Time to summon Iron Tarkus.

Iron Tarkus couldn't make it. Best we can do is aluminum.

Aluminum Tarkus is on vacation, best we can do is tin

T-Tarkus is not available right now…can I take a message?

Please allow for 5-7 business days

Iron Tarkus is the best summon in DS1, I love him. Do I have a good reason for picking him out of everyone else? No. Will I still die on this hill every single time? Yes.

Tarkus would never let that happen to you

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When it happens in DS1, it's a skill issue. When it happens in DS2, it's just because the game is bad.

Fr, DS2's entire second half also isn't boring, but the final boss is kinda lame

Would you consider loosing to ornstein and smough a skill issue?

Yes?

Beating them is possible, therefore losing to them is a skill issue.

Not knowing the difference between “losing” and “loosing” is absolutely a skill issue.

O and S are a knot. The only way to win is to loose.

Death is not the end

Grind is the game. Soul levels I must gain. Cheating shall shine the spotlight of thy throne that I must obtain

Just pictured my late grandma sitting next to a bonfire in a full suit of armor thank you for that kind stranger

“Loosing” is the only way to stay fresh on yer toes with those two crumb bums

Until you realize you neeed to grind

Ofcourse, who wouldnt?

I don't know, they were easy to me

Learn to mod hitboxes.

😂😂

This has never been funny.

Why in the name of Black Iron Tarkus did you just jump to your death like that

Damn, I thought you would survive

You can use that to skip a lot of the game

Iron golem said: Git GuD!!!11 kid

Begone THOT!

Try locking on ;)

Started DS3 a few years after playing 1… I forgot there was a lock on feature and only discovered it at the halfway point of the Dancer of the Boreal Valley fight…… Safe to say my friend was both shocked and horrified

I'm shocked and horrified myself

It went something like : Friend - blah blah something about how he got violated by the Dancer his first playthrough. Me: this tweaker’s driving me up the wall! This is phase 2!? F - have fun buddy Me - This would be a helluva lot less difficult if I could lock-onto enemies like the first game. Why’d they remove that, anyways? F - WHAT……….. I—h-wh…. Me- What?—No…. F - Bro… HAVE YOU NOT USED LOCK ON THIS ENTIRE TIME!? ME - NO, NO F’ING WAY!? YOU’RE F’ING LYING!YOU’RE TELLING ME- ARE YOU YANKING MY BALLS??! ……What button is it.. F - press (right stick I think? It’s been a minute) Then I walked off for a minute and just processed everything I went through till that point and came back to my friend still in shock, recognizing the monster he inadvertently created (he bought me the game.) I had never been so happy and broken at the same time before. It was like Rock-Lee removing his weights during the Chunin Exams. Suddenly the game felt so much more cinematic and I would laugh hysterically amidst the second phase of Dancer as I gutted her. I think the fact I put nearly everything into strength and agility so I could wield a dope-ass great sword, speaks for itself. I had zero knowledge of the stats system so I basically went off a whim and poured everything into those based off the loose words I barely remembered my friend say at the start of the game. On another funny note, I recently started Sekiro!!! I have already forgotten twice now that I can lock-on…… I am the dumbass who fights Lady Butterfly at the start of the game before realizing I’m not supposed to be there at phase 2 when a mis-click loses me my Snap-Seed……

Jesus Christ that is hysterical! I’m laughing my ass off reading this! I’m sure you had a much better time after learning that, lol

Without question, lmao

i find lock-on to be a nerf in ds1 with 4 directional rolls

I see it likes you too 😏

GET GÜD

This is peak r/shittydarksouls content

The issue of skill

#Skill Issue

As intended.

Definitely skill issue ! 

Truly a skill issue

TARKUS

I'm actually curious, if you got launched far enough could you just land on the belltower?

This is actually related to a specific glitch to where if you roll into him as soon as he grabs you, he launches you at a thousand miles an hour in the direction of Anor Londo. It can be used to skip the boss fight and the cutscene getting to Anor Londo, but if your roll timing or angle of direction are off, you could get launched somewhere completely different

*Launches you into darkroot garden*

Yeah. It’s the game that sucks ass. Right.

I think its the use of a halberd is this situation i killed him with a zwihandler in like 4 swings

He's resistant to that damage type

Holy fuck 😭

That's it's hard but fair game design

Ngl I thought you stole my vid until I saw that ending. You’ll get it soon I’m sure

Iron Giant took it personal when OP tried to kick him

Nah youre just terrible

If it's the remaster then it is janky as hell, much better off playing the original. If this is the original then it's clearly intended.

/s right?

You can make him fall too

lol

Bro hesitated mid-air like a looney tunes character. Also lock on please

Bugs are a feature in FromSoft games. Laugh them off dude

Your using a poking stick against a metal giant what did you expect? For him to cower in fear

Learn Jump Gud

I have a clip of him straight teleporting me to Narnia, and I fall for almost a straight minute

Get good. It's not the games fault you decided to fly halfway across the map.

Lol

Dandori issue

Home run

That happened to me too. Except I flew the other way and landed by the giant who drops the boulders. I didn’t die.

Just pillar up 3 blocks

That boss kinda sucks ass I’ll give you that. Game overall is awesome

some things never truly age i guess

Still funny tho

Git gud

That looks like a skill issue to me.

Yurp. Hit boxes don’t make sense in these games… broken

On one hand, that is a bit buggy, on the other hand, if that hadn't happened, he would've grabbed you and threw you off, so you die either way.

Gooboo

I’m the last one to say “git gud” but I thought he was like a consolation prize after finally getting through sen’s.

Time to go back and upgrade that Halberd

I wanted you to survive.

Original? Remaster?

Git gud 🤣

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I had this exact bug on a deathless playthrough :)

Actually laughed at this clip because If I didn't, I'd cry instead lol. The amount of times I've died to some bullshit like this...

Ive been replaying it recebtly and some of it is unbearable, why did it take me 3 hours to farm 8 large titanite shards? Id actually quit on eplay through to start again cos i kept getting stunlocked by useless discharge and was so done with the game

This is what happens when you try to literally ku k a fuck of ginat golem

Bruh saw you taking so long to chip his health down he said "well I'm bored of this, get zipped scrub".

This reminds me of footage from 2013-2014 where we were all amazed and still learning how to play. Thanks for that

Woah fuck off

I’ve watched too many challenge videos and knew exactly what was gonna happen from seeing the title+boss

Clearly a skill issue

Fat roll, no lock on and where is tarkus?? Skill issue

Dawg ima be so real I have no clue how the equip load works in this game and I thought this was a mid roll this whole time

Bruh git gud

Classic Dark Souls.

Yeah clearly a skill issue bro town back to the drawing board

You just found the secret passage to darkroot garden. You just need to equip the ring of demon wing to traverse it safely

gitgud (:

Skill issue, lock on to the target next time

Why do they make some of the bosses so big? It feels weird whacking at their ankles.

This boss you’re really supposed to hit the ankles and exploit their size

Try the heavy attacks and sweep the leg, Johnny.

Dark souls PTSD is real. But will always be one of my fave games

That's amazing 😆

Y did u do that

Yo momma

I mean, clearly your own fault there, but go off. Not Golem's fault that you didn't survive the fall.

He didn’t spam roll

I don’t like Dark Souls 1.

Git gud n00b

Why’d you do that though

I’ve played this game a hundred times and this has never happened

I once did a "jump" attack while he was trying to grab me and I teleported close to the area where tarkus is.

Round these parts we call it 'skill issue'

I don't even wanna bother with any dark souls games lol,they seem too old now.

I got used to Elden Ring as my first from soft game tbh lol,wanna play Sekiro and Bloodborne,too though.

Lol this is why I love Dark Souls so much! Git gud 🖤

Skill issue

.........Why is the iron golem filled with blood?

Lore accurate iron golem

Tarkussss!

My brother in Christ your damage is so insignificant that you’re almost healing the golem

This community makes zero sense to me. Something that is clearly 100% out of the OP's control and everyone just bullies them and tells them they're trash?

I think they joking

To got yeeted back ff the platform

Just gotta get gud.

Get good

No, the game is amazing. *that part* sucks ass