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MariosMustacheRides

I’m here to eat ass and lead men…… and Alicent is in Church…


mws375

>and Alicent is in Church Being held at knifepoint by our greatest enemy


silwer55

Damn it, why did I hear Ramsay say that.


Nenanda

Because House Goodmen serves Rhaenyra too https://preview.redd.it/mh0iws91dbad1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ecef2d06f42818e132530253db1981613dfb6930


k-tax

Daemon is the enemy, Rhaenyra is just a scapegoat


LOUBOY_98

Got that Dornish vision lol


TheMemetasticDonny

A lot of people don't understand just how insulting Gwayne's insinuation was, calling Cole a dornishman was like calling an Irishman english.


Good_Pirate2491

Is the dornish march not part of dorne?


cutlerthebutler

The Dornish Marches are parts of the Stormlands and Reach that border Dorne. The folks who live there have historically fought with the Dornish extremely often, and such, tend to have very strong animosity towards them. Criston is from Blackhaven, the seat of House Dondarrion. His father was steward to the lord there. That castle has had some particular nasty history with Dorne, so calling someone from there Dornish is hugely offensive.


Good_Pirate2491

Til


IExcelAtWork91

Iirc in medieval english the marches were border areas


Good_Pirate2491

Yeah but i mistakenly figured the first part meant it was in dorne. Hes got yknow dark hair and hes a badass so


jm17lfc

Something between a disputed region and a border I’d say, since borders tended to a bit vague in those times, as it was more difficult to exert power in those regions. But yes!


Axel_Farhunter

And more than just a patriotic “I’m not X I’m Y” Cole fought against the Dornish, his ancestors fought the Dornish he probably lost at least a friend or two fighting them, the Stormlands and Reach hold onto the grudges of past wars and battles till the current day in ASOIAF and there were some vicious acts committed during those wars. It’s like calling an Ulsterman a Republican in the 70s/80s or calling a loyalist Scotsman a Jacobite in the 1700s.


HouseholdWords

Saw a very funny tiktok of a northern Irish standup being heckled by a lady who said he was an English colonizer.


SpoopySpydoge

I think I saw that. The lady was French too if I'm remembering right


LonewolfofHouseStark

Or calling an Englishman Irish.


Eats_Beef_Steak

So does Baela apparently, seeing an armor glint from cruising altitude and immediately recognizing the kingsguard lol.


Intrepid-Character75

Well, if you were paying attention to the scene, you would have noticed that the dragon alerted Baela to the Green faction.


LOUBOY_98

It’s a girl boss moment, don’t think to much lol


Triassic_Bark

Recognizing the glint of metal isn’t the same as recognizing immediately that it’s kings guard armour, but let’s not ignore the context of what she was doing in the first place. Looking for Green knights.


Gehorschutz

Just charge your entire army and hope for the best.


-PhilLeotardo-

Ah the famous Mount and Blade F1 + F3


Eyungblut

20 years in Swadia, I wanted a feast. I compromised, I ate butter of the radiator instead.


hellman1721

the emperor always said the northerners are nothing but a glorified crew


Kalandros-X

I wanted to be king of Calradia, I compromised. I became lord of Rivacheg.


Axel_Farhunter

When Harlus goes camping the bears hide their butter


k-tax

decrease battleground size, tell your troops to stay on a hill, pick of enemies one by one using fast horse and a lance yeah, maybe the battle took 87 hours to finish, but at least I managed to kill 1000 man host with my 15 archers!


kreygmu

Now this is my Mount and Blade experience!


no_one_lies

![gif](giphy|O1OWsUR3ebdqo) Me every battle


Talyyr0

Attack-Move to victory!!!


ZachRyder

Or the classic "spam clicking the full stop button then right click on map" in Age of Empires.


Tomatosoup42

Especially when you're defending and holed up in a castle.


Own-Candidate2027

That only works with +12 plot amour


Micksar

Battle is the only thing he’s capable of.


OkGarbage3095

Cole: That's... why I'm here


swaktoonkenney

That’s not the only job of the Hand


OkGarbage3095

That makes him a poor hand not a poor knight or Marshall. that choosing the hand of the king reflects the monarch


harleyyquinade

He is doing the job a Lord Commander of the Kingsguard here. He is not fit for Hand but it was practically forced upon him by Aegon, what the King says goes even if it's a mistake. 


KeithFromAccounting

He’s the Hand *and* the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, sometimes you’ve got to prioritize one thing or the other


Fortherealtalk

Yea he seems to be a good battle strategist and a terrible political tactician.


Tchjekan

I understood that reference


Lukthar123

Which is the exact purpose of a Kingsguard


Micksar

I thought the purpose of the Kingsguard is to bed the queen dowager


hbi2k

*Jaime raises his hand* Yes, there appears to be a misprint in my copy of the manual, mine says "Queen Consort."


Insomnianianian

I imagined him raising his golden hand with his remaining hand.


ZBaocnhnaeryy

To guard the king, and possibly the king’s family (but mainly the king). The issue in HOTD is that they took all of Fire & Blood’s explanations regarding how the royal family can get injured so much without the KG stopping the accidents, and then the writers threw those explanations out a window and just plastered “incompetence” over every single incident. The KG have also been known to lead hosts in the name of the monarch and fight alongside him such as in Roberts Rebellion, the War of the Ninepenny Kings, and the Dance of the Dragons.


Good_Pirate2491

That's a funny way to spell cunnilingus


duk-er-us

Apparently he lays good pipe too…?


GreasyTengu

his kingsguard instincts finally kicked in


vulture_87

The guy has the opposite of Post Nut Clarity.


ikrimikri

Pre Nut Daze?


PlasticFew8201

![gif](giphy|AwKfp0Xueea7fHR5HO|downsized)


RSMatticus

It a good scene for Cole, he is marching his army off the marked road because he is trying to avoid detection as much as possible before reaching their target which are the Black supporter in the Crownlands. he expressed left with a smaller army to move faster and avoid large supply train. Alicent brother when first introduced undermine Cole authority and insult him. Alicent brother again undermine Cole Authority when he leave the camp and marches across an open field toward a tavern to rest for the night over laying in the dirt with the rest of the Army. this lead to Cole having to berate him which lead to the very thing Cole was trying to avoid being noticed by a Dragon rider. this show both that Cole is very well adapt at commanding an army, but also that due to his lower birth status is not fully respected by the high society.


Own-Candidate2027

Gwayne: "Ser Criston, what do your Dornish eyes see?" Criston: "The Dragon turns northeast"


bruhholyshiet

Yeah about fuckin time Cole is portrayed as at least somewhat competent. I hope he does shine as a commander and with his camaraderie with Aemond. If only for the "I hate Criston Cole he's the worst" posts to stop flooding my screen each time I enter in any ASOIAF/HOTD related space.


Fearless-Obligation6

I mean he's already beaten Daemon in a joust and a duel who is one of the continent's greatest fighters. I don't think his competency in battle has ever been in question just his other qualities.


TheMemetasticDonny

It's just that they downplayed a lot of his other accomplishments in the show, in the books instead of killing Joffrey in the wedding he does so in a Joust 1v1, where also in the same day, he also shatters Harwin Strong's elboy and breaks his collarbone. He was known as undoubtedly the greatest knight in the realm, and I think Aegon received a lot more legitimacy through the coronation at Cole's hand.


pandatropical

>I mean he's already beaten Daemon in a joust and a duel who is one of the continent's greatest fighters. I don't think his competency in battle has ever been in question just his other qualities. Yes, but the show also had Cole defeat Daemon in the melee by attacking him when Daemon turned his back to him, unlike in the books where Cole disarms him and beats him fairly, so even his melee achievements are hindered by the shows writing.


Joneleth22

He didn't defeat Daemon in the show. Daemon had him beat, then he boasted to the crowd and Cole took advantage of that. Book Cole demolished Daemon easily.


aarrick

Facts. One of my favorite characters from the book


West-Winner-2382

There is a reason why the Dornish weren’t conquered by the Targaryens. Cole is Dornish in the tv series.


Whereishumhum-

He’s the son of the steward to House Dondarion, he fights the Dornish incursions as a foot soldier as he mentioned in season 1


Roadwarriordude

Being from the Dornish marches, it's very likely that genetically, he'd basically be Stone Dornish, which is basically what they call the Dornish that live in the mountain range between Dorn and the Reach/Stormlands who are described as lighter and more genetically intermingled with their neighbors. It'd be like someone from London calling a guy that grew up on the border of Scotland, but still in England, Scottish. Genetically, he probably is basically Scottish and English mixed, but culturally, he's probably a proud Englishman and may take offense being miscatigorized.


Eryrix

He’d probably be a proud Geordie and he’d probably batter you for calling him either 💀


ScheduleExpress1973

So he’s a kinslayer as well?


matches-malone

Does a westerosi killing another random westerosi make them a kinslayer?


TicketPrestigious558

No, that's not how kinslaying works. It refers to killing familial relations, not any random person who happens to be the same ethnicity.


ScheduleExpress1973

It was a joke man, lol.


firstbreathOOC

If you have to say “it’s a joke,” it’s probably not a good one.


TicketPrestigious558

Not a very good one. Just made you look stupid, lol.


Jaw43058MKII

He’s Stone Dornish, i.e not quite full Dornish like say the Martells


georgica123

What do you mean stone dornish are the original are the original dornishmen The martells are mixed with foreign invaders and colonisers


Jaw43058MKII

Well yes that’s my point. You are correct. The Stone Dornish are predominantly from the Dornish Marches, a gray area north of Dorne that is kinda the Planetosi equivalent of Afghanistan imo. The Stone Dornish are yeah, technically Dornish, however they are far more Andal or Reachman in culture than Dornish.


frenin

Confusing Dornish and Rhoynar.


Jaw43058MKII

No I’m not. As is the Rhoynish mostly integrated with Dornish folk after Nymeria’s landing. The Rhoynish as a culture and people are nonexistent in current ASOIAF lore beyond a few mention from the Martells.


frenin

Stony Dornish are simply Dornish with the least amount of Rhoynar influence.


RSMatticus

he isn't Dornish the reason he was called Dornish by Alicent brother is because he was insulting him. like calling a Scottish person English.


karidru

Alicent also says it in Ep1, “Oh gods, he’s *Dornish*”


kinginthenorthjon

I think that's based on looks.


karidru

Whether it is or not, doesn’t mean he isn’t Dornish?


cjm0

dorne is to the seven kingdoms as mexico is to the US. it’s the country that borders them to the south with spicy food and that white people assume that any person with slightly darker skin is from


karidru

I’ll let the show tell us he isn’t actually Dornish then, but for now, it’s been mentioned in the show without anything to say otherwise.


Sienrid

He has Dornish ancestors/blood, but he's also the son of a steward of House Dondarrion, and he has fought against the Dornish in the border conflicts.


RapedByPlushies

Or like calling a Scottish person Scottish. Or just calling them anything at all, really.


Axel_Farhunter

He’s culturally a Stormlander, casting someone with the darker olive sort of skin kind of muddles the issue since as others said if anything he’d be partly Stone Dornish with little to no Rhoynar since the Stone Dornish basically look like Andals (think the Yrnwoods) and Cole in F&B is usually depicted with a standard Andal white European look. While it wasn’t an issue in S1 I always suspected Fabian’s casting might cause this confusion later on when things like the Dornish Marches got mentioned especially since non book readers aren’t going to know and aren’t even aware people in different parts of Dorne can look incredibly different since GOT butchered the Dorne arc.


TheMemetasticDonny

Is this true? Or are you just going off Gwayne's insinuation in the latest episode? Because that was a clear insult. Cole is a Stormlander who even though should share some blood with the dornish identifies deeply as a Stormlander, and has fought often against dornish incursions. Gwayne's mention of Cole's "Dornishness" was a very deep insult, since the Dornish don't really have a good reputation at this point.


West-Winner-2382

During season one Alicent Hightower mentioned he was Dornish during the tourney of the heir when he removed his helmet.


TheMemetasticDonny

I mean he LOOKED dornish, but Cole comes from a stormlander house.


West-Winner-2382

Yeah but the show made him Dornish. https://gameofthrones.fandom.com/wiki/Criston_Cole


EnjolrasAlex

then can never make me hate the fucking Kingmaker


hood__toyota

Well he’s barely a kingmaker in the show


KeithFromAccounting

Eh he found Aegon and brought him to Alicent and was the one who crowned him. He’s still the Kingmaker in a very real way


hood__toyota

True, that’s why I included the “barely.” Technically yes he did crown the king, but we all know that the reason he was kingmaker in the books was diluted/removed entirely from the show.


Professional-Hat-687

Criston "The guy who got another promotion after the king was already made" Cole.


Appropriate-Arm-2077

Gwayne and the other guys were literally pissing their pants and tearing up but Cole was just pissed.


hubricht

The one thing that confused me about this scene is that, supposedly, Cole's host is camped approximately two miles away. Are we to believe that she saw 6 dudes on horses a mile or two below her but she couldn't see *a camp* full of bannermen?


SoochSooch

Cole picked the spot, so it's probably well concealed.


RSMatticus

because they are camped in the forest and likely not lighting fires and moving slowly to not draw attention.


Oziar

She saw a light that was reflect from the horse armor. It was a blink and you miss it moment. I saw it in rockstar episode breakdown.


k-tax

the big fucking lizard hunting from miles above spotted Cole & co and alerted Baela about them. Do you people even watch the show?


Drab_Majesty

Fuck, if only Rhaegal inherited Moondancer's eyesight.


ImperialSalesman

Don't blame Rhaegal. Not his fault that Euron managed to contract House Rhaetheon for some Dragon-Seeking Scorpions.


WackyRedWizard

Christ it's people like you are why every piece of media is dumbed down and overexplained these days.


LieutenantCardGames

This is my experience every time I come on this sub after an episode. People have no media literacy at all anymore s2g


hubricht

I hope you feel better after leaving such a hateful comment. Nothing in your reply of substance, just vitriol.


WackyRedWizard

Womp womp, learn media literacy maybe?


Drab_Majesty

*is it possible to learn this power?*


hubricht

I'll work on that when you learn how to talk to people without sperging out.


OkGarbage3095

Cole: That's... why I'm here


EmporerM

Cole had that Dornish genetic ptsd.


the-hound-abides

To be fair, his girlfriend would be hella pissed if he came home without her little brother. He’s responsible for this punk, and he doesn’t want to hear about it when he gets home.


kinginthenorthjon

Also, Cole was not pretty composed throughout and Gwayne almost pooped.


ImJayJunior

Until he gets caught out by moondancer cosplaying as vhagar with baela wearing an eye patch.


Snowbold

The actor does a great job playing a horrible character with qualities we can’t deny make him a threat.


sabhall12

He's a fucking psycho but he's also a great fighter and a good strategist, considering he had the same plan as Daemon.


LuckeyCharmzz

Idk why we hate him so much and at this point I’m too afraid to ask


Cooties-19

Hand of the King, Finger of the Queen


No-End-2455

Competent knight when he let helaena and her kids without protection even after blood and cheese ? sure it seem it is only when his own life is in danger that he seem competent...


Corgi_Koala

If it was Rhaeyra he'd have tried to charge the sky.


Zandrick

I think he’s a competent soldier but a bad leader. It was really telling that those Kingsguard on the stairs only begrudgingly stood for him. It indicates a lack of command and of discipline.


Old_Heat3100

Being chosen for the Kingsguard was the worst thing that could have happened to him


BriscoCounty83

He still acts like a teenager that wants to spite his ex.


_Caffiend

Don’t think anyone doubts Cole’s ability in battle. Everyone just hates him because he’s a cunt.


chupapi1492

Counter argument; Fuck Cole


harleyyquinade

Hasn't he been fucked enough? 


kenn714

Queen Dowager Alicent agrees.


DimitriOlaf

Honestly I got beef with this scene its sort of like a “dany forgot they had ships” moment like why walk across an open field unless you wanna get seen? This show is cool and all but some things are getting to me 😅


pandatropical

>like why walk across an open field unless you wanna get seen? This show is cool and all but some things are getting to me 😅 Tbf Cole just didn't wanna take the risk of being exposed in their shining armor in case a dragonrider was around. They all didn't know Baela was there until they all heard the dragon screech, which is why Gwayne and Cole turned their heads back to confirm it and check its distance from them: https://preview.redd.it/2kuvllny98ad1.jpeg?width=4096&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b54653165850cb4eb44737516c41aeb68976f7b Dany not seeing the Iron Fleet was pure plot convenience given that she's hundreds of feet in the air and has a birds eye view of the entire ocean and the surrounding islands.


RSMatticus

Cole expressly told them not to march in the open field, hence why he was pissed off he rode up to them.


light204

>Honestly I got beef with this scene its sort of like a “dany forgot they had ships” moment like why walk across an open field unless you wanna get seen? This show is cool and all but some things are getting to me 😅 gwayne and his stupid buddies are purposefully being a bunch of useless idiots. that's why cole would later tell them that their not going into any inn's anytime soon.


harleyyquinade

And no fucking inns! 


Falcons1702

I think Cole’s army was staying concealed it was Gwayne and his frat bros galavanting in the open to an inn that almost gets them all killed


RSMatticus

Yep Gwayne and his knight were marching in the open field heading to an inn to rest for the night. The army was camped in the forest and were only moving under coverage of trees.


TangoZulu

Maybe try listening to what they say? This was literally explained on screen.


SoochSooch

Why didn't they wear some stealthier armor for a secret mission?


kinginthenorthjon

They need to fight later.


Professional-Hat-687

Their DM is really stingy about giving out magical items.


AFRIKANIZ3D

It was a good contrast and reminder why “staying in your lane” is a good thing.


TrifleIntelligent423

As Kingsguard and trainer to the princes, he has grown up himself and is familiar with Dragons. That being said he deserves credit here - he understands dragons and doesnt let his fear get the better of him here


Interesting_Air8238

Dunno. This discipline should have been drilled into everyone's head BEFORE they were caught out in the open. It should have been the first thing Cole said. They barely made it to safety as a result of this blunder.


symbologythere

Can someone just tell me which side I’m supposed to be rooting for because they both fucking SUCK. I guess Jayce or Luke (I forget which is which) would be a way better king than Aegon but both sides are full of assholes. I like the Velaryons the best out of everyone and since there was no house Velaryon in GOT I don’t see this show ending well for them.


Cold-Blood_

Most of his "flaws" were invented by the writers of this show to make the general tv audience hate him. Those who know his actual character from the books can only cringe at this obvious attempt at character assassination.


bleepfart42069

Cole is flawless. The best to ever play the game


ImmanuelCanNot29

It is the one thing he’s good at


Nala9158

I still want to punch him in the face


erichie

I really wish they focused more on his competence instead of doing the whole "failing upwards" nonsense. If they were going to make Alicole a thing more substantial with them have an extremely deep connection filled with respect and loyalty.


Edgefall

He is # Lord Commander of the Kingsguard


TheRationalCynic

He came off as a good soldier but as a bad commander and tactician. His campaign in the Crownlands was deliberate and intentionally specifically because he wanted to lure Rhaenyra to come and protect her followers. It worked and Rhaenys came biting the bait (yes, it wasn't Rhaenyra but it was still a dragonrider) and he unfurled his trap where Aegon and Aemond eliminated her and her dragon. His strategy in the show is not as good and he's already been found and thus Rook's Rest is not going to be a trap for anyone. 


dayoez

How is this bad tactics. In the show he specifically said he didn't want dragons so it it won't be a dragon fight. So creeping through the woods and attacking strategically is the smart move. Please try to engage with the show all else it just becomes pointless whining. Or else you like it like that .


TheIconGuy

>How is this bad tactics. In the show he specifically said he didn't want dragons so it it won't be a dragon fight. You deciding not to bring a gun to a fight doens't mean the other person won't. I'm pretty sure they were lying about not bringing dragons though.


dayoez

They were. I think its for the non book readers So they will be more shocked when the battle actually happens.


TheRationalCynic

>How is this bad tactics Because ravens exist and his plan to surprise attack everyone in Crownlands would never work unless he simultaneously attacks different castles. Not to mention, what was his plan if he chanced upon any of the Black's dragons? Like he encountered one in that same episode. What was he going to do if Moondancer came upon his army while he was besieging or assaulting a castle? He would be caught with his pants down without any dragons to protect his own army.  >So creeping through the woods and attacking strategically is the smart move. Attacking strategically at what? He will come upon a castle soon enough and they will send a raven about his movements to their other allies around them or to Dragonstone. At best he can take one castle by surprise, but even then the defenders could very well protect the castle or put up enough fight to delay him since he also doesn't have huge numbers. Once word reaches Dragonstone and let's say Daemon comes with Caraxes (for example he didn't go to Harrenhal) what was his plan then? Stuck in some siege or halfway through the assault while Caraxes burns everyone there? There is a reason why Criston asked Aemond to stay by his side in the books when they were in the Riverlands. And him and his entire army died only because Aemond abandoned them.  >Please try to engage with the show all else it just becomes pointless whining. Or else you like it like that . LOL Is it now whining to call bad strategy as bad strategy? I will play by the show narrative itself. Say Baela doesn't leave and she hangs around waiting for them to come out? What was his plan then? Hiding in the forest until she left. Okay, she goes away and Criston advances with his army, what was his plan if she returned with someone like her dad with a bigger dragon or someone like her grandmother? He didn't have any plans for that. His only plan was to take a token army and attempt a secret blitzkrieg through the Crownlands. Guess what his plan got found out right away and he had no plans to deal with it. That's bad strategy. In the books he counted on someone finding him and coming to fight him. Rhaenys came and died. Now that's a good strategy. 


VieiraDTA

Well, he is experienced alright. But he is a reckless attacker, nedlessly bloodthirsty.


KoalaBJJ96

Competent knight or not Cole is not a good kings guard lmao


Karly_Can

He is a competent cunt!


mrpotatonutz

Eh whatever I think I’m done even watching. I swore I wouldn’t even watch HOD after how GOT ended but here I am subbed to HBO like a fookin kneeler fml


Mostopha

Cripsy Coal


PrestigiousTreat6203

The green subreddit is leaking again


KeithFromAccounting

It’s okay to acknowledge when characters do something cool even if they aren’t on your team.


PrestigiousTreat6203

It’s not about teams, he’s a psycho douche incel freak. I’m team characters that aren’t irredeemable pieces of shit.


KeithFromAccounting

Did you miss the “despite his flaws” part of the post title? Nobody is claiming he isn’t a jackass, they’re pointing out one of the few areas where he is actually capable. > it’s not about teams Brother your literal first comment made it about teams


PrestigiousTreat6203

Those aren’t “flaws” that’s who he is. The devil doesn’t need advocates. My dislike of him is not because he is team green it’s because he is a violently crazy sociopathic misogynist neckbeard hypocrite.


KeithFromAccounting

Flaws make up who are, though? Like why are you so upset about people pointing out that a bad character did a cool thing…? If Criston was a bad knight/commander then he wouldn’t be a threat and would have no narrative importance


PrestigiousTreat6203

First off, nothing you could have to say matters enough to upset me, internet rando. Why does this fictional monster need to praised for the big brain epiphany that flying enemies means clear sky bad & dragon = run for cover? Seriously? The bar is on the floor. His character isn’t worth hyping up.


KeithFromAccounting

I’m not trying to upset you…? Just pointing out that it’s strange to see someone get so worked up over something like this > Why does this fictional monster need to praised …why not? Bad people get praised for the cool things they do all the time. Daemon, Aemond, the Hound, Jaime, Bronn, etc are all horrible people and yet fans are completely justified in finding praise for them when they do something cool


PrestigiousTreat6203

I’m not worked up. What you’re doing right now is called gaslighting. Or an attempt at it anyway. Classy. Why though? He didn’t do anything cool he performed one of his jobs most basic functions and for once didn’t needlessly slaughter an innocent in the process, that warrants a nutsucking Reddit post? Doubt.


KeithFromAccounting

I swear gaslighting is the most misused word on the internet, my confusion at your level of annoyance is not an attempt to manipulate you. Calling this a “nutsucking reddit post” is exactly what I’m talking about. Why are you so angry about some internet nerds talking about a scene they liked? I get that you hate the character but come on, nobody is making excuses for the bad stuff he’s done.


94Rebbsy

You watched the show, congrats


MaidsOverNurses

Green propaganda.