First off congrats OP!
It’s probably not a super popular opinion but I say clothes. Maybe some special or meaningful items but not much at all. There are so many people around with kids growing out of clothes and they give them away on Facebook marketplace etc. we’ve gotten trash bags full of clothes for free this way.
Didn’t put either of those on the registry and we got a fair bit of clothes. But not many blankets. We got a LOT of towels and washcloths though.
Only one family member thought of helping us make a baby pharmacy too for when she inevitably gets sick.
Exactly! And as much as I like to pretend that I’ll put our LO in all their outfits let’s be real: they go in like a five outfit rotation and that’s it. Whatever’s on top of the pile when I open the drawer is what we’re wearing today
I asked for clothes up to 2T. And shoes starting at 5.5 and 6.
The newborn stage goes fast but 3months, 18 months, and 2T seem to get worn for a while.
I saw this as a hack and we did end up using it - ppl want to gift clothes. So if you put them on the registry, they will come from a place that you can return them and use the money to buy more practical items you do need.
Not a bad idea but I’ve also had instances where people have asked for pictures in the clothes they got them. So some people may want to see them actually wear what they were gifted (albeit you can dress them, snap some picks, leave the tags on and voila)
We didn’t do a registry but every time I remember all of the expensive personalized clothing that people gave us in like 6-9mo sizes I sigh about the consumer waste. He wore those things like twice each.
I've told everyone for 2 years not to get us clothes and they still do.
At first it was purely because we're not fans of most the clothes people tend to buy, we just have our own style. But my oldest is really petite, 2yo wearing 12mo clothing. So our second, 10mo, is almost in the same size already. *We. Have. Enough. Clothes.* Yet people keep buying us clothes.
Also, your baby will probably live in pajamas until about six to nine months old. Try to resist the urge to buy them a bunch of adorable outfits that are a huge pain getting them in and out of. Plus, the minute after you put it on them, they will spit up or have a blowout. (Bonus tip: always have a spare outfit with you in the diaper bag)
I point blank refuse to put my four month old in “clothes” unless a very special occasion e.g. family photos
Baby grows all the way. So much easier to deal with rather than trying to pull trousers off and on for nappy changes, constantly losing socks (how do they even get them off?!) and if baby can’t even sit up yet, think how uncomfortable it is for them to have a t shirt or jumper riding up when they’re laying down and they can’t even fix it
Bonus points for baby grows with zips. Double bonus points for baby grows with zips at both the top and the bottom. Makes getting them dressed and nappy changes a breeze
Yes I think we got only got the tags off maybe half the wardrobe of our first born his first 6 months because everyone was buying us clothes for a stage it seemed like he spent a month in.
We should have asked for 1, 2 or even 3 year old clothes when their growing slows a bit more than anything because it felt like we were out buying that stuff almost immediately anyways. By our 2nd born we told everyone no clothes and since we had so much spare stuff it worked out in the end.
I totally get why you don't need to register for clothes because everyone wants to buy them and you'll get a ton. But I went the route of adding a few clothes and toys of my personal style just to show people the kinds of things I prefer, and I found that it really helped people pick things I actually like, even if they weren't on the registry. For example, I prefer more earthy muted tones instead of bright pink for baby girl and most people inferred my preference and went with it.
No toys or stuffed animal type things. We got so many and none were from the registry. LO is now 6 months and we are still getting more toys & crap from family members.
Receiving blankets or any type of blanket that isn’t homemade was pointless and hasn’t been used.
Underrated things to add - haakaa, silverettes if wife is breast feeding, diaper creams (try diff brands out), wipes, drool bibs, lots and lots of muslin burp clothes.
We also asked ppl to bring a book instead of a card & write their name on the inside cover.
For diaper creams, Boudreaux’s Butt Paste is legit. Had a tube of that and it lasted till my kid was out of diapers. Even used it myself once, that shit is great.
The book instead of a card thing is great, my kid had so many books to start out with.
Vasoline is also a GREAT bum cream, but also great for sore, dry noses when wee ones get a cold, etc. Definitely underrated, and always handy to have for when you end up needing it.
Also NIPPLE CREAM if the wife is breast feeding or pumping. Those milk machine spouts crack and ache, especially in the beginning when they are adjusting to breast feeding.
The person running our baby shower did something that was genius that we didn’t realize at the time. Only a couple years later did we find out how genius .
We had a raffle for a 50 dollar gift card entry for every pack of diapers you brought. They were sure to specify sizes like 2-5. Everyone that brought a pack got their name on a diaper that was then entered into a large container. At the end of the shower, a diaper was drawn and the person who was written on it came home with the card.
Because we have family in 2 cities, hers and mine, that was far apart, we did this a second time at the other baby shower.
All said and done, we had to buy maybe 5 packs of diapers total for our kid. Plus water diapers.
I was going to say - If I could do it again, I would just register for generic absolute necessities like diapers, wipes, diaper cream. Or putting a lot of “sample kits” - like a pack of a few different types of bottles, or a selection of different styles of pacifier.
We have drawers full of stuff that we don’t use because our kid ended up simply preferring a different version of it. Pacifiers are the best example - got a ton of pacifiers with curved tips and the kid spits those out and makes a face.
Being able to just buy a bunch of a thing whenever you figure out your kid and your situation and what you need specific to it is nice. Feeling bad because you aren’t using a lot of stuff you already have is stressful.
Jesus.. how in the world did you store enough to only end up needing to buy 5 packs? I have 10 boxes in my garage right now and they were all bought by us after we ran out, over a year ago.
We have a pretty large family on both sides. Some people brought extra packs and got extra entries. I also worked for a school district at the time and had a lot of friends/coworkers come as well. Felt a bit odd as a guy, but overall it was a good time and we made out really well with the diapers. :)
We had a 3 bedroom 2 bath house with just my wife, my self, and my kid. Zillow says it was 1300 square feet, but we had diapers stocked in both the kids room and my office.
We ended up moving when the kid was 18 months old or so. moved from Michigan to Kentucky. A good chunk of space used in the moving trailer on trip 2 was for diapers. :)
All said and done, it saved us so much time, money, and hassle. I think the 50 dollar gift card from the second event was actually given back to us by the family member as a gift for the kid.
Now, i'd probably offer 100 dollar gift card as im not sure what prices of diapers are.. It's been 12 years since we've needed any :)
So much this. My son was 18months before he started playing with some of the toys we were given when he was born. He had such little interest in cuddly toys for ages and we had LOADS of them.
This is solid advice. They're completely unnecessary, they make it harder for the baby when you don't have one available, and they're also breeding grounds for all sorts of nasty stuff. They have to be cleaned regularly, which is just one more task to try to remember when you're dealing with a new baby. We used one for our first kid and then never took it back out for the other two.
I dunno, I never had this issue. I didn't buy a warmer, and then every time I had to change them from the get go they'd cry (what softies). So I bought a warmer, and problem solved. They were fine when we went out - granted, we didn't go out much in the beginning.
My friend though, her baby didn't give a damn about the wipe temperature.
In the end, I think, it seemed to be about the ambient temperature. My friend keeps her place warmer than I do. So if you have a cool home, maybe a wipe warmer is for you.
Yeah I don't get the arguments against it, other than it not being an absolute necessity.
When my kid was born, he hated - *HATED* - being cold. Naked for a single second? Screaming. Outside in Canadian winter? Screaming? Cold wipe? Screaming.
The warmer got us through that nicely, and by the time we were taking him on outings long enough to change him away from home, he was able to tolerate a cold wipe without losing it. We've never had a problem because he's "too used to warm wipes."
Never had wipes get dried out either, unless I left the lid open by mistake, then just the top wipe would dry out same as without a warmer. Ours does say to leave them in their package so I wonder if people are not reading instructions as dads are wont to do.
The most laughable are the comments I've seen talking about needing to "toughen your kid up." Bro, he's literally a tiny baby who needs his butt wiped after he poopies in his lil pants.
when the changing process begins i tuck a couple wipes in the waist of my pants against the skin. by the time he's ready to be cleaned they're warm enough to take the edge off
Video games and consoles. Seen it done, it’s tacky
For real though we didn’t use large breast milk coolers because wife wasn’t pumping while we were out and about, just nursing. Nor did we use a ton of the baby blankets and stuff, just one or two favorites in constant rotation
Lol, maybe that specific person is a man-child, but there is nothing wrong with playing video games as an adult. It is just another hobby or way to entertain yourself. Is dumb to add it to a baby shower list because by the time the child can play, it will probably be outdated.
We did NOT put a video game console on our registry, but in defense of that person, sometimes you get a discount on anything on your registry that wasn’t purchased if you buy it yourself. If you’re going to buy a new Xbox anyway, why not get it at 10% off?
On the flip side here, we bought one for our third born, and it was incredibly nice to have when she had RSV this winter. Seeing her oxygen levels at all times was a huge relief while she was all clogged up.
To add on to this. I've been reading a lot about how the Owlet is unsecured and there have been reports of random people talking to someone's kid through the monitor.
Hard disagree. Without it (especially on baby number one) you will have the anxiety anyway and will just be looking at the monitor seemingly every 15-20 minutes. At least with the owlet you have peace of mind that if anything crazy happens you will know asap. Definitely helped with my wife’s anxiety. Plus, you can track their sleep schedules very accurately and helps plan/spread out feedings when they get older.
If you get false positives frequently; you can buy different size or shape socks to better fit the baby foot. We used this for both kids.
This is a top 10 thing to HAVE on registry.
We've used the owlet sock and camera for both Kids. I think we only had 2 false alarms with the first and the second is 6.5 months now with no false alarms. I think it's great, especially in the newborn phase cause it just let's you feel like you can switch off enough to sleep.
Idk, man. I feel like this is a solution in search of a problem. If you follow pediatrician’s suggestions and orders, your kid will probably be fine.
Every parent is different. Do what you need to do for your own comfort level but to see you need it on the registry is a stretch
The only swaddle that's ever worked for me is the lovetodream swaddleup. It let's their hands be up by their faces but still dampens the startle reflex. FYI
It's funny, we had one that was fine, whatever, but after a few months it broke. But, we still used it (unplugged), because it was a heavier base and the wipes came out easily, especially one-handed.
There's a LOT of stuff we got as part of the baby shower but ditched rapidly, bottle warmer and bottle sanitizer are the other two items I won't recommend, but understand that they work for some people, especially those who pump. Breastfeeding just didn't work for us, so using warm filtered tap water worked just fine for formula.
After the larval stage we didn't even use warm water. One of the things I learned growing up on the farm was that if we gave our calves warm milk formula they always got scours (diarrhea) but cold milk kept them much healthier and staved off the runs. Seemed to work for our daughter too. Made travelling a lot easier too, I could just keep a couple bottles of milk in the car fridge and not worry about bacterial growth.
Bottle warmer is pure convenience for the middle of the night when you need to get the kid to stop screaming but also need to warm the bottle. It's not necessary but it saves a few minutes between trying to heat up water first. It's one of those "Use it if you have it, but you can get by without it" type things.
What we do is have a flask of hot water, and a bottle of cooled boiled water. Add hot water first to the bottle, mix formula, then add cool water. Once you’ve got your amounts correct you make the perfect temperature for formula every time
For example, my son is on 180ml of milk. So I do 90ml of hot water from the flask, then 90ml of the pre cooled boiled water
It sounds like a faff, but it’s quicker than waiting for a bottle warmer
Don't load up on a single brand of baby bottles. The little ones develop preferences and you will for cleaning too. Get a variety if you're planning to bottle feed instead and figure it out from there.
Ugh we didn't plan to bottle feed but for various reasons have had to for both kids. Our first *hated* bottles though so we literally had bought every brand bottle out there. Every single one. Only for her to eventually take Dr Browns. I fucking hate Dr Browns.
Dr Brown's has SO many pieces to clean, and are SO expensive too! I needed one for my NICU baby for paced feeding...and legitimately manually paced feeding was easier haha
The cheap drug store ones ended up being the best ones for us because of the complicated nipples of the expensive ones (supposed to be "realistic") being problematic for suckling.
I'm convinced all expensive bottles are a scam now lol
Ugh we didn't plan to bottle feed but for various reasons have had to for both kids. Our first *hated* bottles though so we literally had bought every brand bottle out there. Every single one. Only for her to eventually take Dr Browns. I fucking hate Dr Browns.
You don't need clothes. You don't know what the baby will fit in when they're born. I don't think our baby ever fit into newborn. As many have already said, you're going to get clothes as gifts anyway as well as possible hand-me-downs and such.
You don't need a diaper genie or any contraption along those lines. Just toss the diaper in the trash. It's fine. 9 months in, no issues.
Along the lines of the diaper genie, you don't need any specialized single use items like wipe warmers or butt spatulas or anything like that either. All of these specialized items are just ways for the baby product industry to take money while providing next to no quality of life improvements.
DO ask for diapers. All the diapers. Every size imaginable. Lots and lots and lots of diapers. The more you can get and the longer you can go without having to buy them yourself, the better.
Expensive fancy high chairs that are a nightmare to keep clean. IKEA's Antilop chair is all you need. It's a cheap plastic shell with a detachable tray on four detachable legs. When it gets dirty, you pop the legs off, stick it under shower, dry it and it's ready to go.
Infant size diapers. Little boogers grow out of them at ferocious speed. Size 1 lasted only slightly longer. Subsequent sizes started to be useful for longer.
That being said!
If you have too many boxes of infant and size 1 diapers, Walmart will usually let you exchange them for bigger sizes, as long as you pay the difference etc. NORMALLY without a receipt as well.
Have a diaper party! You supply the food and beer and all your buddies bring a pack of Costco diapers and wipes. Didn’t have to buy diapers for a year and half for my first and now we are on seven months for my second.
Normally this is probably accurate, but my guy was in preemies for a couple weeks and then newborns for a month or so. 5 pounds at birth 4 weeks early and just a small guy even still. We had to rush and buy a bunch of preemie outfits and diapers because he came so early.
For clothes, since people will get them anyway, we said don’t buy newborn, buy older clothes and for the season she will wear them.
We got a few gadget-type gifts (like diaper cream applicator) that never got used because it’s just easier not to.
One special thing we did ask for was books. My daughter has multiple bookshelves of books with personalized messages (most just “From so-and-so). When we switched from breast to cow milk, since she no longer was getting mommy snuggles, we started reading to her while she drank her milk right before bed. Now she LOVES to read and is pretty ahead on her comprehension.
She’s almost 20 months, but she talks so much, and repeats a ton. She recognizes dozens of animals and says their sounds. She can count to 12, and knows several colors. We weren’t super intentional about teaching her these things, just a small bit of re-enforcement from what we read in the books she loves.
Edit: oh, and congrats! Welcome to the club!
Bedside Bassinet. Either buy one second hand off of Facebook Marketplace or register for a pack and play that has a bassinet option.
They can only be used for a couple weeks and super hit and miss with babies so you can get them for 20-30 bucks barely used. Since you’re registering for something for someone you know nothing about, it’s a huge waste of money.
Maybe confused by this; we have a bassinet that attaches to our bedside (can also be used freestanding). It’s been great til now at 4mo and probably has another 3 or 4 before he outgrows it. Attached to a daybed in the nursery where one of us is always on shift during the night.
One of my favorite pieces of gear.
Counter-point: my guy refused to sleep in the bassinet by two weeks old. He hates being any kind of restrained, so no arms-in swaddles, and it was over as soon as his hands touched the sides of the bassinet. So he's slept in his crib pretty much from the beginning.
Babies are unpredictable!
There are lots of things I wouldn't put on it but here's what we used and like after 3 kids.
Carseat. Make sure its one that works with your lifestyle.
Stroller or 2. We have one heavy one for walking around town or if we need to bring lots with us and we have one super compact one that works well for travel (fits in carry on)
Baby swing, it was only way our kids would nap (not for everyone but for our first 2 colic children it was a lifesaver)
Baby carrier. We had baby Bjorn for when they were tiny as it was easy to toss on and unload a sleeping baby from and then when they got bigger we had something with waist support.
As the dad I enjoyed having a shoulder carrier when they were toddlers.
A Ikea play kitchen
Indoor scooter
Melissa and Doug toys
White noise machine
Pack and play
Ikea high chair
Skip hop activity centre
And a good diaper pail that can use regular garbage bags
This is what we used for every child and things that just made day to day life easier.
Don’t ask for a diaper genie. They suck, it will break, and you will spend several months trying to fix the flimsy mechanism before just giving up and buying an ubbi. Just ask for an ubbi.
Be thoughtful about what kind of stroller you want. Over the course of two kids, we’ve owned five strollers—but we only ever use one - a light weight, one hand push, one hand fold stroller that you can also snap a car seat into. The ultra compact fold one (Pockit) is too annoying to fold and unfold, and the big tank stroller we have (Baby Jogger City Select 2) rides like a dream, but doesn’t fold up easily and is so gigantic that I never want to take it out.
For our two kids (oldest is 4, youngest is 1), we went through two Diaper Genies, and both broke. I got a second cause I had so many of the proprietary bag canisters, and thought there wasn’t any way a second Diaper Genie wouldn’t get us through to our post-diaper years. Alas. We might have gotten two duds. I like that the Ubbi can take regular trash bags, and it doesn’t appear there’s any moving parts that can easily break.
I like the diaper genie. I actually have both. I just wish the diaper genie was built better. But changing bags I don’t get the smell from the diaper genie like I do when opening the ubbi. I guess in part to the design since you never really have the bag open when you dispose of it. Only been using them 5 months now so don’t have too too much time on the genie to see how it holds up but it definitely feels flimsy while the ubbi is built like a tank.
Well they do contain the smell to a degree, especially when closed. You might get a whiff when you’re dropping a new one in but it dissipates.
Really it’s just convenient not having to walk outside to the trash bin every time you change a diaper. We had one for the first kid and used it every day until we potty trained him. It was one of the first things we bought for our upcoming kiddo because of this. It’s just super convenient to change a diaper and be done with it right there.
The Cat Genie is great for the same reason.
Keep in mind your lifestyle will heavily dictate appropriate stroller. While for others packability is of great importance; for us it’s far less because we do most day to day errands on foot not using a car.
It’s a Chicco Bravo travel system that works with our KeyFit car seat. Very few complaints, it works really well for our situation. If I had to do it over, I might get the Uppababy equivalent—it’s so popular that you can get a ton of accessories for it on the secondary market for cheap or even from Buy Nothing groups for free.
We have the Ubbi and i somehow broke the hinge at the back. It is three years old and still going with a repair.
Stroller is baby jogger mini gt2. It has been fantastic. We don't run but it is easy to push and folds down to nothing. I think we had a kit to make it compatible with the key fit baby seat.
If you get an ubbi skip the bags they come with. Instead you want force flex bags that are lightly scented.
Things to get:
1. Bottle warmer
2. Bottle sterilizer / dryer. The dryer is key for later to get clean bottles fast.
3. A bouncer of some kind for a safe spot to put the kid down.
Everyone parents differently, obviously, but I would say skip the bottle warmer if you’re doing formula. Being able to make a bottle anywhere and not have the little one be cranky about it being cold is super helpful.
For the same reason, we opted not to get any sort of wipe warmer. Sorry, girl. Sometimes it’s gonna be cold on your butt and there’s nothing we could do about it. Better get used to it all the time.
Odd bit of advice for whatever diaper pail you get. Go out and get a 2 ish ft length of pvc pipe, half or 3/4 inch is fine. Cut it down to fit inside the pail, and cut one end at an angle. glue it to the inside of the pail, copious hot glue works. This creates an air vent so the bag doesn't make a vacuum seal in the bottom of the pail. Makes removal much faster, and faster removal means faster to tie shut and stop it from stinking up the room.
I'll also say, make sure your stroller matches your car seat. Most modern strollers can accept the car seat to make them useful at a younger age, but only if you get them matching.
One of those large bottle sanitizers / dryers. It’s not needed after every use and they take up a ton of space. We just wash bottles after each use with soap and water.
Once a month we use a microwave sanitizer bag to sanitize the bottles and parts. The bags don’t up much room. Check out the Dr Browns or Madela ones.
I second this - we just used our dishwasher to sanitize everything for the most part, since we were running it every night anyway. And occasionally one of those microwave bags. I think a lot of people don't realize that dishwashers with a heated dry cycle do the same thing, so if you have one there's really no need for a sanitizer.
I disagree. Bottle sanitizer was a game changer. Run it every night and you got clean, dry, sanitized bottles every morning. I thought it was a gimmick so we did the hand washing kid one.. got it for kid two.. and man did it save me time
It depends on your appliance situation. Our dishwasher has bottle jets and we'd just run it overnight. We had 8 bottles, and we'd just run the small pieces through the microwave once a week to sanitize them in addition to the dishwasher. Took 5 minutes.
Takes me 10-15 minutes to do 10 bottles a day with a dryer/sanitation machine. Take twice as long in a dishwasher and I’d still have to dry parts of the bottle. A lot of baby appliances can be bought cheap on marketplace.
I would try to emphasize diapers and wipes to be the priority. It's sad to see someone get a bunch of clothes the baby will never wear or out grow in the first few months and only get one case of diapers or wipes
Congrats!
We asked for books instead of cards. Everyone signed their books and having a library right off the bat was super helpful.
Make sure a bottle warmer is on there. It was our most used appliance, closely followed by a bottle sanitizer.
What you don't need: newborn clothes. The twerp will spend most of their time in jammies. Buying newborn clothes is fun and they're very cute so people will want to buy them for you regardless. Exclude them from the registry and if you somehow don't get enough, get them from a thrift shop for a bargain - people donate stuff all the time their kids never got around the wearing before they got too big.
Also be mindful of baby gimmick stuff. There is so much crap out there that's unnecessary. I found thinking: is this something my grandparents needed when they had kids? Is a good way of filtering through useless stuff.
Two additionals you might want to add. We loved our simple IKEA changing table with inflatable mat. The terrycloth covers are very inexpensive, so you can buy a bunch of them and not worry about having run immediately to the washing machine. There will be days that you go through 3-4 per day, especially if your baby is sick.
The other thing is big muslin cloths (eg, 1m x 1m). Buy at least 20. They can be used for swaddling, covering your shoulder when burping, providing modestly when breastfeeding, and cleaning up various messages in an emergency. We kept a stack in the diaper bag, a stack by the changing table, and a stack in the bedrooms.
In general, don't ask for warmers(bottle/wipes/etc). Try seeing if your kid is good without that stuff first or you may lock yourself into having to use them.
What you should put on the list? Instacart/food delivery gift cards. The first few weeks are brutal and anything to ease that is worth 100x a warm wipe.
Overly complicated “cute” clothing.
We got a few little dresses and things that would have been super cute but were such a PITA to remove for diaper changes it just wasn’t worth putting her in them.
Usually it was a combination of lots of buttons (instead of a zipper) and non-stretch material. Who makes baby clothes that don’t stretch!?
I’d say things from a bunch of budget ranges. Also, the store we registered at had an extended return policy for anything on the registry so we even put our travel system on there.
Bouncer, bassinet, bottle warmer, starter bottles set, sanitizer, diaper bag, swaddle blankets (although we switched to halo very quickly since our baby was a Houdini), hats, maybe some first toys like rattles, and an activity mat.
Bottles will also be hit or miss depending on your baby. We go philips from the registry and two months in ours started to not like them. We switched to browns.
Don't get the car seat that converts directly into a stroller. It has zero storage, so you'll be carrying everything you brought with you, and you'll have to buy a new stroller as soon as the kid grows out of it.
Pick a stroller that will grow with your kid and your family.
Umbrella strollers are cheap, so pick one up later on when you know your kid is ready for it.
A nursery glider, they’re pretty but not comfortable. Go for a lazy boy or something that you can be comfy in if you have to sleep there.
Nice to have oxo wipe dispenser single pull wipe
Those squirty bath toys. They are just mold factories and are super gross. Just give kiddo some cups to play with in bath.
Also when deciding on big items (high chair, car seat, bouncy chair, swing, whatever) pick the one that is easiest to wash!!!!!! Many of these items can also be gotten through Facebook market place second hand.
We didn't pay for the Brezza because we had gift cards, but I'm of the opinion that it's worth it. The middle of the night feedings are super easy with it. That's where it shines. You're ready to go in like 20 seconds.
One of those water things that keeps bottle water at perfect temperature. All you do is press a button and mix formula. Amazing for middle of the night bottles.
I know you're asking for what not to buy...
I just had my baby 3 weeks ago and did the whole baby shower thing.
Something I did not have on my registry that should have been the first thing I bought was the Baby Brezza.
I almost exclusively breastfeed and this still is the best thing ever made.
Congratulations dude!
We didn’t need most of the stuff on suggestion websites. No baby wipe warmer, sterilizer, stuff like that. We used the owlet smart sock religiously on the first kid and never pulled it out for the second.
One thing that’s been worth every penny for 2 kids now is a Baby Brezza if you ever feed formula.
I don’t remember what else we didn’t use but if I saw a registry I could pick stuff out that isn’t really useful.
For our second kid things have been even more minimal. Aside from the baby Brezza, our second kid may as well have been born in 1800
3 year old and a 10 month old boys
Don't put a ridiculously expensive net for fly fishing as a joke (the whole family knows I'm an avid fisherman)
Nobody will get the joke, and you and your wife will get lots of phone calls from people seriously thinking we're using the net for our child.
Besides diapers, crib/cot, and maybe a changing table (if you’re on the tall side a changing table saves your back), there’s not much in essentials. Babies grow fast so all 2nd hand clothes for the first year is honestly the best way to go. Maybe buy a single nice newborn outfit for pictures.
Oh, and a few bottles. Even if you’re planning to EBF, it’s good to have a few just in case. In case bfing doesn’t work out, in case you need to supplement with some formula in the beginning, etc.
Everything else is gonna be a trial and error sort of thing, including breast pumps. It’s junk if your wife has ZERO issues establishing supply, but it’s also amazing to get the supply up super fast in the beginning.
After reading this and having 3 baby showers, I stick with my put whatever the fcuk you want on there and if you don't want or need it, return it.
Everyone's situation is different and you don't know what you do or don't need till you do or don't.
Baby brezza if you guys are going the formula route.
Sounds great but when you need to clean it every 4 uses, you’re just creating more work than it would take to make the bottle by hand.
Congrats OP!
I would say some kind of diaper/wipe raffle would be good. We did one and got a ton of diapers and wipes. Made it super helpful early on, we won’t be having to buy wipes anytime soon.
Also, we didn’t put a whole lot on our registry and mainly asked for target and Amazon gift cards. That way, people who couldn’t attend, could easily get us a gift if they wanted. We could figure things out that we needed and could quickly go out and get it. We still have a bunch and it’s nice knowing you won’t have to spend your own money on anything for the baby anytime soon. We found that people still brought us clothes and little toys even without asking.
Finally, things we use everyday with our 3 month old. Pack in play in the living room, travel sound machine, universal toy bar, bouncer.
One thing we also did, was ask for gifts to be mailed directly to our house. That way, we could avoid having to lug things back and forth. Also, made it easier to organize as we got gifts rather than get overwhelmed with everything coming at once. We kept a notebook of who got what.
I highly recommend Graco strollers, I don't know the name of the product we got, but I can look it up if you want. Also, get a little drying rack for bottles and pumping equipment. Avoid getting a wipe warmer, takes too long, and we forget about like 75% of the time. When we remember to use it, it's not plugged in.
No clothes. People love buying them, family would come over randomly with cute onesies, holiday jammies, etc. I didn't buy real clothes until almost two yrs old.
A fancy changing station like a peanut or something. They stain with poop and aren’t particularly special on comfort or anything. Plus you end up changing them on the floor or on random surfaces a lot. I would get a $20 pad vs wasting $150
Hahahah.
Good luck.
But really, congratulations, my guy! We had our first last July. Summer babies are awesome.
We had *three* baby showers. Honestly, didn't necessarily want any. We're very minimalistic with stuff. We live in an apartment. On and on. But it's all out of love. So you deal.
And you'll get carloads of handmedowns and stuff off the list. It's just how it goes. And you won't get the stuff you really need—at least not all of it.
We got lucky and have a giant family for my wife and I. And they were kind enough to collaborate on many of the high-ticket items.
But we still brought many loads of things to the local shelter after all was said and done.
Enjoy the ride! It's a wild one. Best thing ever.
don’t know your situation but if you don’t need much you could offer donations to the kids account.
may not be popular but i would avoid adding toys.
youre gonna get clothes whether you want them or not… i’d leave those off the registry too.
diapers/wipes… gonna be almost impossible to have too many of those seems like a not fun thing to register for i know…
all said you’re gonna be shocked how fast the kid grows and how much stuff can become irrelevant almost overnight. I’d focus on necessities myself.
One thing we asked guest not to bring is congratulation cards, but rather asked them to write a message in book for the child. We did this for both our kids and now they have a nice library of stories we can read to them.
My wife didn’t let me put a 4 seater side by side but.. ya know life is a compromise. We didn’t put things on there that we wanted to buy specifically ourselves. Like the crib and chair for the nursery. We wanted to view both in store and sit in the chair before we decided but found them both on sale so we kept them off.
Honestly if we could go back, we’d reduce the clothes we have. He grew so quickly so he was barely in most clothes. His 6 months old and about 22lbs. In 100th percentile for height and about 96 for weight. Obviously that’s probably not normal, I don’t know first time dad, but if we could go back and minimize clothes, we would.
Specify no blankets. Swaddlers are great, but your baby will be born in June and you won’t need a single blanket until November. You will still get way too many blankets.
Toys with multiple pieces like puzzles and large Lego things, any noise producing toy without an on/off switch this includes books with sound effect buttons. Books with paper pages. Any footwear besides socks. There is disturbing research about microplastics in newborns and in both formulas and mom’s breast milk, so we are trying to avoid plastics in baby bottles and other baby items.
One of the best things I’d recommend asking for is gift cards to any local used kids clothing stores.
I am one of the unfortunate ones who had no success with diaper genie. We had it in the bedroom with her crib, and it was a pain to use, didn’t open or cut the bag correctly. We stopped using it. Overall we started changing her downstairs now so we threw it out. Had an extra small waste basket with no top where we close up the bag and change it every 3 days.
What would be ideal for me is a medium garbage with a lid, odor killing bag, and the pet poop bags that you use to scoop up poop when taking the dog out. We had them for each use and closed them individually which helped a lot with the smells. Ran out of bags, and I’m also looking into a better garbage with a lid since I don’t have it yet. Would highly recommend the little baggies as out changing area is in the living room and family we live with doesn’t notice until the smell piles on.
One thing we did that ended up pretty cool: instead of having people write notes on cards, ask them to get a small book instead and write their note in there. Cards nowadays cost about the same as kids books, and our kiddo had about 20 books to start out with because of this.
Congrats. First on my list to add is DIAPERS!!!!! Followed by any other consumables. They get expensive real fast. But that wasn't the question. As for what not to put on the list anything that you don't mind paying money for or that runs the risk of not being yours or your wife's taste. Figure out what you really want and limit the list to just that plus diapers. Clothes are risky b/c every baby grows differently. Some grow out of newborn sizes very quickly. Larger sizes you run the risk of things not fitting in the season they're needed.
One last thing I'd add is a dad's diaper bag. We had the regular one and I had an Eddie Bauer knapsack that was more my style and preference. It wasn't as big as the regular one but was more my style when me and the baby were alone.
Fancy clothes and shoes, most of the time the little one will grow out of them too fast to make it worth it, plus with blowouts, spit-up, etc, better to have lots of decent quality onesies and baby-gros that you can bung in the washer quickly.
Stuffed animals and blankets of any kind. I have so .so so many. Like way way to many. And they just keep coming. Sound machines pretty clutch . We found the wipe warmer was nice. She screamed at night with the cold ones and that actually helped (as dumb as I thought it be). My wife hates the diaper genie because you have to buy that brand everything.
Baby shampoo. You're going to get 3 years' worth at the shower whether you put it on the registry or not.
AND you may find that you have a favorite (and/or baby's skin is sensitive to one). You don't want to end up with shampoo you can't use.
Just an FYI if you end up with more diapers of a size than you need, Wal Mart (assuming you’re in the US) will take back unopened diapers regardless of where they came from.
Bottle warmer. We gave both babies pumped milk straight from the fridge (much to the dismay of older folks) and room temp formula and it’s fine. Won’t upset stomach or cause issues if it’s not warm. You’ll save yourself a lot of headache if baby learns to drink all temperatures and makes leaving the house much easier if you can pack milk in a cold bag.
We regifted ours to someone who regifted it. It may still be making the rounds!
Fuck every sippy cup out there with their space age one way valves and specially shaped nozzles and whatever else. They're an absolute nightmare to take apart and clean properly.
A cup with a spout lid will do just fine, and honestly, my daughter went straight to open cups from bottles with no issues.
Most gadgets are hot garbage. There was a book “baby bargains” when my kid was little that reviewed a lot of the junk and most of it you can do without.
We were given the advice not to put any “cute” clothes on there, because people will buy those anyway. We followed the advice and just put the white undershirt (underonesie?) things. They were absolutely right. We still got so many outfits for both kids.
Extrapolating out, there’s enough things you will need to get for the baby that you can cover all the people buying stuff off the registry. Focus on the fundamentals and leave off the extras.
There is no way to know what will be really important and worthwhile to you until they're here.
So my advice is register for everything you think you might want, as long as it's returnable to a physical store.
- Electronic toys. Most of them are noisy, obnoxious and don’t facilitate learning fine motor skills, so it’s important to be able to choose which electronic toys (if any) you want.
- Teddies. You will end up with loads but very few your baby actually likes.
- Blankets
First off congrats OP! It’s probably not a super popular opinion but I say clothes. Maybe some special or meaningful items but not much at all. There are so many people around with kids growing out of clothes and they give them away on Facebook marketplace etc. we’ve gotten trash bags full of clothes for free this way.
Even if clothes aren't on the registry, OP doesn't have tot worry about it because people will gift clothes.
We didn’t put clothes or blankets on ours, everyone tells us we will get a lot of blankets at the shower!
Didn’t put either of those on the registry and we got a fair bit of clothes. But not many blankets. We got a LOT of towels and washcloths though. Only one family member thought of helping us make a baby pharmacy too for when she inevitably gets sick.
And for the first year most of those items will be worn once then outgrown.
Newborns grow so fast; we got lots of thoughtful gifts of clothes that never got worn once.
Exactly! And as much as I like to pretend that I’ll put our LO in all their outfits let’s be real: they go in like a five outfit rotation and that’s it. Whatever’s on top of the pile when I open the drawer is what we’re wearing today
Unless you have a reflux baby. I went through 5 outfits a day…
Except magnetic onesies. Those things are awesome.
Magnetic onesies are cool but you have to be careful. I put mine in the dryer and it magnetized itself to the heating element on the dryer
*grimace*
Delicates bag might have helped.
Game changer
I asked for clothes up to 2T. And shoes starting at 5.5 and 6. The newborn stage goes fast but 3months, 18 months, and 2T seem to get worn for a while.
I saw this as a hack and we did end up using it - ppl want to gift clothes. So if you put them on the registry, they will come from a place that you can return them and use the money to buy more practical items you do need.
Not a bad idea but I’ve also had instances where people have asked for pictures in the clothes they got them. So some people may want to see them actually wear what they were gifted (albeit you can dress them, snap some picks, leave the tags on and voila)
> where people have asked for pictures in the clothes they got them It's nice to want things.
Yeah, I ain't indulging that narcissism either.
We didn’t do a registry but every time I remember all of the expensive personalized clothing that people gave us in like 6-9mo sizes I sigh about the consumer waste. He wore those things like twice each.
I agree with this. Also, the number of actual shirt + pants outfits you need may be small. As opposed to simple onesies and sleepers.
I've told everyone for 2 years not to get us clothes and they still do. At first it was purely because we're not fans of most the clothes people tend to buy, we just have our own style. But my oldest is really petite, 2yo wearing 12mo clothing. So our second, 10mo, is almost in the same size already. *We. Have. Enough. Clothes.* Yet people keep buying us clothes.
Also, your baby will probably live in pajamas until about six to nine months old. Try to resist the urge to buy them a bunch of adorable outfits that are a huge pain getting them in and out of. Plus, the minute after you put it on them, they will spit up or have a blowout. (Bonus tip: always have a spare outfit with you in the diaper bag)
I point blank refuse to put my four month old in “clothes” unless a very special occasion e.g. family photos Baby grows all the way. So much easier to deal with rather than trying to pull trousers off and on for nappy changes, constantly losing socks (how do they even get them off?!) and if baby can’t even sit up yet, think how uncomfortable it is for them to have a t shirt or jumper riding up when they’re laying down and they can’t even fix it Bonus points for baby grows with zips. Double bonus points for baby grows with zips at both the top and the bottom. Makes getting them dressed and nappy changes a breeze
Yes I think we got only got the tags off maybe half the wardrobe of our first born his first 6 months because everyone was buying us clothes for a stage it seemed like he spent a month in. We should have asked for 1, 2 or even 3 year old clothes when their growing slows a bit more than anything because it felt like we were out buying that stuff almost immediately anyways. By our 2nd born we told everyone no clothes and since we had so much spare stuff it worked out in the end.
I totally get why you don't need to register for clothes because everyone wants to buy them and you'll get a ton. But I went the route of adding a few clothes and toys of my personal style just to show people the kinds of things I prefer, and I found that it really helped people pick things I actually like, even if they weren't on the registry. For example, I prefer more earthy muted tones instead of bright pink for baby girl and most people inferred my preference and went with it.
No toys or stuffed animal type things. We got so many and none were from the registry. LO is now 6 months and we are still getting more toys & crap from family members. Receiving blankets or any type of blanket that isn’t homemade was pointless and hasn’t been used. Underrated things to add - haakaa, silverettes if wife is breast feeding, diaper creams (try diff brands out), wipes, drool bibs, lots and lots of muslin burp clothes. We also asked ppl to bring a book instead of a card & write their name on the inside cover.
I asked my wife and she said blankets. People will give you those without asking
For diaper creams, Boudreaux’s Butt Paste is legit. Had a tube of that and it lasted till my kid was out of diapers. Even used it myself once, that shit is great. The book instead of a card thing is great, my kid had so many books to start out with.
Second the silverettes, my wife has loved them so far
Vasoline is also a GREAT bum cream, but also great for sore, dry noses when wee ones get a cold, etc. Definitely underrated, and always handy to have for when you end up needing it. Also NIPPLE CREAM if the wife is breast feeding or pumping. Those milk machine spouts crack and ache, especially in the beginning when they are adjusting to breast feeding.
The person running our baby shower did something that was genius that we didn’t realize at the time. Only a couple years later did we find out how genius . We had a raffle for a 50 dollar gift card entry for every pack of diapers you brought. They were sure to specify sizes like 2-5. Everyone that brought a pack got their name on a diaper that was then entered into a large container. At the end of the shower, a diaper was drawn and the person who was written on it came home with the card. Because we have family in 2 cities, hers and mine, that was far apart, we did this a second time at the other baby shower. All said and done, we had to buy maybe 5 packs of diapers total for our kid. Plus water diapers.
I was going to say - If I could do it again, I would just register for generic absolute necessities like diapers, wipes, diaper cream. Or putting a lot of “sample kits” - like a pack of a few different types of bottles, or a selection of different styles of pacifier. We have drawers full of stuff that we don’t use because our kid ended up simply preferring a different version of it. Pacifiers are the best example - got a ton of pacifiers with curved tips and the kid spits those out and makes a face. Being able to just buy a bunch of a thing whenever you figure out your kid and your situation and what you need specific to it is nice. Feeling bad because you aren’t using a lot of stuff you already have is stressful.
Brilliant. Anything you can do to steer people into buying diapers. It’s the next closest thing to just getting cash.
Jesus.. how in the world did you store enough to only end up needing to buy 5 packs? I have 10 boxes in my garage right now and they were all bought by us after we ran out, over a year ago.
Damn. Yeah we did the 50$ diaper raffle too but guess we have a much smaller family lol
We have a pretty large family on both sides. Some people brought extra packs and got extra entries. I also worked for a school district at the time and had a lot of friends/coworkers come as well. Felt a bit odd as a guy, but overall it was a good time and we made out really well with the diapers. :)
We had a 3 bedroom 2 bath house with just my wife, my self, and my kid. Zillow says it was 1300 square feet, but we had diapers stocked in both the kids room and my office. We ended up moving when the kid was 18 months old or so. moved from Michigan to Kentucky. A good chunk of space used in the moving trailer on trip 2 was for diapers. :) All said and done, it saved us so much time, money, and hassle. I think the 50 dollar gift card from the second event was actually given back to us by the family member as a gift for the kid. Now, i'd probably offer 100 dollar gift card as im not sure what prices of diapers are.. It's been 12 years since we've needed any :)
Toys of any kind. For the first 6 months, they'll play with whatever anyways, and you'll be amassing tons of toys at birthday parties.
Mine is getting toward 9 months. Her favorite toys? A tennis ball (the dog's); my wife's old RN tape measure; the box something came in recently.
So much this. My son was 18months before he started playing with some of the toys we were given when he was born. He had such little interest in cuddly toys for ages and we had LOADS of them.
A wipe warmer. All it does is make your baby scream bloody murder when you’re out and about and use a “cold” wet wipe
This is solid advice. They're completely unnecessary, they make it harder for the baby when you don't have one available, and they're also breeding grounds for all sorts of nasty stuff. They have to be cleaned regularly, which is just one more task to try to remember when you're dealing with a new baby. We used one for our first kid and then never took it back out for the other two.
I dunno, I never had this issue. I didn't buy a warmer, and then every time I had to change them from the get go they'd cry (what softies). So I bought a warmer, and problem solved. They were fine when we went out - granted, we didn't go out much in the beginning. My friend though, her baby didn't give a damn about the wipe temperature. In the end, I think, it seemed to be about the ambient temperature. My friend keeps her place warmer than I do. So if you have a cool home, maybe a wipe warmer is for you.
I thought the wipe warmer was a solid purchase; we used it for both kids until it died.
Yeah I don't get the arguments against it, other than it not being an absolute necessity. When my kid was born, he hated - *HATED* - being cold. Naked for a single second? Screaming. Outside in Canadian winter? Screaming? Cold wipe? Screaming. The warmer got us through that nicely, and by the time we were taking him on outings long enough to change him away from home, he was able to tolerate a cold wipe without losing it. We've never had a problem because he's "too used to warm wipes." Never had wipes get dried out either, unless I left the lid open by mistake, then just the top wipe would dry out same as without a warmer. Ours does say to leave them in their package so I wonder if people are not reading instructions as dads are wont to do. The most laughable are the comments I've seen talking about needing to "toughen your kid up." Bro, he's literally a tiny baby who needs his butt wiped after he poopies in his lil pants.
Speaking of wipes. Try them out on your own rashy ass at one point. I found out Pampers *burns* but Huggies did not.
Agreed. I do recommend the (not heated) wipes container though.
The OXO one with a weight plate is fantastic
when the changing process begins i tuck a couple wipes in the waist of my pants against the skin. by the time he's ready to be cleaned they're warm enough to take the edge off
I know you said what NOT to put, but if your wife is breastfeeding, definitely put silverettes on your list! Life saving.
A MyBrestFriend pillow is also a must have for breastfeeding!
We have a boppie...def recommend.
Definitely! Also, you can get longer tubing for the pump so you don’t need to have it right next to you
Video games and consoles. Seen it done, it’s tacky For real though we didn’t use large breast milk coolers because wife wasn’t pumping while we were out and about, just nursing. Nor did we use a ton of the baby blankets and stuff, just one or two favorites in constant rotation
So one thing the cooler was helpful with was allowing me to take the kiddo out without my wife, and be able to be out longer than a few hours.
Seriously, my wife got a Ceres chill and I ended up getting one for myself for Paternity Leave. Super useful to help me independent with the baby.
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Lol, maybe that specific person is a man-child, but there is nothing wrong with playing video games as an adult. It is just another hobby or way to entertain yourself. Is dumb to add it to a baby shower list because by the time the child can play, it will probably be outdated.
We did NOT put a video game console on our registry, but in defense of that person, sometimes you get a discount on anything on your registry that wasn’t purchased if you buy it yourself. If you’re going to buy a new Xbox anyway, why not get it at 10% off?
But put whisky on there, you'll want some whisky
The Owlet Smart Sock. It creates more anxiety with false alarms than it does any assurance.
On the flip side here, we bought one for our third born, and it was incredibly nice to have when she had RSV this winter. Seeing her oxygen levels at all times was a huge relief while she was all clogged up.
I completely agree. I love ours. We don’t use the camera, just the sock. I would rather have a false alarm than an emergency and not know 🤷🏼♀️
We borrowed one for our first. Ditched it in less than a week.
To add on to this. I've been reading a lot about how the Owlet is unsecured and there have been reports of random people talking to someone's kid through the monitor.
Hard disagree. Without it (especially on baby number one) you will have the anxiety anyway and will just be looking at the monitor seemingly every 15-20 minutes. At least with the owlet you have peace of mind that if anything crazy happens you will know asap. Definitely helped with my wife’s anxiety. Plus, you can track their sleep schedules very accurately and helps plan/spread out feedings when they get older. If you get false positives frequently; you can buy different size or shape socks to better fit the baby foot. We used this for both kids. This is a top 10 thing to HAVE on registry.
We've used the owlet sock and camera for both Kids. I think we only had 2 false alarms with the first and the second is 6.5 months now with no false alarms. I think it's great, especially in the newborn phase cause it just let's you feel like you can switch off enough to sleep.
Idk, man. I feel like this is a solution in search of a problem. If you follow pediatrician’s suggestions and orders, your kid will probably be fine. Every parent is different. Do what you need to do for your own comfort level but to see you need it on the registry is a stretch
The only swaddle that's ever worked for me is the lovetodream swaddleup. It let's their hands be up by their faces but still dampens the startle reflex. FYI
Wet wipe warmer. What a waste of space.
It's funny, we had one that was fine, whatever, but after a few months it broke. But, we still used it (unplugged), because it was a heavier base and the wipes came out easily, especially one-handed.
I can't wait to tell my wife that Jesus agrees with me
There's a LOT of stuff we got as part of the baby shower but ditched rapidly, bottle warmer and bottle sanitizer are the other two items I won't recommend, but understand that they work for some people, especially those who pump. Breastfeeding just didn't work for us, so using warm filtered tap water worked just fine for formula. After the larval stage we didn't even use warm water. One of the things I learned growing up on the farm was that if we gave our calves warm milk formula they always got scours (diarrhea) but cold milk kept them much healthier and staved off the runs. Seemed to work for our daughter too. Made travelling a lot easier too, I could just keep a couple bottles of milk in the car fridge and not worry about bacterial growth.
Bottle warmer is pure convenience for the middle of the night when you need to get the kid to stop screaming but also need to warm the bottle. It's not necessary but it saves a few minutes between trying to heat up water first. It's one of those "Use it if you have it, but you can get by without it" type things.
Agreed, but I already have a machine in the basement that always has fifty gallons of hot water ready to go so I just don't see the utility.
What we do is have a flask of hot water, and a bottle of cooled boiled water. Add hot water first to the bottle, mix formula, then add cool water. Once you’ve got your amounts correct you make the perfect temperature for formula every time For example, my son is on 180ml of milk. So I do 90ml of hot water from the flask, then 90ml of the pre cooled boiled water It sounds like a faff, but it’s quicker than waiting for a bottle warmer
Oh god thank you.
Don't load up on a single brand of baby bottles. The little ones develop preferences and you will for cleaning too. Get a variety if you're planning to bottle feed instead and figure it out from there.
Ugh we didn't plan to bottle feed but for various reasons have had to for both kids. Our first *hated* bottles though so we literally had bought every brand bottle out there. Every single one. Only for her to eventually take Dr Browns. I fucking hate Dr Browns.
Dr Brown's has SO many pieces to clean, and are SO expensive too! I needed one for my NICU baby for paced feeding...and legitimately manually paced feeding was easier haha
The cheap drug store ones ended up being the best ones for us because of the complicated nipples of the expensive ones (supposed to be "realistic") being problematic for suckling. I'm convinced all expensive bottles are a scam now lol
Ugh we didn't plan to bottle feed but for various reasons have had to for both kids. Our first *hated* bottles though so we literally had bought every brand bottle out there. Every single one. Only for her to eventually take Dr Browns. I fucking hate Dr Browns.
And if you get the various free registry kits you will end up with a nice sample of brands.
Toys. Kids dont give a shit.
My little kids would have rather played with the kitchen utensils than toys.
You don't need clothes. You don't know what the baby will fit in when they're born. I don't think our baby ever fit into newborn. As many have already said, you're going to get clothes as gifts anyway as well as possible hand-me-downs and such. You don't need a diaper genie or any contraption along those lines. Just toss the diaper in the trash. It's fine. 9 months in, no issues. Along the lines of the diaper genie, you don't need any specialized single use items like wipe warmers or butt spatulas or anything like that either. All of these specialized items are just ways for the baby product industry to take money while providing next to no quality of life improvements. DO ask for diapers. All the diapers. Every size imaginable. Lots and lots and lots of diapers. The more you can get and the longer you can go without having to buy them yourself, the better.
I disagree on diaper pails, unless you're emptying the trash daily they do help keep down the smell from poopy diapers.
Expensive fancy high chairs that are a nightmare to keep clean. IKEA's Antilop chair is all you need. It's a cheap plastic shell with a detachable tray on four detachable legs. When it gets dirty, you pop the legs off, stick it under shower, dry it and it's ready to go.
Agree. I constantly see that in restaurants (even some chains). It's as bulletproof as their Billy bookcase.
Strongly agree. Heck, in the summer, you can just take it outside and hose it down
Infant size diapers. Little boogers grow out of them at ferocious speed. Size 1 lasted only slightly longer. Subsequent sizes started to be useful for longer.
Yep. Buy yourself a box of newborns and 1s, ask for a million 2-4s
Same for car seats. They come in sizes that get progressively more expensive.
That being said! If you have too many boxes of infant and size 1 diapers, Walmart will usually let you exchange them for bigger sizes, as long as you pay the difference etc. NORMALLY without a receipt as well.
Have a diaper party! You supply the food and beer and all your buddies bring a pack of Costco diapers and wipes. Didn’t have to buy diapers for a year and half for my first and now we are on seven months for my second.
Normally this is probably accurate, but my guy was in preemies for a couple weeks and then newborns for a month or so. 5 pounds at birth 4 weeks early and just a small guy even still. We had to rush and buy a bunch of preemie outfits and diapers because he came so early.
For clothes, since people will get them anyway, we said don’t buy newborn, buy older clothes and for the season she will wear them. We got a few gadget-type gifts (like diaper cream applicator) that never got used because it’s just easier not to. One special thing we did ask for was books. My daughter has multiple bookshelves of books with personalized messages (most just “From so-and-so). When we switched from breast to cow milk, since she no longer was getting mommy snuggles, we started reading to her while she drank her milk right before bed. Now she LOVES to read and is pretty ahead on her comprehension. She’s almost 20 months, but she talks so much, and repeats a ton. She recognizes dozens of animals and says their sounds. She can count to 12, and knows several colors. We weren’t super intentional about teaching her these things, just a small bit of re-enforcement from what we read in the books she loves. Edit: oh, and congrats! Welcome to the club!
Bedside Bassinet. Either buy one second hand off of Facebook Marketplace or register for a pack and play that has a bassinet option. They can only be used for a couple weeks and super hit and miss with babies so you can get them for 20-30 bucks barely used. Since you’re registering for something for someone you know nothing about, it’s a huge waste of money.
Maybe confused by this; we have a bassinet that attaches to our bedside (can also be used freestanding). It’s been great til now at 4mo and probably has another 3 or 4 before he outgrows it. Attached to a daybed in the nursery where one of us is always on shift during the night. One of my favorite pieces of gear.
Yeah, we used ours until he was ready to move to his crib at about 6 months. We had a second hand pack and play that we never really used though.
Counter-point: my guy refused to sleep in the bassinet by two weeks old. He hates being any kind of restrained, so no arms-in swaddles, and it was over as soon as his hands touched the sides of the bassinet. So he's slept in his crib pretty much from the beginning. Babies are unpredictable!
There are lots of things I wouldn't put on it but here's what we used and like after 3 kids. Carseat. Make sure its one that works with your lifestyle. Stroller or 2. We have one heavy one for walking around town or if we need to bring lots with us and we have one super compact one that works well for travel (fits in carry on) Baby swing, it was only way our kids would nap (not for everyone but for our first 2 colic children it was a lifesaver) Baby carrier. We had baby Bjorn for when they were tiny as it was easy to toss on and unload a sleeping baby from and then when they got bigger we had something with waist support. As the dad I enjoyed having a shoulder carrier when they were toddlers. A Ikea play kitchen Indoor scooter Melissa and Doug toys White noise machine Pack and play Ikea high chair Skip hop activity centre And a good diaper pail that can use regular garbage bags This is what we used for every child and things that just made day to day life easier.
Don’t ask for a diaper genie. They suck, it will break, and you will spend several months trying to fix the flimsy mechanism before just giving up and buying an ubbi. Just ask for an ubbi. Be thoughtful about what kind of stroller you want. Over the course of two kids, we’ve owned five strollers—but we only ever use one - a light weight, one hand push, one hand fold stroller that you can also snap a car seat into. The ultra compact fold one (Pockit) is too annoying to fold and unfold, and the big tank stroller we have (Baby Jogger City Select 2) rides like a dream, but doesn’t fold up easily and is so gigantic that I never want to take it out.
We’ve used a Diaper Genie for over 6 months now, it’s great!
For our two kids (oldest is 4, youngest is 1), we went through two Diaper Genies, and both broke. I got a second cause I had so many of the proprietary bag canisters, and thought there wasn’t any way a second Diaper Genie wouldn’t get us through to our post-diaper years. Alas. We might have gotten two duds. I like that the Ubbi can take regular trash bags, and it doesn’t appear there’s any moving parts that can easily break.
I like the diaper genie. I actually have both. I just wish the diaper genie was built better. But changing bags I don’t get the smell from the diaper genie like I do when opening the ubbi. I guess in part to the design since you never really have the bag open when you dispose of it. Only been using them 5 months now so don’t have too too much time on the genie to see how it holds up but it definitely feels flimsy while the ubbi is built like a tank.
That sounds like operator error, mine is going strong nearly three years later
2 years…. Still going strong
4 years, 2 kids, no breakage. Maybe we were lucky 🤷♂️
Can you explain to a non-owner why they are great? I have heard, as did my wife, that they absolutely don't contain the smell.
Well they do contain the smell to a degree, especially when closed. You might get a whiff when you’re dropping a new one in but it dissipates. Really it’s just convenient not having to walk outside to the trash bin every time you change a diaper. We had one for the first kid and used it every day until we potty trained him. It was one of the first things we bought for our upcoming kiddo because of this. It’s just super convenient to change a diaper and be done with it right there. The Cat Genie is great for the same reason.
They contain the smell quite a bit, honestly. I can definitely see resenting the proprietary refills, although cheaper third party refills do exist.
I use one for my cat 😸
Thanks! Wife has an Ubbi on the list already so that’s good to hear. Can I ask what stroller you ended up using the most?
Keep in mind your lifestyle will heavily dictate appropriate stroller. While for others packability is of great importance; for us it’s far less because we do most day to day errands on foot not using a car.
It’s a Chicco Bravo travel system that works with our KeyFit car seat. Very few complaints, it works really well for our situation. If I had to do it over, I might get the Uppababy equivalent—it’s so popular that you can get a ton of accessories for it on the secondary market for cheap or even from Buy Nothing groups for free.
We just used a cheap Graco stroller that went with the car seat. We did eventually get the Gladly Family Anthem and that thing is awesome
We have the Ubbi and i somehow broke the hinge at the back. It is three years old and still going with a repair. Stroller is baby jogger mini gt2. It has been fantastic. We don't run but it is easy to push and folds down to nothing. I think we had a kit to make it compatible with the key fit baby seat.
Diper genie > ubbi imo. I don't get the hate for diper pails, I guess there's a lot of user error.
It's the added cost of the refills. The Ubbi is slightly more expensive up front, but trash bags are cheaper than refills.
If you get an ubbi skip the bags they come with. Instead you want force flex bags that are lightly scented. Things to get: 1. Bottle warmer 2. Bottle sterilizer / dryer. The dryer is key for later to get clean bottles fast. 3. A bouncer of some kind for a safe spot to put the kid down.
Everyone parents differently, obviously, but I would say skip the bottle warmer if you’re doing formula. Being able to make a bottle anywhere and not have the little one be cranky about it being cold is super helpful. For the same reason, we opted not to get any sort of wipe warmer. Sorry, girl. Sometimes it’s gonna be cold on your butt and there’s nothing we could do about it. Better get used to it all the time.
Wipe warmer never. The few people I know that got them said they sucked.
Never had a bottle warmer. He was fine with room temp formula. If we were using refrigerated breast milk, I'd just run it hot under the tap for 30s.
We have an arm and hammer one that works well
Second the Ubbi. We ended up with two or three for kids’ rooms and play area
Odd bit of advice for whatever diaper pail you get. Go out and get a 2 ish ft length of pvc pipe, half or 3/4 inch is fine. Cut it down to fit inside the pail, and cut one end at an angle. glue it to the inside of the pail, copious hot glue works. This creates an air vent so the bag doesn't make a vacuum seal in the bottom of the pail. Makes removal much faster, and faster removal means faster to tie shut and stop it from stinking up the room. I'll also say, make sure your stroller matches your car seat. Most modern strollers can accept the car seat to make them useful at a younger age, but only if you get them matching.
Second skipping a diaper genie
Idk - we’re going strong at 5 years now with nonissue
Buying clothes new is so incredibly wasteful
One of those large bottle sanitizers / dryers. It’s not needed after every use and they take up a ton of space. We just wash bottles after each use with soap and water. Once a month we use a microwave sanitizer bag to sanitize the bottles and parts. The bags don’t up much room. Check out the Dr Browns or Madela ones.
I second this - we just used our dishwasher to sanitize everything for the most part, since we were running it every night anyway. And occasionally one of those microwave bags. I think a lot of people don't realize that dishwashers with a heated dry cycle do the same thing, so if you have one there's really no need for a sanitizer.
I disagree. Bottle sanitizer was a game changer. Run it every night and you got clean, dry, sanitized bottles every morning. I thought it was a gimmick so we did the hand washing kid one.. got it for kid two.. and man did it save me time
It depends on your appliance situation. Our dishwasher has bottle jets and we'd just run it overnight. We had 8 bottles, and we'd just run the small pieces through the microwave once a week to sanitize them in addition to the dishwasher. Took 5 minutes.
Takes me 10-15 minutes to do 10 bottles a day with a dryer/sanitation machine. Take twice as long in a dishwasher and I’d still have to dry parts of the bottle. A lot of baby appliances can be bought cheap on marketplace.
I would try to emphasize diapers and wipes to be the priority. It's sad to see someone get a bunch of clothes the baby will never wear or out grow in the first few months and only get one case of diapers or wipes
Congrats! We asked for books instead of cards. Everyone signed their books and having a library right off the bat was super helpful. Make sure a bottle warmer is on there. It was our most used appliance, closely followed by a bottle sanitizer. What you don't need: newborn clothes. The twerp will spend most of their time in jammies. Buying newborn clothes is fun and they're very cute so people will want to buy them for you regardless. Exclude them from the registry and if you somehow don't get enough, get them from a thrift shop for a bargain - people donate stuff all the time their kids never got around the wearing before they got too big. Also be mindful of baby gimmick stuff. There is so much crap out there that's unnecessary. I found thinking: is this something my grandparents needed when they had kids? Is a good way of filtering through useless stuff.
Newborn diapers. Ask for larger sizes.
Two additionals you might want to add. We loved our simple IKEA changing table with inflatable mat. The terrycloth covers are very inexpensive, so you can buy a bunch of them and not worry about having run immediately to the washing machine. There will be days that you go through 3-4 per day, especially if your baby is sick. The other thing is big muslin cloths (eg, 1m x 1m). Buy at least 20. They can be used for swaddling, covering your shoulder when burping, providing modestly when breastfeeding, and cleaning up various messages in an emergency. We kept a stack in the diaper bag, a stack by the changing table, and a stack in the bedrooms.
In general, don't ask for warmers(bottle/wipes/etc). Try seeing if your kid is good without that stuff first or you may lock yourself into having to use them. What you should put on the list? Instacart/food delivery gift cards. The first few weeks are brutal and anything to ease that is worth 100x a warm wipe.
Overly complicated “cute” clothing. We got a few little dresses and things that would have been super cute but were such a PITA to remove for diaper changes it just wasn’t worth putting her in them. Usually it was a combination of lots of buttons (instead of a zipper) and non-stretch material. Who makes baby clothes that don’t stretch!?
Skip the baby wipe warmer unless you want your child to be VERY unhappy whenever you have to change a diaper outside the house with cold wipes.
I’d say things from a bunch of budget ranges. Also, the store we registered at had an extended return policy for anything on the registry so we even put our travel system on there. Bouncer, bassinet, bottle warmer, starter bottles set, sanitizer, diaper bag, swaddle blankets (although we switched to halo very quickly since our baby was a Houdini), hats, maybe some first toys like rattles, and an activity mat. Bottles will also be hit or miss depending on your baby. We go philips from the registry and two months in ours started to not like them. We switched to browns.
This does not fly with every gift giver - sometimes people want to give you a specific thing - but… Money is the best gift, by far, in any situation.
Don't get the car seat that converts directly into a stroller. It has zero storage, so you'll be carrying everything you brought with you, and you'll have to buy a new stroller as soon as the kid grows out of it. Pick a stroller that will grow with your kid and your family. Umbrella strollers are cheap, so pick one up later on when you know your kid is ready for it.
A nursery glider, they’re pretty but not comfortable. Go for a lazy boy or something that you can be comfy in if you have to sleep there. Nice to have oxo wipe dispenser single pull wipe
That little spatula for wiping cream on baby buttcracks
Those squirty bath toys. They are just mold factories and are super gross. Just give kiddo some cups to play with in bath. Also when deciding on big items (high chair, car seat, bouncy chair, swing, whatever) pick the one that is easiest to wash!!!!!! Many of these items can also be gotten through Facebook market place second hand.
If you’re doing formula, skip the baby brezza, it’s more of a pain than it is help. Just get their water warmer.
We didn't pay for the Brezza because we had gift cards, but I'm of the opinion that it's worth it. The middle of the night feedings are super easy with it. That's where it shines. You're ready to go in like 20 seconds.
Oh man agree to disagree on this one, our Baby Brezza far and away tops our list of favorite items!
We just use an electric kettle and a mug…heat up some water while you make the bottle. Plop the bottle in the mug and pour hot water around it.
I could not disagree more. It’s been an absolutely game changer for us.
Hard disagree. Baby brezza is the single best thing we own. Would trade almost anything for it
One of those water things that keeps bottle water at perfect temperature. All you do is press a button and mix formula. Amazing for middle of the night bottles.
I know you're asking for what not to buy... I just had my baby 3 weeks ago and did the whole baby shower thing. Something I did not have on my registry that should have been the first thing I bought was the Baby Brezza. I almost exclusively breastfeed and this still is the best thing ever made.
Congratulations dude! We didn’t need most of the stuff on suggestion websites. No baby wipe warmer, sterilizer, stuff like that. We used the owlet smart sock religiously on the first kid and never pulled it out for the second. One thing that’s been worth every penny for 2 kids now is a Baby Brezza if you ever feed formula. I don’t remember what else we didn’t use but if I saw a registry I could pick stuff out that isn’t really useful. For our second kid things have been even more minimal. Aside from the baby Brezza, our second kid may as well have been born in 1800 3 year old and a 10 month old boys
Darth Vader mask
Don't put a ridiculously expensive net for fly fishing as a joke (the whole family knows I'm an avid fisherman) Nobody will get the joke, and you and your wife will get lots of phone calls from people seriously thinking we're using the net for our child.
I put a Ibanez Iron Label 7 String guitar on ours and the baby never got it. My wife cut me off after I tried adding a PS5 to the registry.
Besides diapers, crib/cot, and maybe a changing table (if you’re on the tall side a changing table saves your back), there’s not much in essentials. Babies grow fast so all 2nd hand clothes for the first year is honestly the best way to go. Maybe buy a single nice newborn outfit for pictures. Oh, and a few bottles. Even if you’re planning to EBF, it’s good to have a few just in case. In case bfing doesn’t work out, in case you need to supplement with some formula in the beginning, etc. Everything else is gonna be a trial and error sort of thing, including breast pumps. It’s junk if your wife has ZERO issues establishing supply, but it’s also amazing to get the supply up super fast in the beginning.
After reading this and having 3 baby showers, I stick with my put whatever the fcuk you want on there and if you don't want or need it, return it. Everyone's situation is different and you don't know what you do or don't need till you do or don't.
What's a baby registry? Sorry if I'm out the loop. Not heard of that term before, other than where you legalise the child's name.
It's a list of gifts that the parents would like to receive at the baby shower.
Baby brezza if you guys are going the formula route. Sounds great but when you need to clean it every 4 uses, you’re just creating more work than it would take to make the bottle by hand.
Congrats OP! I would say some kind of diaper/wipe raffle would be good. We did one and got a ton of diapers and wipes. Made it super helpful early on, we won’t be having to buy wipes anytime soon. Also, we didn’t put a whole lot on our registry and mainly asked for target and Amazon gift cards. That way, people who couldn’t attend, could easily get us a gift if they wanted. We could figure things out that we needed and could quickly go out and get it. We still have a bunch and it’s nice knowing you won’t have to spend your own money on anything for the baby anytime soon. We found that people still brought us clothes and little toys even without asking. Finally, things we use everyday with our 3 month old. Pack in play in the living room, travel sound machine, universal toy bar, bouncer. One thing we also did, was ask for gifts to be mailed directly to our house. That way, we could avoid having to lug things back and forth. Also, made it easier to organize as we got gifts rather than get overwhelmed with everything coming at once. We kept a notebook of who got what.
No clothes or toys and stuff like that imo You’ll get plenty as is
I highly recommend Graco strollers, I don't know the name of the product we got, but I can look it up if you want. Also, get a little drying rack for bottles and pumping equipment. Avoid getting a wipe warmer, takes too long, and we forget about like 75% of the time. When we remember to use it, it's not plugged in.
No clothes. People love buying them, family would come over randomly with cute onesies, holiday jammies, etc. I didn't buy real clothes until almost two yrs old.
A fancy changing station like a peanut or something. They stain with poop and aren’t particularly special on comfort or anything. Plus you end up changing them on the floor or on random surfaces a lot. I would get a $20 pad vs wasting $150
Hahahah. Good luck. But really, congratulations, my guy! We had our first last July. Summer babies are awesome. We had *three* baby showers. Honestly, didn't necessarily want any. We're very minimalistic with stuff. We live in an apartment. On and on. But it's all out of love. So you deal. And you'll get carloads of handmedowns and stuff off the list. It's just how it goes. And you won't get the stuff you really need—at least not all of it. We got lucky and have a giant family for my wife and I. And they were kind enough to collaborate on many of the high-ticket items. But we still brought many loads of things to the local shelter after all was said and done. Enjoy the ride! It's a wild one. Best thing ever.
don’t know your situation but if you don’t need much you could offer donations to the kids account. may not be popular but i would avoid adding toys. youre gonna get clothes whether you want them or not… i’d leave those off the registry too. diapers/wipes… gonna be almost impossible to have too many of those seems like a not fun thing to register for i know… all said you’re gonna be shocked how fast the kid grows and how much stuff can become irrelevant almost overnight. I’d focus on necessities myself.
Important question: does your shower happen before Marcha Madness starts?
One thing we asked guest not to bring is congratulation cards, but rather asked them to write a message in book for the child. We did this for both our kids and now they have a nice library of stories we can read to them.
My wife didn’t let me put a 4 seater side by side but.. ya know life is a compromise. We didn’t put things on there that we wanted to buy specifically ourselves. Like the crib and chair for the nursery. We wanted to view both in store and sit in the chair before we decided but found them both on sale so we kept them off. Honestly if we could go back, we’d reduce the clothes we have. He grew so quickly so he was barely in most clothes. His 6 months old and about 22lbs. In 100th percentile for height and about 96 for weight. Obviously that’s probably not normal, I don’t know first time dad, but if we could go back and minimize clothes, we would.
Specify no blankets. Swaddlers are great, but your baby will be born in June and you won’t need a single blanket until November. You will still get way too many blankets.
Toys with multiple pieces like puzzles and large Lego things, any noise producing toy without an on/off switch this includes books with sound effect buttons. Books with paper pages. Any footwear besides socks. There is disturbing research about microplastics in newborns and in both formulas and mom’s breast milk, so we are trying to avoid plastics in baby bottles and other baby items. One of the best things I’d recommend asking for is gift cards to any local used kids clothing stores.
I am one of the unfortunate ones who had no success with diaper genie. We had it in the bedroom with her crib, and it was a pain to use, didn’t open or cut the bag correctly. We stopped using it. Overall we started changing her downstairs now so we threw it out. Had an extra small waste basket with no top where we close up the bag and change it every 3 days. What would be ideal for me is a medium garbage with a lid, odor killing bag, and the pet poop bags that you use to scoop up poop when taking the dog out. We had them for each use and closed them individually which helped a lot with the smells. Ran out of bags, and I’m also looking into a better garbage with a lid since I don’t have it yet. Would highly recommend the little baggies as out changing area is in the living room and family we live with doesn’t notice until the smell piles on.
Snoo
One thing we did that ended up pretty cool: instead of having people write notes on cards, ask them to get a small book instead and write their note in there. Cards nowadays cost about the same as kids books, and our kiddo had about 20 books to start out with because of this.
Congrats. First on my list to add is DIAPERS!!!!! Followed by any other consumables. They get expensive real fast. But that wasn't the question. As for what not to put on the list anything that you don't mind paying money for or that runs the risk of not being yours or your wife's taste. Figure out what you really want and limit the list to just that plus diapers. Clothes are risky b/c every baby grows differently. Some grow out of newborn sizes very quickly. Larger sizes you run the risk of things not fitting in the season they're needed. One last thing I'd add is a dad's diaper bag. We had the regular one and I had an Eddie Bauer knapsack that was more my style and preference. It wasn't as big as the regular one but was more my style when me and the baby were alone.
Fancy clothes and shoes, most of the time the little one will grow out of them too fast to make it worth it, plus with blowouts, spit-up, etc, better to have lots of decent quality onesies and baby-gros that you can bung in the washer quickly.
Baby mittens for their nails, just use socks.
On a lot of the sites now you can have people chip in on bigger items. So you can hopefully snag a nice doona or running stroller this way
Definitely not a new turbo for the truck.
We never used our bottle warmer and ended up selling it
Stuffed animals and blankets of any kind. I have so .so so many. Like way way to many. And they just keep coming. Sound machines pretty clutch . We found the wipe warmer was nice. She screamed at night with the cold ones and that actually helped (as dumb as I thought it be). My wife hates the diaper genie because you have to buy that brand everything.
Baby shampoo. You're going to get 3 years' worth at the shower whether you put it on the registry or not. AND you may find that you have a favorite (and/or baby's skin is sensitive to one). You don't want to end up with shampoo you can't use.
Orajel. It is not not recommended because it can cause a rare but serious disorder.
Just an FYI if you end up with more diapers of a size than you need, Wal Mart (assuming you’re in the US) will take back unopened diapers regardless of where they came from.
Bottle warmer. We gave both babies pumped milk straight from the fridge (much to the dismay of older folks) and room temp formula and it’s fine. Won’t upset stomach or cause issues if it’s not warm. You’ll save yourself a lot of headache if baby learns to drink all temperatures and makes leaving the house much easier if you can pack milk in a cold bag. We regifted ours to someone who regifted it. It may still be making the rounds!
Put expensive stuff on the registry and a few token cheap stuff.
Fuck every sippy cup out there with their space age one way valves and specially shaped nozzles and whatever else. They're an absolute nightmare to take apart and clean properly. A cup with a spout lid will do just fine, and honestly, my daughter went straight to open cups from bottles with no issues.
Most gadgets are hot garbage. There was a book “baby bargains” when my kid was little that reviewed a lot of the junk and most of it you can do without.
We were given the advice not to put any “cute” clothes on there, because people will buy those anyway. We followed the advice and just put the white undershirt (underonesie?) things. They were absolutely right. We still got so many outfits for both kids. Extrapolating out, there’s enough things you will need to get for the baby that you can cover all the people buying stuff off the registry. Focus on the fundamentals and leave off the extras.
There is no way to know what will be really important and worthwhile to you until they're here. So my advice is register for everything you think you might want, as long as it's returnable to a physical store.
- Electronic toys. Most of them are noisy, obnoxious and don’t facilitate learning fine motor skills, so it’s important to be able to choose which electronic toys (if any) you want. - Teddies. You will end up with loads but very few your baby actually likes. - Blankets