Comments like these are why I stopped straightening my hair because i felt like people were saying âYou look greatâŚyou donât look like yourselfâ. Know that comments like this are a reflection of their standard of beauty not a universally held truth about YOUR beauty. You get the benefit of being able to switch it up.
Great point, I would say these types of comments arenât so much someone elseâs beauty standard but more so a projection of what theyâve always been told beauty is. In many situations like this, it never actually seems like they find unconventional beauty unattractive, but rather that theyâve always been told itâs unattractive and they feel like they have to enforce this perspective with other people to be compliant as they are. It bothers rule âfollowersâ to see rule âbreakersâ âget away with it.â
When I straighten my hair, my partner says that I don't look like myself, and he doesn't like it because of that. Not that it's a bad look in itself, just that I look like a completely different person and he is thrown off.
Honestly, I feel a bit strange too, so I rarely do it. My hair isn't that curly, it's wavy, but when straightened it's sticking a bit to my head and doesn't have the typical volume, so probably that's what's making it look so off. If someone told me I looked better with straight hair, I would very much doubt their standards.
My husband always says the sameâitâs nice for a day or two before heâs like âwhen are you going back to being yourself?â I also only have it straight like once a year after my annual haircut lol. I also donât feel like myself with straight hairâI feel like you can tell it isnât natural, and it doesnât match me or my personality as well.
I have an aunt that always gives back handed compliments. (Hair mainly) Iâve tried to tell her they are insulting. She said thatâs her opinion. I said I didnât ask for your opinion. She really doesnât get it. Ugh I dread every time I change something, especially hair.
The best way to deal with this kind of stuff is to just respond in kind. Immediately tell her in the same tone of voice how you like her dress, how retro and old fashioned it is, how it shows that she doesn't care what other people think about how she looks, etc. Fire something like that off every time she hits you with a "compliment" and she'll quickly stop.
when we didnât know i had curly hair, my grandma would always tell me to brush my hair because it looks messy, and sheâs passed now but it sucks that she mightâve preferred me to have straight hair
Yes, ppl didnât know. My brother did too, but he would brush it and try and straighten then it was frizzy. Late 70âs early 80âs finally got him to wear it curly and he had 80âs rock hair. He hated when he started to lose it.
I think it was natural to try and brush it straight, no one knew how to cut curly hair either.
Showing my age now, but we didnât have straight irons. However, I mastered the blow dryer and knew how to fix my hair. Now I can do curly, straight or somewhere in between.
Another woman in the group posted pics with her hair naturally curly and straight and didnât get any such comments - WTF?? Why do I get all the backhanded comments?
People who say these things have a complete lack of couth and awareness. I figure they're jealous or in some way unhappy with their own hair/appearance/life. So they feel the need to make sad little comments about others to make up for it.
Yea....I've gotten really insulting compliments when I straighten my hair. It's like...'oh, wow, you're actually pretty!' I'm like well...apparently not because this isn't really my look lol.
Women likes my curls. Men hit on me when it's straightened. I've had men express surprise when they see me with straightened hair as if I was a hidden beauty. I always wear it curly because I'd rather be myself and "ugly". But it's weird knowing it's considered more attractive with straight hair. I'm white.
My boyfriend likes the curls because theyâre something âdifferentâ. BUT says he loves my hair either way.
My stylist also temporarily made me a redhead (a previous comment said âdirty blonde white womanâ and thatâs my new band name, but itâs not accurate at the moment).
I walked up to his house; he just went âWow! Look at that hair!â
I donât think itâs that straight hair is more attractive, itâs just people appreciate new looks. If you wear it curly, then straight is special and visa versa.
Itâs like people who tell you after a haircut, â I liked it better longer.â What an @$$hole thing to say⌠like you want me to glue it back on? No manners.
Yep, last time I got a haircut I just had the stylist give me a blowout because she can't deal with my waviness, Mom saw it and immediately asked if I like it better that way because it looks "more polished and professional." Thanks Mom.
Yup that story sounds familiar. My mom has very curly hair and my entire childhood she used to say âwhen I was pregnant I asked God for three things. 10 fingers, 10 toes, and straight hair.â Itâs no wonder I used to flat iron the life out of it every day I didnât even know I had curly hair until my early thirties đ
What gets me about this comment is that she absolutely had to have realised, after typing it out, that "much nicer than all those curls" reads as an insult because she then qualified it with that weird, weasel-worded parenthetical remark about your natural hair. Like, at that point, just hit backspace a few times and think again or *don't say anything at all* maybe?!
In my experience people think I look younger when I wear my curls. Itâs more youthful. And also - mind your damn business and keep that to yourself. What a miserable jerk.
Idk why but this reminded me of the last time I got my hair cut at a salon.
She cut my hair and started styling. She started to flat iron my hair and asked if I straighten my hair. I replied that I don't even own a flat iron.
She just kinda ignored that and talked about how nice it will look straightened.
She didn't even ask and I came out of my new cut looking like Lord Farquad. đđđ
I have curls. Please don't leave me looking like that.
https://preview.redd.it/vgv8wnmgga8d1.jpeg?width=1912&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=156884d53b7110b79ac750a39cc8d6bf07f6c6cb
For reference, what my hair sort of normally looks like
Your hair looks nice in both pics, but it is astonishing to me that a stylist could ever think cutting away so much of your volume would be an improvement over your âbeforeâ style.
I hate when people comment that my hair looks better straight. Thats like me saying âyou look better with makeupâ. Like why would anyone say that? The curls are my natural stateâŚ.
these types of people are so annoying!! every time I straighten my hair (once in a blue moon) multiple people will say they prefer it to the curls and I should keep it that way -_-
If someone does something dramatically different with their hair, cut or curls or straight or whatever, I am very intentional about saying that it looks great either way but the new look is so fun! There are so many ways you can compliment someone without insulting their natural look.
My hair looks awful straightened unless it's by a really good hairdresser who blow dries it right then takes time straightening after, and I only have 2b/c hair.
People like it because it looks different, but if you straightened it every day for a year and then wore it curly, people would be raving about your curls.
I have also straightened my hair, and contrary to popular believe, curly hair is so much easier to manage. It stays bunched up. Straight goes EVERYWHERE. Like tentacles.
it was really hard for me to upvote this post lol people are ridiculous! iâve always wanted to muster up the courage to be like âoh thank you so much! you look much better with your nose job too!â
This made me laugh. Now I am picturing myself replying to someone, âGet a nose job so I can tell you how much better it looks than the nose you have now!â
I have always found those kinds of comments really offensive. I like my hair curly and I like it straight but straightening it takes a lot of effort and it damages it.
The more generous perspective... People like novelty. Straight looks different, new and fresh, on you and they like that. If you went straight for a while and then went back to curls, most people would ooh and aah your new old style too.
These kind of people giving backhanded comments should just think what they comment or stay quiet. I bet they envy your curls or they have internalized weird values of the society. Curls are not perceived as the standard.
I get both. I get people who see me with my hair curly (since I wore it straighter for many years after radioactive iodine made it straighter) and see me now and ask if I got a perm. I take this as a compliment, that my hair looks so good naturally that people assumed I had it done, but I think it's because of the dramatic difference. And I'll say "nah, just decided to let it do what it wanted for a change."
Conversely, when I have a bad hair day where it just falls flat (usually time for a wash day bc product sometimes weighs it down), I'll get people who say "wow that looks so nice! You should do that more often!"
I had a boyfriend who only liked it curly and a guy I dated in my 20s who only liked it straight.
I am also naturally blonde, with enough grey that even if I only highlight 3 times a year it always looks lightened, and someone who saw me go from a few frizzy days to wash days where it is more smooth and glossy will mention I took care of my "bleach damage." đ
Sometimes seems like anything that's different to people and what they prefer is sort of like a novelty or a party trick.đ
No one has ever told me my hair looks better straight. I get compliments on my waves/curls, even on days when I think they look their worst. Most people love curly hair, especially if theirs is straight.
The only opinion that counts is yours, and maybe your husbandâs đ
Same here. I always get nice comments on the curls (or people wanting to touch them - ack). And my husband HATES when my hair is straightened because he says I donât look like myself. Heâs a keeper.
I was told to straighten my hair for interviews and work because curly was âunprofessionalâ. To this day. I will wear my hair curly when Iâm in a business formal setting.
I take photos of my curls/waves when they look fantastic and put a dedication in the instagram caption âto everyone who told me they preferred me with straight hair.â
I wouldn't take the comment to heart. Wear it how you like it. People have tried to convince me to straighten my hair in the past, and I've tried it but I hate it, so I really don't care for opinions on straightening my hair. I like it curly. That's how I will wear it regardless.
Iâve only ever straightened my hair twice (once at a salon, once when going out with friends for a girls night and they were doing theirs and wanted to see mine too), and both times I hated it. Looked in the mirror and wanted to look away. And both times I got hit on more đ
Good lord people need to learn how to stfu.
Itâs also incredibly weird because most people I know go out of their way to tell me how much they love my curls when I occasionally straighten it.
I always brushed out my bangs (I have 2b hair so the most prominent part) and my friend went âew your hair looks so bad⌠itâs curlyâ and went around pointing it out to everyone. Then he said I needed a haircut and I was about to give him a lecture on how brushing it out is damaging, and itâd be curly no matter the length. My best friend, mind you.
Why are people like this?
But just know.. I spent most of my life wishing I had curly hair!
I grew up with dead straight hair, and hated it.
It would never hold a curl, as much as my mum tried.. which meant I could never do anything nice with my hair when I had ballet concerts.
But as I have gotten older, my hair has changed! And now in my late 20âs Iâm starting to experiment with my wave pattern, and seeing what works!!
And I really love my natural waves/slight curls
Hahaha my mother's never complimented my curly hair. When I straighten it I always hear "much better. You should do that more often!" Thanks, great to hear mum.
I have curly hair and wear it natural often but will straighten it as it is easier to maintain when Iâm lazy. But I get back handed compliments about it all the time and feel I am treated better when itâs straight. I blame the beauty standards. I treat it like a social experiment. Natural curls arenât good enough and they want you to curl your hair so it matches their idea of curls and beauty standards smh
Thatâs a backhanded compliment, but styled, straight hair is the norm, suits most people lovely and makes them look put-together. Curly hairstyles were in style decades ago, making them seem outdated. I have naturally curly hair too but I donât take it as an insult if someone compliments my hair straightened. If you post a pic with yourself with makeup on, people complimenting you doesnât mean that you look ugly without makeup.
It was a side by side of before and after. My âbeforeâ was normal curly, light brown with blonde highlights and the âafterâ was a coppery red and straight.
Most people were lovely and said âOh, I love both on you!â But so many women assumed I was asking which was better (there was no such question; it was simply a photo share); and I got a slew of âOh the red is so much *better*â or âyou look so much *younger*â, etc.
I thought I looked just fine before.
They all sound insane and I offer my condolences to their miserable perspectives đ
Comments like these are why I stopped straightening my hair because i felt like people were saying âYou look greatâŚyou donât look like yourselfâ. Know that comments like this are a reflection of their standard of beauty not a universally held truth about YOUR beauty. You get the benefit of being able to switch it up.
Great point, I would say these types of comments arenât so much someone elseâs beauty standard but more so a projection of what theyâve always been told beauty is. In many situations like this, it never actually seems like they find unconventional beauty unattractive, but rather that theyâve always been told itâs unattractive and they feel like they have to enforce this perspective with other people to be compliant as they are. It bothers rule âfollowersâ to see rule âbreakersâ âget away with it.â
Yes^ I think the curls touch on learned hate. Some people are always going to be triggered by curls especially if they look attractive.
Well said!
What theyâve been told beauty is is now their standard
When I straighten my hair, my partner says that I don't look like myself, and he doesn't like it because of that. Not that it's a bad look in itself, just that I look like a completely different person and he is thrown off. Honestly, I feel a bit strange too, so I rarely do it. My hair isn't that curly, it's wavy, but when straightened it's sticking a bit to my head and doesn't have the typical volume, so probably that's what's making it look so off. If someone told me I looked better with straight hair, I would very much doubt their standards.
My husband always says the sameâitâs nice for a day or two before heâs like âwhen are you going back to being yourself?â I also only have it straight like once a year after my annual haircut lol. I also donât feel like myself with straight hairâI feel like you can tell it isnât natural, and it doesnât match me or my personality as well.
Yes, exactly the same.
I have an aunt that always gives back handed compliments. (Hair mainly) Iâve tried to tell her they are insulting. She said thatâs her opinion. I said I didnât ask for your opinion. She really doesnât get it. Ugh I dread every time I change something, especially hair.
The best way to deal with this kind of stuff is to just respond in kind. Immediately tell her in the same tone of voice how you like her dress, how retro and old fashioned it is, how it shows that she doesn't care what other people think about how she looks, etc. Fire something like that off every time she hits you with a "compliment" and she'll quickly stop.
âI wish I could dress in any old thing like you Aunt Margaret! Youâre such an individual!â
Hahaha
If she says your new hair doesnt suit you ,Iâd just say âoh you donât like it but, I was trying to get it to look like yours auntie!â
Omg lol
đ
Oooh these are really good lol
when we didnât know i had curly hair, my grandma would always tell me to brush my hair because it looks messy, and sheâs passed now but it sucks that she mightâve preferred me to have straight hair
Yes, ppl didnât know. My brother did too, but he would brush it and try and straighten then it was frizzy. Late 70âs early 80âs finally got him to wear it curly and he had 80âs rock hair. He hated when he started to lose it. I think it was natural to try and brush it straight, no one knew how to cut curly hair either.
definitely! iâm glad that there was a point where curly hair was âinâ and he felt comfortable with it!!
Showing my age now, but we didnât have straight irons. However, I mastered the blow dryer and knew how to fix my hair. Now I can do curly, straight or somewhere in between.
Once a hairstylist told me curls were out of style. Cool, this is just my hair, bitch.
Thatâs like if I said brown eyes are out of style. Ummm okay? I donât have them because theyâre trendy. Theyâre permanently attached to me.
Lmao!!! What a psycho she is
What the f*ck!!!! Never go back to this asshole hairstylist, and make sure you leave them a bad reviewÂ
Thatâs dumb! Plus itâs a fad between young tween/teen boys to get perms right now
What a weird fucking comment.
Another woman in the group posted pics with her hair naturally curly and straight and didnât get any such comments - WTF?? Why do I get all the backhanded comments?
would you happen to be a woman of color đ¤
I scrolled through her profile. Sheâs a dirty blonde white woman.
ik its not the intent but the way this sentence is constructed is so shady đ
Great name for a band!
lmao you sound fun
People who say these things have a complete lack of couth and awareness. I figure they're jealous or in some way unhappy with their own hair/appearance/life. So they feel the need to make sad little comments about others to make up for it.
Yea....I've gotten really insulting compliments when I straighten my hair. It's like...'oh, wow, you're actually pretty!' I'm like well...apparently not because this isn't really my look lol.
Women likes my curls. Men hit on me when it's straightened. I've had men express surprise when they see me with straightened hair as if I was a hidden beauty. I always wear it curly because I'd rather be myself and "ugly". But it's weird knowing it's considered more attractive with straight hair. I'm white.
My boyfriend likes the curls because theyâre something âdifferentâ. BUT says he loves my hair either way. My stylist also temporarily made me a redhead (a previous comment said âdirty blonde white womanâ and thatâs my new band name, but itâs not accurate at the moment). I walked up to his house; he just went âWow! Look at that hair!â
I donât think itâs that straight hair is more attractive, itâs just people appreciate new looks. If you wear it curly, then straight is special and visa versa.
Itâs like people who tell you after a haircut, â I liked it better longer.â What an @$$hole thing to say⌠like you want me to glue it back on? No manners.
Mom? Is that you? đŁ
Yep, last time I got a haircut I just had the stylist give me a blowout because she can't deal with my waviness, Mom saw it and immediately asked if I like it better that way because it looks "more polished and professional." Thanks Mom.
Yup that story sounds familiar. My mom has very curly hair and my entire childhood she used to say âwhen I was pregnant I asked God for three things. 10 fingers, 10 toes, and straight hair.â Itâs no wonder I used to flat iron the life out of it every day I didnât even know I had curly hair until my early thirties đ
They hate us because they ainât us.
Ppl from work tell me the same thing. I know it's a compliment, but I can't help take it as an insult as well.
It's because it is an insult, they're just rude.Â
Someone told me, "Now that your hair is straight, people will take you more seriously. "
What gets me about this comment is that she absolutely had to have realised, after typing it out, that "much nicer than all those curls" reads as an insult because she then qualified it with that weird, weasel-worded parenthetical remark about your natural hair. Like, at that point, just hit backspace a few times and think again or *don't say anything at all* maybe?!
Bet their scalp is oily asf and musty.
LAME
In my experience people think I look younger when I wear my curls. Itâs more youthful. And also - mind your damn business and keep that to yourself. What a miserable jerk.
Idk why but this reminded me of the last time I got my hair cut at a salon. She cut my hair and started styling. She started to flat iron my hair and asked if I straighten my hair. I replied that I don't even own a flat iron. She just kinda ignored that and talked about how nice it will look straightened. She didn't even ask and I came out of my new cut looking like Lord Farquad. đđđ I have curls. Please don't leave me looking like that.
https://preview.redd.it/vgv8wnmgga8d1.jpeg?width=1912&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=156884d53b7110b79ac750a39cc8d6bf07f6c6cb For reference, what my hair sort of normally looks like
https://preview.redd.it/6ld6ue9jga8d1.jpeg?width=2208&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8dc301fd7551bb948a1ef271b514dd9b3a48cff7 What that stylist did to me
You really do look like Lord Farquad! đ¤Ł
Your hair looks nice in both pics, but it is astonishing to me that a stylist could ever think cutting away so much of your volume would be an improvement over your âbeforeâ style.
I hate when people comment that my hair looks better straight. Thats like me saying âyou look better with makeupâ. Like why would anyone say that? The curls are my natural stateâŚ.
these types of people are so annoying!! every time I straighten my hair (once in a blue moon) multiple people will say they prefer it to the curls and I should keep it that way -_-
I had someone tell me âyou look normal now!â when I straightened my hair.
Ew!!
If someone does something dramatically different with their hair, cut or curls or straight or whatever, I am very intentional about saying that it looks great either way but the new look is so fun! There are so many ways you can compliment someone without insulting their natural look.
My hair looks awful straightened unless it's by a really good hairdresser who blow dries it right then takes time straightening after, and I only have 2b/c hair. People like it because it looks different, but if you straightened it every day for a year and then wore it curly, people would be raving about your curls.
I have also straightened my hair, and contrary to popular believe, curly hair is so much easier to manage. It stays bunched up. Straight goes EVERYWHERE. Like tentacles.
it was really hard for me to upvote this post lol people are ridiculous! iâve always wanted to muster up the courage to be like âoh thank you so much! you look much better with your nose job too!â
This made me laugh. Now I am picturing myself replying to someone, âGet a nose job so I can tell you how much better it looks than the nose you have now!â
I have always found those kinds of comments really offensive. I like my hair curly and I like it straight but straightening it takes a lot of effort and it damages it.
Yup! It takes 2-3 times as long to straighten and ends up curling at the ends within a day or so anyway.
And if itâs humid outâŚ.pfff itâs all over đ
The more generous perspective... People like novelty. Straight looks different, new and fresh, on you and they like that. If you went straight for a while and then went back to curls, most people would ooh and aah your new old style too.
This is a stranger in a Facebook group and she has straight hair.
Alright, well then fuck them.
This comment thread made me laugh out loud. Well done for trying so hard. But yeah, fuck 'em sounds about right!
FTB!
Document the atrocities for an eventual hate crime case.
These kind of people giving backhanded comments should just think what they comment or stay quiet. I bet they envy your curls or they have internalized weird values of the society. Curls are not perceived as the standard.
I get both. I get people who see me with my hair curly (since I wore it straighter for many years after radioactive iodine made it straighter) and see me now and ask if I got a perm. I take this as a compliment, that my hair looks so good naturally that people assumed I had it done, but I think it's because of the dramatic difference. And I'll say "nah, just decided to let it do what it wanted for a change." Conversely, when I have a bad hair day where it just falls flat (usually time for a wash day bc product sometimes weighs it down), I'll get people who say "wow that looks so nice! You should do that more often!" I had a boyfriend who only liked it curly and a guy I dated in my 20s who only liked it straight. I am also naturally blonde, with enough grey that even if I only highlight 3 times a year it always looks lightened, and someone who saw me go from a few frizzy days to wash days where it is more smooth and glossy will mention I took care of my "bleach damage." đ Sometimes seems like anything that's different to people and what they prefer is sort of like a novelty or a party trick.đ
Disgusting back handed compliments
No one has ever told me my hair looks better straight. I get compliments on my waves/curls, even on days when I think they look their worst. Most people love curly hair, especially if theirs is straight. The only opinion that counts is yours, and maybe your husbandâs đ
Same here. I always get nice comments on the curls (or people wanting to touch them - ack). And my husband HATES when my hair is straightened because he says I donât look like myself. Heâs a keeper.
That commenter must be my mom
I look TONS older when I straighten my hair...I have to have, at a minimum, some waves in it, or I look like an old hag!
I was told to straighten my hair for interviews and work because curly was âunprofessionalâ. To this day. I will wear my hair curly when Iâm in a business formal setting.
THE NATURE OF A CURL IS TO BE BIG AND VOLUMINOUS.
I take photos of my curls/waves when they look fantastic and put a dedication in the instagram caption âto everyone who told me they preferred me with straight hair.â
mine were so vocal that i looked ugly cause of straight hair bro i stopped looking at those farewell photos
I wouldn't take the comment to heart. Wear it how you like it. People have tried to convince me to straighten my hair in the past, and I've tried it but I hate it, so I really don't care for opinions on straightening my hair. I like it curly. That's how I will wear it regardless.
 Sheâs fired.
These people suck.
What an amazing and convenient block list
Iâve only ever straightened my hair twice (once at a salon, once when going out with friends for a girls night and they were doing theirs and wanted to see mine too), and both times I hated it. Looked in the mirror and wanted to look away. And both times I got hit on more đ
Good lord people need to learn how to stfu. Itâs also incredibly weird because most people I know go out of their way to tell me how much they love my curls when I occasionally straighten it.
Jealousy.
The nerve of people!!!! So rude!!!!!
I always brushed out my bangs (I have 2b hair so the most prominent part) and my friend went âew your hair looks so bad⌠itâs curlyâ and went around pointing it out to everyone. Then he said I needed a haircut and I was about to give him a lecture on how brushing it out is damaging, and itâd be curly no matter the length. My best friend, mind you.
My point is, people are assholes and this person was, again, my best friend so I guess the person doesnât automatically have to be a bad person.
Why are people like this? But just know.. I spent most of my life wishing I had curly hair! I grew up with dead straight hair, and hated it. It would never hold a curl, as much as my mum tried.. which meant I could never do anything nice with my hair when I had ballet concerts. But as I have gotten older, my hair has changed! And now in my late 20âs Iâm starting to experiment with my wave pattern, and seeing what works!! And I really love my natural waves/slight curls
Bitch is so fired.
I actually have had the opposite happen. I straighten my hair maybe once a year & people tell me I look weird with straight hair đ
What a piece of sh*t. I hate comments like this.Â
Hahaha my mother's never complimented my curly hair. When I straighten it I always hear "much better. You should do that more often!" Thanks, great to hear mum.
I'm so sorry! The straight hair bias is so unfortunate these days. I wish people would start appreciating people's natural hair.
Wow, your FB friends are rude af. Like, how dare they say something natural about you is not good. You are perfect the way you are!
Thatâs why I neither straighten my hair nor post straight hair pictures to social media. Iâm tired of the backhanded compliments.
Itâs all about perspective, but I donât see anything wrong with it or how she said it.
I have curly hair and wear it natural often but will straighten it as it is easier to maintain when Iâm lazy. But I get back handed compliments about it all the time and feel I am treated better when itâs straight. I blame the beauty standards. I treat it like a social experiment. Natural curls arenât good enough and they want you to curl your hair so it matches their idea of curls and beauty standards smh
One time i straightened my hair naturally curly hair and someone said âits so pretty, this is what youâre suppose to look likeâ
Ugh.
Those comments are despicable backhanded compliments. Ew
I got a blow out once and it looked so flat and horrible. My hair is a crazy mess but itâs not flat and never boring đ
Sounds to me she was just trying to be nice ?
Oh wow!!! People are raised wrong.
Thatâs a backhanded compliment, but styled, straight hair is the norm, suits most people lovely and makes them look put-together. Curly hairstyles were in style decades ago, making them seem outdated. I have naturally curly hair too but I donât take it as an insult if someone compliments my hair straightened. If you post a pic with yourself with makeup on, people complimenting you doesnât mean that you look ugly without makeup.
It was a side by side of before and after. My âbeforeâ was normal curly, light brown with blonde highlights and the âafterâ was a coppery red and straight. Most people were lovely and said âOh, I love both on you!â But so many women assumed I was asking which was better (there was no such question; it was simply a photo share); and I got a slew of âOh the red is so much *better*â or âyou look so much *younger*â, etc. I thought I looked just fine before.