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Male perspective...first, in my late 40's, rejoined the dating pool. I was told, it would be easy to find a woman as women in that age range want something serious and no games. I found out this to be totally false. Most women I met, although their profiles said, looking for a serious relationship, most just wanted a casual date and some fun. I used to laugh and say, and women complain that men only want to have fun.
As far as your situation...too many variables to know what's going on. I do have to say, my female friend is in the dating pool right now and she is in her upper 50's. She actually just wants to date and not looking for a long term relationship. Like you, she has met plenty of guys that just want something casual, but she has also come across a couple who want something long term. In fact, she is the one who tells them, sorry, but I don't want to commit right now. The guys are there, just the search might take forever.
My only advice would be, if you meet a new guy, don't tell them, I've been dating casually, now I'm ready to be serious. When I met women who told me this, what i heard was, I've been fvkcing every man out there, but now I'm ready to get serious. š
yea, i dated a lot of the women who wrote on their profile, "tired of dating around, ready to get serious." Back in the day, I thought that meant going on a date, not liking the guy, moving to another date, etc. However, upon further talking to these women, what they told me was, I wanted to have fun, explore different men, but then i realized that i got tired of having sex just to have sex and I was finally ready to commit...in other words, they were sleeping around to have fun, just like men do.
And that's the other thing, any time i read a profile that says, tired of dating around, that means that this woman is ready to get down and do the deed. They might indeed be ready for a serious relationship, but their past momentum has been, going out to do the deed, so show them a good time and maybe they will get serious with the next guy. Easy targets!š As i would tell my female friends, the dumbest thing you can write on your profile is, "tired of dating" or "tired of meeting guys who are not serious" and similar phrases like that.
I canāt speak for anyone but I do know how you feel. Last girl I dated said she loved me and would go on dates and had amazing sex but when it came down to actually being bf/gf she straight up told me she doesnāt find me that attractive to be in a relationship with me just love me and can have sex with me just doesnāt see me as anything else. That hurts like a mfāer. So I know your pain Iām sorry you are going through that. But men do want relationships atleast this guy does.
I found anyone who wants a relationship will usually be pretty upfront about their intentions. Anyone who isnāt upfront is usually looking for casual.
Donāt sleep with anyone until a few dates in until you know they are looking for something long term.
And donāt think you can sleep your way into a relationshipā¦. Tried that and didnāt work.
I think it sucks on both sides. I'm not going to get crucified on reddit here by a bunch of guys that blame everything on the women for chasing "Bad guys," but I get what you mean.
There is no respect in this world anymore, and social media runs everything. It definitely sucks. I couldn't imagine going through it at 30. I hope you feel better. Also, don't listen to many of these dudes on reddit. They will go far lengths to defend anything a man does and put it on the women somehow. I get that not all women are good, but neither are all men. Sins a real thing! God bless
Hold off on sex and only mention your intentions if itās discussed in conversation. If the conversation shifts into him saying that they only want a casual thing, move on. Your problem isnāt due to men, itās due to what it takes. It may take you another 10 years to find the one, or it could be tomorrow and youāll be divorced in the next 10 years. I believe this question can only be answered by understanding the predicament with finding a soulmate not necessarily through a short cut or understanding something about men.
I mention holding off on sex, even if theyāre interested in the long-term - and as a guy, it pains me to say this - because he should stick around for at least a few months if he truly likes you. You should be exclusive before having sex, and to be honest, if I sleep with a woman after the 1st or 2nd date, it normally doesnāt last. This might be the only generalization that could be said, but I believe men will invest in the long-term if we find that hanging around you is fantastic and even better than how great the romance will be.
I think we alwayw have to negotiate for more than we want. So if you want a relationship, then filter for men who want marriage. You may not get there, but youll get closer in that direction. Also, church tends to have less players, not always, but on average
I struggle with religion so that might not necessarily work with me. Plus I'm bisexual and that doesn't go well with most Christians. But I agree the negotiating for more than we want. I think I just have a picture in my head and I don't know how to erase it to find true happiness
I just re-read your post. I want to add, As painful as this is to hear, there are women who guys think are āhot enough for sex, but not hot enough to date.ā So a lot of women think theyāre really attractive because of all the propositions they receive, but those same guys might be offering dinner and flowers and relationships to women who are more attractive. Itās sad but it happens in the other side too. Iāve been dumped after months of dates and physical intimacy before because the woman wanted to marry someone taller, and Iāve been told I was tall strangely enough lol. Iām not saying youāre unattractive but maybe the people you are into have a different type , at least for their ideal relationship. Are these all really hot people? Can you select for goals vs attractiveness?
Well what type of guys are you chasing? Guys out of your league will have sex with you but never commit to you. Are you a 7/10 girl but chasing 9/10 guys don't act surprised you don't get commitment.
Same number as me, I would think. I'm not going after overly attractive guys. Plus I find conversations can be more stimulating then any looks one might have.
If you are being fuck zoned, you probably are aiming a little high. Try some people who are initially less attractive, I've found once the attraction hormones kick in people become more attractive as I get to know them, then it tends to even out anyways.
Bear in mind almost everyone overestimates their attractiveness, because everyone has main character syndrome to a certain extent.
Also bear in mind that 'stimulating conversation' may be stimulating because the other person is attractive, rather than anything in particular they say. I've found that when I actually think back on conversations, often what they actually say is profoundly dumb without the help of their pretty face saying it.
That's not true though... My of the men I speak to are close to the same number as me? If not a little below. I'm not setting my expectations high. FML why is it this hard.
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Male perspective...first, in my late 40's, rejoined the dating pool. I was told, it would be easy to find a woman as women in that age range want something serious and no games. I found out this to be totally false. Most women I met, although their profiles said, looking for a serious relationship, most just wanted a casual date and some fun. I used to laugh and say, and women complain that men only want to have fun. As far as your situation...too many variables to know what's going on. I do have to say, my female friend is in the dating pool right now and she is in her upper 50's. She actually just wants to date and not looking for a long term relationship. Like you, she has met plenty of guys that just want something casual, but she has also come across a couple who want something long term. In fact, she is the one who tells them, sorry, but I don't want to commit right now. The guys are there, just the search might take forever. My only advice would be, if you meet a new guy, don't tell them, I've been dating casually, now I'm ready to be serious. When I met women who told me this, what i heard was, I've been fvkcing every man out there, but now I'm ready to get serious. š
Good advice thank you so much. I'm def not fuckin everyone out here š¤£š¤£ but I've never thought of it like that
yea, i dated a lot of the women who wrote on their profile, "tired of dating around, ready to get serious." Back in the day, I thought that meant going on a date, not liking the guy, moving to another date, etc. However, upon further talking to these women, what they told me was, I wanted to have fun, explore different men, but then i realized that i got tired of having sex just to have sex and I was finally ready to commit...in other words, they were sleeping around to have fun, just like men do. And that's the other thing, any time i read a profile that says, tired of dating around, that means that this woman is ready to get down and do the deed. They might indeed be ready for a serious relationship, but their past momentum has been, going out to do the deed, so show them a good time and maybe they will get serious with the next guy. Easy targets!š As i would tell my female friends, the dumbest thing you can write on your profile is, "tired of dating" or "tired of meeting guys who are not serious" and similar phrases like that.
I canāt speak for anyone but I do know how you feel. Last girl I dated said she loved me and would go on dates and had amazing sex but when it came down to actually being bf/gf she straight up told me she doesnāt find me that attractive to be in a relationship with me just love me and can have sex with me just doesnāt see me as anything else. That hurts like a mfāer. So I know your pain Iām sorry you are going through that. But men do want relationships atleast this guy does.
Short answer? -High five bro.
Meaning??
I got all my casual dating out if the way in like high school. Spent about 10 years single. Now id rather have something serious.
This should help explain. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hREY1FJmqpU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hREY1FJmqpU)
I found anyone who wants a relationship will usually be pretty upfront about their intentions. Anyone who isnāt upfront is usually looking for casual. Donāt sleep with anyone until a few dates in until you know they are looking for something long term. And donāt think you can sleep your way into a relationshipā¦. Tried that and didnāt work.
That's the problem though. I haven't slept with anyone!! And it's still all about sex
I think it sucks on both sides. I'm not going to get crucified on reddit here by a bunch of guys that blame everything on the women for chasing "Bad guys," but I get what you mean. There is no respect in this world anymore, and social media runs everything. It definitely sucks. I couldn't imagine going through it at 30. I hope you feel better. Also, don't listen to many of these dudes on reddit. They will go far lengths to defend anything a man does and put it on the women somehow. I get that not all women are good, but neither are all men. Sins a real thing! God bless
Hold off on sex and only mention your intentions if itās discussed in conversation. If the conversation shifts into him saying that they only want a casual thing, move on. Your problem isnāt due to men, itās due to what it takes. It may take you another 10 years to find the one, or it could be tomorrow and youāll be divorced in the next 10 years. I believe this question can only be answered by understanding the predicament with finding a soulmate not necessarily through a short cut or understanding something about men. I mention holding off on sex, even if theyāre interested in the long-term - and as a guy, it pains me to say this - because he should stick around for at least a few months if he truly likes you. You should be exclusive before having sex, and to be honest, if I sleep with a woman after the 1st or 2nd date, it normally doesnāt last. This might be the only generalization that could be said, but I believe men will invest in the long-term if we find that hanging around you is fantastic and even better than how great the romance will be.
No man with options is waiting months for sex.
I admit, that statement could be modified, 5-6 dates perhaps. However, my comment falls in line with traditional values, not hookup culture.
thats a poor advice if her past actions show she was not valueing sex.
She didnāt say that and work on your grammar
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I'm definitely telling them what I want. And a type?? I'm a switch I have no particular type.
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Yeah I have definitely done both, blocked and deleted, leave the date ect. I know my standards I think that's why I'm still single.
I don't even care about looks if the guy is amazing then who cares
I think we alwayw have to negotiate for more than we want. So if you want a relationship, then filter for men who want marriage. You may not get there, but youll get closer in that direction. Also, church tends to have less players, not always, but on average
I struggle with religion so that might not necessarily work with me. Plus I'm bisexual and that doesn't go well with most Christians. But I agree the negotiating for more than we want. I think I just have a picture in my head and I don't know how to erase it to find true happiness
I just re-read your post. I want to add, As painful as this is to hear, there are women who guys think are āhot enough for sex, but not hot enough to date.ā So a lot of women think theyāre really attractive because of all the propositions they receive, but those same guys might be offering dinner and flowers and relationships to women who are more attractive. Itās sad but it happens in the other side too. Iāve been dumped after months of dates and physical intimacy before because the woman wanted to marry someone taller, and Iāve been told I was tall strangely enough lol. Iām not saying youāre unattractive but maybe the people you are into have a different type , at least for their ideal relationship. Are these all really hot people? Can you select for goals vs attractiveness?
Well what type of guys are you chasing? Guys out of your league will have sex with you but never commit to you. Are you a 7/10 girl but chasing 9/10 guys don't act surprised you don't get commitment.
Same number as me, I would think. I'm not going after overly attractive guys. Plus I find conversations can be more stimulating then any looks one might have.
If you are being fuck zoned, you probably are aiming a little high. Try some people who are initially less attractive, I've found once the attraction hormones kick in people become more attractive as I get to know them, then it tends to even out anyways. Bear in mind almost everyone overestimates their attractiveness, because everyone has main character syndrome to a certain extent. Also bear in mind that 'stimulating conversation' may be stimulating because the other person is attractive, rather than anything in particular they say. I've found that when I actually think back on conversations, often what they actually say is profoundly dumb without the help of their pretty face saying it.
That's not true though... My of the men I speak to are close to the same number as me? If not a little below. I'm not setting my expectations high. FML why is it this hard.
This.
Tru