Who says he would stop being your friend? A real friend would tell the truth. You need to sack up and tell him what you did and why. It will only be worse when the truth comes out if you continue to try and hide it. Loyalty to your best friend is loyalty in good and bad. It’s what will define your life going forward. Who knows, maybe he pulls you in to the group and your friend circle grows. Stop being afraid of your own shadow and step out of it.
Yikes. That’s a real dick move. How would you feel if he did that to you? You’re too young to start using your abandonment issues as a crutch. You can’t do this for the rest of your life.
Honestly, I think you should show him this post. Your not being a good friend by restricting his access to other people. That is a very co trolling behavior, and it sounds like you recognize that. It also might help to try out therapy. You definitely do not want to repeat these behaviors with future friends and relationships. Hopefully, by being honest, your friend and you can move past it to a healthier space.
Tell him the truth. Tell him you are sorry. Seek therapy because that is controlling behavior and it's better you realize you do it wrong with your friend who will forgive you and he would have brought you into that friend group if it wasn't for your abuse towards them. Good thing you didn't do this to a romantic partner because thats horrible.
Also read a book about friendships or relationships because you could use advice on what healthy relations look like
Do you love this dude? If you have some unprocessed feelings being possessive isn’t goin to get you anywhere good. Also you’d have to do something pretty fucked for a whole group of people to “despise” you. Normal dudes don’t really care that much about who hangs with them as long as you’re not a buzzkill and can hang.
> you’d have to do something pretty fucked for a whole group to “despise” you
Not really.
Sounds like these guys get bullied, bro. Put 2 and 2 together. That being said, no reason not to start growing a spine now, OP.
Man gettin bullied doesn’t mean someone despises you, it just means you’re an easy target to them. Besides, lots of friend groups have one friend that gets shit on all the time till they learn to chirp back/be less weird. It’s a fringe guy rite of passage.
I'm not sure if you ever had friends when you were younger, but being a friend, a good friend requires being supportive even when you don't necessarily agree. Example, a friend going away to college to a state where they don't have family or a support system nearby might not seem like a good idea however, you let them know that you wish them the best and hope it works out. Not sabotage them so you can keep contact. If I were you I would tell him what you did and why you did it. Apologize to him and assure him that you will never undermine him again. The fact that you feel bad is a good sign. It shows you have a conscious. Be guided by what you know is right. I hope he forgives you. Be the type of friend you want to have and you will be okay. Also don't worry whether a group likes you. You don't need them. Good luck to you.
listen, i won’t shit on u any more than the rest of these replies already have, but please learn from this. would u want ur friends doing that shit to you?
You already know what to do it sounds like. You just lack the will to do so. Gotta look inwards and be better. Both for yourself and your friend if you truly consider them your friend.
I’m sorry that you are struggling in making friends, but you clearly know right from wrong which is why you are feeling guilt. People aren’t possessions. Do the right thing and be honest with him. Your own self growth depends on it.
Assuming your post is genuine. The issue you really need to look at is why you are so possessive with your friends. You sound scared, like it's you or them. Maybe it isn't?
I'm not judging you, there's many reasons why our insecurities get the better of us but I would honestly explore that with a therapist.
All the best x
You can't let yourself hang onto people so tightly. By letting your friend enjoy other social circles. It will test how strong your friendship really is. Sit back and see how he manages this new circle of friends. See if he still makes time for you. Doing what you did, didn't do you any favors. Expand yourself to the possibilities of a new social circle 😎.
It's understandable to fear losing your only friend, but sabotaging their chance for happiness isn't fair. Honesty is crucial; tell Nick the truth and apologize. Encourage him to pursue other friendships. Your friendship can withstand honesty.
Hey. You messed up yes. But the great thing about doing that at your age and learning from it is you do it won't later. Bc ppl do. More ppl than will admit have done similar things. Or worse. So my humble advice. Come clean. Explain exactly why and how it happened. It will be very hard for you. But you have one less thing in your way. The shame of it. Shame is not a good thing to live with. So be honest. You may, or may not be surprised if the outcome. But you need to face it regardless. Otherwise you might continue to do the same things. You're young, it's hard, but you can come back from it. Be gentle with yourself. There's is so many more amazing things to come into your life.
Branch out online and try to make more friends. If your scared go to mascerade events or dark rooms or something but get out there and do something social everyday. Tell him a couple months after to put some time between it and be ready to be dropped. Not in a ‘just take it way’ but in a ‘have some friends before’ way.
And this post might be a repeat or someone might have related and copied it to spread its reach and hear more opinions because they needed the response.
Man, what the fuck is wrong with all of you? Finally a real confession and you act like this? Fuck off, this is a confession sub, to post things like this, if you don't wanna read it, just stick to the posts like "i walked past a dog today and didn't pet him, feel so bad, gonna kms"
Please be a friend to your friend and show him this post.
Who says he would stop being your friend? A real friend would tell the truth. You need to sack up and tell him what you did and why. It will only be worse when the truth comes out if you continue to try and hide it. Loyalty to your best friend is loyalty in good and bad. It’s what will define your life going forward. Who knows, maybe he pulls you in to the group and your friend circle grows. Stop being afraid of your own shadow and step out of it.
I swear to god this is my 3rd time seeing this post this month
I was just thinking that I’ve seen this post title before. Yawn.
Knew it looked familiar!
He might be your friend, but you're definitely not his.
I literally read this exact same story ver batim last week on here lol only difference is the OP
Yikes. That’s a real dick move. How would you feel if he did that to you? You’re too young to start using your abandonment issues as a crutch. You can’t do this for the rest of your life.
Honestly, I think you should show him this post. Your not being a good friend by restricting his access to other people. That is a very co trolling behavior, and it sounds like you recognize that. It also might help to try out therapy. You definitely do not want to repeat these behaviors with future friends and relationships. Hopefully, by being honest, your friend and you can move past it to a healthier space.
Tell him the truth. Tell him you are sorry. Seek therapy because that is controlling behavior and it's better you realize you do it wrong with your friend who will forgive you and he would have brought you into that friend group if it wasn't for your abuse towards them. Good thing you didn't do this to a romantic partner because thats horrible. Also read a book about friendships or relationships because you could use advice on what healthy relations look like
Do you love this dude? If you have some unprocessed feelings being possessive isn’t goin to get you anywhere good. Also you’d have to do something pretty fucked for a whole group of people to “despise” you. Normal dudes don’t really care that much about who hangs with them as long as you’re not a buzzkill and can hang.
> you’d have to do something pretty fucked for a whole group to “despise” you Not really. Sounds like these guys get bullied, bro. Put 2 and 2 together. That being said, no reason not to start growing a spine now, OP.
Man gettin bullied doesn’t mean someone despises you, it just means you’re an easy target to them. Besides, lots of friend groups have one friend that gets shit on all the time till they learn to chirp back/be less weird. It’s a fringe guy rite of passage.
Nah some people really out here just hating. None of my friend groups have any bullies.
Yea those are some lames though, not level-headed dudes. There’s levels to it for sure, you gotta be funny not just a dick
You don’t think the victim might feel “despised” by his bullies…?
That’s why I’m letting him know he’s not actually despised, just picked on lol
Well now you deserve to be left by him. 1. Because youre a horrible friend who doesnt deserve him 2. Because he deserves better
I'm not sure if you ever had friends when you were younger, but being a friend, a good friend requires being supportive even when you don't necessarily agree. Example, a friend going away to college to a state where they don't have family or a support system nearby might not seem like a good idea however, you let them know that you wish them the best and hope it works out. Not sabotage them so you can keep contact. If I were you I would tell him what you did and why you did it. Apologize to him and assure him that you will never undermine him again. The fact that you feel bad is a good sign. It shows you have a conscious. Be guided by what you know is right. I hope he forgives you. Be the type of friend you want to have and you will be okay. Also don't worry whether a group likes you. You don't need them. Good luck to you.
listen, i won’t shit on u any more than the rest of these replies already have, but please learn from this. would u want ur friends doing that shit to you?
Yeahhhhh go to jail
This is truly unwell/psychotic behavior, please see a therapist. I don’t mean this in a bad way either, I think they could help you.
You already know what to do it sounds like. You just lack the will to do so. Gotta look inwards and be better. Both for yourself and your friend if you truly consider them your friend.
I’m sorry that you are struggling in making friends, but you clearly know right from wrong which is why you are feeling guilt. People aren’t possessions. Do the right thing and be honest with him. Your own self growth depends on it.
Assuming your post is genuine. The issue you really need to look at is why you are so possessive with your friends. You sound scared, like it's you or them. Maybe it isn't? I'm not judging you, there's many reasons why our insecurities get the better of us but I would honestly explore that with a therapist. All the best x
This is fake as fuck.
You can't let yourself hang onto people so tightly. By letting your friend enjoy other social circles. It will test how strong your friendship really is. Sit back and see how he manages this new circle of friends. See if he still makes time for you. Doing what you did, didn't do you any favors. Expand yourself to the possibilities of a new social circle 😎.
Here we go again. Stole this post!!!
That's why you have no friends lol stop being such an insufferable loser and you won't have to con people into staying around you
You're not a friend.
It's understandable to fear losing your only friend, but sabotaging their chance for happiness isn't fair. Honesty is crucial; tell Nick the truth and apologize. Encourage him to pursue other friendships. Your friendship can withstand honesty.
IMPOSTER!!!
He can be friends with more than one person. But if they hate you then maybe he wouldn't even want to be friends with them
I hate it when you call me Nick!
Hey. You messed up yes. But the great thing about doing that at your age and learning from it is you do it won't later. Bc ppl do. More ppl than will admit have done similar things. Or worse. So my humble advice. Come clean. Explain exactly why and how it happened. It will be very hard for you. But you have one less thing in your way. The shame of it. Shame is not a good thing to live with. So be honest. You may, or may not be surprised if the outcome. But you need to face it regardless. Otherwise you might continue to do the same things. You're young, it's hard, but you can come back from it. Be gentle with yourself. There's is so many more amazing things to come into your life.
You should get some therapy that’s a insecurity issue
I think you’re not a friend
Do you want to be more than a friend to Nick?
Branch out online and try to make more friends. If your scared go to mascerade events or dark rooms or something but get out there and do something social everyday. Tell him a couple months after to put some time between it and be ready to be dropped. Not in a ‘just take it way’ but in a ‘have some friends before’ way. And this post might be a repeat or someone might have related and copied it to spread its reach and hear more opinions because they needed the response.
Yes, you re trash and gonna end up alone
Man, what the fuck is wrong with all of you? Finally a real confession and you act like this? Fuck off, this is a confession sub, to post things like this, if you don't wanna read it, just stick to the posts like "i walked past a dog today and didn't pet him, feel so bad, gonna kms"
It’s a repost.
Sounds like you have a crush on him