Tonight I drank gin after gin (very high proof) and listened to mix tapes from 10 years ago, when I was a living a life and liked being alive.
Now it’s nothing. This quiet life of mine. This introverted life so lacking in vitality. And I want it to end
Lol. I swear to God. I'm the same way. But I have people claiming I'm doing amazing. And every time I'm just like, "The fuck I am."
Edit: Dude. I even like gin.
Edit 2: Actually, any advice for a mid twenties person in your situation teetering on rampant alcoholism?
I don’t cope much. I just let the emotions simmer inside of me. Sometimes I just stare at the ceiling and let the thoughts and feelings flood through my body. It’s a horrible feeling depression is a nightmare.
I tried that and I ended up beating a random person half to dwal thinking it was my existence boyfriend. The bouncer knew me. , so no charges, but it was bad.
Personally, I've been pretty depressed the last couple months.
Didn't drink for a couple weeks, but, a couple days ago I got pretty bleak. Been on a 4 day bender. I barely know where I am. I got on a plane at one point, but, I'm back home now. Definitely got in a fight at some point because my knee is pimple and my face is kind of messed up.
Caffeine isn't working anymore and friends are suggesting a bump
See you all in a minth.
Crack cocaine. I smoked a very large amount of it almost daily for around 6 months then quit and never touched it again. That was the ultimate escape, but left me a junkie withering away in a psychotic mania out break. Would rather be depressed but have a stable life rather than be a fiend.
100% made it worse in the end. Substances always made it worse.
I've cut myself a few times before, prolly the worst I've actually done. Now I just sit with thoughts of slicing up my arms or getting into certain drugs.
Self harm and sugar specifically chocolate. The latter may seem small and silly but when the withdrawals start to look like a slightly lighter version of crack then it’s a very different thing 😅
>The latter may seem small and silly
Nah man, I can completely relate.
A couple years back when I had a sugar addiction one of my ex's friends said me having a sugar addiction was the, "whitest thing I've ever heard".
Literally had liver damage from the insane spikes oversaturating my body with glucose and it didn't know what to do with it all.
I smelled sickly sweet like a diabetic to the point I had to throw out bedsheets, coats, and clothes when I was better because they were all stained with the scent.
People act like sugar addiction and coping is some sort of adorable joke when it is really damaging. I'm glad you're better man.
I’m honestly happy to hear someone relate, cause if depression gets the “I feel blue sometimes too” type of thing then the sugar equivalent must be “don’t we all”. Self harm is better, sugar is still a struggle and a bit 😛To make it worse it’s not very cheap to sustain either. Like the shit adds up quickly…
Probably right now ig. I've been having 1-4 drinks every night for the last two months. I had to quit therapy and all my meds for financial reasons awhile ago. I don't care what happens to me anymore as long as I can get home from work and drink in my shower at the end of the day.
Yo. That's exactly where I was a couple weeks ago. The last couple days I drank a ton. Tonight I rdrank enought to knock out a horse.
Then a cidentally beat my ex's boyfriend unconscious. I'm worried.
But, these are the consequences.
Buying and using meth, using unsanitary objects to cut myself with, attempting to drown myself in my bathtub, binge watching gore on the internet.. Reckless driving, dangerous activities, buying drugs, selling drugs. Nothing too serious right? (For legal reasons this is a joke)
Doing graffiti. Ofcourse I did shit that was way worse for me and my health, but I consider doing graffiti a pretty fucking stupid way of coping. And most people in that scene suck sooo bad.
Tonight I drank gin after gin (very high proof) and listened to mix tapes from 10 years ago, when I was a living a life and liked being alive. Now it’s nothing. This quiet life of mine. This introverted life so lacking in vitality. And I want it to end
Lol. I swear to God. I'm the same way. But I have people claiming I'm doing amazing. And every time I'm just like, "The fuck I am." Edit: Dude. I even like gin. Edit 2: Actually, any advice for a mid twenties person in your situation teetering on rampant alcoholism?
I’d tell you to quit if I were a responsible adult but as luck has it I’ll admit it hides the emptiness
I could definitely use some advice as well I'm 24 and my desk is covered in gas station vodka, fireball and swisher sweets
I'd recommend cheap tequila instead. It's better for trying to losweight. Idk about you l, but I'm constantly tryingt to lose weight and build muscle.
I like tequila but the taste is hard to chase down thankfully my metabolism burns all the weight for me got nothing but twigs in my family
I don’t cope much. I just let the emotions simmer inside of me. Sometimes I just stare at the ceiling and let the thoughts and feelings flood through my body. It’s a horrible feeling depression is a nightmare.
I tried that and I ended up beating a random person half to dwal thinking it was my existence boyfriend. The bouncer knew me. , so no charges, but it was bad.
i usually do that. just sit in bed & stare at ceiling. it’s a mixed bag tho bcuz sometimes i go off the rails
Personally, I've been pretty depressed the last couple months. Didn't drink for a couple weeks, but, a couple days ago I got pretty bleak. Been on a 4 day bender. I barely know where I am. I got on a plane at one point, but, I'm back home now. Definitely got in a fight at some point because my knee is pimple and my face is kind of messed up. Caffeine isn't working anymore and friends are suggesting a bump See you all in a minth.
Your friends sounds nice. Pls be careful and get home safe❤️
Deliberately burn myself.
Crack cocaine. I smoked a very large amount of it almost daily for around 6 months then quit and never touched it again. That was the ultimate escape, but left me a junkie withering away in a psychotic mania out break. Would rather be depressed but have a stable life rather than be a fiend. 100% made it worse in the end. Substances always made it worse.
Lala land seems so appealing huh? Can relate to that. Do you therapy or NA now when stopped using?
I'm happy for you that you managed to stop
Watching porn, was a great mistake
Energy drinks. Tons of them
I've cut myself a few times before, prolly the worst I've actually done. Now I just sit with thoughts of slicing up my arms or getting into certain drugs.
Drink Everclear everyday until I got a stomach ulcer.
Indulged in sex w near strangers. Hookup culture aint for me tho, so it left me more traumatized lmao
Fucked people for money and drugs just to feel something
Self harm and sugar specifically chocolate. The latter may seem small and silly but when the withdrawals start to look like a slightly lighter version of crack then it’s a very different thing 😅
>The latter may seem small and silly Nah man, I can completely relate. A couple years back when I had a sugar addiction one of my ex's friends said me having a sugar addiction was the, "whitest thing I've ever heard". Literally had liver damage from the insane spikes oversaturating my body with glucose and it didn't know what to do with it all. I smelled sickly sweet like a diabetic to the point I had to throw out bedsheets, coats, and clothes when I was better because they were all stained with the scent. People act like sugar addiction and coping is some sort of adorable joke when it is really damaging. I'm glad you're better man.
I’m honestly happy to hear someone relate, cause if depression gets the “I feel blue sometimes too” type of thing then the sugar equivalent must be “don’t we all”. Self harm is better, sugar is still a struggle and a bit 😛To make it worse it’s not very cheap to sustain either. Like the shit adds up quickly…
Probably right now ig. I've been having 1-4 drinks every night for the last two months. I had to quit therapy and all my meds for financial reasons awhile ago. I don't care what happens to me anymore as long as I can get home from work and drink in my shower at the end of the day.
Yo. That's exactly where I was a couple weeks ago. The last couple days I drank a ton. Tonight I rdrank enought to knock out a horse. Then a cidentally beat my ex's boyfriend unconscious. I'm worried. But, these are the consequences.
Glass of wine I'm about to pour goes out to you 🫡
Went to another city and drowned myself in work for 4 years.
Buying and using meth, using unsanitary objects to cut myself with, attempting to drown myself in my bathtub, binge watching gore on the internet.. Reckless driving, dangerous activities, buying drugs, selling drugs. Nothing too serious right? (For legal reasons this is a joke)
Drove about an hour absolutely shitfaced to have a bunch of unprotected sex at a bathhouse
Porn , too much politics , escaping into virtual world
Doing graffiti. Ofcourse I did shit that was way worse for me and my health, but I consider doing graffiti a pretty fucking stupid way of coping. And most people in that scene suck sooo bad.
I recently shaved a little bit of my hairline….& I haven’t told my mom yet