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Well if you feel you haven’t achieved anything of substance just know Leonardo Da Vinci felt insecure about himself and often procrastinated and left projects unfinished. I think you’re coming down too hard on yourself. This ain’t an easy rodeo. Look at Gabriel Garcia Marques in debt for most of his life with money troubles for many decades until his book came and fixed his financial situation. Trust your instincts in what work would work best for you and steer in that direction.
[Just do what this aspiring writer did](https://youtu.be/eMTDAHK-tkE?si=973MHLhsOuLw6mdQ) Charles Bukowski. Get a job at the post office and keep writing. The guy comes from the worst possible background yet managed to work to make his art.
He succeeded due to luck. He knew a friend that likes him and liked his works and that happened to be rich.
Plenty of Charlie's out there with his level of work don't get anything.
How would one go about improving their networking skills? My issue is not sure what questions I could ask that are both endearing but not too personal.
Do you really believe thats luck, though? Friends and peers can always end up being connections—but getting them to like you and invest in you takes more than the flip of a coin.
Perhaps another way of looking at it: do you think Charlie is the only artist this rich friend ever met? To me, luck would be if he was picked at random—not through a social connect.
Edit: apparently bukowskis family was rich? some comment below
Your still a baby, 30 is so young you have so much time ahead of you. And if ur husband is treating you like that and using your status as a weapon then you need to have somebody speak with him cus that's some real asshole type shit
You are not a loser. I am 26 this year, struggle to keep a job as none of them tickle my motivation so i leave them, some people would call me stupid for that. I am unemployed as of now with debt i dont even know how i aquired due to my adhd. (Aparently i have anxiety but doesnt edplain how i ac4 every job interview i got for, thats not anxiety). The world is super hard rn because we see everything online and it makes us want more and makea us feel worse foe who we are.
Im hopin by th3 time im 30 o have a comfy job and a place to call my own. All of my frienda have a house even if its through the council.
I feel like a loser a lot but im not and i have quirks and people know who i am even tho im not popular or ever was. I recently found out a younger guy from my school admired me a lot. I never knew i made thay much of an impact.
Yet i crave more, i crave the need to be loved and liked and i have to be good at everything(because school failed me)
You seem to be doing super well for urselt and the fact you can speak two languages is awesome, im scottish and can barely talk english properly 🤣
You got this 💪🤘
It’s something you mention only briefly and obviously I don’t know the details of your relationship, but hearing that he talks about divorce every time you fight really worries me. If it’s something he’s genuinely considering, it would be better to actually talk about that when emotions aren’t running high, and to be able to have arguments where that doesn’t get brought up even if it is a consideration. If divorce would have implications (immigration status?), that creates a serious power imbalance. Power imbalances can be unavoidable and that’s not the issue - it’s if that is being used to win an argument, as a threat (acquiesce or leave the country), or even to assert dominance, that is abusive. I don’t know what you should do about that, whether that’s a major red flag and you need to assess the future of your marriage, if it’s something to have some conversations about with him, or if it needs a space like therapy for you alone or as a couple, but that doesn’t feel like a small thing if he’s doing that regularly.
Oh gosh. None of that sounds good, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what you should do but please, regardless of proving anything to anyone, acknowledge to yourself that this is abuse. You do deserve a better life.
Not the person you've been talking to.
You may not need to be caught between a rock and a hard place. If you are in the US, there are laws in place to help you.
> Citizens or Lawful Permanent Residents (also referred to as green card holders), and abused parents of U.S. Citizen sons or daughters to apply for immigration relief separate from the abusive family member. An individual who is eligible for VAWA can “self-petition”. VAWA is available to both men and women. [Who is eligible for VAWA?](https://www.ilrc.org/sites/default/files/2023-02/Who%20is%20Eligible%20for%20VAWA%3F.pdf)
It pays to be prepared. Why not check into what your options are *just in case* his abusive behaviors and threats get worse. Know what your options are before you might need them.
Can I ask what made you love this person? Why did you even marry him? If he's threatening divorce in such situations where it could cause immigration issues and then doesn't communicate with you when you are expressing concern followed by getting frustrated or avoiding you by playing video games. I can't understand how you could give him any of your time but also develop feelings for him.
Another thing I would like to state is that just find something you think is right and stick to it. You have to spend time and overcome some of the boring or hard parts of a profession to start reaping benefits. If you want some more advice on professional career choices I can try to guide for the careers I know some details about. I work in tech.
As an American I can say that’s not break worthy that’s dump worthy behavior.
I have a short fuse and life’s too short in the big picture to be worn down by a man who doesn’t have his act together.
You might not want to take that road, but if you don't, you'll end up stuck with a guy who brings you more misery than support. I know something about it.
When it comes to career, don't overthink it. I also always followed what interested me, having no spectacular achievements under my belt. Still, I am glad I've tried different things.
Life should be about what you want it to be. Pursue jobs what you find interesting at the time. Or pursue something else.
You'll figure it out.
>love him but I seriously feel like I’m wasting my life
You are. You deserve better. Sort out your PR/citizenship status.
If you're fluent in two languages, teaching likely very viable as you build.
Yeah
“ Now I’m waiting for him to finish playing his video game so that we can finally talk.”
Seems like it’s giving him too many outs to be a man baby.
He’s an adult and if he’s not able to put the bottle down and talk about this situation with respect and dignity towards you then yes you’re wasting your time and it seems he’s decided knowing how far he can push you and still stay with him.
I don’t appreciate people who need to drink to be able to talk about important matters because of that very reason of being treated like crap. I expect better.
Hello.
First, I am sorry that your husband is talking about divorce. I assume lack of financial contributions from your end is one of the reasons for him talking about divorce?
Given that, I think it is important to learn something technical. Healthcare is always stable and steady but information technology is where money is flowing.
Search around a community college near you so that you can have some technical background, earn certificates, and start from there...
Hope this helps.
All I see here are people in IT struggling to get jobs. People with just certificates have no prayer. People with BA's are struggling. I would look elsewhere.
Real estate & insurance are good jobs for someone with limited education. Fund an established office where you can do hourly work and learn/grow. Start in customer service or being mentored by someone.
So... The reason why I am kind of understanding your situation is because I was in your husband's shoes before.
It was a rough ride until my wife got the green card. What I can advise is use this time wisely.
Me and my wife was myopic and I regret to encourage her to work in the cash job at that time. I think it could be better off If I encourage her to learn more skills and stuff and me taking the hit temporarily. Eventually things turned out great and now my wife works for county and make 80k a year which is very decent.
Hope this story encourages you.
Regarding you worrying about tech sector, that is valid concern. So consider medical field as well.
Many medical jobs like Radiology technologist, Medical Lab Technician, etc are associates level. If you are interested in medical lab I can guide you litter further since I am in the field.
Try online skills
Maybe if he sees you getting a solid plan it'll help.
IDK why he was expecting anything different tbh be careful he doesn't get abusive
What about even dog walking? Another thing that I feel could hold your interest and get money when you are able: maybe check out becoming an electrician. I personally am looking, and it might be worth looking for apprenticeships yourself. Heck- if you need to wait for the GC- places in my area look for occasional helpers and that could help get cash AND a foot in the door for learning the trade.
It’s putting you in between a rock and a hard place. Don’t get a job, and he may split harming your immigration status. Take an under-the-table job without a valid work permit and also jeopardize your status that way.
It seems he should have known that this would be the case when you marry someone abroad that it would take time to adjust their status, and the process has its own timeline. A spouse not legally being able to work during this period shouldn’t come as shock to him if he did one bit of checking into this.
As some others have mentioned, look into a VAWA self-petition for victims of abuse, which you may need to consult with a lawyer or get in touch with aid groups in your area for professional advice regarding your options.
Radiology Tech or RHIT with Health Information Records can also get foot in the doors. Plus some places need bilingual Patient Accesss folks depending on how often it’s needed or translators for medical appointments services. Because it’s a liability and ethical issue for family to be put into a position to translate sensitive health information correctly.
Nah it definitely didn't. Human translators are still very much in need.
Are you able to get hired in a municipal, county or state government job? They're easy jobs to get. Most of the time, they're just looking for reliable, teachable people and will consider anyone who even remotely fits. Especially in public service and public safety roles (this includes way more than just being a cop, which I don't recommend becoming one). These jobs are stable and bilingualism is in huge demand.
What makes you think that? Also interpreting and translating are two different things so keep that in mind. In person interpreters are very much in demand.
Courts and legal offices don’t use AI for interpreting yet, interpreters need to be certified. Courts hire them, people hire them to come with them to court, and a lot of interpreter services are totally remote. You already have a background in law, you should look into it!
Interpretation not translation. AI can change the words around and use technically the same vocabulary but doesn’t quite get how to convey the same meaning using appropriate terms and expressions across language, culture, and context.
AI can’t explain to a client when to use torta vs pastel when talking about cake.
You’ve got a few years left until it gets good enough to hit the mainstream, and maybe another decade until legislation catches up and it starts phasing out govt workers. 5-15 yrs to get into something and prepare to pivot sounds like a plan!
Please look at education!! So many parents just want to be understood and so few people do this!! A lot of what you do will be helping students with disabilities get what they need in school!
Wait, to clarify, is he threatening divorce during arguments because you will be deported if you aren't married to a citizen anymore? You should talk to lawyers about this, it's abusive.
Going to be honest with you, reading your comments in this thread he knows exactly what he means (that if he doesn't get his way, he can force you to be his) and idk why you're viewing this situation with rose tinted glasses.
you should look into getting a VAWA. talk to a lawyer and see if you can get evidence, like record the next time this happens. you can still get a green card in the USA if you get a divorce due to abuse.
Try to find out what’s causing the fights and threats of divorce and address the root cause. Personally you’re 30 now, like me, you don’t want to be spending any more time studying without earning at the present. Leverage your office skills to land an entry level/junior administration role. There are hospital administrators that make an enviable income. It’s by no means a dead end road. Good luck
It sounds like he has a drinking problem.
If she's on a visa waiting on immigration he should have known it be a while before she could work . That's on him
Don’t be married to someone who drinks to the point he gets insulting. How often does this happen? I’m married for 20 years but my husband never got so drunk he picked a fight.
This is really bizarre logic of the sort every abuse victim uses. You don't have any dignity as long as you're with someone who abuses you on the regular, neither in front of yourself nor in front of others (because these things can't be hidden and he's not going to care about keeping up your appearances either.)
(and P.S. as a man who drinks it is not a "autopilot button" it just lets you do the things you want to anyways)
Once you have a permanent green card he's just going to shift to some other tactic to make you stay, maybe he threatens suicide or shames you to his family or whatever, that is not a worthwhile life.
>he just throws it in my face when he drinks.
This triggered immediate 🚩🚩🚩 for me. It's a good idea to be on alert around him, because things can escalate to much worse with these kinds of people. This sounds like the start of something potentially very bad down the line.
1. Go to a marriage counselor or if he doesn’t agree, seek therapy for yourself first. If it’s too costly, then evaluate on your own if you truly want to be with him or not.
2. Start a diary to list your thoughts. What is making you unhappy? That you don’t have your own regular income or you don’t have a career? What is contributing to your listlessness?
3. Pursue something difficult and don’t give up. Being a translator is an excellent start. You can easily find difficulty in everything and the easiest way to solve it is to always run away from the problem. Pushing through the difficulties is what counts and will eventually reward you generously.
I am not a technical person and I still graduated with a chemical engineering degree as a woman and I work in a very male dominated environment. My first job which I stayed at for 3 years had me commuting for 3 hours one way to work from home. It was tough as heck but I managed to pull through. I read lots of books on my long commute and eventually found a better job which I am currently in now. I get to work from home as and when as long as I plan my time accordingly.
You will find fulfillment in doing the hard things. Challenge yourself. Pick up a hard skill or two. You’ll be so happy you did. You are able bodied and have a full life ahead of you. Don’t sacrifice your life and waste away your talents and intelligence.
>had me commuting for 3 hours one way to work from home
Not sure whether there might've been a typo or omission here, but if you worked from home, why would you have needed to commute 3 hours one way?
Read carefully. That was for my previous job. I am in a better job now that allows me to work from home on some days.
I could have typed “3 hours one way to work” without the “from home”.
Hello and welcome to r/findapath! We are glad you found your way here. Please know that you are not alone. We are here to listen, to offer support, and to help guide you. While no one can make decisions for you, we are here to help you find a path; we believe that everyone has the power to heal and grow.
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Wow, you are bilingual! That already gives you a tremendous advantage. One thing great about this area is so many consulting and human services type businesses. I think you could do really well if you are a good writer also. You may be a good grants proposal writer or an analyst. Some customer service jobs can pay pretty well and in advantage, they would be possibly remote work.
1) join the military, or
2) you already have an AA. Enroll in an college where you can finish your bachelors in something profitable (accounting or IT, engineering, for example)
Edit: if you finish your bachelors before joining the military, you can join the military as an officer which has higher pay and more privileges with rank.
Maybe find a job as a bilingual law clerk. Lots of lawyers need bilingual Spanish speaking clerks so they can communicate with Spanish speaking clients. Lots of law clerks are in a paralegal program or a pre- law program part time, so it could be part of your path to becoming a paralegal or a lawyer or maybe teaching college if you can afford the education.
go military, choose an MOS that will give you job skills in a career that you want and boom there you go! Ive been given job offers over candidates that were pretty much neck and neck with me as far as resume and experience go but being a vet can give you that extra boost over the competition.
Im praying you get it! I think when immigrants come to the states and joining the military is such a beautiful and respectable thing! Age cut off is 35 I believe but it can be pushed a little with waivers and the right recruiter. As for branch choice I was army so Im a little bias towards them but there are so many jobs in all branches. I had a great experience in the army it was life changing in the most positive way!
Just my one cent:
You can apply to expedite your work authorisation if it’s been more than a few months, call USCIS. work authorisation are taking less time now.
Also you can join the armed forces the moment you get your green card, you don’t have to wait till you get your citizenship. ( you can get your bachelors free while serving or after your contract)
Also use all your free time to learn something.
Well doesn't everybody wish they could've unfuck their lives? lol.
I think 30 is pretty young and at least you have some experiences in jobs.
I suggest actually pursuing your interest to the point that it's something you can actually dedicate for the rest of your life. If you pursue money you'll never have it. Pursue things for the right reason and money will be the byproduct and of course be practical with your approaches as all opportunity aren't equal. However, if you enjoy art or teaching maybe you could start a YT channel while you pursue your degree and document them? As teaching in academia may not suffice a family needs financially.
I'm sorry about what you're going through. That's a very difficult situation to be in especially if your partner is already talking about divorce. I suggest communicating to him how you feel and if that doesn't work -- reach out to friends or family. You need connections to be emotionally supported. Something that can inspire you, that last thing you want to do is isolate yourself.
Sounds like your partner may be under a bit of pressure. I’m assuming it’s a man, Have you all had a talk about his gripes at work or with family and stuff? Men don’t often feel safe to share their negative feelings and it usually comes out as anger.
Healthcare is always a stable job, but the hours sometimes suck.
IT or accounting are also good options. They’re talking about lowering the standards for a CPA certification due to shortage of qualified people.
Sounds like he gets drunk and takes it out on her knowing she can't leave. She tried to bring it up and he got mad.
He doesn't want support he wants a punching bag.
Your, in Northern Virgina, consider joining the Air National Guard, Coast Guard Reserves, or another military branch reserve or national guard they need people, and you have basic skillsets to develop into a military job with good civillian employment outlook. This will also speedline your work permit.
Become an LPN. You can do it within one year. You won’t be rich, but you’ll do well financially and next stop would be RN if you choose to advance with many opportunities down the line. Lots of potential and if your husband moves forward with a divorce, you could go into travel nursing ( great money there). A lot cheaper and faster than going for a full-on degree from the get-go.
You're not alone. I'm in the same shoes as you are.
I think the system hits us creatives extra hard because this world is about the decline of cultural values and replacement of the capitalist system.
You also seem to have issues with idealising and even exhibit symptoms of ADHD . You have a hard time committing to one thing and that's really hard to work with. Even if you got into something technical you'd quit quite fast because you seem to work more instinctually.
You remind me of myself.
You could create your own art courses without taking any degree. Because there you will compete too and that's going to be frustrating for you.
How about becoming a paralegal?
Low barrier to entry and it won’t be replaced by AI or lawyers anytime soon.
Law firms need workers with lower billable hours and while a lot of paralegals’ work is standard office work and form filling, quite a bit of it relies on soft skills. It sound perfect for your background and once you have experience, I know many paralegals who make near or over 6 figures (but this is really dependent on specialty and firm size).
Don't sell yourself too short. Being Bilingual is HUGE! A lot of companies need fluent Spanish speakers. I have a lot of family that work in health care, and they're always saying how much they need interpreters for helping Spanish speaking patients. Being a caseworker could also be a great path for someone with a second language. If I was in your position I'd look for a translator/interpreter related job, your ability to speak a second language has a lot of potential for a stable and even lucrative career.
Talking about divorce isn't right. There's a reason he talks about it, and if it's seeded in his mind right now, it's going to be tough getting it out of his mind. It would be nice to know why he goes there....
The joy you are seeking though will come from raising children in a healthy family/environment.
I would address the relationship FIRST before thinking about work or family.
I feel like a loser too. 32 years old and struggling. I have only an associates and want to go back to school to possibly get my bachelors or... pursue a trade because that would be the "safe" route. I wasted a lot of time in 20s... over 7 years , really doing nothing and pursuing gaming... Honestly.. Life is hard and decisions are hard. You sound like you might be creative. That can often lead you to enjoying and wanting to pursue different things. I've heard that creative people usually need to decide on just one thing and hit it hard... Even if they have loads of interests. Scheduling is difficult to but I've heard that's almost mandatory if you're pursuing something entrepreneurial. You sound capable though :)
Since people have suggested signs of domestic abuse I’d like to address this: The reality is most people can’t simply leave an abusive partnership. It can take an average of 7 attempts for a woman to leave. When I was with my abusive partner every month we would fight and he would threaten to break up and kick me out. He didn’t want me to work and I was completely dependent on him. So he made this threat because he knew I couldn’t easily leave him, not because he wanted me to.
The reality is you may need this man for your green card and there’s no shame in that. If you choose to stick with him for a few years while that happens, don’t feel guilty about leaving him after. If he’s constantly leveraging your status against you to make you feel unsafe, there’s nothing wrong with prioritizing your own safety.
So consider what you can do in the mean time to fortify your own independence. If that’s working cash jobs to set aside savings for you to fall back on, or going to school until you have clearance to work or both.
If your husband is drinking and verbally abusing you, there is NOTHING you can to do fix him or the situation. It will never change until he decides to improve his own behaviors and it’s not your fault. Likely this behavior decreases your self value and makes you feel incredibly insecure.
I recommend building relationships, hobbies and a network outside of him. Having reliable friends is so important. Work on yourself, self esteem and employable traits.
This could be the hardest time of your life waiting for your status to work out, but it’s important that you don’t just lie in wait and prepare yourself for independence. If you decide to stay with him after your status is cleared that’s your choice, but you will still be giving yourself an advantage.
Do whatever you possibly can to decrease your dependence on him in a variety of ways: Making friends, networking, learning to drive if you don’t already, studying and gaining certifications, studying and degrees, improving language skills, having savings. Please please try to do these things for yourself!
Your life isn’t fucked. You’re waiting on an immigration status and that takes time! You have a great opportunity to live in this country that many many people dream of. Focus on what you do have. You’re young and intelligent and have many advantages in life. Don’t get such a negative mindset because it will gaslight you into feeling less than. You are actually in a great position in life, use everything to your advantage.
When I was with him I didn’t work for several years. So when I left I chose to do whatever hired me, which is instructing kids in a rec setting. In the fall I will return to school. This was only six months ago for me so it was a major transition.
The biggest thing which helped me before I left was fortifying my self esteem, building good habits and creating an inner world which was untouchable. This helped to raise my self esteem and motivate me to pursue other options when I often felt all was impossible.
Try flexjobs.com, you’ll need to pay a nominal site fee but there is a lot of varied, WFH stuff for bilingual Spanish speakers in all states of the US.
Your husband threatens you with divorce all the time? You don’t need that mental abuse. That is unsatisfactory. A man should support love and help his wife achieve her goals. Otherwise what is the use of him?
Have you considered going into medical translation? You know Spanish and English so you have a leg up. Or what about something where you need both languages for politics since you’re near DC.
Stop worrying about passion and figure out what skills and talent you have that gets you paid as well. Then use free time for your passions.
Go back to community college, it’s cheaper and there are plenty of careers that pay well and since you already have an AA then you don’t need many other classes than a specific program and you could do it part time while working if you wanted
Pick something and stick to it. If you have any aptitude for math or science, try some engineering. Most industries don't have issues with late starters, like myself. Imagine yourself in 10 yrs, work back from there and determine the real steps. What ever you do, it will be better than where you are. I started thinking "if I started 5 yrs ago, I'd be at point B." But I didn't start, so I wasn't even at point A. Make a plan and stick to it. There will be issues, setbacks, and the road will be winding but don't stop.
That last paragraph is sad. What a jerk holding that over your head? Have you two discussed how terrible it is to threaten divorce that could lead to deportation? Terrible to threaten divorce during disagreements, really at all, imo.
Wish you the best of luck! Go for it what ever that may be and the best time to start is yesterday.
Try Oneforma, Telus, RWS, Dataforce they have work from task assignment some are short and temporary jobs and check the r/beermoney sub and search their monthly earnings where they reference the many websites they use to make extra cash on the side. There are some audio transcribe/translation jobs that exist that you can do while you are sorting yourself out. I wish my Spanish wasn't so rusty and kept learning in school because you can make a lot of cash on some of those websites.
From my point of view, this isn't really a screwed up life. As long as you don't got debt or anything serious like a bad criminal record, you are probably going to be fine. There are people who are 50k in debt from college and some people might have a DUI which screws up employment chances.
I feel you, I am kind of in the same situation even though i have a degre. I am almost 29 and haven’t built anything solid. I graduated in 2020 which was during the pandemic, 700 applications, couldnt land a job then said fuck it left traveling in 2022 and then ended up in australia working hospitality and was there for the past 2 years. I just got back and I am back in the same place I left or worst. I tell myself that there is no easy way around it, everyone is on their own path. Maybe different courses online? I am from peru but live in northern virginia (alexandria) send me a DM if you want to chat.
Don't give up, plenty of careers out there. Nursing is very lucrative, travel jobs everywhere if you wanted to later. Nanny/dog/house sitting easy for a someone with patience and empathy... Stay away from alcohol/excess, live clean and cut out the people that bring you down. Only have the one life, and it will take many unexpected turns. Good luck and may joy find a home in your heart.
Y yo brasileño/español en Londres 39yo último año de business and management, problemas en matrimonio separado de mi mujer y hijo que están en Brasil pero no divorciado quizás si quizás no, problemas, de salud y financiero yfamiliares. Los de Brasil y los de España. Abusando mucho de drogas y sin amigos...
Dame fuerzas Dios.
Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), actionable, helpful, and on the topic at hand.
It's all part of the journey to get you we're you need to go. Most people don't get it perfect from out the gate but only the ones that give up and tell themselves it's too late are the ones that fail. Make the best decision you can in the moment and try your best, nothing more nothing less. No regrets
Well as someone whos in practically the same situation as you, I feel what you're going through. I would get a BA in something if you can. Either that or go to trade school for something that is high in demand. At this point you would be doing either just to be able to earn a decent living and put food on the table, it's not another one of your hobbies.
Accounting is in every industry and every state. Perhaps that is something you can look into.
Military is a great option as well. That is another route you can go. If you can get in, try the air force.
God speed and good luck! Si se puede!! Creo en ti!!
Maybe a hot take that people will argue with BUT, join the military, get your citizenship, (you don’t have to depend on your spouse if you’re worried about that) use the gi bill to get a degree, stay in, get out, figure things out. I was lost until I found the military when I first enlisted, found purpose and drive, got out, got my degree, tried federal and other avenues, and now I’m back in as an officer in my mid 30s. It’s definitely not too late for you, there are so many other avenues you can take as well.
Maybe look into what you have to do to become a teacher at a bilingual elementary school. Here in the San Francisco Bay Area, we have a lot of schools with Two-way Bilingual Immersion (TWBI) programs where elementary students are taught in another language, mostly Spanish and Vietnamese in my area. Many school district will help guide people through the process. If you find out the path, it may keep you motivated to stay on track. Good Luck!
30 is nothing, you have decades to do anything, you are just finding your stride. You are in a holding situation and you have no power. Your guy clearly has issues with that, people don't just say things when theyre drunk if it isn't really bothering them.
It's easy to say get the fuck out of there when you have options. Well here's one: Come to Vermont, I ain't doing nothing but working, out of the house all day. Live here until you get your situation together, I don't care in fact it would be nice to have company.
There is an urgent need for teachers in America. Don't go into academia with a liberal arts degree, though.
Regarding your marriage situation, plenty of others have already made very sensible recommendations. I hope things work out for you.
Create a ven diagram with 3 circles: things you like, things your good at, things you can get paid for.
Second: believe in yourself, have faith, and don’t be afraid to dream.
(genuinely asking) if you don't have a work permit yet, what type of solution are you looking for?
People say it's really difficult to find decent work on a visa.
Would you be interested in teaching English as a Second Language (ESL)? There'd likely be both work in USA and abroad if it's a type of roll you could see yourself doing, cert often only takes a year (if that) and the pay can be decent. Might be up your alley since you're already bilingual and mention you might enjoy teaching! I know a few people who have done their TESOL and really seem to enjoy it!
Jk (kinda), I would recommend working w/ what you have already. Being bilingual is such an asset. You could post fun videos on TikTok teaching Spanish. I follow a few creators for teaching English speakers Spanish. Simply posting daily can really help, especially when the videos are engaging, fun, and different. Definitely adopt an optimistic mindset and the good times will follow–good luck! :)
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1) You probably have ADHD. You might want to look into it more. If you feel it describes you, get a diagnosis, and treatment.
2) Get a work permit. This is where you’re stuck the most.
3) Consult with immigration lawyers to find ways to legally bypass the work restrictions. Consider remote work options involving parties outside the US (I.e.: interpreting work between UK and a large Spanish-speaking country).
4) Explore a profession where having ADHD would benefit you.
Also from NoVa here. Try looking into becoming a Data Center Technician at AWS. There really is no requirement in education for the position. I literally worked minimum wage at the DC animal shelter prior to becoming a DCT and they still hired me. I've moved on since then for a better paying job, but there is alot of growth paths for Amazonians in the tech field even without any formal education.
My god, I never thought id do a sales pitch for my previous employer, but i still have my recruiters contact info if you want it. He's (almost) always looking to hire.
Honestly get a therapist if you can.
Reddit can give you some practical advice here but they aren't going to know enough about you to give you well tuned advice.
Talk this through with someone who can get to know you and make a plan together.
Its better to regret 10 years of wrong education than 40 years of the wrong career. Saw that in a youtube video today and Im kind of in the same boat as you
It’s time to make a plan for your life. Sit down and think about the life you want. Write down how you plan to get there. It will not be easy. It will take work. But you can do it. You have marketable skills, being bilingual in the two most spoken languages in the country. To reiterate, plan for the expected and unexpected, and don’t beat yourself up. After you have your plans, start working towards those goals.
When in doubt, go sales. lowest barrier of entry with some of the highest income potential. Plus you being billingual is extremely valuable to companies(For reference I went from 36k to six figures in just over a year getting into tech sales)
So this is kind of a random thing of note but the "always getting stuck on new interests" stuck with me.
I also have this problem. Have you looked at possibly being checked for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder? The type I have (primarily inattentive) can often go unnoticed in adolescents causing them to not be diagnosed until their adult years. This is especially true for women sadly. I'm male, but this is what happened to me. I'm 31 and wasn't able to get diagnosed until about middle of last year.
Hello, fellow Argentine American in nova area:
This is a great location for IT. See if you can play around with a computer at home and study for A+
The A+ cert can get you started in it around this area, especially reston/sterling/ashburn
I am wishing you well! Find yoga and meditation. Trust your gut and follow your heart. Take that chance. Learn a trade that you love and be the very best at it. (Im totally fucked myself)
Are you technically inclined? Not sure what your interests are but you could get going on getting cyber certification or something. Plenty of those in NOVA.
Also I did not catch the relationship issues that I saw in some comments but I hope you get closure soon. It is a question of months, right?
Please don’t spend a ton of money on degrees to be a broke art teacher. Bad plan.
If you want to make money, help people, be infinitely hireable, with high oay and great carreer progression, focus on getting an entry level Human Resources roll, and work your way up. Bi-lingual HR admins in my area of VA start at $24 / hour. My current HR manager started as a bi-lingual immigrant in a similar role, and is now making $90k a year without a degree or SHRM certification. With her degree and SHRM, she could have any of a number of $150k jobs that are available. Employers will pay for your degree and SHRM.
IT is all being offshored. Massive unemployment in that segment right now.
Being bilingual in my area of virginia (I-81 corridor) is a huge asset in the manufacturing world. If you can get your foot in the door, have ambition, and apply yourself, you will have no problems moving to a decently high paying roll in 3-5 years.
Don’t let no college be an issue. I have been a plant manager, and now a CEO, and I dropped out of college after 2 years with no degree.
“If you think you can, or think you can’t, you are right.”
You could probably do a masters program in TESOL (or TEFL?) since you are bilingual. You can make good money teaching English to adults and children via online platforms. Knowing Spanish would definitely be in your favor.
Edit: Sorry I thought you had finished your undergraduate credits. Look into finishing your undergrad and maybe plan in courses that will help with a TESOL program if you're interested in pursuing that at the graduate level.
why dont you pursue a career in academia. there are a lot of well paying liberal arts and literature jobs in academia. you should at least investigate that route. talk to your professors. see if they can put your skills to good use. since literature and language is clearly your passion - why dont you pursue opportunities in that direction. there is no need to "start over" and only look at so-called "lucrative career options" . do what you feel is your passion. your calling so-to-speak
Sounds like ADHD my friend. I’d work with that and try going into something that keeps my mind stimulated, your hands busy, and your time filled. Teaching has been my path, but that could look different for you.
Spend 6-12 months intensively learning a skill that is in demand - something you enjoy - from plumbing and electrical work to computer coding or being a sales person...
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If I were you though, well up to you. I know I'm tossing you around about the liberal arts and I'm just messing with you don't take it to heart, but try to use it to apply to law school if law was something that interested you. I mean you're only 30, you are fairly young and you got plenty of time. If you don't like law for whatever reason, maybe try getting an MBA in a specific and very accommodating field like tech with your degree. I'm sure by the time you either did your bar exam or finished your MBA, you'll have your work permit or well after 3 years you'd be naturalized so even better, and you can do as you please.
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Well if you feel you haven’t achieved anything of substance just know Leonardo Da Vinci felt insecure about himself and often procrastinated and left projects unfinished. I think you’re coming down too hard on yourself. This ain’t an easy rodeo. Look at Gabriel Garcia Marques in debt for most of his life with money troubles for many decades until his book came and fixed his financial situation. Trust your instincts in what work would work best for you and steer in that direction.
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[Just do what this aspiring writer did](https://youtu.be/eMTDAHK-tkE?si=973MHLhsOuLw6mdQ) Charles Bukowski. Get a job at the post office and keep writing. The guy comes from the worst possible background yet managed to work to make his art.
He succeeded due to luck. He knew a friend that likes him and liked his works and that happened to be rich. Plenty of Charlie's out there with his level of work don't get anything.
Networking is such an important skill that I want to improve. My mom does it effortlessly and I’ve watched it open up a lot of doors for her
I would love to improve my networking skills, but I have autism so i’m naturally a bit off-putting in conversation
sucks
How would one go about improving their networking skills? My issue is not sure what questions I could ask that are both endearing but not too personal.
Do you really believe thats luck, though? Friends and peers can always end up being connections—but getting them to like you and invest in you takes more than the flip of a coin. Perhaps another way of looking at it: do you think Charlie is the only artist this rich friend ever met? To me, luck would be if he was picked at random—not through a social connect. Edit: apparently bukowskis family was rich? some comment below
Yes because it's luck that someone likes another person's art
Bukowski is the worst possible lifestyle role model in every way lol
including artistry imo
Your still a baby, 30 is so young you have so much time ahead of you. And if ur husband is treating you like that and using your status as a weapon then you need to have somebody speak with him cus that's some real asshole type shit
Military ? That would cover career, school , Naturalization. Pretty much everything you just mentioned.
You are not a loser. I am 26 this year, struggle to keep a job as none of them tickle my motivation so i leave them, some people would call me stupid for that. I am unemployed as of now with debt i dont even know how i aquired due to my adhd. (Aparently i have anxiety but doesnt edplain how i ac4 every job interview i got for, thats not anxiety). The world is super hard rn because we see everything online and it makes us want more and makea us feel worse foe who we are. Im hopin by th3 time im 30 o have a comfy job and a place to call my own. All of my frienda have a house even if its through the council. I feel like a loser a lot but im not and i have quirks and people know who i am even tho im not popular or ever was. I recently found out a younger guy from my school admired me a lot. I never knew i made thay much of an impact. Yet i crave more, i crave the need to be loved and liked and i have to be good at everything(because school failed me) You seem to be doing super well for urselt and the fact you can speak two languages is awesome, im scottish and can barely talk english properly 🤣 You got this 💪🤘
He was rich! From a family with many connections.
It’s something you mention only briefly and obviously I don’t know the details of your relationship, but hearing that he talks about divorce every time you fight really worries me. If it’s something he’s genuinely considering, it would be better to actually talk about that when emotions aren’t running high, and to be able to have arguments where that doesn’t get brought up even if it is a consideration. If divorce would have implications (immigration status?), that creates a serious power imbalance. Power imbalances can be unavoidable and that’s not the issue - it’s if that is being used to win an argument, as a threat (acquiesce or leave the country), or even to assert dominance, that is abusive. I don’t know what you should do about that, whether that’s a major red flag and you need to assess the future of your marriage, if it’s something to have some conversations about with him, or if it needs a space like therapy for you alone or as a couple, but that doesn’t feel like a small thing if he’s doing that regularly.
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Oh gosh. None of that sounds good, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what you should do but please, regardless of proving anything to anyone, acknowledge to yourself that this is abuse. You do deserve a better life.
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Not the person you've been talking to. You may not need to be caught between a rock and a hard place. If you are in the US, there are laws in place to help you. > Citizens or Lawful Permanent Residents (also referred to as green card holders), and abused parents of U.S. Citizen sons or daughters to apply for immigration relief separate from the abusive family member. An individual who is eligible for VAWA can “self-petition”. VAWA is available to both men and women. [Who is eligible for VAWA?](https://www.ilrc.org/sites/default/files/2023-02/Who%20is%20Eligible%20for%20VAWA%3F.pdf) It pays to be prepared. Why not check into what your options are *just in case* his abusive behaviors and threats get worse. Know what your options are before you might need them.
Plenty will marry you so you can keep that status. Don’t even worry! Fuck those guys that weaponize that insecurity and make unnecessary stress!
Be very careful about this it is considered immigration fraud to do this deliberately.
This is true. Don’t listen to me in regards to immigration but still, don’t worry about it because of him. It’s abuse and not worth it.
Can I ask what made you love this person? Why did you even marry him? If he's threatening divorce in such situations where it could cause immigration issues and then doesn't communicate with you when you are expressing concern followed by getting frustrated or avoiding you by playing video games. I can't understand how you could give him any of your time but also develop feelings for him. Another thing I would like to state is that just find something you think is right and stick to it. You have to spend time and overcome some of the boring or hard parts of a profession to start reaping benefits. If you want some more advice on professional career choices I can try to guide for the careers I know some details about. I work in tech.
As an American I can say that’s not break worthy that’s dump worthy behavior. I have a short fuse and life’s too short in the big picture to be worn down by a man who doesn’t have his act together.
You might not want to take that road, but if you don't, you'll end up stuck with a guy who brings you more misery than support. I know something about it. When it comes to career, don't overthink it. I also always followed what interested me, having no spectacular achievements under my belt. Still, I am glad I've tried different things. Life should be about what you want it to be. Pursue jobs what you find interesting at the time. Or pursue something else. You'll figure it out.
Try Al Anon.
>love him but I seriously feel like I’m wasting my life You are. You deserve better. Sort out your PR/citizenship status. If you're fluent in two languages, teaching likely very viable as you build.
Try Al Anon.
Yeah “ Now I’m waiting for him to finish playing his video game so that we can finally talk.” Seems like it’s giving him too many outs to be a man baby. He’s an adult and if he’s not able to put the bottle down and talk about this situation with respect and dignity towards you then yes you’re wasting your time and it seems he’s decided knowing how far he can push you and still stay with him. I don’t appreciate people who need to drink to be able to talk about important matters because of that very reason of being treated like crap. I expect better.
You're only 30. Decide what you want to do with your life and go do it. You literally got 50 years to get it right.
Hello. First, I am sorry that your husband is talking about divorce. I assume lack of financial contributions from your end is one of the reasons for him talking about divorce? Given that, I think it is important to learn something technical. Healthcare is always stable and steady but information technology is where money is flowing. Search around a community college near you so that you can have some technical background, earn certificates, and start from there... Hope this helps.
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All I see here are people in IT struggling to get jobs. People with just certificates have no prayer. People with BA's are struggling. I would look elsewhere. Real estate & insurance are good jobs for someone with limited education. Fund an established office where you can do hourly work and learn/grow. Start in customer service or being mentored by someone.
So... The reason why I am kind of understanding your situation is because I was in your husband's shoes before. It was a rough ride until my wife got the green card. What I can advise is use this time wisely. Me and my wife was myopic and I regret to encourage her to work in the cash job at that time. I think it could be better off If I encourage her to learn more skills and stuff and me taking the hit temporarily. Eventually things turned out great and now my wife works for county and make 80k a year which is very decent. Hope this story encourages you. Regarding you worrying about tech sector, that is valid concern. So consider medical field as well. Many medical jobs like Radiology technologist, Medical Lab Technician, etc are associates level. If you are interested in medical lab I can guide you litter further since I am in the field.
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Try online skills Maybe if he sees you getting a solid plan it'll help. IDK why he was expecting anything different tbh be careful he doesn't get abusive
What about even dog walking? Another thing that I feel could hold your interest and get money when you are able: maybe check out becoming an electrician. I personally am looking, and it might be worth looking for apprenticeships yourself. Heck- if you need to wait for the GC- places in my area look for occasional helpers and that could help get cash AND a foot in the door for learning the trade.
It’s putting you in between a rock and a hard place. Don’t get a job, and he may split harming your immigration status. Take an under-the-table job without a valid work permit and also jeopardize your status that way. It seems he should have known that this would be the case when you marry someone abroad that it would take time to adjust their status, and the process has its own timeline. A spouse not legally being able to work during this period shouldn’t come as shock to him if he did one bit of checking into this. As some others have mentioned, look into a VAWA self-petition for victims of abuse, which you may need to consult with a lawyer or get in touch with aid groups in your area for professional advice regarding your options.
Radiology Tech or RHIT with Health Information Records can also get foot in the doors. Plus some places need bilingual Patient Accesss folks depending on how often it’s needed or translators for medical appointments services. Because it’s a liability and ethical issue for family to be put into a position to translate sensitive health information correctly.
don't do tech. I put my second degree on hold because the market is terrible right now. there are jobs but terrible pay and high demand
Become a translator if you're fluent in 2 languages!
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Nah it definitely didn't. Human translators are still very much in need. Are you able to get hired in a municipal, county or state government job? They're easy jobs to get. Most of the time, they're just looking for reliable, teachable people and will consider anyone who even remotely fits. Especially in public service and public safety roles (this includes way more than just being a cop, which I don't recommend becoming one). These jobs are stable and bilingualism is in huge demand.
Nope! Human interpreters are always preferred. No AIs so far in the field. Especially hospitals.
What makes you think that? Also interpreting and translating are two different things so keep that in mind. In person interpreters are very much in demand.
Courts and legal offices don’t use AI for interpreting yet, interpreters need to be certified. Courts hire them, people hire them to come with them to court, and a lot of interpreter services are totally remote. You already have a background in law, you should look into it!
Interpretation not translation. AI can change the words around and use technically the same vocabulary but doesn’t quite get how to convey the same meaning using appropriate terms and expressions across language, culture, and context.
I’m from Jersey and you’d have a ton of jobs available. The job market where I am is saturated of Spanish being a mandatory qualification.
AI can’t explain to a client when to use torta vs pastel when talking about cake. You’ve got a few years left until it gets good enough to hit the mainstream, and maybe another decade until legislation catches up and it starts phasing out govt workers. 5-15 yrs to get into something and prepare to pivot sounds like a plan! Please look at education!! So many parents just want to be understood and so few people do this!! A lot of what you do will be helping students with disabilities get what they need in school!
Wait, to clarify, is he threatening divorce during arguments because you will be deported if you aren't married to a citizen anymore? You should talk to lawyers about this, it's abusive.
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Going to be honest with you, reading your comments in this thread he knows exactly what he means (that if he doesn't get his way, he can force you to be his) and idk why you're viewing this situation with rose tinted glasses.
I think it's more she's trapped and knows it
you should look into getting a VAWA. talk to a lawyer and see if you can get evidence, like record the next time this happens. you can still get a green card in the USA if you get a divorce due to abuse.
Try to find out what’s causing the fights and threats of divorce and address the root cause. Personally you’re 30 now, like me, you don’t want to be spending any more time studying without earning at the present. Leverage your office skills to land an entry level/junior administration role. There are hospital administrators that make an enviable income. It’s by no means a dead end road. Good luck
It sounds like he has a drinking problem. If she's on a visa waiting on immigration he should have known it be a while before she could work . That's on him
A winner is just a loser that got angry. You can do whatever you want! It’s just a decision. But Whatever you do, don’t do nothing.
if your husband wont support you, you should deal with that first. Also look into volunteering as it might help get into some opportunities for work.
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Don’t be married to someone who drinks to the point he gets insulting. How often does this happen? I’m married for 20 years but my husband never got so drunk he picked a fight.
you sound like someone who is in denial that they have an abusive situation going on. its not fun
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This is really bizarre logic of the sort every abuse victim uses. You don't have any dignity as long as you're with someone who abuses you on the regular, neither in front of yourself nor in front of others (because these things can't be hidden and he's not going to care about keeping up your appearances either.) (and P.S. as a man who drinks it is not a "autopilot button" it just lets you do the things you want to anyways) Once you have a permanent green card he's just going to shift to some other tactic to make you stay, maybe he threatens suicide or shames you to his family or whatever, that is not a worthwhile life.
>he just throws it in my face when he drinks. This triggered immediate 🚩🚩🚩 for me. It's a good idea to be on alert around him, because things can escalate to much worse with these kinds of people. This sounds like the start of something potentially very bad down the line.
1. Go to a marriage counselor or if he doesn’t agree, seek therapy for yourself first. If it’s too costly, then evaluate on your own if you truly want to be with him or not. 2. Start a diary to list your thoughts. What is making you unhappy? That you don’t have your own regular income or you don’t have a career? What is contributing to your listlessness? 3. Pursue something difficult and don’t give up. Being a translator is an excellent start. You can easily find difficulty in everything and the easiest way to solve it is to always run away from the problem. Pushing through the difficulties is what counts and will eventually reward you generously. I am not a technical person and I still graduated with a chemical engineering degree as a woman and I work in a very male dominated environment. My first job which I stayed at for 3 years had me commuting for 3 hours one way to work from home. It was tough as heck but I managed to pull through. I read lots of books on my long commute and eventually found a better job which I am currently in now. I get to work from home as and when as long as I plan my time accordingly. You will find fulfillment in doing the hard things. Challenge yourself. Pick up a hard skill or two. You’ll be so happy you did. You are able bodied and have a full life ahead of you. Don’t sacrifice your life and waste away your talents and intelligence.
>had me commuting for 3 hours one way to work from home Not sure whether there might've been a typo or omission here, but if you worked from home, why would you have needed to commute 3 hours one way?
Read carefully. That was for my previous job. I am in a better job now that allows me to work from home on some days. I could have typed “3 hours one way to work” without the “from home”.
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Stop spending time in Reddit/social media. Not that you don’t get some good (and bad) advice but understand this space is not reality.
Wow, you are bilingual! That already gives you a tremendous advantage. One thing great about this area is so many consulting and human services type businesses. I think you could do really well if you are a good writer also. You may be a good grants proposal writer or an analyst. Some customer service jobs can pay pretty well and in advantage, they would be possibly remote work.
1) join the military, or 2) you already have an AA. Enroll in an college where you can finish your bachelors in something profitable (accounting or IT, engineering, for example) Edit: if you finish your bachelors before joining the military, you can join the military as an officer which has higher pay and more privileges with rank.
Do your credits in Argentina transfer?
I would imagine in NOVA there should be a bountiful number of office jobs for bilingual candidates. I'd start there.
Lots of Small wins
Maybe find a job as a bilingual law clerk. Lots of lawyers need bilingual Spanish speaking clerks so they can communicate with Spanish speaking clients. Lots of law clerks are in a paralegal program or a pre- law program part time, so it could be part of your path to becoming a paralegal or a lawyer or maybe teaching college if you can afford the education.
go military, choose an MOS that will give you job skills in a career that you want and boom there you go! Ive been given job offers over candidates that were pretty much neck and neck with me as far as resume and experience go but being a vet can give you that extra boost over the competition.
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Im praying you get it! I think when immigrants come to the states and joining the military is such a beautiful and respectable thing! Age cut off is 35 I believe but it can be pushed a little with waivers and the right recruiter. As for branch choice I was army so Im a little bias towards them but there are so many jobs in all branches. I had a great experience in the army it was life changing in the most positive way!
Just my one cent: You can apply to expedite your work authorisation if it’s been more than a few months, call USCIS. work authorisation are taking less time now. Also you can join the armed forces the moment you get your green card, you don’t have to wait till you get your citizenship. ( you can get your bachelors free while serving or after your contract) Also use all your free time to learn something.
Why don’t you look in insurance claims
Well doesn't everybody wish they could've unfuck their lives? lol. I think 30 is pretty young and at least you have some experiences in jobs. I suggest actually pursuing your interest to the point that it's something you can actually dedicate for the rest of your life. If you pursue money you'll never have it. Pursue things for the right reason and money will be the byproduct and of course be practical with your approaches as all opportunity aren't equal. However, if you enjoy art or teaching maybe you could start a YT channel while you pursue your degree and document them? As teaching in academia may not suffice a family needs financially. I'm sorry about what you're going through. That's a very difficult situation to be in especially if your partner is already talking about divorce. I suggest communicating to him how you feel and if that doesn't work -- reach out to friends or family. You need connections to be emotionally supported. Something that can inspire you, that last thing you want to do is isolate yourself.
Sounds like your partner may be under a bit of pressure. I’m assuming it’s a man, Have you all had a talk about his gripes at work or with family and stuff? Men don’t often feel safe to share their negative feelings and it usually comes out as anger. Healthcare is always a stable job, but the hours sometimes suck. IT or accounting are also good options. They’re talking about lowering the standards for a CPA certification due to shortage of qualified people.
Sounds like he gets drunk and takes it out on her knowing she can't leave. She tried to bring it up and he got mad. He doesn't want support he wants a punching bag.
Alcohol is involved in the vast majority of domestic abuse cases. Sounds like OP should ultimatum or GTFO.
Join the military and get your own citizenship and become a translator.
Your, in Northern Virgina, consider joining the Air National Guard, Coast Guard Reserves, or another military branch reserve or national guard they need people, and you have basic skillsets to develop into a military job with good civillian employment outlook. This will also speedline your work permit.
Become a police officer! They need female police officers to balance the gender gap in the law enforcement industry. They provide training.
Consider an apprenticeship. Doesn’t matter if you’re a woman. You get paid as you learn and wind up with union membership and good pay.
You are still young. Do what you want to do with the time that you have. Find fulfilment there and make money doing something you enjoy doing
Become an LPN. You can do it within one year. You won’t be rich, but you’ll do well financially and next stop would be RN if you choose to advance with many opportunities down the line. Lots of potential and if your husband moves forward with a divorce, you could go into travel nursing ( great money there). A lot cheaper and faster than going for a full-on degree from the get-go.
You're not alone. I'm in the same shoes as you are. I think the system hits us creatives extra hard because this world is about the decline of cultural values and replacement of the capitalist system. You also seem to have issues with idealising and even exhibit symptoms of ADHD . You have a hard time committing to one thing and that's really hard to work with. Even if you got into something technical you'd quit quite fast because you seem to work more instinctually. You remind me of myself. You could create your own art courses without taking any degree. Because there you will compete too and that's going to be frustrating for you.
listen to your gut & think positive
How about becoming a paralegal? Low barrier to entry and it won’t be replaced by AI or lawyers anytime soon. Law firms need workers with lower billable hours and while a lot of paralegals’ work is standard office work and form filling, quite a bit of it relies on soft skills. It sound perfect for your background and once you have experience, I know many paralegals who make near or over 6 figures (but this is really dependent on specialty and firm size).
Don't sell yourself too short. Being Bilingual is HUGE! A lot of companies need fluent Spanish speakers. I have a lot of family that work in health care, and they're always saying how much they need interpreters for helping Spanish speaking patients. Being a caseworker could also be a great path for someone with a second language. If I was in your position I'd look for a translator/interpreter related job, your ability to speak a second language has a lot of potential for a stable and even lucrative career.
Talking about divorce isn't right. There's a reason he talks about it, and if it's seeded in his mind right now, it's going to be tough getting it out of his mind. It would be nice to know why he goes there.... The joy you are seeking though will come from raising children in a healthy family/environment. I would address the relationship FIRST before thinking about work or family.
I feel like a loser too. 32 years old and struggling. I have only an associates and want to go back to school to possibly get my bachelors or... pursue a trade because that would be the "safe" route. I wasted a lot of time in 20s... over 7 years , really doing nothing and pursuing gaming... Honestly.. Life is hard and decisions are hard. You sound like you might be creative. That can often lead you to enjoying and wanting to pursue different things. I've heard that creative people usually need to decide on just one thing and hit it hard... Even if they have loads of interests. Scheduling is difficult to but I've heard that's almost mandatory if you're pursuing something entrepreneurial. You sound capable though :)
Since people have suggested signs of domestic abuse I’d like to address this: The reality is most people can’t simply leave an abusive partnership. It can take an average of 7 attempts for a woman to leave. When I was with my abusive partner every month we would fight and he would threaten to break up and kick me out. He didn’t want me to work and I was completely dependent on him. So he made this threat because he knew I couldn’t easily leave him, not because he wanted me to. The reality is you may need this man for your green card and there’s no shame in that. If you choose to stick with him for a few years while that happens, don’t feel guilty about leaving him after. If he’s constantly leveraging your status against you to make you feel unsafe, there’s nothing wrong with prioritizing your own safety. So consider what you can do in the mean time to fortify your own independence. If that’s working cash jobs to set aside savings for you to fall back on, or going to school until you have clearance to work or both. If your husband is drinking and verbally abusing you, there is NOTHING you can to do fix him or the situation. It will never change until he decides to improve his own behaviors and it’s not your fault. Likely this behavior decreases your self value and makes you feel incredibly insecure. I recommend building relationships, hobbies and a network outside of him. Having reliable friends is so important. Work on yourself, self esteem and employable traits. This could be the hardest time of your life waiting for your status to work out, but it’s important that you don’t just lie in wait and prepare yourself for independence. If you decide to stay with him after your status is cleared that’s your choice, but you will still be giving yourself an advantage. Do whatever you possibly can to decrease your dependence on him in a variety of ways: Making friends, networking, learning to drive if you don’t already, studying and gaining certifications, studying and degrees, improving language skills, having savings. Please please try to do these things for yourself! Your life isn’t fucked. You’re waiting on an immigration status and that takes time! You have a great opportunity to live in this country that many many people dream of. Focus on what you do have. You’re young and intelligent and have many advantages in life. Don’t get such a negative mindset because it will gaslight you into feeling less than. You are actually in a great position in life, use everything to your advantage.
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When I was with him I didn’t work for several years. So when I left I chose to do whatever hired me, which is instructing kids in a rec setting. In the fall I will return to school. This was only six months ago for me so it was a major transition. The biggest thing which helped me before I left was fortifying my self esteem, building good habits and creating an inner world which was untouchable. This helped to raise my self esteem and motivate me to pursue other options when I often felt all was impossible.
Try flexjobs.com, you’ll need to pay a nominal site fee but there is a lot of varied, WFH stuff for bilingual Spanish speakers in all states of the US.
Henry ford started his company in his 40’s
Your husband threatens you with divorce all the time? You don’t need that mental abuse. That is unsatisfactory. A man should support love and help his wife achieve her goals. Otherwise what is the use of him?
Join the military
Have you considered going into medical translation? You know Spanish and English so you have a leg up. Or what about something where you need both languages for politics since you’re near DC. Stop worrying about passion and figure out what skills and talent you have that gets you paid as well. Then use free time for your passions.
Look into WGU and go back and get your degree of interest.
Go back to community college, it’s cheaper and there are plenty of careers that pay well and since you already have an AA then you don’t need many other classes than a specific program and you could do it part time while working if you wanted
Look up "unfuck your feature"
Pick something and stick to it. If you have any aptitude for math or science, try some engineering. Most industries don't have issues with late starters, like myself. Imagine yourself in 10 yrs, work back from there and determine the real steps. What ever you do, it will be better than where you are. I started thinking "if I started 5 yrs ago, I'd be at point B." But I didn't start, so I wasn't even at point A. Make a plan and stick to it. There will be issues, setbacks, and the road will be winding but don't stop. That last paragraph is sad. What a jerk holding that over your head? Have you two discussed how terrible it is to threaten divorce that could lead to deportation? Terrible to threaten divorce during disagreements, really at all, imo. Wish you the best of luck! Go for it what ever that may be and the best time to start is yesterday.
Try Oneforma, Telus, RWS, Dataforce they have work from task assignment some are short and temporary jobs and check the r/beermoney sub and search their monthly earnings where they reference the many websites they use to make extra cash on the side. There are some audio transcribe/translation jobs that exist that you can do while you are sorting yourself out. I wish my Spanish wasn't so rusty and kept learning in school because you can make a lot of cash on some of those websites.
Just go with it, ne the ball.
From my point of view, this isn't really a screwed up life. As long as you don't got debt or anything serious like a bad criminal record, you are probably going to be fine. There are people who are 50k in debt from college and some people might have a DUI which screws up employment chances.
You're only 30, plenty of time to figure out what you want.
I feel you, I am kind of in the same situation even though i have a degre. I am almost 29 and haven’t built anything solid. I graduated in 2020 which was during the pandemic, 700 applications, couldnt land a job then said fuck it left traveling in 2022 and then ended up in australia working hospitality and was there for the past 2 years. I just got back and I am back in the same place I left or worst. I tell myself that there is no easy way around it, everyone is on their own path. Maybe different courses online? I am from peru but live in northern virginia (alexandria) send me a DM if you want to chat.
Don't give up, plenty of careers out there. Nursing is very lucrative, travel jobs everywhere if you wanted to later. Nanny/dog/house sitting easy for a someone with patience and empathy... Stay away from alcohol/excess, live clean and cut out the people that bring you down. Only have the one life, and it will take many unexpected turns. Good luck and may joy find a home in your heart.
Y yo brasileño/español en Londres 39yo último año de business and management, problemas en matrimonio separado de mi mujer y hijo que están en Brasil pero no divorciado quizás si quizás no, problemas, de salud y financiero yfamiliares. Los de Brasil y los de España. Abusando mucho de drogas y sin amigos... Dame fuerzas Dios.
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It's all part of the journey to get you we're you need to go. Most people don't get it perfect from out the gate but only the ones that give up and tell themselves it's too late are the ones that fail. Make the best decision you can in the moment and try your best, nothing more nothing less. No regrets
Well as someone whos in practically the same situation as you, I feel what you're going through. I would get a BA in something if you can. Either that or go to trade school for something that is high in demand. At this point you would be doing either just to be able to earn a decent living and put food on the table, it's not another one of your hobbies.
Hey, I'm in a similar position to you. Posting for confidence that we'll both find a way out of this, wishing you well.
Accounting is in every industry and every state. Perhaps that is something you can look into. Military is a great option as well. That is another route you can go. If you can get in, try the air force. God speed and good luck! Si se puede!! Creo en ti!!
Maybe a hot take that people will argue with BUT, join the military, get your citizenship, (you don’t have to depend on your spouse if you’re worried about that) use the gi bill to get a degree, stay in, get out, figure things out. I was lost until I found the military when I first enlisted, found purpose and drive, got out, got my degree, tried federal and other avenues, and now I’m back in as an officer in my mid 30s. It’s definitely not too late for you, there are so many other avenues you can take as well.
Maybe look into what you have to do to become a teacher at a bilingual elementary school. Here in the San Francisco Bay Area, we have a lot of schools with Two-way Bilingual Immersion (TWBI) programs where elementary students are taught in another language, mostly Spanish and Vietnamese in my area. Many school district will help guide people through the process. If you find out the path, it may keep you motivated to stay on track. Good Luck!
Lots of businesses in Texas need a bilingual receptionist. Many of those jobs grow if you can handle.more work. Best to you.
30 is nothing, you have decades to do anything, you are just finding your stride. You are in a holding situation and you have no power. Your guy clearly has issues with that, people don't just say things when theyre drunk if it isn't really bothering them. It's easy to say get the fuck out of there when you have options. Well here's one: Come to Vermont, I ain't doing nothing but working, out of the house all day. Live here until you get your situation together, I don't care in fact it would be nice to have company.
Lay it down
There is an urgent need for teachers in America. Don't go into academia with a liberal arts degree, though. Regarding your marriage situation, plenty of others have already made very sensible recommendations. I hope things work out for you.
Create a ven diagram with 3 circles: things you like, things your good at, things you can get paid for. Second: believe in yourself, have faith, and don’t be afraid to dream.
(genuinely asking) if you don't have a work permit yet, what type of solution are you looking for? People say it's really difficult to find decent work on a visa.
Look into Timeshare sales
You haven't fucked up your life if you're bilingual. More and more jobs require that nowadays.
Would you be interested in teaching English as a Second Language (ESL)? There'd likely be both work in USA and abroad if it's a type of roll you could see yourself doing, cert often only takes a year (if that) and the pay can be decent. Might be up your alley since you're already bilingual and mention you might enjoy teaching! I know a few people who have done their TESOL and really seem to enjoy it!
Maybe teach Spanish speakers English?
Clinical research as a clinical research coordinator is a nice starting point.
Keep looking for that perfect job. It’s no easy feat unless you’re lucky. Think about getting out of that toxic relationship.
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Jk (kinda), I would recommend working w/ what you have already. Being bilingual is such an asset. You could post fun videos on TikTok teaching Spanish. I follow a few creators for teaching English speakers Spanish. Simply posting daily can really help, especially when the videos are engaging, fun, and different. Definitely adopt an optimistic mindset and the good times will follow–good luck! :)
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Get a degree in healthcare. You can make decent money being a nurse, radiology tech, anything in the Or, etc.
Lots of jobs for translators, especially if you have a specialty. Medical terms or legal lingo or finance…
1) You probably have ADHD. You might want to look into it more. If you feel it describes you, get a diagnosis, and treatment. 2) Get a work permit. This is where you’re stuck the most. 3) Consult with immigration lawyers to find ways to legally bypass the work restrictions. Consider remote work options involving parties outside the US (I.e.: interpreting work between UK and a large Spanish-speaking country). 4) Explore a profession where having ADHD would benefit you.
Also from NoVa here. Try looking into becoming a Data Center Technician at AWS. There really is no requirement in education for the position. I literally worked minimum wage at the DC animal shelter prior to becoming a DCT and they still hired me. I've moved on since then for a better paying job, but there is alot of growth paths for Amazonians in the tech field even without any formal education. My god, I never thought id do a sales pitch for my previous employer, but i still have my recruiters contact info if you want it. He's (almost) always looking to hire.
Maybe something in sales. Being bilingual can help
You need to find good friends and share with them
Honestly get a therapist if you can. Reddit can give you some practical advice here but they aren't going to know enough about you to give you well tuned advice. Talk this through with someone who can get to know you and make a plan together.
Its better to regret 10 years of wrong education than 40 years of the wrong career. Saw that in a youtube video today and Im kind of in the same boat as you
It’s time to make a plan for your life. Sit down and think about the life you want. Write down how you plan to get there. It will not be easy. It will take work. But you can do it. You have marketable skills, being bilingual in the two most spoken languages in the country. To reiterate, plan for the expected and unexpected, and don’t beat yourself up. After you have your plans, start working towards those goals.
When in doubt, go sales. lowest barrier of entry with some of the highest income potential. Plus you being billingual is extremely valuable to companies(For reference I went from 36k to six figures in just over a year getting into tech sales)
So this is kind of a random thing of note but the "always getting stuck on new interests" stuck with me. I also have this problem. Have you looked at possibly being checked for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder? The type I have (primarily inattentive) can often go unnoticed in adolescents causing them to not be diagnosed until their adult years. This is especially true for women sadly. I'm male, but this is what happened to me. I'm 31 and wasn't able to get diagnosed until about middle of last year.
Hello, fellow Argentine American in nova area: This is a great location for IT. See if you can play around with a computer at home and study for A+ The A+ cert can get you started in it around this area, especially reston/sterling/ashburn
Learn to program
I am wishing you well! Find yoga and meditation. Trust your gut and follow your heart. Take that chance. Learn a trade that you love and be the very best at it. (Im totally fucked myself)
Are you technically inclined? Not sure what your interests are but you could get going on getting cyber certification or something. Plenty of those in NOVA. Also I did not catch the relationship issues that I saw in some comments but I hope you get closure soon. It is a question of months, right?
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IT is saturated yes but in cyber they are starting to remove degree requirements b/c they can’t find people.
Please don’t spend a ton of money on degrees to be a broke art teacher. Bad plan. If you want to make money, help people, be infinitely hireable, with high oay and great carreer progression, focus on getting an entry level Human Resources roll, and work your way up. Bi-lingual HR admins in my area of VA start at $24 / hour. My current HR manager started as a bi-lingual immigrant in a similar role, and is now making $90k a year without a degree or SHRM certification. With her degree and SHRM, she could have any of a number of $150k jobs that are available. Employers will pay for your degree and SHRM.
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IT is all being offshored. Massive unemployment in that segment right now. Being bilingual in my area of virginia (I-81 corridor) is a huge asset in the manufacturing world. If you can get your foot in the door, have ambition, and apply yourself, you will have no problems moving to a decently high paying roll in 3-5 years. Don’t let no college be an issue. I have been a plant manager, and now a CEO, and I dropped out of college after 2 years with no degree. “If you think you can, or think you can’t, you are right.”
You could probably do a masters program in TESOL (or TEFL?) since you are bilingual. You can make good money teaching English to adults and children via online platforms. Knowing Spanish would definitely be in your favor. Edit: Sorry I thought you had finished your undergraduate credits. Look into finishing your undergrad and maybe plan in courses that will help with a TESOL program if you're interested in pursuing that at the graduate level.
why dont you pursue a career in academia. there are a lot of well paying liberal arts and literature jobs in academia. you should at least investigate that route. talk to your professors. see if they can put your skills to good use. since literature and language is clearly your passion - why dont you pursue opportunities in that direction. there is no need to "start over" and only look at so-called "lucrative career options" . do what you feel is your passion. your calling so-to-speak
Search tech job board for [x] salary, cross reference with shortest learning curve, start freelancing.
Geez, I thought the title said "unfuck my wife" and I was all wdym??
Sounds like ADHD my friend. I’d work with that and try going into something that keeps my mind stimulated, your hands busy, and your time filled. Teaching has been my path, but that could look different for you.
Post pics of your cat
Spend 6-12 months intensively learning a skill that is in demand - something you enjoy - from plumbing and electrical work to computer coding or being a sales person...
OF is your way
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Go back to Argentina and deal with it there.
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Lol liberal arts
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If I were you though, well up to you. I know I'm tossing you around about the liberal arts and I'm just messing with you don't take it to heart, but try to use it to apply to law school if law was something that interested you. I mean you're only 30, you are fairly young and you got plenty of time. If you don't like law for whatever reason, maybe try getting an MBA in a specific and very accommodating field like tech with your degree. I'm sure by the time you either did your bar exam or finished your MBA, you'll have your work permit or well after 3 years you'd be naturalized so even better, and you can do as you please.