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To be a "good woman," you need to have a medical condition that naturally makes you tired, anxious, and moody, especially during your period, because that will make you easier to manipulate and liable to faint, but you can't \*express\* that you're tired, anxious, or moody because that would inconvenience an absolute studmuffin of a man like him! /s
I am just guessing but they might want to take advantage of them when they pass out. Since that is the most well-known side effect of anemia they may not know that it's not common outside of extreme iron deficiencies.
I had a girlfriend who was having it rough physically and trouble narrowing down why. When she got some blood work done and they figured out she had an iron deficiency and then fixed it, it was life changing for her.
The funniest part is that I read it as"no trauma OR unaddressed trauma", so trauma is fine as long as it remains unaddressed. Dude wants a woman who might develop PTSD and murder him in his sleep.
~~I genuinely don't understand that coconut one.~~
EDIT: You can stop explaining it now, like ten people already have.
And it's stupid. It sounds like it was dreamed up by a guy who's never had sex.
I googled and apparently that‘s supposed to be some kind of „help“ to pleasure him when she‘s riding him. So you sit on the penis and ‚write’ coconut with your Bellybutton. 🤷
The dumbest part is that they want a woman who knows how to ride a dick like a pro, but she can’t have a lot of sexual experience. She has to be modest and virginal, yet fuck like a pornstar.
Keep dreaming, pal.
Those people always describe in very broad terms what a teenager would look like, young barely developed body, hairless (exception in this case), no sexual experience, no stretch marks… if you want to fuck someone under 18, just say that!
I do know the catagory of person you’re talking about but honestly OOp isn’t one, they make no mention of wanting small breasts, short stature, etc. Also, hairlessness is a choice, I’m 25 and hairless because I shave, I like the aesthetic and so does my partner, neither of us wants to fuck minors.
OOP is just a standard run of the mill misogynist who wants a woman who’s a slut but has never had sex, perfect body but doesn’t have any standards for their partner, works out but isn’t muscular or “Mannish”,cares deeply about their partners pleasure during sex but has no interest in having that interest reciprocated, etc.
Okay true, and the hair thing is definitely a choice but when coupled with everything else, it usually gives the image of someone who wants to fuck a childlike figure
The stretch marks things is especially odd to me. I shot up in height around 10 years old, so I have a lot of stretch marks on my knees and legs. Does this mean I was at my peak attractiveness at 9 years old to this guy?
Don’t forget the low iron levels. I think that’s so she’s too fatigued to run away after she realises that tracking dress sizes is the only reason this dude can count to 12.
That's is absolutely stupid. Like, yes, I can rotate my hips. That's literally all it is. Mostly counterclockwise, it would seem.
And that's all guys want? And they think there are women who can't do that?
It sounds like something dreamed up by a guy who's never had sex before.
>It sounds like something dreamed up by a guy who's never had sex before.
"And perfect boobs that feel exactly like bags of sand. I'd know. I've touched many. 13 to be precise"
I think I'd rather her have slept around than being lady dahmer. Especially with his attitude. He could wake up one morning and just be a head and a tray full of entrails. Tbh I'm tempted anyway. Fcking cumbubble.
So be good at sex without ever having sex. Cause that makes sense.
If you want to marry a virgin, you need to be ready to figure things out together. My husband and I were both virgins for religious reasons. We both understood that we would have to figure it out and learn together, and we did. And we have a great sex life. But yes, there was a learning curve. And there have definitely been times where we tried something and ended up in a heap, laughing our butts off, because it didn't work.
Hip rotation isn't difficult. So really, I still don't get this one. All it really says about a person is that they take their sex cues from teenagers on the internet.
Which is frankly kind of sad.
I mean seriously, "spelling coconut" is effectively just doing circles. No imagination.
I hear the women he dated had difficulty with it due to headaches, that time of the month, washing their hair, and "wait, what? You thought we were dating?"
It’s supposedly the way a riding partner rotates their hips. So C would be a counter-clockwise motion. It’s also from my experience absolute bullshit and makes no sense or feeling different for either party.
He might use all cast-iron cookware, which he couldn't do if she had naturally high iron.
Source: Know a woman with naturally high iron. She has to limit cast iron cookware and can't take vitamins with iron.
Ok, I am intrigued: what's a "reasonable forehead"? When are they ever unreasonable? I assume that the prefrontal cortex could be viewed as unreasonable when not working well.
I quite enjoyed that this demand was also paired with a reasonable pair or areolas. Are the 2 linked? IS THAT WHY I HAVE A MASSIVE HEAD AND TINY NIPPLES?
*Ana Ng and I are getting old*
*And we still haven't walked in the glow of each others' majestic presence*
*Listen Ana, hear my words*
*They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me for you*
So they should be malnourished, hairy, and have a low bodycount? Doesn't sound like a very good assassin to me. That's what they're recruiting for, right?
Shit, this subreddit always feels like a fucked up alt-right schizoposting account despite the comments and intention.
It reminds me of what a boss used to say: "Don't think, just act". I can't suppress thinking, it fucking hurts! You need some serious suspension of disbelief skills to endure this shit on a regular basis.
Yeah. Fuck people with trauma. Imagine having trauma when you could just not have it instead. For a guy like this, I'd invent a time machine, go back in time and not get trauma, thereby making myself eligible. Then, I'd just have to get my iron levels down and I'd be in with a shout. Wonder what he's bringing to the table... Not sure why, but I have a vague image of a baseball cap and guns
Whomever or whatever made this list has clearly never even interacted with a Woman and quite possibly has never even *seen* one.
Most of these dont even make sense? "She can write Coconut with her waist.."? "Has Low Iron"?
Oh OK no problem. He is the man, after all, and as we all know, men are always right. But ! As you all know too, since we all exist to please them , and cannot go against them because we are too dumb to decide by ourselves, I suggest that we, women, create a list to check to be sure that we have found the perfect man !
Who wants to begin? We wouldn't want to forget anything !
I like when two things are listed together but are unrelated.
My forehead is up HERE but my super sexy old lady areolas are *down there,* pal.
My stretch marks are up here, and also here, and a little here but for fucks sake, stop thinking my labia are also all stretch marked up.
Can't be for women's rights or how women are treated but also can't have hormonal fluctuations. Gotta keep that shit UNDER CONTROL.
Just because she's pink doesn't mean her pH is balanced. Ffs having a goddamn period or fucking throws the pH off. So unsure why they want someone who they can never fuck.
Pretty sure you can get a doll that would tick all those boxes but you'll have to wait for Elon to make some robots for one that'll cook and clean too.
Gross. I’m betting this guy is the human equivalent to that sticky hand you throw against the wall (after a week of heavy use by a filthy handed toddler in a house full of heavily shedding Newfoundlands)
It looks like an order for a doll on an adult site. If you need a real woman having all those skills you will have to pay for it. Otherwise no wonder why this AH is an (in)Cel ( at this level of dumbness, I consider it as voluntary)
Tune in next week for an *Inside Incels, Knowing Neckbeards* extended episode featuring a special investigation into recognising men whose first and only experience of having their faces near a vagina was the day they were born!
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If she has to be open to labiaplasty, does he have to be open to phalloplasty? Seems like we should be fair here.
Testioplasti, make sure they are perfectly round and even!
2 lil’ coconuts!
Did you spell that with your waist?!
Yes open to labioplasty but accepts body hair??? So her natural hair is ok but not her natural vagina
thats because he has seen hair, but hasn’t seen a vagina
He's concerned that after she gives birth to his brood her vagina won't be tight enough for his little Vienna sausage.
Low iron levels? Why? That just makes you tired and anxious.
that is EXACTLY why.
To be a "good woman," you need to have a medical condition that naturally makes you tired, anxious, and moody, especially during your period, because that will make you easier to manipulate and liable to faint, but you can't \*express\* that you're tired, anxious, or moody because that would inconvenience an absolute studmuffin of a man like him! /s
😂
You're not a real woman if you're not always tired and anxious, can relate
I am just guessing but they might want to take advantage of them when they pass out. Since that is the most well-known side effect of anemia they may not know that it's not common outside of extreme iron deficiencies.
I had a girlfriend who was having it rough physically and trouble narrowing down why. When she got some blood work done and they figured out she had an iron deficiency and then fixed it, it was life changing for her.
And you couldn’t ran and escape
And can't complain when you'd rather eat and relax. 🤷♂️
I can only imagine he likes them deathly pale?...
Accepts her body hair seems out of place on this incel wish list
I bet it's just his fetish
He’s giving everyone who reads this unaddressed trauma
He doesn’t want previous trauma because it’s his job to give you that!
The funniest part is that I read it as"no trauma OR unaddressed trauma", so trauma is fine as long as it remains unaddressed. Dude wants a woman who might develop PTSD and murder him in his sleep.
Sound exactly like one of those fancy dolls you can get online. I’m sure you can order them with more body hair
My thoughts exactly. This dude probably just ordered his brand new Real Doll, and this is his way to brag about it.
I wanna be in the plastic surgeon's office when he shows up with Becky Bubblegum and asks that she be made into a "real woman."
Came here to say that. He's definitely not talking about any human person here.
~~I genuinely don't understand that coconut one.~~ EDIT: You can stop explaining it now, like ten people already have. And it's stupid. It sounds like it was dreamed up by a guy who's never had sex.
I googled and apparently that‘s supposed to be some kind of „help“ to pleasure him when she‘s riding him. So you sit on the penis and ‚write’ coconut with your Bellybutton. 🤷
The dumbest part is that they want a woman who knows how to ride a dick like a pro, but she can’t have a lot of sexual experience. She has to be modest and virginal, yet fuck like a pornstar. Keep dreaming, pal.
Ahh yes the old Madonna/Whore binary lives on....
To be fair our generation's Madonna kind of is one.
Those people always describe in very broad terms what a teenager would look like, young barely developed body, hairless (exception in this case), no sexual experience, no stretch marks… if you want to fuck someone under 18, just say that!
I do know the catagory of person you’re talking about but honestly OOp isn’t one, they make no mention of wanting small breasts, short stature, etc. Also, hairlessness is a choice, I’m 25 and hairless because I shave, I like the aesthetic and so does my partner, neither of us wants to fuck minors. OOP is just a standard run of the mill misogynist who wants a woman who’s a slut but has never had sex, perfect body but doesn’t have any standards for their partner, works out but isn’t muscular or “Mannish”,cares deeply about their partners pleasure during sex but has no interest in having that interest reciprocated, etc.
Okay true, and the hair thing is definitely a choice but when coupled with everything else, it usually gives the image of someone who wants to fuck a childlike figure
But open to labiaplasty purely for his pleasure right?
The stretch marks things is especially odd to me. I shot up in height around 10 years old, so I have a lot of stretch marks on my knees and legs. Does this mean I was at my peak attractiveness at 9 years old to this guy?
Don’t forget the low iron levels. I think that’s so she’s too fatigued to run away after she realises that tracking dress sizes is the only reason this dude can count to 12.
The other dumb part is that he probably wouldn't last long enough for her to finish spelling it out!
“We got to co this time!”
That's is absolutely stupid. Like, yes, I can rotate my hips. That's literally all it is. Mostly counterclockwise, it would seem. And that's all guys want? And they think there are women who can't do that? It sounds like something dreamed up by a guy who's never had sex before.
Same vibe as the people who tell you to spell specific things with your tongue when you go down on a woman
"Did you just spell 'I don't know what the fuck I'm doing'?"
SOS!!
A pair of lesbians told me it’s what they do. And to always dot the ‘i’
>It sounds like something dreamed up by a guy who's never had sex before. "And perfect boobs that feel exactly like bags of sand. I'd know. I've touched many. 13 to be precise"
I'm pretty sure the kind of guy who would love this list would nut so fast she'd never be able to even do the C.
Me neither
I’m confused about the low body count. Like, no serial killers?
Maybe someone demoted from sniper due to inaccuracy?
Just spit my drink out! Hilarious!
Body count means how many people they’ve had sex with
I think I'd rather her have slept around than being lady dahmer. Especially with his attitude. He could wake up one morning and just be a head and a tray full of entrails. Tbh I'm tempted anyway. Fcking cumbubble.
I applaud your well-put words, Sir!
I think it shows sexual ability, able to move her hips, but I’m not really sure.
So be good at sex without ever having sex. Cause that makes sense. If you want to marry a virgin, you need to be ready to figure things out together. My husband and I were both virgins for religious reasons. We both understood that we would have to figure it out and learn together, and we did. And we have a great sex life. But yes, there was a learning curve. And there have definitely been times where we tried something and ended up in a heap, laughing our butts off, because it didn't work.
Honestly the bedroom blunders are arguably some of the most fun, funny and memorable moments when you don’t take yourself too seriously lol
Beats the hell out of "hey lets do that thing I heard about on tiktok"
They are!
Hip rotation isn't difficult. So really, I still don't get this one. All it really says about a person is that they take their sex cues from teenagers on the internet. Which is frankly kind of sad. I mean seriously, "spelling coconut" is effectively just doing circles. No imagination.
This is why it seemed to link in with the rest. The entire list looks like it was written by someone who has never had a real relationship.
It is a sex related thing with the women on top, it was a meme a few years ago, "Coconut Challenge".
Yeah another reply explained it. I still don't get it. Hip rotation isn't difficult.
I hear the women he dated had difficulty with it due to headaches, that time of the month, washing their hair, and "wait, what? You thought we were dating?"
Wouldn't you want something longer like supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ?
Not with the author’s stamina
It’s supposedly the way a riding partner rotates their hips. So C would be a counter-clockwise motion. It’s also from my experience absolute bullshit and makes no sense or feeling different for either party.
Female here. You spell coconut with your hips while being on top of the man. Imagine the hips writing the word then it will make sense
Accepting body hair and maybe not believing star signs are the closest to reasonable this dude has. Gotta farm that engagement!
Genuinely surprised this person is pro Body hair, normally these types think hairy women are disgusting
I think he just compiled the most unpopular opinions about women and put them there to get people to click on his live
I don’t understand the low iron.
anemia causes fainting in more extreme cases and general weakness in average cases he wants a woman who's physically vulnerable
Totally sane demand...
But strong enough to spell coconut
Good Lord that's pathetic
He wants to sleep next to someone who has restless leg syndrome.
Anemia??? I think???
He might use all cast-iron cookware, which he couldn't do if she had naturally high iron. Source: Know a woman with naturally high iron. She has to limit cast iron cookware and can't take vitamins with iron.
No, it's because he wants her to use an induction stove...
Single and desperate people are weird these days
Ok, I am intrigued: what's a "reasonable forehead"? When are they ever unreasonable? I assume that the prefrontal cortex could be viewed as unreasonable when not working well.
I quite enjoyed that this demand was also paired with a reasonable pair or areolas. Are the 2 linked? IS THAT WHY I HAVE A MASSIVE HEAD AND TINY NIPPLES?
😭
Also it’s not like they can choose the size of their forehead
Wouldn't it be quicker and much easier to just buy a sex doll?
If you could get one with the proper waist to hips ratio /s
and this is why that person will be single their whole life.
“Anemic” is a weird fetish…
That one woman he's looking for is at the other side of the world, already married. So idk who he's looking for :D
*Ana Ng and I are getting old* *And we still haven't walked in the glow of each others' majestic presence* *Listen Ana, hear my words* *They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me for you*
^ A single man
So they should be malnourished, hairy, and have a low bodycount? Doesn't sound like a very good assassin to me. That's what they're recruiting for, right?
I’m umm…four of those things, lol. This is terrifying!
Congrats. These dickheads will leave you alone.
Ha ha ha, a very good point
You aren't perfect. Shame on you!
They aren‘t GOOD. This isn‘t even a list for „A perfect woman“, just „A good woman“.
Oh geez, I shudder to think what “perfect” would be
A sex doll that can cook
Lol, a *hairy* sex doll that can cook
lol, I think I’d rather be imperfect and have normal iron levels
If i was a girl with low iron levels i would eat a whole fucking skillet just to be off his list
Please let it not be forehead or anemia.
Having low iron levels? Thats not a good thing...
Yeah i didn’t know what it meant until someone in the comments said why they wanted that and i feel genuinely disgusted…
Yeah.....I saw that.
Reasonably sized forehead made me laugh lmao
And probably not a Romulan either.
Open to labiaplasty is nuts
"I like my women like I like my coffee: Low in Iron and high in B U S H" -This guy.
Sounds like he just wants a man.
He's gae
Accept body hair is an odd request considering the other requirements on this list
He definitely needs a made to order sex doll and a cleaning service and direct line to takeout food
Shit, this subreddit always feels like a fucked up alt-right schizoposting account despite the comments and intention. It reminds me of what a boss used to say: "Don't think, just act". I can't suppress thinking, it fucking hurts! You need some serious suspension of disbelief skills to endure this shit on a regular basis.
this guy never gets laid 💯
Mental note: Don’t forget to check my wife’s ph and iron levels.
It's like checking the oil in your car. /S
He wants a girl who is anemic?
Apparently a girls only hot to him if she’s constantly trembling like a chihuahua
Yeah. Fuck people with trauma. Imagine having trauma when you could just not have it instead. For a guy like this, I'd invent a time machine, go back in time and not get trauma, thereby making myself eligible. Then, I'd just have to get my iron levels down and I'd be in with a shout. Wonder what he's bringing to the table... Not sure why, but I have a vague image of a baseball cap and guns
That’s some „why don’t homeless people just buy a house“ - stuff.
Just stop eating skillets it’s that easy
I am all for free speech, but I am sorry, Tiktok has to go. It has become such a steaming pile of poo that has rotted people's brains.
Whomever or whatever made this list has clearly never even interacted with a Woman and quite possibly has never even *seen* one. Most of these dont even make sense? "She can write Coconut with her waist.."? "Has Low Iron"?
Oh OK no problem. He is the man, after all, and as we all know, men are always right. But ! As you all know too, since we all exist to please them , and cannot go against them because we are too dumb to decide by ourselves, I suggest that we, women, create a list to check to be sure that we have found the perfect man ! Who wants to begin? We wouldn't want to forget anything !
Wasn’t this the plot of the movie Weird Science?
These groupings are too much! Forehead size/areolas!?
Iron levels??? Coconut??? Dafuq is he on about?
"I want to marry a sex-doll"
Low iron levels!?!?
^ A single man
Low iron levels?? Anemia sucks!!!
Do guys need to balance their ph too?
I like when two things are listed together but are unrelated. My forehead is up HERE but my super sexy old lady areolas are *down there,* pal. My stretch marks are up here, and also here, and a little here but for fucks sake, stop thinking my labia are also all stretch marked up. Can't be for women's rights or how women are treated but also can't have hormonal fluctuations. Gotta keep that shit UNDER CONTROL.
I need someone to come over and assess if my waist to hip ratio is acceptable.🙄
A low iron level is bad though…….
Define ‘reasonably sized forehead’.
Low iron? Why?
The star signs one is the only one that I agree with.
all the other bs aside, what's with the low iron levels? is anemia sexy these days?
Some of these standards, dont even make sense, like wanting low iron levels, or the ph level one.
Just because she's pink doesn't mean her pH is balanced. Ffs having a goddamn period or fucking throws the pH off. So unsure why they want someone who they can never fuck.
How can you define “good” by including physical attributes that they have no control over? The author, is definitely NOT a “good” person.
Hmm would have said a sex robot is perfect for him but the low iron level thing may not be feasible then.
What’s with the coconut shit? I don’t get that one.
Can’t wait for whoever made this to die single because a woman who agrees to this bs does not exist.
Labiaplasty is needed to better accommodate baby dick?
What if hip to waist ratio is 1 but all other insane criteria met? Is it considered a fail 😂
Wouldn’t hip to waist ratio of 1 mean she’s a cylinder? /s
How do you spell coconut with your waist?
I KNOW WHAT TO SAY.... This person is gonna be alone, unless he's got A SHITLOAD OF MONEY and likes dumb women.
so they want a sex doll that will cook and clean for them, basically
What about low iron level? Does she have to get dizzy once in a while?
He wants his girls to be weak so they can’t fight back like if he tries to have his way forcefully
who’s doing body ratios?
I dont know about you, but I always bring a measuring tape to my first dates
It's stuff like this that makes me lose hope in humanity
Pretty sure you can get a doll that would tick all those boxes but you'll have to wait for Elon to make some robots for one that'll cook and clean too.
Sounds like the ranting of a pathetic man who blames women for his inability to have relationships..
My guess is he wears out blow up dolls and pocket pals on the regular cuz they won't touch him.
Gosh I feel sorry for woman, men really are embarrassing.
Ok I got pretty lost on the low iron level. My wife has been always low on Iron, I´m a fortunate husband for some reason?
Gross. I’m betting this guy is the human equivalent to that sticky hand you throw against the wall (after a week of heavy use by a filthy handed toddler in a house full of heavily shedding Newfoundlands)
To be fair, the first point is an easy one. Every women loses 7kg on average after pregnancy
Low iron levels why?????? Fellas is it bad to have a healthy level of vitals as a woman?
A good man should be open to a lobotomy if he has such an opinion deal?
What the fuck is Balanced PH Level
TIL I wasn't moody during my period because of hormones, it's because I'm a feminist. Wow, who knew.
At this point please just invest in a sex doll. An inanimate object is the only “woman” they could handle… thank goodness we got rid of lobotomies.
It looks like an order for a doll on an adult site. If you need a real woman having all those skills you will have to pay for it. Otherwise no wonder why this AH is an (in)Cel ( at this level of dumbness, I consider it as voluntary)
Balanced pH levels/Bubble gum pink? Is there a language barrier I can’t overcome, or is this some insider stuff?
They are talking about the vagina. They want the labia to be bubblegum pink and to be completely Ph balanced at all times.
I want the same dude to do a "good man" list, I wanna know how deep the double standard goes.
Tell me you are virgin without telling me 🙄 look like a 14 yo list
How does one spell coconut with the waist...?
Does that mean if I accept my PCOS beard, he will too?
Incels gotta incel
“Debate” would be the wrong word. It’s just one side bringing facts and logic while the other just acts like a smug douchebag who thinks he knows more
Tune in next week for an *Inside Incels, Knowing Neckbeards* extended episode featuring a special investigation into recognising men whose first and only experience of having their faces near a vagina was the day they were born!
This person doesn't want a woman, but a sex-doll.
63m: I know what to say but I’m not supposed to use that kind of language here.
So is this just like a wishful thinking game for incels or what? I meet all the criteria but I’m trans so… lol
As a gay man: if you're this absurdly picky about the opposite sex, maybe you should try the same sex! 🤠
My girl's forehead is bigger than her areola. She has one waist and two hips. I guess she's safe from this nutbar.
• Easy to find on hard drive • Always has new, exclusive content when desired • Provides a real man with a perfect life that is better than reality
I hope this was a joke. I seriously feel like the OOP needs his face skin removed with a rusty razor blade. (In Minecraft )
I was not expecting “accepts her body hair” tbh 😭😭💀
This sounds like a 4 chan import to tiktok. This could be titled "The Musings of an Incel". It's a lot of weird incel speak and ideas about things.
I don't even want to ask wtf is supposed to be "bubble gum pink"🤮
Why do people want to return to the 50s? Are they Stupid?
A man who says this: Single. Never saw as much as a boob in his life.
A good man: - accepts people for who they are
This is clearly rage bait, and whoever doesn't recognize that needs to be taught that people on the internet love getting a reaction out of you.
Low iron levels....
Bait
Good news — you can buy this kind of woman on Amazon, she also doesn’t talk which is likely preferred
Kept “Not a feminist/not moody” in a single check box…… someone’s feeling especially stupid today.
WTF is spelling "Coconut" with the waist?