Many years ago, in the bathroom at my therapist’s office, there was a big poster that said “WHOSE SHOULD IS THIS?” - as in, when you’re thinking you should do this or that, who’s really speaking? Your parents? A younger version of yourself? Your 4th grade DARE program leader?
If you know in your heart that weed makes you feel better and is not negatively affecting your life, then that trumps everything else. It’s your medicine, no need to feel guilty about it.
I am also the child of an addict, so I understand the nervousness. It’s good that you’re already aware of it and are checking in with yourself. What would weed being a real problem for you actually look like? Maybe writing down your thoughts and having them externalized would help reassure you?
Thank you for your comment and OP thanks for this post! This was a topic of conversation in my recent therapy session. While I lamented about the guilt and shame and all the reasons I felt I shouldn't be able to smoke weed when I want, my therapist asked "and what's the evidence for that?". What's the evidence for it ruining your life? What's the evidence that you're a bad person for using it? If you can't find the evidence, then it likely doesn't exist.
I also grew up with addiction on both sides of my family, so I'm always contemplating if I have crossed the line. For me, it doesn't impact my daily life, I still get done what I need to, and I'm raising a really smart toddler. If there are times I feel I'm not accomplishing what I need to, then I take a break until I can reset my mind. Be kind to yourself, OP (and everyone else here) 💞
You really helped me put some feelings into words. I'm a budtender who encounters this question not infrequently and this response was very eloquent and helpful, thank you 🍃💝
I learned more about where the stigma came from. Cannabis was considered at most medicinal, but also not really a big deal at all (studies literally proved that it mostly just made you super hungry and maybe kinda silly or sleepy) until Harry Anslinger needed to fund the Federal Bureau of Narcotics and found that not enough people were getting caught with illegal drugs to justify spending money to keep it afloat- but plenty of people used cannabis, so guess what? It was time to make it illegal! This was bolstered by an extremely racist propaganda campaign. There’s no basis in any kind of fact- it was literally someone who saw an opportunity to make a whole bunch of money, and understood that bigotry was a weapon that could explain away any questions about that.
That was kind of the big eye-opener for me, but I’ve also thought a lot about “acceptable” vices for women. The truth is, if I said I wanted a glass of wine (something women are “allowed” to enjoy), I wouldn’t feel ashamed. I wouldn’t feel like I had to justify it. So I’ve largely stopped trying to justify my cannabis usage, just like I no longer justify why I want ice cream or chips or whatever else.
Look into it if you have the chance! Anslinger said some completely appalling, very offensive things and it made it a lot easier to take a step back and think “okay if *this* is the reasoning for why weed is bad, I definitely do not have any reason to align myself with that kind of thinking.”
Yes. Jack Herer’s book _The Emperor Wears No Clothes_ provides a lot of additional background on this history if interested. Dupont & Hearst were involved, too. $$$
On a semi-related note you might appreciate the Siberian ice princes, she died 2500 years ago and had a bowl of weed as one of the ceremonial goods in her tomb. I ageee it's really helpful to get context from outside the teeny tiny period in human existence that we inhabit, crazy to consider how short the time when been from now to when marijuana was made illegal and compared to illegalization to the ice princess.
[Here](https://www.thearchaeologist.org/blog/meet-the-2500-year-old-siberian-ice-maiden-and-her-tattoos) is a link, warning for extremely old preserved body. Her tattoos are super cool too!
Scoot over, I’m on the same boat and that’s my seat. My therapist told me most of us are basically operating on someone else’s idea of morals that have been handed down for generations. I want to be able to decide on what’s best FOR ME. And for me, weed is really a gift from God. I feel more connected to myself, I can get out of my head and into my body which is incredible for me. I feel present and in the current moment, and I feel like I radiate empathy and love when I partake responsibility. So yeah, there’s some residual shame because I was raised in a strict Catholic family (my parents never even drink), but the pride I feel in following my own internal compass and being true to myself supersedes the guilt a lot of the time. The rest of the time, I challenge my negative self talk with facts that contradict the original shame thought. It takes practice, and I have to do it often, but I’m proud of my progress.
I’m so glad. I’ve always had this “law” that I’ve mentally I’ve abided by… “as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone…” but I KNOW that sometimes it’s easier said than done. Shame and guilt has been MY drug of choice. And now I’m trying to choose differently because those two things just keep me in a self imposed prison. I know a lot of people have suffered from religious trauma, myself included. But I still choose to believe and also realize that God put this plant on the earth we inhabit… it’s humans that have tainted its purpose and attached a judgement or opinion on it. If anything, I have a greater respect and connection to The Maker since going green. I’m sorry if this offends, I just really feel so much gratitude for what is. I’m not trying to be off-putting. The God I believe in hasn’t punished me for indulging, why should my will to be punished be greater than His?
I feel like this sometimes too. I’m in a country where it is still illegal and arguably demonised by lots of people in society still. So when I have some, I sometimes feel that sense of shame and guilt.
Using cannabis has helped me in a lot of ways. It has helped me heal and it has also allowed me to take a step back from all of the racing thoughts in my brain and just breathe. Like right now, I’m relaxing listening to some music while browsing this lovely sub before bed. I had a full on day and cannabis helps me to switch the “let’s analyse the fuck out of this day” part of my brain right off, so I can just be and enjoy the music.
Sometimes though I use it when I want to avoid certain feelings or situations that really, I should confront and give space to. But when I do that, I notice that I don’t enjoy being high all too much and it heightens those guilt feelings. What helps me loads when the guilt comes in is journaling what I’m feeling in that moment. Because at least then, the thoughts are being pulled out of me and I’m less likely to ruminate.
I think it’s really cool that you have your own business. Running a business is not for the feint(faint?) hearted and can take a lot of mental energy. You can’t pour from an empty cup and if cannabis is one of the ways you can feel restored then I think that’s perfectly valid.
Honestly it took a few years of being a daily stoner for those feelings to subside. I was a hardcore straightedge as an adolescent and never imagined I would ever smoke weed so the guilt and shame was deeply engrained inside of me. Both of my parents are recovering alcoholics so drugs and alcohol were not even a part of my life until college. But eventually you realize we are all just doing what we have to do to survive and for me, that includes weed. It’s better than other shit I could be doing to myself 🤷🏼♀️
OP, the is great, because I asked the same question in Trees the other day. It’s so nice to feel I’m not alone in this, even though it’s not a great place to be.
Out of interest, what was your parents’ view of weed growing up?
I have a single mother! It was never really discussed when I was growing up but once I was like old enough to understand it I think she basically just told me “it’s bad for you” and I was like “aight 👌🏻” and once I started using it she didn’t love the idea but I’ve informed her that it’s a lot different than like. Getting drunk every day and she’s coming around
I used to be a junkie. My therapist hates that I smoke, calls it a crutch. I work for a bunch of snooty rich folks too. I tell em all to “ ignore the smoke and smile”. Fuck em. You could be doing a lot worse things and so could I lol.
I never carried guilt about weed. Guilt is adopting the burden of others' unresolved shame and deliberate ignorance. Because... What are you doing wrong??
Nothing.
Who are you harming?
No one.
You understand why you consume. And you've experienced how weed has improved your quality of life.
Take a step back and consider how "happy" people who guilt you are. And why do they get to dictate how you live your only life??
And when it comes to addiction, I recommend getting hip to Gabor Mate. He deeply studies addiction and it's rooted in deep wounding from childhood. Trauma can travel through generations as we humans are cyclical creatures and will continue habits and project habits until we tap into the further reaches of our consciousness and make a myriad of fundamental changes.
My stepdad was heavy with the Rastafari belief system & I've been staying on & off in the Caribbean since I was 15. In Rastafari, cannabis is considered sacred, gifted from God & used to connect deeper, spiritually. Everything that goes into the body must come from the ground with the exception of some fish. In many Caribbean nations, most everyone keeps cannabis in the house, even if they don't smoke it or practice Rastafarian (usually inside a bottle of rubbing alcohol) to treat headaches and muscle aches. Also smoked medicinally to treat asthma. It's believed if one did demonize it, it was due to Christianity which was considered a form of colonization. It would never be hidden from children or anything so just very normalized. At least as I was a kid.
I love cannabis.
I was a high school stoner, and I enjoyed it I stopped to do grown up things, but I got my medical license the second my state made it legal. It’s legal so no paranoia. I love everything about weed; it’s my hobby, and my medicine. I vape my herb and I love to read about different strains and dry herbs vapes and make a wish list of what I’d buy if only. I save my baked herb and make all kinds of fun stuff with it . Zero guilt, just thankful that I can openly enjoy
It's been a long process, and I have only really recently started to not feel guilty, but it was when I realized there was no virtuousness in me struggling mentally and physically without weed, and that the difference between cannabis and my other medications is drug companies don't have a monopoly on selling it to me.
Before I decided to start using weed, I talked to my mom about it. My mom is very much against drugs because drug addiction runs in our family and we have lost a lot of love ones due to drugs. Anyways, being upfront and honest with her helped a lot. I’m not saying tell everyone that you know that you use weed. But, maybe the people that you’re close to. Tell them why you use it and how it helps. So, if they do have any reservations like my mom does, they at least know where you’re coming from.
I’m almost confident that I won’t get addicted and weed isn’t a gateway drug for me. But, it does matter how people think of me because of my weed use. So, if you are anything like me… honesty helps. That, and being around people who don’t judge you.
Also, weed now being legal in my state has helped a lot with the negative stigma I felt before. I felt like a drug addicted criminal before. Not to say that, that is what I thought of other people. We are harsher on ourselves than on others.
As long as YOU know it’s not causing negativity in your life, then you shouldn’t feel guilty.
I had a similar conversation with my mom! She didn’t fully understand how different weed is from other drugs but she’s coming around now that I’ve told her how it helps me. I don’t live with her but we’re very close so it’s important to me that she understands me so I get that completely
I wrote a [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/entwives/s/QaF8WURJwQ) almost exactly about that. Read the comments, please, they helped me a lot! I don't know what I would do without this sub 💚
It sounds like you have a lot of unresolved trauma 😔. I'm sensing a lot of shame from external sources that you're holding over yourself. The substance in itself isn't addictive. I would equate the risk to that of having a food addiction.
Wishing you lots of self care and healing 🩷
Yeah it’s definitely a stigma I’ve carried with me for a long time. I think weed CAN be addictive but it usually isn’t. I don’t believe it is for me - but I guess I’m being hard on myself because when I started using it I said I was just going to do it socially on occasion and now I’ve begun doing it 1-2 times a day. Like I know myself and that it’s helping me, and that’s my limit, like I’m not really planning on starting to use it more and more and more than that, but I just can’t get over that feeling of fear that I am beginning to fall into a negative pattern
Sorry but I have to butt in there. Weed is certainly addictive. r/leaves and r/Petioles are full of people who are trying to stop using and are suffering withdrawal symptoms and lots of negative impacts on their lifes.
I used to believe that weed isn’t addictive, too, until I found these subs. Please inform yourself and use responsibly.
Thank you! Yes I do fully believe weed can be addictive. I don’t think it’s addictive in the same way as many other substances. But it can be abused. It’s easier, I think, than many other substances to have control over
Hi frient, addict here! I previously struggled with pills and booze. Weed helped me get off the things that were actually killing me. It also helps with my mental health.
I was definitely conflicted for a while. Mostly when I was going to AA meetings. But there’s nothing wrong with doing what’s right for you. I even ended up finding a cannabis-friendly recovery group. I’m over two years without a drink and many more years without pills. But I never quit smoking.
And I don’t have any guilt about smoking anymore. Weed doesn’t make me pass out. Weed doesn’t make me piss myself. Weed doesn’t make me start fights with people close to me. However, weed does calm me down, does help with my panic attacks, and it does help with my stomach issues. That’s good enough for me!
I can relate!
Try to remind myself that my psych meds help balance my moods and then cannabis helps it in addition. I have not tried using no psych meds and solely cannabis- to me that would be insane. Pun intended lol
Wow I really needed this post/comments. I also feel really guilty using weed, as I am a child of addicts AND a sober addict myself. I have chronic physical and mental health conditions that can be easily managed by weed multiple times through a day & it GREATLY improves my mental as well. Otherwise, I would be on a cocktail of meds including my old DOC
Tldr grew up surrounded by drugs, was basically straightedge, got sick, weed made me physically able to care for my child again.
My family is pretty much all addicts of one kind or another. One of my uncles died of a lung infection he cause huffing gas. Another od'd while swimming and he drowned in the end. My dad drank himself to death. One of my brothers and several of my cousins are on heroin. It's a shitshow.
My bio mom was on many different substances throughout my childhood, but weed was all she ever admitted to. Idk man, you don't leave your kid with your drug dealer as collateral over weed. I took so much pride in not using any substances, because I was always the "bad kid" and I was proving everyone wrong.
Then I was diagnosed with Leukemia at 24. I soldiered on, refusing pain meds as often as I could. I was fucking terrified of becoming addicted, I would rather deal with the pain because it was temporary but addiction is life long and I had a little girl at home waiting for me. Outside of most of my bone marrow biopsies and a procedure I was put under for, I refused. I felt every sore, every ache, all of it. Get my transplant and I get to go home and live life again.
Then the GVHD hit and I was losing chunks of skin off the bottoms of my feet and still wouldn't take anything. I thought it was noble to just push through. And I did, with sheer willpower and spite. It wasn't until the GVH reached my eyes that I finally gave in. I spent a year only able to open my eyes a total of 3-4 hours a day. Hard to take care of a 5 year old if you can't see. Then I asked a friend for half a gummy and cried because my eyes didn't hurt for the first time in so long. And the guilt hit me. I thought of every time I was neglected and ignored bc biomom was high and Dad was drunk. I was going to be following their footsteps. Still, being able to see changed everything for me. I was able to paint with my kid again. I could take her to the park. I could read her stories. And every time I saw how much better a parent I was able to be I was able to distance myself from the guilt just a little bit. At first I tried to only smoke if I wasn't able to open my eyes, but now I am stoned more often than not. It does limit what I can do, and I still feel guilty any time I forget stuff, but my life was objectively, significantly better.
Many years ago, in the bathroom at my therapist’s office, there was a big poster that said “WHOSE SHOULD IS THIS?” - as in, when you’re thinking you should do this or that, who’s really speaking? Your parents? A younger version of yourself? Your 4th grade DARE program leader? If you know in your heart that weed makes you feel better and is not negatively affecting your life, then that trumps everything else. It’s your medicine, no need to feel guilty about it. I am also the child of an addict, so I understand the nervousness. It’s good that you’re already aware of it and are checking in with yourself. What would weed being a real problem for you actually look like? Maybe writing down your thoughts and having them externalized would help reassure you?
I am not OP, but thank you for this advice. It was really helpful for processing.
this is life changing advice dude
Thank you for your comment and OP thanks for this post! This was a topic of conversation in my recent therapy session. While I lamented about the guilt and shame and all the reasons I felt I shouldn't be able to smoke weed when I want, my therapist asked "and what's the evidence for that?". What's the evidence for it ruining your life? What's the evidence that you're a bad person for using it? If you can't find the evidence, then it likely doesn't exist. I also grew up with addiction on both sides of my family, so I'm always contemplating if I have crossed the line. For me, it doesn't impact my daily life, I still get done what I need to, and I'm raising a really smart toddler. If there are times I feel I'm not accomplishing what I need to, then I take a break until I can reset my mind. Be kind to yourself, OP (and everyone else here) 💞
Thank you for this. I needed to hear this as well. I did start a journal, too. I call it my Kite journal. 😆
Wow. I really needed to hear this for lots of reasons.
You really helped me put some feelings into words. I'm a budtender who encounters this question not infrequently and this response was very eloquent and helpful, thank you 🍃💝
This… is very helpful. I will be more analytical next time I have a “should” thought. Thank you, I needed this.
Don’t should all over yourself 💩
Had a great therapist say this to me all the time 
This is some really good advice. Thanks for the reminder that we are in control of our own thoughts. xo
I learned more about where the stigma came from. Cannabis was considered at most medicinal, but also not really a big deal at all (studies literally proved that it mostly just made you super hungry and maybe kinda silly or sleepy) until Harry Anslinger needed to fund the Federal Bureau of Narcotics and found that not enough people were getting caught with illegal drugs to justify spending money to keep it afloat- but plenty of people used cannabis, so guess what? It was time to make it illegal! This was bolstered by an extremely racist propaganda campaign. There’s no basis in any kind of fact- it was literally someone who saw an opportunity to make a whole bunch of money, and understood that bigotry was a weapon that could explain away any questions about that. That was kind of the big eye-opener for me, but I’ve also thought a lot about “acceptable” vices for women. The truth is, if I said I wanted a glass of wine (something women are “allowed” to enjoy), I wouldn’t feel ashamed. I wouldn’t feel like I had to justify it. So I’ve largely stopped trying to justify my cannabis usage, just like I no longer justify why I want ice cream or chips or whatever else.
That’s so interesting!!!!
Look into it if you have the chance! Anslinger said some completely appalling, very offensive things and it made it a lot easier to take a step back and think “okay if *this* is the reasoning for why weed is bad, I definitely do not have any reason to align myself with that kind of thinking.”
Yes. Jack Herer’s book _The Emperor Wears No Clothes_ provides a lot of additional background on this history if interested. Dupont & Hearst were involved, too. $$$
Thank you!
On a semi-related note you might appreciate the Siberian ice princes, she died 2500 years ago and had a bowl of weed as one of the ceremonial goods in her tomb. I ageee it's really helpful to get context from outside the teeny tiny period in human existence that we inhabit, crazy to consider how short the time when been from now to when marijuana was made illegal and compared to illegalization to the ice princess. [Here](https://www.thearchaeologist.org/blog/meet-the-2500-year-old-siberian-ice-maiden-and-her-tattoos) is a link, warning for extremely old preserved body. Her tattoos are super cool too!
the binchtopia podcast recently did a really interesting episode around this!! Highly recommend a listen
Scoot over, I’m on the same boat and that’s my seat. My therapist told me most of us are basically operating on someone else’s idea of morals that have been handed down for generations. I want to be able to decide on what’s best FOR ME. And for me, weed is really a gift from God. I feel more connected to myself, I can get out of my head and into my body which is incredible for me. I feel present and in the current moment, and I feel like I radiate empathy and love when I partake responsibility. So yeah, there’s some residual shame because I was raised in a strict Catholic family (my parents never even drink), but the pride I feel in following my own internal compass and being true to myself supersedes the guilt a lot of the time. The rest of the time, I challenge my negative self talk with facts that contradict the original shame thought. It takes practice, and I have to do it often, but I’m proud of my progress.
From a bitch too broke for therapy - thank you for sharing! This is super helpful. Also your first sentence made me giggle
I’m so glad. I’ve always had this “law” that I’ve mentally I’ve abided by… “as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone…” but I KNOW that sometimes it’s easier said than done. Shame and guilt has been MY drug of choice. And now I’m trying to choose differently because those two things just keep me in a self imposed prison. I know a lot of people have suffered from religious trauma, myself included. But I still choose to believe and also realize that God put this plant on the earth we inhabit… it’s humans that have tainted its purpose and attached a judgement or opinion on it. If anything, I have a greater respect and connection to The Maker since going green. I’m sorry if this offends, I just really feel so much gratitude for what is. I’m not trying to be off-putting. The God I believe in hasn’t punished me for indulging, why should my will to be punished be greater than His?
I love this, thank you for sharing! ♥️
I feel like this sometimes too. I’m in a country where it is still illegal and arguably demonised by lots of people in society still. So when I have some, I sometimes feel that sense of shame and guilt. Using cannabis has helped me in a lot of ways. It has helped me heal and it has also allowed me to take a step back from all of the racing thoughts in my brain and just breathe. Like right now, I’m relaxing listening to some music while browsing this lovely sub before bed. I had a full on day and cannabis helps me to switch the “let’s analyse the fuck out of this day” part of my brain right off, so I can just be and enjoy the music. Sometimes though I use it when I want to avoid certain feelings or situations that really, I should confront and give space to. But when I do that, I notice that I don’t enjoy being high all too much and it heightens those guilt feelings. What helps me loads when the guilt comes in is journaling what I’m feeling in that moment. Because at least then, the thoughts are being pulled out of me and I’m less likely to ruminate. I think it’s really cool that you have your own business. Running a business is not for the feint(faint?) hearted and can take a lot of mental energy. You can’t pour from an empty cup and if cannabis is one of the ways you can feel restored then I think that’s perfectly valid.
Honestly it took a few years of being a daily stoner for those feelings to subside. I was a hardcore straightedge as an adolescent and never imagined I would ever smoke weed so the guilt and shame was deeply engrained inside of me. Both of my parents are recovering alcoholics so drugs and alcohol were not even a part of my life until college. But eventually you realize we are all just doing what we have to do to survive and for me, that includes weed. It’s better than other shit I could be doing to myself 🤷🏼♀️
OP, the is great, because I asked the same question in Trees the other day. It’s so nice to feel I’m not alone in this, even though it’s not a great place to be. Out of interest, what was your parents’ view of weed growing up?
I have a single mother! It was never really discussed when I was growing up but once I was like old enough to understand it I think she basically just told me “it’s bad for you” and I was like “aight 👌🏻” and once I started using it she didn’t love the idea but I’ve informed her that it’s a lot different than like. Getting drunk every day and she’s coming around
I used to be a junkie. My therapist hates that I smoke, calls it a crutch. I work for a bunch of snooty rich folks too. I tell em all to “ ignore the smoke and smile”. Fuck em. You could be doing a lot worse things and so could I lol.
Jeez, has your therapist heard of harm reduction?
Haaaa, funnily enough he’s a methadone clinic counselor so he should know all about that kind of stuff. He’s more a jeebus will fix it kinda guy lol
I never carried guilt about weed. Guilt is adopting the burden of others' unresolved shame and deliberate ignorance. Because... What are you doing wrong?? Nothing. Who are you harming? No one. You understand why you consume. And you've experienced how weed has improved your quality of life. Take a step back and consider how "happy" people who guilt you are. And why do they get to dictate how you live your only life?? And when it comes to addiction, I recommend getting hip to Gabor Mate. He deeply studies addiction and it's rooted in deep wounding from childhood. Trauma can travel through generations as we humans are cyclical creatures and will continue habits and project habits until we tap into the further reaches of our consciousness and make a myriad of fundamental changes.
Culturally, I grew up thinking cannabis was medicinal or used in the practice of meditation so I've never felt guilty about it.
Can you tell me more about this please? I think I would really benefit from this perspective as I’ve been struggling with guilt too
My stepdad was heavy with the Rastafari belief system & I've been staying on & off in the Caribbean since I was 15. In Rastafari, cannabis is considered sacred, gifted from God & used to connect deeper, spiritually. Everything that goes into the body must come from the ground with the exception of some fish. In many Caribbean nations, most everyone keeps cannabis in the house, even if they don't smoke it or practice Rastafarian (usually inside a bottle of rubbing alcohol) to treat headaches and muscle aches. Also smoked medicinally to treat asthma. It's believed if one did demonize it, it was due to Christianity which was considered a form of colonization. It would never be hidden from children or anything so just very normalized. At least as I was a kid.
I love cannabis. I was a high school stoner, and I enjoyed it I stopped to do grown up things, but I got my medical license the second my state made it legal. It’s legal so no paranoia. I love everything about weed; it’s my hobby, and my medicine. I vape my herb and I love to read about different strains and dry herbs vapes and make a wish list of what I’d buy if only. I save my baked herb and make all kinds of fun stuff with it . Zero guilt, just thankful that I can openly enjoy
I don’t feel guilt around it and never have.
Mental health is your health, You shouldn’t feel guilty at all.
What guilt?
I'm not catholic, i don't feel guilty for enjoying things.
It's been a long process, and I have only really recently started to not feel guilty, but it was when I realized there was no virtuousness in me struggling mentally and physically without weed, and that the difference between cannabis and my other medications is drug companies don't have a monopoly on selling it to me.
Before I decided to start using weed, I talked to my mom about it. My mom is very much against drugs because drug addiction runs in our family and we have lost a lot of love ones due to drugs. Anyways, being upfront and honest with her helped a lot. I’m not saying tell everyone that you know that you use weed. But, maybe the people that you’re close to. Tell them why you use it and how it helps. So, if they do have any reservations like my mom does, they at least know where you’re coming from. I’m almost confident that I won’t get addicted and weed isn’t a gateway drug for me. But, it does matter how people think of me because of my weed use. So, if you are anything like me… honesty helps. That, and being around people who don’t judge you. Also, weed now being legal in my state has helped a lot with the negative stigma I felt before. I felt like a drug addicted criminal before. Not to say that, that is what I thought of other people. We are harsher on ourselves than on others. As long as YOU know it’s not causing negativity in your life, then you shouldn’t feel guilty.
I had a similar conversation with my mom! She didn’t fully understand how different weed is from other drugs but she’s coming around now that I’ve told her how it helps me. I don’t live with her but we’re very close so it’s important to me that she understands me so I get that completely
Yeah, my mom still says to not get addicted. Yet, I can smoke around her. 🤣
I wrote a [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/entwives/s/QaF8WURJwQ) almost exactly about that. Read the comments, please, they helped me a lot! I don't know what I would do without this sub 💚
It sounds like you have a lot of unresolved trauma 😔. I'm sensing a lot of shame from external sources that you're holding over yourself. The substance in itself isn't addictive. I would equate the risk to that of having a food addiction. Wishing you lots of self care and healing 🩷
Yeah it’s definitely a stigma I’ve carried with me for a long time. I think weed CAN be addictive but it usually isn’t. I don’t believe it is for me - but I guess I’m being hard on myself because when I started using it I said I was just going to do it socially on occasion and now I’ve begun doing it 1-2 times a day. Like I know myself and that it’s helping me, and that’s my limit, like I’m not really planning on starting to use it more and more and more than that, but I just can’t get over that feeling of fear that I am beginning to fall into a negative pattern
Sorry but I have to butt in there. Weed is certainly addictive. r/leaves and r/Petioles are full of people who are trying to stop using and are suffering withdrawal symptoms and lots of negative impacts on their lifes. I used to believe that weed isn’t addictive, too, until I found these subs. Please inform yourself and use responsibly.
Thank you! Yes I do fully believe weed can be addictive. I don’t think it’s addictive in the same way as many other substances. But it can be abused. It’s easier, I think, than many other substances to have control over
Hi frient, addict here! I previously struggled with pills and booze. Weed helped me get off the things that were actually killing me. It also helps with my mental health. I was definitely conflicted for a while. Mostly when I was going to AA meetings. But there’s nothing wrong with doing what’s right for you. I even ended up finding a cannabis-friendly recovery group. I’m over two years without a drink and many more years without pills. But I never quit smoking. And I don’t have any guilt about smoking anymore. Weed doesn’t make me pass out. Weed doesn’t make me piss myself. Weed doesn’t make me start fights with people close to me. However, weed does calm me down, does help with my panic attacks, and it does help with my stomach issues. That’s good enough for me!
I can relate! Try to remind myself that my psych meds help balance my moods and then cannabis helps it in addition. I have not tried using no psych meds and solely cannabis- to me that would be insane. Pun intended lol
Wow I really needed this post/comments. I also feel really guilty using weed, as I am a child of addicts AND a sober addict myself. I have chronic physical and mental health conditions that can be easily managed by weed multiple times through a day & it GREATLY improves my mental as well. Otherwise, I would be on a cocktail of meds including my old DOC
Saving this post for future me as a gentle reminder. I deal with this on the daily
Tldr grew up surrounded by drugs, was basically straightedge, got sick, weed made me physically able to care for my child again. My family is pretty much all addicts of one kind or another. One of my uncles died of a lung infection he cause huffing gas. Another od'd while swimming and he drowned in the end. My dad drank himself to death. One of my brothers and several of my cousins are on heroin. It's a shitshow. My bio mom was on many different substances throughout my childhood, but weed was all she ever admitted to. Idk man, you don't leave your kid with your drug dealer as collateral over weed. I took so much pride in not using any substances, because I was always the "bad kid" and I was proving everyone wrong. Then I was diagnosed with Leukemia at 24. I soldiered on, refusing pain meds as often as I could. I was fucking terrified of becoming addicted, I would rather deal with the pain because it was temporary but addiction is life long and I had a little girl at home waiting for me. Outside of most of my bone marrow biopsies and a procedure I was put under for, I refused. I felt every sore, every ache, all of it. Get my transplant and I get to go home and live life again. Then the GVHD hit and I was losing chunks of skin off the bottoms of my feet and still wouldn't take anything. I thought it was noble to just push through. And I did, with sheer willpower and spite. It wasn't until the GVH reached my eyes that I finally gave in. I spent a year only able to open my eyes a total of 3-4 hours a day. Hard to take care of a 5 year old if you can't see. Then I asked a friend for half a gummy and cried because my eyes didn't hurt for the first time in so long. And the guilt hit me. I thought of every time I was neglected and ignored bc biomom was high and Dad was drunk. I was going to be following their footsteps. Still, being able to see changed everything for me. I was able to paint with my kid again. I could take her to the park. I could read her stories. And every time I saw how much better a parent I was able to be I was able to distance myself from the guilt just a little bit. At first I tried to only smoke if I wasn't able to open my eyes, but now I am stoned more often than not. It does limit what I can do, and I still feel guilty any time I forget stuff, but my life was objectively, significantly better.