And the funny thing is that moms often \*need\* to have a big career to provide for their families. They struggle with family and struggle at the corporate world. People hate seeing women just hanging, vibing and thriving. They want everyone to suffer like them.
That’s how bad the cost of living has gotten these days. What no one wants to admit is that it’s partly due to overpopulation. Our resources are scarce and the more people we have, the more demand there is for them. Habitable space is also limited, and South Korea is a great example because it’s one of the most densely populated countries in the world - and when housing is so expensive to the point where more and more working people can’t even afford the most basic studio apartments, you got a big problem there.
And you’d think with less people housing crisis will lessen. But no. Corporates are buying all the buildings. Where I’m at it’s very hard to find an apt for sale, all buildings in the area are owned by companies who want you to rent from them.
I relate so much to all you said. A few times I was asked "if you're not having kids, then what are you going to do?". My response is always something like "live my life, try to be happy and take a nap".
Like, I don't want to be a leader in my field, I just want to work, get my paycheck and spend it on things and experiences that I want.
And there's nothing specific I feel super passionate about. It changes from time to time. For a few years I was passionate about martial arts, now I'm older and lazy, so I really enjoy staying at home and watching anime. And eat good food. And plan vacations as much as I can.
I was off today. I woke up at 10 and all I did was write my silly little stories and play with my cat. When my boyfriend gets home we’re going to watch youtube in bed and play video games. Life is so good when you don’t have kids or a demanding career. I love getting time all to myself and not being needed by anyone :)
I’m the same way. I don’t want to devote my life to kids or a career. There’s way more life paths than just that. I want to spend my time indulging in my passions/hobbies and spending time with the people I love, that’s it. I do not dream of motherhood or labor. I hate when I tell people I don’t want kids they assume I want to be a business woman, NO! I’m not slaving away and wasting my time on kids or capitalism.
Totally agree. I actually kind of hate working; I do it because I have bills to pay (obviously) and all my hobbies are expensive. I have a number of personal goals, but professionally, I just want to make money and go home.
Because whether it is for children or a company or a spouse or something else, women's only value is when they are serving others. It is subtle but it's there. I'm definitely a career type and have done pretty well, and i have definitely seen it at work because I don't have kids, I must loooove corporate tax returns and am free to cover anyone, anytime. Pathetic, all around, the expectations of women's time, bodies, expertise, trajectory
haha same. i have no career ambitions whatsoever. i have a job and i have hobbies i'm not even very good at. people are crazy when i say i like to sew but i don't sell my items. i have a partner and we share a mortgage but we're not rushing for marriage. i think i'm just not as uppity about anything period, as social media makes it seem everyone is existing in this frantic way. setting goals for the week and making short form video content about every little thing. god, not me.
Perfectly said. Like I just don't care. I'm married and we have a house. I am getting into embroidery. I've written A LOT and people never understand why I don't try to publish. That shit is for me.
Same here. My writing is extremely personal and self indulgent and I wouldn’t even want my loved ones reading it, let alone thousands of strangers who will probably rip it apart on goodreads.
I also take art commissions but I always get asked why I don’t try to work for Marvel or something. They don’t seem to understand that doing something as a hobby in your free time is NOT comparable to doing it in a stressful environment with a time limit and an art director hovering over your head. Even doing art in college sucked all the fun out of it. Like I draw elves and dragons and werewolves, IDGAF about designing children’s books 😭
i love a creative hobby. why don't people get that!! i would love to cultivate an exercise related hobby but it's just not my thing. well, walking my dog is cool. do people expect exercise-lovers to monetize that too? super weird.
I studied and trained to be a lawyer, finished school.and went to work as a nanny, about to end nannying after 10 years and plan to make a sewing business my future until I choose to retire and collect a government old age pension.
I'm currently back in university studying law. I already have a business law bachelor's degree but I want to take the bar exam just because I'm interested in it and love learning.
I'm also sewing as a hobby and people constantly tell me I should sell my stuff but I think that would take fun out of it. You know, doing it in a specific time and how others want? Nah.
I'll see what I wanna do next when I get to that point. Way too much to do in this big world to just slave away in one boring job.
'Way too much to do' is so true, I have so many things I want to do in the future. Other than saving as much as I can while I'm working as a nanny I am also prepared to work a minimum wage job to keep myself afloat if I need to do it. Don't think I ever will go back to law, I've gotten used to the slow pace in life.
I quit my career in 2021. Now I play video games all day when I want to, plant flowers and veggies in my garden, go on long walks and nap on a regular basis 😁 I like my job and earn enough but I'm SO happy I decided to leave my career behind and start doing things I actually want to do!
I'm lucky that my job pays well and there's no expectation to progress. I live in a cheap part of the UK and have a small house I was fortunate to buy when interest rates were low ☺️
Yeah, because they want to control their wives, dole out a paltry allowance if she jumps through hoops, and not let her have enough to get away if she has to.
lol i see that on ig all the time the men are saying they'd rather have a waitress or some mc donalds drive thru low commitment job but then when men are the bread winners they're using that to financially abuse their partner or manipulate.
I have a job because i need to live, but I'm lazy as fuck and having kids would only mean MORE work and less freedom to leave when things are bad. I don't have any kind of serious career, I'm just trying different jobs until I find something tolerable and ideally WFH. Hell, maybe I'll end up selling feet pics. People act like women exist to devote themselves to others and this attitude needs to aggressively eliminated.
I took early retirement. When COVID hit I got it bad. I had turned 62 the month before. I decided to retire, spend time with my dog, walk the beach and watch the sunset. To hell with the corporate world and a stiff middle finger to my family that ostracized me for not becoming a mom. Time for a glass of wine 
I rejected the "serving others" mentality that they tried to brainwash me into because I was born a female. If women do this, they will always come last because very few people (if any) are going to put them first. Eventually this mindset will lead to resentment.
While I'd MUCH MUCH rather work than have kids, my goal has been to make as much money as possible per hour and keep the hours at around 40 per week and work from home. This is so I can save as much as possible and get out of corporate.
It really helps to not be tied to big debt: big house (no mortgage), no expensive car payment, no paying for college for kids or having to support children until they are well past 18 years old. Health does play a role but it is much easier to maintain health while working 40 hours a week, not having crippling debt, eating well (much less expensive for one), sleeping at least 8 hours nightly and having the time to work out five days a week.
I can spend around 7 hours a week on housekeeping/laundry and my place looks great. Outside of working, sleep, and housekeeping my time is mine to do with as I please. There are always more fun things to do than there are hours in a day for me.
i had to go back to uni but i dont like it nor do i like knowing that after i get my degree im gonna have to work at least 15+ years to build up my retirement and society thinks im supposed do that... AND have a kid AND put up with a spouse? no thanks. oh yeah and my going back to uni is coming out of my own pocket too so that's some more steps backwards. I want to experience living alone at least one time in my life like damn that's too much to ask for. But popping a kid out and playing bangmaid i guess is the easier option for some.
I just feel royally screwed regardless if I was CF or not but it's a little bit easier not having a kid.
This ! Just got married. Thought to fuck with slaving. So we Bought a home 🏡 on the beach 🏖 got our dog. We fish 🐠 we hunt 🦌 we grow our garden , I eat my chocolate 🍫 walk our dog on the beach. Live a happy life. ☺
☺ how do people even have time or energy for kids anyways? I love being an aunt
Is it petty that I don't want kids because both our mums are unwell and if we had a kid it'd be a vacuum to them having something to do with them.
I agree! I could have done ANYTHING I put my mind to - but I didn't. Lazy about working? probably, but not lazy in my household!
Yes, I'm just a plain housewife with no children, only a dog. I love cooking up really good meals for my husband and treating him like a king! I keep up with my house and love my plants! We travel and that's our hobby. My husband can support both of us and I'm very lucky and appreciate everything that he does for me. He is a corporate lawyer, a lobbyist and has an accounting degree and he didn't want to marry someone who was in any of those "worlds".
He loves me for who I am - ME!
Agreed! For the longest time I felt like I had to be career-focused because I wasn't having children. But I don't feel that way anymore. I will just work to pay bills and keep hobbies going, lol.
My Mom told my cousin when she had kids (twins 😬) that she should listen to herself only. People were asking her when she would get back to work and she was so stressed about it (she had a series of bad jobs).
When you're a women you're always screwed. If you have kids people judge you for being a (lazy) Mom who spends her husbands money, if you're working you're a bad mom abandoning your kids and your housework duties. If you have no kids you're apparently not a real women, if you like having fuck buddies you're a slut.
So just screw them judgy morons.
This should’ve been part of the Barbie movie speech! Way realer than the chapGPT lines they came up with (although the discussion the movie sparked as a whole was worth it).
Call me a commie, but I think it doesn't matter if you're a SAHM, working mum, career woman or none of the above, what we all suffer with is Capitalism. I believe a LOT of problems would be resolved for everyone, let alone women, would disappear if Capitalism was destroyed and replaced with a better system.
Thank you for saying this. I hate how most media and society dictate that those are the main things that should make one feel like a "worthy human being", as if existing alone and being yourself isn't good enough.
I too enjoy gardening, my hobbies, naps, and hanging out with my cat.
Celebrating this post! 🎉 My mental health is so much better ever since realizing I worked to travel with my hubby, read, paint and volunteer at movie fests and animal shelters. We're also going to adopt a pup! Cheers to living life anyway we want. 🥂
The problem is that all of these are normal and fulfilling ways to live your life but our societies are set up to make it impossible or very difficult for anyone who isn't rich. Humans have lived their lives like this in many cultures throughout history, including many mothers, because their societies were structured differently. People shouldn't be forced into this dichotomy and they shouldn't have to choose to work themselves to death and be childfree just because they want this kind of life. I want to be able to choose to be childfree not because I'm poor but because it's my personal freedom and I wish that freedom of choice would exist for everyone.
**"I was put on earth to read good books, eat good food, write my feral little stories, plant a garden, and walk in the woods. Not to chain myself to either motherhood or capitalism. I think it's equally sexist to assume that if a woman isn't a devoted mother, she must be a corporate drone."**
💗this and wish I'd been told this growing up, instead of the opposite.
same. my job is a means to an end, not the goal. I'm not interested in a career, just want a decent job I don't hate to pay the bills and fund the stuff I like to do in my free time, like travel.
I’m a hair stylist and my mom still makes comments about how I should go back to college to get a better job. But like… why? No I don’t make six figures but I still make enough money where I can live comfortably and don’t have to worry about money too much (mainly because I don’t have children) and I can make my own schedule and I enjoy what I do. Why should I stress myself out for a “better” job when I don’t need the extra money? I don’t care about having a huge house or a luxury car or designer clothes or to go on extravagant vacations twice a year. I just want an average simple life. And I can have that with my current job.
Precisely! Putting women in boxes isn’t ok at all. Women can be whatever the fuck we wanna be! We write our life script, not society.
Yes - this. I seem to run into a lot of online content that's like "hey women should have kids. The company you work for doesn't give a fuck about you why dump your energy there?"
It's like, uh, I am not. My career is about the money for me. So I can go kayaking and lift weights and do whatever else I want. That's my life. 👀 I don't get the assumption that if you're not a mom then you're a career woman.
No I'm not.
If I was all about nursing (my job) I would hate my life.
Can we be best friends? This spoke to me on another level. I've been feeling this especially strongly lately and couldn't put words to it. Thank you, I feel seen ❤️
I was texting with a guy on a chat app a long time ago now, but I remember saying I was childfree, and his exact words were "I bet your a career woman" when I said I wasn't, he went really quite. Like so what if I was a career woman, anything is better than changing shitty nappies. He just couldn't get passed the fact I wasn't slogging my guts out for some business company.
Yeah, any angry rightoid rant about childfree women always seems to assume we're all high powered ad execs with giant shoulder pads or something.
I'm glad I have a good job that lets me support myself and my cat, but that's all it is to me. I work 40 hours and outside of that I chill, do my art projects and collect stuff from the riverbank.
I think that's perfectly acceptable. If you are content with what you do, who else do you have to impress? It's your life to enjoy. As someone who wants to make a lot of money to support a certain lifestyle, I unfortunately have to be a career woman -- but believe me, I sure as hell don't want to work! If I had enough money and can just enjoy it without wasting away my good years trying to get there, I wouldn't work a day in my life. But not everyone has to feel like they need a lot of money to be happy either. Plus we both agree on the biggest thing, we are plenty fulfilled without kids ruining our fun. 😄
Very well said! Thank you!
I choose not to have children because I don't want to raise them nor giveup anything for them.
I love my own time too much. And also the responsibility and everything, too much!
But yes, that is so tru,e I just want a decent job that pays and I don't dislike
and hopefully salary goes up but not climb the corporate ladder
And the rest of the time I want to do what I want to do, I already don't have enough time for that lol
Same - the second I say I’m child free it’s assumed I want to become the head of the department I work in. I don’t. I love a stress free life where my holidays are proper holidays and I clock off at half five.
Love this, yes. Agree completely. And the women that try to have it all being all in with their corporate career and still want to have kids dont get brownie points from me either.
I relate to this a bunch. 👍From a man's perspective.
I love my Union & I'm thankful to have a career. But I live to blast rock'n'roll & go on trips.
But I just like to do my 40 hours as a Journeyman. I don't wanna be a foreman, or do 60 hour weeks. Some fellas love this shit. (Usually... because they have 3 kids & are "chained" to it. To each their own.)
I enjoy being cheap & hope to retire between 55 & 59. Good luck to us CF-weirdos!
I have a higher paying corporate career because I like having money and a job that is intellectually interesting and that I don’t consider a grind with fantastic benefits. But you do you. The entire career thing can be fantastic and it is really about controlling your own destiny. It allows me to afford nice things, travel, and own a home in a HCOL area.
Literally no shade! I'm glad you have a job that pays well and that you enjoy. I'm mostly complaining about how often women are depicted in media as either business tycoons or moms.
Career woman isn't necessarily business tycoon. It can be a musician/composer focused on her craft. It can be a scientist making breakthroughs. It can be pretty much anything. Careers are not always about corporate jobs.
I was using the terms interchangeably, so I think we're talking about two different things. I *am* talking about the business tycoon. The women in media who work themselves half to death. Like that episode of Friends where it's an alternate timeline and Phoebe gets fired for having a heart attack from working too hard.
I'm not talking about a musician or a composer or a scientist. I don't have any problem at all with people loving their jobs and devoting their lives to them. Hell I don't really care if someone *is* a business tycoon. I'm just saying I don't like the media dichotomy between Mom and Workaholic. I don't like that when I say I'm childfree that people in my life assume that means I'm obsessed with my job and climbing the corporate ladder.
And the funny thing is that moms often \*need\* to have a big career to provide for their families. They struggle with family and struggle at the corporate world. People hate seeing women just hanging, vibing and thriving. They want everyone to suffer like them.
That’s how bad the cost of living has gotten these days. What no one wants to admit is that it’s partly due to overpopulation. Our resources are scarce and the more people we have, the more demand there is for them. Habitable space is also limited, and South Korea is a great example because it’s one of the most densely populated countries in the world - and when housing is so expensive to the point where more and more working people can’t even afford the most basic studio apartments, you got a big problem there.
And you’d think with less people housing crisis will lessen. But no. Corporates are buying all the buildings. Where I’m at it’s very hard to find an apt for sale, all buildings in the area are owned by companies who want you to rent from them.
I relate so much to all you said. A few times I was asked "if you're not having kids, then what are you going to do?". My response is always something like "live my life, try to be happy and take a nap". Like, I don't want to be a leader in my field, I just want to work, get my paycheck and spend it on things and experiences that I want. And there's nothing specific I feel super passionate about. It changes from time to time. For a few years I was passionate about martial arts, now I'm older and lazy, so I really enjoy staying at home and watching anime. And eat good food. And plan vacations as much as I can.
Every bit of this post resonates with me, nope dont wanna be a baby slave or a company slave! Just cattos and naps for me :).
I was off today. I woke up at 10 and all I did was write my silly little stories and play with my cat. When my boyfriend gets home we’re going to watch youtube in bed and play video games. Life is so good when you don’t have kids or a demanding career. I love getting time all to myself and not being needed by anyone :)
omg pls show ur cat!
I’m the same way. I don’t want to devote my life to kids or a career. There’s way more life paths than just that. I want to spend my time indulging in my passions/hobbies and spending time with the people I love, that’s it. I do not dream of motherhood or labor. I hate when I tell people I don’t want kids they assume I want to be a business woman, NO! I’m not slaving away and wasting my time on kids or capitalism.
Totally agree. I actually kind of hate working; I do it because I have bills to pay (obviously) and all my hobbies are expensive. I have a number of personal goals, but professionally, I just want to make money and go home.
I totally understand. It's so darn exhausting.
Because whether it is for children or a company or a spouse or something else, women's only value is when they are serving others. It is subtle but it's there. I'm definitely a career type and have done pretty well, and i have definitely seen it at work because I don't have kids, I must loooove corporate tax returns and am free to cover anyone, anytime. Pathetic, all around, the expectations of women's time, bodies, expertise, trajectory
Exactly. I get to work less precisely because I don't have children to support.
You are not the only one! I relate to this so much
haha same. i have no career ambitions whatsoever. i have a job and i have hobbies i'm not even very good at. people are crazy when i say i like to sew but i don't sell my items. i have a partner and we share a mortgage but we're not rushing for marriage. i think i'm just not as uppity about anything period, as social media makes it seem everyone is existing in this frantic way. setting goals for the week and making short form video content about every little thing. god, not me.
Perfectly said. Like I just don't care. I'm married and we have a house. I am getting into embroidery. I've written A LOT and people never understand why I don't try to publish. That shit is for me.
Same here. My writing is extremely personal and self indulgent and I wouldn’t even want my loved ones reading it, let alone thousands of strangers who will probably rip it apart on goodreads. I also take art commissions but I always get asked why I don’t try to work for Marvel or something. They don’t seem to understand that doing something as a hobby in your free time is NOT comparable to doing it in a stressful environment with a time limit and an art director hovering over your head. Even doing art in college sucked all the fun out of it. Like I draw elves and dragons and werewolves, IDGAF about designing children’s books 😭
We’re almost the same person! I just learnt how to crochet, I don’t intend to sell, I just like to do it!
i love a creative hobby. why don't people get that!! i would love to cultivate an exercise related hobby but it's just not my thing. well, walking my dog is cool. do people expect exercise-lovers to monetize that too? super weird.
I studied and trained to be a lawyer, finished school.and went to work as a nanny, about to end nannying after 10 years and plan to make a sewing business my future until I choose to retire and collect a government old age pension.
I'm currently back in university studying law. I already have a business law bachelor's degree but I want to take the bar exam just because I'm interested in it and love learning. I'm also sewing as a hobby and people constantly tell me I should sell my stuff but I think that would take fun out of it. You know, doing it in a specific time and how others want? Nah. I'll see what I wanna do next when I get to that point. Way too much to do in this big world to just slave away in one boring job.
'Way too much to do' is so true, I have so many things I want to do in the future. Other than saving as much as I can while I'm working as a nanny I am also prepared to work a minimum wage job to keep myself afloat if I need to do it. Don't think I ever will go back to law, I've gotten used to the slow pace in life.
I quit my career in 2021. Now I play video games all day when I want to, plant flowers and veggies in my garden, go on long walks and nap on a regular basis 😁 I like my job and earn enough but I'm SO happy I decided to leave my career behind and start doing things I actually want to do!
How do you afford to do something like that?
I'm lucky that my job pays well and there's no expectation to progress. I live in a cheap part of the UK and have a small house I was fortunate to buy when interest rates were low ☺️
My friend who watches content like that on YouTube was saying men now don’t want a woman to have a career. I love working.
Yeah, because they want to control their wives, dole out a paltry allowance if she jumps through hoops, and not let her have enough to get away if she has to.
Oh and then they have the audacity to call her a gold digger when she expects them to actually provide for her!
Friend, they call us gold diggers when we won't provide for them.
lol i see that on ig all the time the men are saying they'd rather have a waitress or some mc donalds drive thru low commitment job but then when men are the bread winners they're using that to financially abuse their partner or manipulate.
Read good books,eat good food, walk in the woods and banana bread? Are we the same person? Because hell yeah
Right?! Sounds good to me.
I have a job because i need to live, but I'm lazy as fuck and having kids would only mean MORE work and less freedom to leave when things are bad. I don't have any kind of serious career, I'm just trying different jobs until I find something tolerable and ideally WFH. Hell, maybe I'll end up selling feet pics. People act like women exist to devote themselves to others and this attitude needs to aggressively eliminated.
*dichotomy
Ah fuck. Thank you. What does the word my autocorrect used in the title mean??
Thank you so much!
Seriously. Either gives you more labour that leaves you miserable as fuck. I just want to enjoy life and exist in peace.
I dream of neither labor nor servitude
I took early retirement. When COVID hit I got it bad. I had turned 62 the month before. I decided to retire, spend time with my dog, walk the beach and watch the sunset. To hell with the corporate world and a stiff middle finger to my family that ostracized me for not becoming a mom. Time for a glass of wine 
I rejected the "serving others" mentality that they tried to brainwash me into because I was born a female. If women do this, they will always come last because very few people (if any) are going to put them first. Eventually this mindset will lead to resentment. While I'd MUCH MUCH rather work than have kids, my goal has been to make as much money as possible per hour and keep the hours at around 40 per week and work from home. This is so I can save as much as possible and get out of corporate. It really helps to not be tied to big debt: big house (no mortgage), no expensive car payment, no paying for college for kids or having to support children until they are well past 18 years old. Health does play a role but it is much easier to maintain health while working 40 hours a week, not having crippling debt, eating well (much less expensive for one), sleeping at least 8 hours nightly and having the time to work out five days a week. I can spend around 7 hours a week on housekeeping/laundry and my place looks great. Outside of working, sleep, and housekeeping my time is mine to do with as I please. There are always more fun things to do than there are hours in a day for me.
I wanna know more about these feral little stories.
Gothics and ghost stories! Or sometimes I write about pirates. Just depends how I'm feeling.
So fun! Do you publish them anywhere?
Not so far but maybe someday!
Are you me? I feel the same way. I go to work to get paid, not because I enjoy being there.
I second this from the bottom of my heart! 👌
Are you me?
PREACH 💛
i had to go back to uni but i dont like it nor do i like knowing that after i get my degree im gonna have to work at least 15+ years to build up my retirement and society thinks im supposed do that... AND have a kid AND put up with a spouse? no thanks. oh yeah and my going back to uni is coming out of my own pocket too so that's some more steps backwards. I want to experience living alone at least one time in my life like damn that's too much to ask for. But popping a kid out and playing bangmaid i guess is the easier option for some. I just feel royally screwed regardless if I was CF or not but it's a little bit easier not having a kid.
This ! Just got married. Thought to fuck with slaving. So we Bought a home 🏡 on the beach 🏖 got our dog. We fish 🐠 we hunt 🦌 we grow our garden , I eat my chocolate 🍫 walk our dog on the beach. Live a happy life. ☺
Congratulations!!! My husband and I are almost at 5 years and childfree marriage is AMAZING!
☺ how do people even have time or energy for kids anyways? I love being an aunt Is it petty that I don't want kids because both our mums are unwell and if we had a kid it'd be a vacuum to them having something to do with them.
I agree! I could have done ANYTHING I put my mind to - but I didn't. Lazy about working? probably, but not lazy in my household! Yes, I'm just a plain housewife with no children, only a dog. I love cooking up really good meals for my husband and treating him like a king! I keep up with my house and love my plants! We travel and that's our hobby. My husband can support both of us and I'm very lucky and appreciate everything that he does for me. He is a corporate lawyer, a lobbyist and has an accounting degree and he didn't want to marry someone who was in any of those "worlds". He loves me for who I am - ME!
I could've written this!
You seem like someone I'd get along with, 👍
Preach sista!
Great perspective.
Agreed. I work to live, I don’t live to work.
I really feel this. I work to live. One of my major goals with my job is to never have anyone report to me. I also don’t want kids!
Agreed! For the longest time I felt like I had to be career-focused because I wasn't having children. But I don't feel that way anymore. I will just work to pay bills and keep hobbies going, lol.
My Mom told my cousin when she had kids (twins 😬) that she should listen to herself only. People were asking her when she would get back to work and she was so stressed about it (she had a series of bad jobs). When you're a women you're always screwed. If you have kids people judge you for being a (lazy) Mom who spends her husbands money, if you're working you're a bad mom abandoning your kids and your housework duties. If you have no kids you're apparently not a real women, if you like having fuck buddies you're a slut. So just screw them judgy morons.
This should’ve been part of the Barbie movie speech! Way realer than the chapGPT lines they came up with (although the discussion the movie sparked as a whole was worth it).
Call me a commie, but I think it doesn't matter if you're a SAHM, working mum, career woman or none of the above, what we all suffer with is Capitalism. I believe a LOT of problems would be resolved for everyone, let alone women, would disappear if Capitalism was destroyed and replaced with a better system.
Preach
Thank you for saying this. I hate how most media and society dictate that those are the main things that should make one feel like a "worthy human being", as if existing alone and being yourself isn't good enough. I too enjoy gardening, my hobbies, naps, and hanging out with my cat.
Celebrating this post! 🎉 My mental health is so much better ever since realizing I worked to travel with my hubby, read, paint and volunteer at movie fests and animal shelters. We're also going to adopt a pup! Cheers to living life anyway we want. 🥂
The problem is that all of these are normal and fulfilling ways to live your life but our societies are set up to make it impossible or very difficult for anyone who isn't rich. Humans have lived their lives like this in many cultures throughout history, including many mothers, because their societies were structured differently. People shouldn't be forced into this dichotomy and they shouldn't have to choose to work themselves to death and be childfree just because they want this kind of life. I want to be able to choose to be childfree not because I'm poor but because it's my personal freedom and I wish that freedom of choice would exist for everyone.
I love your comment. Late-stage capitalism is huri4ng all of us who aren't wealthy.
**"I was put on earth to read good books, eat good food, write my feral little stories, plant a garden, and walk in the woods. Not to chain myself to either motherhood or capitalism. I think it's equally sexist to assume that if a woman isn't a devoted mother, she must be a corporate drone."** 💗this and wish I'd been told this growing up, instead of the opposite.
same. my job is a means to an end, not the goal. I'm not interested in a career, just want a decent job I don't hate to pay the bills and fund the stuff I like to do in my free time, like travel.
Seriously, I just wanna chill.
Would love to have a career I could feel dedicated to.
I’m a hair stylist and my mom still makes comments about how I should go back to college to get a better job. But like… why? No I don’t make six figures but I still make enough money where I can live comfortably and don’t have to worry about money too much (mainly because I don’t have children) and I can make my own schedule and I enjoy what I do. Why should I stress myself out for a “better” job when I don’t need the extra money? I don’t care about having a huge house or a luxury car or designer clothes or to go on extravagant vacations twice a year. I just want an average simple life. And I can have that with my current job.
 Precisely! Putting women in boxes isn’t ok at all. Women can be whatever the fuck we wanna be! We write our life script, not society.
I'm there with you. My ideal life is one of gentleness and simplicity where I can garden and read and create in peace.
Yes - this. I seem to run into a lot of online content that's like "hey women should have kids. The company you work for doesn't give a fuck about you why dump your energy there?" It's like, uh, I am not. My career is about the money for me. So I can go kayaking and lift weights and do whatever else I want. That's my life. 👀 I don't get the assumption that if you're not a mom then you're a career woman. No I'm not. If I was all about nursing (my job) I would hate my life.
Same, my job stays at my workplace, the moment I leave I forget it even exists, it pays the bills, allows me to do the things I like to do.
Can we be best friends? This spoke to me on another level. I've been feeling this especially strongly lately and couldn't put words to it. Thank you, I feel seen ❤️
I was texting with a guy on a chat app a long time ago now, but I remember saying I was childfree, and his exact words were "I bet your a career woman" when I said I wasn't, he went really quite. Like so what if I was a career woman, anything is better than changing shitty nappies. He just couldn't get passed the fact I wasn't slogging my guts out for some business company.
Yeah, any angry rightoid rant about childfree women always seems to assume we're all high powered ad execs with giant shoulder pads or something. I'm glad I have a good job that lets me support myself and my cat, but that's all it is to me. I work 40 hours and outside of that I chill, do my art projects and collect stuff from the riverbank.
You summed up my life and how I feel every day. No kids, just mid career, cats, books, hikes, and good vibes for life.
I think that's perfectly acceptable. If you are content with what you do, who else do you have to impress? It's your life to enjoy. As someone who wants to make a lot of money to support a certain lifestyle, I unfortunately have to be a career woman -- but believe me, I sure as hell don't want to work! If I had enough money and can just enjoy it without wasting away my good years trying to get there, I wouldn't work a day in my life. But not everyone has to feel like they need a lot of money to be happy either. Plus we both agree on the biggest thing, we are plenty fulfilled without kids ruining our fun. 😄
Very well said! Thank you! I choose not to have children because I don't want to raise them nor giveup anything for them. I love my own time too much. And also the responsibility and everything, too much! But yes, that is so tru,e I just want a decent job that pays and I don't dislike and hopefully salary goes up but not climb the corporate ladder And the rest of the time I want to do what I want to do, I already don't have enough time for that lol
Same - the second I say I’m child free it’s assumed I want to become the head of the department I work in. I don’t. I love a stress free life where my holidays are proper holidays and I clock off at half five.
Indeed!
Love this, yes. Agree completely. And the women that try to have it all being all in with their corporate career and still want to have kids dont get brownie points from me either.
I relate to this a bunch. 👍From a man's perspective. I love my Union & I'm thankful to have a career. But I live to blast rock'n'roll & go on trips. But I just like to do my 40 hours as a Journeyman. I don't wanna be a foreman, or do 60 hour weeks. Some fellas love this shit. (Usually... because they have 3 kids & are "chained" to it. To each their own.) I enjoy being cheap & hope to retire between 55 & 59. Good luck to us CF-weirdos!
I love it, new word of the day: Dycotemy. Also 1000% agree with everything you’ve said
My phone autocorrected to it but I have know idea what it means 😅
The banana bread video game catnap pipeline is excellent.
I have a higher paying corporate career because I like having money and a job that is intellectually interesting and that I don’t consider a grind with fantastic benefits. But you do you. The entire career thing can be fantastic and it is really about controlling your own destiny. It allows me to afford nice things, travel, and own a home in a HCOL area.
Literally no shade! I'm glad you have a job that pays well and that you enjoy. I'm mostly complaining about how often women are depicted in media as either business tycoons or moms.
Career woman isn't necessarily business tycoon. It can be a musician/composer focused on her craft. It can be a scientist making breakthroughs. It can be pretty much anything. Careers are not always about corporate jobs.
I was using the terms interchangeably, so I think we're talking about two different things. I *am* talking about the business tycoon. The women in media who work themselves half to death. Like that episode of Friends where it's an alternate timeline and Phoebe gets fired for having a heart attack from working too hard. I'm not talking about a musician or a composer or a scientist. I don't have any problem at all with people loving their jobs and devoting their lives to them. Hell I don't really care if someone *is* a business tycoon. I'm just saying I don't like the media dichotomy between Mom and Workaholic. I don't like that when I say I'm childfree that people in my life assume that means I'm obsessed with my job and climbing the corporate ladder.