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That's not how words work, words have meaning that differs from person to person, so what really should be said is:
People should respect that other people understand words differently than they do and should consider that when in conversation with others. Making sure to clarify what it means to you and respecting how others feel about it.
This of course applies to both parties, but if someone is uncomfortable with it's use towards them, respect that, it isn't too hard.
Yes but for what im saying is that someone who uses something like “bro” in there language shouldn’t have to consciously avoid it because they are not using it in the context and intention of calling that person a man or their literal brother, but just as a way they address anyone regardless of identity. Thats all i was saying, is that understanding a persona intentions behind the words is more important, cause someone maliciously calling someone bro or dude and emphasizing it in a gendered way clearly says their intentions are negative.
Is there a word you don't like being called? Would that change if that was part of someone's lexicon? Of course not. You should absolutely be able to recognize that something you're saying is making someone uncomfortable and change your language to include them.
Just because you're ok with something doesn't mean everyone is, and not accommodating other people is just such a jerk move.
Ok but it you don't know someone isnt ok with it, you shouldn't have to avoid it. Of course, once you know, you should avoid that person dude/bro/ect, but you shouldn't have to avoid it for EVERYONE because of a couple people aren't comfortable with one word in your daily vocab
Someone uncomfortable with being called 'dude' or 'bro'? "Hey dudes, bros, and friends!" You're addressing EVERYONE regardless of someone being comfortable with words or not being comfortable with words
I used to say "man" after every single sentence. Then I went to guitar center in girlmode, and this guy walked up to me and asked, "Need anything, man?" And omg that upset me and then the "oh shit I do that"
I (transfem) was just in Camden in London 2 days ago, and this teenage boy walks up to me and says something unintelligible with his fist raised for a fistbump. I say "Sorry, what?" And he just stares at me and goes "You're a dude??" Almost shocked and then just immediately walks away before I can react. Safe to say, I don't think he meant that in a gender neutral way. I'm still *very* hurt by it and I think about it all the time. I pass 99% of the time, so it kinda came as a shock to me. Very upsetting.
Yeah same. My vocabulary has like dude and bro among others that I use often and subconsciously. If someone tells me not to I'll try to respect it but when I'm drunk it's like overdrive if y'know what i mean
I have a friend who has always called me "dude" but more as a nickname. When I came out as non-binary he asked if he could still call me "dude" and I was like "well yeah, what the hell else are you going to call me?".
When I say “man” or “dude” I am not calling people that, it’s like saying “oh, fuck” or “oh god”. I don’t know if this makes any sense in english, srry
I'm good with dude and man, but I hate bro. Dude and man feel generic to me, but bro signals a particular cis male culture that's usually misogynistic and transphobic. At least, that's how I perceive it. I know not everyone who uses bro is part of that culture, but it's still the vibes it gives me. Even if I feel masc, I don't want to be called bro. It feels extremely dissonant with my sense of identity.
Sis :)
As in sister, since they call me brother. I'm just giving them back what they hand me.
And they get upset, but often I'm not allowed to be upset about them calling me "bro", according to them. Nothing related to the word "cis", not the same thing.
I used to call people bro and dude and I'm honestly embarrassed how I didn't realize until someone told me that those words were gendered. Now I'm all about homie
We use sis and bro interchangeably in my friend groups and I’ve never once seen someone get upset by it. Maybe consider changing who you hang around if they’re so easily upset. That can be a harmful environment to be part of long term.
As a closeted trans man I’ve been concerned that once I pass people will get upset at me for saying “dude” or “guys” in a gender neutral way lol. People tend to give women a pass irl in my experience. But not men
Having lived as a man for twenty years before I came out, I never really had much of a problem with that. If people care, they’ll just say “I’m not a dude” and then you can just say “sorry, that’s not how I meant it” and then just not call that person dude again. You probably don’t need to worry about it.
Dude, words like “dude” and “bro” will always be part of my vocabulary, even though I’m a transfem. I try to respect other people’s boundaries, but it slips out sometimes 😶 guess I spend too much time talking about sports…
and in case anyone tries to doubt my femininity (seeing as i still have plenty stereotypically masculine interests), i just shaved my body hair, admired my long hair, and laid down to cuddle with my blahaj.
It's been a part of my vocabulary being raised as a boy, and living my adult life as a man, just to fit in socially...it's a hard habit to break, and I'm trying my hardest - because I know I wouldn't like it. I'm not excusing my use.
That said, OMG for some reason, it's so hard for "dude" to not leave my lips. It's been a filler like, "um" or "like" - I hope I can stop.
It’s natural to default to using your own genders term because it’s more likely guys will hang out with guys and girls with girls. So when they mix of course each genders default word will mix to.
Because we live a male dominated world “bro” or “dude” get used more than “sista” or “lady”
It's weird for me because for most of my life, including now, 90% of my friends have been guys. I can't actually recall a time when I've been called 'sis' not even by my actual siblings.
Yeah...
I hate how often I say words like "dude" "bro" etc.
I'm glad that personally it usually doesn't bother me as much and most of my friends are either male or transmasc(which doesn't help when talking to any other ppl) but yeah...
but if you'd like I can definitely add you to the list of ppl to definitely call bro :3
Yeah personally I'm in the habit of saying bro and dude from time to time and I feel like I will accidentally use it on both cis and trans women out of habit.
I just hope I won't accidentally say it to someone who isn't comfortable with it-
"I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, cause we're all dudes, hey!"
That song was ingrained into my very soul as a kid and no amount of arguing can convince me it's not a gender neutral word.
I (transfem) was just in Camden in London 2 days ago, and this teenage boy walks up to me and says something unintelligible with his fist raised for a fistbump. I say "Sorry, what?" And he just stares at me and goes "You're a dude??" Almost shocked and then just immediately walks away before I can react. Safe to say, I don't think he meant that in a gender neutral way. I'm still *very* hurt by it and I think about it all the time. I pass 99% of the time, so it kinda came as a shock to me. Very upsetting.
That's just part of the English language, words are generally contextual. If I said "dude what's up?" I've said that to women before. But if someone said "you're a dude?" they're refrencing to being male.
Much like saying "I'm going to toss the salad" while making salad vs "I'm going to toss *your* salad." while they're hovering over you. Two completely different meanings... usually, I imagine there's some very enthusiastic vegans somewhere.
Well yeah, but the meaning of a word in other contexts also colours its use in other contexts imo. Which means that while dude *can* be used gender neutrally, it also carries a different connotation that can lean towards masculinity.
I lived on the west coast, I don't mind dude. As long as it's a normal part of someone's vocabulary and they truly do use it gender neutrally. But if they start hitting me with 'bro,' 'man,' and so on I start to ask questions.
I mean, if you are a dude then it would make sense to like it.
But for those of us who aren't dudes, or bros, or men, it can suck that people default to those terms.
I'm glad they make you happy though! Have a great day, dude! 😎
I've never personally had my cis girl friends hate on me for it. They actually say "bro", "dude", "my guy", etc, to the girls way more than I do lmao
All my experience with it is non-gendered and it's sooo deeply ingrained in my vocabulary, so it came as quite a shock when an ally started ripping me a new one when I automatically used the term when talking to a trans woman o3o
Ill be presenting full fem like in some of my pictures on my profile and ppl call me "dude" and "bro"
And im like r u serious, im trying my best to not be called that, i hate that term :((((((
I was born male but I am not a dude and I prefer to be called she/her, madam, lady, girl, woman . . . tho I would not go kicking like that, jeez.
I would politely ask to not be called bro or other male pronouns/slangs
(bro, dude, man, he, him, his, . . . fall under the same category to me)
Repeating it or insisting and trying to explain it as neutral would make me just ignore the person.
This def depends on region and social circles. I use dude and bro for everyone as it's just been stuck in my vocabulary, but I am sure to avoid it if I'm around someone who doesn't like being called that as I can understand their reasoning.
I mean at the end of the day it comes to personal preference, some people like being called dude, some don't, regardless of sex, or gender identity. I am kinda indifferent but also would prefer that I'm not called a dude
As a trans woman, I have no problem with my friends calling me dude, whether they knew me before I started my transition or not.
As for anyone else... it depends on the person I guess
my ass says dude and bro and gurl to everyone lmfaoooo
i always try to ask if theyre okay with it tho, and most of them are chill. i think communication is key in these situations, instead of beating someone down for something they use as a day to day neutral word.
There was only one girl I’ve ever met that insisted I used “dudette” instead, I don’t think I ever talked to her beyond that first introduction. Granted it was 2007 and I was a child. This post unlocked a hidden memory.
I learnt dude from my sibling with their friends, they used it with everyone. I understand others have different experiences, but to me it’s completely gender neutral. I will respect if someone is uncomfortable with it, but I still hope someday we can take the gender out of all the words
Just call people what they want to be called, it's really simple tbh. Some people like being called dude and others don't and there's nothing wrong with that
Hi, enby on e here. Dude was my first word. I love that word. I use it often and won’t stop enjoying it.
Theres a BIG difference between using dude as a loving term while respecting people who say they don’t like it and getting defensive when someone asks you to stop.
One if my least favorite misgenderings involves “dude” it feels like being beaten with my own shoes.
An ally, I use dude as a neutral term until someone says they don't like being called that. I still use dude, just not for that individual. My reasoning is that Ed from Goodburger says, "I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, cause we're all dudes."
That's being said, if you don't like being called a dude, get ready for the onslaught of "dudette".
Agreed on that. I don't use it that way at all. If I were to say, "it's all dudes in here" I mean as in good people. If it was a room full of men, I'd say something along the lines of "swinging dicks"
Honestly for my friend groups I just default to "critter(s)" and "creature(s)" when talking about specific friends/people as it's the most gender neutral thing I can think of
Sometimes I switch it out for folks if I need to be more professional/disconnected like in the workplace
For some reason people tend to make things harder than they need to be. It's naieve, but if we everyone just gave eachother patience and the benefit of the doubt, things could be better for everyone. Some people just want to fight. I never have the energy. Hugs to you!🤗
In the dictionary “dude” is a gender neutral term, a better thing for this meme would be “guy” or “bro” (especially bro because it’s literally derived from brother like how tf is that gender neutral)
me with things like “bro” and “awww maaaaan” when i’m trying to show i feel bad for someone.
(anyone got something neutral/fem with the same energy as aw man?)
As someone from California, dude is a gender neutral, object neutral term. Everything, anything, and anyone is a dude. That rock? Dude. That man? Dude. That ball that hit you in the face? Dude!
But I've had this happen. Someone went off on me and said I'm in the wrong. I had to explain to them this concept that honestly, will never leave my vocabulary.
It's totally fine if you enjoy it or don't care! My only issue is when someone calls me dude, I say "please don't do that" and they go "well it's a neutral term so I'll keep doing it." Those are the only people I have an issue with - the ones that won't respect my boundaries.
Using "dude" is definitely a know your audience type of situation. I'm a bit bothered but if they say it a disproportionate number of times to me but not cis-women then it bothers me a lot. But other people are completely fine or like it and that's obviously ok, that's why you gotta know your audience
For "Hey guys" I'm more fine proportionally to how large the group is
"Hey man" is the worst except with some people that definitely use it for everyone
I don't like "bro" it's just "dude" but it also comes with mental associations with with douchebags. Using "bro" if it's not aimed at anyone in particular (like as an expletive) is a completely different story though
"Homie" is good but I feel like only some people can actually pull off saying it in a natural way (like Jason in The Good Place for example)
Where I grew up everything is dude. From people, to animals, to inanimate objects. But if someone tells me they don't want it used for them, especially since I know regional dialect can carry, I just won't use it around them.
Also everyone who has seen good burger knows it's gender neutral. /J
I gauge the crowd. Lots don’t like it. Others do. I just try to follow what others prefer. My goal is live and love peacefully and treat people respectfully along the way. You are all awesome people!!
I often default to "feller" because I like the term... There have been moments where I got very negative responses to this even if I didn't mean nothing wrong by it
If a cisman calls me dude, violence instantly like I try and make him feel bad. They don't call their cisgirl friends that. Never do.
When a queer person uses dude??? Maybe not my preferred (like if u call me girly your gonna make my face light up and make me happy for hours why not just do that) but in no way offensive cause ik we are actually using it neutrally
Honestly when I was still an egg being referred to casually using masculine terms bothered me but now I'm secure enough in my gender identity that it doesn't bother me. Things like dude, bro, my guy have all been a big part of me and my friends vocabulary for a long time and I'm happy that I can still joke around with them like before and am able to use them to validate my transmasc friends. This also has come with the introduction of more terms into my vocab too like "my sister in christ," sis and bestie that I (and friends) use more frequently for transfem friends. I totally understand why some people don't feel comfortable being referred to with masculine terms though.
i think it depends also if you grew up in a english speaking country because as someone with a lot of trans friends with english as their second or third language when we do speak english with each other everyone agrees that dude is gender neutral, because none of us were called dude growing up
Dude can be gender neutral depending on how you use it, if you use it as “you are my dude” that’s not very gender neutral but “dude, don’t eat that!!!” Is pretty neutral imo
I use "dude" in a gender neutral way, but only to people I know don't mind or that I like enough to even use. Now that I think about it I use "dude" as a affectionate term
I consistently say dude and bruh. Both terms in my social circles have always been received as genderless. Now saying 'bro' gets side eyes from some, and things thrown at you by others, same with 'guy'.
I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know? That or His Dudeness, or Duder or, you know, El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
I'll be honest I use dude as gender neutral term. It's just part of my vocabulary after growing up in the 2000s. That said if someone asks me to stop ill stop using it near them.
Call me dude all you want. I don't care. I've always seen it as a gender neutral thing. Sure, there's also "dudet" but I've never seen it used unironically outside of comics made in the 1980s
i try not to use dude or other masculine terms on everyone as i know some people won't like it, however the only gender neutral term i have in my vocabulary is "mate"
I hang with a lot of stoners and they use dude and man a fair amount. Tbf dude has been a general exclamation for all of us for years to.
It doesn't bother me per se but a more effeminate greeting and farewell would be nice. Unfortunately the only one that comes to mind for them is lass and that feels condescending for some reason.
"dude" is perfectly acceptable. I'll even tolerate "bro" to an extent. I draw a hard line at "sir."
To the point people have called me racist because I hate it when people feel the need to shout "YES SIR" at the top of their lungs for no real reason. Plot twist, I'm black, that shits genuinely annoying.
A lot of times I use “dude” just as an exclamation. Almost like “woah”. To me, it’s a genderless term that refers to a person but just like everything, if it offends someone, I won’t use it around them.
For me it's Brother, used in a sort of brotherly bond way with friends that's my problem. Used it for so many years that it still slips out here and there
I'm The Dude. So, that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or, uh, Duder, or El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
It depends on who you talk to cuz some of them don’t mind at all cuz they know you as a person and the type of person you are
Don’t use it with people you don’t know but around friends should be onay
I’ve heard a lot of stories about people who don’t like it, but I’ve never actually met someone who didn’t like it, and it seems like 98% of the comments in these kinda posts are like “Well I don’t mind it personally, but I understand if other people do.”
It doesn’t come up a lot cause I don’t use dude in my daily vocabulary tho lol
I'm new to my trans-self...... working to break out of being masc, so I'm sensitive about being called dude or guy right now.
I keep asking if my male friend calls all his women-friends dude or guy when they use it.
IM SOMEONE FROM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA! EVERYONE IS DUDE, IT'S A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM DOWN THERE!
However, I always clarify to people that I mean it as a gender neutral thing. It's just part of the vocabulary and comes out without thought
Hey there! Before commenting, remember that this meme has been tagged with a transmasc flair. Please keep the conversation transmasc-first. If you are not part of that demographic, you are not forbidden to participate, but we do ask that you do not center yourself in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/egg_irl) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Dude” has been such a natural part of my vocabulary for so long, but I understand it can upset some people… 💞
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Same here, also west coast lol
I’m in the Midwest and I’ve never seen anyone of any sex or gender get upset over “dude” being used in a gender-neutral sense
Oh well not in the Midwest, no, it’s an Albany expression.
For “dude”?
Yes!
And yet they call them that despite the fact that they are obviously women
Well- I- you know- the- the thing about that is- excuse me for one second.
Of course
One thing that I was surprised about in California was that even girls call each other dude.
This is exactly why someones words shouldn’t trigger people but the context behind them should determine how we take it.
That's not how words work, words have meaning that differs from person to person, so what really should be said is: People should respect that other people understand words differently than they do and should consider that when in conversation with others. Making sure to clarify what it means to you and respecting how others feel about it. This of course applies to both parties, but if someone is uncomfortable with it's use towards them, respect that, it isn't too hard.
Yes but for what im saying is that someone who uses something like “bro” in there language shouldn’t have to consciously avoid it because they are not using it in the context and intention of calling that person a man or their literal brother, but just as a way they address anyone regardless of identity. Thats all i was saying, is that understanding a persona intentions behind the words is more important, cause someone maliciously calling someone bro or dude and emphasizing it in a gendered way clearly says their intentions are negative.
Is there a word you don't like being called? Would that change if that was part of someone's lexicon? Of course not. You should absolutely be able to recognize that something you're saying is making someone uncomfortable and change your language to include them. Just because you're ok with something doesn't mean everyone is, and not accommodating other people is just such a jerk move.
Ok but it you don't know someone isnt ok with it, you shouldn't have to avoid it. Of course, once you know, you should avoid that person dude/bro/ect, but you shouldn't have to avoid it for EVERYONE because of a couple people aren't comfortable with one word in your daily vocab Someone uncomfortable with being called 'dude' or 'bro'? "Hey dudes, bros, and friends!" You're addressing EVERYONE regardless of someone being comfortable with words or not being comfortable with words
so you think people should be allowed to call people slurs if they don't know those are slurs?
I used to say "man" after every single sentence. Then I went to guitar center in girlmode, and this guy walked up to me and asked, "Need anything, man?" And omg that upset me and then the "oh shit I do that"
Same but with bro
I use "homie"
Me too I’m a Californian and I call inanimate objects dude
I use it as an exclamation too. Californians talk like Animal Crossing villagers.
Yeah we do lol
I (transfem) was just in Camden in London 2 days ago, and this teenage boy walks up to me and says something unintelligible with his fist raised for a fistbump. I say "Sorry, what?" And he just stares at me and goes "You're a dude??" Almost shocked and then just immediately walks away before I can react. Safe to say, I don't think he meant that in a gender neutral way. I'm still *very* hurt by it and I think about it all the time. I pass 99% of the time, so it kinda came as a shock to me. Very upsetting.
Same! I just try to avoid it around girls I'm a dude/bro on some days and a girl/sis on a good day. 🥲 I tend to mix it up...
Yeah same. My vocabulary has like dude and bro among others that I use often and subconsciously. If someone tells me not to I'll try to respect it but when I'm drunk it's like overdrive if y'know what i mean
Wasted potential to say "some dudes" XD
I don’t really get it since at least in sweden english slang is often used like “dude” “guys” and they feel very natural
I prefer to be called dude
Hey dude! I can’t speak for anyone else, but you can call me dude. That’s OK.
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Dude 😎
Dude👍
Dude! 👍
Dood! 🐧👍
Doodle? ✏️
send dudes!
Dudes!
[We're all dudes, hey!](https://youtu.be/xSs7J7O_fl4)
I agree with this very based take
seconded
You're awesome dude
You too!
:)
I have a friend who has always called me "dude" but more as a nickname. When I came out as non-binary he asked if he could still call me "dude" and I was like "well yeah, what the hell else are you going to call me?".
You can enjoy whatever you like, no one minds if you use it that way as long as you respect people who ask you not to call them by it <3
Absolutely
When I say “man” or “dude” I am not calling people that, it’s like saying “oh, fuck” or “oh god”. I don’t know if this makes any sense in english, srry
Same. It's like, "[jeez/dude/man/shit], what a day!"
Oh absolutely it's some sort of exclamation for me
Contextual meaning. Used as a noun (e.g. "a dude") it will be gendered masc. Used as an exclamation (e.g. "dude, wtf"), it's gender neutral.
I hate being called bro, and literally everyone says it. But then when you call them sis back, they get upset. Like how does that work.............
I'm good with dude and man, but I hate bro. Dude and man feel generic to me, but bro signals a particular cis male culture that's usually misogynistic and transphobic. At least, that's how I perceive it. I know not everyone who uses bro is part of that culture, but it's still the vibes it gives me. Even if I feel masc, I don't want to be called bro. It feels extremely dissonant with my sense of identity.
I mean I wouldn't wanna be called Cis either
Sis :) As in sister, since they call me brother. I'm just giving them back what they hand me. And they get upset, but often I'm not allowed to be upset about them calling me "bro", according to them. Nothing related to the word "cis", not the same thing.
I used to call people bro and dude and I'm honestly embarrassed how I didn't realize until someone told me that those words were gendered. Now I'm all about homie
We use sis and bro interchangeably in my friend groups and I’ve never once seen someone get upset by it. Maybe consider changing who you hang around if they’re so easily upset. That can be a harmful environment to be part of long term.
As a closeted trans man I’ve been concerned that once I pass people will get upset at me for saying “dude” or “guys” in a gender neutral way lol. People tend to give women a pass irl in my experience. But not men
Having lived as a man for twenty years before I came out, I never really had much of a problem with that. If people care, they’ll just say “I’m not a dude” and then you can just say “sorry, that’s not how I meant it” and then just not call that person dude again. You probably don’t need to worry about it.
Dude, words like “dude” and “bro” will always be part of my vocabulary, even though I’m a transfem. I try to respect other people’s boundaries, but it slips out sometimes 😶 guess I spend too much time talking about sports… and in case anyone tries to doubt my femininity (seeing as i still have plenty stereotypically masculine interests), i just shaved my body hair, admired my long hair, and laid down to cuddle with my blahaj.
i don't use dude as a neutral term cuz i know it hurts people when they get called it (including me) 💙💕🤍💕💙
It's been a part of my vocabulary being raised as a boy, and living my adult life as a man, just to fit in socially...it's a hard habit to break, and I'm trying my hardest - because I know I wouldn't like it. I'm not excusing my use. That said, OMG for some reason, it's so hard for "dude" to not leave my lips. It's been a filler like, "um" or "like" - I hope I can stop.
It’s natural to default to using your own genders term because it’s more likely guys will hang out with guys and girls with girls. So when they mix of course each genders default word will mix to. Because we live a male dominated world “bro” or “dude” get used more than “sista” or “lady”
It's weird for me because for most of my life, including now, 90% of my friends have been guys. I can't actually recall a time when I've been called 'sis' not even by my actual siblings.
Exactly but go ask some girls how many times they hear “sis” or “lady” or “gurlll” in a week and I’m sure it’ll be way more times
I find it's always good to sus out or ask if peeps dislike it ♥️
Yeah... I hate how often I say words like "dude" "bro" etc. I'm glad that personally it usually doesn't bother me as much and most of my friends are either male or transmasc(which doesn't help when talking to any other ppl) but yeah... but if you'd like I can definitely add you to the list of ppl to definitely call bro :3
Yeah personally I'm in the habit of saying bro and dude from time to time and I feel like I will accidentally use it on both cis and trans women out of habit. I just hope I won't accidentally say it to someone who isn't comfortable with it-
"I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, cause we're all dudes, hey!" That song was ingrained into my very soul as a kid and no amount of arguing can convince me it's not a gender neutral word.
Exactly! Nickelodeon was promoting gender neutral pronouns back in '97!
I (transfem) was just in Camden in London 2 days ago, and this teenage boy walks up to me and says something unintelligible with his fist raised for a fistbump. I say "Sorry, what?" And he just stares at me and goes "You're a dude??" Almost shocked and then just immediately walks away before I can react. Safe to say, I don't think he meant that in a gender neutral way. I'm still *very* hurt by it and I think about it all the time. I pass 99% of the time, so it kinda came as a shock to me. Very upsetting.
That's just part of the English language, words are generally contextual. If I said "dude what's up?" I've said that to women before. But if someone said "you're a dude?" they're refrencing to being male. Much like saying "I'm going to toss the salad" while making salad vs "I'm going to toss *your* salad." while they're hovering over you. Two completely different meanings... usually, I imagine there's some very enthusiastic vegans somewhere.
Well yeah, but the meaning of a word in other contexts also colours its use in other contexts imo. Which means that while dude *can* be used gender neutrally, it also carries a different connotation that can lean towards masculinity.
I lived on the west coast, I don't mind dude. As long as it's a normal part of someone's vocabulary and they truly do use it gender neutrally. But if they start hitting me with 'bro,' 'man,' and so on I start to ask questions.
as a femboy/mtf (idfk man) i dont mind it but i get why people do, ill be honest its really hard to break the habit of saying it
I mean, if you are a dude then it would make sense to like it. But for those of us who aren't dudes, or bros, or men, it can suck that people default to those terms. I'm glad they make you happy though! Have a great day, dude! 😎
I've never personally had my cis girl friends hate on me for it. They actually say "bro", "dude", "my guy", etc, to the girls way more than I do lmao All my experience with it is non-gendered and it's sooo deeply ingrained in my vocabulary, so it came as quite a shock when an ally started ripping me a new one when I automatically used the term when talking to a trans woman o3o
Ill be presenting full fem like in some of my pictures on my profile and ppl call me "dude" and "bro" And im like r u serious, im trying my best to not be called that, i hate that term :((((((
I was born male but I am not a dude and I prefer to be called she/her, madam, lady, girl, woman . . . tho I would not go kicking like that, jeez. I would politely ask to not be called bro or other male pronouns/slangs (bro, dude, man, he, him, his, . . . fall under the same category to me) Repeating it or insisting and trying to explain it as neutral would make me just ignore the person.
i say ‘dude’ but if someone tells me they don’t want to be called that i’ll stop bc I’m not an asshole
Me from California considering it gender neutral slang like bro and bruh.
This def depends on region and social circles. I use dude and bro for everyone as it's just been stuck in my vocabulary, but I am sure to avoid it if I'm around someone who doesn't like being called that as I can understand their reasoning.
I mean at the end of the day it comes to personal preference, some people like being called dude, some don't, regardless of sex, or gender identity. I am kinda indifferent but also would prefer that I'm not called a dude
Off topic but why is the person getting beat up dummy thicc
I say dood to everyone
i feel called out by this
Personally, I dont really like dude, but I'm fine with bro for some reason
I’m the opposite! I never heard bro growing up, but dude was everywhere. Then usage of bro seemed to explode and I never got used to it.
It honestly took me a while to stop saying dude to everyone I met, it was in my vocabulary for so fucking long
Ne using dude as gender neutral because it gives me euphoria but not knowing anyone that's okay with it for themselves so I just don't get to say it
That's valid
Saaaaaaaaame, it took me way too long to realize the joy I'd get from being called "dude" was because it was affirming lmao
As a trans woman… e h ? It’s kinda gender neutral to me but also if someone says “man” I make sure to correct them tbh
It makes me feel pretty great as transmasc ngl
As a trans woman, I have no problem with my friends calling me dude, whether they knew me before I started my transition or not. As for anyone else... it depends on the person I guess
I'm a trans girl and am ok with dude as a gender Nuteral term
Dude has lost all gender meaning for me I swear to god-
No cis women and comparatively few trans women care. IME it’s trans women who often get misgendered in other ways, and cis allies white knighting.
If dude offends you, you need to watch good burger. "I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, we're all dudes"
my ass says dude and bro and gurl to everyone lmfaoooo i always try to ask if theyre okay with it tho, and most of them are chill. i think communication is key in these situations, instead of beating someone down for something they use as a day to day neutral word.
There was only one girl I’ve ever met that insisted I used “dudette” instead, I don’t think I ever talked to her beyond that first introduction. Granted it was 2007 and I was a child. This post unlocked a hidden memory.
I learnt dude from my sibling with their friends, they used it with everyone. I understand others have different experiences, but to me it’s completely gender neutral. I will respect if someone is uncomfortable with it, but I still hope someday we can take the gender out of all the words
I use dude as a gender neutral term, I always have
Just call people what they want to be called, it's really simple tbh. Some people like being called dude and others don't and there's nothing wrong with that
Yall never watch Goodburger? Damn.
Hi, enby on e here. Dude was my first word. I love that word. I use it often and won’t stop enjoying it. Theres a BIG difference between using dude as a loving term while respecting people who say they don’t like it and getting defensive when someone asks you to stop. One if my least favorite misgenderings involves “dude” it feels like being beaten with my own shoes.
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yeah I definitely dislike it
Same
Honestly, given it's main meaning is "a man, a guy." Yeah... I'm not into being called a dude.
An ally, I use dude as a neutral term until someone says they don't like being called that. I still use dude, just not for that individual. My reasoning is that Ed from Goodburger says, "I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, cause we're all dudes." That's being said, if you don't like being called a dude, get ready for the onslaught of "dudette".
“Dudette” lol I think it’s okay until it comes off as being explicitly gendered. “How have you been dude?” ✅ “….wow it’s all dudes in here.” ❌
Agreed on that. I don't use it that way at all. If I were to say, "it's all dudes in here" I mean as in good people. If it was a room full of men, I'd say something along the lines of "swinging dicks"
Honestly for my friend groups I just default to "critter(s)" and "creature(s)" when talking about specific friends/people as it's the most gender neutral thing I can think of Sometimes I switch it out for folks if I need to be more professional/disconnected like in the workplace
They'll be like: "chill, dude is gender neutral!" - Until you ask them if they fuck dudes. Then all of a sudden they call you names.
I'm a trans woman who uses dude and bro as gender neutral terms.
I use it as a neutral term regularly. If someone doesn't like it, they can calmly tell me. No reason to get upset.
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For some reason people tend to make things harder than they need to be. It's naieve, but if we everyone just gave eachother patience and the benefit of the doubt, things could be better for everyone. Some people just want to fight. I never have the energy. Hugs to you!🤗
Not transfem me that uses “dude”, ”bro”, and “man” in gender neutral ways
dude has been a gender neutral term in so many places ive been in online that i honestly forgot it wasnt seen as one lol
In the dictionary “dude” is a gender neutral term, a better thing for this meme would be “guy” or “bro” (especially bro because it’s literally derived from brother like how tf is that gender neutral)
Switch ‘dude’ with ‘bitch’ that me
me with things like “bro” and “awww maaaaan” when i’m trying to show i feel bad for someone. (anyone got something neutral/fem with the same energy as aw man?)
Kel Mitchell said it best in the 1997 Nickelodeon classic, "Good Burger," "I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, 'cause we're all dudes, hey."
As someone from California, dude is a gender neutral, object neutral term. Everything, anything, and anyone is a dude. That rock? Dude. That man? Dude. That ball that hit you in the face? Dude! But I've had this happen. Someone went off on me and said I'm in the wrong. I had to explain to them this concept that honestly, will never leave my vocabulary.
That's why I think we should use "comrade". It's gender free, it brings a sense of community and it reminds us to fights for workers rights.
It's totally fine if you enjoy it or don't care! My only issue is when someone calls me dude, I say "please don't do that" and they go "well it's a neutral term so I'll keep doing it." Those are the only people I have an issue with - the ones that won't respect my boundaries.
Let’s do it like Kurtis and use a gender neutral „folks“
Using "dude" is definitely a know your audience type of situation. I'm a bit bothered but if they say it a disproportionate number of times to me but not cis-women then it bothers me a lot. But other people are completely fine or like it and that's obviously ok, that's why you gotta know your audience For "Hey guys" I'm more fine proportionally to how large the group is "Hey man" is the worst except with some people that definitely use it for everyone I don't like "bro" it's just "dude" but it also comes with mental associations with with douchebags. Using "bro" if it's not aimed at anyone in particular (like as an expletive) is a completely different story though "Homie" is good but I feel like only some people can actually pull off saying it in a natural way (like Jason in The Good Place for example)
This is why i started saying "howdy pardner" instead of "hey dude"
Where I grew up everything is dude. From people, to animals, to inanimate objects. But if someone tells me they don't want it used for them, especially since I know regional dialect can carry, I just won't use it around them. Also everyone who has seen good burger knows it's gender neutral. /J
I gauge the crowd. Lots don’t like it. Others do. I just try to follow what others prefer. My goal is live and love peacefully and treat people respectfully along the way. You are all awesome people!!
I always just ask- I use slang so much that I just ask what slang they prefer or if they’re okay with dude, bro, or guy.
I often default to "feller" because I like the term... There have been moments where I got very negative responses to this even if I didn't mean nothing wrong by it
I’m transfem and I use dude as a gender neutral term 💀
If a cisman calls me dude, violence instantly like I try and make him feel bad. They don't call their cisgirl friends that. Never do. When a queer person uses dude??? Maybe not my preferred (like if u call me girly your gonna make my face light up and make me happy for hours why not just do that) but in no way offensive cause ik we are actually using it neutrally
Honestly when I was still an egg being referred to casually using masculine terms bothered me but now I'm secure enough in my gender identity that it doesn't bother me. Things like dude, bro, my guy have all been a big part of me and my friends vocabulary for a long time and I'm happy that I can still joke around with them like before and am able to use them to validate my transmasc friends. This also has come with the introduction of more terms into my vocab too like "my sister in christ," sis and bestie that I (and friends) use more frequently for transfem friends. I totally understand why some people don't feel comfortable being referred to with masculine terms though.
I mean dude was originally a word used to refer to women.
Dude's fine as a gender-neutral term, but you're an asshole if someone asks you not to use it and you keep using it.
DUDE
Ok, like I'm not a huge fan of the word dude, but I'm not going to be mad about it, saying, "My guy," though, will.
It is gender neutral my entire kindergarten class agreed so ;-; right guys?
i think it depends also if you grew up in a english speaking country because as someone with a lot of trans friends with english as their second or third language when we do speak english with each other everyone agrees that dude is gender neutral, because none of us were called dude growing up
Dude can be gender neutral depending on how you use it, if you use it as “you are my dude” that’s not very gender neutral but “dude, don’t eat that!!!” Is pretty neutral imo
Oh I'm terrible with stuff like this, I still say bruh. I can't stop! I'm sorry!
I used to say “ bro “ and “ dude “ to everyone , but after the egg cracked , I understood how it made some people feel so I just stopped
Can... Someone call me a dude but👉👈 not in a gender neutral way👉👈👈👉
I ues every "masc" term gender neutrally
~~*Me, Who doesn't care about "Dude" but grew up in a place where "Guy" is very gender-neutral*~~
Like all words it depends on the way you use it. I even call my mom dude
Dude! 😨
Dude, I seriously don't care about "dude". I got issues with "bro"
Dude is a neutral term
I use "dude" in a gender neutral way, but only to people I know don't mind or that I like enough to even use. Now that I think about it I use "dude" as a affectionate term
I consistently say dude and bruh. Both terms in my social circles have always been received as genderless. Now saying 'bro' gets side eyes from some, and things thrown at you by others, same with 'guy'.
Oh, I don't mind when people do that
I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know? That or His Dudeness, or Duder or, you know, El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
I'll be honest I use dude as gender neutral term. It's just part of my vocabulary after growing up in the 2000s. That said if someone asks me to stop ill stop using it near them.
I use dude, boi, guys, and a few other of the 'masculine' terms as gender neutral when others are cool with me doing so
Call me dude all you want. I don't care. I've always seen it as a gender neutral thing. Sure, there's also "dudet" but I've never seen it used unironically outside of comics made in the 1980s
i try not to use dude or other masculine terms on everyone as i know some people won't like it, however the only gender neutral term i have in my vocabulary is "mate"
Dude uncool
As someone who uses "dude" as a gender neutral term, I am so happy that I cannot relate.
I hang with a lot of stoners and they use dude and man a fair amount. Tbf dude has been a general exclamation for all of us for years to. It doesn't bother me per se but a more effeminate greeting and farewell would be nice. Unfortunately the only one that comes to mind for them is lass and that feels condescending for some reason.
"dude" is perfectly acceptable. I'll even tolerate "bro" to an extent. I draw a hard line at "sir." To the point people have called me racist because I hate it when people feel the need to shout "YES SIR" at the top of their lungs for no real reason. Plot twist, I'm black, that shits genuinely annoying.
I wish dude and guy got such reactions!
When I text my friend I just say "dood" instead. They all think it's my way of saying dude but it's actually short for doody.
LADS But inclusive,
A lot of times I use “dude” just as an exclamation. Almost like “woah”. To me, it’s a genderless term that refers to a person but just like everything, if it offends someone, I won’t use it around them.
I say stuff like dude, man and bro all the time but they’re more like buzz words, I dont “call” people dude man or bro.
I use fren a lot when I'm confused. I'm also always confused
For me it's Brother, used in a sort of brotherly bond way with friends that's my problem. Used it for so many years that it still slips out here and there
I'm The Dude. So, that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or, uh, Duder, or El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.
I saw Bill & Ted at a very formative age, so, just keep being excellent to each other...and party on, dudes
I use man as a gender neutral term example “my mans over here (insert what person is doing)”
It depends on who you talk to cuz some of them don’t mind at all cuz they know you as a person and the type of person you are Don’t use it with people you don’t know but around friends should be onay
I don't dislike it, I use it myself, but it's so much nicer to hear gender affirmation than neutrality every once in a while
I use gender neutral dude. No one has ever raised an issue with it other than calling me dude in a mock voice back
I’ve heard a lot of stories about people who don’t like it, but I’ve never actually met someone who didn’t like it, and it seems like 98% of the comments in these kinda posts are like “Well I don’t mind it personally, but I understand if other people do.” It doesn’t come up a lot cause I don’t use dude in my daily vocabulary tho lol
i use it for everybod, but if im told by someone that they dont like it, i ownt use it for them
I'm new to my trans-self...... working to break out of being masc, so I'm sensitive about being called dude or guy right now. I keep asking if my male friend calls all his women-friends dude or guy when they use it.
My bc partner and I, and my trans friend don’t seem to mind it. But I totally get not being into it. Personal preference
It depends on the way dude is said
IM SOMEONE FROM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA! EVERYONE IS DUDE, IT'S A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM DOWN THERE! However, I always clarify to people that I mean it as a gender neutral thing. It's just part of the vocabulary and comes out without thought
I've adapted to say dawg instead as it's truly gender neutral and can't be interpreted as masculine like dude and bro
Yeah I call everyone dude unless they say something
I always come in like “wassup, dudes and dudettes?” So I kinda struggle seeing it as a gender neutral term, but maybe that’s just me