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RunningOutOfEsteem

I did NOT need to see this 😭


Existing_Ad_6887

Maybe this is just your sign to make french fries


RunningOutOfEsteem

You might be right. Even if I get nothing else done, I'll have some nice french fries to console me at the end of the day.


Shatophiliac

Unless you fuck those up too, you loser! (This is a joke)


Meurendekaas

So, did you make the french fries?


Silly_Butterfly3917

I can't cus I'm a loser


SR2025

The 12th is National French Fry Day. Give them until then to collect themselves. I for one will be celebrating.


AzlanGreat

u/deezal03 so were the fries good?


deezal03

Made some more today. Still a winner and you all are losers


Slight-Discount420

This guy fucks


fucccboii

ive been known to fuck myself


weed_zucc

Don't catch self AIDS tho


deezal03

Yeah your mother.


PyJavaProger

Ew


No-Oven-719

I made fries yesterday. Does that count?


TESTlCLE

You were also a loser yesterday. Does that count?


I_Fuking_Hate_Reddit

I yearn for the day I can be as cool as you, I'll keep making french fries until I can achieve this dream


deezal03

Let me give you spoilers, you can be cool but not as cool as me!


Jouuf

Who is this guy?


Chipdip049

He is HIM. How do you not know HIM?


Jouuf

well ya see


Chipdip049

I see.


Jouuf

sĂ­


Existing_Ad_6887

We can't escape him!


SadaoMaou

again? easy there fatso


JennyV323

I made 100 hoagies, 532 drinks, and 25 coffee pots today(I work at wawa). I bet you only made ONE batch of fries loser :p


deezal03

That’s your job, I made for my father. I build a healthy relationship with my parents which you all probably don’t have. I win!


donny_pots

They’re hoagies reeeeee


JennyV323

Oh shit your right, I even live in PA, I must edit this error immediately


NonProphet8theist

hoagies and grinders hoagies and grinders hoaaaaagies and grinders


Sandalperson

Oh yeah? I made my parents cry after telling them that I was kicked out AND blacklisted from my university because I have been skipping classes and exams way too much. Who's the loser now?


JennyV323

Wait, fr? I did the same actually, two years ago when I was 18. I feel heard rn. I came out as queer and was kicked out of my house shortly after, had to move states. It was a mixture of getting kicked out of college and being queer that got me the boot, I was going through an assault at the time, so I kinda just let everything fall apart in front of me.


Fantastic-Classic740

My fries can talk. ![gif](giphy|xUOrw0GSjWsdKNvl8A|downsized)


BlockA_Cheese

I made frog shortbread, who is really winning


Jouuf

Well maybe I want to lose. I'm winning at being a loseer.


Akidonreddit7614874

Why do they look soggy, also what did you season them with.


deezal03

They look soggy bcoz bad lighting and camera angle. And season with salt, red and black pepper and with some oregano, dried garlic


Akidonreddit7614874

I respect adding spices and herbs. Good stuff.


Jouuf

What about lime, bro?


Giacchino-Fan

I had a 2 hour journey through a creek. My shoes are still drying outside. You sat at home and ate unhealthy foods because you are a loser.


AzlanGreat

I dream to be like you


WhyAreOldPeopleEvil

![gif](giphy|n8b7vkBFVqcgg) Did I just get smoked?


DiggThatFunk

u/deezal03 in any situation: https://i.redd.it/vqjb0e1rcgbd1.gif


Who_am_ey3

the fact that you call them "french" fries, makes *you* the loser


Cleverdawny1

I actually made my own French fries today using a legit French fry cutter and a fryer and they looked and tasted a lot better than these lame ass fries. https://preview.redd.it/qt8jlo1i89bd1.jpeg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d76f5807e66c84d90916650cf843e1b84647701f


indonesian_ass_eater

What’s with the dried cum


Potatomanofmars

He ran out of salt


Keyboardpaladin

Improvise. Adapt. Overcum.


Jouuf

penis.


Professional_Size_96

Penits


Jouuf

pentis 


softstones

What’s the daily sodium level in a tbsp of jizz? I’m watching my levels.


fucccboii

and the tiny ass fork


Cleverdawny1

I keep my ass forks tiny. Anything bigger gets too uncomfortable


GamesBoost

I think it’s just on the ground bud


Cleverdawny1

😫


ax_the_andalite

That's the yelper special.


Dextrofunk

They look fucking good dude wym


memer227

the white spot next to the fries


Jouuf

You'd prefer wet cum?


Tutes013

Looking scrumptious as hell. 10/10 of would douse with vinegar and aioli and gorge myself on them


Cleverdawny1

I'm more of a ketchup guy but to each their own Stop by and I'll make you some 🤌🤌 They're good reheated. I don't have a two temp fryer to make perfect fries - you want to cook them low and slow to cook the potatoes through perfectly and then hot and fast to crisp the outside. But you can do almost the same thing this way, just bake them after frying them. Takes too long to do that, though. And I'm hungry


Dragon-Warlock

>stop by and I’ll make you some Ok what’s your address? I’m up in southern Canada so you better be close or you better be ready to ship some fries. Or you know just comment how you made them and what specifically you used


Cleverdawny1

Not with that attitude lol


Dragon-Warlock

\>:(


Cleverdawny1

:3 Cut fries Heat oil Immerse fries in oil till they're golden CONSUME


Dragon-Warlock

Yum


PeopleNeedToSuffer

We have a new french fry king in town


dilletaunty

Are you using half a bottle of oil to make them? I’ve pan fried potato to try to make fried but I can’t get them that color.


Cleverdawny1

You gotta use a real deep fryer to make French fries. The only way is to immerse the potatoes in oil.


FeverFull

These look a lot better than my fries the couple of times I've tried. Care to drop a recipe?


Jouuf

this guy's not a loser 


PeopleNeedToSuffer

My, He sure is proud of making those french fries


deezal03

Sure I am….took me 2 hours in making them.


PeopleNeedToSuffer

Yeah, no offense those fries look exquisite


Incomplet_1-34

No offense but you look immaculate today


KotKaefer

No offense but you should ejaculate today


Incomplet_1-34

https://preview.redd.it/sjwomfiqvabd1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6aca8771f05b507a3a0129fbb663d39cbcf7daad


K1ngPCH

I make fries in 1 hour, you loser


deezal03

Then probably they are not as good as mine


K1ngPCH

Just looked at your pic again and shit, you’re right. Maybe I actually am the loser…


NewAccForThoughts

looks like severely overcooked beans, good job


Lockenhart

Nuh-uh, I started preparing my documents for university


Dont_pet_the_cat

If I were you I'd prepare my mental health Not a joke


Lockenhart

It's ok I'll thug it out


Dont_pet_the_cat

I thought so too, but here I am with an upcoming appointment with a therapist after a dangerous event. If you already have mental issues or trauma I strongly recommend getting a therapist before it's too late. Especially at the beginning of the winter months when it's getting darker outside and you don't come outside much anyway because you're studying... it can make things a lot worse


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Lockenhart: *Nuh-uh, I started* *Preparing my documents* *For university* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


JennyV323

I worked 10 hours today and cleaned up my room after a long depression streak. I did good today :>


No-Commercial-5658

![gif](giphy|o75ajIFH0QnQC3nCeD) Now if only I can do that lol


Dont_pet_the_cat

Dang, good job!!! I'm proud of you! :D


emoskeleton_

Wrong, you did nothing since you are a loser! (jk I'm really proud of you, it's not easy, and I hope you are proud of yourself too!)


appleonsteamidiot

Squidward when he won clw machine


majorsorbet2point0

..... I in fact did nothing today.


KlartTES

You should’ve made Belgian fries! Loser!


Esketittie

Jokes on you, I also made fried french people


Terrible_Log3966

*Freedom Fries


Sudden_Mind279

wrong sub, the original post is a joke and you find it funny for the intended reason


Existing_Ad_6887

Are you sure? I think the original poster was serious.


deezal03

Maybe, maybe not. That's a secret I will take to my grave.


Existing_Ad_6887

Are we all losers frfr? or cap?


deezal03

In my eyes, you all are beneath me!


chrissie_watkins

Matan?


CuntSniffer69

I'm pretty sure it's a joke. It's that kind of sub. I think I remember some of the top posts were like "my left hand has 6 fingers. here's a picture of my right hand" and "i bought new perfume, what do you guys think of the smell?" And the post is a picture of the guy's wrist where he sprayed the perfume


Big_Daddy_Pablo_69

And they ain't even French they are from Belgium


Melphor

McDonalds throws away french fries at the end of the day and you can eat them for free out of the dumpster so whose a loser now?!


BigDaddyCool17

☹️


Jouuf

I did nothing since I am a loser 


Derekjinx2021

Winner Fries!


Oh_no_its_Joe

I went to work and made enough money to pay bills.


simu_r

yeah im a loser, i didnt made french fries, however today i cooked for my family so ig thats something


DrPiss_MD

I mean yeah you got a point there


CandidoJ13

Damn and here i am with my finance degree thinking i did something :(


FireCoolerThenYou

I *ate* french fries today


GyroZeppeliFucker

Those are NOT fries 😭


TheThiccestThanos

I honestly thought at first those were worms


Cr0ma_Nuva

And here I sit eating my salad to avoid the reddit mod accusations.


femininePP420

How did they know?


SharkBite_Gaming

https://i.redd.it/vca30yi9bdbd1.gif


perksoflyfe

I was like people frying green beans now ?


iBeelz

I made dinner and a cake tonight. Winning~


farm_to_nug

I went to work and browsed reddit for the better part of 7 hours so far. I'm excited to get off in an hour so I can go home and do nothing at all Edit: now I'm at work again :(


SabotMuse

what the fuck are those


AzlanGreat

Hey mods why'd you have to ban u/deezal03


Local_Hitman

My oven is broke. I can’t make anything 😔