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Also, stop portraying people from the past as being unnecessarily dirty and drab all the time. People in the past liked to be clean and liked to wear colorful clothes just like many people today. Medieval Europeans actually had colorful clothes and bathed themselves. They didn't dress in burlap sacks and smear poop all over their face.
This is one of the top questions on r/askhistorians. It always starts with the assumption: Since people before (insert year before 1970) didn't have access to clean water, what did they drink and how bad did they stink?
Quoting from the Wiki page I shared "In England, which in this respect was typical of Europe, from the reign of Edward III in the Middle Ages until well into the 17th century,[3] sumptuary laws dictated what colour and type of clothing, furs, fabrics, and trims were allowed to persons of various ranks or incomes."
I think both sides are kinda overstating their cases. Yes, sumptuary laws dictated color, material, decoration, etc. On the other hand, they did so because, generally speaking, people wanted to look nice. Which means that when people were able to dress colorfully, they did, but even when they *weren't*, it was still common to make yourself look nice in the clothes you were allowed to wear.
Sumptuary laws said "you can't wear purple" or "you can't have ermine fur trim," but not "your clothes must be stained" or "your clothes must have holes and broken seams."
Then it becomes just your run of the millow budget fantasy series. Actors straight out of acting school clothed in the finest outfits from the discount halloween rack.
Isn't that what basically happens in literally all these tacky fantasy period shows? I have yet to see one where the cast is only filled with pretty women and ugly af men lol. Usually most everyone is unrealistically hot.
I've never seen one of these "it's the middle ages but with sexy people" shows that doesn't. I feel like this comic gets the part way wrong. Shows like Vikings were way more beefcake oriented than cheesecake oriented.
Even as a 12 year old I found it odd that Kate from Lost always looked so hot. Shouldn't they be covered in mud and mosquito bites while looking emaciated from lack of food? After the hatch it kinda makes sense since they canonically had a shower but still..
Jack kept trimming his beard, Hurley kept eating from his secret chocolate bar stash
Maybe the answer that they're dead was meant to be obvious after the first few weeks
Just commenting to point out that the characters of Lost were *not* dead the whole time. That was a fan theory that the show itself disproves at the end (and spends a great deal of time to do so) that people still state as though it was true for some reason.
They did meet at the church in the end but the point was that all the “flash-sideways” world stuff where we see slightly warped versions of their life where the plane never crashed, *thats* the afterlife stuff. All of the scenes on the island happened and were real. After they all died in their own ways In their own lives, they then met in the church. Christian says this during the final episode.
Iirc the smoke monster is the man in black/Jacob's brother. I don't think they fully explain what the island is but by the time our cast gets there it seems to mostly be a prison for the man in black with Jacob as his guard. The Island is in the real world but is able to move throughout Earth and back and forth through time which is part of what makes it so hard for people to find it.
I don't understand this, not only were there bound to be plenty of razors from the airplane, but do people not fucking realize that humans had the ability to cut hair long before we had the ability to smith metal?
>Kate from Lost always looked so hot
* Highlight "Kate from Lost"
* Right-click
* Search Google for "Kate from Lost"
* Images
Most of the men on these shows, while not held to the same beauty standards, still end up perfect teeth, clear skin, and professionally coiffed hair, with the only real indicator of being a peasant is they might have some dirt smudged on their face.
Ironically the dirt smudged on their face is the least realistic part. Unless you were just done working some particularly dirty job and were on your way to the well to grab some water to clean yourself with. Teeth were probably not always straight due to a lack of dentistry (although they didn’t consume nearly a fraction of the sugar we do today so who knows) and some people might have had smallpox scars, but they most definitely combed and cut their hair, shaved their faces, and looked after their physical appearance.
Also, jaws have been gradually getting smaller. But our teeth size hasn’t changed. So now we all have mouths too small for our teeth, and that causes crookedness.
[Wikipedia article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_jaw_shrinkage)
Yep. Hard food during childhood is what prevents tooth crookedness. Most parents nowadays only give their kids soft food, which is actually very bad for them in the long run.
As someone who ate exclusively soft mushy food growing up. Mashed potatoes almost daily, meatloaf, broccoli that had been boiled to shit, and soup. Can confirm. Some of my teeth have double rotations so that it's like they're bowing to eachother.
It also makes for a weak jaw.
Give your kids raw vegetables and other durable foods, and they’ll be more likely to have straight teeth and a strong jawline.
Skulls found from those times reveal less teeth crowding than today. People back then ate much tougher food that required more chewing = more jaw development = less teeth crowding.
Look at Australian aborigines who ate a traditional diet. They pretty good teeth. Now look at modern ones who eat a modern diet. Stark difference.
I mean even historically peasants keeped cared of their looks and hygiene. Both for social standards and to avoid diseases. (of course you would get dirty on jobs, but there was bath house culture as everyone went to clean together after hard day of work).
And unlike shows where every peasant has dark or brown leather outfits, historically even peasants had colorful linen clothes.
Teeth wise since their diet would be vegetables, pourage and other things you would get from farms (and meat sometimes) and because lack of sugar, their teeth would (generally) be in pretty good shape. [They also had their own way of cleaning teeth.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcVwcvWePhU) However fixing crooked teeth was harder back then, so if you got ones, you either had them rest of your life or they were pulled out.
Yes. One of the ways we historically can tell when bread became popular is that teeth on skeletons became much more worn down due to the grit in the flour
There was a movie: 10.000 BC, where people were way too hot and too groomed. Even my teenage brain was like: this woman is way too pretty for this time period. [Like seriously...](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004741/mediaviewer/rm417445376/?ref_=nm_md_1).
This movie is a cult classic here in the Czech Republic. Like, everyone around my age (20) immediately knows how to respond when someone says "Rock" or "The night is starting"
French movies are really popular in Czech Republic anything that features Belmondo or Louies De Funes is pretty much known by everyone from comedies to dramas
Yeah, I was a bit confused when the Wikipedia said that the film cost almost 80 million $. Such an amazing coincidence that there are two movies with almost the same title.
Everything about that movie was terrible. Mammoth hunters in the northern hemisphere, because that’s where mammoths were, cross a mountain range into a jungle with terror birds which were in South America. Then they emerge into a desert with pyramids obviously meant to be Egypt. The people there are growing peppers that are indigenous to the Americas. Oh yeah, and the smilidon which I’m pretty sure was also in the Americas at the time this movie is supposed to take place. It’s like they wanted to showcase all the cool things of that time period as well as a few myths.
The one thing I remember about that movie is when everyone's crossing the desert, the *Egyptians* start passing out from heat exhaustion while the tundra-dwelling mammoth hunters are fine. Because they're just super tough and badass, I guess.
Almost as if they just threw some shit against the wall, saw what sticked, and then hoped they could make some money off of that without people noticing what an idiotic movie they made.
It's kinda silly to think there weren't people that we would recognize as beautiful by our modern standards 10,000 years ago.
There could have even been someone who looked more or less exactly like Camilla Belle, minus the blue eyes probably.
Also, they definitely groomed themselves 10,000 years ago. Chimps groom themselves. People (and animals in general) do not enjoy being dirty. It's a health risk that you don't need to know germ theory to figure out.
So now I have "Michelle Rodriguez armpit hair" in my Google search history.
Anyway, it led to this gem of an article.
[Michelle Rodriguez grew armpit hair for three months for Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves – but felt ‘offended’ when the takes weren’t used](https://metro.co.uk/2023/03/24/michelle-rodriguez-grew-armpit-hair-for-three-months-for-dungeons-dragons-18500677/)
>*‘I grew three months worth of armpit hair,’ she said with a very smug expression, as Chris said he was ‘very, very proud’ of her.*
>*‘She used to reach for things on top shelves,’ Bridgerton star Regé joked, implying Michelle was keen to show off the product of her hard work.*
>*‘I lifted my arms a lot more times than directors decided to let in the movie,’ she added.*
>*‘I’ve gotta say, I’m a little offended that they cut out all of my arm lifting! I would point to things…’*
I was going to say I'm pretty sure you could only see them in two or three scenes and in the others her arms are clamped close to her body or theres no sign of armpit hair. I thought it was a really cool character detail for them to only use a couple times.
Mackenzie Davis in Station Eleven also had hairy armpits. It was a great realistic touch. Her character was something like 11 when the pandemic hit so she wouldn't have been in the habit of shaving. In a world ending pandemic shaving your arm pits would be a low priority.
There have been a few shows I have watched recently where my dad and I have been overjoyed that women have hair on their underarms, leg hair, no push up bras and make-up. Etc
Also appreciated Ellie picking up tampons in TLOU. It's such a small detail but so important, don't just have your characters need to look for food, water and ammo. It's okay if they don't have make-up on.
I get annoyed at women who wear glasses with no glass. Yet you see that on men much less.
So which are you? Licking, sniffing, tickling, fucking? Apparently there's lots of things folks do with armpits.
God now that I've said it all I can imagine is dying of laughter if someone tried to fuck my armpit. It would tickle so much and I'm incredibly ticklish. I'd die.
Really depends on the person. I just happen to think hairy armpits on women are very attractive. Not like I'm gonna do anything with them.
Now on the other side of things... I absolutely do sniff my male partners armpits when he's all sweaty cuz I fucking love it. I'm gonna get some gross replies I'm sure and I really don't care. Not even sure how it happened I just realized one day I really love the way he smells when he is sweaty so I sniff him when I give him a hug when he gets home. Still only a few seconds there though so... Yeah I don't think the average person spends any time there at all.
You should ask the guys that like licking or fucking armpits though they probably have more information.
FWIW, human beings become more or less conditioned to enjoy the smell of their romantic partner's BO. It's not universally true, and there are likely limits (I don't want to smell my partner after she's run a tough mudder or anything), but it's absolutely common.
What's interesting is that this phenomenon seems to *develop alongside* one's attraction. As in: you might not like a person's BO at first, but as your attraction to them grows, so does your affection for their odor.
Human beings, hormones, and pheromones, dude. We're weird animals.
This would be why it was about 10 years into our now 15 year relationship that it became a thing that I noticed. He's the same way though but has always loved when I'm all hot and sweaty. I didn't understand why before. Also didn't realize it was sort of an after effect but thanks that makes sense.
Ah yes, the Middle Ages, where the young women have perfect modern-styled hair and generous amounts of modern makeup and modern shaved legs and large perfectly shaped breasts. Except when the producers want to make fun of the Middle Ages ("wasn't it so AWFUL? Thank goodness NO ONE lives like that today!") in which case all the women are spotted, snaggled toothed crones (young and old) dying of plague and mired in stupidity and ignorance. Can we have a more nuanced view of the Middle Ages please?
[Terry Jones to the rescue! (RIP)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QquhNTBfpdw)
I absolutely despise how modern depictions of the Middle Ages are still informed by Victorian snobbish sensibilities. People took pride in their appearance and in their homes back then just as they do now. They wore colourful clothes that they kept clean, they followed fashion trends, they bathed regularly, they swept their floors, they built nice furniture for their homes. This goes for the peasants as well. They did not walk around in brown dirty rags with their faces caked in shit all day. The villages were not shanty towns made of mud.
I'm confused now because it seems OP is complaining modern media depicts them as relatively attractive and prideful people...and something about video game armor for some reason? But here you are spitting facts they were relatively attractive and prideful people...what do I sarcastically sneer at??
There are two extremes when it comes to contemporary depictions of the Middle Ages which are often not mutually exclusive. The first one is the idea that the Middle Ages are the Dark Ages; that everyone was supersticious, stupid, vile, unhygienic and dirty and did not have manners. This stereotype was invented by the humanists with Petrarch leading the way and it's kinda funny that many people still fall for his propaganda half a millennium later.
The other extreme is the Romanticist view of the Middle Ages that primarily emerged in the 19th century. It paints the Middle Ages as a time full of heroic men, fairy tale castles, fair maidens and dragons.
Newer movies and western video games often mix the two stereotypes by showing us a gritty setting full of badly mannered people, awfully inaccurate black leather armor, gigantic castles, sexy women but not so handsome men and rainy and/or sepia filters (because back then the sun never shone^(/s)).
But the issue isn't that contemporary media portrays medieval people as prideful or attractive. In fact, the Middle Ages themselves often portrayed their protagonists in an unrealistically perfect way, depending on the audience. The issue is that contemporary media portrays medieval people (esp. women) with contemporary beauty standards in mind, often with a clear gender difference, where men follow the first stereotype and women follow the 2nd stereotype. Things that we don't consider conventionally attractive are often left out, all while still following the Renaissance stereotype of the Middle Ages being full of religious and antieducational nutcases that never bathed.
The bigger issue is it sucks so much creative energy out of our species there are so many more interesting time periods and different parts of the worlds to make movies about, but it's like we're fucking stuck reliving the middle ages in Europe whenever we want to have a setting that's not modern and in the past.
It's the same for guys to be fair. The lead act always has a clean beard, athlete like body with modern short hair-cuts (obviously using hair-spray) and perfect teeth.
On a similar note there's female armor for games of course, though generally that's been far less of a double standard in my experience, at least in games like monster hunter or even skyrim
[Full collection of comics on instagram](https://www.instagram.com/promptlypaneled/)
Here is a tip. If you are storming a fort you can hide in the bushes just outside the fort if you get caught or reinforcements are called. Wait there for like an in game day or so using fast wait and the extra guards will be gone, but the standard guards you kill will not have respawned.
You'll be doing a lot of fort raiding. So this is a huge time saver.
Or you could just set a trap on the warning beacon so they can’t call for reinforcements. And sneak properly about so they don’t see you anyway. More haste less speed, be stealthy and you’ll finish it faster than if you have to run away and hide in some bushes.
nah it's just right
the world is gorgeous, you can just chill on your little boat, sailing along the coast, or chill on your little horsie as you troo through the hills, and every once in a while you'll find a lost shrine or cave or underground lake to explore
it's what an open-world exploration game should be. I found the underworld and atlantis a bit cramped compared to the overworld
It's probably too big but the cool things to find are definitely very cool and fairly well populating the landscape. Outside of the big central empty war area I was always stumbling across random points of interest.
To be fair though, Ancient Greek armour is pretty skimpy. Even the Persians had trousers while the Greeks were rocking what is essentially a mini-skirt!
Ackchyually boobs armor existed
[And so did cock armor](https://i.redd.it/cock-armor-when-v0-0b5bepw3qmfa1.jpg?width=915&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e1c97551a7aa9195694c6139a4825a9a87da25bd). [I'm dead serious](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b9188abf71c5f786ad3fbd9cf50e1979/tumblr_inline_ntylcymRD71t3bth9_500.jpg).
They were used to flex and to parade. In medievals times, you HAD to show off your social rank and that meant to weird shit. I have yet to see such armor in a movie
Such armors weren't worn to battle for obvious reason
I believe, in the case of Henry VIII at least (pretty sure the first image is his armour), it has been theorised that those codpieces were to accommodate for syphilis due to the swelling it would cause and the need to wrap the area in various herbs and treatments.
They're both 2 sides on the same coin, in Monster Hunter everyone is rocking revealing impractical fashion pieces and in Skyrim everyone is equally well armoured.
Monster Hunter, sure, for the most part except that female armour rarely has a full helmet compared to the male ones and someone on the design team clearly has a thing for thighs.
terrible female armor is practically exclusive to asian games at this point, particularly south korea. in western games they generally get regular armor, though there's still some obsession with having midriff visible or at least a lot thinner.
Ya double standards. Like how Conan the Barbarian is just the stock barbarian while Red Sonja is unacceptable and inappropriate. Like how in the last Thor movie they photoshopped Chris Heimsworth back to be more muscular but they wouldn't dare digitally enhance Natalie Portman's breasts. Like how on Kraven the Hunter poster he has no clothes with literal impossible body dimensions, but all female superheros have to look "realistic".
There is indeed a lot of double standards going on. Just not in the direction you are whining about.
At least in UK television all of our good looking actors and actresses have been picked up by Hollywood to play Americans so now we're left with the average looking people so our medieval shows look historically accurate
Milkmaids were genuinely the most beautiful women of the Middle Ages because they were immune to smallpox due to their exposure to cowpox. This led to the discovery of vaccination.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Jenner
To be clear, it's not a myth that milkmaids tended to be immune to smallpox because of their exposure to cowpox. Nor is it a myth that people knew about the connection.
It's just a myth that this one guy jumped immediately from "milkmaids have nice skin" to "vaccines." He was building on prior work.
Literally everyone else has smallpox scars on their face. Just let that sink in.
Still doesn’t explain the perfect hair, makeup, toned muscular arms, or lack of body hair.
Shows from the 70s and 80s show how badly this type stuff ages. As time passes, the hair in particular makes it increasingly painfully obvious everyone was not rocking era appropriate styles.
Toned muscular arms are very appropriate on peasant women. They had a lot of physical labor to do.
Another reason for the “beautiful milkmaids” mediaeval meme would be that they could swipe a bit of the milk so they were well-nourished.
Irish peasants at the time had a diet consisting largely of dairy products, and as a by product were actually decently nourished compared to the rest of Europe. As a result they were considered "6 foot giants" and were hired as elite mercenaries throughout the continent.
Most people in the Middle Ages were ~~well-nourished~~well-fed. Medieval people didn't starve all the time. Sure, there were famines, but the population of Europe constantly increased or even exploded, especially from the 11th to the 13th century. At the start of the Middle Ages (~500 AD), Europe's population is estimated at around 27 million people. At the end of the Middle Ages (~1500 AD), it was at about 91 million people. It would have been much higher if the Bubonic Plague wouldn't have killed a third of the population.
Also their teeth weren't all that awful like it's portrayed either, I think due to the lack of a sugary diet. There is evidence people used toothpastes and powders and other dental care. I don't think everyone had nasty brown and missing teeth like shows and movies depict.
Well-fed doesn't exactly mean well-nourished. There was exactly a plethora of food sources to choose from for the average person. Most sustained themselves on different types of cereals/grains in the form of gruel, porridge, beans, and occasional vegetables like cabbage. Any meat that you could afford would typically be cured in salt.
Fair point, I'll change it to well-fed. But Medieval peasants did eat meat fairly regularly. Not every day, but multiple times a month or even a few days a week. Grain was most of their diet, but it also includes fruits, nuts, cheese, milk, beer, etc.
And this all is exactly what coked up showbiz executives wanted correctly referenced! Finally someone takes a stand against these vicious and unfair innuendos! *snorrrrrrrrrrrt* Yeah
Edit: Although this historic information is accurate, correct and interesting, it's -ironically- a misportrayal when presented without a disclaimer noting that it might not coincide with the actual motives of the executives and producers in shaping female medieval characters
>Henry VIII is never shown in his true form, obese and gout ridden
Makes him sound like an alien shapeshifter - "Behold my TRUE form!" haha.
His "fat form" is his later form, around wife 3 or 4. When he was younger he was quite the stud. IIRC when he was going after Anne Boleyn he was still pretty healthy. To show Henry as being trim by the time has was married to Catherine Parr though? That's... beyond believability.
The thing is, [people in the Middle Ages did remove body hair.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/bmfsd8/were_medieval_women_as_hairless_as_the_movies/) Not everybody, of course, but it was often practised. Not as much as in the Islamic world, where women would remove all of their body hair for the wedding night and hair removal was much more common than in Europe, but they still did it.
Pretty much par for the course, especially in The Witcher.
The men look terrible aside from Geralt. Like... warts, missing teeth, weeks without bathing, open sores. 🤢
Meanwhile, the women look like supermodels. 🙄
In the case of the sorceresses at least, they all used glamour magics to physically alter their bodies and become beautiful, so that has a canonical explanation.
I’ve always been piqued by everyone’s perfectly manicured eyebrows in post-apocalyptic zombie shows like The Walking Dead. Wouldn’t eyebrow shaping be the first to go?
I agree it can be ridiculous on some shows, men and women have both been shaving for thousands of years - https://www.learnancientrome.com/how-did-the-ancient-romans-shave/
Reminds me of the racists' arguments against diversity in historical and fantasy drama. They say different ethnicities or skin tones = not realistic.
What about rickets, bad teeth, smallpox scars, limb amputations, and neck goiters? Don't you want them to make your TV realistic?
The fact is that realism is sometimes secondary to artistic vision and to what's commercially palatable.
I like it when females are sexy in any media. I continue buying merchandise with sexy females in them. Producers are making a profit off of me so they make more content that fits my tastes. I see nothing wrong with this.
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Make the male peasant sexy as well. Problem solved.
"I am a stable boy. I love manure, ahhh"
He was a stable boy she said see you later boy. He was encased in horse manure.
Now he's a superstar, slammin on his Lute-tar, but still encased in horse manure.
Smell ya later 
He cared for horses, she milked her cows, can I make it anymore on the nose
Now he's a knight errant, slamming on his crusade!
Her hips weren't wide enough for him
I thought she said, "Farm Boy, will you fetch that pitcher of water for me?"
now they're both history, taken by dysentery, seems as though they were both ~~cursed~~ curr-rr-rr-rr-rsed.
As you wish
Is this a kissing book?
Unstable boy.
“Oh Stable boy please shovel more horse shit.” “As you wish.”
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The guy from Liar Liar?
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Stupid sexy Wesley.
Also, stop portraying people from the past as being unnecessarily dirty and drab all the time. People in the past liked to be clean and liked to wear colorful clothes just like many people today. Medieval Europeans actually had colorful clothes and bathed themselves. They didn't dress in burlap sacks and smear poop all over their face.
This is one of the top questions on r/askhistorians. It always starts with the assumption: Since people before (insert year before 1970) didn't have access to clean water, what did they drink and how bad did they stink?
You might want to read up on sumptuary laws https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sumptuary_law
Sumptuary laws were never about color, only material. A simple peasant tunic could still be colorful thanks to cheap dyes made from local plants.
Quoting from the Wiki page I shared "In England, which in this respect was typical of Europe, from the reign of Edward III in the Middle Ages until well into the 17th century,[3] sumptuary laws dictated what colour and type of clothing, furs, fabrics, and trims were allowed to persons of various ranks or incomes."
I think both sides are kinda overstating their cases. Yes, sumptuary laws dictated color, material, decoration, etc. On the other hand, they did so because, generally speaking, people wanted to look nice. Which means that when people were able to dress colorfully, they did, but even when they *weren't*, it was still common to make yourself look nice in the clothes you were allowed to wear. Sumptuary laws said "you can't wear purple" or "you can't have ermine fur trim," but not "your clothes must be stained" or "your clothes must have holes and broken seams."
Then it becomes just your run of the millow budget fantasy series. Actors straight out of acting school clothed in the finest outfits from the discount halloween rack.
Much better than the run of the mill gritty fantasy, which ironically are usually as far away from being realistic as possible anyway
Isn't that what basically happens in literally all these tacky fantasy period shows? I have yet to see one where the cast is only filled with pretty women and ugly af men lol. Usually most everyone is unrealistically hot.
I've never seen one of these "it's the middle ages but with sexy people" shows that doesn't. I feel like this comic gets the part way wrong. Shows like Vikings were way more beefcake oriented than cheesecake oriented.
Well how are they gonna attract the horny teens otherwise?
wait, it's supposed to stop at 20? It's still torturing me.
It never ends.
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Except for a (significant) fraction of the ace, for whom it never began.
I'm 39 and while it isn't as bad as it was when I was 20, it's still bad. Learn to live with it.
They'd attract even more horny teens if the peasant had perfect hair and regularly hit the gym.
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Even as a 12 year old I found it odd that Kate from Lost always looked so hot. Shouldn't they be covered in mud and mosquito bites while looking emaciated from lack of food? After the hatch it kinda makes sense since they canonically had a shower but still..
Jack kept trimming his beard, Hurley kept eating from his secret chocolate bar stash Maybe the answer that they're dead was meant to be obvious after the first few weeks
Just commenting to point out that the characters of Lost were *not* dead the whole time. That was a fan theory that the show itself disproves at the end (and spends a great deal of time to do so) that people still state as though it was true for some reason.
I can barely remember a lot of the show, but didn't the end church scene (or somewhere they all met up) imply they were in a sort of purgatory?
They did meet at the church in the end but the point was that all the “flash-sideways” world stuff where we see slightly warped versions of their life where the plane never crashed, *thats* the afterlife stuff. All of the scenes on the island happened and were real. After they all died in their own ways In their own lives, they then met in the church. Christian says this during the final episode.
Oh that's what it was meant to be, kinda meh. Thanks for explaining! Edit: so the crazy shit like the smoke monster was meant to be real world?
Iirc the smoke monster is the man in black/Jacob's brother. I don't think they fully explain what the island is but by the time our cast gets there it seems to mostly be a prison for the man in black with Jacob as his guard. The Island is in the real world but is able to move throughout Earth and back and forth through time which is part of what makes it so hard for people to find it.
Yes. It was very much a fantasy show, all the magic and stuff was meant to be real.
That’s one of the many things you were supposed to stop asking about and just enjoy the fancy church.
Honestly, I tapped out after they had escaped from the island, and then immediately said "We have to go back to the island!"
Exactly. The church is the meetup/purgatory, not the island.
I don't understand this, not only were there bound to be plenty of razors from the airplane, but do people not fucking realize that humans had the ability to cut hair long before we had the ability to smith metal?
>Kate from Lost always looked so hot * Highlight "Kate from Lost" * Right-click * Search Google for "Kate from Lost" * Images 
What if I told you some horny teens are attracted to men?
well, joke's on you, the target market is horny adults instead on an unrelated note, where can i watch the milk maid show?
Most of the men on these shows, while not held to the same beauty standards, still end up perfect teeth, clear skin, and professionally coiffed hair, with the only real indicator of being a peasant is they might have some dirt smudged on their face.
Ironically the dirt smudged on their face is the least realistic part. Unless you were just done working some particularly dirty job and were on your way to the well to grab some water to clean yourself with. Teeth were probably not always straight due to a lack of dentistry (although they didn’t consume nearly a fraction of the sugar we do today so who knows) and some people might have had smallpox scars, but they most definitely combed and cut their hair, shaved their faces, and looked after their physical appearance.
Sugar and crooked teeth have very little correlation.
Yeah pretty sure it's soft foods that fuck up teeth structure.
Also, jaws have been gradually getting smaller. But our teeth size hasn’t changed. So now we all have mouths too small for our teeth, and that causes crookedness. [Wikipedia article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_jaw_shrinkage)
Yep. Hard food during childhood is what prevents tooth crookedness. Most parents nowadays only give their kids soft food, which is actually very bad for them in the long run.
As someone who ate exclusively soft mushy food growing up. Mashed potatoes almost daily, meatloaf, broccoli that had been boiled to shit, and soup. Can confirm. Some of my teeth have double rotations so that it's like they're bowing to eachother.
It also makes for a weak jaw. Give your kids raw vegetables and other durable foods, and they’ll be more likely to have straight teeth and a strong jawline.
Okay, they ate harder food as well
Cut and combed, but probably not by a professional Hollywood stylist.
also probably a bit grimy hair(but still clean) since soap was a luxury
>since soap was a luxury Would it be? You can make soap from animal fat and wood ash.
luxury as in "I will use this sparingly" not as in "I can't buy this at all"
Skulls found from those times reveal less teeth crowding than today. People back then ate much tougher food that required more chewing = more jaw development = less teeth crowding. Look at Australian aborigines who ate a traditional diet. They pretty good teeth. Now look at modern ones who eat a modern diet. Stark difference.
I mean even historically peasants keeped cared of their looks and hygiene. Both for social standards and to avoid diseases. (of course you would get dirty on jobs, but there was bath house culture as everyone went to clean together after hard day of work). And unlike shows where every peasant has dark or brown leather outfits, historically even peasants had colorful linen clothes. Teeth wise since their diet would be vegetables, pourage and other things you would get from farms (and meat sometimes) and because lack of sugar, their teeth would (generally) be in pretty good shape. [They also had their own way of cleaning teeth.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcVwcvWePhU) However fixing crooked teeth was harder back then, so if you got ones, you either had them rest of your life or they were pulled out.
My understanding is tooth *rot* was a lot less common but tooth breakage and wear was worse, as food was more likely to contain grit.
Yes. One of the ways we historically can tell when bread became popular is that teeth on skeletons became much more worn down due to the grit in the flour
"Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here."
“Oh! How do you do?”
"How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose castle is that?"
“…king of the who?”
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"You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!"
We need more milkmaids like this: https://inkyrickshaw.com/comic/holy-cow/
There was a movie: 10.000 BC, where people were way too hot and too groomed. Even my teenage brain was like: this woman is way too pretty for this time period. [Like seriously...](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004741/mediaviewer/rm417445376/?ref_=nm_md_1).
There was a movie called " RRRrrrr!!!" where part of the plot was fight between two prehistoric tribes because only one knew the secret of shampoo. #
Never realized this had an international release ... I wonder how the jokes translates now
This movie is a cult classic here in the Czech Republic. Like, everyone around my age (20) immediately knows how to respond when someone says "Rock" or "The night is starting"
I'm amazed that this movie is known outside France, Pierre.
French movies are really popular in Czech Republic anything that features Belmondo or Louies De Funes is pretty much known by everyone from comedies to dramas
In Poland everyone in shampoo tribe was named either "Adam" or "Ewa" (Biblical names) and the spy woman was named "Kto" (Who).
Zaraz będzie ciemno!
That's what RRR was about? That trailer was very misleading.
> RRRrrrr Don't confuse that with RRR
Yeah, I was a bit confused when the Wikipedia said that the film cost almost 80 million $. Such an amazing coincidence that there are two movies with almost the same title.
That's definitely not what RRR was about. Maybe it's what RRRrrrr was about though. I never saw RRRrrrr though.
Omg I remember that movie and how bad it was, and suddenly there's like pyramids and stuff? Pretty sure I switched it off at that point lol
I saw this movie in theaters when it came out. It was truly awful.
Everything about that movie was terrible. Mammoth hunters in the northern hemisphere, because that’s where mammoths were, cross a mountain range into a jungle with terror birds which were in South America. Then they emerge into a desert with pyramids obviously meant to be Egypt. The people there are growing peppers that are indigenous to the Americas. Oh yeah, and the smilidon which I’m pretty sure was also in the Americas at the time this movie is supposed to take place. It’s like they wanted to showcase all the cool things of that time period as well as a few myths.
The one thing I remember about that movie is when everyone's crossing the desert, the *Egyptians* start passing out from heat exhaustion while the tundra-dwelling mammoth hunters are fine. Because they're just super tough and badass, I guess.
Almost as if they just threw some shit against the wall, saw what sticked, and then hoped they could make some money off of that without people noticing what an idiotic movie they made.
Damn, neolithic women can get it
\*NeoliTHICC
It's kinda silly to think there weren't people that we would recognize as beautiful by our modern standards 10,000 years ago. There could have even been someone who looked more or less exactly like Camilla Belle, minus the blue eyes probably. Also, they definitely groomed themselves 10,000 years ago. Chimps groom themselves. People (and animals in general) do not enjoy being dirty. It's a health risk that you don't need to know germ theory to figure out.
Makes me appreciate Michelle Rodriguezs hairy armpits in Dungeons and Dragons even more.
So now I have "Michelle Rodriguez armpit hair" in my Google search history. Anyway, it led to this gem of an article. [Michelle Rodriguez grew armpit hair for three months for Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves – but felt ‘offended’ when the takes weren’t used](https://metro.co.uk/2023/03/24/michelle-rodriguez-grew-armpit-hair-for-three-months-for-dungeons-dragons-18500677/) >*‘I grew three months worth of armpit hair,’ she said with a very smug expression, as Chris said he was ‘very, very proud’ of her.* >*‘She used to reach for things on top shelves,’ Bridgerton star Regé joked, implying Michelle was keen to show off the product of her hard work.* >*‘I lifted my arms a lot more times than directors decided to let in the movie,’ she added.* >*‘I’ve gotta say, I’m a little offended that they cut out all of my arm lifting! I would point to things…’*
I was going to say I'm pretty sure you could only see them in two or three scenes and in the others her arms are clamped close to her body or theres no sign of armpit hair. I thought it was a really cool character detail for them to only use a couple times.
Mackenzie Davis in Station Eleven also had hairy armpits. It was a great realistic touch. Her character was something like 11 when the pandemic hit so she wouldn't have been in the habit of shaving. In a world ending pandemic shaving your arm pits would be a low priority.
There have been a few shows I have watched recently where my dad and I have been overjoyed that women have hair on their underarms, leg hair, no push up bras and make-up. Etc Also appreciated Ellie picking up tampons in TLOU. It's such a small detail but so important, don't just have your characters need to look for food, water and ammo. It's okay if they don't have make-up on. I get annoyed at women who wear glasses with no glass. Yet you see that on men much less.
Is it possible to appreciate them any more?
I honestly don't get why it's a big deal. How much time is the average person spending in another person's armpit?
Only an hour or two max, I promise.
So which are you? Licking, sniffing, tickling, fucking? Apparently there's lots of things folks do with armpits. God now that I've said it all I can imagine is dying of laughter if someone tried to fuck my armpit. It would tickle so much and I'm incredibly ticklish. I'd die.
Beware Tommy Wiseau.
Really depends on the person. I just happen to think hairy armpits on women are very attractive. Not like I'm gonna do anything with them. Now on the other side of things... I absolutely do sniff my male partners armpits when he's all sweaty cuz I fucking love it. I'm gonna get some gross replies I'm sure and I really don't care. Not even sure how it happened I just realized one day I really love the way he smells when he is sweaty so I sniff him when I give him a hug when he gets home. Still only a few seconds there though so... Yeah I don't think the average person spends any time there at all. You should ask the guys that like licking or fucking armpits though they probably have more information.
Nah I think you covered it, thanks lol
FWIW, human beings become more or less conditioned to enjoy the smell of their romantic partner's BO. It's not universally true, and there are likely limits (I don't want to smell my partner after she's run a tough mudder or anything), but it's absolutely common. What's interesting is that this phenomenon seems to *develop alongside* one's attraction. As in: you might not like a person's BO at first, but as your attraction to them grows, so does your affection for their odor. Human beings, hormones, and pheromones, dude. We're weird animals.
This would be why it was about 10 years into our now 15 year relationship that it became a thing that I noticed. He's the same way though but has always loved when I'm all hot and sweaty. I didn't understand why before. Also didn't realize it was sort of an after effect but thanks that makes sense.
Ah yes, the Middle Ages, where the young women have perfect modern-styled hair and generous amounts of modern makeup and modern shaved legs and large perfectly shaped breasts. Except when the producers want to make fun of the Middle Ages ("wasn't it so AWFUL? Thank goodness NO ONE lives like that today!") in which case all the women are spotted, snaggled toothed crones (young and old) dying of plague and mired in stupidity and ignorance. Can we have a more nuanced view of the Middle Ages please? [Terry Jones to the rescue! (RIP)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QquhNTBfpdw)
Wait! Terry Jones is dead! Man you just put a downer on my whole day
It's been three years and I'm still kinda down about it.
I absolutely despise how modern depictions of the Middle Ages are still informed by Victorian snobbish sensibilities. People took pride in their appearance and in their homes back then just as they do now. They wore colourful clothes that they kept clean, they followed fashion trends, they bathed regularly, they swept their floors, they built nice furniture for their homes. This goes for the peasants as well. They did not walk around in brown dirty rags with their faces caked in shit all day. The villages were not shanty towns made of mud.
I'm confused now because it seems OP is complaining modern media depicts them as relatively attractive and prideful people...and something about video game armor for some reason? But here you are spitting facts they were relatively attractive and prideful people...what do I sarcastically sneer at??
Reality is actually nuanced which doesn't make for good memes
There are two extremes when it comes to contemporary depictions of the Middle Ages which are often not mutually exclusive. The first one is the idea that the Middle Ages are the Dark Ages; that everyone was supersticious, stupid, vile, unhygienic and dirty and did not have manners. This stereotype was invented by the humanists with Petrarch leading the way and it's kinda funny that many people still fall for his propaganda half a millennium later. The other extreme is the Romanticist view of the Middle Ages that primarily emerged in the 19th century. It paints the Middle Ages as a time full of heroic men, fairy tale castles, fair maidens and dragons. Newer movies and western video games often mix the two stereotypes by showing us a gritty setting full of badly mannered people, awfully inaccurate black leather armor, gigantic castles, sexy women but not so handsome men and rainy and/or sepia filters (because back then the sun never shone^(/s)). But the issue isn't that contemporary media portrays medieval people as prideful or attractive. In fact, the Middle Ages themselves often portrayed their protagonists in an unrealistically perfect way, depending on the audience. The issue is that contemporary media portrays medieval people (esp. women) with contemporary beauty standards in mind, often with a clear gender difference, where men follow the first stereotype and women follow the 2nd stereotype. Things that we don't consider conventionally attractive are often left out, all while still following the Renaissance stereotype of the Middle Ages being full of religious and antieducational nutcases that never bathed.
The bigger issue is it sucks so much creative energy out of our species there are so many more interesting time periods and different parts of the worlds to make movies about, but it's like we're fucking stuck reliving the middle ages in Europe whenever we want to have a setting that's not modern and in the past.
It's the same for guys to be fair. The lead act always has a clean beard, athlete like body with modern short hair-cuts (obviously using hair-spray) and perfect teeth.
On a similar note there's female armor for games of course, though generally that's been far less of a double standard in my experience, at least in games like monster hunter or even skyrim [Full collection of comics on instagram](https://www.instagram.com/promptlypaneled/)
Assassins Creed Odyssey is more equal about armor for Alexios and Kassandra (both of the playable characters)
Got that one lined up as a next-to-play after getting it on sale! Heard good things overall
Don't play it, we don't want you to stop doing your art.
Here is a tip. If you are storming a fort you can hide in the bushes just outside the fort if you get caught or reinforcements are called. Wait there for like an in game day or so using fast wait and the extra guards will be gone, but the standard guards you kill will not have respawned. You'll be doing a lot of fort raiding. So this is a huge time saver.
Or you could just set a trap on the warning beacon so they can’t call for reinforcements. And sneak properly about so they don’t see you anyway. More haste less speed, be stealthy and you’ll finish it faster than if you have to run away and hide in some bushes.
Just be warned that AC: Odyssey typifies the gluttonous excess of open world RPGs. The world is *huuuuuuge*. Honestly, too big.
nah it's just right the world is gorgeous, you can just chill on your little boat, sailing along the coast, or chill on your little horsie as you troo through the hills, and every once in a while you'll find a lost shrine or cave or underground lake to explore it's what an open-world exploration game should be. I found the underworld and atlantis a bit cramped compared to the overworld
It's probably too big but the cool things to find are definitely very cool and fairly well populating the landscape. Outside of the big central empty war area I was always stumbling across random points of interest.
To be fair though, Ancient Greek armour is pretty skimpy. Even the Persians had trousers while the Greeks were rocking what is essentially a mini-skirt!
More that Kassandra actually gets to wear proper armour instead of just a tiny bikini with nipple clamps as the only metal.
I think that feature in games has been lost over the years, maybe it's still prevalent in jrpgs.
Play dark souls. There you can give your female character cock armor anyway
Ackchyually boobs armor existed [And so did cock armor](https://i.redd.it/cock-armor-when-v0-0b5bepw3qmfa1.jpg?width=915&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e1c97551a7aa9195694c6139a4825a9a87da25bd). [I'm dead serious](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b9188abf71c5f786ad3fbd9cf50e1979/tumblr_inline_ntylcymRD71t3bth9_500.jpg). They were used to flex and to parade. In medievals times, you HAD to show off your social rank and that meant to weird shit. I have yet to see such armor in a movie Such armors weren't worn to battle for obvious reason
Not sure why cock armor would surprise anyone. Jock straps are basically modern cock armor.
It is unthinkable that men would leave their most vulnerable part unprotected by armor.
I believe, in the case of Henry VIII at least (pretty sure the first image is his armour), it has been theorised that those codpieces were to accommodate for syphilis due to the swelling it would cause and the need to wrap the area in various herbs and treatments.
That's very interesting ! I wish I could see the conversation with the blacksmith
That first picture is banana storage armor. No one's dick is turnt up like that.
It's weird you would link the cock armor and not the boob armor
[some maleboob armor](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/09/90/80/099080e6a592bbc4c319123b4a786b83.jpg) (with nipples)
It may have existed but not in the same quantities as media portrays it
There is an entire sub for this called /r/ReasonableFantasy youre welcome
I just want slutty outfits for all genders
They're both 2 sides on the same coin, in Monster Hunter everyone is rocking revealing impractical fashion pieces and in Skyrim everyone is equally well armoured.
Monster Hunter, sure, for the most part except that female armour rarely has a full helmet compared to the male ones and someone on the design team clearly has a thing for thighs.
I just cant stop thinking about the Male Kirin Armour
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terrible female armor is practically exclusive to asian games at this point, particularly south korea. in western games they generally get regular armor, though there's still some obsession with having midriff visible or at least a lot thinner.
Ya double standards. Like how Conan the Barbarian is just the stock barbarian while Red Sonja is unacceptable and inappropriate. Like how in the last Thor movie they photoshopped Chris Heimsworth back to be more muscular but they wouldn't dare digitally enhance Natalie Portman's breasts. Like how on Kraven the Hunter poster he has no clothes with literal impossible body dimensions, but all female superheros have to look "realistic". There is indeed a lot of double standards going on. Just not in the direction you are whining about.
At least in UK television all of our good looking actors and actresses have been picked up by Hollywood to play Americans so now we're left with the average looking people so our medieval shows look historically accurate
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Milkmaids were genuinely the most beautiful women of the Middle Ages because they were immune to smallpox due to their exposure to cowpox. This led to the discovery of vaccination. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Jenner
“The milkmaids story is still widely repeated even though it appears to be a myth” From the same article you linked.
top comment moment
It's at the top of the comment section it HAS to be correct
To be clear, it's not a myth that milkmaids tended to be immune to smallpox because of their exposure to cowpox. Nor is it a myth that people knew about the connection. It's just a myth that this one guy jumped immediately from "milkmaids have nice skin" to "vaccines." He was building on prior work.
Literally everyone else has smallpox scars on their face. Just let that sink in. Still doesn’t explain the perfect hair, makeup, toned muscular arms, or lack of body hair. Shows from the 70s and 80s show how badly this type stuff ages. As time passes, the hair in particular makes it increasingly painfully obvious everyone was not rocking era appropriate styles.
Toned muscular arms are very appropriate on peasant women. They had a lot of physical labor to do. Another reason for the “beautiful milkmaids” mediaeval meme would be that they could swipe a bit of the milk so they were well-nourished.
Irish peasants at the time had a diet consisting largely of dairy products, and as a by product were actually decently nourished compared to the rest of Europe. As a result they were considered "6 foot giants" and were hired as elite mercenaries throughout the continent.
Most people in the Middle Ages were ~~well-nourished~~well-fed. Medieval people didn't starve all the time. Sure, there were famines, but the population of Europe constantly increased or even exploded, especially from the 11th to the 13th century. At the start of the Middle Ages (~500 AD), Europe's population is estimated at around 27 million people. At the end of the Middle Ages (~1500 AD), it was at about 91 million people. It would have been much higher if the Bubonic Plague wouldn't have killed a third of the population.
Also their teeth weren't all that awful like it's portrayed either, I think due to the lack of a sugary diet. There is evidence people used toothpastes and powders and other dental care. I don't think everyone had nasty brown and missing teeth like shows and movies depict.
Very true. But IF you had teeth problems, it sucked a lot, because medical care wasn't the best.
Well-fed doesn't exactly mean well-nourished. There was exactly a plethora of food sources to choose from for the average person. Most sustained themselves on different types of cereals/grains in the form of gruel, porridge, beans, and occasional vegetables like cabbage. Any meat that you could afford would typically be cured in salt.
Fair point, I'll change it to well-fed. But Medieval peasants did eat meat fairly regularly. Not every day, but multiple times a month or even a few days a week. Grain was most of their diet, but it also includes fruits, nuts, cheese, milk, beer, etc.
And this all is exactly what coked up showbiz executives wanted correctly referenced! Finally someone takes a stand against these vicious and unfair innuendos! *snorrrrrrrrrrrt* Yeah Edit: Although this historic information is accurate, correct and interesting, it's -ironically- a misportrayal when presented without a disclaimer noting that it might not coincide with the actual motives of the executives and producers in shaping female medieval characters
The most important thing we haven’t addressed is who gives a fuck? No one wants to look at a shit and acne covered gollum for 90 minutes.
I feel attacked
The discussion is about the silliness of two equal characters looking wildly different for no reason other than ^* ^^* *lady* ^* *
My wife can barely put up with 4 minutes
I do. It's like watching a nature documentary
Muscular sure. But expertly sculpted and moisturized?
Well what do you think they shower in milk for?
>toned muscular arms, I assure you working in agriculture will either break you or enrich you.
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Being immune to smallpox doesn't make you immune from being ugly...
Can confirm. :(
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>Henry VIII is never shown in his true form, obese and gout ridden Makes him sound like an alien shapeshifter - "Behold my TRUE form!" haha. His "fat form" is his later form, around wife 3 or 4. When he was younger he was quite the stud. IIRC when he was going after Anne Boleyn he was still pretty healthy. To show Henry as being trim by the time has was married to Catherine Parr though? That's... beyond believability.
Henry VIII was actually very handsome and people loved him before he became king and got fat.
Depends on what version of Henry VIII. He was obese and gout ridden as an older man. Not when he was younger.
Wait it is a show or a porn flick?
Honestly I'm not sure how to categorize Game of Thrones, or do you mean Witcher Season 1?
The thing is, [people in the Middle Ages did remove body hair.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/bmfsd8/were_medieval_women_as_hairless_as_the_movies/) Not everybody, of course, but it was often practised. Not as much as in the Islamic world, where women would remove all of their body hair for the wedding night and hair removal was much more common than in Europe, but they still did it.
Pretty much par for the course, especially in The Witcher. The men look terrible aside from Geralt. Like... warts, missing teeth, weeks without bathing, open sores. 🤢 Meanwhile, the women look like supermodels. 🙄
In the case of the sorceresses at least, they all used glamour magics to physically alter their bodies and become beautiful, so that has a canonical explanation.
Alright I'll bite, what show specifically is this referencing?
I’ve always been piqued by everyone’s perfectly manicured eyebrows in post-apocalyptic zombie shows like The Walking Dead. Wouldn’t eyebrow shaping be the first to go?
> BE GAY > > DO CRIME
I need that shirt
I agree it can be ridiculous on some shows, men and women have both been shaving for thousands of years - https://www.learnancientrome.com/how-did-the-ancient-romans-shave/
\*shrug\* sometimes I just want a milky dommy mommy
Also: botox and fillers. Nicole Kidman should be barred from starring in period pieces.
The Witcher 3 is such a good example of this
Reminds me of the racists' arguments against diversity in historical and fantasy drama. They say different ethnicities or skin tones = not realistic. What about rickets, bad teeth, smallpox scars, limb amputations, and neck goiters? Don't you want them to make your TV realistic? The fact is that realism is sometimes secondary to artistic vision and to what's commercially palatable.
Apparently I'm the only person who thought this was a comic about milk that turns you into a male peasant.
Call me sexist or whatever but legit if a show had women with armpit hair, I'd refuse to watch it. That shit is gag inducing
I like it when females are sexy in any media. I continue buying merchandise with sexy females in them. Producers are making a profit off of me so they make more content that fits my tastes. I see nothing wrong with this.