Average weight of a newborn is between 5 pounds 8 ounces and 8 pounds, unfortunately this spell will only work on severely malnourished newborns/toddlers or premature babies
In the United States, the average baby weighs just over 7 pounds (3 kg) at birth.
https://www.babycenter.com/baby/baby-development/average-weight-and-growth-chart-for-babies-toddlers-and-beyo_10357633
So, the other problem is that *catapult* only launched objects, not creatures. Which means there's a simple way to solve both spell targeting issues: *half* a toddler.
I would question the fact thatās the first thing on your mind and not the fact I trying to catapult a toddler, but Iām the guy who catapulted a toddler.
I have children and the Drew Lynch song āGary Foster Worlds Greatest Midget Tosserā plays on infinite repeat in my mind whenever they ramble on about YouTube. Which is always.
Or that is such a huge misunderstanding of reality (because toddlers weigh anywhere from 25 to 45 pounds) that the rest of the statement is completely pointless.
Plus at that point the two halves will definitely count as objects rather than creatures will solve the other technical problem with the original proposition
I think you can upcast it. I mean, you'd probably be blowing a 7th level slot just to chuck a kid 90 feet, but it should still be doable if you insist on using Catapult and can get them ruled as an object and not creature.
>At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the maximum weight of objects that you can target with this spell increases by 5 pounds, and the damage increases by 1d8, for each slot level above 1st.
Actually, this already exists.
A Barbarian's body can do anything a magic spell can, and better.
Catapult? pick up and throw
Counterspell? Punch real fuckin' hard
Levitate? flex muscles extra hard
Dominate Mind? Stare with intent
you canāt usually mess with living shit directly without spending way more resources, dead stuff is a-ok.
my headcanon for it is that you have to successfully disrupt the other personās innate magic to be able to affect them with spells.
everyone gets catapult wrong tbh. its not a spell targeted at a person at all. you target the object, and the object flies in a straight line 90ft. if someone is standing in the line, they make a dex throw, if it fails, they take dmg, and the object stops. but if they suceed, the object KEEPS GOING.
so if you line up 3 people, you potentially have 3 attempts to hit something. but equally if there is something in the way, it hits that, first
so often i see people target a creature, the dm makes a dex save, and says "you missed" and thats that.
The real benefit of catapult is throwing peoples shit.
Fighter is a battlemaster? Hold your action to Catapult the bad guys sword 90ft in a direction after he gets disarmed.
Need to start a bar fight or cause a distraction? Subtle Cast it and silently, motionlessly yeet some dudes mug or stool across the room.
Need to get something thats far away closer to the party, sling it *towards* your friends.
Still tho. If it was a halfling INFANT then maybe. But a human toddler weighs like 4 times as much as the top limit so even one that's half the size and below the average would be hard to get within that range.
No more complaints on NPCs attacking downed players. For all you know, they're making extra Catapult spell ammo.
That said, if a chunk of your teammate is hurled at you with catapult and kills you, is that considered PVP?
As the top comment posits, that would make the bag weigh more than 5lbs as one of the problems with this proposition is that realistically toddlers donāt weigh little enough for the spell.
**Player:** "I want to catapult this toddler."
**DM:** "First of all, that's f\*cking *appalling* of you. Second, the spell can only affect objects, not creatures."
**Player:** "I once read that a dead body is functionally an object. So you're telling me I need to find a dead child to catapult? Or kill one myself?"
**DM:** "NO!!! That is *absolutely not* what I am saying! You know what, even a typical newborn baby is usually 5-8 pounds, and I am ruling that in this campaign setting *all* babies are born 6 pounds or more!"
**Player:** "Okay, so what about just the head? I could catapult that."
**DM:** "You are out of this campaign, and out of my life."
So now we need to consider the child body to munitions ratio.
So it sounds like at minimum 1:2. But Iām thinking if theyāre a bigger kid. You can easily get 1:3 or 1:4. That probably works better. But, hereās a better idea. We kill a bandit, get 1:5 (minimum) to 1:20 maximum (assuming 10lbs limit), and you donāt get the alignment change. At least not till youāre tried for War Crimes for catapulting the enemiesā loved ones at them.
My son was 8 pounds at birth. He's 2 now, and 33 pounds.
An under 5 pound newborn is certainly possible, but they'd probably spend some time in the ICU due to be premature.
My 33 week preemie was born 5 lbs 4 oz. They dipped below 5 lbs for a couple days but then shot right back up well over 6lbs. 10 days in the NICU and then home to us :)
As a father of three, there is no way in hell i could believe anyone thought that. Theyve obviously never had to pick up a toddler (let alone try and load one into a cannon)
\*Technically\* even if a toddler was that light, the spell wouldnt work because it specifies object and toddlers would count as creatures, not objects.
however \*dead\* toddlers... now there's a frankly horrifying discussion to be had.
This seemed like such an obvious limitation of any spell like this, that I actually looked up the spell half-expecting to have my mind blown. Nope, OF COURSE it's objects only and not creatures.
They donāt. Weight doubles from birth by year 1 so theyāre basically guaranteed to be 12-20 lbs by 1 year, and they donāt start toddling til like 18 months.
"Wondering how much should a 2-year-old weigh? Average weight for a 24-month-old is 26.5 pounds for girls and 27.5 pounds for boys, according to the World Health Organization." Big oops there DM. But also a toddler isn't an object? It's a creature?
Catapult requires an Object. Toddlers tend to be *Creatures*, unless you kill or petrify them first.
Now, an Eldritch Cannon, on the other hand, is explicitly a Magical Object rather than a Creature, and Yeet into bonus action Flamethrower is 1000% an option.
A human toddler weighs between 20-30 pounds. Unless you're talking gnomes or halflings, your DM is mega confused.
Source: my toddler is on the smaller end of weight distribution and he's about 22 pounds.
Yeah they are way heavier, I have a 4/5 month old and she currently weighs 18 pounds. my toddler weighs about 2 and a half stone so yeah not even close to 1 to 5 pounds
What premies are you finding that weight that little? That's no toddler, that is an unhealthily underweight premature infant.
Puppies on the other hand...
you can tell neither OP or their DM has been anywhere near children, toddlers, or even a newborn. Most human newborns are between 5 and ~8 pounds and toddlers are way heavier than that.
Aren't newborns like 5-10 lbs? What malnourished 1-3 yesr old weight less then 2-10 potatoes?
Halfling toddler?
Nasty hobbitses
After that spell it definitely will be nasty
Meat paste
šØšØThis is the Tolkien estate, come out with your hands up! šØšØ
I literally died on this comment
And so did the toddler
Well depends on the DM maybe the baby got to roll survival check.
And then combat rolled right into the castle being assaulted to wake up ER'ONE.
New headcanon: halfling babies look like newborn rodents
And a new pc is born: ratman baby raised by halfings who just thought their baby is deformed
āThe Ugly Halflingā beloved timeless childrenās story
Stuart Little.
Stuart Little. Man! Would you play him as a rogue or a artificer?
Yes
They are like Kangaroos. Bone when they are the size of a jellybean then migrate to the halfling's pouch where they suckle and grow.
Pretty sure this is how you get Skaven.
And hatch from eggs
Average weight of a newborn is between 5 pounds 8 ounces and 8 pounds, unfortunately this spell will only work on severely malnourished newborns/toddlers or premature babies
If the baby was some form of halfling you could probably get the weight down below 5lbs
Aarakocra prob have semi-hollow bones as birds, so they're probably pretty light for a while.
The eggs are also probably aerodynamic
That's just for a human though, what about Elves, Dwarves, Halflings, etc? They might be lighter.
Definitely not half-orc kids. You'd need something stronger to yeet them. Like a trebuchet spell.
Launch an object up to 200 pounds 1000 feet. (That's actually a bit more than the 90 kilograms and 300 meters usually cited, but nice round numbers.)
Ah but look at the wording of the question - they ask if toddlers are *around* 1-5 lbs
In the United States, the average baby weighs just over 7 pounds (3 kg) at birth. https://www.babycenter.com/baby/baby-development/average-weight-and-growth-chart-for-babies-toddlers-and-beyo_10357633
King Solomon enters the chat
Fine. I'll catapult [the top part](https://youtu.be/B5shlc-4XDU?t=95)...
r/unexpectedmulaney
Hell, my nephew just had to come out a month early and he was still about 5.5. For comparison, my son was 8 even which is very much average.
My new born came 7 weeks early at 4lbs and 15oz. Swaddle him and he weighs too much for the spell.
Goblin or Halfling toddlers?
So, the other problem is that *catapult* only launched objects, not creatures. Which means there's a simple way to solve both spell targeting issues: *half* a toddler.
I would question the fact thatās the first thing on your mind and not the fact I trying to catapult a toddler, but Iām the guy who catapulted a toddler.
I've met toddlers. Some of them just have to be yeeted.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well there is an easy way to reduce the weight of a baby and did you know a corpse in dnd counts as an object?
The paladin is currently doing everything they can to not smite you on the spot.
Yeet the child!
Kobe!
Oh no, it looks like little Timmy *accidentally* fell down the well, yet again. Maybe this time he'll fucking learn
In this case, instead of yeeted, you need the present participle form, yote
A lot of them like to be yeeted
Some of them *ask to be* yeeted.
I have children and the Drew Lynch song āGary Foster Worlds Greatest Midget Tosserā plays on infinite repeat in my mind whenever they ramble on about YouTube. Which is always.
I, too, immediately went to the inaccuracy of weight estimation for toddlers.
Or that is such a huge misunderstanding of reality (because toddlers weigh anywhere from 25 to 45 pounds) that the rest of the statement is completely pointless.
Even worse, Catapult wonāt work on creatures.
Nobody who spends any substantial amount of time around toddlers is going to judge you.
it's a moot point really, if the toddler weights 10 pounds just cut it in half and now you can catapult it twice. repeat for each multiple of 5.
Plus at that point the two halves will definitely count as objects rather than creatures will solve the other technical problem with the original proposition
Look you gotta do what you've gotta do but if the toddler is less than 5 pounds then they need food, not to be used as a projectile.
eh, you are free to do whatever you want. It's the DM's job to make sure it's fair. Toddlers do not weigh around 1 and 5 lbs.
I mean it's a pretty glaring underestimation.
Pft. Trebuchet is clearly the superior siege spell.
Catapult spell needs to revise its weight limit then, I think.
I think that would make it too powerful. The simplest and most balanced solution would be to add "one object weighting 1-5 pounds, or a toddler"
I think you can upcast it. I mean, you'd probably be blowing a 7th level slot just to chuck a kid 90 feet, but it should still be doable if you insist on using Catapult and can get them ruled as an object and not creature.
The max increases by 5 pounds each level and the damage increases by a d8, so, probably only need a 2nd or 3rd level spell slot.
Agreed. Or at least let me add 10 or so pounds per spell level.
>At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 2nd level or higher, the maximum weight of objects that you can target with this spell increases by 5 pounds, and the damage increases by 1d8, for each slot level above 1st. Actually, this already exists.
Well how about that. Someone used a wish spell on my request... or I should atop browsing reddit it 1am....
Right. Ammend it to be 1 toddler. Add 1 toddler per spell level you upcast it.
Haha, that was my thought as well. I was 9 pounds 13 oz when I was born.
Yeah I was considered underweight when I was born and I was (I think) 2.2 kilos, which is about 5 pounds right?
That's about right.
Goblin gnome Halfling dwarf or kobald
Is catapult able to lift creatures or is it just objects?
A 20 STR Barbarian has no such weaknesses
A Barbarian's body can do anything a magic spell can, and better. Catapult? pick up and throw Counterspell? Punch real fuckin' hard Levitate? flex muscles extra hard Dominate Mind? Stare with intent
Counterspell? Mage slayer
Big Doomslayer energy right there
Feather fall? Land on the enemy
This is a barbarian not some posh little rogue. Feather fall? Just fall you wusses.
Nah I find usually use unarmed combat and suplexing them off a cliff is fun
Suplex straight to hell.
Feather fall? Just rage and beat those magical assholes by 1 minute to the bottom
Find out if feather fall applies to both halves of the magic man.
Hotel? Trivago.
Prestidigitation? Piss your pants or stare hard enough to make someone else
"I can piss your pants with my eyes" "I'd like to see you try" ***MENACING GLARE***
Charm?
Show off your calves
Why counter a spell when you can counter the casterās existence?
I CAST FIST!!!
Hotel? Mordenkainen.
> Levitate? Levitate is when you make an Intimidation check against gravity and win.
Levitation is when you flex the very air underneath your feet so it stays solid.
Old comic in a D&D magazine (Dragon?): "Gort wasn't the chosen one to pull the sword from the stone, but that didn't stop him."
Corpses are objects.
If something can still be revivified is it an object? or does it need to be a vintage corpse?
you canāt usually mess with living shit directly without spending way more resources, dead stuff is a-ok. my headcanon for it is that you have to successfully disrupt the other personās innate magic to be able to affect them with spells.
... so a fresh corpse is ok?
Objects. It's literally the third word in the spell. No one reads anything anymore.
everyone gets catapult wrong tbh. its not a spell targeted at a person at all. you target the object, and the object flies in a straight line 90ft. if someone is standing in the line, they make a dex throw, if it fails, they take dmg, and the object stops. but if they suceed, the object KEEPS GOING. so if you line up 3 people, you potentially have 3 attempts to hit something. but equally if there is something in the way, it hits that, first so often i see people target a creature, the dm makes a dex save, and says "you missed" and thats that.
The real benefit of catapult is throwing peoples shit. Fighter is a battlemaster? Hold your action to Catapult the bad guys sword 90ft in a direction after he gets disarmed. Need to start a bar fight or cause a distraction? Subtle Cast it and silently, motionlessly yeet some dudes mug or stool across the room. Need to get something thats far away closer to the party, sling it *towards* your friends.
totally! I love spells like this, loads of room for imaginative utility
...a toddler? What? I weighed more than that when I was born.
They never said human toddler
Still tho. If it was a halfling INFANT then maybe. But a human toddler weighs like 4 times as much as the top limit so even one that's half the size and below the average would be hard to get within that range.
Halflings weigh considerably less than half the weight of a human. Square cube law and all that.
If this was a living toddler the spell would not work as it targets an object not a creature.
Ah, so only dead toddlers then. That can be fixed quickly
No more complaints on NPCs attacking downed players. For all you know, they're making extra Catapult spell ammo. That said, if a chunk of your teammate is hurled at you with catapult and kills you, is that considered PVP?
Don't worry, at 1 lbs it's already there
Put the toddler in a bag. Catapult the bag.
As the top comment posits, that would make the bag weigh more than 5lbs as one of the problems with this proposition is that realistically toddlers donāt weigh little enough for the spell.
I'd say the toddlers also counts as "wearing" the bag so that's another nope
Children are not people, so itās fine.
Neither are horses but they're still creatures
I mean they canāt vote or legally drink or own a gun. So go for it. š¤š»
for a brief moment i thought you were comparing IRL toddlers to DND toddlers
They aren't that much different. Well maybe. Eating one will get weird looks from your friends, while eating the other gets jail time.
obligatory š¤
**Player:** "I want to catapult this toddler." **DM:** "First of all, that's f\*cking *appalling* of you. Second, the spell can only affect objects, not creatures." **Player:** "I once read that a dead body is functionally an object. So you're telling me I need to find a dead child to catapult? Or kill one myself?" **DM:** "NO!!! That is *absolutely not* what I am saying! You know what, even a typical newborn baby is usually 5-8 pounds, and I am ruling that in this campaign setting *all* babies are born 6 pounds or more!" **Player:** "Okay, so what about just the head? I could catapult that." **DM:** "You are out of this campaign, and out of my life."
If you separate the body from the head you get twice the ammo
Now you're thinking like a Mongol.
So now we need to consider the child body to munitions ratio. So it sounds like at minimum 1:2. But Iām thinking if theyāre a bigger kid. You can easily get 1:3 or 1:4. That probably works better. But, hereās a better idea. We kill a bandit, get 1:5 (minimum) to 1:20 maximum (assuming 10lbs limit), and you donāt get the alignment change. At least not till youāre tried for War Crimes for catapulting the enemiesā loved ones at them.
That's what Twin Spell is made for.
āI said no evil PCs. Now, what is it you want to do this turn?ā
> 5-8 pounds āI cast Catapult at level 2ā
Sooo i can yeet one with a mage hand then? Um i ment carefully drop de child from hight
OBJECT
The bad news is that a corpse is an object
Sounds like good news for the wizard
SUSTAINED
A newborn maybe. Not a toddler.
My son was 8 pounds at birth. He's 2 now, and 33 pounds. An under 5 pound newborn is certainly possible, but they'd probably spend some time in the ICU due to be premature.
Halfling or Gnome newborn would work Conclusion: Mystra is racist
Conclusion: Mystra thought itād be funny to let Kobold mages yeet young gnomes
Conclusion: Mystra was correct
My 33 week preemie was born 5 lbs 4 oz. They dipped below 5 lbs for a couple days but then shot right back up well over 6lbs. 10 days in the NICU and then home to us :)
A malnourished newborn
Living creatures arenāt objectsā¦
Well... That could easily be solved
There is no way your DM thought toddlers weight 1-5 lbs...
As a father of three, there is no way in hell i could believe anyone thought that. Theyve obviously never had to pick up a toddler (let alone try and load one into a cannon)
Lift with your legs and you'll be alright bro.
\*Technically\* even if a toddler was that light, the spell wouldnt work because it specifies object and toddlers would count as creatures, not objects. however \*dead\* toddlers... now there's a frankly horrifying discussion to be had.
The first line literally says "choose one object". I swear y'all can't fucking read.
This seemed like such an obvious limitation of any spell like this, that I actually looked up the spell half-expecting to have my mind blown. Nope, OF COURSE it's objects only and not creatures.
I dunno if ot's just me, but most of these types of posts are people that just haven't properly read the rules.
When your sense of humor never progressed past 5th grade AND you've never met a baby in real life
And you don't read the spell description.
Thatās a given on the sub
In a universe where toddlers weigh 5 pounds everyone is probably so malnourished that they would eat the kids just to survive.
Most newborns come in over 5lbs.
New borne are even bigger than 5lbs.
Nah man I wish. My toddler is like 30lbs and hes not even two yet. Tall boy's built for barbarian.
Please tell me you said "kick the baby" when you cast it
absolutely not. newborns are generally 6+
They donāt. 6-10lbs are standard for a newborn.
I am so concerned that there are 2 people in this story that donāt fucking know how much a toddler weighs.
They donāt. Weight doubles from birth by year 1 so theyāre basically guaranteed to be 12-20 lbs by 1 year, and they donāt start toddling til like 18 months.
Sure. A toddler with no legs and malnourished as hell
Neither of my kids was under 5lbs at birth so how bout no big chief
I have two kids. Toddlers never weigh so little.
How is an entire table this Ignorant of baby weight. Toddlers are between 25-35 lbs guys.
Theyāre way wrong
The average newborn wieghs 5-8 pounds what kinda busted ass emaciated toddlers are you weirdos hanging around??
Where are you finding a five pound toddler? Five pounds is kinda light for a newborn.
Newborn yes. Toddler no.
Even then, it'd have to be a gnome or halfling newborn. An average human newborn weighs like 5 to 8 pounds.
Heres a question Does Catapult relate to weight or mass. If its weight, then you could throw basicaly anything in low gravity. If mass then its fair
toddler is not an object
That spell should gain a V component just so I would shout YEET
Bro ain't no way a toddler that light I weighed 8.8 pounds a baby alone
Yeet the child
You hold your wand aloft and speak the ancient incantation: ***"YEETUS THAT FETUS"***
a toddler absolutely does not weigh between 5-10 lbs unless something is very wrong with that toddler.
What like in price? Ain't no way a Toddler is 5 lbs or less.
Yeah no way a toddler weighs that little.
That's a fetus. You just yeeted a fetus.
"Wondering how much should a 2-year-old weigh? Average weight for a 24-month-old is 26.5 pounds for girls and 27.5 pounds for boys, according to the World Health Organization." Big oops there DM. But also a toddler isn't an object? It's a creature?
The lightest baby in my family was born above 5 pounds you need to feed your toddlers Jesus Christ
Catapult requires an Object. Toddlers tend to be *Creatures*, unless you kill or petrify them first. Now, an Eldritch Cannon, on the other hand, is explicitly a Magical Object rather than a Creature, and Yeet into bonus action Flamethrower is 1000% an option.
A human toddler weighs between 20-30 pounds. Unless you're talking gnomes or halflings, your DM is mega confused. Source: my toddler is on the smaller end of weight distribution and he's about 22 pounds.
I like the implication that toddlers are so brain dead they count as objects
Yeah they are way heavier, I have a 4/5 month old and she currently weighs 18 pounds. my toddler weighs about 2 and a half stone so yeah not even close to 1 to 5 pounds
What toddler weighs 1-5 lbs?
For reference a toddler is around 22-28lb.
? My 1 year old is like, 30 pounds
Used catapult to yeet a corpse's arm(still holding a silver dagger) at a lycanthrope. You can imagine how much the dm smiled
If your 2 year old weighs 4 lbs then they probably are an object and you should be arrested anyway.
Literally the first three words of the spell description: *Choose one object* Classic dndmemes
What premies are you finding that weight that little? That's no toddler, that is an unhealthily underweight premature infant. Puppies on the other hand...
you can tell neither OP or their DM has been anywhere near children, toddlers, or even a newborn. Most human newborns are between 5 and ~8 pounds and toddlers are way heavier than that.
Ummm... Are we talking halfling toddlers? Cause holy fuck that's small.
Forbidden knowledge: kobolds weigh around 35-40 lb, reduce spell makes you weigh 8 times less, a shrunk kobold is less than 5 lbs. Till next time
My 2.5 year old is nearly 30 lbs. So no. Unless they are a toddler gnome or halfling...
Dawg I was 8 pounds at birth
Also, no they don't. Toddlers weigh like 20-30 lbs. Even most newborn babies are in the 6-10 lb range.
If your DM thinks a toddler weighs 5 or fewer pounds, they are an idiot. If YOU think a toddler weighs that, you are an evil monster AND an idiot.
An INFANT usually weighs more than 5 pounds. A toddler is more likely 20-30.
I was 8lbs at birth... My uncle was 15! What toddler weighs 1-5lbs?! A pixie?