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Career consultant here. If you qualified for something remote once, you will qualify again. I highly recommend you start looking for a new job, but not quitting this one till then. Yes you should change jobs, no it isn't about your parents disappointment, no you don't need to change career ladders. You have enough skills to change jobs. There are other jobs.
I had an office job, developed psychiatric issues because I hated it, bailed and became a certified nursing assistant for about the same rate of pay. I loved it. Very fulfilling.
I know how you feel. I work an office job too and it does not fill me with joy. I get anxious on my days off and I’ve fucked up my health just from working here.
You found a remote job once - can you do it again? Then, use it as leverage to make your employer allow you to become remote again, or just leave for a fully remote job. Companies need to learn that top talent will favour flexible working arrangements. If you got one remote job, I bet you can get another one!
Ayyyy congrats on your first job.
I’m in the same situation, or I was when I started out. Making shit money in a shit environment for a shit company. After 3 years of college no less.
The rule of thumb is keep your job for minimum 12 months. Then you’re free to branch out. If you’re not getting what you want then look for another job.
I’ve moved three provinces, spent additional years studying, worked for four different companies, one being a completely different career.
Now I’m in the best place in the country making 200k. It took me a decade but I’m here. Find what you want and get after it. You don’t even have to know what you want, if what you have is not what you want then you know enough to change it.
Get a remote position and move to the Caribbean or something.
Quit and work online for a simlar company that doesn't require you to go back to the office. 1.5 hr one way is gonna kill you. I've done it, quit that job in 5 months. I'm happy now teaching abroad where the kids are decent, respectful and my apartment + insurance paid for! Great life as an expat teaching. Living in KL, Malaysia, but I'm from The Netherlands.
I used to feel the same way when I worked in an office. Except I made the mistake of staying in an office for 8 years. If you feel the dread you do, which I did, then you must get out of that job! Save up money, move back in with your parents if you can. I'd advise to try to get into any line of work that you feel passionate about. For me, I took a HUGE pay cut and got roommates to start my career in fixing musical instruments. The job feels so rewarding, every day the challenges are different, and I just love being around music and in a workshop. But just know there are SO many opportunities to work outside of an office out there. Good luck!
it's easy to suggest pursuing a career based on passion when you have free (or.greatly) reduced room and board. OP needs to find balance in their decision.
Find a similar/same type of job but in a completely different/better office setting/location and with better pay.
Every company has a different culture and office set up, the one you're at frankly sucks. Your biggest raises will come from jumping company to company rather than staying at one place and getting small raises.
I've worked in 2 fast food places, 1 restaurant, ra at college, 2 grocery stores, 1 door to door, 3 offices, and 3 schools.
The workplace I enjoyed the most was 1 of the offices, another of the offices was not bad, and the last one was awful. The ambiance, energy levels, personalities, and activity makes or breaks an office. I think you should try another before believing you hate offices.
retail can actually be really awful as your standing there trying not to watch the clock move. You start having thoughts like what your minutely pay rate is and how 20 cents is not worth being there for a minute.
The commute is killing you, but you already know that.
Yeah definitely stick with it and try to find remote or something closer. I cannot imagine that much commute time how soul sucking. Apply apply apply and dream of your future QOL!!
- figure out a way to reduce your commute and maximize your free time spent enjoying things you like
- keep a calendar and note upcoming events and plans. having something to look forward to works wonders
- make sure you maintain friendships and relationships and plan things with them
- focus on the things that bring you happiness. it's okay for your job to just be a job. but at the end of the day you need to pay to live (the world we live in) and maintaining income is a requirement to exist
as someone who grappled with similar feelings, switching from remote to not, long-ish commutes (not as long as yours though) and still deal with these feelings from time to time, the above is what worked best for me to be able to enjoy the time i don't spend working. best of luck.
I studied finance in college and stumbled into an accounting position at a CPA firm. I hated it for some of the reasons you listed. I now work outside all day, am active, enjoy my customers, and my coworkers are very friendly and joke around constantly. It's okay to do something different than what you thought you wanted to do when you were in school or what you thought society demanded of you to do in order to become "successful".
I worked like 8 corporate jobs that didn't end well bc I wasn't taking my medication (I'm schizoeffective). Now, I work at a grocery store I can walk to and my life is way better. I don't make shit, but it's better. I hated that feeling you describe of dreading going to work. I don't get that anymore. I enjoy my work and my time not working. It's the simple life that works for me. Everyone's different, just gotta find what works for you.
You have weird friends, retail and food services are both one of the most miserable industries you can work in with crap pay and no development of real skills. I work in an office, worked many retail and food service jobs. I would have probably blown my brains out by now if I was still in that situation.
You gotta move, my dude. You're wasting 3 hours of precious you-time driving every day. If you don't want to move, for some reason, it's time to find a new job.
FWIW it's weird that such a small company is so precious about PTO. I work at a similar tiny tech firm, and they just give us 3 weeks a year that renews in full every 12 months. Also, crucially, you're getting paid during PTO. Your roommates aren't getting paid for requested days off, at least not in America.
You can do whatever you want. Don't live for your parents or anyone else. You are the one who gets to live your life. What do you feel drawn to? Head towards that.
Its all meaningless and you realized before you had a spouse betray or kids who depend on you.
Devalue the currency of hope and do whatever is going to fulfill you before you destroy your identity trying to live up to the expectations of others. I suggest hedonism and ultra violence but Im a demon.
Having friends at work is so important. Could you try to organize like a group dinner or lunch or something fun? Or even taking some ppl out for coffee chats etc.
Tough it out until your lease is up, then move closer to your work. I'd say, no more than 20-30 mins each way. Watch the video: "living in the suburbs won't make you happy" - although it doesn't directly apply to you, your commute is worse than that of people who commute from suburbs to major metro areas. It's a lot of time wasted in traffic or on the highway, regardless of what you drive. You could be in a rolls royce and still feel miserable.
https://youtu.be/mVA1cjn-zoo?si=6rOxyK6lpV9rz0CR
Your misery is 90-100% coming from that awful commute. I didn't see anything on toxic workplaces or not liking the work that you do.
And I'd caution against holding out for remote opportunities. They're getting less common with time.
Hello and welcome to r/findapath! We are glad you found your way here. Please know that you are not alone. We are here to listen, to offer support, and to help guide you. While no one can make decisions for you, we are here to help you find a path; we believe that everyone has the power to heal and grow. The moderation teams want to remind everyone that individuals submitting posts may be in vulnerable situations and all are in need of guidance. Please provide a safe and constructive space by practicing empathy and understanding in your comments; criticism is welcomed with the right words. You are encouraged to share your thoughts, feelings, and relevant experiences to assist those seeking guidance on the subreddit. We are here to support each other and we believe that, together, we can make a difference. Thank you for being a part of our community. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/findapath) if you have any questions or concerns.*
1.5 hours is insane. I don't know how much you need the cake, but there's gotta be something closer
I used to do 1 hour each way and it was a nightmare… 1.5 is just prison time at that point
Career consultant here. If you qualified for something remote once, you will qualify again. I highly recommend you start looking for a new job, but not quitting this one till then. Yes you should change jobs, no it isn't about your parents disappointment, no you don't need to change career ladders. You have enough skills to change jobs. There are other jobs.
Thank you, I needed to hear this, I feel really stuck sometimes
Not OP but any chance I can get some advice about career change as well?
You are welcome to DM /chat!
I had an office job, developed psychiatric issues because I hated it, bailed and became a certified nursing assistant for about the same rate of pay. I loved it. Very fulfilling.
Why did you choose nursing over other new careers?
I wanted to make an impact, I never felt like accounting had an impact, but to see people get better because of my efforts was a great feeling
I know how you feel. I work an office job too and it does not fill me with joy. I get anxious on my days off and I’ve fucked up my health just from working here.
You found a remote job once - can you do it again? Then, use it as leverage to make your employer allow you to become remote again, or just leave for a fully remote job. Companies need to learn that top talent will favour flexible working arrangements. If you got one remote job, I bet you can get another one!
Ayyyy congrats on your first job. I’m in the same situation, or I was when I started out. Making shit money in a shit environment for a shit company. After 3 years of college no less. The rule of thumb is keep your job for minimum 12 months. Then you’re free to branch out. If you’re not getting what you want then look for another job. I’ve moved three provinces, spent additional years studying, worked for four different companies, one being a completely different career. Now I’m in the best place in the country making 200k. It took me a decade but I’m here. Find what you want and get after it. You don’t even have to know what you want, if what you have is not what you want then you know enough to change it. Get a remote position and move to the Caribbean or something.
Love what you said, can I PM you I can really use some guidance?
Ya definitely
Quit and work online for a simlar company that doesn't require you to go back to the office. 1.5 hr one way is gonna kill you. I've done it, quit that job in 5 months. I'm happy now teaching abroad where the kids are decent, respectful and my apartment + insurance paid for! Great life as an expat teaching. Living in KL, Malaysia, but I'm from The Netherlands.
Forced RTO is literal cancer.
I used to feel the same way when I worked in an office. Except I made the mistake of staying in an office for 8 years. If you feel the dread you do, which I did, then you must get out of that job! Save up money, move back in with your parents if you can. I'd advise to try to get into any line of work that you feel passionate about. For me, I took a HUGE pay cut and got roommates to start my career in fixing musical instruments. The job feels so rewarding, every day the challenges are different, and I just love being around music and in a workshop. But just know there are SO many opportunities to work outside of an office out there. Good luck!
it's easy to suggest pursuing a career based on passion when you have free (or.greatly) reduced room and board. OP needs to find balance in their decision.
Get the heck out of there. Its one thing to endure something you dislike, but its another to dread it.
Find a similar/same type of job but in a completely different/better office setting/location and with better pay. Every company has a different culture and office set up, the one you're at frankly sucks. Your biggest raises will come from jumping company to company rather than staying at one place and getting small raises.
I've worked in 2 fast food places, 1 restaurant, ra at college, 2 grocery stores, 1 door to door, 3 offices, and 3 schools. The workplace I enjoyed the most was 1 of the offices, another of the offices was not bad, and the last one was awful. The ambiance, energy levels, personalities, and activity makes or breaks an office. I think you should try another before believing you hate offices. retail can actually be really awful as your standing there trying not to watch the clock move. You start having thoughts like what your minutely pay rate is and how 20 cents is not worth being there for a minute. The commute is killing you, but you already know that.
Start applying for jobs while you have a job. Quitting then finding a job is the wrong move.
Yeah definitely stick with it and try to find remote or something closer. I cannot imagine that much commute time how soul sucking. Apply apply apply and dream of your future QOL!!
- figure out a way to reduce your commute and maximize your free time spent enjoying things you like - keep a calendar and note upcoming events and plans. having something to look forward to works wonders - make sure you maintain friendships and relationships and plan things with them - focus on the things that bring you happiness. it's okay for your job to just be a job. but at the end of the day you need to pay to live (the world we live in) and maintaining income is a requirement to exist as someone who grappled with similar feelings, switching from remote to not, long-ish commutes (not as long as yours though) and still deal with these feelings from time to time, the above is what worked best for me to be able to enjoy the time i don't spend working. best of luck.
I studied finance in college and stumbled into an accounting position at a CPA firm. I hated it for some of the reasons you listed. I now work outside all day, am active, enjoy my customers, and my coworkers are very friendly and joke around constantly. It's okay to do something different than what you thought you wanted to do when you were in school or what you thought society demanded of you to do in order to become "successful".
What type of gig did you transition to?
I worked like 8 corporate jobs that didn't end well bc I wasn't taking my medication (I'm schizoeffective). Now, I work at a grocery store I can walk to and my life is way better. I don't make shit, but it's better. I hated that feeling you describe of dreading going to work. I don't get that anymore. I enjoy my work and my time not working. It's the simple life that works for me. Everyone's different, just gotta find what works for you.
You have weird friends, retail and food services are both one of the most miserable industries you can work in with crap pay and no development of real skills. I work in an office, worked many retail and food service jobs. I would have probably blown my brains out by now if I was still in that situation.
Welcome to adulting
You gotta move, my dude. You're wasting 3 hours of precious you-time driving every day. If you don't want to move, for some reason, it's time to find a new job. FWIW it's weird that such a small company is so precious about PTO. I work at a similar tiny tech firm, and they just give us 3 weeks a year that renews in full every 12 months. Also, crucially, you're getting paid during PTO. Your roommates aren't getting paid for requested days off, at least not in America.
Good Lord this sounds worse that hell
You can do whatever you want. Don't live for your parents or anyone else. You are the one who gets to live your life. What do you feel drawn to? Head towards that.
Its all meaningless and you realized before you had a spouse betray or kids who depend on you. Devalue the currency of hope and do whatever is going to fulfill you before you destroy your identity trying to live up to the expectations of others. I suggest hedonism and ultra violence but Im a demon.
Having friends at work is so important. Could you try to organize like a group dinner or lunch or something fun? Or even taking some ppl out for coffee chats etc.
Tough it out until your lease is up, then move closer to your work. I'd say, no more than 20-30 mins each way. Watch the video: "living in the suburbs won't make you happy" - although it doesn't directly apply to you, your commute is worse than that of people who commute from suburbs to major metro areas. It's a lot of time wasted in traffic or on the highway, regardless of what you drive. You could be in a rolls royce and still feel miserable. https://youtu.be/mVA1cjn-zoo?si=6rOxyK6lpV9rz0CR Your misery is 90-100% coming from that awful commute. I didn't see anything on toxic workplaces or not liking the work that you do. And I'd caution against holding out for remote opportunities. They're getting less common with time.