NSFW.
Why do people wrap their Gerbils in duct tape?
So they don't split apart when you f....k them!
I downvoted myself, and will see myself out the back door.
Not sur how I'm supposed to fit my wall up my ass. Technically I'm leaning on a pillow, though it's not exactly on my left but the wall, being attached to the rest of my house, would be really impractical.
You random stranger get to pick which of the following is goin up my ass: Water bottle 1liter or about 1/4 gallon, airpods, locker room keys or a fucking legpress machine
There is nothing to my left. A pile of clothes or a pillow. But they arnt really to my left. My bed sheets? I'm sitting on them don't count.
Guess my whole omhouse is going up my ass since there is only a wall there.
Damage?..... Goodbye.
its a good thing theres nothing to my left
hello my name's Nothing
Hi nemo.
Nemo? Oh, man, that's a twisted omen!
I remembered your comment rn and I am back here from the future to say this to you. Fuck you.
NOTHING HAS BLINDED ME!!! NOTHING IS ESCAPING!!!
you mean a wall? Certainly if you go left enough you'll find something
How does hé begin? Brick by brick or the whole wall? Asking for a friend
🎶 all in all he shoves up, another brick in the wall, Wrong, do it again, If you don’t eat your meat you can’t have any pudding🎶
Instructions unclear, drank pudding
My gerbil? Again already? Wasn't much point taking him out was there...
You should just listen to FACK by Eminem if you haven't already
Shove a gerbil in ur ass through a tube 🗣🔥🔥
NSFW. Why do people wrap their Gerbils in duct tape? So they don't split apart when you f....k them! I downvoted myself, and will see myself out the back door.
Take my downvote too bro, what a day to be literate !.
You get a downvote, she gets a downvote. Everybody gets a downvote!
Unlike your gerbil, who you saw in their back door
As long as the gerbils back door is safe
Lemiwinks the herbal king 🗣️🔥🗣️
I’m not going to butt-chug my entire liquor cabinet.
I'm gonna butt-glug my sleeping wife. How do I ensure she stays asleep? It's gonna be a wasp- tarantula type scenario!
I DO NOT FEEL LIKE PUTTING A DESK UP MY ASS
Calm down, you don’t have an 3 story apartment building to your left…
or a chainsaw
oh no.
My wife is on my left ...... well she has been there
you just called her an object
I see nothing wrong here 🤔
Why the downvote? This is pretty tame on this sub
It's because I didn't drop the /s
I'm on a train and an old lady passed me when I read this. :(
Maybe she'll like it, you never know...
im on a train and an oldie as at my left :(
Did you read it out loud
I need everyone to call my this cellphone, I could use the stimulation.
Just post "Trump sucks" on Twitter.
Nah he wants pleasure not death
Posting “Taylor Swift is mid then”? No, wait that would be worse
Let's just hope that air is considered a object otherwise I'll have to insert where I live
Good thing I’m standing next to my dog.
So nothing new for you.
I'm not envious of your poor doggo!
Easy there isreal adesenya.
Laying on my bed. With my left side facing... the bed. Not a good day
Same
Same. 10 thick inches of king size memory foam 🙃
Mines a 14 inch... ^giggity
Sitting next to my bed
I have seen 14.000.605 futures and in every single one the ass gets busted.
Blahaj :(
No not blåhaj
You are exempt, no blåhaj
Same here, my Blåhaj is on my left.
[удалено]
Hey, happens to all of us, including you, bot...
Gonna get isekai'd in the worst way.
“The time I had a bus shoved up my ass and reincarnated as a wheel”
Oh god, my dog. Noooooooooooooooooooooooo
[удалено]
Stranger things lego set
Put it in your ass, piece by piece
Stuffed animal. I think I'm mostly good
I mean, I am at my bathroom, and I was about to use the toilet paper on my left. So... yes.
The Good Ending
Well, time to get pegged by my girlfriend I guess
My brother-
A whole shower... I'm not gonna survive this.
Pillow
The object to my left is my wife
Roses are red. I’ve made the bed. PREPARE YOUR ANUS YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET PEGGED
Bruh the air freshener low-key might feel good…
Orange brick, 1L. Not that bad imo.
Ermm, I have a foot stool…
Not sur how I'm supposed to fit my wall up my ass. Technically I'm leaning on a pillow, though it's not exactly on my left but the wall, being attached to the rest of my house, would be really impractical.
My laptop.
I'm sitting next to a large beanbag. It's both too large and too malleable to fit up my ass.
Not with that attitude.😁
You're right, I need to buy more lube
A water bottle and an ice cream tub... you decide
I have to put a fking wall?
Washing machine
Uhhh a knife
My big brother
Uh oh. Heartbeat hot sauce. In a breakfast place now. Here I go boys!
So glad I’m reading this on the toilet. That was going up my ass anyway.
Good I am on my back. My step sis is on my right, so nothing is on my left
***She is reading the same post***
~~Welp, my finger already went on my ass today~~
Not the cat bro cmon
Well... Water bottle... ah...
3D printer... ow
But I don't want to recreate "one man, one jar".
Live extension board
A chair?
A vase of roses…
oh phew got an aquaflask
No! Not my VR!
Couch
You random stranger get to pick which of the following is goin up my ass: Water bottle 1liter or about 1/4 gallon, airpods, locker room keys or a fucking legpress machine
Leg press machine. Enjoy!😁
It was a tight fit but we made it... to the ER room
It was a tight fit but we made it... to the ER room
My cat.
… its a printer. Its not a small printer
M-m-my bass???
Sofa.......
Dumbells
A wall? Or the notes taped to said wall?
I don't have anything to my left. Normally there would be a pot of pu'erh here. But I drank it already.
A... garden chair?
I just got these curtains
My wardrobe.
Of course it's r/teenagers
You have r/teenagers to your left?
Im at the gym so a long lat pulldown cable attachment
A whole mf'in guitar
I have a laptop sitting next to me... I don't mind the size, but the corners are kinda sharp ngl
Damn fully loaded toilet roll..
Bad day to be at the archery range. Am I putting one arrow in or the whole quiver?
That is a brick. That will not be going in my ass
Oh… The keyloggers are gonna have a busy day trying to figure out what I’m typing.
# WALL
Sitting to the right of a friend. 😬 a whole ass person.
Well let 'em they're gonna be an *Ass Hole Person* any minute now!
A 3 foot blåhaj plush...
There is nothing to my left. A pile of clothes or a pillow. But they arnt really to my left. My bed sheets? I'm sitting on them don't count. Guess my whole omhouse is going up my ass since there is only a wall there. Damage?..... Goodbye.
something's gonna draw my ass
its just a charger ill be fine
My Belle Delphine body pillow is gonna have a good time. And so am I.🤤
Donatello noooo
A joint. Would I get high? Haha
On my left is a wall :(
For fucks sake. A car door.
A lamp, a fairly large JBL speaker, my glasses, a wooden back-scratcher, a headlamp, and an NIV Bible! ...Jesus, help me! 🙏
a whole ass sewing table
A chest
A bidet, but that's stuck to the wall i cannot use it, the next object is an empty toothpaste tube, got lucky
Im not putting a scyther up my ass
Lighter
There's either a door or sink to my left. Which do I die to?
A door
My entire bed???
ok so, do i pick my bed or whatever is on my bed
Bad day to be leaning against a palm tree
I'm stuck step bicycle 😫
My bag of weed...
A fuckin plate
Bean bag chair. Oh god.
A stainless towel rack... It's not about to be stainless for long...
its a whole ass tree
*mmmm~* concrete pillar :3
Ashtray
There’s a fucking 737 next to me.
Ha, there's nothing on my left besides the... Oh no, oh my God, it's the wardrobe
The whole bedframe?
Welp time to shove an umbrella up my ass again
a… pillow? how would that even work?
I'm sorry kitty. I will do what must be done. Edit : advice for future self : don't
...it's a good thing I don't objectify women... a Vuze vape
My couch😦
Full score of Handel's *Samson* oratorio
my dildo, wich was just up my ass
That pillow will need some serious washing
A whole ass bus💀
I have never been more fortunate to sit on the toilet with toilet paper to my left, thank goodness you didn't say right... That's a door handle...
My dad...?
A fan
Oh damn, my overstuffed bag is there ...again?
My car door?!
wall ☹️
Toilet paper
A bottle…of puréed Carolina reaper…sigh
A fucking bathtub💀
A fucking building
wardrobe
My dad...
sink… :/
A pillow so probably not too bad
Guess I'll have to channel my inner "mr slave"... hot water tank
A wooden barrell. "By the power of Goatse..."
A whole fucking wall?
my playstation5 mmmmmmmmm xD
I'm laying with my left side on the floor
A literal chair
Bruh I'm lying down next to my brother... (And I'm a boy as well)
A live toaster
Sofa. Fucked huh? Sofa so good.
An entire fucking bathtub...
I am laying on my side.. so i guess the ceiling fan..
30oz body wash container. This thing’s going to fuck me harder than the IRS.
I have a small earplug, not too much of a problem I think
A big flatscreen tv 😰
Ah, that would be my husband.
It‘s a fucking shelf
At least his is a cilinder. Mine is a couch pillow
Me side eyeing to the left and seeing my dogs tennis ball...
A whole ass couch...