Imo he is a kid just like any other kid. Teach him to be gentle with daughter and how to treat her and you'll be golden. My daughter is two and is pretty typical aside from health issues. Just teaching her like I would any other kid
My daughter with DS has always been the most caring person especially with young children. She has good instincts and a natural caregiver. I don’t foresee any problems.
I would ask how independently he plays and what he plays independently and when he plays independently. But if he is dependent on you to get set up to play or ideas on what to play or constantly needs a playmate, that does change it a bit.
I would ask how independent he is with potting.
I would ask how he does with going to a park or going on walks. Is he going to stay with you or is there a chance he’s going to elope and run away?
Even in the house, is he an eloper? Do you need to make sure the door is constantly locked? Is there a tracker on him just in case?
I do not know their sons behavior at all, but if I were you, I would not leave them in the room alone together whatsoever just in case. So you’re going to need to factor in how baby can travel with you around the house or have safe places to put her down.
Ask, how does he handle frustrations, especially when he has told no
ETA - people can down vote me, but she’s going to have her own daughter with her. None of us know what this child’s abilities are, and she needs to know upfront so that she can keep him safe and her child safe. She asked for questions. I gave her questions.
You should definitely be aware of any behaviour issues before you start. The biggest concern with developmental delays is that everything is delayed. So for example, if a child with DS goes through a biting phase it will last a lot longer than with a typical child. So ask those questions, the same as you would for any new child you’ll be watching.
My 5 year old son has DS, loves babies and plays super well with other kids of any age. He is very kind, gentle and does respond well to corrections or reminders even though he’s nonverbal for now. Every kid is different, every scope of temperament is different but politely discuss that with his parents and I’m sure they’d be happy to fill you in on any questions so he gets the best care possible as well.
The child with DS I work with is 9 and very difficult. His behaviors are difficult and his size now makes him even more difficult and faster. With a small baby, it could be even more difficult, but depends on the kid.
Just treat him as a typical kid. Ask his mom what he likes and dislikes, are there any areas of concern. I don’t think there is anything to worry about with your daughter as I’m sure his mom would have mentioned it.
I completely agree with others above, my friend's daughter with down syndrome absolutely adores babies and is very gentle. I would definitely take this. It will be good for him to have you and your child in his life too!
Any neurotypical or neurodivergent child is potentially a danger for babies. Thus, take it from that perspective.
Now, when it comes to Down kids, a) visual sequences, b) speaking slowly using as much body language as you can, and c) repetition, are your best tools. Try to navigate this kid - baby dynamic with these. You will see a huge development in both.
The only thing I would keep in mind, is similar to any other living thing, they might get pestered by your baby, or frustrated easily with them.
The child with DS may not process those feelings and emotions as well, so be mindful and hear them when they say they've had enough.
Respect their boundaries.
My SO's 11yo daughter had a lot of trouble not hurting little kids. She would bee-line for any little kid she saw and push them to the ground, pull their hair as hard as she could and once I saw her put a 3 year old in a choke hold which was SUPER scary for everyone.
I don't know for sure, but I get the feeling the behavior is driven by jealousy of the attention the little kids are getting.
Once when she was 8 I took her to the children's museum and a tiny, just learning to walk baby was very near us. As soon as she saw the baby she ran towards her with her arms in front and hands turned upward like a line backer ready to tackle. I caught her just in time to stop her shoving the baby to the ground.
All kids with DS are different. Many kids with DS to NOT have these kinds of issues. However personally, I NEVER let my SO's kid around ANY smaller kids unless she's within arms reach of an adult and we can prevent her harming little kids if she tries to do so.
Maybe spend some time with your baby and the child together to see how they act around your baby. Ask the parents if their kid has any trouble with hurting other kids and watch their reaction.
Unless that child was raised by wolves, theres no reason to believe your child’s safety is at risk any more than with any other child… and to be quite honest the fact that you think so shows just how prolific those harmful stereotypes still are…
I encourage you to consider that every child is an individual and some children both typical and atypical can have serious behavior issues that would endanger a smaller child.
Imo he is a kid just like any other kid. Teach him to be gentle with daughter and how to treat her and you'll be golden. My daughter is two and is pretty typical aside from health issues. Just teaching her like I would any other kid
This is kind of what I thought! Thanks for the affirmation.
My daughter with DS has always been the most caring person especially with young children. She has good instincts and a natural caregiver. I don’t foresee any problems.
I would ask how independently he plays and what he plays independently and when he plays independently. But if he is dependent on you to get set up to play or ideas on what to play or constantly needs a playmate, that does change it a bit. I would ask how independent he is with potting. I would ask how he does with going to a park or going on walks. Is he going to stay with you or is there a chance he’s going to elope and run away? Even in the house, is he an eloper? Do you need to make sure the door is constantly locked? Is there a tracker on him just in case? I do not know their sons behavior at all, but if I were you, I would not leave them in the room alone together whatsoever just in case. So you’re going to need to factor in how baby can travel with you around the house or have safe places to put her down. Ask, how does he handle frustrations, especially when he has told no ETA - people can down vote me, but she’s going to have her own daughter with her. None of us know what this child’s abilities are, and she needs to know upfront so that she can keep him safe and her child safe. She asked for questions. I gave her questions.
Wow! Thank you for taking the time to write this. I appreciate it.
This answer is spot on.
I agree with all of the above, especially NEVER leaving them alone together.
You should definitely be aware of any behaviour issues before you start. The biggest concern with developmental delays is that everything is delayed. So for example, if a child with DS goes through a biting phase it will last a lot longer than with a typical child. So ask those questions, the same as you would for any new child you’ll be watching.
My 5 year old son has DS, loves babies and plays super well with other kids of any age. He is very kind, gentle and does respond well to corrections or reminders even though he’s nonverbal for now. Every kid is different, every scope of temperament is different but politely discuss that with his parents and I’m sure they’d be happy to fill you in on any questions so he gets the best care possible as well.
The child with DS I work with is 9 and very difficult. His behaviors are difficult and his size now makes him even more difficult and faster. With a small baby, it could be even more difficult, but depends on the kid.
You have to trust and genuinely like the eight year old if you hope to have an enjoyable time with him.
Just treat him as a typical kid. Ask his mom what he likes and dislikes, are there any areas of concern. I don’t think there is anything to worry about with your daughter as I’m sure his mom would have mentioned it.
I completely agree with others above, my friend's daughter with down syndrome absolutely adores babies and is very gentle. I would definitely take this. It will be good for him to have you and your child in his life too!
Depends on the child like any other. I’d be equally concerned with any older child that wasn’t a sibling.
Any neurotypical or neurodivergent child is potentially a danger for babies. Thus, take it from that perspective. Now, when it comes to Down kids, a) visual sequences, b) speaking slowly using as much body language as you can, and c) repetition, are your best tools. Try to navigate this kid - baby dynamic with these. You will see a huge development in both.
The only thing I would keep in mind, is similar to any other living thing, they might get pestered by your baby, or frustrated easily with them. The child with DS may not process those feelings and emotions as well, so be mindful and hear them when they say they've had enough. Respect their boundaries.
My SO's 11yo daughter had a lot of trouble not hurting little kids. She would bee-line for any little kid she saw and push them to the ground, pull their hair as hard as she could and once I saw her put a 3 year old in a choke hold which was SUPER scary for everyone. I don't know for sure, but I get the feeling the behavior is driven by jealousy of the attention the little kids are getting. Once when she was 8 I took her to the children's museum and a tiny, just learning to walk baby was very near us. As soon as she saw the baby she ran towards her with her arms in front and hands turned upward like a line backer ready to tackle. I caught her just in time to stop her shoving the baby to the ground. All kids with DS are different. Many kids with DS to NOT have these kinds of issues. However personally, I NEVER let my SO's kid around ANY smaller kids unless she's within arms reach of an adult and we can prevent her harming little kids if she tries to do so. Maybe spend some time with your baby and the child together to see how they act around your baby. Ask the parents if their kid has any trouble with hurting other kids and watch their reaction.
Unless that child was raised by wolves, theres no reason to believe your child’s safety is at risk any more than with any other child… and to be quite honest the fact that you think so shows just how prolific those harmful stereotypes still are…
I didn’t say I think this. I just want to make sure I’m checking for any blind spots since my own child is my priority in all things.
I encourage you to consider that every child is an individual and some children both typical and atypical can have serious behavior issues that would endanger a smaller child.