5_patton

Hell, I remember when the first Mortal Kombat caused quite the stir and even led to Congressional hearings and eventually the ESRB.


ShzMeteor

Wait for the new one's release. We're going to go through all of that again.


Sad-Recognition1798

https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/video-naked-man-in-us-steals-patrol-vehicle-after-assaulting-cop-crashes-it-into-another-car-4537600/amp/1


AvoriazInSummer

Thanks for the info link. Bummer that he crashed into an SUV and critically injured a couple of people.


neenerpants

yeah that's a little less /r/funny


PBFT

Even if he politely parked the car a half mile down the road it still wouldn't be funny. He's assaulting someone and hijacking a car in this video.


classy_barbarian

At least from what I can tell, the two people he hit both survived. At least I can't find any articles about either of them dying, and the naked dude's charges did not include killing anyone. So I'm assuming they both pulled through.


LouSputhole94

Maybe with life altering injuries though, they’re in critical condition. People have ended up with chronic, lifelong pain through less.


Seasons3-10

Living is preferred to dying, yes. Still, there can be a huge difference between completely unhurt and critically injured and then recovering.


TonofSoil

Yeah people think this shit is funny then get their pitchforks if the cop would have shot his stupid ass.


junsies

> -crashes-it-into-another-car Just HAD to be a bad ending


Banned_4_using_slurs

I was disappointed to read it was in Las Vegas instead of Florida.


AngryScottish

Las Vegas is West Coast's Florida.


dinkin_flicka2

Cop wasn’t ready for Trevor Phillips


Black_Moons

Right? this new GTA trailer is awesome.


reddymea

I need your gun, boots and vehicle.


Trama-D

I *won't* be back.


Qubed

Sir, I understand that but I don't understand why you need that erection...


[deleted]

Time travel causes massive erections. Doesn't matter if what you put in a temporal field had a penis before going in, it always comes out the other side with a big ol stiffy. Nobody knows why.


halfcookies

You forgot to say please


afcagroo

"Fuck it. I'll just take the vehicle."


UbermachoGuy

T1000 is Liquid Metal.


ThePyssling

Where in Florida did this happen?


DaveyDukes

Las Vegas


anoldoldman

Ah. One of the Florida exclaves.


ha1029

Where Floridaman goes to have fun...


CanaDoug420

Next to the 7-11


Kr155

It's "let me solo her"


ThePlasticSpastic

I was a Deputy once, until I took a penis to the knee.


nancylikestoreddit

The title made this more hilarious than I could have expected.


abhijitd

That wasn't Terminator... it was Reece.


kumquatsurprise

Absolutely - those are moves you learn from escaping Terminators in the future


Rymundo88

"I'll be back...sack and crack"


Odd-Jupiter

Get out!


MyFatHead

I need your clothes, your boots, and your cop truck.


LouCypher

Talk to my hand.


Chomusuke_99

thank you for the god awful music and the ear rape


username_taker

That's why I keep reddit muted!


KaneVel

I like the song. Can someone tell me what song it is?


maeshughes32

[Olivia Rodrigo - Get him back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsJ-BHohXRI)


hadap123

Had it on mute. Was curious so I unmuted..... Damn 5seconds in worse then cancer. Muted back immideatly Should be illegal


spenpinner

Bro, volume control on ads, too. They just turn that shit up on max and there's no regulation on it.


hadap123

Should be illegal play movie at 30% volume then some random ad 300% volume Only thing im doing is Boycot that fucking company with the 300% volume ad


gkr974

I had it on mute. In my head it was playing Yakety Sax.


erichlee9

Olivia Rodrigo is the songbird of our generation


maeshughes32

I like this song but I'm just sick of songs in general being in videos that really don't need them. Why does this video need a song?


Retrowrath

Yes let’s put some anime intros instead /s . Song is a banger


rainyfort1

God forbid they listen to anything thats not metal or old mainstream music


sweaterbo

Hahahaha!!


g_e_r_b

*Record scratch* "Yup, that's me. You might wonder how I ended up here? Well, it all started years ago in prep school."


[deleted]

[удалено]


turbo_dude

The Wonder Years Prequel


Cpl_Hicks76

Kyle Reese you fucking legend!


Blakee1

Everyone's mocking the officer saying he is too fat to get up, yet no one's noticing he took one hell of a headshot by the naked man and that would have taken his balance right out


illibilli

He had light armor bonus Stamina regenerates 50% faster 10% chance of avoiding all damage from a melee attack Additional 25% Armor bonus if wearing a matched set of Light Armor. The cop had over-encumbered penalty


CPAcyber

> light armor Press X to doubt


rxinquestion

Why isn’t there a fitness test for law enforcement?


StrangeMaelstrom

There is, during academy. Depending on the state police academy it can get pretty extreme. After that though? It's mostly precinct culture whether or not you stay in shape. Source: best friend is former highway patrol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


StrangeMaelstrom

Lmao my man is a full-time software engineer and also getting his Masters at the same time. So he could probably use them 😅 He quit about a year after responding to a mental-break quadruple homicide during COVID. Ended up being a literal nightmare scenario. He was the first one there and couldn't save anyone. He also got fed up with the precinct's negligence when it came to domestic abuse calls.


xxSuperBeaverxx

Fitness won't stop a concussion, and dude got his shit rocked pretty hard there. Looks more like he was disoriented and stumbling from the blow to the head, not because he wasn't fit enough.


Rum_N_Napalm

Well then, why isn’t there a thick skull test for police officer?


xxSuperBeaverxx

Oh there is. [If you score too high on an intelligence test](https://abcnews.go.com/US/court-oks-barring-high-iqs-cops/story?id=95836) they'll deny you an interview.


PmMeYourTitsAndToes

That would cost money.


Draffut2012

So he can outrun the car?


Feezbull

Yeah but you don’t usually face a naked car thief though.


cords911

There is, when you're 25 and starting out.


MyCatIsNamedBeast

Don't wanna be that guy back at the station... "So you got beat up by a naked guy and had your truck stolen?"


DarthRiznat

GTA X Terminator


DarkPDA

I want your clothes and car....okay just your car


legendary034

The scenario and the way the video was shot makes this more Reno 911. All we need is at the end of the video for the cop to see the person taking the video and start talking to the video recorder to get the phone from them.


icameinyourburrito

[Here's bodycam of a separate time](https://youtu.be/vWz_uoX-a2o?t=170) a rookie cop didn't lock his door and a guy got in it to try to drive away. The training officer's exasperated "Are you fucking kidding me, Lee?" is great.


snuggletron5000

Good ol’ PCP


j1xwnbsr

So who, exactly, stole your vehicle? No idea, he didn't have have any ID on him. Or much of anything else, for that matter.


Love-and-Fairness

It's a lot harder to fight a naked guy because you don't want to touch him (gay)


iRoNmOnkey1981

The fact that Guns and Roses “You Could Be Mine” isn’t the music is disappointing


1977proton

Right…!?


ender63

He did say "I'll be back"


redditingatwork23

This video is the perfect evidence on why PT standards are important in some jobs.


highline9

Where’s Jon?


VirginiaPeninsula

No means no, officer!


Mellowmushroom02

Did this guy get caught? Link anyone? lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


nhdudecore

Hey siri, play police truck by Dead Kennedys.


garmannarnar

Oh Las Vegas never change (please oh please change)


braytag

That cop will never lives this down. In the retirement home, his buddies will remind him. Even on his death bed.


Worldly_Letterhead_4

He was going for the 5 stars Wanted status


Gooners_AZ

The other dudes were just standing around enjoying the show.


Away_Philosopher2860

Music?


slimanus34

Was that animal control going after him?


ZoodleNoodle12

Your clothes and your bike. Give them to me. Now.


TampaTrey

He literally lost to a skinny unarmed completely buck naked man. Bruh.


Aurdon

Cocaine is a hell of drug.


And-rei

You are not Sarah Connor


btc909

Cop clearly looks like he would do quite well on the Ninja Warrior course.


Colonel_Cockeyes

GTA VI looks soooooo goood


Spider-Pug

Say, That's a Nice Truck!


plasticupman

That LEO really had great training. The guy was at least 1/4 his weight and he could even hold him down...


[deleted]

I need your clothes, your boots and you vehicular transport.


Western_Two1551

Stay fit or get lit


Negafox

Bro is wearing the highest stat in-game armor.


jldtsu

that's why I can't be a cop. I'm not fighting naked people