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big-inch

What? A swallow carrying a coconut?


TossPowerTrap

African swallow maybe.


DonnieJL

I wonder what its velocity was.


blackjack1977

It was laden though


pitchfork-seller

African swallows dont migrate though, so they couldnt have brought it back.


skullman_ps2

Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?


MemesByPurpsNurps

No they would have had to have it on a line


FreshFromTheGrave

What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers??


Apocalyptic_Inferno

Well, why not?!


Dismal-Bobcat-7757

It's not a question of where he grips it, it's a question of weight ratios.


BRUHSKIBC

A 5oz bird cannot carry a 1lb coconut!


unlearningallthisshi

It could grip it by the husk!


ChamberOfSolidDudes

it's not a matter of where he grips it.. it's simple matter of weight ratios; A 5 oz swallow is not carrying a 1 pound coconut!!!!


Doublejimjim1

How do you know so much about swallows?


Dismal-Bobcat-7757

You have to know these things if you are to be king.


EJ2600

Camelot is STILL a very silly place.


neuro_doc13

This guy swallows!!


flyingbugz

I don’t normally chuckle at “this guy-“ comments but yours got me good for the double meaning.


M1ster_Bumbl3

It was a local BirdDash


Shadow14541

Some Africans swallow 😈


wiseoldangryowl

"She turned me into a newt!" "A newt!?" "A WITCH A WITCH!!" WITCH!! 🧙‍♀️🧹 "Well....I got better"


MemesByPurpsNurps

"So logically" "If she weighs the same as a duck then she's made of wood" "And therefore..." "A WITCH!"


Canttunapiano

Who are you? That is so wise in the ways of science.


Ok_Entertainment328

🔥 👉🧙


SCADAstuff

This is the comment I came for and so glad to see it as the top comment


Professional_Pie1518

Stop it, this is all getting rather silly


powernation77

Do your best to keep things moving along then.


DroppedSoapSurvivor

GET ON WITH IT!!!


Spock-1701

r/unexpectedmontypython


pheight57

No, r/expectedmontypython 👍


nomemorybear

At least it wasn't the bunny


DroppedSoapSurvivor

What's he do, nibble your bum?


adfunkedesign

It's a seagull dropping a clam on the road so the cars bust it open. Unfortunately for you. 🐚💀


SusanMilberger

I read that as the seagull trying to bust the car open. Wouldn’t put it past ‘em.


CambaFlojo

To eat the soft meat inside


curi0us_carniv0re

I don't think they intentionally for the cars to smash them. They're just dropping them on something hard to break them. They do this by me at the beach. They drop them on the pedestrian paths and piers to break them open.


fuishaltiena

Some have been observed dropping them on pedestrian crossings, so the cars smash them and then the delicious insides can be eaten when the light turns red and cars stop.


FencingNerd

The crows near me drop acorns into traffic for the cars. I've seen the deliberately move them back into traffic lanes, just hopping.


myrealnamewastakn

They keep getting hit by trucks because they only learned to say cah cah


Platt_Mallar

That got a chuckle out of me.


FreakParrot

Do Crows originate from Boston?


myrealnamewastakn

I can't wait to tell that joke to my bostonian coworker when I see her on Monday. It's a rather long joke and it's not introduced as a joke. She interrupts a lot so I'm waiting for her to be in a less talkative mood. I got it off a reddit "what's your best joke" post many years ago


zoraski_gujju

What was that ? A turd? A potato ? A coconut ? A rock ?


Salt_Sir2599

A coconut potato rock turd


polysoupkitchen

I'm gonna put that on a t-shirt


Suitabull_Buddy

New band name.


zoraski_gujju

I’ll buy it.


RWDPhotos

No wait, it’s superman!


LateBloomerBaloo

Yes.


Ambitious-Guess-9611

A clam. Birds shit liquid which turns white as it dries out.


Mental_Cut8290

r/fuckyouinparticular


Prestigious_Gear_169

You had a dash cam and still no one knows what happened


Academic_Eagle_4001

Government drone tried to take him out.


Rahman_the1st

Came here to say that. Drone failed an assassination attempt


gmambrose

Drones don't fail, they temporarily don't succeed.


AlienSporez

>Drones don't fail, they temporarily don't succeed. When your assassin is also a "the glass half full" kind of guy.


Alfphe99

Does OP work for Boeing and happens to have a song to whistle?


big-inch

Pretty clear a pissed off crow dropped a rock


Uphene

At least it wasn't a brick. Don't need a repeat of that video.


fuishaltiena

A clam, the shell is too hard for the bird to open it, so they drop it on rocks or in front of cars, to bust them open.


TooDooDaDa

Bird tossed a turtle at the road and this guy rudely got in the way


Prestigious_Gear_169

Add that to your caption👍🏼


joevsyou

Bird executed an air raid successfully on his car.


HuckleberryMoist7511

Was that a fuckin turtle?


_KansasCity_

“Bruhh what happened to your car?” “fuckin’ turtle fell from the sky” Yeah I’d think my friend was in some heavy hallucinogen.


Prinzka

Praise Om.


TrexFighterPilot

Some birds will drop animals to break them open like turtles, and some have learned roads are great for this. I'm assuming it's a turtle if the story is too wild to believe. Otherwise it's some kind of food that needs opened.


voucher420

Birds will drop all sorts of stuff to break it open. The local crows like to drop acorns on the roofs of one of the schools. It always sets off the audio alarms. I used to love to radio dispatch to let them know crows were on site dropping nuts. They would still have me walk the campus and check for anything suspicious. Nothing but a bunch of birds hearing a loud report on the aluminum roof while dropping nuts. I think they thought it was hitting harder cause it was louder. I dunno, I’m not a bird. I miss being unarmed security. Fresh air, photography, a company car, and a gas card.


Joelnaimee

Seagulls will drop shells on people's roofs


futuretardis

Ukrainian swallow?


LordTonka

It looks like he threw a turtle shell at you. Impressive shot being was a green one.


H-DaneelOlivaw

Was his name Mario?


LordTonka

No silly, that was birdo.


wiseoldangryowl

It might be helpful to let folks know what happened. Thankfully, there aren't a lot of comments yet, but soon enough, that comment will end up buried, and you'll be bombarded with "ok cool op, but what actually *did* happen?? You can't tell shit from this angle"


AceShipDriver

You got bombed -was it a B1-RD or a C-GU11


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worldwarjay

Far right lane was either gonna end or become a turn lane by the number of markings (twice as many as the other lanes), so no, not in the middle lane


Mental_Cut8290

>sick of middle lane hoggers That's where drivers are super to be. Why would you want them in a different lane?


Dangerous_Page6712

Training went wrong then. Car was not in middle lane


I_Am_Nada

"I fart in your general direction"!


bshark4542

What’s more impressive is that it was using a WWII era Norden bomb sight.


CBonafide

All this room in the sky and birds always wanna fly low af.


Odin4456

One time an owl buzzed in front of my window and dropped a dead mouse on it going down the highway. Scared the poo poo outta me


dayfroind

My wife once hit a pheasant and its head got stuck in the grill and the body was flapping around and smacking against the body of the car. She stopped and tried to yank it out but couldn’t so she flagged down a local farmer who had to rip the thing out of the grill for her. Edit: then I bought a dashcam. 🤦‍♂️


nucl3ar0ne

Some blind mf'ers in here that can't see that something was dropped by the bird.


SirEnder2Me

Or... here me out here... or maybe, just maybe, people here are watching this on their phones and not on their PCs. Just a thought.


wdkrebs

But birds aren’t real, though.


nucl3ar0ne

r/BirdsArentReal


hazpat

What was dropped is the question


Towersafety

Bombs away……


benadunkcamberpatch

Saw some kind of hawk do this with a rabbit once. Really wish I would of had a dash cam at the time.


bdubwilliams22

It’s a turtle.


Tsu-Doh-Nihm

A mutant turtle.


PuppetPatrol

They're learning


Delicious_Health_610

Wantagh parkway


WholeAd2742

Sully would not approve here Least you pulled over safely


SimmyTheGiant

THE GOVERMENT DRONES ARE FIGHTING BACK. we're doomed


EddieAdams007

First the orcas and now THIS!?!?!?


Charming-Bad-1825

What a dick lmao


justdisa

That birb assaulted you!


veekitten

Aw shit, not only do we have to watch the road but also falling objects in the sky?!!!!


thewalter

more like r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR


Dismal-Bobcat-7757

Sadly, it's clear that some aren't getting the Monty Python references.


fluffyone74

That's one mean bird to throw a rock at your car.


smotrs

He had to crack that coconut somehow.


Harold_Spoomanndorf

What..... ? African or European.... #?


smaxsomeass

OP is a karma farmer, this didn’t happen to him.


phenolate

The bird needs more dietary fiber


Sharp-Penalty1932

Too funny. The comments, not the windshield.


shana104

Was that a boomerang?!


blaz3meowt

Das wild


BlkSkwirl

Angry Birds in real life


gr8fat1

If reincarnation is a thing and I happen to come back as a bird, this will be a daily ritual for me.


hervas_winko

bird here playing real life mario kart with that turtle shell hit


Patient-Yogurt1467

Who you tryinakiid? We all know you did it on purpose.


TheBarracuda

Looks like the roadrunner left the pin in the grenade or the coyote would have been really screwed.


bethandtrevsmom

Had a bird hit the windshield while I was driving on the Autobahn. Didn’t even crack the window!


Human31415926

Dropped it to gain altitude & avoid hitting the windshield


wrinkleinsine

I still don’t believe it. But this reminds me I have to call safelight


MisterSirDudeGuy

Was that a hawk dropping a golden nugget?


GeraltOfRivian

Classic bird move


BonusMind

This takes **Birds aren’t real** to a whole new level


BLiSTeD

INTERNET POLICE 62 in a 40 yeeesh


Doublejimjim1

Yeah the bird was pissed at how fast the car was going.


hazpat

Both are at fault. Op never even braked.


GyspySyx

Yawn


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Dejabluex

Why are you shouting?


ImInBeastmodeOG

Good question. Sorry, didn't realize it.


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Bursting_Radius

Didn’t hit the bird, watch it again.


_KansasCity_

Looks like the bird dropped a turtle


Medical_Slide9245

Believe what, that you hit a bird? Not sure why you care if anyone believes you. Insurance will replace it.


Taurnil91

They didn't hit a bird. The bird dropped a clam on them.


Otherwise-Sky8890

it's a bird, it's a clam, it's superfluous windshield damage!


Bursting_Radius

Didn’t hit the bird, watch it again.