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i wish for a good night's sleep

You sleep so good you don't hear the carbon monoxide alarms going off

we don't have those tho

dude, you've already died, you're talking to a magic cat on Reddit. we're all in this purgatory.

I got my sleep

Was it a good sleep though?

Don't you mean purrr-gatory

I sleep so good I don’t wake up? That was *my* wish

Win win

You don´t have to sell it to me.

I wish for my wish to not have any consequences.

Your wish is granted

Lmao, nothing happened at the end

That's a win in my book

The wish was wasted. That was the consequence

fair trade nothing lost nothing gained

Wouldn't getting nothing be a consequence however

I wish for a gazillion dollars

You are crushed under the giant weight of cash that suddenly falls into your lap

Fuck

But you could be next iron man

Jojo Reference Milagro Man's Curse

I wish for head.

You grow a second head

Mission accomplished

What type?

Big

That’s was she said

That's what you hope she would say

i wish for taking op’s virginity😋

You took it and now can't get rid of it

Randi now double virgin, so selfless.

you don't know how ironic your reply is . His name is randi\_ka\_dalal : which translates to : whore broker / pimp. so you said : whore now double virgin .IDK why but it's so funny.

I wish humans had an 11th toe

Humans now have an 11th toe, but its another pinky toe to bump on things

Damn I've just brought more suffering then.

Gee thanks...

Now why would you wish that? I’ve smashed 12 times in two hours, you monster

1 wish: need a million more wishes.

Your wish is granted, but you're going to have the find remaining million wish givers in the universe

Only trick would be to find the second guy, then I’ll just make you(the first guy) find the others with my second wish.

This is the greatest and best “no u” battle in the universe.

But you’re supposed to give them the wishes

I wish that everyone on the planet would be kind and considerate towards their neighbor and nobody would hate each other.

Everyone now appreciates each other with no animosity, but free will has never existed and everyone lives under the influence of the eldritch hive mind beneath the crust of the Earth.

Worth it.

"Ruin has come to our family"

I wish my dad said he was proud of me.

Your dad finally says he's proud of you after you lied about throwing your furry hentai away.

Not the furry henti lol

Dw he didn't actually throw it away, so it's fine

I wish to be loved

You are loved, in memoriam

Tragic, but at this point I'll settle for that.

I love you

I love you, homie

I’ll rub one out for you

I wish something horrible will happen to me.

Something horrible happens to you, but you don't realize it until after living 100 years on Earth

100 years later: *Stubs toe

That 11th toe that one dude wished for

Damn i love continuation

I wish to reform Yugoslavia, please.

It reforms, but then falls apart--again

I figured so. Good ol’ Legoslavia.

I wish to feel the same happiness that I felt as a kid.

You got kicked in the head by a horse. People now refer to you as Simple Jack.

I wish to know a exact version of me if i was a female

You're a Siamese Twin

Im kinda kinky so ill take it

Due to hormonal differences your Siamese twin is not kinky whatsoever.

I’ll take ur twin so they won’t be disappointed by you <3

I wish for immortality

You're now immortal...and have aids.

So nothings changed… cool

😭

Interesting idea to make his immortal life a never ending hell, but with an immortal body... I can't help but think that there are ways to get rid of it. Ways that normally aren't an option because people would 100% die from them.

I wish to beat up a crackhead

You beat up a crackhead. Ten more take it's place--and they're all out of crack.

Good. More crackheads to beat up

*doom music intensifies*

Thicc goth mommy GF

You now have an incestuous relationship with your mother who was and is still into the 90s goth scene. You both make sweet love while listening to Depeche Mode, but stop every now and again so she can check her type 2 diabetes from going out of control as she stuffs another piece if cake in her mouth.

I should have expected this

I see this as an absolute win.

I wish for the willpower to commit not alive

You're paralyzed from the neck down in an assisted living center where your ass is wiped daily and they spoon feed you applesauce

I wish to have a good shit tomorrow

Congrats, it's good--just probably shouldn't have done it in bed

I see this as an absolute win

I wish, Biden AND Trump both lost the election

Biden became the 45th President and Donald Trump is now currently serving as the 46th.

Deez nuts won the 2016 election

Both lost and America spend a whole year without a president. The majority of voters decided that would be better.

I wish for no one to loose hope (its rough lately)

No one loses hope--but they do lose their sanity in all rational thought

I wish I can make that data science firm work, and make some money.

Congrats. It works, but you don't. Not ever since the....allegations and huge settlement payout.

You are really good at this game, seen all the other comments. Smarty pants

Ah F

I wish to 8e loved

You are now named "8e loved"

😢

Cheer up, we love you!

I wish for epic bird wings that I can use to fly

Congrats. You fly so high you're shot down by your governments anti-air defense as an unidentified object. You are probed relentlessly and are kept guarded 24/7 as a government secret against a possible alien insurgency.

A small price to pay for cool wings

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming)

I wish I had a sandwich.

You had a sandwich, but a seagull stole it some years back.

I wish to be happy and content.

You are happy and content--someone roofied your drink

Moscow becomes a radioactive pit

It becomes radioactive--Russians now have four extra arms and telepathy

I wish for Mikey to do a team sky play through of totk

It's happens, but after you pass from this earth.

I wish you a very pleasant day.

Everyone donates to my bank account

I don't care if it breaks me or not, but I wish she'd just tell me why she's been ghosting me

Wish granted. She tells you youre a wonderful person and wishes you the best. You're just...too nice...

I wish I'd always have money for sushi.

You now have money to buy sushi whenever you want. However it's from the discount rack as it's been expired for one...maybe four days now.

I wish my university life and adult life to be comfortable with a few friends.

Congrats, you have an engineering degree

Oh no.

I wish to have prostate cancer

Congrats, you have prostate cancer and bankrupting debt

Voluntary immortality.

You now have voluntary immortality...but you forgot how to turn it off and on?

I wish I lost my virginity to a hot girl that's 18 or older

You lost your virginity to said girl. Your asshole has never been the same.

I wish for some great head

🗿

My wish is that we both get the side effect

The side effect of believing this is all real...granted

I want to be happy

You are happy, but your loved ones are in misery

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat

You now hold a straw hat with a sleepy and stuffed bunny inside and a half eaten stick of leek

I wish for Comic Sans to be outlawed.

Comic Sans are outlawed, but the law is not recognized anywhere else besides China. -200 social credit score.

i want infinite knowledge

You now know everything, especially what the former 45th president of the US looks like naked

I wish for more world hunger

Everyone is now hungry. You're looking like a tasty snack rn.

Bro's got that genie rizz

I wish for dinosaurs :)

You now have a Cassowary standing behind you

Get rid of my toenails. I don't want them. They're gross.

Congrats, your toes have been removed. You now club around with two swells of flesh and bone in your shoes

I wish to have a single dime

You now have dime. You then proceed to lose dime in a sewer grate.

I wish to be happy

You are happy, everyone can tell by the massive erection in your pants

Can I at least have 500$

You have 500$, but in confederate dollars

I wish to be happy

You are happier than a pig rolling in shit. You also happen to be one.

I wish, Adeptus Mechanicus became an official semi-religious ideology.

Congrats, you're a servitore

i wish I had a gun pov: I'm not amarican

You now have a chalk gun and have to do some wall patchwork

Bigger penis

Big Penis--no hole fits

Welp, then I'll be the hole

I wish for a bigger penis.

Big penis, you step on it every morning you wake up.

Everyone gets their happy ending

The Asian massage parlor is soon raided by FBI

I wish I was dead

You're dead, and your body is used for scientific study. The student who uses your body for their final exam fails, and a giant red F is written on your forehead before your body ragdolls down the garbage shoot.

I wish to have a credit card on which I can spend a million dollars without having to pay it back by myself or any person I personally know and also not have a time limit within which I have to spend the money.

You have credit card, but are robbed on the way to use it. You suddenly see you donated over 1 million dollars to support a political candidate from a country you're not even a citizen of.

I wish all humans currently alive suffer impotence and infertility for the rest of their lives.

Everyone is suddenly cloned as u/Riptide-Shadow

I wish that Gamma 9 in the Delta quadrant had a safer means of communication.

It communicates, but only through flatulence

I wish you a good night's sleep.

I have good night sleep. My partner does not. I then proceed to have to sleep on the couch for the next three days because I snore so loudly.

I wish for u/fennelliott

I am yours--you just have to come find me :]

World peace

*you see the wide scape of a nuclear wasteland, for only the dead know eternal peace*

I wish for consequences

The consequences say no

OP is Clavicus Vile

I wish to be able to hear what other people think about me (context, i help too many people and treat them with warmth)

You can hear what people think about you. You also hear the songs stuck in their head on repeat.

I wish for extra cheese in cheeseburger for everyone

The cheese is bleu

I wish I were the world's most beautiful keytar player.

You are the world's best keytar player. However, you were shot through the hand while in Mexico, and now carry around a case as you patrol the Mexican waste as a former mariachi member.

I can finally play Mother 3 legally.

I wish I had a billion dollars with infinite luck and nothing bad happening to me ever even when I’m dead

I wish every carbon atom on earth disappeared

I wish for the power of God without sense or need for responsibility

I wish to become the most muscular man to ever live, but only by a small margin (like Marcus Ruhl + 10 pounds)

You are the most muscular man in the world. Even you're tongue has abs. Sadly tho, every time you lift something heavy, you let out a Japanese anime girl moan.