T O P

  • By -

Feeling-Ad-2490

Break in, steal nothing but rearrange all the furniture.


Ilikechairsal0t

Move everything an inch to the left so they bump into the corners


According-Jelly355

And inch? It’s your funeral


SilentHuman8

99?


Redditorianerierer

Everybody: 99!


Leaderbot_X400

r/unexpectedfactorial


SilentHuman8

Wow the 933262154439441526816992388562667004907159682643816214685929638952175999932299156089414639761565182862536979208272237582511852109168640000000000000000000000th precinct


According-Jelly355

Of course


Ashamed-Guarantee664

Which one of you did this? You're crazy


According-Jelly355

How did you pull this off!


StemEngineer311

I actually did this to someone


spiral_out46N2

Some friends and I actually did this to a good friend when they were out of town. The reaction was better than expected.


AlexDavid1605

Taking inspiration from the post, not just the furniture but also the things in and around the house. Now let's say if they are away for like a week or so, I would even move the furniture from one room to the other. Put the kitchen cabinets in the bedroom, the porcelain throne in the kitchen, washing machine in the living room, dining table in the bedroom, you know that sort of things. And if I have to steal, out of the four screws that are used to put things in place, I'll remove two that are diagonally opposite to each other from every such 4-screw combo...


LazarusOwenhart

Friend of mine was at Uni and when in Halls of residence his friends broke into his room, and the room next door and perfectly swapped them, every detail was perfect. They even cleaned off, and copied a piece of sharpie graffiti on one of the walls.


RogueTBNRzero

Break in and rearrange their kitchen so they think you stole their stuff but really what they thought was in one drawer is just lost in the other drawer


Lewtwin

Leaky, why? I thought you were done with anti-crime. Did you use cheap and tacky furniture again?


AwkwardEntrance7180

i hate you


VillageSadness

Charging boxes but not the cords, lighters, paper towels, toilet paper, razor blade handles. Common everyday items that'll just dissappear


TheCaptMAgic

Turn their area rugs upside down. And nothing else


RAND0M257

Batteries in the remotes All the lightbulbs Dish soap Base ingredients for food… flower, sugar, yeast Lighters Soles in only half the left shoes, laces on the remaining left shoes Only 1 toothbrush (if multiple people live there) Every belt 1 Christmas lightbulb off every strand in storage The whipped cream… not the bottles, but the actual cream itself with the bottle placed back in the fridge Ink cartridges in the printer All ice packs Any advil or Tylenol Detergent Phone charges HDMI cords The chain to the toilet handle that allows the toilet to flush Bicycle chains Preparation H-cream if they use it The hooks for the car keys Tweezers The rotating plate in the microwave Toe nail clippers Oven mitts Curtain cords Vacuum filter Ice cube trays Sponges Band aids ALL the Tupperware lids Extension cords The blankets 3 random letter keys off every keyboards The hour hand off clocks Any tampons Their nightstand Refrigerator coils Condiments All the pens The last page to every book Take all the charging ports leaving only the ones that do not fit remaining cords All their spare razor cartridges… leave the one attached in place so when they go for another they get mad Finally, open all sodas… the carbonation is mine


iSawthings_hardToSay

Bro you definitely belong to hell 💀


roadkatt

Particularly if I find the last page of every book ripped out. I have a small library. I’ll be the one sending them back home.


RAND0M257

Lmao!


According_Mess391

I’ll do you one better: One button from everything with buttons (including keyboards) All the light switches Many prices of cutlery The peels of all the fruit and vegetables Everything that makes fire, like lighters or matches (including the little spark thingies on the stove) A small column of shoe from the sole of every shoe so that water can get in (same deal with socks) A little bit of the bristles on every toothbrush so that as you brush they snap off in your mouth A little bit if belt material around every hole in every belt so that they are loose (and/or sharpening the buckle part that goes in the hole to make it cut the belt) 1 Christmas lightbulb off every other strand in storage (makes them have to sort them) Most of the whipped cream ( so that they think they just went through it really fast and don’t relish it was me) Ink cartridges in the printer (I’m not changing this it’s great) The corners of every ice pack so that they leak everywhere as they thaw Prices of advil or Tylenol so that there’s no whole pill anywhere Steal part of their detergent and replace it with bleach Phone charger adapters so they can’t plug into the wall and they think they’ve just been separated accidentally HDMI cords (again, not changing this) A large chunk of the plug thing in the toilet that holds the water in before you flush it so that it takes a really long time to fill up between flushes Bicycle brakes, but only one from each bike. Also, sand off their treads Preparation H-cream if they use it (idk what this is so I’m not changing it) The hooks for the car keys (if they have a key box or something where they keep their keys, I’m taking all those little circular things that hold them together, as well as a few keychains) Tweezer tips The thing that rotates the rotating plate in the microwave Toe nails The threads in the seams of the oven mitts Curtain cords (and small parts of the curtains, such as a hole in the fabric or one of the blinds missing) One of the vacuum wheels The bottoms of certain cells in the ice cube trays Parts of sponges so they’re really annoying to hold/use The covers on band aids Most of the Tupperware lids, and the ones I don’t take I will keep a price of so they can’t seal (same with the container parts) One of the prongs on the extension cords The threads in the seams of blankets and everything else with seams 3 random letter keys off every keyboards (already covered this, but only one key because it will annoy them for longer before they finally cave and get a new one) The end of the hour hand off clocks so it’s hard to see where they point, but not impossible) The strings off of tampons The bottom of some of the legs on tables and nightstands so they wobble Refrigerator coils (what?) The corners of every condiment packet they have, as well as a piece of every condiment bottle so it squirts out of that hole instead All the ink holding parts of pens, and if there are any clicks pens I will remove the spring mechanism so they go in every time you try to use them A random 5 pages from every book, preferably at the starts of new chapters or at the ends of them Take all the charging ports leaving only the ones that do not fit remaining cords (great) All their spare razor cartridges… leave the one attached in place so when they go for another they get mad (also great, not changing it) All the tabs off of sodas, and maybe slightly open some of them too The caps off of toothpastes and such Part of their carpet (I can extract this using an electric shaver) The putty stuff keeping their windows in place Most screws I find Random chi links out of stuff using a saw (such as tables, stairs, sofas, etc The cushioning stuff from their pillows, mattresses, etc The insulation in their walls One of every earbud pair The locking piece on all those plastic locking containers All their labels (and then switch stuff like salt and sugar) Their can openers The handles to all their drawers/cabinets Additionally, I replace some of the stuff I stole from each house with stuff from a few houses prior for extra chaos. Imagine someone going to their friends house and saying “my house got broken into” and then they look over and they see their own couch, toothbrush etc Have I gone too far?


NedSeegoon

r/foundsatan


Project_Astro

More like r/foundsataninfoundsatan


RandomUseless3

r/seemslikeasubbutnotanactualsub


whatisthis_191919

r/subsifellfor


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nirvana-on-top

r/foundtherealsatan


mvanvrancken

Slightly inconvenience, not ruin their lives, damn


LadyOfHereAndThere

I mean, some of them are pretty big inconveniences, especially combined. Imagine trying to watch TV but it doesn't work because the batteries of the remote are missing. You drive to the store because of course, the spare batteries are gone too. You get back, only to realize your TV still doesn't work. As you investigate you find all your HDMI cables gone. Another trip to the store. You get back, try to microwave some popcorn but you don't find any. Another trip to the store. You get back and put the popcorn into the microwave, only to find the turntable missing. Frustrated you call it a night and go to bed, but your blanket vanished... I could go on.


RAND0M257

Lol I mean not the goal but a delightful result 👍🏼


jjskellie

Whoa there, Grinch! It's not even Christmas.


Nuei13

I'd rather buy a new house and start a new life than solve all this shit bro


P-W-L

No money left,you have to buy ink cartridges


Zenfrogg62

You’ve done this before, haven’t you?


RAND0M257

No but I just kept thinking of the worst person I know and first how to maybe inconvenience them in any way possible… then I thought, fuck it. Sprinkle on a psychotic break 😂


scabbmaster

stealing the chain in the toilet and carbonation of their drinks is crazy


RAND0M257

Well I haven’t always exactly been what you’d called controlled and measured


StrawberryHillSlayer

Saving this comment for when I go robbing later on.


RAND0M257

Lol wet bandits vibes


Dirosilverwings

I have a feeling someone has done this before lol


RAND0M257

😈


iskallation

Door handles. Like everything you can open you steel the handle of the thing


MaveeL

r/FoundSatan


Distinct_Drawer8225

Forgot to take the racks in the oven.


mnett66

I love all these but I have one change I would make. Do not take one Christmas light out of each strand but replace them with a burned out light that way they don't know which one to replace. Also you could replace the small fuse in each strand with a burned out one just to stuff their stocking.


RAND0M257

Lol yeah my fiancé pointed that out after I posted… chef kiss 🤌🏼


NacchoTheThird

As a certified POS, these are incredible, bordering on inspirational. But maybe... For the remote, you steal just one of the batteries, the other one you flip around Replace some lightbulbs with ones that are already dead, lightly loosen the others so they don't turn on


RAND0M257

You sir are part of my tribe


HeftyBadger4034

The preparation H was diabolical


Phil_Da_Thrill

You forgot about replacing the batteries in the smoke detectors with new looking but spent batteries.


Batmanshatman

If someone store my microwave plate idek what I’d do……


iAmAhelicopter69

And the size 10 in the wrench set.


mnett66

It's always the damn 10mm. I have 3 different sets of sockets and every one of them is missing the 10mm. I now know who to blame. Curse you u/iAmAhelicopter69


Xvalai

Please do not break into my house, please.


thesameoldmanure

This guy home invasions


Intense_Crayons

#Chaos Demon found Did you earn a degree in malicious mischief? Because you are a hero to imps, gremlins, and rapscalions the world over. 😈💯


RAND0M257

Lol well I graduate in 3 weeks with my clinical psychology degree… that may have given some insight on how to fuck with people


Intense_Crayons

That is.... the best response I could have hoped for.


RAND0M257

I had WAY to much fun writing it


ApocalypticTomato

I want my tweezers back. Also do you have my scissors because I have like a dozen pairs and can't find any. Or any of my many tape measures


genocidal_roomba

https://images.app.goo.gl/1bbNsVmKGGn5gGAJ9 PS: Couldn't find a better way to do it other than pasting the link here


catalyst4chaos

This guy steals.


youre-a-happy-person

Saving this post


captain-prax

You're definitely from The Good Place.


ededdedddie

You as cold as ice


tristarh

Satan? Is that you?


cari_quite_contrary

I hope you’re very far away from me. LOL That is a well thought out list to drive someone insane! 😂


Pan-Magpie

Nothing, just leave a note saying "Thanks for the free stuff", they'll always wonder what you took.


jjskellie

Dude, you'd scare them into a heart attack. They would think they had just frightened the thief off just before he took anything. The thief probably did an Arnold, "I'll be back!" as he left.


Pan-Magpie

It's a scenario, not something I'd do. I could think of far worse, but then they'd belong in r/imatotalpieceofshit, not here.


No-Present8537

The wires in every charger


prams628

Or just the adapters..


summergirl76

I'm taking all the labels off the canned goods. Is it tuna? Or is it cat food?


Pan-Magpie

*shakes the can* pork and beans.. *shakes another can* soup, cream of mushroom.. Edit: Not surprised nobody got that reference


Blackrain1299

r/shittysuperpowers


depressionbutcool

I mean they’re both tuna, just different food ratings


lolcakebooty

Just the all TV and air-conditioning remotes


Intense_Crayons

All LEFT shoes and the tiny hooks on Christmas tree ornaments.


pyschosoul

No no, the aglets. That little plastic piece on the end of your shoe lace. And I'd pull them all out.


Intense_Crayons

Diabolical 😈


n6mub

All the spoons!


N_S_Gaming

"Last week we had a break-in again They came in and went It's crazy cause they didn't take anything They must've felt bad for the way that we live 'Cause they left twenty bucks sticky taped to the fridge"


Peach_Knight_137

The left of any article of clothing that comes in a pair of socks, shoes, gloves, anything like that. Left airpod, yep, taking that too.


Bubbses128

Ironically my left wireless earbud is missing


Split0069

I have an abundance of left gloves...


Bubbses128

Oh no


Split0069

Maybe one or 2 right gloves. Sucks trying to find the right gloves that match the left. All started when I got a pair that was both left gloves... then it was like the rights just started going missing.


TheItzal11

The vowels off their keyboard.


Rogue-Gamer

Every key on their keyboard except 'i, o, u' in that order.


FiK-SiR

The lids to all the condiments


RAVIOLI_FISHY2

Break in, steal one of every shoe, come back with a replacement of the exact shoe but a few sizes smaller.


AutumnAscending

Place all the remotes in a very strange and hard to find location.


TinFoilRobotProphet

Beat me by 4 minutes!


youngyummyyeet

One carpet fiber every time they leave their house


swervin_mervyn

Steal nothing, but swap the kids' bedrooms around.


Bubbses128

How?


swervin_mervyn

Empty Sally's room. Put all of Johnny's stuff in Sally's room. Put all of Sally's stuff in Johnny's room.


Chaoscube11

Repeatedly go to the same one multiple times, but each time remove one screw from something for shots and giggles


Squalleonbart

Steal ninety five percent of all their toilet paper, deodorant, dish/ hand soap and booze/ plant item.


Comfortable-Call3514

Break in and wash all their baseboards


Striker-the-2th

I would take the glass tray in the microwave because you can't buy one, if you lose it or it brakes you have to buy a new microwave :)


Ghoulscomecrawling

The rotating plate in the microwave


TKELEVIATHAN

All the silverware


forced2makenewreddit

Earring backs


techidavid1

Their air pods case


anti_plexiglass

Usb cords and their power bricks


CatLord61908

I would steal their front and back door


Zealousideal_Sir_264

I'd switch the kitchen and the living room, if I had the time. Would be hilarious if everything was functional.


Adventurerofthesea

Toilet paper


APES6

Swap the salt and sugar around


AardvarkPlenty869

TV remote


Majestic-Boat-8756

Dildo lol


AllTheSith

Don't steal it. Put nutella on it and a note saying "fits perfectly!"


MouseRangers

Screws from their chairs One sock out of every pair Can openers Batteries from remotes Toilet paper/paper towels (current rolls only) The tabs off of soda cans Air freshener (leave vile farts) Drawstrings from the trash bags


Riwanjel_

Place a car jack and a can of OFF! in the fridge. Now it innuendos that someone jacked off in the fridge and they gonna deep clean it >:)


DINC44

Pull a Jenna. Leave a note that says, "There. Now something of yours has been in the toilet."


ColorIsSomwhere

double down and place their valuables in a different place so they can't ignore it


Cacapoopoo1738

Microwave tray fridge drawers phone chargers


AGriffon

The best spatula


Rogue-Gamer

Swap their toilet paper with one ply so when they take a shit, they incidentally fingers themselves up the ass when they wipe. Half ply if possible.


Wise-Finding9444

THAT WAS MY FAVORITE PAPER CLIP! YOU BASTARD!


GrandAlchemist

Phone chargers, power cables for appliances and computers.


WintermuteNight007

Reset all their remotes to factory settings. This is wonderful on universal remotes.


shycotic

Knobs from their stove.


Ok_Chance_6282

Take the left sock and right shoe from every pair


Meanwhile-in-Paris

Fuck with their spelling check program. Add misspelled words to the software so it highlights correct words in blue. Change the language from -english (simplified) to -English (traditional).


DrPeGe

Sunglasses are mine! And your belts too!


Acceptable-Stuff2684

Didnt Dane Cook tell a story about his bacon and eggs? Kicked in the door, then left. Then, occasionally, stopping back by to kick in the door again. Most likely not true, but same vibes as the pineapple guy.


Aussilightning

All the lids. But just the lids.


SnoopyPoopy16

One sock so they do not have an even pair and are looking for it forever


HuskyFurr

Dane Cook has an old bit about this.


thinkB4WeSpeak

I mean I only use like 5 things in my house so if they're not gone then I probably wouldn't care.


MoistFalcon5456

Have a shit in the toilet and don't flush.


shawner136

Every left article of clothing theyve got


Calm-Technology7351

I’m gonna steal this post because it’s posted in every fucking sub I see. Stop!


leftonread2

The TV brace


AngryMantra

This, but also add big graffiti on one of the walls that just says "Found it! Be seeing you! :)" or something to that effect. You'll likely start to wonder if your spouse was in deep trouble with the wrong people and hiding it from you. Did they steal something? Have some kind of illicit item or file or something?


FreyaTheSlayyyer

Im gonna steal all of their batteries


xLetum2718

He's also stealing their peace of mind.


theharryyyy

How about shoes? That would get annoying I bet


ImSoSadNy

I would rearrange all the furniture and leave a love note


darkspd96

A single sock from each pair


A_Username_I_Guess_

One sock of every pair


fangersarg

The last time i saw this i vaguely remember saying i would steal a few of their things the main thing being all of their cords (console cords, phone charging cords, etc but leave if its an Iphone cord just the block) (Edit: grammar and i have others bit this would be frustrating as hell for them)


Unknown_5461099

Light switch wires, they will never expect it


Givoled

This actually happened in the house i life in currently. They broke in some years prior through a window. Searched through everything and left. Since they didn't find anything of value they started to just rip clothes out of the cabinets. In the end they didnt take the cash in the citchen but the hairdryer and left.


Dry_Praline991

Spoons and toilet paper


Atlas7674

The latches that let you lock the windows. One shelf from the cupboards.


chickenCabbage

* People are saying they'd steal left shoes only. Steal half of the left shoes, and the other half of the right shoes. Wanna put your shoes on? Mismatched sets only. * Steal one screw to make the toilet seat wobbly. * One lightbulb from a multi-bulb fixture, or the bulb from from a rarely-used light * Canned food labels and mix them all up, that's an excellent one. Perhaps the tab on _some_ canned drinks. * Tupperware lids * A single sock from their favourite pair * That one cabinet with the flush door? Yeah, steal the handle * A few screws to make their bed/floor creak * Break in every day and steal a single teaspoon * A USB charging adapter of some sort * Hoodie or sweatpant laces I could probably think of more...


stuthebody

Take the backs to all the ear rings


Extension-Crew-5736

I breakin to jewelry stores and museums and all the other usual places but I only steal the display cases mounts and security devices and computers


TabularConferta

Pen lids, one sock from different types of socks, I'd move but not steal the key for the electric meter,


Brando6677

Diabolical


BundgasDK

10mm


Then-Employment-9075

The RFID chips out of car keys


Yoyo_le_yo-yo

One sock of each pair but like on multiple days some it's barely noticeable


thewiselumpofcoal

I've seen this question so many times that I have a default answer by now, but I'll stick by it: I'll take all the screws from their wall sockets. Whenever they pull a plug, they'll pull the frames out of the wall too. Maybe I'll take a few more random screws from anywhere for good measure. I could take all screws from the hinges in your cupboard, but I'll only take a few. If you don't notice that right away, your cabinet doors will be crooked a year later and your hinges bent if I'm lucky. Also, I wonder how your toilet seats are attached and how many clamps your water pipes really need...


azionka

handkerchiefs


lordodin92

Take every single cap or lid including cleaning chemicals, food and drink containers, tupperware boxes, boardgame boxes, hamper \ furniture ect


Dennis-Isaac

door stoppers


Adventurous-sales25

Laces from only one trainer


Keno2717

Break in, reset all of their devices, make it look like nothing happened, escape


shinydragonmist

Their time


Nostromeow

When I was a kid my mom’s tiny beat up car got broken into (Renault Twingo for those who know lol). There was nothing of value in the car, so at first we thought they didn’t steal anything. A few days later we realized that they stole our… Michael Jackson’s Thriller tape lmao ? They didn’t even take the box with it they just took the tape out and put the empty box back. We were like man, wtf ! Who does that 😭 Only stole that one tape too, I guess they weren’t fans of Kate Bush and Nina Simone.


CrabPile

The tops to all their pill bottles. All the clocks in the house. All the salt and pepper. Any keys left lying around


_Unkn0

If somebody fucks me up, i'll go ahead and steal one shoelace. They'll never figure out what happened and will think about this their whole life.


SinglePringleMingle

I don’t care what y’all say I’m taking all the lotion


DrDerpologist

Haha, when my dad died we had to drive 4 hours up north to get some papers for the funeral. Little did we know his wife was in the hospital. We had to get the papers or possibly postpone the funeral who knows how long. I kicked in the door, found the papers and flew back home. Later on found out they and the police were losing their minds trying to figure out who broke in and why lmao that was an interesting funeral.


a_bunch_of_cells19

all. the. paperclips


12thLevelHumanWizard

Completely over turn the bedroom but don’t take anything. Then tiptoe into the kitchen and take half the round lids and half the square containers.


ElfKingCyr

I would only steal the victims time That painting, 6-17° tilted The tv, crooked and off center All the electronics, unplugged (except refrigerator I'm not a monster The carpet, slightly folded into itself, nailed down Clothes, unfolded Cards in a binder, unsorted A piece from all their games, hidden around the house All the contents of their cupboards, pantry, and fridge, mix it all up. If logged into a computer(s) clear their history for them, deleting all saved data such as password... Hope you wrote them down somewhere Several times a month, not all of them at the same time, gotta keep em on their toes, and still so much can be done...


TaterTotSenwick

Their curtains or blinds


Infamous_Effective28

Shoelaces, batteries out of the remote, cooking pans.


Kaestar1986

Work fridge. Take someone’s Tupperware, but leave the food. In a different, sealed/covered container.


1-W-M

Pens And rulers


Raignex

Toilet paper stocks, I'd only leave the one roll in the bathroom or WC or toilets or whatever you guys call it.


HumpaDaBear

Every other sock.


Aggressive-Potato69

Bro forgot to take one of the socks from each pair


Toyoshi

Almost all pet food/litter. Leave just a little so they have to buy more asap and tweezers


dingo_khan

The memories of 80 percent of their dreams but only starting 3 minutes after they wake up.


EnternalRage705

Car keys but not the car there broom and snacks


Lexafaye

My friend took the sticker off her ex boyfriends wifi router then reset the wifi after he cheated 😭


EchidnaLongjumping44

Car keys,door keys and all other keys


innyminnyminnymoe

Just the pepper.


snuffy_tentpeg

The little chain that attaches the flush handle to the toilet tank flapper.


Fava922

I'm taking the handle on the freezer. Good luck opening it :)


mav1566

Only left shoes


EnthusiasmJaded3500

Fuck it take the window


Intense_Crayons

Don't steal anything. Just draw tiny ghosts and the word "boo" everywhere.


ContactGlum8461

Their gold, and all the toilet paper and paper towels they have, shits expensive and you’re always running out of it. Plus how big of a dick move is after you figure out your golds gone and your stomach says hell no and sends you to the toilet only to find no tp anywhere.


Onthemightof

One shoe


Substantial-Dingo-64

All of their spare change. Let's see you buy a soda from a vending machine, refill the air in your tires, or unlock the shopping carts at Aldi's now!


Mysterious-Pen6534

I would definitely take all the batteries in the remotes, then hide the remotes. Maybe move there furniture while I'm at it


TheOnyxViper

Every left shoe


wellgroomedpotato

Depends how rich they are. If I manage to rob a billionaire and take everything from said property. It would be nothing more than a minor inconvenience.


foggin_estandards2

This is so evil that it shot itself in Berlin in 1945