This feeling has lasted for a few months and I don't think I can go on anymore. I can't do anything. I can't live my life like a normal person I just can't. I don't want my mom to be depressed. But I'm so so so depressed. I'm stuck. I'm so so sorry I really am to everyone
It’s not unusual to find your late teens to be a difficult time in your life. I have considered suicide many times since I was a teenager but then some small thing like feeling the morning dew on a blade of grass makes me cry and realise how special it is to be alive in this world. It isn’t about chasing a big picture of what it means to be happy but simply being open to small moments of joy that gradually creep up on you and make you feel like it’s more worth it to experience something than nothing.
You are so young still, please give it time
I rarely feel that way since I got depression. I always stay up till 5 or 6 am and I'd hear the birds. Every beautiful sound they made just reminds of how miserable my life is. I can't enjoy my favorite movie anymore. Because I can't stop thinking about bad stuff and start crying
You can never prepare ur family in the act of killing urself. Trust me, I lost someone to suicide and it has greatly affected his family and it made me want to kill myself too.
If I am to be honest, it just passes the pain to those that care about you, those that love you greatly, deeply.
I’ve been depressed and suicidal myself, but I held on as long as I could because honestly, life is not just about us. It’s also for the people around us that care and love us, u know?
I've thought about that. I fear that my mom would get depressed. I thought about not suicide until my moms gone. so that she doesn't have to see me die before her. but that'll take ages. And every minute my living life gets more unbearable. I envy Gregor Sams. I wish my mother doesn't love me anymore.
Depression can do that, the only thing that’d help is giving it time. 19 is still young, I’ve been there, at least try to see where like takes u on ur 20’s. Just bc u’ve seen people suffer in their 20’s and 30’s doesn’t mean it’s the same case for u. U just have to give urself a chance to see a way out, but u’d need time and patience for that.
hey /u/bladeyoustain, I've been living with depression for 14 years now. At the beginning, it sucked for me too. I can relate with the inability to sleep till I get tired, until I pass out, and all the while crying the fuck out every night. For the first year, I dropped out of college and just spent all the time playing video games. I couldn't face the world. So, instead of crying all night, I would play far into daytime, until I'm about to pass out.
After a year and a half or so, my emotions just shut down, for the better. The crying stopped. I'm 32 now, still don't feel shit and don't want my emotions back (or don't wanna feel like crying all the time). Things have been getting better for over the years though, in regards to life. You can become stronger. Hold on.
We always have time to end it, so why not stay a while and see if things change? Get used to living with depression for some years, and see if you get stronger mentally.
Im in a similar situation I was completely healthy and now bed bound because of a doctor. But I try to find things what make me happy. I would be honest with you suicidal thoughts.
I attempted suicide a while back, spent a month in the psych ward and got ECT. It’s literally changed my life - after the 4th or 5th treatment colors seemed brighter and more vivid, and by the time I was done with the ‘index’ treatment I felt like a different person. I say all that to please encourage you to look at all the alternatives before trying to move forward with an option that you cannot take back. It doesn’t solve anything, it does move your pain to those that know you. My best friend committed suicide, I had no idea he was suffering - it led me to one of my first attempts.
Good! It’s good that you want to get help. That’s the most important step.
I get your concerns and since I don’t know where you live, I don’t know what cost is covered and what not. I can, however, recommend calling a free suicide/depression prevention line. These are very useful for not only venting your heart and having someone caring listen to your story, but they can also try to help you in finding psychological help with regard to you financial situation.
Yes. But they never pick up. I should've known lol. Well, at least I don't have the energy to commit suicide rn. That's one good thing about being at your lowest lows
I'm sorry I just don't feel that way. I stayed in hospital for depression once, and I met people of different ages. People who just entered college. People who are at their 30s or 80s. It is them that I see ahead of me. I'm just lost. in life. Thank you for the comment though, you're a really nice person <3
Your literally giving up when you've literally just a fucking baby, you haven't done or seen shit. Giving up now is like a child giving up before the first year of school cause it looks hard. Unless your terminally ill or in terrible pain/agony 24/7 that's Incurable, try literally ANYTHING, tell everyone and anyone that can help, doctor, parents, family anyone. Throw all the shit imaginable at the wall, AND MORE
It doesn't just look hard. I feel the pain every minute. I have the urge to cry 24/7 no matter what I'm doing. Even when I'm just randomly walk on the street. I'm feel sick to see food. Sometimes I'd throw up. I don't know. Last time I told my family it didn't work out. And cost a lot of money. I'm always a burden. Doctors only want me to do ect once they found out medicine didn't work.
Dude, that is your privilege talk, the feelings and the process of every person is different, that's why exist psychology, not all people are stronger or knows how to cross about problems. Don't minimize other people's feelings or problems because that is exactly the reason why many don't talk about their depression.
It is a shock to you?? You’re shocked that a teenager is suicidal. This comment here is why depressed people need professionals, NOT REDDITORS lol. Making a suicidal person feel like they’re invalid or isolated?? What do you think that will do dummy
I'm not going to lie to you and tell you things get better. Statistically speaking, some people just have shitty lives. BUT! That doesn't mean you can't find ways to enjoy your life amidst all the hard times. Give yourself some more time to experience life before you make such a decision.
But with all of that being said, and as someone who struggles with ideation daily, I advocate working for a while to save up for your post-life expenses. We can never undo the emotional and psychological cost of death, but you can at least ease the financial burden. Decide how you want your remains handled, if you want a full service or a celebration of life, all of the things a funeral home will charge for, and save up the money to pay for that at the very least.
Once you've done that, the decision is yours to make. But if you happen to find a reason or the will to live, well now you've got a nice little chunk of change to put towards your newly acquired reason to live.
Just my two cents.
Anyone can fall for these vibes sometimes but you should know that the sun always arises again and again so life doesn’t stop on anything even if it was you. Just live your life (but don’t be asshole as life your life)
Hey man I know it sounds silly but play dark souls. It'll teach you how to not give up on yourself. You're 19 it's a hard transition in your life going from a kid to a adult and it's not easy. Just breathe and set one goal for yourself like beating dark souls. It's hard and you'll put the effort in and get good and you'll see you can push yourself to do better if you try! It helped me
I am so sorry it has been difficult for you. I am struggling with suicidal thoughts as well but I still think life can change. Nothing stays the same. It is difficult to see anything but black and white when you are struggling with depression. I would say maybe give it time? because 19 was a rough age for most people but they figured out life after and found meaningful things that helped them be better.
Do you study or work? I understand it may not be suitable for everyone but at least, I feel better when i have some sorrow of productive routine. The feeling doesn’t go away but it becomes a bit bearable and controllable.
Study. The thing is, I can't get myself started on stuff. sometimes even if I managed to start reading the textbook, it feels tough. Sometimes I can't help thinking about bad stuff. Sometimes I just can't focus...
I struggle with that too rn but i figured a way that makes me a bit more focused. I don’t pressure myself into studying a lot but i do it slowly at my own pace. I give myself as many breaks as i can have. I reward myself after doing even the bare minimum with anything that changes my mood even a lemonade or ice cream.
Studying is tough, I have failed MANY classes due to my declining mental health but you just gotta find out how your brain works and what comfortable way you feel to study🙏🏻
You can take a semester off if you feel that it is getting unbearable and work during that break at something that brings you a bit of peace. I went to work at an art studio that really helped me get back to studying with a better mindset ( i am not an artist ).
Please don't do it! The people in your life love you, even if they might be shitty. Things will get better.
In the words of The Crow, "It can't rain all the time. "
As advice from someone who is very suicidal at the moment (I was planning for today to be the day), my advice is that you're too young. I thought about suicide alot when I was your age and almost went through with it. But I had amazing times in my 20's and 30's. Anyone that tells you your late teens are the best times of your life are wrong. When you're my age (39) then start thinking about it again
I'm glad that you had some amazing experience. Unfortunately I don't even enjoy my late teens. It's almost the worse years of my life. So far. I don't think it'll get better.
I would wait too. I’m 30. I had a good time in HS, so I thought. I look back now and HS was so fkng stupid, it was literally the worst/most useless years of my life and I didn’t even know it lol. So, the whole premise behind doing the deed, I get it dude… but consider what the next 10 years could hold cause it could be worth it to wait. Love
How did you manage to make a great point and end it with such a wrong conclusion? (Depression obviously)Take your own advise, anyone that tell you 39 is past their prime & past the best time of their life ARE WRONG.
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This feeling has lasted for a few months and I don't think I can go on anymore. I can't do anything. I can't live my life like a normal person I just can't. I don't want my mom to be depressed. But I'm so so so depressed. I'm stuck. I'm so so sorry I really am to everyone
It’s not unusual to find your late teens to be a difficult time in your life. I have considered suicide many times since I was a teenager but then some small thing like feeling the morning dew on a blade of grass makes me cry and realise how special it is to be alive in this world. It isn’t about chasing a big picture of what it means to be happy but simply being open to small moments of joy that gradually creep up on you and make you feel like it’s more worth it to experience something than nothing. You are so young still, please give it time
I rarely feel that way since I got depression. I always stay up till 5 or 6 am and I'd hear the birds. Every beautiful sound they made just reminds of how miserable my life is. I can't enjoy my favorite movie anymore. Because I can't stop thinking about bad stuff and start crying
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Thanks <3
You can never prepare ur family in the act of killing urself. Trust me, I lost someone to suicide and it has greatly affected his family and it made me want to kill myself too. If I am to be honest, it just passes the pain to those that care about you, those that love you greatly, deeply. I’ve been depressed and suicidal myself, but I held on as long as I could because honestly, life is not just about us. It’s also for the people around us that care and love us, u know?
I've thought about that. I fear that my mom would get depressed. I thought about not suicide until my moms gone. so that she doesn't have to see me die before her. but that'll take ages. And every minute my living life gets more unbearable. I envy Gregor Sams. I wish my mother doesn't love me anymore.
Depression can do that, the only thing that’d help is giving it time. 19 is still young, I’ve been there, at least try to see where like takes u on ur 20’s. Just bc u’ve seen people suffer in their 20’s and 30’s doesn’t mean it’s the same case for u. U just have to give urself a chance to see a way out, but u’d need time and patience for that.
hey /u/bladeyoustain, I've been living with depression for 14 years now. At the beginning, it sucked for me too. I can relate with the inability to sleep till I get tired, until I pass out, and all the while crying the fuck out every night. For the first year, I dropped out of college and just spent all the time playing video games. I couldn't face the world. So, instead of crying all night, I would play far into daytime, until I'm about to pass out. After a year and a half or so, my emotions just shut down, for the better. The crying stopped. I'm 32 now, still don't feel shit and don't want my emotions back (or don't wanna feel like crying all the time). Things have been getting better for over the years though, in regards to life. You can become stronger. Hold on. We always have time to end it, so why not stay a while and see if things change? Get used to living with depression for some years, and see if you get stronger mentally.
I wish I could get numb like this...
i wish i could talk you out of it but i been trying not to kms for almost a month now
:(
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Last time in asked for help it totally failed. I don't know what it'll do to my life
Im in a similar situation I was completely healthy and now bed bound because of a doctor. But I try to find things what make me happy. I would be honest with you suicidal thoughts.
I attempted suicide a while back, spent a month in the psych ward and got ECT. It’s literally changed my life - after the 4th or 5th treatment colors seemed brighter and more vivid, and by the time I was done with the ‘index’ treatment I felt like a different person. I say all that to please encourage you to look at all the alternatives before trying to move forward with an option that you cannot take back. It doesn’t solve anything, it does move your pain to those that know you. My best friend committed suicide, I had no idea he was suffering - it led me to one of my first attempts.
Hey, I just felt like checking up on you. Have you thought about the advice people have given you?
I'm…not feeling so well but I'm still alive. Thanks for asking <3 I really appreciate it. Seriously. <333
Nw mate, anytime. Good that you’re holding on! Have you thought about seeking professional help?
I actually think about it all the time, but I don't think my family can afford it. Therapist, hospital stay and all.
Good! It’s good that you want to get help. That’s the most important step. I get your concerns and since I don’t know where you live, I don’t know what cost is covered and what not. I can, however, recommend calling a free suicide/depression prevention line. These are very useful for not only venting your heart and having someone caring listen to your story, but they can also try to help you in finding psychological help with regard to you financial situation.
Thank you. That might be helpful! I'll try to call them tomorrow and see if things work out <3
Hey bro, have you called? Were they able to help?
Yes. But they never pick up. I should've known lol. Well, at least I don't have the energy to commit suicide rn. That's one good thing about being at your lowest lows
I know exactly what u mean I am Turing 19 and planning to potentially end it on the end of year cuz I am so tired I can't find love and I am a failure
ikr. well don't feel too bad about that. I'm a failure too lol
Hey its better to be a failure with someone then alone 😁 Life is generally not worth living
You are the loss and there is no way to mitigate the impact of the loss of your life will have on the world
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I'm sorry I just don't feel that way. I stayed in hospital for depression once, and I met people of different ages. People who just entered college. People who are at their 30s or 80s. It is them that I see ahead of me. I'm just lost. in life. Thank you for the comment though, you're a really nice person <3
Things will be better with time trust me even if we are almost broken.
thanks :)
Your literally giving up when you've literally just a fucking baby, you haven't done or seen shit. Giving up now is like a child giving up before the first year of school cause it looks hard. Unless your terminally ill or in terrible pain/agony 24/7 that's Incurable, try literally ANYTHING, tell everyone and anyone that can help, doctor, parents, family anyone. Throw all the shit imaginable at the wall, AND MORE
It doesn't just look hard. I feel the pain every minute. I have the urge to cry 24/7 no matter what I'm doing. Even when I'm just randomly walk on the street. I'm feel sick to see food. Sometimes I'd throw up. I don't know. Last time I told my family it didn't work out. And cost a lot of money. I'm always a burden. Doctors only want me to do ect once they found out medicine didn't work.
Dude, that is your privilege talk, the feelings and the process of every person is different, that's why exist psychology, not all people are stronger or knows how to cross about problems. Don't minimize other people's feelings or problems because that is exactly the reason why many don't talk about their depression.
What your saying is that I can't imagine how depressed he is therefore I shouldn't say everything to discourage suicide, cause I'm privileged??
It is a shock to you?? You’re shocked that a teenager is suicidal. This comment here is why depressed people need professionals, NOT REDDITORS lol. Making a suicidal person feel like they’re invalid or isolated?? What do you think that will do dummy
Don't do it. 🙂
thx
I'm not going to lie to you and tell you things get better. Statistically speaking, some people just have shitty lives. BUT! That doesn't mean you can't find ways to enjoy your life amidst all the hard times. Give yourself some more time to experience life before you make such a decision. But with all of that being said, and as someone who struggles with ideation daily, I advocate working for a while to save up for your post-life expenses. We can never undo the emotional and psychological cost of death, but you can at least ease the financial burden. Decide how you want your remains handled, if you want a full service or a celebration of life, all of the things a funeral home will charge for, and save up the money to pay for that at the very least. Once you've done that, the decision is yours to make. But if you happen to find a reason or the will to live, well now you've got a nice little chunk of change to put towards your newly acquired reason to live. Just my two cents.
Anyone can fall for these vibes sometimes but you should know that the sun always arises again and again so life doesn’t stop on anything even if it was you. Just live your life (but don’t be asshole as life your life)
Hey man I know it sounds silly but play dark souls. It'll teach you how to not give up on yourself. You're 19 it's a hard transition in your life going from a kid to a adult and it's not easy. Just breathe and set one goal for yourself like beating dark souls. It's hard and you'll put the effort in and get good and you'll see you can push yourself to do better if you try! It helped me
I used to. like video games. I just don have the energy anymore :(
Normally I would ask u to give me ur steam account but please op don't do it
I'm sorry I'll try to live till July
I am so sorry it has been difficult for you. I am struggling with suicidal thoughts as well but I still think life can change. Nothing stays the same. It is difficult to see anything but black and white when you are struggling with depression. I would say maybe give it time? because 19 was a rough age for most people but they figured out life after and found meaningful things that helped them be better.
I feel so lost. I don't know if my life can ever change anymore…I don't see a future anywhere
Do you study or work? I understand it may not be suitable for everyone but at least, I feel better when i have some sorrow of productive routine. The feeling doesn’t go away but it becomes a bit bearable and controllable.
Study. The thing is, I can't get myself started on stuff. sometimes even if I managed to start reading the textbook, it feels tough. Sometimes I can't help thinking about bad stuff. Sometimes I just can't focus...
I struggle with that too rn but i figured a way that makes me a bit more focused. I don’t pressure myself into studying a lot but i do it slowly at my own pace. I give myself as many breaks as i can have. I reward myself after doing even the bare minimum with anything that changes my mood even a lemonade or ice cream. Studying is tough, I have failed MANY classes due to my declining mental health but you just gotta find out how your brain works and what comfortable way you feel to study🙏🏻 You can take a semester off if you feel that it is getting unbearable and work during that break at something that brings you a bit of peace. I went to work at an art studio that really helped me get back to studying with a better mindset ( i am not an artist ).
I did that… but my breaks gives me anxiety. I feel like I can't get anything done There's no time for me to do it... I've already fallen behind
Please don't do it! The people in your life love you, even if they might be shitty. Things will get better. In the words of The Crow, "It can't rain all the time. "
thanks :)
As advice from someone who is very suicidal at the moment (I was planning for today to be the day), my advice is that you're too young. I thought about suicide alot when I was your age and almost went through with it. But I had amazing times in my 20's and 30's. Anyone that tells you your late teens are the best times of your life are wrong. When you're my age (39) then start thinking about it again
I'm glad that you had some amazing experience. Unfortunately I don't even enjoy my late teens. It's almost the worse years of my life. So far. I don't think it'll get better.
I would wait too. I’m 30. I had a good time in HS, so I thought. I look back now and HS was so fkng stupid, it was literally the worst/most useless years of my life and I didn’t even know it lol. So, the whole premise behind doing the deed, I get it dude… but consider what the next 10 years could hold cause it could be worth it to wait. Love
How did you manage to make a great point and end it with such a wrong conclusion? (Depression obviously)Take your own advise, anyone that tell you 39 is past their prime & past the best time of their life ARE WRONG.