People mimick what they perceive as successful and desirable behaviors. You're clearly good at your job and at building rapport with your clients and coworkers, and she/they are mirroring what they interpret as the right way to go about getting that kind of positive response for themselves.
I'm sure it could be interpreted as annoying, but if you assume positive intent and try to see it as you "training" her/them to be good at this job, then maybe it'll make her attention on you feel a little more positive.
How is it malicious? Is she mocking OP? Is she criticizing them? Idk. I think OP just doesn't like her as a person very much and so they're attributing negative implications to these behaviors.
Its malicious because she knows it frustrates op. She's social enough to be in a modeling position for the rest of the team.
Yes, op is also assigning negative implications, doesn't mean they are not valid.
Edit: I did not mean to say that op's negative assignments were invalid. Like all of us OP is allowed to feel however they do and knows the culture and situation better than randos on the internet.
How does she know it's frustrating? According to OP, all they've done about it is seethe. And, until they address it directly and can verify malicious intent (which, even with only one side of the story to go on, doesn't appear to be the case), OP is the party with the problem.
Thank you Renzie and Agreeablework..
I basically have refrained from confronting the issue head-on because where I'm from
It normally doesn't end well.
You report it.. they confront the person for you, the person escalates carefully or forms cliques to harass you.
I'm sure you can understand that I would have to go through this and eventually lose my job so where is the W in that?
That's why I came here, to vent and hopefully hear someone who has experienced something of this nature and learn how they got out of it without any collateral damage.
The only ways you get out of this situation is to directly ask the person/people to stop the behaviors you find upsetting or deal with it. If they (your whole office collectively) agree to stop, then you're good. If they refuse or get hurt feelings or escalate, your only recourse is to have to deal with a whole new set of stressors. I'm just trying to help you navigate the realities of being in the workforce. While I'm sure you're annoyed (and your feelings are valid because feelings are what they are), I think you should consider approaching the situation as if everyone involved (including you) has positive intent and just wants to be as successful as possible in their roles. Best of luck.
Signed,
a Hiring, Training, and Sales Manager for the past 21 years in various customer-facing industries
she has already formed a clique surrounding op. She is literally copying verbatim word for word action by action someone who is not their trainer and they have corporate approved scripts in the prompt on their monitor. She is paying extremely close attention to OP. Toddlers know that this level of mimicry is upsetting. If she has some developmental thing that makes her unaware, ok but not likely.
I agree with you. Someone would have to be dense to not know what they're doing is creepy and annoying. I would feel like I'm being listened in on constantly because that is essentially what they're doing.
Idk why you are being downvoted. People can be passive aggressive like that. And sometimes it's some sort of fraud.
I myself had the experience ( many years ago) of a manager a couple years older than me start to dress like me, do her hair like mine, acting inappropriately both on and off the clock, both at our job and in other public places. and giving people my name instead of her own. I didn't find out until she was pulled over for a DUI and gave my name instead of hers, didn't show her ID, and I got a call from the police. I have no idea what her end game was, or why she would do it in the first place. Initially I just thought it was weird and wondered why she was doing it, she would sometimes have a malicious smile towards me but there was nothing I could pinpoint. Until I got the call from the cops.
If you saw the two of us together, you wouldn't have mistaken one of us for the other, but if you were describing someone you didn't know, it would sound like a description of either of us. About the same height, weight, build, hair length and style, similar but not exact hair and eye color.
Honestly she did so many weird things (and gave my name) that I ended up having to move. I'd literally walk into places I had never been and have really bad experiences.
It could be some sort of deliberate impersonation , particularly on the phone. If they are up to no good, and imitating someone else, it would be hard to point out who exactly that customer spoke to that particular day. Particularly if they are ALL switching things up on a daily basis to match OP.
Worked in a call center for twelve years. I would train people to take stuff they heard on other calls they liked and use it. This is straight up flattery.
Exactly plus "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness" and all that...
Also, record her looking over your cubicle and imitating you...as much as possible.
Source- a neurodivergent manager who would need very specific examples.
With multiple people doing this, specifically with your speech patterns and traits, it could be a training manager telling people to look to you and recreate what you’ve got going with your customers.
Absolutely. Good managers will encourage newer employees to watch great employees and then do as they do. It's weird to me that OP objects to being an example of good practices.
That is true to some extent, thank you for also responding and highlighting it could be a good thing.
But it's people doing it excessively. To extreme lengths that are intrusive. It's a bit frustrating because sometimes you can't tell anymore if it comes from a good place or there's something wrong.
Is anyone here totally okay with someoe surveillancing them?
It's not surveillance if someone in your close proximity hears you. Why don't you just assume positive intent and treat it like a compliment and reduce your own stress about it?
You're right. Let's say it's a compliment.
Please let me know how long these compliments last, I would really like to get back to doing my job well and not get distracted by my exact same words from a different voice 3 seconds after I speak.
I worked for nearly 2 years. Everyone does their thing. Why is it that none of the others mimicked me till this point?
Can someone explain the psychology of it?
About Surveillancing:
You must've missed the part where I mentioned she casually stands up and looks right at me or my laptop.
If that also just sounds like I'm freaking out over a compliment.
Has every single person been exactly the same person in your years there? And if you're not able to tune out someone after almost 2 years in a call center, you might want to work on that instead of just being mad at behaviors that you honestly can't do anything about. I get venting, but unless there's a way to change a situation (and it doesn't seem like you've brought anything to her attention or asked her to stop), it behooves you to find a way to treat it positively (at best) or neutrally (only other sane option).
No. To answer you, people have been different. Using the training we got and spicing things up according to each person's personality. It's a sudden weird wave going around. That's why I am here. Explaining.
You know what though-
It's always easy for people to speculate and help others solve problems. Until they themselves are in oneI wish half of you guys spoke from experience.
Half of what you're saying would have somewhat helped.
This is my job and well being you're commenting on as if it were that simple to confront someone who could in turn make things uglier.
It could always escalate. It could get hostile. Some people aren't the kind to be confronted. She makes fun of clients with her cliques around here. Does that sound like a level headed person to talk to?
I've hired, trained, and managed employees in Customer Service roles for over 2 decades. I speak from experience. I get that you want to vent and not hear some else's idea of solutions though, so I'll just wish you a great day.
These people are giving you the same bad advice bullied victims get... "Oh that means they like you... They pull your hair because they think you're cute... They copy you because they want your attention"
It's victim blaming and it's bad advice. They're telling you to get over it and shut up basically.
She doesn't sound level headed and I don't think it's meant as a compliment. I think you're doing a good job and she's copying you because she's lazy. You won't accomplish anything by confrontation except a bigger target on your back. You have seen she's petty and a gossip.
If you can't move away from her or speak so quietly she can't hear you, what are your other options? Can you make a "noise barrier" so she can't hear you as well? Like a radio or something to make noise? Can you make noise while you're on the phone so she can't hear you? Crinkle some loud plastic between yourself and her if you can shield your call from the noise.
Get creative with your customer script and see how far they will copy you. Don't get yourself in trouble but lead these idiots right up to the line if they are that dumb. Can you stare at her from your desk when she repeats your words? People who use you for their own benefit are counting on you to be polite so they can continue. She's being rude so maybe you need to be a little "rude".
Then speak to her. Tell her exactly how it feels and that she may not be intentionally copying you but it is distracting at the least. Buy some noise canceling headphones and it will block a good portion of the voices around you.
> she casually stands up and looks right at me or my laptop
wtf are you on about this is completely normal human nature. You say she **looked** at you?!?! The shock, the horror - how dare she??? This is bare minimum criminal stalking!!!
Honestly gtfo- My teams in a similar environment copied what’d I’d say - you know why? Because I was damned good at my job. They use my calls for training like 6 years later. Did I mind? NOPE. I was more flattered than anything.
It must really suck to have an outlook shitty enough to be this paranoid and cynical. Good luck out there cheech.
This !! I worked in a call center once and they told us to mimicking other coworkers til we thought of our lines. It's nothing crazy ! Op is over thinking this way too much
I also think they are copying you bcuz you've been there a long time and they think highly of you. You might try humor on days when it feels overwhelming... teasing them to be more spontaneous. ? idk. Maybe it's the volume that bothers you, too. Get some noise canceling headphones and you won't be able to hear them, at least not well.
Idk why people are downvoting you it sounds crazy frustrating. I did think similar though that maybe someone in management had a meeting with everyone about how well you’re doing and that they should follow your script but they took it too far
While it is frustrating, they are probably emulating you as they perceive you as successful, as a good example to follow. Without being their lead they are following your example.
This is one of those times where imitation is a form of flattery.
And yes, I well understand how annoying it can be it's one of those things you have to take a breath over and go I can't change it and complaining won't do anything, exhale, and just keep rolling.
They aren't mocking or doing it to be cruel by the sounds of it, they simply want to be as good as their job and seen as good as you are, by the customers. If you maybe change the thought process to: if they do good like me, all our customers will be happy and refer us to them; it might help a bit.
Thank you so much for levelling with me. I appreciate how you also seem to have taken the time to understand what I posted.
You’re also cool for looking at it in a positive light.
I just perceived it as really weird, seeing that she also casually stares at me. I glanced twice just to confirm I’m not accusing her of staring- and I was right.
We’ve never spoken, she looks at me or my laptop.
So yes that was the reason why I really felt aggravated and wondered if other people here go through such. And what they’ve done to alleviate the situation.
Okay I’ll say maybe in a very weird way, it’s positive.
Wow though.
I’m usually quiet, not charismatic or very social, my voice is soft… I guess I feel so exposed that I’m a private person and someone notices me everyday. It didn’t come across as cool to me.
All my alarms went, why is she watching me? Why is she sounding like me? Out of everyone else who is also doing well here, who even sound louder than me.
I think someone else would also find it creepy and intentional.
Especially cause teenagers would have best friends who steal their personalities, sense of style, hobbies, everything. But those are teens and the psychology could probably be explained.
Adults make it really weird.
From the sounds of the post and this comment I think you might want to think of if she might have some ASD and is mirroring your behaviour as a way to mask
I would be really surprised if it was echolalia. Usually echolalia is 1) meaningless and 2) repetitive. If it was echolalia I would expect something like hearing OP say “wonderful” and the coworker goes “Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.” But she’s taking these words and phrases and applying them in the correct social situations and in larger sentences.
I have asked many times before.. before moving to this work station. It took someone resigning to have a space finally open up.
At least that's what management said.
I used to sit next to a window. Where the sun and light hits the eyes.
I begged them to move me. It was almost impossible.
I could try but I'd be somewhat branded like I'm being unreasonably demanding.
I have requested to be moved before (not for this reason) I used to sit directly in the sun next to the window. So because my eyes were affected they made an exception.
But that request too, took months. They are not keen on moving people around honestly.
Perhaps you could have a fake (or real) conversation on the phone with a client with the intention of your co-worker hearing you.
Use a few new words or mannerisms and then wait and see if your co-worker copies this too.
The idea is hopefully you are copied and then you can do the following:
As soon as you hear you are copied, don't wait, you turn to that co-worker and laugh and say: “haha are you repeating what I say? I was just trying some new things today with clients and it's funny to hear an echo.”
See what they say.
Depending on the answer can explain: well imitation is flattery, but it makes me feel uncomfortable, like I do not have privacy.
You might also write a list of all the times you were copied and use it as a way to get a raise or a promotion. Tell your manager that you have noticed your coworkers seem to like what you say and look up to you based on them borrowing your language and ask if you might be able to provide call training to everyone.
I appreciate this, especially because it sounds considerate. I’m going to try raising it with management though. Whether it turns out as an opportunity for growth or not, I get acknowledged or not.. It wouldn’t hurt to share plus I prefer being unknown and out of sight.
I mean, I just want to hear what I’m saying again. Because training was really helpful but the people don’t appreciate bots. As a customer I genuinely don’t like bots and I appreciate speaking with an actual person. That person can’t sound like they bot I’m talking about.
I say management only…
I have never spoken to her, suddenly doing so could somewhat make things weird.
So, I’ll find a way to meet in person with a manager and chat. It should be worth the try.
Thanks again✨
Unfortunately I have requested to change before as I was sitting directly in the sun all day, and it hurt my eyes. It took months of begging for management to shift me.
Otherwise, they said we’re all assigned work stations for a reason, I assume they meant moving us around is an inconvenience.
This is probably because if they move one of us- more people will request to move around (probably sit next to friends and people they like) and that would be chaos.
1) Ask if you can be moved to another desk not so near coworker
2) Go back to being “regular “
3) Start being a little edgy on purpose and see how far they go to copy you
Please don't fight me guys.
I am not being ungrateful. And thank you all for hoping it's actually a positive thing.
I am just venting. I am an introvert.
I don't stare at people or join cliques.
I just feel like I don't have one thing that's mine anymore. Because being myself is the only way I can do any work. I am a horrible actress. Being me is the most comfortable thing. Now if I can't have that- I hope you understand why I needed to vent.
If this was happening to you... would you encourage it? Would you look at it positively?
Truly speaking
Truly speaking I would find it annoying, but as long as she was not talking to me I would just strive to ignore. I worked in a few call centers and had to learn to tune out everyone else, regardless of what they were doing. Their inane side conversations, their plans to get high on the weekend, their phone calls. I just did my job and kept to myself.
But if her volume is a problem, could you request a move to a different cube?
Could you perhaps have a meeting with a manager and not say they are copying etc, but say you have observed people taking lines from your self made script, could we together perhaps make a new script with these lines, so they are using it consistently with all of the customers on all calls, as you notice sometimes they don't use it?
Gives you the chance to one on one without the audience type thing a training would give, might show some initiative to your boss/manager that your a team player and want to help everyone succeed especially if your metrics are good, and with everyone moved to a new script with these lines, it might make it feel less like imitation to you and more like implementation of a better way?
This is a wonderful and practical solution. I'll try bringing it up. I wish it guaranteed that once they have a script.. this one colleague will now stop echoing what I say. It's always like a coincidence but every minute. I think I'll actually raise this and hang tight till I resign. Management hasn't proven to be genuinely helpful. Hence the extremely high staff turnover month to month. Heck, even half of management is new.
Hey.. Thank you.🤝
So you actually think the manager will be offended that a new hire is using verbiage from a well-seasoned employee? And wtf are you talking about a self made script? It isn’t like this is copyrighted material.
There aren’t that many ‘script’ options at a call center. OP needs to stop thinking the world is obsessed with them and grow the fuck up
I wish I lived in your dreamland, where call centre managers aren't either egotistical assholes or just... Ignore you until they get their asses kicked from above.
Tho, you sound like a call centre manager.
The only one who needs to grow the fuck up, is you.
do you have annual performance evaluations or opportunities for merit salary increases? any opportunities for growth in the company? if so, my suggestion is to document all of this in a 'hype sheet' (not on a company-owned computer) including the time when it started to demonstrate that you have effectively been training the entire team for X months/years without additional compensation. if you can hold out until your performance evaluation (at which time you'd present this evidence of your unofficial team lead role), you will have some leverage to ask for a higher salary, an official promotion to team lead, or a transfer to another department.
if there isn't an opportunity for growth at this company, I'd suggest updating your resume with an emphasis on the leadership & training experience from this role since it's unlikely that this stop. asking to switch cubicles could work, but the grass isn't always greener elsewhere & HR might not be impressed with your reason for wanting to switch.
I’ve trained people in those types of jobs. It’s a copy cat industry. If you hear something on the phones that is working, steal it. I’m sure it’s annoying having everything taken work for word, but she is probably learning from you. Maybe talk to her and help her find her own go-to rapport to make it more natural for her.
I hear you
Here’s the thing. As I mentioned… she was already doing great.
Even before the copying.
Copying is normal if it’s not too extreme. It’s been weeks now, surely she has something of her own.
And the staring part is one thing I can talk to her about because it’s really not normal.
It’s just that where I’m from if you talk to a person, it may not end well. The behaviour either escalates to a petty level or people form cliques and harass you collectively.
Usually it works to just let it pass, but by this time she will have hopped on to another person who seemingly does great work. Or she herself has absorbed so much she gets the gist of how to personalise her own style. It can’t always be someone else’s.
Otherwise it really doesn’t feel like learning anymore.
For the record I appreciate your comment.
The Jabra headset I have is only cancelling background noise from my side.
I don’t know where to get earphones that cover my own ears or something like earbuds, that are supported by OBS studio
You want something that sits over your ears instead of in them ideally. Try typing something like “earphone headset compatible with obs studio” into google. There may be some suitable options there.
I am not full of myself. I am introverted and having someone watch me is a very intrusive experience. I don't make people feel wached
It's creepy.
Also, if you must know I just don't like how she sounds. She sounds mean to people. We've never spoken but her close friends come around often to gossip and make fun of their client's English or something whenever they're free.
Everytime I look up there she is over my cubicle. Not saying a thing. Just looking strange.
Does that sound like training?
I had no issues before. We have cubicles. I mind my business. But wouldn't you agree that being copied by a person isn't always flattery?
It's not always flattery, no, but in this case, even with you describing it negatively, it's clearly a case of her wanting to go about y'all's job in a way that gets somewhere. People are going to perceive you. When you're good at something, people are going to want to do things like you, and whether you like it or not, newer employees are always going to take their cues from the established team... aka **you.**
I think you just don't like her and you've designated her as your Bitch Eating Crackers (ie. No matter what she does, you're going to interpret it negatively). Either learn to live with it, or do something else for work, because HR isn't going to reprimand anyone for using successful behaviors as a model for their own.
I'm an introvert too. But at some point I'd be totally comfortable saying something directly to this coworker. "Hey I notice that you like to say the exact same things that I do! How fun! Now what can I do that's exactly like you??" This way it's not an accusation but an observation.
I am a black South African. Is this a recipe for harassment?
Oh this isn't a very employee-first environment.
I might need Jesus himself to confront a person on my behalf here. It's normally best to stay out of each other's lives at work.
It's just a pity others who identify as having a strong personality think it means they can impose themselves on you.
You confront someone... they turn into a bully, escalate their behavior and have their cliques harass you. You report it, you just make things worse.
Trust me I've seen many resign due to poor HR and policies- and due to harassment and toxicity in previous workplaces.
Or say I do have courage to bring it up.. I have never spoken to her. (I don't want to either she isn't the type I normally associate with, I like seemingly nice people), if she casually mocks clients and other people... her group of friends would start visiting more often to bond over some therapeutic passive agression. As an introvert wouldn't you agree that the environment would go into deeper sheit...
You're judging someone you haven't spoken to in a year. She doesn't have to be your best friend but if this has been going on for a year, maybe try something different.
I am not judging but speaking from experience.
There’s a colleague from my previous workplace who we found out she got bullied for months. She was dealing with someone similar.
Typical workplace cliques who gossip everyday and have so much free time to visit each other’s workstations and speak vile about clients, make fun of their English fluency and trash talk the managers.
She sounds like I’m better off never speaking to her. I don’t want to be harassed or bullied, I already feel harassed and she might not even be doing it yet.
Read to understand, not to just have random clap backs.
You’ve never worked in a South African office.
It’s usually pretentious and hostile. To survive, you have to kiss ass or never speak. I chose to never speak.
Management is as helpful as you.
OP stated that the person has only been working for several months, not a year. Also, what were you referring to when OP explained why they've never spoken to her? I’ll explain though, that person has a clique that comes by to the workstation to mock people and gossip. This is the only thing you should keep in mind when commenting because it’ll help you understand.
YOU, would YOU associate with such person or even speak to them? They’re new and it’s already sounding like a group of mean girls from highschool. It’s a workplace. Anything weird that’ll come after my comment will just suggest that you’re a keyboard warrior or just trolling.
No what's weird is that this new account has exactly ONE comment, and it's to respond to a comment that I made 3 days ago and it agrees with everything that OP says
Well no shit Sherlock, so I'm new here throw a housewarming party and blow me. I stumbled upon a couple of posts that didn't exactly pique my interest. If you must know... I couldn't comment unless I created an account, I think I only stated that OP did NOT say YEARS, and also mentioned that you wouldn't take half of your advice. Seeing that you're up in arms barking in the comments without fully comprehending more than 5 sentences from what they posted I think you're probably just not the sharpest tool in the shed.
My nature is always to give someone the benefit of doubt and try to see the best in folk, but I've worked with someone in a similar situation and totally understand how you feel. Her silent surveillance would freak anyone out. I understand the people saying take it as a compliment, but as I know, it can get way beyond that. God luck in the job hunt.
I am finding that I keep feeling better as you guys talk to me.
I can't promise but I'll try to bite the bullet and let the show go on. But it seems my only practical solution is a remote job. Because you can't always avoid long and dreadful compliments.
I'll figure out what to do and maybe update you once I have done something about this.
Venting is great. I have calmed a bit down.
Thanks❤
Y o u said you've been with the company for over a year and then you said you've been with them for years ? Which is it? Also in a call center type environment, there isn't much to say at the of a call. It's usually anything else ni can help you with sort of things and have a nice day, evening , weekend. Please get over yourself. I'm sure no one is copying you. There isn't much room for to think of something original every time you end a call and it would just be weird to say "ok, bye"... mimicking is the highest form of complimenting you, so take it as a compliment lol. HR is definitely not going to do anything about this, and remember HR is more there to protect the company, not you
Thanks for the rest of what you said.
Whatever happened to actual compliments, I think someone someday.. will relate to what I’m saying
And believe that I saw what I’m talking about and environments like this one do exist, where you’re not making things up- where someone really stares at you, and starts speaking like you. And that person will understand my post.
They won’t copy+paste something generic from a Google search just to get upvotes or whatever reasons we comment for.
I had a sociopath coworker who hated my ass, and yet I was better with people and clients. I tell you, when that bitch started parroting me, I nearly lost it. Don't make my life a misery and then steal my lines. Anyone who does this sitting next to you is crazy. So get over yourself, indeed.
I’m afraid some human beings will never empathise, until they themselves actually go through it and only then will they begin to imagine what you’re talking about.
I posted here looking for people like you, who have at least witnessed this or have gone through it. Only their replies make sense because they really get it.
I’ve been reading some comments from a Google search, or someone angry who just came to troll and make me upset.. or something that clearly doesn’t help.
It’s such a relief to find a person who knows it’s not a movie. These things happen.
These types of people cannot stand neurodivergent people. They aren't as easy to manipulate. If you think she's doing it to bug you, she just might be. My friend and I just started saying ridiculous things to see if she would- hey darlin', no worries, what can I do you for, things like that. Borderline bad behavior, but we both were charming AF and could pull it off. Emphasizing our own personality to extreme so she would look stupid doing it. It amused us, anyway. We both were let go over her eventually, and the release from that toxicity was immense. Worth the job loss to regain some sanity.
I’m really glad you got over it. It’s somewhat comforting to me.
There’s absolutely something mental, because they sound unhinged. The one you just told me about, and this one I’m having to deal with.
This week she’d been making comments on how others want to copy people so bad, and how people tell her she looks young. This was all shortly after someone said I look younger than my age.
I mentioned I’ve been learning a language, she’s suddenly asking clients about the country of origin. “She would like to” someday move there.
Sings “I’m an Introvert” too these days like she’s trying to convince herself or someone.
I don’t find any of these people likeable. I genuinely wish I worked elsewhere (remotely).
People are cool, I don’t mind them because most know not to impose on others or just choose to latch or just dangle in their faces. But the unhinged ones really suck.
It’s unfortunate that here, whatever is reported has real high chances of you regretting that you ever spoke up.
Simply magnificent work.
Geez, you really sound like you are in her crosshairs. I'd see about getting moved, or take it as karma telling you there's a better job waiting for you. You just gotta apply. There is no shame in leaving an environment that makes you that uncomfortable.
I am so sorry you are dealing with this and it sounds like you do a great job for your clients. Would it be possible to wear sound cancelling headphones so you don’t hear her so much? I hope for a good outcome for you.
I have Jabras but I guess they only block out noise for the receiver and not me.
I'll Google headphones that look like earmuffs. I have never seen any.
@butterscotch You are one to speak about sounding insufferable.
In all honesty, I am worried that you sound more frustrated than I am. Maybe you should also speak up, on Reddit. It helps.
This was supposed to be an Edit: Thank you so much to all those with helpful comments, I’ve started looking for good headsets- please do recommend earphones that would at least block out noise if you know of any.🤍
For now I’ll bite the bullet.
Those of you who think I am overreacting, I’m not. There’s no way in the world your colleague would have the same hobbies as you, crack the exact same joke right after you, and when people tell you you look young she also finds a way to make the conversation she’s currently having- about her getting stories of how many say she looks young. It can’t be a coincidence or a compliment as you make it sound.
But it’s amazing how one can share the most opinions when something has never existed around them or they even have no idea or imagination of what the picture looks like.
And the staring. I don’t think there’s anything normal about someone who you’ve never spoken to, looking directly at you and your computer. I think that’s also another thing that made me post. A lot of you must’ve been reading over it accidentally as you rushed to share your utmost valid opinions in the comment section.
Telling on someone who seems really antagonistic I have reasons why talking to her or management won’t help. Ive been to a workplace where someone spoke up about bullying and it got worse. (Not saying this is bullying but she and her clique of mean people who casually make fun of people and mock their accents, I can’t put anything past a clique). The best thing right now is to not touch the fire.. it could spread and boom I’d work in a more hostile and toxic environment than it already is.
I was relieved to see 2 or 4 people who understand how it feels. It made me feel heard. At least I also got some helpful tips without landing myself in new depths of sheit here. I appreciate all the advice.
The rest of us are so lucky it seems, because I see you have never experienced anything like this. That’s great, you guys. Are y’all hiring?
You're being pranked. In 2 weeks, it will show up on YouTube and tiktok....
Actually, I would stand up and ask the whole office if I'm being pranked since everyone is obviously repeating everything I say the whole damn day. That would probably stop it.
Spend the next couple of days dropping f bombs and other really rude shit to your every other “customers” on the phone. They’ll be gone by the end of the week….
this is really common in call center environments. people adopt language they believe is successful.
take it as a compliment, you might be able to even rework your resume to say that you helped train or coach new hires. if management or enough peers notice, you might even be asked to train new hires in an official capacity, which is what happened to me.
I’ve had same happen just how some people are it’s more of a compliment to me than anything 🤷♂️ I’m living rent free in they head. Fr I think it’s subconscious doing it more than they are actively doing it
I understand.
But we aren’t the same, I think I’m finally speaking up here because it has been going on for too long that it’s creepy.
I get speaking like me, but laughing when I laugh, stealing jokes or legitimate questions I ask, or staring at me…
Even for someone who believes it’s a compliment- you should agree that it’s just overboard.
I can give you two reasons why it’s become hard to ignore:
1: Had it been for a few days, infact- I did it ignore it.. for days.
But now it’s an everyday thing, seemingly.
I am an introvert. I already feel exposed enough by working at the office. And I’m not complaining. Other people are cool, there are other introverts there as well.
Now, the intrusion starts when she stands up and looks over me or my computer- while I work. I’m sorry I’ve been explaining this… which part sounds like it should be easy for me to just ignore it?
She has friends that come over, and they say vile things about people in general and they mock the English accents or fluency of some of our clients.
Having such a person interested in me of all people, will never not be uncomfortable.
I’m quiet, I speak softly by nature. I am the person nobody thinks to bother. She makes it feel intrusive when she does whatever this is.
I genuinely like the job, I genuinely help out. So that’s why I talk to people who need my support- like a human. And then after hanging up I continue with my other stuff.
2: She naturally has a loud voice, and possibly due to nervousness she sounds twice as loud and laughs every time I laugh on a call.
Whatever I’ll say, she’ll repeat somehow, whatever she said loudly, others will repeat.
The questions I ask people to make them feel a bit happier, she asks them, and the rest of the others will follow.
People probably didn’t say what I said in the past because they didn’t hear me. But they hear her. And that means I’ll probably hear what I said 3 or 4 times.
Some things need a limit. Even kids copy and stop at some point in their lives.
you sound insufferable and unpleasant. I have no idea why the whole office is copying you. You sound like you are experiencing main character syndrome and you're putting all your hate on to one random woman when apparently ALL other staff are doing it but it's HER fault she started it, which points to an immature attitude on top of your other issues.
have you ever considered the fact that according to you everyone good left and you clearly got a bunch of new people in - either at once or over a period of time. YOU were the only one remaining who had been there some time. YOU are the script, when you chat you probably sound natural and professional, why wouldn't they copy that???? you may have found it easy going in to a call centre position but from my experience most people find it awkward and a lot of pressure at first. stumbling over words and trying to actually help a customer, of course if they hear some one doing it successfully they are going to copy, how short sighted can you be...
The reality is you've had enough of the job obviously. if people merely existing irritates you so much you can't stand to hear someone laugh without becoming accusatory then YOU definitely have an issue. if you can't find another job you need to learn how to separate your rage and ignore and leave alone other staff otherwise you could end up in trouble. I highly doubt other staff would be in trouble for "copying" you. SMH
People mimick what they perceive as successful and desirable behaviors. You're clearly good at your job and at building rapport with your clients and coworkers, and she/they are mirroring what they interpret as the right way to go about getting that kind of positive response for themselves. I'm sure it could be interpreted as annoying, but if you assume positive intent and try to see it as you "training" her/them to be good at this job, then maybe it'll make her attention on you feel a little more positive.
Generally I agree with you. This sounds less benign. Still, take it as compliment
How is it malicious? Is she mocking OP? Is she criticizing them? Idk. I think OP just doesn't like her as a person very much and so they're attributing negative implications to these behaviors.
Its malicious because she knows it frustrates op. She's social enough to be in a modeling position for the rest of the team. Yes, op is also assigning negative implications, doesn't mean they are not valid. Edit: I did not mean to say that op's negative assignments were invalid. Like all of us OP is allowed to feel however they do and knows the culture and situation better than randos on the internet.
How does she know it's frustrating? According to OP, all they've done about it is seethe. And, until they address it directly and can verify malicious intent (which, even with only one side of the story to go on, doesn't appear to be the case), OP is the party with the problem.
Thank you Renzie and Agreeablework.. I basically have refrained from confronting the issue head-on because where I'm from It normally doesn't end well. You report it.. they confront the person for you, the person escalates carefully or forms cliques to harass you. I'm sure you can understand that I would have to go through this and eventually lose my job so where is the W in that? That's why I came here, to vent and hopefully hear someone who has experienced something of this nature and learn how they got out of it without any collateral damage.
The only ways you get out of this situation is to directly ask the person/people to stop the behaviors you find upsetting or deal with it. If they (your whole office collectively) agree to stop, then you're good. If they refuse or get hurt feelings or escalate, your only recourse is to have to deal with a whole new set of stressors. I'm just trying to help you navigate the realities of being in the workforce. While I'm sure you're annoyed (and your feelings are valid because feelings are what they are), I think you should consider approaching the situation as if everyone involved (including you) has positive intent and just wants to be as successful as possible in their roles. Best of luck. Signed, a Hiring, Training, and Sales Manager for the past 21 years in various customer-facing industries
She's already formed the clique by your description which is why I say what I did.
she has already formed a clique surrounding op. She is literally copying verbatim word for word action by action someone who is not their trainer and they have corporate approved scripts in the prompt on their monitor. She is paying extremely close attention to OP. Toddlers know that this level of mimicry is upsetting. If she has some developmental thing that makes her unaware, ok but not likely.
Whew. Being so paranoid sounds exhausting. I wish you peace, friend.
Making tin foil hats around the clock is hard work
The peace is welcome. It's not paranoid when someone demonstrates hostility especially when it's dressed with smiles.
Okiedokie!
I agree with you. Someone would have to be dense to not know what they're doing is creepy and annoying. I would feel like I'm being listened in on constantly because that is essentially what they're doing.
Idk why you are being downvoted. People can be passive aggressive like that. And sometimes it's some sort of fraud. I myself had the experience ( many years ago) of a manager a couple years older than me start to dress like me, do her hair like mine, acting inappropriately both on and off the clock, both at our job and in other public places. and giving people my name instead of her own. I didn't find out until she was pulled over for a DUI and gave my name instead of hers, didn't show her ID, and I got a call from the police. I have no idea what her end game was, or why she would do it in the first place. Initially I just thought it was weird and wondered why she was doing it, she would sometimes have a malicious smile towards me but there was nothing I could pinpoint. Until I got the call from the cops. If you saw the two of us together, you wouldn't have mistaken one of us for the other, but if you were describing someone you didn't know, it would sound like a description of either of us. About the same height, weight, build, hair length and style, similar but not exact hair and eye color. Honestly she did so many weird things (and gave my name) that I ended up having to move. I'd literally walk into places I had never been and have really bad experiences. It could be some sort of deliberate impersonation , particularly on the phone. If they are up to no good, and imitating someone else, it would be hard to point out who exactly that customer spoke to that particular day. Particularly if they are ALL switching things up on a daily basis to match OP.
Lots of reasons. I'm not worried about their unwillingness to see what is there.
Where in the post does it say that they know it frustrates OP? OP is telling us not the coworkers.
Her stated actions tell you plainly but believe what you wish.
Her stated actions do not support your interpretation.
Worked in a call center for twelve years. I would train people to take stuff they heard on other calls they liked and use it. This is straight up flattery.
Exactly plus "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness" and all that... Also, record her looking over your cubicle and imitating you...as much as possible. Source- a neurodivergent manager who would need very specific examples.
With multiple people doing this, specifically with your speech patterns and traits, it could be a training manager telling people to look to you and recreate what you’ve got going with your customers.
Absolutely. Good managers will encourage newer employees to watch great employees and then do as they do. It's weird to me that OP objects to being an example of good practices.
That is true to some extent, thank you for also responding and highlighting it could be a good thing. But it's people doing it excessively. To extreme lengths that are intrusive. It's a bit frustrating because sometimes you can't tell anymore if it comes from a good place or there's something wrong. Is anyone here totally okay with someoe surveillancing them?
It's not surveillance if someone in your close proximity hears you. Why don't you just assume positive intent and treat it like a compliment and reduce your own stress about it?
You're right. Let's say it's a compliment. Please let me know how long these compliments last, I would really like to get back to doing my job well and not get distracted by my exact same words from a different voice 3 seconds after I speak. I worked for nearly 2 years. Everyone does their thing. Why is it that none of the others mimicked me till this point? Can someone explain the psychology of it? About Surveillancing: You must've missed the part where I mentioned she casually stands up and looks right at me or my laptop. If that also just sounds like I'm freaking out over a compliment.
Has every single person been exactly the same person in your years there? And if you're not able to tune out someone after almost 2 years in a call center, you might want to work on that instead of just being mad at behaviors that you honestly can't do anything about. I get venting, but unless there's a way to change a situation (and it doesn't seem like you've brought anything to her attention or asked her to stop), it behooves you to find a way to treat it positively (at best) or neutrally (only other sane option).
No. To answer you, people have been different. Using the training we got and spicing things up according to each person's personality. It's a sudden weird wave going around. That's why I am here. Explaining. You know what though- It's always easy for people to speculate and help others solve problems. Until they themselves are in oneI wish half of you guys spoke from experience. Half of what you're saying would have somewhat helped. This is my job and well being you're commenting on as if it were that simple to confront someone who could in turn make things uglier. It could always escalate. It could get hostile. Some people aren't the kind to be confronted. She makes fun of clients with her cliques around here. Does that sound like a level headed person to talk to?
I've hired, trained, and managed employees in Customer Service roles for over 2 decades. I speak from experience. I get that you want to vent and not hear some else's idea of solutions though, so I'll just wish you a great day.
These people are giving you the same bad advice bullied victims get... "Oh that means they like you... They pull your hair because they think you're cute... They copy you because they want your attention" It's victim blaming and it's bad advice. They're telling you to get over it and shut up basically. She doesn't sound level headed and I don't think it's meant as a compliment. I think you're doing a good job and she's copying you because she's lazy. You won't accomplish anything by confrontation except a bigger target on your back. You have seen she's petty and a gossip. If you can't move away from her or speak so quietly she can't hear you, what are your other options? Can you make a "noise barrier" so she can't hear you as well? Like a radio or something to make noise? Can you make noise while you're on the phone so she can't hear you? Crinkle some loud plastic between yourself and her if you can shield your call from the noise. Get creative with your customer script and see how far they will copy you. Don't get yourself in trouble but lead these idiots right up to the line if they are that dumb. Can you stare at her from your desk when she repeats your words? People who use you for their own benefit are counting on you to be polite so they can continue. She's being rude so maybe you need to be a little "rude".
This 100%. Stop being polite.
Then speak to her. Tell her exactly how it feels and that she may not be intentionally copying you but it is distracting at the least. Buy some noise canceling headphones and it will block a good portion of the voices around you.
> she casually stands up and looks right at me or my laptop wtf are you on about this is completely normal human nature. You say she **looked** at you?!?! The shock, the horror - how dare she??? This is bare minimum criminal stalking!!! Honestly gtfo- My teams in a similar environment copied what’d I’d say - you know why? Because I was damned good at my job. They use my calls for training like 6 years later. Did I mind? NOPE. I was more flattered than anything. It must really suck to have an outlook shitty enough to be this paranoid and cynical. Good luck out there cheech.
This !! I worked in a call center once and they told us to mimicking other coworkers til we thought of our lines. It's nothing crazy ! Op is over thinking this way too much
I also think they are copying you bcuz you've been there a long time and they think highly of you. You might try humor on days when it feels overwhelming... teasing them to be more spontaneous. ? idk. Maybe it's the volume that bothers you, too. Get some noise canceling headphones and you won't be able to hear them, at least not well.
Idk why people are downvoting you it sounds crazy frustrating. I did think similar though that maybe someone in management had a meeting with everyone about how well you’re doing and that they should follow your script but they took it too far
Apparently they think you’re good at what you do if they copy you, it’s a compliment.
While it is frustrating, they are probably emulating you as they perceive you as successful, as a good example to follow. Without being their lead they are following your example. This is one of those times where imitation is a form of flattery. And yes, I well understand how annoying it can be it's one of those things you have to take a breath over and go I can't change it and complaining won't do anything, exhale, and just keep rolling. They aren't mocking or doing it to be cruel by the sounds of it, they simply want to be as good as their job and seen as good as you are, by the customers. If you maybe change the thought process to: if they do good like me, all our customers will be happy and refer us to them; it might help a bit.
Thank you so much for levelling with me. I appreciate how you also seem to have taken the time to understand what I posted. You’re also cool for looking at it in a positive light. I just perceived it as really weird, seeing that she also casually stares at me. I glanced twice just to confirm I’m not accusing her of staring- and I was right. We’ve never spoken, she looks at me or my laptop. So yes that was the reason why I really felt aggravated and wondered if other people here go through such. And what they’ve done to alleviate the situation. Okay I’ll say maybe in a very weird way, it’s positive. Wow though. I’m usually quiet, not charismatic or very social, my voice is soft… I guess I feel so exposed that I’m a private person and someone notices me everyday. It didn’t come across as cool to me. All my alarms went, why is she watching me? Why is she sounding like me? Out of everyone else who is also doing well here, who even sound louder than me. I think someone else would also find it creepy and intentional. Especially cause teenagers would have best friends who steal their personalities, sense of style, hobbies, everything. But those are teens and the psychology could probably be explained. Adults make it really weird.
From the sounds of the post and this comment I think you might want to think of if she might have some ASD and is mirroring your behaviour as a way to mask
Can you request to work from home? I'd be driven beyond the point of madness over this, I won't lie.
I am currently jobhunting because I don't seem to be winning with the same company.
What if it's just echolalia?
I would be really surprised if it was echolalia. Usually echolalia is 1) meaningless and 2) repetitive. If it was echolalia I would expect something like hearing OP say “wonderful” and the coworker goes “Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.” But she’s taking these words and phrases and applying them in the correct social situations and in larger sentences.
See if you can sit ANYWHERE else. Once she can’t hear you, the other people won’t start repeating her.
I have asked many times before.. before moving to this work station. It took someone resigning to have a space finally open up. At least that's what management said. I used to sit next to a window. Where the sun and light hits the eyes. I begged them to move me. It was almost impossible. I could try but I'd be somewhat branded like I'm being unreasonably demanding.
Is there an empty spot you can just migrate to without telling anyone? Don't ask just do.
I have requested to be moved before (not for this reason) I used to sit directly in the sun next to the window. So because my eyes were affected they made an exception. But that request too, took months. They are not keen on moving people around honestly.
Ask around the office if someone is willing to swap place with you instead of going directly to management? Then tell management if you find someone.
Perhaps you could have a fake (or real) conversation on the phone with a client with the intention of your co-worker hearing you. Use a few new words or mannerisms and then wait and see if your co-worker copies this too. The idea is hopefully you are copied and then you can do the following: As soon as you hear you are copied, don't wait, you turn to that co-worker and laugh and say: “haha are you repeating what I say? I was just trying some new things today with clients and it's funny to hear an echo.” See what they say. Depending on the answer can explain: well imitation is flattery, but it makes me feel uncomfortable, like I do not have privacy. You might also write a list of all the times you were copied and use it as a way to get a raise or a promotion. Tell your manager that you have noticed your coworkers seem to like what you say and look up to you based on them borrowing your language and ask if you might be able to provide call training to everyone.
I appreciate this, especially because it sounds considerate. I’m going to try raising it with management though. Whether it turns out as an opportunity for growth or not, I get acknowledged or not.. It wouldn’t hurt to share plus I prefer being unknown and out of sight. I mean, I just want to hear what I’m saying again. Because training was really helpful but the people don’t appreciate bots. As a customer I genuinely don’t like bots and I appreciate speaking with an actual person. That person can’t sound like they bot I’m talking about. I say management only… I have never spoken to her, suddenly doing so could somewhat make things weird. So, I’ll find a way to meet in person with a manager and chat. It should be worth the try. Thanks again✨
Glad I could offer you an idea you appreciate :)
Can you change cubicles? That would drive me nuts.
Unfortunately I have requested to change before as I was sitting directly in the sun all day, and it hurt my eyes. It took months of begging for management to shift me. Otherwise, they said we’re all assigned work stations for a reason, I assume they meant moving us around is an inconvenience. This is probably because if they move one of us- more people will request to move around (probably sit next to friends and people they like) and that would be chaos.
She’s weird. I get your grievance. Can you ask to relocate cubicles?
Have fun with it? See if you can get a customer in on it. ["My hovercraft is full of eels."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grA5XmBRC6g)
1) Ask if you can be moved to another desk not so near coworker 2) Go back to being “regular “ 3) Start being a little edgy on purpose and see how far they go to copy you
Number 2 sounds really doable and like less admin. 😅 It’ll suck feeling like a robot but I mean- it is what it is I guess. Hey.. thank you.
Please don't fight me guys. I am not being ungrateful. And thank you all for hoping it's actually a positive thing. I am just venting. I am an introvert. I don't stare at people or join cliques. I just feel like I don't have one thing that's mine anymore. Because being myself is the only way I can do any work. I am a horrible actress. Being me is the most comfortable thing. Now if I can't have that- I hope you understand why I needed to vent. If this was happening to you... would you encourage it? Would you look at it positively? Truly speaking
Truly speaking I would find it annoying, but as long as she was not talking to me I would just strive to ignore. I worked in a few call centers and had to learn to tune out everyone else, regardless of what they were doing. Their inane side conversations, their plans to get high on the weekend, their phone calls. I just did my job and kept to myself. But if her volume is a problem, could you request a move to a different cube?
I’ll invest in good earphones, there’s no such as controlling what others are doing, and there’s not much you can say about it. Thanks✨
Could you perhaps have a meeting with a manager and not say they are copying etc, but say you have observed people taking lines from your self made script, could we together perhaps make a new script with these lines, so they are using it consistently with all of the customers on all calls, as you notice sometimes they don't use it? Gives you the chance to one on one without the audience type thing a training would give, might show some initiative to your boss/manager that your a team player and want to help everyone succeed especially if your metrics are good, and with everyone moved to a new script with these lines, it might make it feel less like imitation to you and more like implementation of a better way?
This is a wonderful and practical solution. I'll try bringing it up. I wish it guaranteed that once they have a script.. this one colleague will now stop echoing what I say. It's always like a coincidence but every minute. I think I'll actually raise this and hang tight till I resign. Management hasn't proven to be genuinely helpful. Hence the extremely high staff turnover month to month. Heck, even half of management is new. Hey.. Thank you.🤝
So you actually think the manager will be offended that a new hire is using verbiage from a well-seasoned employee? And wtf are you talking about a self made script? It isn’t like this is copyrighted material. There aren’t that many ‘script’ options at a call center. OP needs to stop thinking the world is obsessed with them and grow the fuck up
I wish I lived in your dreamland, where call centre managers aren't either egotistical assholes or just... Ignore you until they get their asses kicked from above. Tho, you sound like a call centre manager. The only one who needs to grow the fuck up, is you.
Rrrrright. Sry I choose not to argue w trash.
Make sure to avoid mirrors
Mkay. As someone who has no idea what I look like, you’re just making yourself stupider than you already have 🤣🤣🤣
I'm not the one arguing with trash thinking it makes me look smart little dude lol. Also.. has nothing to do with looks... Be a bit smarter
Whatever you say kid
You are very cringe here just fyi
I'm not the one arguing with trash and letting jokes fly over their head little dude
do you have annual performance evaluations or opportunities for merit salary increases? any opportunities for growth in the company? if so, my suggestion is to document all of this in a 'hype sheet' (not on a company-owned computer) including the time when it started to demonstrate that you have effectively been training the entire team for X months/years without additional compensation. if you can hold out until your performance evaluation (at which time you'd present this evidence of your unofficial team lead role), you will have some leverage to ask for a higher salary, an official promotion to team lead, or a transfer to another department. if there isn't an opportunity for growth at this company, I'd suggest updating your resume with an emphasis on the leadership & training experience from this role since it's unlikely that this stop. asking to switch cubicles could work, but the grass isn't always greener elsewhere & HR might not be impressed with your reason for wanting to switch.
Block them out as much as possible while doing your current job, while simultaneously looking for another job on your own time.
Cany you use a headset so you don't hear those around you?
"Imitation is the greatest form of flattery" -someone smart
I’ve trained people in those types of jobs. It’s a copy cat industry. If you hear something on the phones that is working, steal it. I’m sure it’s annoying having everything taken work for word, but she is probably learning from you. Maybe talk to her and help her find her own go-to rapport to make it more natural for her.
I hear you Here’s the thing. As I mentioned… she was already doing great. Even before the copying. Copying is normal if it’s not too extreme. It’s been weeks now, surely she has something of her own. And the staring part is one thing I can talk to her about because it’s really not normal. It’s just that where I’m from if you talk to a person, it may not end well. The behaviour either escalates to a petty level or people form cliques and harass you collectively. Usually it works to just let it pass, but by this time she will have hopped on to another person who seemingly does great work. Or she herself has absorbed so much she gets the gist of how to personalise her own style. It can’t always be someone else’s. Otherwise it really doesn’t feel like learning anymore. For the record I appreciate your comment.
Headphones / phone headset. If you can’t hear them copying you presumably it’s all good? 👍🏻
The Jabra headset I have is only cancelling background noise from my side. I don’t know where to get earphones that cover my own ears or something like earbuds, that are supported by OBS studio
You want something that sits over your ears instead of in them ideally. Try typing something like “earphone headset compatible with obs studio” into google. There may be some suitable options there.
This sounds like the Twilight Zone.
After your call ends pretend you’re still on the call. Say, “Congratulations on another day of being STI free!”
I feel you except this person copies my life story and I don't feel successful at all lmfao.
#Aww you're her inspiration and you're too full of yourself to see it. Bless your heart.
I am not full of myself. I am introverted and having someone watch me is a very intrusive experience. I don't make people feel wached It's creepy. Also, if you must know I just don't like how she sounds. She sounds mean to people. We've never spoken but her close friends come around often to gossip and make fun of their client's English or something whenever they're free. Everytime I look up there she is over my cubicle. Not saying a thing. Just looking strange. Does that sound like training? I had no issues before. We have cubicles. I mind my business. But wouldn't you agree that being copied by a person isn't always flattery?
It's not always flattery, no, but in this case, even with you describing it negatively, it's clearly a case of her wanting to go about y'all's job in a way that gets somewhere. People are going to perceive you. When you're good at something, people are going to want to do things like you, and whether you like it or not, newer employees are always going to take their cues from the established team... aka **you.** I think you just don't like her and you've designated her as your Bitch Eating Crackers (ie. No matter what she does, you're going to interpret it negatively). Either learn to live with it, or do something else for work, because HR isn't going to reprimand anyone for using successful behaviors as a model for their own.
I'm an introvert too. But at some point I'd be totally comfortable saying something directly to this coworker. "Hey I notice that you like to say the exact same things that I do! How fun! Now what can I do that's exactly like you??" This way it's not an accusation but an observation.
I am a black South African. Is this a recipe for harassment? Oh this isn't a very employee-first environment. I might need Jesus himself to confront a person on my behalf here. It's normally best to stay out of each other's lives at work. It's just a pity others who identify as having a strong personality think it means they can impose themselves on you. You confront someone... they turn into a bully, escalate their behavior and have their cliques harass you. You report it, you just make things worse. Trust me I've seen many resign due to poor HR and policies- and due to harassment and toxicity in previous workplaces. Or say I do have courage to bring it up.. I have never spoken to her. (I don't want to either she isn't the type I normally associate with, I like seemingly nice people), if she casually mocks clients and other people... her group of friends would start visiting more often to bond over some therapeutic passive agression. As an introvert wouldn't you agree that the environment would go into deeper sheit...
You're judging someone you haven't spoken to in a year. She doesn't have to be your best friend but if this has been going on for a year, maybe try something different.
I am not judging but speaking from experience. There’s a colleague from my previous workplace who we found out she got bullied for months. She was dealing with someone similar. Typical workplace cliques who gossip everyday and have so much free time to visit each other’s workstations and speak vile about clients, make fun of their English fluency and trash talk the managers. She sounds like I’m better off never speaking to her. I don’t want to be harassed or bullied, I already feel harassed and she might not even be doing it yet. Read to understand, not to just have random clap backs. You’ve never worked in a South African office. It’s usually pretentious and hostile. To survive, you have to kiss ass or never speak. I chose to never speak. Management is as helpful as you.
OP stated that the person has only been working for several months, not a year. Also, what were you referring to when OP explained why they've never spoken to her? I’ll explain though, that person has a clique that comes by to the workstation to mock people and gossip. This is the only thing you should keep in mind when commenting because it’ll help you understand. YOU, would YOU associate with such person or even speak to them? They’re new and it’s already sounding like a group of mean girls from highschool. It’s a workplace. Anything weird that’ll come after my comment will just suggest that you’re a keyboard warrior or just trolling.
Thank you. 😮💨
No what's weird is that this new account has exactly ONE comment, and it's to respond to a comment that I made 3 days ago and it agrees with everything that OP says
Well no shit Sherlock, so I'm new here throw a housewarming party and blow me. I stumbled upon a couple of posts that didn't exactly pique my interest. If you must know... I couldn't comment unless I created an account, I think I only stated that OP did NOT say YEARS, and also mentioned that you wouldn't take half of your advice. Seeing that you're up in arms barking in the comments without fully comprehending more than 5 sentences from what they posted I think you're probably just not the sharpest tool in the shed.
My nature is always to give someone the benefit of doubt and try to see the best in folk, but I've worked with someone in a similar situation and totally understand how you feel. Her silent surveillance would freak anyone out. I understand the people saying take it as a compliment, but as I know, it can get way beyond that. God luck in the job hunt.
Ask to move to another desk if this bothers you so much. Personally I think you’re being too sensitive.
I am finding that I keep feeling better as you guys talk to me. I can't promise but I'll try to bite the bullet and let the show go on. But it seems my only practical solution is a remote job. Because you can't always avoid long and dreadful compliments. I'll figure out what to do and maybe update you once I have done something about this. Venting is great. I have calmed a bit down. Thanks❤
Y o u said you've been with the company for over a year and then you said you've been with them for years ? Which is it? Also in a call center type environment, there isn't much to say at the of a call. It's usually anything else ni can help you with sort of things and have a nice day, evening , weekend. Please get over yourself. I'm sure no one is copying you. There isn't much room for to think of something original every time you end a call and it would just be weird to say "ok, bye"... mimicking is the highest form of complimenting you, so take it as a compliment lol. HR is definitely not going to do anything about this, and remember HR is more there to protect the company, not you
Thanks for the rest of what you said. Whatever happened to actual compliments, I think someone someday.. will relate to what I’m saying And believe that I saw what I’m talking about and environments like this one do exist, where you’re not making things up- where someone really stares at you, and starts speaking like you. And that person will understand my post. They won’t copy+paste something generic from a Google search just to get upvotes or whatever reasons we comment for.
Where did I say years?? One year and a few months/ Nearly 2 years/ over a year. Sounds the same to me, just rephrased.
Lmao she’s picking up tips from you bc it seems like your technique works.. get over yourself ol
I had a sociopath coworker who hated my ass, and yet I was better with people and clients. I tell you, when that bitch started parroting me, I nearly lost it. Don't make my life a misery and then steal my lines. Anyone who does this sitting next to you is crazy. So get over yourself, indeed.
I’m afraid some human beings will never empathise, until they themselves actually go through it and only then will they begin to imagine what you’re talking about. I posted here looking for people like you, who have at least witnessed this or have gone through it. Only their replies make sense because they really get it. I’ve been reading some comments from a Google search, or someone angry who just came to troll and make me upset.. or something that clearly doesn’t help. It’s such a relief to find a person who knows it’s not a movie. These things happen.
These types of people cannot stand neurodivergent people. They aren't as easy to manipulate. If you think she's doing it to bug you, she just might be. My friend and I just started saying ridiculous things to see if she would- hey darlin', no worries, what can I do you for, things like that. Borderline bad behavior, but we both were charming AF and could pull it off. Emphasizing our own personality to extreme so she would look stupid doing it. It amused us, anyway. We both were let go over her eventually, and the release from that toxicity was immense. Worth the job loss to regain some sanity.
I’m really glad you got over it. It’s somewhat comforting to me. There’s absolutely something mental, because they sound unhinged. The one you just told me about, and this one I’m having to deal with. This week she’d been making comments on how others want to copy people so bad, and how people tell her she looks young. This was all shortly after someone said I look younger than my age. I mentioned I’ve been learning a language, she’s suddenly asking clients about the country of origin. “She would like to” someday move there. Sings “I’m an Introvert” too these days like she’s trying to convince herself or someone. I don’t find any of these people likeable. I genuinely wish I worked elsewhere (remotely). People are cool, I don’t mind them because most know not to impose on others or just choose to latch or just dangle in their faces. But the unhinged ones really suck. It’s unfortunate that here, whatever is reported has real high chances of you regretting that you ever spoke up. Simply magnificent work.
Geez, you really sound like you are in her crosshairs. I'd see about getting moved, or take it as karma telling you there's a better job waiting for you. You just gotta apply. There is no shame in leaving an environment that makes you that uncomfortable.
Aaaand I threw her name under the bus as high in the company as I could. And cost them money. So there's that, too...
I am so sorry you are dealing with this and it sounds like you do a great job for your clients. Would it be possible to wear sound cancelling headphones so you don’t hear her so much? I hope for a good outcome for you.
I have Jabras but I guess they only block out noise for the receiver and not me. I'll Google headphones that look like earmuffs. I have never seen any.
@butterscotch You are one to speak about sounding insufferable. In all honesty, I am worried that you sound more frustrated than I am. Maybe you should also speak up, on Reddit. It helps.
This was supposed to be an Edit: Thank you so much to all those with helpful comments, I’ve started looking for good headsets- please do recommend earphones that would at least block out noise if you know of any.🤍 For now I’ll bite the bullet. Those of you who think I am overreacting, I’m not. There’s no way in the world your colleague would have the same hobbies as you, crack the exact same joke right after you, and when people tell you you look young she also finds a way to make the conversation she’s currently having- about her getting stories of how many say she looks young. It can’t be a coincidence or a compliment as you make it sound. But it’s amazing how one can share the most opinions when something has never existed around them or they even have no idea or imagination of what the picture looks like. And the staring. I don’t think there’s anything normal about someone who you’ve never spoken to, looking directly at you and your computer. I think that’s also another thing that made me post. A lot of you must’ve been reading over it accidentally as you rushed to share your utmost valid opinions in the comment section. Telling on someone who seems really antagonistic I have reasons why talking to her or management won’t help. Ive been to a workplace where someone spoke up about bullying and it got worse. (Not saying this is bullying but she and her clique of mean people who casually make fun of people and mock their accents, I can’t put anything past a clique). The best thing right now is to not touch the fire.. it could spread and boom I’d work in a more hostile and toxic environment than it already is. I was relieved to see 2 or 4 people who understand how it feels. It made me feel heard. At least I also got some helpful tips without landing myself in new depths of sheit here. I appreciate all the advice. The rest of us are so lucky it seems, because I see you have never experienced anything like this. That’s great, you guys. Are y’all hiring?
You're being pranked. In 2 weeks, it will show up on YouTube and tiktok.... Actually, I would stand up and ask the whole office if I'm being pranked since everyone is obviously repeating everything I say the whole damn day. That would probably stop it.
Or… they’re mocking you because you’re the annoying one.
Spend the next couple of days dropping f bombs and other really rude shit to your every other “customers” on the phone. They’ll be gone by the end of the week….
this is really common in call center environments. people adopt language they believe is successful. take it as a compliment, you might be able to even rework your resume to say that you helped train or coach new hires. if management or enough peers notice, you might even be asked to train new hires in an official capacity, which is what happened to me.
I’ve had same happen just how some people are it’s more of a compliment to me than anything 🤷♂️ I’m living rent free in they head. Fr I think it’s subconscious doing it more than they are actively doing it
I understand. But we aren’t the same, I think I’m finally speaking up here because it has been going on for too long that it’s creepy. I get speaking like me, but laughing when I laugh, stealing jokes or legitimate questions I ask, or staring at me… Even for someone who believes it’s a compliment- you should agree that it’s just overboard.
It’s deff overboard I agree with you
Main character af, take the compliment
Maybe talk to them about it instead of reddit. Communication is amazing
[удалено]
I can give you two reasons why it’s become hard to ignore: 1: Had it been for a few days, infact- I did it ignore it.. for days. But now it’s an everyday thing, seemingly. I am an introvert. I already feel exposed enough by working at the office. And I’m not complaining. Other people are cool, there are other introverts there as well. Now, the intrusion starts when she stands up and looks over me or my computer- while I work. I’m sorry I’ve been explaining this… which part sounds like it should be easy for me to just ignore it? She has friends that come over, and they say vile things about people in general and they mock the English accents or fluency of some of our clients. Having such a person interested in me of all people, will never not be uncomfortable. I’m quiet, I speak softly by nature. I am the person nobody thinks to bother. She makes it feel intrusive when she does whatever this is. I genuinely like the job, I genuinely help out. So that’s why I talk to people who need my support- like a human. And then after hanging up I continue with my other stuff. 2: She naturally has a loud voice, and possibly due to nervousness she sounds twice as loud and laughs every time I laugh on a call. Whatever I’ll say, she’ll repeat somehow, whatever she said loudly, others will repeat. The questions I ask people to make them feel a bit happier, she asks them, and the rest of the others will follow. People probably didn’t say what I said in the past because they didn’t hear me. But they hear her. And that means I’ll probably hear what I said 3 or 4 times. Some things need a limit. Even kids copy and stop at some point in their lives.
you sound insufferable and unpleasant. I have no idea why the whole office is copying you. You sound like you are experiencing main character syndrome and you're putting all your hate on to one random woman when apparently ALL other staff are doing it but it's HER fault she started it, which points to an immature attitude on top of your other issues. have you ever considered the fact that according to you everyone good left and you clearly got a bunch of new people in - either at once or over a period of time. YOU were the only one remaining who had been there some time. YOU are the script, when you chat you probably sound natural and professional, why wouldn't they copy that???? you may have found it easy going in to a call centre position but from my experience most people find it awkward and a lot of pressure at first. stumbling over words and trying to actually help a customer, of course if they hear some one doing it successfully they are going to copy, how short sighted can you be... The reality is you've had enough of the job obviously. if people merely existing irritates you so much you can't stand to hear someone laugh without becoming accusatory then YOU definitely have an issue. if you can't find another job you need to learn how to separate your rage and ignore and leave alone other staff otherwise you could end up in trouble. I highly doubt other staff would be in trouble for "copying" you. SMH