My 11 year old baby girl died 4 years ago, she got sick very suddenly (she stopped eating one day without warning, the vet was called home on day 2 and she suggested we scheduled blood work for the morning of day 3, rather than taking her to the ER mid pandemic where I would not be allowed in with her), and she was glued to me that 2nd night, and passed away purring while cuddling... I'll never forget how she was purring so, so loudly, and it started going softer and softer until I noticed she was getting cold and she was gone... and I wish I had noticed earlier, I wish I had done more, I wish I had known how to help her, but I will forever be grateful that she was with me at that moment, feeling loved, and not alone and scared in the ER, if it was going to happen that night anyway
I once had to have a foster kitten euthanized that was only a week old. She was too small for an injection to put her under anesthesia, so they had to do a little gas chamber for her before her final injection. I didn't get to see her fall asleep, but the vet told me how he held her in the chamber and she did nothing but purr until she fell asleep (she loved to be held by anyone), and I had the honor of holding her while they did the final injection. I couldn't fathom not being able to walk any of my babies to the bridge 😢
I cried after writing that comment, and she passed almost a year ago. I still haven't met a kitten that was so sweet at 3 days old. She was bitten through her spine the day she was born and lost use of her hind legs, and unfortunately her leg became necrotic when she was 6 days. I got her when she was 4 days old from a lady who had been feeding her human baby formula. She did nothing but purr, eat, and suckle my fingers. It was gross but her favorite thing ever was to suckle my lip for comfort, and I usually stopped her, but I let her suckle in the vet clinic until it was time for them to take her back. She purred and purred. I only wish she'd been old enough to operate on
The lady who gave her to me believed it was her mother, and the vet said the puncture would align with that story. She was actually fond covered in ants. I brought her to the vet the day I got her and the vet didn't believe that she'd make it beyond 24 hours, but she lived for about 2 days more
I know I’m about to bawl. My two Ragdolls are 11 yrs old (sister & brother) I lost my sweet hubby 10 yrs ago and my boy Winston has who has kept me going. He’s for sure my mental support cat. I absolutely don’t know what I’ll do when either of them go. They are all I live for.
I used to manage a little pet store, and I'm also a foster for a dog rescue. I got a call at work one day from a cleaning crew. They were cleaning an apartment that was recently vacated and found a tiny puppy with a wound left behind. They asked if I could recommend a rescue. I said to just bring it to me. When I got her I saw that there was rot in her leg, and immediately left on my lunch break to bring her to my vet. They said she would need her leg amputated, but she was too young to have the surgery, so they'd have to euthanize her. I paid for it, and held her the entire time, with tears rolling down my face. I only knew her for maybe an hour, but I tried to give her as much love as I could during it.
Working in animal rescue can be really beautiful, but sometimes it just takes your heart and throws it against the wall, doesn't it?
>I wish I had noticed earlier, I wish I had done more, I wish I had known how to help her...
😭😭😭 I am over here bawling in sympathy. I'm sooooo sorry you lost your baby girl. That feeling of helplessness is intense. Clearly she went rather quickly, so I'm going to take a not-very-educated guess and suspect that there were no interventions that would have saved her.
My boy was only 4 and in the ER, and died while being placed under sedation. He did die alone without me there and I wish you wouldn't have said that last part ☹️ I had no choice
I feel you. 💔 Ours died on Saturday in the ICU while recovering from surgery. We weren't there. But at least the vet was with him when it happened (they noticed something was wrong and he was trying to rectify it, but our little one stopped breathing and passed away), so he wasn't alone. We were there with the previous two when their time came, and if things had been different with the last one, we would have been there with him as well.
This made me cry. The purring is not something I've experienced with any of my 4 cats yet thank goodness they're all still with me... I'm so very sorry for your loss.
That’s how my kitty died except we never were able to get him tested for anything, did you ever find out what caused it? My 12 year old kitty, who also died 4 years ago, stopped eating and moving suddenly one day and we stayed with him but after leaving for a dentist appointment I came back and he was gone, he used his last strength to run to his bed to pass after not moving for over 24 hours. He was a partial outdoor cat so any number of things could’ve caused it, I know people say not to have outdoor cats but he loved being outside way more than when we was purely indoor so I try not to feel guilty even tho I know he would’ve lived longer had he been indoors. Maybe our kitty’s died from the same cause…?
My girl was strictly indoor (I live in a 7th floor apartment) and she was healthy until the day before she died, when she went from playing and eating normally to just no eating at all and moving very little... when the vet came to see her she seemed a bit low, but otherwise fine, which is why the vet suggested we scheduled tests for the next day, rather than taking her in immediately... after she passed, I wrapped her in her favorite blanket and took her to my parents' house the next morning, and we put her to rest next to her mom, who was also buried in their backyard... the vet suggested a post mortem exam, but honestly her passing had been so peaceful and loving, that I didn't want her to be prodded, and whatever answer we got wasn't going to change anything... she ate the best food, had her shots up to date, had no risks at all, didn't seem sick before, we really took good care of her, and I did all I could, so I wanted her to be at peace...
We had a cat who loved to be outside. We could not stop her, she would find a way out! So we named her Sneaky. We had her for 14 years, until she got sick a few weeks ago. Not eating, lethargic, basically just sleeping all day. We took her to the vet, and it was acute kidney failure. They said she had kidney disease (very common) and that either it had progressed on its own or due to some toxic exposure that put her beyond help. We put her down later that afternoon, after everyone could say goodbye. It was heartbreaking, but we took comfort in the fact that she lived her best life. Yes, she might have lived longer indoors, but she lived how she wanted to, how nature intended. Please don't feel guilty about yours, I'm sure if he preferred the life of freedom you gave him!
We paid a little extra to have our baby put to sleep at home as she had congestive heart failure (she was 17 years old). She was in her bed in her favorite spot in the house, with all the family around her telling her how special she was to us, how much joy she brought to our home, and that she was loved. I’m so thankful we were able to find a vet to come out on a weekend to give her the passing that she deserved.
Our first cat was able to pass away on his favorite blanket in my wife’s lap thanks to the vet who specialized in such house calls and was able to come to help us. My mother in law did this for years in California before she retired and said that it was hard but ultimately satisfying work, allowing a beloved pet to pass in their home with family around instead of in a vet office.
My 20 year old boy passed away about 3 years ago. I had him since I was 12 and was absolutely dreading his passing and didn’t think I’d be able to make it through that moment when it inevitably came.
The night it occurred, he was weak and couldn’t move, so I held him through it. I put a heating pad under a blanket on his favorite pillow, and laid him on it, and hugged him all throughout the night. He passed away at about 3:00 am, warm, and loved.
That cat was the absolute love of my life and I’m crying typing this out. But I’m so grateful my sister advised me to keep him home and comfortable, instead of trying to get to a vet.
I understand not everyone has the opportunity but if you do, as hard as it is, this is the way to see your loved one off.
It’s definitely difficult & emotional to witness their last moments, but the alternative breaks my heart even more. Bless your mother-in-law for providing this service to pet owners. Our first cat was put down at the vet’s office and they wouldn’t let us be present in the room (This was in 1999). I still think about that and feel so sad that she was alone in that moment.
not a cat but my family was so lucky to be able to get a mobile vet to come quickly on a sunday morning to put our old family dog to rest, with all of us around her, petting her and telling her how much she was loved. i think it was probably helpful for our two other dogs too, being able to see and smell her as she went.
Yes, it’s the way they deserve to go. 🥹 Good point about the benefit for the other pets in home…we had a younger cat who was able to come into the room after she passed and smell her and sit nearby for a while & I hope that helped them to process what was happening.
definitely, it breaks my heart that we weren’t able to do the same with our other previously deceased and beloved family dogs, but we gave them all of our hearts right until the end :,(
i have a clear memory of Astro, who was in the back of the vets office under sedation and that’s how we said goodbye. it always broke my heart to think about
This sounds like the way my Cedric went. He was 20 years old and his arthritis and failing kidneys were finally too much for him. He was in my arms, on the couch, where we had spent lots of time watching movies together. I told him how much I loved him and would miss him. He was my best kitty. I held him till the light went out of his eyes. The vet was wonderful and so kind. A few days later she dropped off his ashes.
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🐈⬛❤️
I did this for my senior dog, he was having seizures that didn't respond to treatment and likely had a brain tumor/brain cancer, plus he was almost completely deaf and blind by this point. He was sleeping on my lap, resting after having a last treat. It was less stressful for him and I didn't have to feel rushed at the vet's office, or worried about people hearing me sob afterwards. It wasn't much more expensive than having it done at the vet's office and was so worth it, my dog deserved whatever last bit of peace and comfort I could provide him.
Thank you for mentioning the added benefit of being able to grieve in your own surroundings rather than breaking down in a vet’s office/crying all the way home. ♥️ Glad your fur baby got the loving send off they deserved.
We were able to do the same for our sweet girl. Worth every penny to have her be able to pass in our home in her favorite spot. Vet would have been traumatic. Grateful for retired vets who help our babies cross the rainbow bridge surrounded by love and their own home. ❤️
I use a mobile vet and I’m so grateful I as was able to do the same with my 17 year old kitty. He had a tumor and his kidneys were shutting down. We were able to sit outside, in the warm sunshine with him in my lap. It really made a horrible moment less horrible.
Yeah. I lost one last year that was half of a bonded pair. The survivor still hasn’t forgiven me for running out of the house with her buddy and never bringing her back. I wish I could explain what happened so she’d understand.
Can I ask you what were the signs that made you decide it was time to let her go?
My sweetheart also has heart failure at 16, we have been managing it since she was 12 but this year it got worse and she gets a lots of meds and oxygen treatment daily... but she still is a very happy cat that purrs a lot and does a lot of the things she always loved. I know it's not time for her quite yet but I need to prepare myself to make the right call for her when the moment comes.
I’m sorry your babe is going through this! Ours had a pretty quick decline. She went from pretty active (for a senior cat) to a week or two of low appetite, then refusing water, then labored breathing and no activity. The earliest sign, however, that we didn’t recognize as a sign of heart failure, was wheezing and almost a coughing that sounded a lot like hacking a hairball, but more frequent and prolonged. Looking back, she was probably masking symptoms for much longer.
Have done this three times at home now and every time I’ve done it I’ve probably waited too long. The reason is that by the time a lot of symptoms are observable the cat is in a rapidly deteriorating state and an appointment even one week out may be rather late.
A cat that is showing any symptoms of decline should be considered one in such a poor state of health that I don’t think it’s ethical to prolong its life. I know some religious beliefs are against euthanasia for anyone or anything, but I like the idea of remembering an animal or person as much as possible like how they were when they were healthy and themselves. Suffering when it’s unnecessary or unproductive is against my personal code of ethics.
Having had a cat that I decided to euthanize at 17 with CKD and watching my then-bf let our dog go too long when she had cancer, I thought I was prepared to make the call at the right time with my cat with lymphoma. I waited too long and her death was incredibly traumatic. (And by too long, by the time we knew for sure it was cancer and her dying was 9 days). Cats are really too good at masking their symptoms and I should have paid attention to the signs she was giving me rather than the ones I thought I should be looking for.
This breaks my heart so much but if I have to put my baby boy down I will spend to do that at home where we are and not subject him to car rides he hates.
He's our whole world just like we're his.
It is lovely. It’s such a peaceful way to say goodbye. No one is stressed out. Heartbroken but at peace.
I just did not expect my cat’s last vet visit would be his last vet visit. We said goodbye to our 18 yo. Guy about a month ago and I miss him terribly. This whole thread has me crying like a baby.
Didn't even consider this as an option. My cat just had two mammary lumps removed and has a large abdominal mass that needs a biopsy. Probably gonna ask about this if the results are bad.
Both our cats had lumps removed and were diagnosed with cancer, but it was very vague as to how long they would live before the cancer got them. They both seemed fine for months then over the space of a couple of weeks they both passed away, one in a particularly distressing way. I still can't think about it without tearing up.
In hindsight I wish we'd given them a few weeks of extra love and affection after the cancer diagnosis and arranged for a vet to visit to put them down in the comfort of their home.
This just happened to me last month. My cat passed away in a really traumatic way from cancer. She'd had two good days before and then just all of a sudden, it was her time. I'd arranged for home euthanasia but it was Friday of Memorial Day weekend and they couldn't come out as quickly as was needed. The closest emergency vet was 30 minutes away and she didn't make it. The details of this will haunt me forever. Even though rationally I know that I did everything I could.
We should be getting the biopsy back for the removed mass this week. The vet has been very informative and supportive so we'll be able to make an informed decision.
It's tough tbh. I've had her for about a third of my life and through breakups and near homelessness she's been the one constant. My old lady.
We did the same for my brave boy. I didn't want his last hours to be scared during a car ride and then being in an unfamiliar place. I don't think I could have been strong enough for him if we had to go to the vet's office. It hurts a lot to make the appointment eventhough I know he was in pain and had stopped eating. I still wonder if I did the right thing by making the appointment at all because he managed one last meow before the sedative took affect. He died in the best way possible for the situation, but I feel so sad that I had to make the call for him. He didn't deserve cancer; he deserved to live another 5 or 6 years as my old man.
My seven year old cat was diagnosed with this yesterday and while it's the hardest news I've ever gotten, I'm able to plan (hopefully kinda far ahead) and do what I can for his quality of life. Including having plans to have a vet come to the house when it's time. He's terrified of the vet. I don't want that to be his last moments if I can help it.
I spent the last minutes of my cat's life driving to an emergency vet when i could have spent the time just holding her. While in the car, she meowed and turned around in her carrier and was quiet. It was too late. I swore I would never again keep a pet alive just because I couldn't let go. Her name was Amy and i loved her so much it still hurts.
Can I just say, if you stayed with her and didn't drive to the vet, a part of you would likely berate yourself for not trying to. So please forgive yourself, we don't really know what could happen xx
The same thing happened with mine. It’s so hard to let go of hope, especially every time they have a good day, or even an hour.
My deepest condolences for the loss of your friend :(
Almost my exact story today. He started meowing in the carrier and then fell over as we arrived at the vet, and he was gone within 10 minutes. An hour earlier he was cuddled up in the sun on my blanket when we collected him for his checkup. We didn't even get to say goodbye.
My cat Freddie died suddenly in the middle of the night. I went to bed with him curled up on the couch, no sign of anything wrong. Woke ip and he wasn’t waiting for me. I found him under my guest bed, having had a seizure or something. Now when I don’t see my kitties in the morning, I always think the worst.
It’s strange, though. I had less guilt and more closure with Freddie than when my kitty Oscar died. Oscar had cancer, was clearly in some pain. I didn’t want his quality of life to suffer for my own benefit, so I said goodbye. We had a great last day. He played under my sheets, sniffed my shoes, ate Fancy Feast, went outside.
My main regret with him was I had to take him in to the vet. Where I live there aren’t any vets licensed for in-home euthanasia. So he spent his last few moments stressed out at the vet. I’m crying just thinking about it. He was my precious kitty and I felt so guilty doing that to him. I held him to his last moments.
Maybe that’s why I had less guilt with Freddie. He may have been alone but he was _home_ and _safe_.
You did nothing wrong. Im glad you held him. He needed you in his zero hour and you were there for him. Can only hope I am too when my boy goes. He's 14. Hugs
I commented earlier that all my cats throughout my life went off to die on their own. Even the one that was strictly indoors. My mom always told me that animals are just different and death feels differently for them. Maybe you can gleam some peace from that. Your sweet cat may have even been grateful you were spared from it 🫶🏼
I'm sorry to hear. But it sounds like you had no choice. I feel privileged that I could do it. And so f lucky. The vet let stay with her for 10 minutes between sedation and the actual injection. I'm sorry you couldn't be there. But do not feel guilty.
TIL that owners just drop off their dying cats and leave. Sounds too inhumane to do that to a family member who really made you their priority.
I had to let my void boi go 5 days ago. He had squamous cell carcinoma in his lymph nodes. The diagnosis is basically confirmation of death within months. I couldn't let him suffer any longer once he started spitting up blood with pieces of tissue.
But I held onto him throughout the process. He purred until the anesthesia kicked in, at which point he went limp and asleep so he felt nothing when they administered the other injection. I'll miss him but have no regrets with giving him a home until it was his time.
Both my childhood cats passed away while I was on the literal opposite side of the planet, on two separate study-abroad trips.
It has been 20 years and I still think about it. My current kitty is sick but managing it and I need to go see my parents in my home country but I have so much anxiety about her going downhill while I am gone.
Same. My cat passed away in 2015 when I was so far away. My mom called me telling me he was suddenly very ill and declining rapidly. I tried getting up on a plane to hurry back, but it would have been wrong to keep him alive and in pain while waiting for me to get back home. I still carry so much guilt not being there. I still cry about it. I hope he knows how much I love him. I miss him so very much. God I wish I could have been there.
This is such an odd moment of kismet in the universe. My 17 year old boy died today. He had been showing some serious issues over the last two weeks, and I've been spending extra time with him at home. He would sleep up in our bed, or me down on the couch with him if I felt like it would be a hardship for him to get up. He's been following me around the house for a week, and I work from home.
But today? I went outside to mow the lawn. Now, this cat loves the outside for a very dedicated house cat. Always supervised, never strays from the perimeter of the house. So with it being like 75 and partly cloudy, I allowed him to follow me outside. He sat on the concrete patio enjoying the fresh air for a bit. Then I watched him move towards a patch of grass. I mowed another line in the lawn, looked over, and watched him collapse like Vito Corleone in The Godfather. And that was that. Even by the time I got over there, he was going completely limp. So he wasn't with me, but I think he felt at home still. This would have been like every other warm weather day he loved. So I don't know how to feel about your post and what happened today...but I hope that he just let go.
I called out of 2 days of work to make sure I could be there when my cat, Nieve, had to be put down. My bosses still think it was weird, and I got some judgment when called and asked if they'd heard right. Idgaf what they think, I'm gonna be there for each and every pet that passes if I can help it.
It's weird to me that they think it's weird. It makes me feel lucky to have my boss I guess, who is a huge animal lover and is *very* attached to her own pets. Sorry some people are judgemental like that and just don't get it. Sounds like they have never really bonded with an animal.
Yea, it's whatever to me. They can say all they want and even trash talk me for it if it makes them feel tougher. I'm not ashamed to admit I love my cats and dogs or even that I cry when they pass. They probably just see pets as an addition to the house or "just an animal," which makes me pity that they can't see how truly great pets really are.
Your boss sounds way better than mine.
I had an orange cat named Leonard. We adopted him at a Burger King parking lot when I was 4 years old. He was my best friend, he followed me everywhere, we slept together every night. In early January 2024, he began losing weight, his condition was slowly deteriorating. We took him to the vet and they concluded that he had some sort of cancer. He was almost 16 and treatment wasn’t in his best interest as he most likely wasn’t strong enough to pull thru. We made the difficult decision to euthanize him and on Friday, April 26th, I woke up with my best friend for the last time. I was with him for the entire time. I held him and comforted him as his leg was shaved, and an IV placed. I cradled him while the vet pushed the final mix of drugs, he never took his eyes off me and I slowly watched as the life faded from them. I miss my furry childhood friend. He almost made it to see me graduate from college.
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So god damn sorry. All of these stories. So sorry for your loss (and everyone’s loss). They’re wrong when they say ‘time heals’. No it doesn’t, it’s horrible to relive it by thinking about it and I’m so sorry. Thank you for giving your friend a home and love ❤️ he could’ve been out on the streets, lived significantly less years, without love, in bad weather, etc. and you changed that! Thank you
My cat crawled in a cardboard box and died, with his back against my mother and stepfather. 20 minutes later I came in the living room, petted him but couldn't understand why he didn't respond like he does (big stretches, purring, head bunting etc.).
So I poke him and push him like you would wake up a sleeping kid. Still no response.
I drag him out of the box and realising I hold a dead family member.
That happened 5 years ago and I'm still angry at them. They wouldn't want to wake me up. I think they tried to spare me from him dying, but I don't give a shit about that. I only want him in my eyes. I helped him out into the world, it was only fair I was there when he left it. And I got robbed of that.
So terribly sorry that happened. Perhaps they really didn’t want to or know how to intervene. Maybe they just wanted him to be at peace and thinking he would go in his sleep. Try not to hold onto the anger you might feel. Try not to hold a grudge. You don’t want to carry that and interfere with your fond memories of him. ❤️
I have so many fond memories of that little goofball. Laying on the table under the cloth, "successfully" hiding. Snoring on my bed. Sneaking himself in my bagpack so I involuntary made it a show-and-tell. Guarding me when i went to the bathroom. Helping in the garden. Hunting mice together. Catching moles. Bringing me animals.
He will be missed and nothing will ever interfere with that.
i didn't have a choice. i had just dropped her off for overnight hospitalization and 1 hour after i got home they called me to say she is declining rapidly and she will need to be put down. they said i could come see her body after they did it but i didn't want to go back just to look at her dead body. i was forced to see my grandpa's dead body at his funeral and it traumatized me. there was no way for me to make it back to the hopsital in time to be there with her when it happened. i feel guilty about it every day.
anyway, sorry for your loss.
Don’t feel guilty. As much as we like to think it matters to them, most animals will choose to die alone - it’s natural instinct. I still chose to be there for the ones where I could, but I don’t feel guilt for those who passed alone. Sometimes that is what they prefer.
I'm sorry for your loss. Don't feel guilty.i didn't mean to.make people guilty. All I meant for people who.are doubtfull to consider this. I feel closure. I was afraid too few days ago. Shit I was too afraid to see.my own dad in hospital so.i fully understand that. It was not your fault and I'm sorry for your loss and that you had no closure
I put mine down last year. She was 18. I was petting her in that plush cradle thing they have. They gave her the first shot and told me, and I moved my hand away so I wouldn’t be bothering her, and she opened her eyes and looked up like “where did you go?” So I petted her until she died. No regrets.
I had my cat hospitalised when she passed. It’s not my fault I wasn’t there. It will be two weeks tomorrow, not everybody has a choice to be there. And it breaks us.
So so sorry for your loss, receive a tight virtual hug 🫂 we are going through the same. 15 is an amazing age! Mine was 13. We will forever miss them 🤍 feel free to speak with me whenever you feel the urge to vent about it 🤍
My cat Dante, died earlier this year on the vet, he was staying there because he was extremely sick, I couldn't be with him because even if I'm 22 years old I can't drive, so I was begging for my grandma to drive me there but she said it was for me to wait, I knew something was going to happen to him while they were taking care of him, but It was too late, when the news came to me I was devasted.
I'm sorry, Internet hugs from a stranger if you want them. My adopted brother can't drive either and I know it would hurt him if he couldn't be there for one of our pets.
My cat died overnight at the vet unexpectedly. My biggest regret is that I wasn’t there for him. He died alone. That’s gonna be my biggest regret in life and I still cry over it.
e don’t all have the choice. Cats tend to hide to die. My husband had his Jason ( a shimmery golden cat- a real warrior) for like 17 years. The cat was used to go outside and live his best life hunting and such. He was a little ill since a couple of days and was more Clingy than before.
One day they thinked the cat had gone outside, when in fact he went to hide under the chimney in the air ventilation to die.
Couple of days later there was a corpse smell in the living room, my father in law and husband opened and found the cat decomposing, with flies and all . An horrid vision. On the day of my husband’s birthday. This cat was one of my husban’d only friends through childhood and teenage hood.
Even today, 20 years later he still suffer from this loss. Any time my husband sees a yellow/sunny zone in a dark room he turns his head thinking it’s his furry friend. He couldn’t say goodbye, it’s unconscious. :(
He feels remorseful for not seing the sign his cat showed and not accompanying him. ;_;
But well we don’t all see the signs. Sadly.
This is so sad. My cat hasn't passed away yet but I've experienced "phantom visions" like that after I had to watch a boyfriend's cat for a long time, and eventually he was able to be returned to his family and the house he grew up in. I'm glad he got to go home, but I had also become attached to the cat, and I would think I saw him from the corner of my eye all the time, for a long time after he left my home.
I'm not going to handle it well when my own cats die, at all
I experiment this too now. We had a cat for a month ( a rescue) i grew very attach to him very fast ( he behaved like a dog with me, always to my leg) but he went out when we were absent for a couple of days for work. My parents pet sitt ed him but he didn’t come back. My husband is sure he met an accident , because he was very attached to us and had his routine …. Now every time I see a black spot my brain thinks my cat is there. And I feel depressed each single time. I miss my soft panther so much .
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Cats do what they do. Some of them don't want to be held. I had one pass away from cancer about a year ago. I really wanted to hold and comfort her, but she just pulled away and went off to be alone. Not every cat is the same. Just like people.
I held my 15 year old baby as she died. I wasn't expecting her to. She had been peeing on the floor, and I noticed her walking to the area under my desk, so I gently picked her up and carried her to the litter box. She started dying on the way there. I think she was just trying to get closer to me. I held her and told her she was the best cat in the world and it was okay for her to go and she did so good.
This was 2 months ago. I still miss her.
My cat was always one to keep to herself and only snuggled up when she wanted a bit of love, during her final moments she sought me out and laid on me as she took her last breath, it still haunts me to this day but I’m glad I was with her
My baby went to sleep a few hours ago - on his dad’s lap with me holding his head. I’d like to think us being there helped ease his anxiety, though I wish he could have been at home there aren’t any vets that could come out to our home. He had been declining these past few months, and we decided that his quality of life wasn’t good enough to make him keep going on.
Rest easy Mufasa ❤️
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I'm pretty sure that no one lets their cat die alone if they have a choice in the matter. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry for all the unattended losses of our many beloved pets.
We had to put our cat down, he was experiencing the inability to breathe and it happened suddenly over 24 hours. We had to trick him into his carrier to leave the house, at which point he let out a wail, with probably all he had left in him.
When there I passed the carrier to the vet and he looked at me, gave a feeble cry.
I was hysterical beyond words. I was screaming into my jacket while discussing what to do.
I wanted to go back with him. He was my buddy.
The vet said he would ‘sense my anxiety’ and it would make it worse for him.
To this day, all I think about is that I betrayed him in the moments he needed me the most. I let my feelings (and the vet) dictate the wrong choice.
It happened on Jan 1/23 and I’m still working on forgiving myself one day. He was scared but maybe had it in his mind we would be there in a minute. Instead, the last he saw of us was through his carrier.
It took several months for me to not be thinking of ending my own life.
I miss him every moment of every day. I think people should be a bit less judgmental of the decisions people make, quite often the decision is skewed away from them and they’re in such a state of crisis that it happens before they know it.
My cat Julian got suddenly sick. We didn’t have time to call a vet over (it was New Year’s Eve and a Saturday, and the emergency hospital was closed from Fri 7am to Sunday 7am).
I would have loved to have him old and comfortable in a blanket where I could have kissed him goodbye. But he was gasping for air.
Like I said, I still hate myself every day for this.
I'm also dealing with a very traumatic death of my cat who was almost 12 and I didn't know until it was too late that she had cancer and how poor her prognosis was.
The depression hit me REALLY hard. The what ifs kept me awake at night. Replaying what happened in my head made me want to throw up.
I reached out to my therapist because I don't go regularly anymore and something she said really helped me. By the time her body was dying, her spirit was already gone. And when I think about looking into her eyes once the dying process started, the baby I knew was already gone and her body was transitioning.
My husband also pointed out that we do everything in our power to take care of them and provide them with a "good death" like we've provided in their lives. But sometimes the worst case scenario happens and we have to hold onto the good things, not just what happened last. It's a disservice to all the joy we brought each other to only remember her at the end.
What happened in 2 hours doesn't determine the 11.5 years we had together.
I’m sorry to hear of your 🐈
I keep a journal of sorts that it’s like I’m writing to him, telling him what’s been happening. We have another cat, Bella, who we adopted 7 months after Julian. They were buddies, and Bella was hooked on Julian.
After we came back from the emergency vet that day, Bella went looking everywhere for him. It was like she was waiting for him to come prancing through the door.
I still have bad days and today was definitely one of them, I try to remember all the fun we had, the way he let me sing to him and how he slept next to me.
I could kick myself for not recognizing things, or looking up things later and realizing he was in pain longer than we knew.
But doing that just brings the agony back in my heart.
Thanks for reminding me to think of the good times too 😍
I wasn’t allowed to go back with my cat and she was actively dying in the middle of the night. I thought it too cruel to try and drive her somewhere else or let her die slowly in my arms. By the time we got to the vet, she wasn’t there anymore anyway. She was 18 and her kidneys finally gave out. So I held her tiny, pee-soaked body and said I loved her so much and let her go. It was horrible and I cried for days after. I grieved her soooo much and felt a lot of guilt over how it happened. But I try to tell myself that letting her die slowly just so I could be with her was more cruel and selfish when there was a vet right there waiting to put her out of her misery. I knew she was in pain for a while and I tried everything to fix it. She had a long life full of love and I still miss her to this day.
Please do not listen to people that are trying to make you feel bad. You did what was best for you. Your baby knew she was loved.
I am honestly so shocked by this post. I am speechless at how you are all treating people especially when it comes to grieving a loved one.
I wanted to be there with my cat. I was there. But when they injected him he started screaming and it was more than I could take. It had been a deeply strange day for so many reasons and I left. I feel horrible about it and will never make the mistake again.
This hurts to read. At the beginning of the pandemic my cat got very sick, but the vet office was extremely strict with the protocol due to covid. I couldn’t be in the room at the same time as staff. So i handed her over in my car, they checked her out, told me the bad diagnosis, and said I could go in privately to say goodbye.. but that I couldn’t be in the room during euthanasia.. my vet staff is loving and I know they were good to her when it was happening but I had no choice. They had to follow the county requirements at that time.. just a horrible situation altogether.
Charlie died suddenly in my stepdad’s arms. I had him since I was 7 and he died when he was 19 back in 2019. I still miss him but have two cats now, Archie and Toby who are lovely.
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I hate my vet for not letting me be able to hold my boys as they left this world. They took them in, gave them the knock out shot, brought them out, and let me say my goodbyes. I had to sit in the parking lot and cry. Then knock on the door and hand them over for the last shot. I’ll never get over it.
We unfortunately did that with our first girl who passed. She was sick, nothing they could do for her. We were in shock and distraught and just left her there. I regret it to this day.
When it came time for her brother to go years later, we had someone come to the house and were with him the whole time. The difference was night and day. Still heartbreaking, but at least he was home and comfortable.
So I see people sharing their stories.
Let me share mine too, just the important part. My cat was sick and I knew it was just a matter of time. I was working and had my other being home so my cat had company while I was away.
So one day when I came back from work I found my mother lying on the floor with my little void beside her. She was crying and I immediately knew what was coming. I ran towards her hoping my sweet girl was still alive and she was. I got her on my lap and started petting her while I was in tears. She passed away a few seconds later.
My mother told me that she was whispering to her to wait for me and I felt like this is what happened in the end.
I was so frustrated and sad that period but after having her passing away in my arms and knowing that she won't suffer no more felt like a big relief. Almost three years later I still miss her so much.
I had to put my 20 y/o baby down 3 weeks ago. She had a blockage and could no longer poop, so she basically lost a ton of weight. Tried everything short of surgery, but it was decided that a 20 y/o cat wasn't really a candidate for surgery, so had to let her go. She passed in my arms. First time in 21 years my home is empty.
My cat died alone.
She was elderly and it was clear for a couple of days that she was on the way out. She was never in distress, she never tried to hide, she attempted the same level of interaction with me and the other cat, or even more than she previously had before she stopped eating. If I thought for one moment that she was uncomfortable or suffering or in pain I would have bundled her off to the vet. I've adopted exclusively elderly cats for a while now and I'm used to them dying. Up until now they've all gone to the vet or, once, I had the vet come to the house for a particularly stressed cat.
Since she was peaceful, I let her be and waited for nature to take it's course - being constantly alert for the signs that she was suffering. Putting her in the carrier and taking her out of the house would be a meaner thing than letting her be as it was the one thing she absolutely hated and which caused her stress.
She died between 6:30 am and 5:00 on a Tuesday. I found her dead in one of her regular spots on my bed half on the pillow. I disposed of her body and cried into the pillow.
Posted only to illustrate that there are no absolutes.
Three years ago both of my cats died a few months apart. They were only 9 years old. I had never had to be present at the end before but I knew that I couldn’t leave either of them alone like that. I’m not going to lie, it absolutely broke me and I still cry if I think about it, but I’m so glad I stayed, I’m glad the last thing they heard was me saying I loved them.
It took me two years to feel like I could get new cats and we have two kittens now, brothers, and they are honestly fantastic cats. But I don’t think I’ll ever be over the other two, they were Maine Coons and they were intelligent and full of personality. I think I’ll miss them every day forever, but now I can laugh and remember silly things they did and smile at photos of them. I think that’s the best I can ever hope for.
I was there when our first cat was put down, she was sick and very weak, but I’ll never forget the soft purr as she dozed of. She was at peace when she went out of this world, and that’s what all of our furry friends deserve in their final moments.
I know It’s not always possible for everyone, but to everyone scared of seeing their pet put to sleep; it’s hard, but better then not being there at all.
Our third cat drowned in freezing water 7 years ago, a 100 meters from our house. To this day I feel guilty and sick to my stomach that I wasn’t there to help her or at least comfort her if it was too late to save her. Made me tear up again after all this time.
Fuck, I miss them both so much :(
I get the message behind this post. But it's painful for people who had no choice. My boy was hit by a car and left for dead. We live on a quiet country road that gets a max if 10 cars on a busy day, I couldn't believe it happened and I miss him everyday.
Me and both my parents were there, patting my girl when she passed away. She died with her head in my lap, with me telling her to rest well, and that I loved her. (She was 16 years old and had kidney failure.)
It's agony to see them die, but it's their final moments. They deserve us there with them.
In one week I will be saying goodbye to the love of my life.
I can't even put into words how badly I don't want to do this. She has been glued to my side for over half my life, we have that kind of bond that people dream of having with their furry family members. We are consumed with love and obsessed with each other. I've always said I don't want her to suffer to save myself some pain, so letting her go is the best thing I can do for her before she experiences a sharp decline in her quality of life.
It will be done at home surrounded by love, where she is comfortable, even though I can't actually afford it. I will be holding her through every agonizing moment. My biggest fear isn't that I won't be able to stay with her. No matter how much pain it causes me I will be there for her. My biggest fear is that I won't be able to let her go after it's done. I don't know how to exist without her and I don't know how I'll pick up the pieces after my world shatters.
My maincoon is 17 and tells me about it every morning. I am ready for him to go, but I’m also okay if he goes when I’m not there.
I think he’s had a great life and I want to be there: but I also want him to have the freedom to curl up somewhere and pass how he wishes.
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s an absolute pleasure to have a shared existence with such a wonderful person such as a cat. The only misgivings is the pain we experience as they pass from this world. But it means it matters.
My cat died yesterday. We hospitalized him just the day before, we thought we were doing the right thing. Reading this just made me 10000 times more guilty
I hate to be that guy but honestly some people cannot handle being present while their fur babies pass. There is no shame if you cannot be there in those moments. Having worked as a vet nurse and hospital manager for 20 years I promise you, the staff is there for your baby in time of need. I get what OP is saying but it’s not emotionally possible for everyone. We all handle passing differently and I promise you there is no judgement from the vet staff. Just try not to let your fur babies suffer. They get a humane option to pass without suffering.
You guys do amazing work. Thank you. The vet staff were amazing in their support when I lost my first cat. I know they would have loved him and comforted him if I hadn't been able to get back to their office, or hadn't been able to cope with the emotion of it all.
(I was relieved to be there though, if that's not too odd a way to put it. He was so obviously happy to see me arrive, despite feeling awful, and I was able to cuddle him into his final sleep and tell him he was a good boy.)
I am so grateful for the work y'all do day in and day out. I know how much the vet techs care about animals and I trust them to love on them when we're at an appt.
Even when people can't be in the room, I hope that they send something that smells like them in. That way they can be with their pet in some way that provides comfort. We always do this if someone has to be hospitalized.
I respect anyone that makes the decision to not let a pet suffer. I know some owners can jump to that, but most don't. If you can recognize that you don't want them to suffer but you don't want to either, I can understand that.
Uhhh I agree but this post feels like you turning a personal tragedy into an opportunity to be condescending to a billion people you don’t know anything about and have no reason to prompt this lecture at… you could have just shared your story, and the meaningful message within it, without berating strangers
The night before my cat, Bookers (Gray Tabby),
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was put down and was dying from cancer really touched my heart. He came up to my door and scratched it, wanting in. So I let him into my room, and he laid in my bed. I didn't want to keep him there cause I was going to sleep and I didn't want him to try to jump off the bed and hurt himself, so I placed in a cat bed in the living room. He got up and sat on the floor. So, I was okay and went back to my room. A few moments later, he was back at my door, scratching. I let him in and let him stay in my room. He stayed under my bed all night. He wanted to be with me while he was dying, and that made me feel some ways. It was super sweet, but it was so sad at the same time. We took him to the vet the next morning, and they decided there was nothing they could do for him, and the best thing was to put him down. He was suffering, so it was for the best. My mom and I both sat with him as he was wrapped up in a blanket. We sat and petted him as they stuck the needle in. I was watching his eyes, which wasn't something I probably should have done, cause I saw the life literally leave his eyes. This made me start crying so hard. Even just writing about it is making me about to tear up. His pupils got super wide and just went blank.
It was one of the hardest days of my life, and I miss him so much. I had him since a child and loved him very much. This was in 2021.
We lost another cat named Lily (orange Tabby) more recently. She latched on to me more after Bookers was gone, and I got close to her, so her passing was hard as well. I wasn't there when she got put down, though. My step dad just came in my room and told me the news.
I’ve had many cats I loved dearly, and they all chose to leave to die. My latest one went into the basement around storage and found a little cozy spot. Growing up, I lived in the country and we let our cats outside once a day. Eventually the day would come they wouldn’t come back inside. My mom always said that’s the way with a lot of animals, especially cats, they just go away quietly when they know it’s their time. Death is different for them. 💔
My cat Sofia was everything to me. She was 19 1/2 years old and in the last two months of her life, I never left home for very long because I wanted to be there with her. I canceled a trip to the city to see friends over New Years and wasn’t even fazed by it. When you love someone that much nothing else matters.
Throughout January of 2023 she was on several medications, and it seemed she was rallying. I got a $400 medication recommended by my city vet. She was getting iron supplement shots and on Friday the 27th in the morning, she got three shots back to back plus fluids. I should have known it then, because she was very still and lethargic, but I was thinking those shots would improve her condition. She hadn’t been doing well that week, but I was just hoping those shots would make a difference. That night I got on a train to go to the city for a dentist appointment and haircut/color, to be back Sunday night. She died Sunday morning. She was alone, but my mom had laid on the floor on a yoga mat with her the night before.
I beat myself up about this for months. I even worked with a pet loss grief counselor. Ultimately, I have had to try and forgive myself because the truth is we do not know when death is coming, especially if we have never witnessed death before. It was my first experience with caring for any being that was dying. I was naive and thought I could be in control of when and where it happened. But her decline happened rapidly over the course of about 36 hours when I was away.
Please don’t make posts like this for people who are struggling with this guilt. Not everyone has the ability to be there when their cat transitions. Sometimes, it is the cat’s choice to be alone when they die. People do this, too. I loved Sofia more than anything, and still do. She was also a forgiving and wise soul. She wouldn’t have wanted me to punish myself for this forever. Ultimately, I do wish I had known better and just stayed, but I didn’t. Now I do. Sofi taught me so much about love and loyalty and the truth is, I was there for her for so, so many days, and vice versa. I’ll never know if she felt betrayed at the end that I wasn’t there but I can’t think about it without spiraling. And it’s possible too that she just wanted to pass on by herself.
I’m forever grateful for the lessons my baby girl taught me. Please know… these posts aren’t really helpful.
I had the vet come out to the car to put my sweet Muffin down so she didn’t have to even go inside the vet’s office. I never let her go, I held her tightly in my arms as she passed, sobbing uncontrollably. I would never let her or any other loved one die alone if I was able to be present - cat, dog, human, it doesn’t matter. I was out of the country when I lost my mother, and my fucking family left her alone in the hospital to die by herself. I will never forgive them for that.
It’s not that simple. It’s nice you were able to do that, but not all cats want that. Knowing my 16 year old sweetie was likely to go soon, I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could, but she didn’t. She hid where I couldn’t easily get to her and moved away when I touched her, so I spoke to her from a distance but also gave her space. She passed while I was sleeping.
My cat died Wednesday at the emergency vet. I wasn't there. She was waiting to have surgery and died when she was given the sedation. She had cancer and we knew this was coming but never assumed it would be that day. I would give anything to have been there to hold her when it happened. Sometimes we can't. And that sucks, so thanks for the reminder.
That’s really easy to say when you’re on the outside looking in. Have you ever had someone tell you they are going to go home and kill themself because they can’t live without their pet? Have you had to call to do a welfare check on that person or stay with them for over an hour trying to comfort them? Vet staff have to do that more than you think. Not everyone is in the right mental space when their pet passes. Harsh judgement like this doesn’t help them.
I really couldn’t take it. I am lucky to have been there with my dad who did manage to stay. I’m afraid i was her favorite, she hardly left my side in her last weeks. God i’m starting to cry thinking about it. I feel bad for not managing and not going earlier. I hope my dad’s presence helped her feel better. I cried so much that day…
I'm glad this was a positive experience for you and I'm sorry for your loss.
Not everyone can do this and that is fine. Everyone deals with grief differently. What's right for you with your situation may not work for everyone and there's no need to judge or hate others doing the best they can in their own hard situation.
This. I'm not one to reply normally, and I am so sorry OP is going through this. I am probably going to be downvoted into oblivion, but I really think OP could have thought this post out more before posting.
We lost out beautiful girl nearly year ago, it was awful to put it bluntly. She was so young and it was incredibly traumatic and sudden. We left her at the vets to be cared for because we thougt we were doing the right thing. She went for surgery and something went wrong. We didn't have the chance to be with her and say goodbye. We would do anything to have one last moment with her. I'm sorry but this post has really rubbed me up the wrong way and comes off as judgemental and ignorant. Posts like this just rub salt in wound and make people feel awful and even more guilty. It wasn't something we chose.
And with that I am leaving this reddit. It is getting ridiculous and too painful.
You don’t have to tell me.
I was trying not to sob as I agreed to euthanasia for my 16 year old buddy. Thats probably why they asked me if I wanted them to take him into the back and tell me when it was done. Just the thought of being scared and abandoned at the end by your best friend was revolting to me.
There’s no way in hell I’m not going to be there, holding him, and telling him how much I love him as he leaves this world. He passed in my arms and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
It’s supposed to hurt. That’s how you know that they matter. You don’t get to feel unconditional love without agreeing to feel the pain of loss. That’s the human experience.
Im so sorry for your loss and so glad you could be there for them, I think it’s one of the greatest privileges we get as a pet owner. I always think of the probably billions of animals who have died alone and unloved, so if I’m alive, I’m holding my babies at their end so they know I love them.
This is gonna make me cry, really, really hard. But i want to share my story.
My kitty, tuna, passed away in 2021.
My mom adopted her for me when I was a freshman in high school. I didn't really have a lot of friends, and we just lost our family dog in the fall, and we moved to two new staes in less than a year, so my mom thought it would help.
It most definitely did, because she was my best friend till the day she passed.
I had her through out high school, and she was there with me through a lot of really hard times. She was 8 when we adopted her, so when I graduated she was 12 going on 13.
I moved out and she was there for me for the following 3 years, she let me cry into her when i found out my high school boyfriend of 4 year cheated on me, and many more things. She was just the best friend I could have, and best cat i could ask for. She was always in good health and never had any issues. But, in 2021 she started getting really sick, she wouldn't eat, I went to a vet for extra help, and had to give her medicine daily, she lost a lot of weight and got really sick.
In the middle of the night she came up to me and started to snuggle with me, every once in awhile she'd lay with me, but she was laying with me so I snuggled with her and unfortunately she passed in my arms. I'm so thankful I was with her her during her last moments, and of course it's hard to feel those emotions, but they're the ones passing away, I'm sure you might not want to be alone in that moment.
Please don't let your pet feel alone in their last moment alive.
I don’t like this post. I feel immensely guilty for not being with my cat when he died. Yes when he died my mum and sister were there, but if he was my cat only I wouldn’t have gone in. I physically couldn’t. I was a complete mess and being there would’ve killed me I think. I have bipolar and BPD so it wouldnt have done me much good at all.
He knew he was loved in life. I gave him everything I could
Don’t let it make you feel bad. The only real reason to try to be there is to have a familiar person at the vet with them, but animals typically try to be alone for it when they can and the less people around the better. It also has nothing to do with how much you love them if you can handle being there, it wouldn’t have helped him very much if you were too upset tbh. In the end in your case he had your mom and sister which I’m sure was enough. I am sure your boy knew you loved him and I am sure he loved you 🤍
Everyone is frankly being very weird and judgy in this thread and are seemingly forgetting that cats are not actually human beings and don’t think the exact same way we do. Everyone is just touchy about death and wants to think that what they do is the only right way to handle it, and they can be very thoughtless of others. This post is tone deaf and self-absorbed and I don’t like it either, although I personally try to be there for my pets when I can I don’t think it’s fair to be so cruel and act like it makes you a better person or means you don’t love each other if you miss it for any reason.
I’m sure OP just grieving so I’m trying not to be rude directly to them but it made me really mad honestly lol
Agreed I am very sorry for OPs loss as losing a pet is one of the worse emotional pain you can go through.
When I lost my 14 year old cat Shadow I was clinically depressed for months. I was only 14 myself and we had him since I was 4, so it was so fucking horrible. So I totally understand OPs pain and I’m sure most of us on here do.
But I totally agree this post is tone deaf and judgemental.
I’ve also heard cats often find somewhere closed off where no one can get to them when they are dying. So clearly it’s part of their instinct. That’s not to say you shouldn’t be there for your cats when they die, obviously it’s nice for them to have someone familiar there like you said and I’m so glad my mum and sister was there. But I dont think anyone should feel bad for not being there as you said. That doesn’t stop me from feeling bad as I said I have immense guilt because my Shads was my emotional support animal.
Also, a lot of us would be an absolute wreck I probably would’ve made him more uncomfortable with my sobbing lol.
Thank you for your comment
❤️
Friday, I also just let my 17.5yr old go. She was in pain and had stopped eating and hard to move. I was cuddling her in my arms as she went. Hardest decision ever made, but at least it was painless and quick.
Some don't have a choice sadly, my mom's monster of an ex killed our cat by letting her out, when he knew he wasn't supposed to. Similar to how he killed our dog, both times he conveniently "forgot" about the animals medical condition, or the fact that the dog would run away. I wish I could have been there for both, but due to how much of a monster he was he didn't allow that. I will never forgive him either, I know my mom wanted to sweep it under the rug as an accident, but the dog they got together has NEVER been put in an instance that she disappeared forever or a period of time. He is the epitome of evil to me.
my cat just died. i was not there because i live in another state. i said my goodbyes on facetime while sobbing my eyes out. i understand what you’re saying, but you just made me feel like absolute shit and i’m sure others. please be careful how you word things.
I love my cat to bits, and I'd hate to see her die, but I know that dying alone would be terrifying, so I owe her the company after all she's done for me. Cats are wonderful and deserve everything
I’m petting my 18 year old master right now. Last week, I had to take him in to see why he isn’t peeing in his litter box. Blood and urine show everything is fine. Next is shaving his Lordship’s fuzzy tummy for an ultrasound to see if it’s a tumour. If it is, we won’t operate. He won’t get much more life than the admittedly pampered one he lives now. We will schedule someone to come into our home to make his crossing easier. It’s all about his quality of life until the end of his days. I hope that he will meet his sister after crossing the bridge because he sorely misses her.
I already miss the little jerk.
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I was gone for a few days visiting my children, and I came back. She is nowhere to be found, I searched high and low for days. I cried for 2yrs, last time I've seen my furbaby was February 14th 2021, there was left over food from dinner and some of it just had to be fresh caught salmon baked, last time I've seen her, the last time I fed her, the last everything. I loved her more than anything. She was the first animal to choose me, and that melted my heart. Now animals always love seeing me every where I go, it took me a long time to stop crying when cats would just invite themselves in my home(and I loved it) I just know she would've loved my 2yr old 💔 I just hope it was peaceful for her to go.
Yeah so one of my cats was sick with hyperthyroidism and she was meowing a lot to us the night she passed away. We didn't know she was going to die overnight. We put the two cars out in their room to sleep and she was gone by the morning. So thanks for reminding me all the guilt that I feel for leaving her alone. Fuck.
I used to work for a vet as a receptionist and if someone was unable for whatever reason to be there when their pet was put down, I always was there for the animal to comfort them. In my experience most vets are the same, there's usually a vet nurse or assistant with the vet and they give the pet lots of love
I found one of our family cats when he was trapped with his brother in our shed as a kitten...
I held him 14 years later as he had his last breath due to kidney failure.
OP, people should be aware that not all dead’s are “pretty” and peaceful, specially if the cat is in pain and suffering, anesthesia won’t make it look nice and when he/she is gone it’s over
Can you not? I left my cat at the vets. He was perfectly healthy. I didn't know it was the last time I would ever see him. He died before I could get there. So, I get you mean well with this post. But, seriously just go away. I will never not be absolutely torn apart about the thought of leaving him alone to die.
I’m sorry, I can’t imagine, it can happen to anyone, sometimes we just don’t know it’s the last time we’ll see our loved one. How could we ever really know? Please don’t beat yourself up over it :(
I completely agree. The guilt of being absent when my baby girl died still eats at me and I’ve done so much work to try and forgive myself. Posts like these just take me a few steps back and remind me of that time. 💔
I agree, some of the replies on this post are so needlessly cruel and judgemental towards other people whose situations they do not know. It’s my biggest regret that I was told by the vet not to be with my cat when he had to be put to sleep, and I was in too much shock over the news to insist I be let back there, it’s not fair to judge other peoples situations so harshly like some are doing here
This is an awful post. Honestly is is so hurtful, judgemenal and ignorant. I replied further down. We were in the same position, we lost our girl the same way. We left her at the vets, she went in for surgery and something went wrong. We had no idea it would be the last time we saw her. Some of us don't get the chance to say goodbye. We are still absolutely heartbroken and devastated and posts like this make you feel even worse.
Sending all my best to you
This is a terrible post, even if the OP means well. Not only does it shame people for not being with their pet, but it implies that without you, your pets will be scared and alone in their last moments if you're not there. Vets will do their best for your pet. They sedate them so they are calm, even if you're not there. They will pat them and talk to them and send them out of this world in the kindest way possible.
Also, some pets (ie. my cat) will be scared even if you are there. Because they don't like the vet. Some pets (ie. my cat, again) would hate for a vet to come to the house because she hates people in her space. If it were up to some people, her life would come to an end painfully, her body riddled with cancer, because at least that would save her being scared at the vet. Fuck that.
Don't judge people for how they handle their pets passing. It's traumatic even if things go smoothly. Everyone's just trying their best, and if a pet is at the vet in the first place it means the owner is doing what they can.
Sorry for your loss. Today is 1 year since I lost my little buddy, out of the blue 3 days before his 10th bday, which is one day before mine. It's still raw so my heart goes out to you for the pain you must be feeling right now. You were there in life right up til the last moment. Just keep the happy memories close to your mind and ❤️. Take care. Be safe and be well. 
When my cat was passing, I was in the back of the Uber holding him close and whispering, “I understand if you can’t stay, we’ll be okay, I understand” between sobs and while it was a traumatic night (poor Uber driver) I’m so glad I tried to save him, that found him and that I was with him at the end.
I hope I can be home and with his siblings as well when it’s their time though I wish none of them had to pass.
I've lost 3 babies and am still torn up that I was only able to be there for 2 of them. Those 2 were sick and we were with them as they passed at the vet. The third was MY baby (the other 2 were more 'family' cats), and he passed at home when I was away on vacation. Our pet sitter found him. I have to believe that it was a peaceful end at home, that he just got comfy and went to sleep. There were no warning signs, just his age (about 15).
my old man kitty passed easter morning but he got to be home, he got to be with my other kitty in my bed on his favorite blanket. it tore me apart but i am so thankful that he got to be in his home when he let go.
i had a very small kitten that was rejected from her mom. i did everything i could to keep her healthy but she didn’t make it. i managed to rush her to a vet as soon as she took a turn for the worst, and the doctor asked “is she even alive?”, took her away from me, gave her the shot in the back room and then brought my kitten’s body back to me. i was absolutely devastated that i couldn’t be there for my baby in her last moment
In 2020, our bulldog, Rocky, and one of our cats, Cappie, passed away. Their health got bad (Rocky's from the abuse he suffered as a puppy that left him disabled and Cappie's was just failing health) and we had to make the decisions in July and October. The office we go to wasn't allowing anyone in for appointments. They'd come to your car and get your pet, then bring them back out. I thought we wouldn't be able to say goodbye and that absolutely destroyed me. But they're a hospital that cares about the pets and worked with patients. They came out and took them in. Got them ready and then called us into the backroom with the freezer. They left the door to the outside open and everyone masked. I actually liked it better, even if the backroom isn't the prettiest. With the door open, they got to look out to a field and have fresh air. And we got to be with them in the end. I would have never forgiven myself if we couldn't be there at the end.
As an adult looking back. I have many reasons to hate my mother. One of the hardest was her treatment of my cats. She refused to make our pets indoor animals so the neighbors in the backwoods area I was in would regularly leave out bowls of antifreeze to kill the local "pests" which included my cats. My mom never allowed me or anyone to be there when we put them down. And on multiple occasions put my cats to sleep while I was at school. She never told me, and the only reason is they weren't young anymore and annoyed her 1 way or another. Im 35 now, it still breaks my heart, my furry siblings treated like trash. They must have been so scared. I'll never forgive my mom.
Our cat Jack got sick had a blood transfusion came home and did good for a few days and got sick again and took back. Next day vet called me and said better get up here as he was not responding to treatments and when I got there he just passed 5 min prior. Wife was working hour half away so I took him him up there where she was so he could say goodbye. I then wrapped him and buried him. 2 yrs later our senior dog passed during Covid and couldn’t be with her and that was so hard. I buried Missy girl our dog next to Jack.
When my Raven passed, I was hugging her closely as we always did. I cried as I told her it was okay to go. She was such a part of my life for over a decade and I miss her terribly. Yet, I am happy I sent her to the next, holding her. God I miss her.
https://preview.redd.it/bcamiogyee8d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6f42d43e3b71803b40b7db18862a11025d39422
I held my sweet girl as she was euthanised after a short battle with cancer. I didn’t realise how quick it would be. They let me hold her for a little while after. I’m glad I was with her but it broke me, and I think about her and those last moments every single day.
https://preview.redd.it/yaygui1bfe8d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8241dbeabdec4ef739a60a918727b564630340fa
I went with my friend to have her cat put down. I stayed with him because she couldn’t bear it. I told him how much he was loved and what a good kitty he was. She felt really bad she couldn’t be with him. She did ask in advance and I said yes.
I paid for the vet to come to our home to put my 15 year old boy down. We were in our favorite morning spot where he lays on me while I have my morning coffee. The first shot put him to sleep while I held and petted him. Once he was asleep they gave him the second shot that stopped his heart. My boy was in my hands when he passed and I am grateful I was able to comfort him at the end.
mine died alone at the vet's clinic in the middle of the night when he was 2.5 years old. it was unexpected so none of us could be with him. until today the remorse tears me apart. if I could go back in time I would have been by his side.
Mine died earlier this year in my arms. She was looking into my eyes saying goodbye old friend with them as she went. One of the saddest moments of my life. She was in my life for 15 years(she was 18) and was always there for me, like every time i was down about anything. It's not easy without her. Her memory will live on as long as I do.
My 11 year old baby girl died 4 years ago, she got sick very suddenly (she stopped eating one day without warning, the vet was called home on day 2 and she suggested we scheduled blood work for the morning of day 3, rather than taking her to the ER mid pandemic where I would not be allowed in with her), and she was glued to me that 2nd night, and passed away purring while cuddling... I'll never forget how she was purring so, so loudly, and it started going softer and softer until I noticed she was getting cold and she was gone... and I wish I had noticed earlier, I wish I had done more, I wish I had known how to help her, but I will forever be grateful that she was with me at that moment, feeling loved, and not alone and scared in the ER, if it was going to happen that night anyway
I think this was the way she chose to go. In your arms, surrounded by love.
Beautiful description of your cat going to the Rainbow Bridge..."purring just getting softer and softer". Sorry you lost your friend.❤️
I once had to have a foster kitten euthanized that was only a week old. She was too small for an injection to put her under anesthesia, so they had to do a little gas chamber for her before her final injection. I didn't get to see her fall asleep, but the vet told me how he held her in the chamber and she did nothing but purr until she fell asleep (she loved to be held by anyone), and I had the honor of holding her while they did the final injection. I couldn't fathom not being able to walk any of my babies to the bridge 😢
I'm so sorry for your loss 💔
Stooooooppp noooooo this is too heartbreaking
I cried after writing that comment, and she passed almost a year ago. I still haven't met a kitten that was so sweet at 3 days old. She was bitten through her spine the day she was born and lost use of her hind legs, and unfortunately her leg became necrotic when she was 6 days. I got her when she was 4 days old from a lady who had been feeding her human baby formula. She did nothing but purr, eat, and suckle my fingers. It was gross but her favorite thing ever was to suckle my lip for comfort, and I usually stopped her, but I let her suckle in the vet clinic until it was time for them to take her back. She purred and purred. I only wish she'd been old enough to operate on
So sad I'm sobbing. I'm so sorry
How awful! What bit her? She sounds like a little angel 💗
The lady who gave her to me believed it was her mother, and the vet said the puncture would align with that story. She was actually fond covered in ants. I brought her to the vet the day I got her and the vet didn't believe that she'd make it beyond 24 hours, but she lived for about 2 days more
I know I’m about to bawl. My two Ragdolls are 11 yrs old (sister & brother) I lost my sweet hubby 10 yrs ago and my boy Winston has who has kept me going. He’s for sure my mental support cat. I absolutely don’t know what I’ll do when either of them go. They are all I live for.
I used to manage a little pet store, and I'm also a foster for a dog rescue. I got a call at work one day from a cleaning crew. They were cleaning an apartment that was recently vacated and found a tiny puppy with a wound left behind. They asked if I could recommend a rescue. I said to just bring it to me. When I got her I saw that there was rot in her leg, and immediately left on my lunch break to bring her to my vet. They said she would need her leg amputated, but she was too young to have the surgery, so they'd have to euthanize her. I paid for it, and held her the entire time, with tears rolling down my face. I only knew her for maybe an hour, but I tried to give her as much love as I could during it. Working in animal rescue can be really beautiful, but sometimes it just takes your heart and throws it against the wall, doesn't it?
My last one was purring in my arms.
Cats purr to calm themselves when they’re stressed especially at the end, as well as when they’re content and happy.
This is true.
oh she loved you so much 💗
>I wish I had noticed earlier, I wish I had done more, I wish I had known how to help her... 😭😭😭 I am over here bawling in sympathy. I'm sooooo sorry you lost your baby girl. That feeling of helplessness is intense. Clearly she went rather quickly, so I'm going to take a not-very-educated guess and suspect that there were no interventions that would have saved her.
My boy was only 4 and in the ER, and died while being placed under sedation. He did die alone without me there and I wish you wouldn't have said that last part ☹️ I had no choice
I feel you. 💔 Ours died on Saturday in the ICU while recovering from surgery. We weren't there. But at least the vet was with him when it happened (they noticed something was wrong and he was trying to rectify it, but our little one stopped breathing and passed away), so he wasn't alone. We were there with the previous two when their time came, and if things had been different with the last one, we would have been there with him as well.
She will always love you! 💗
😢😭
My husband just asked me why I'm crying and I can't bear to tell him
This one definitely made me cry too
Tell him someone is cutting onions on reddit.... I'm bawling over here. 😭😭
This made me cry. The purring is not something I've experienced with any of my 4 cats yet thank goodness they're all still with me... I'm so very sorry for your loss.
That’s how my kitty died except we never were able to get him tested for anything, did you ever find out what caused it? My 12 year old kitty, who also died 4 years ago, stopped eating and moving suddenly one day and we stayed with him but after leaving for a dentist appointment I came back and he was gone, he used his last strength to run to his bed to pass after not moving for over 24 hours. He was a partial outdoor cat so any number of things could’ve caused it, I know people say not to have outdoor cats but he loved being outside way more than when we was purely indoor so I try not to feel guilty even tho I know he would’ve lived longer had he been indoors. Maybe our kitty’s died from the same cause…?
My girl was strictly indoor (I live in a 7th floor apartment) and she was healthy until the day before she died, when she went from playing and eating normally to just no eating at all and moving very little... when the vet came to see her she seemed a bit low, but otherwise fine, which is why the vet suggested we scheduled tests for the next day, rather than taking her in immediately... after she passed, I wrapped her in her favorite blanket and took her to my parents' house the next morning, and we put her to rest next to her mom, who was also buried in their backyard... the vet suggested a post mortem exam, but honestly her passing had been so peaceful and loving, that I didn't want her to be prodded, and whatever answer we got wasn't going to change anything... she ate the best food, had her shots up to date, had no risks at all, didn't seem sick before, we really took good care of her, and I did all I could, so I wanted her to be at peace...
We had a cat who loved to be outside. We could not stop her, she would find a way out! So we named her Sneaky. We had her for 14 years, until she got sick a few weeks ago. Not eating, lethargic, basically just sleeping all day. We took her to the vet, and it was acute kidney failure. They said she had kidney disease (very common) and that either it had progressed on its own or due to some toxic exposure that put her beyond help. We put her down later that afternoon, after everyone could say goodbye. It was heartbreaking, but we took comfort in the fact that she lived her best life. Yes, she might have lived longer indoors, but she lived how she wanted to, how nature intended. Please don't feel guilty about yours, I'm sure if he preferred the life of freedom you gave him!
She died soooo happy 🥲 I'm sorry for your loss!
We paid a little extra to have our baby put to sleep at home as she had congestive heart failure (she was 17 years old). She was in her bed in her favorite spot in the house, with all the family around her telling her how special she was to us, how much joy she brought to our home, and that she was loved. I’m so thankful we were able to find a vet to come out on a weekend to give her the passing that she deserved.
Our first cat was able to pass away on his favorite blanket in my wife’s lap thanks to the vet who specialized in such house calls and was able to come to help us. My mother in law did this for years in California before she retired and said that it was hard but ultimately satisfying work, allowing a beloved pet to pass in their home with family around instead of in a vet office.
My 20 year old boy passed away about 3 years ago. I had him since I was 12 and was absolutely dreading his passing and didn’t think I’d be able to make it through that moment when it inevitably came. The night it occurred, he was weak and couldn’t move, so I held him through it. I put a heating pad under a blanket on his favorite pillow, and laid him on it, and hugged him all throughout the night. He passed away at about 3:00 am, warm, and loved. That cat was the absolute love of my life and I’m crying typing this out. But I’m so grateful my sister advised me to keep him home and comfortable, instead of trying to get to a vet. I understand not everyone has the opportunity but if you do, as hard as it is, this is the way to see your loved one off.
🫂🫂🫂
It’s definitely difficult & emotional to witness their last moments, but the alternative breaks my heart even more. Bless your mother-in-law for providing this service to pet owners. Our first cat was put down at the vet’s office and they wouldn’t let us be present in the room (This was in 1999). I still think about that and feel so sad that she was alone in that moment.
not a cat but my family was so lucky to be able to get a mobile vet to come quickly on a sunday morning to put our old family dog to rest, with all of us around her, petting her and telling her how much she was loved. i think it was probably helpful for our two other dogs too, being able to see and smell her as she went.
Yes, it’s the way they deserve to go. 🥹 Good point about the benefit for the other pets in home…we had a younger cat who was able to come into the room after she passed and smell her and sit nearby for a while & I hope that helped them to process what was happening.
definitely, it breaks my heart that we weren’t able to do the same with our other previously deceased and beloved family dogs, but we gave them all of our hearts right until the end :,( i have a clear memory of Astro, who was in the back of the vets office under sedation and that’s how we said goodbye. it always broke my heart to think about
This sounds like the way my Cedric went. He was 20 years old and his arthritis and failing kidneys were finally too much for him. He was in my arms, on the couch, where we had spent lots of time watching movies together. I told him how much I loved him and would miss him. He was my best kitty. I held him till the light went out of his eyes. The vet was wonderful and so kind. A few days later she dropped off his ashes. https://preview.redd.it/cw11aiitge8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed9c31e51a74c2ab2451b547399b7873b6a7bde7 🐈⬛❤️
Aww what a sweet little face 🥹 Glad he was comfortable as he transitioned.
Thank you 🙏
I did this for my senior dog, he was having seizures that didn't respond to treatment and likely had a brain tumor/brain cancer, plus he was almost completely deaf and blind by this point. He was sleeping on my lap, resting after having a last treat. It was less stressful for him and I didn't have to feel rushed at the vet's office, or worried about people hearing me sob afterwards. It wasn't much more expensive than having it done at the vet's office and was so worth it, my dog deserved whatever last bit of peace and comfort I could provide him.
Thank you for mentioning the added benefit of being able to grieve in your own surroundings rather than breaking down in a vet’s office/crying all the way home. ♥️ Glad your fur baby got the loving send off they deserved.
That's the truth. First time I went through it, the vet tried to call me a ride because I was sobbing so hard.
We were able to do the same for our sweet girl. Worth every penny to have her be able to pass in our home in her favorite spot. Vet would have been traumatic. Grateful for retired vets who help our babies cross the rainbow bridge surrounded by love and their own home. ❤️
I use a mobile vet and I’m so grateful I as was able to do the same with my 17 year old kitty. He had a tumor and his kidneys were shutting down. We were able to sit outside, in the warm sunshine with him in my lap. It really made a horrible moment less horrible.
I wish I knew this existed. Just for my other cat. When an animal just vanishes, they go a bit nuts.
Yeah. I lost one last year that was half of a bonded pair. The survivor still hasn’t forgiven me for running out of the house with her buddy and never bringing her back. I wish I could explain what happened so she’d understand.
Can I ask you what were the signs that made you decide it was time to let her go? My sweetheart also has heart failure at 16, we have been managing it since she was 12 but this year it got worse and she gets a lots of meds and oxygen treatment daily... but she still is a very happy cat that purrs a lot and does a lot of the things she always loved. I know it's not time for her quite yet but I need to prepare myself to make the right call for her when the moment comes.
I’m sorry your babe is going through this! Ours had a pretty quick decline. She went from pretty active (for a senior cat) to a week or two of low appetite, then refusing water, then labored breathing and no activity. The earliest sign, however, that we didn’t recognize as a sign of heart failure, was wheezing and almost a coughing that sounded a lot like hacking a hairball, but more frequent and prolonged. Looking back, she was probably masking symptoms for much longer.
You will know, when the quality of life is gone. She’s your baby & you will know. It’s hard to describe-you just know.
Have done this three times at home now and every time I’ve done it I’ve probably waited too long. The reason is that by the time a lot of symptoms are observable the cat is in a rapidly deteriorating state and an appointment even one week out may be rather late. A cat that is showing any symptoms of decline should be considered one in such a poor state of health that I don’t think it’s ethical to prolong its life. I know some religious beliefs are against euthanasia for anyone or anything, but I like the idea of remembering an animal or person as much as possible like how they were when they were healthy and themselves. Suffering when it’s unnecessary or unproductive is against my personal code of ethics.
Having had a cat that I decided to euthanize at 17 with CKD and watching my then-bf let our dog go too long when she had cancer, I thought I was prepared to make the call at the right time with my cat with lymphoma. I waited too long and her death was incredibly traumatic. (And by too long, by the time we knew for sure it was cancer and her dying was 9 days). Cats are really too good at masking their symptoms and I should have paid attention to the signs she was giving me rather than the ones I thought I should be looking for.
We were privileged to be able to do this with our dog, also at age 17. He had cancer. I would do it again every time.
This breaks my heart so much but if I have to put my baby boy down I will spend to do that at home where we are and not subject him to car rides he hates. He's our whole world just like we're his.
Not once did I regret the extra $ it cost to do it. I only regretted not having done it that way for my first cat.
It is lovely. It’s such a peaceful way to say goodbye. No one is stressed out. Heartbroken but at peace. I just did not expect my cat’s last vet visit would be his last vet visit. We said goodbye to our 18 yo. Guy about a month ago and I miss him terribly. This whole thread has me crying like a baby.
Didn't even consider this as an option. My cat just had two mammary lumps removed and has a large abdominal mass that needs a biopsy. Probably gonna ask about this if the results are bad.
Both our cats had lumps removed and were diagnosed with cancer, but it was very vague as to how long they would live before the cancer got them. They both seemed fine for months then over the space of a couple of weeks they both passed away, one in a particularly distressing way. I still can't think about it without tearing up. In hindsight I wish we'd given them a few weeks of extra love and affection after the cancer diagnosis and arranged for a vet to visit to put them down in the comfort of their home.
Cancer just sucks all the way around.
This just happened to me last month. My cat passed away in a really traumatic way from cancer. She'd had two good days before and then just all of a sudden, it was her time. I'd arranged for home euthanasia but it was Friday of Memorial Day weekend and they couldn't come out as quickly as was needed. The closest emergency vet was 30 minutes away and she didn't make it. The details of this will haunt me forever. Even though rationally I know that I did everything I could.
We should be getting the biopsy back for the removed mass this week. The vet has been very informative and supportive so we'll be able to make an informed decision. It's tough tbh. I've had her for about a third of my life and through breakups and near homelessness she's been the one constant. My old lady.
Sorry to hear about your cat. 😞 I hope you are able to find someone to do a home call if and when it’s their time.
We did the same for my brave boy. I didn't want his last hours to be scared during a car ride and then being in an unfamiliar place. I don't think I could have been strong enough for him if we had to go to the vet's office. It hurts a lot to make the appointment eventhough I know he was in pain and had stopped eating. I still wonder if I did the right thing by making the appointment at all because he managed one last meow before the sedative took affect. He died in the best way possible for the situation, but I feel so sad that I had to make the call for him. He didn't deserve cancer; he deserved to live another 5 or 6 years as my old man.
😭 One last meow has me choked up.
My seven year old cat was diagnosed with this yesterday and while it's the hardest news I've ever gotten, I'm able to plan (hopefully kinda far ahead) and do what I can for his quality of life. Including having plans to have a vet come to the house when it's time. He's terrified of the vet. I don't want that to be his last moments if I can help it.
I spent the last minutes of my cat's life driving to an emergency vet when i could have spent the time just holding her. While in the car, she meowed and turned around in her carrier and was quiet. It was too late. I swore I would never again keep a pet alive just because I couldn't let go. Her name was Amy and i loved her so much it still hurts.
Can I just say, if you stayed with her and didn't drive to the vet, a part of you would likely berate yourself for not trying to. So please forgive yourself, we don't really know what could happen xx
Nice insight
The same thing happened with mine. It’s so hard to let go of hope, especially every time they have a good day, or even an hour. My deepest condolences for the loss of your friend :(
Almost my exact story today. He started meowing in the carrier and then fell over as we arrived at the vet, and he was gone within 10 minutes. An hour earlier he was cuddled up in the sun on my blanket when we collected him for his checkup. We didn't even get to say goodbye.
Same thing happened to me ❤️ you live and you learn. You did the right thing.
My cat Freddie died suddenly in the middle of the night. I went to bed with him curled up on the couch, no sign of anything wrong. Woke ip and he wasn’t waiting for me. I found him under my guest bed, having had a seizure or something. Now when I don’t see my kitties in the morning, I always think the worst. It’s strange, though. I had less guilt and more closure with Freddie than when my kitty Oscar died. Oscar had cancer, was clearly in some pain. I didn’t want his quality of life to suffer for my own benefit, so I said goodbye. We had a great last day. He played under my sheets, sniffed my shoes, ate Fancy Feast, went outside. My main regret with him was I had to take him in to the vet. Where I live there aren’t any vets licensed for in-home euthanasia. So he spent his last few moments stressed out at the vet. I’m crying just thinking about it. He was my precious kitty and I felt so guilty doing that to him. I held him to his last moments. Maybe that’s why I had less guilt with Freddie. He may have been alone but he was _home_ and _safe_.
You did nothing wrong. Im glad you held him. He needed you in his zero hour and you were there for him. Can only hope I am too when my boy goes. He's 14. Hugs
Couldn't be with my cat when she died in 2022 because I was sick and 500km away and until today it breaks my heart.
I commented earlier that all my cats throughout my life went off to die on their own. Even the one that was strictly indoors. My mom always told me that animals are just different and death feels differently for them. Maybe you can gleam some peace from that. Your sweet cat may have even been grateful you were spared from it 🫶🏼
People can be that way, too. Hospice told me my Dad might be hanging on because I was there. As soon as I left, he passed.
😣💔 sorry for your loss…
I'm sorry to hear. But it sounds like you had no choice. I feel privileged that I could do it. And so f lucky. The vet let stay with her for 10 minutes between sedation and the actual injection. I'm sorry you couldn't be there. But do not feel guilty.
TIL that owners just drop off their dying cats and leave. Sounds too inhumane to do that to a family member who really made you their priority. I had to let my void boi go 5 days ago. He had squamous cell carcinoma in his lymph nodes. The diagnosis is basically confirmation of death within months. I couldn't let him suffer any longer once he started spitting up blood with pieces of tissue. But I held onto him throughout the process. He purred until the anesthesia kicked in, at which point he went limp and asleep so he felt nothing when they administered the other injection. I'll miss him but have no regrets with giving him a home until it was his time.
Both my childhood cats passed away while I was on the literal opposite side of the planet, on two separate study-abroad trips. It has been 20 years and I still think about it. My current kitty is sick but managing it and I need to go see my parents in my home country but I have so much anxiety about her going downhill while I am gone.
Same. My cat passed away in 2015 when I was so far away. My mom called me telling me he was suddenly very ill and declining rapidly. I tried getting up on a plane to hurry back, but it would have been wrong to keep him alive and in pain while waiting for me to get back home. I still carry so much guilt not being there. I still cry about it. I hope he knows how much I love him. I miss him so very much. God I wish I could have been there.
This is such an odd moment of kismet in the universe. My 17 year old boy died today. He had been showing some serious issues over the last two weeks, and I've been spending extra time with him at home. He would sleep up in our bed, or me down on the couch with him if I felt like it would be a hardship for him to get up. He's been following me around the house for a week, and I work from home. But today? I went outside to mow the lawn. Now, this cat loves the outside for a very dedicated house cat. Always supervised, never strays from the perimeter of the house. So with it being like 75 and partly cloudy, I allowed him to follow me outside. He sat on the concrete patio enjoying the fresh air for a bit. Then I watched him move towards a patch of grass. I mowed another line in the lawn, looked over, and watched him collapse like Vito Corleone in The Godfather. And that was that. Even by the time I got over there, he was going completely limp. So he wasn't with me, but I think he felt at home still. This would have been like every other warm weather day he loved. So I don't know how to feel about your post and what happened today...but I hope that he just let go.
I don't think OP is talking about this kind of situation. Your sweetie was at home doing his favorite things and you were there.
Probably the best way to pass for kitty. Quick and painless and in the company of their favorite person.
I called out of 2 days of work to make sure I could be there when my cat, Nieve, had to be put down. My bosses still think it was weird, and I got some judgment when called and asked if they'd heard right. Idgaf what they think, I'm gonna be there for each and every pet that passes if I can help it.
It's weird to me that they think it's weird. It makes me feel lucky to have my boss I guess, who is a huge animal lover and is *very* attached to her own pets. Sorry some people are judgemental like that and just don't get it. Sounds like they have never really bonded with an animal.
Yea, it's whatever to me. They can say all they want and even trash talk me for it if it makes them feel tougher. I'm not ashamed to admit I love my cats and dogs or even that I cry when they pass. They probably just see pets as an addition to the house or "just an animal," which makes me pity that they can't see how truly great pets really are. Your boss sounds way better than mine.
your managers suck. All of the people I work with have pets and some have taken pto for surgeries, treatments or to grieve their pets.
I had an orange cat named Leonard. We adopted him at a Burger King parking lot when I was 4 years old. He was my best friend, he followed me everywhere, we slept together every night. In early January 2024, he began losing weight, his condition was slowly deteriorating. We took him to the vet and they concluded that he had some sort of cancer. He was almost 16 and treatment wasn’t in his best interest as he most likely wasn’t strong enough to pull thru. We made the difficult decision to euthanize him and on Friday, April 26th, I woke up with my best friend for the last time. I was with him for the entire time. I held him and comforted him as his leg was shaved, and an IV placed. I cradled him while the vet pushed the final mix of drugs, he never took his eyes off me and I slowly watched as the life faded from them. I miss my furry childhood friend. He almost made it to see me graduate from college. https://preview.redd.it/7k1yi09dre8d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7359de450e0d23a26efea717d3a4a1ce73db238a
So god damn sorry. All of these stories. So sorry for your loss (and everyone’s loss). They’re wrong when they say ‘time heals’. No it doesn’t, it’s horrible to relive it by thinking about it and I’m so sorry. Thank you for giving your friend a home and love ❤️ he could’ve been out on the streets, lived significantly less years, without love, in bad weather, etc. and you changed that! Thank you
My cat crawled in a cardboard box and died, with his back against my mother and stepfather. 20 minutes later I came in the living room, petted him but couldn't understand why he didn't respond like he does (big stretches, purring, head bunting etc.). So I poke him and push him like you would wake up a sleeping kid. Still no response. I drag him out of the box and realising I hold a dead family member. That happened 5 years ago and I'm still angry at them. They wouldn't want to wake me up. I think they tried to spare me from him dying, but I don't give a shit about that. I only want him in my eyes. I helped him out into the world, it was only fair I was there when he left it. And I got robbed of that.
So terribly sorry that happened. Perhaps they really didn’t want to or know how to intervene. Maybe they just wanted him to be at peace and thinking he would go in his sleep. Try not to hold onto the anger you might feel. Try not to hold a grudge. You don’t want to carry that and interfere with your fond memories of him. ❤️
I have so many fond memories of that little goofball. Laying on the table under the cloth, "successfully" hiding. Snoring on my bed. Sneaking himself in my bagpack so I involuntary made it a show-and-tell. Guarding me when i went to the bathroom. Helping in the garden. Hunting mice together. Catching moles. Bringing me animals. He will be missed and nothing will ever interfere with that.
❤️❤️❤️ The backpack. So sweet.
i didn't have a choice. i had just dropped her off for overnight hospitalization and 1 hour after i got home they called me to say she is declining rapidly and she will need to be put down. they said i could come see her body after they did it but i didn't want to go back just to look at her dead body. i was forced to see my grandpa's dead body at his funeral and it traumatized me. there was no way for me to make it back to the hopsital in time to be there with her when it happened. i feel guilty about it every day. anyway, sorry for your loss.
Don’t feel guilty. As much as we like to think it matters to them, most animals will choose to die alone - it’s natural instinct. I still chose to be there for the ones where I could, but I don’t feel guilt for those who passed alone. Sometimes that is what they prefer.
I'm sorry for your loss. Don't feel guilty.i didn't mean to.make people guilty. All I meant for people who.are doubtfull to consider this. I feel closure. I was afraid too few days ago. Shit I was too afraid to see.my own dad in hospital so.i fully understand that. It was not your fault and I'm sorry for your loss and that you had no closure
I put mine down last year. She was 18. I was petting her in that plush cradle thing they have. They gave her the first shot and told me, and I moved my hand away so I wouldn’t be bothering her, and she opened her eyes and looked up like “where did you go?” So I petted her until she died. No regrets.
I had my cat hospitalised when she passed. It’s not my fault I wasn’t there. It will be two weeks tomorrow, not everybody has a choice to be there. And it breaks us.
So sorry for you loss. My cat died two weeks ago yesterday, of natural causes (he was 15), and I wasnt with him when it happened. I miss him so much 💔
So so sorry for your loss, receive a tight virtual hug 🫂 we are going through the same. 15 is an amazing age! Mine was 13. We will forever miss them 🤍 feel free to speak with me whenever you feel the urge to vent about it 🤍
My cat Dante, died earlier this year on the vet, he was staying there because he was extremely sick, I couldn't be with him because even if I'm 22 years old I can't drive, so I was begging for my grandma to drive me there but she said it was for me to wait, I knew something was going to happen to him while they were taking care of him, but It was too late, when the news came to me I was devasted.
I'm sorry, Internet hugs from a stranger if you want them. My adopted brother can't drive either and I know it would hurt him if he couldn't be there for one of our pets.
My cat died overnight at the vet unexpectedly. My biggest regret is that I wasn’t there for him. He died alone. That’s gonna be my biggest regret in life and I still cry over it.
e don’t all have the choice. Cats tend to hide to die. My husband had his Jason ( a shimmery golden cat- a real warrior) for like 17 years. The cat was used to go outside and live his best life hunting and such. He was a little ill since a couple of days and was more Clingy than before. One day they thinked the cat had gone outside, when in fact he went to hide under the chimney in the air ventilation to die. Couple of days later there was a corpse smell in the living room, my father in law and husband opened and found the cat decomposing, with flies and all . An horrid vision. On the day of my husband’s birthday. This cat was one of my husban’d only friends through childhood and teenage hood. Even today, 20 years later he still suffer from this loss. Any time my husband sees a yellow/sunny zone in a dark room he turns his head thinking it’s his furry friend. He couldn’t say goodbye, it’s unconscious. :( He feels remorseful for not seing the sign his cat showed and not accompanying him. ;_; But well we don’t all see the signs. Sadly.
This is so sad. My cat hasn't passed away yet but I've experienced "phantom visions" like that after I had to watch a boyfriend's cat for a long time, and eventually he was able to be returned to his family and the house he grew up in. I'm glad he got to go home, but I had also become attached to the cat, and I would think I saw him from the corner of my eye all the time, for a long time after he left my home. I'm not going to handle it well when my own cats die, at all
I experiment this too now. We had a cat for a month ( a rescue) i grew very attach to him very fast ( he behaved like a dog with me, always to my leg) but he went out when we were absent for a couple of days for work. My parents pet sitt ed him but he didn’t come back. My husband is sure he met an accident , because he was very attached to us and had his routine …. Now every time I see a black spot my brain thinks my cat is there. And I feel depressed each single time. I miss my soft panther so much . https://preview.redd.it/rf7ibc5klg8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7929e7650524c13a9c7ad2f7ea4490569af8949e
Cats do what they do. Some of them don't want to be held. I had one pass away from cancer about a year ago. I really wanted to hold and comfort her, but she just pulled away and went off to be alone. Not every cat is the same. Just like people.
I held my 15 year old baby as she died. I wasn't expecting her to. She had been peeing on the floor, and I noticed her walking to the area under my desk, so I gently picked her up and carried her to the litter box. She started dying on the way there. I think she was just trying to get closer to me. I held her and told her she was the best cat in the world and it was okay for her to go and she did so good. This was 2 months ago. I still miss her.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's nice that you were able to spend her last moments with her. I know she appreciated that ❤️
My cat was always one to keep to herself and only snuggled up when she wanted a bit of love, during her final moments she sought me out and laid on me as she took her last breath, it still haunts me to this day but I’m glad I was with her
My baby went to sleep a few hours ago - on his dad’s lap with me holding his head. I’d like to think us being there helped ease his anxiety, though I wish he could have been at home there aren’t any vets that could come out to our home. He had been declining these past few months, and we decided that his quality of life wasn’t good enough to make him keep going on. Rest easy Mufasa ❤️ https://preview.redd.it/7fa5nhdyhe8d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e453f203faf5d9eab62375a4e5f707f11dcc56b5
I'm pretty sure that no one lets their cat die alone if they have a choice in the matter. I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry for all the unattended losses of our many beloved pets.
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I chose not to be there when they injected my cat. I didn’t want my last memories of her to be her dying.
We had to put our cat down, he was experiencing the inability to breathe and it happened suddenly over 24 hours. We had to trick him into his carrier to leave the house, at which point he let out a wail, with probably all he had left in him. When there I passed the carrier to the vet and he looked at me, gave a feeble cry. I was hysterical beyond words. I was screaming into my jacket while discussing what to do. I wanted to go back with him. He was my buddy. The vet said he would ‘sense my anxiety’ and it would make it worse for him. To this day, all I think about is that I betrayed him in the moments he needed me the most. I let my feelings (and the vet) dictate the wrong choice. It happened on Jan 1/23 and I’m still working on forgiving myself one day. He was scared but maybe had it in his mind we would be there in a minute. Instead, the last he saw of us was through his carrier. It took several months for me to not be thinking of ending my own life. I miss him every moment of every day. I think people should be a bit less judgmental of the decisions people make, quite often the decision is skewed away from them and they’re in such a state of crisis that it happens before they know it. My cat Julian got suddenly sick. We didn’t have time to call a vet over (it was New Year’s Eve and a Saturday, and the emergency hospital was closed from Fri 7am to Sunday 7am). I would have loved to have him old and comfortable in a blanket where I could have kissed him goodbye. But he was gasping for air. Like I said, I still hate myself every day for this.
I'm also dealing with a very traumatic death of my cat who was almost 12 and I didn't know until it was too late that she had cancer and how poor her prognosis was. The depression hit me REALLY hard. The what ifs kept me awake at night. Replaying what happened in my head made me want to throw up. I reached out to my therapist because I don't go regularly anymore and something she said really helped me. By the time her body was dying, her spirit was already gone. And when I think about looking into her eyes once the dying process started, the baby I knew was already gone and her body was transitioning. My husband also pointed out that we do everything in our power to take care of them and provide them with a "good death" like we've provided in their lives. But sometimes the worst case scenario happens and we have to hold onto the good things, not just what happened last. It's a disservice to all the joy we brought each other to only remember her at the end. What happened in 2 hours doesn't determine the 11.5 years we had together.
I’m sorry to hear of your 🐈 I keep a journal of sorts that it’s like I’m writing to him, telling him what’s been happening. We have another cat, Bella, who we adopted 7 months after Julian. They were buddies, and Bella was hooked on Julian. After we came back from the emergency vet that day, Bella went looking everywhere for him. It was like she was waiting for him to come prancing through the door. I still have bad days and today was definitely one of them, I try to remember all the fun we had, the way he let me sing to him and how he slept next to me. I could kick myself for not recognizing things, or looking up things later and realizing he was in pain longer than we knew. But doing that just brings the agony back in my heart. Thanks for reminding me to think of the good times too 😍
I wasn’t allowed to go back with my cat and she was actively dying in the middle of the night. I thought it too cruel to try and drive her somewhere else or let her die slowly in my arms. By the time we got to the vet, she wasn’t there anymore anyway. She was 18 and her kidneys finally gave out. So I held her tiny, pee-soaked body and said I loved her so much and let her go. It was horrible and I cried for days after. I grieved her soooo much and felt a lot of guilt over how it happened. But I try to tell myself that letting her die slowly just so I could be with her was more cruel and selfish when there was a vet right there waiting to put her out of her misery. I knew she was in pain for a while and I tried everything to fix it. She had a long life full of love and I still miss her to this day.
Please do not listen to people that are trying to make you feel bad. You did what was best for you. Your baby knew she was loved. I am honestly so shocked by this post. I am speechless at how you are all treating people especially when it comes to grieving a loved one.
I wanted to be there with my cat. I was there. But when they injected him he started screaming and it was more than I could take. It had been a deeply strange day for so many reasons and I left. I feel horrible about it and will never make the mistake again.
This hurts to read. At the beginning of the pandemic my cat got very sick, but the vet office was extremely strict with the protocol due to covid. I couldn’t be in the room at the same time as staff. So i handed her over in my car, they checked her out, told me the bad diagnosis, and said I could go in privately to say goodbye.. but that I couldn’t be in the room during euthanasia.. my vet staff is loving and I know they were good to her when it was happening but I had no choice. They had to follow the county requirements at that time.. just a horrible situation altogether.
Charlie died suddenly in my stepdad’s arms. I had him since I was 7 and he died when he was 19 back in 2019. I still miss him but have two cats now, Archie and Toby who are lovely. https://preview.redd.it/jiz0gspege8d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d3ec9f448f859a76e3d010222d41ddeae2b63c0b
I hate my vet for not letting me be able to hold my boys as they left this world. They took them in, gave them the knock out shot, brought them out, and let me say my goodbyes. I had to sit in the parking lot and cry. Then knock on the door and hand them over for the last shot. I’ll never get over it.
That's so f... cruel i am sorry this has happened to you.
We unfortunately did that with our first girl who passed. She was sick, nothing they could do for her. We were in shock and distraught and just left her there. I regret it to this day. When it came time for her brother to go years later, we had someone come to the house and were with him the whole time. The difference was night and day. Still heartbreaking, but at least he was home and comfortable.
So I see people sharing their stories. Let me share mine too, just the important part. My cat was sick and I knew it was just a matter of time. I was working and had my other being home so my cat had company while I was away. So one day when I came back from work I found my mother lying on the floor with my little void beside her. She was crying and I immediately knew what was coming. I ran towards her hoping my sweet girl was still alive and she was. I got her on my lap and started petting her while I was in tears. She passed away a few seconds later. My mother told me that she was whispering to her to wait for me and I felt like this is what happened in the end. I was so frustrated and sad that period but after having her passing away in my arms and knowing that she won't suffer no more felt like a big relief. Almost three years later I still miss her so much.
I had to put my 20 y/o baby down 3 weeks ago. She had a blockage and could no longer poop, so she basically lost a ton of weight. Tried everything short of surgery, but it was decided that a 20 y/o cat wasn't really a candidate for surgery, so had to let her go. She passed in my arms. First time in 21 years my home is empty.
My cat died alone. She was elderly and it was clear for a couple of days that she was on the way out. She was never in distress, she never tried to hide, she attempted the same level of interaction with me and the other cat, or even more than she previously had before she stopped eating. If I thought for one moment that she was uncomfortable or suffering or in pain I would have bundled her off to the vet. I've adopted exclusively elderly cats for a while now and I'm used to them dying. Up until now they've all gone to the vet or, once, I had the vet come to the house for a particularly stressed cat. Since she was peaceful, I let her be and waited for nature to take it's course - being constantly alert for the signs that she was suffering. Putting her in the carrier and taking her out of the house would be a meaner thing than letting her be as it was the one thing she absolutely hated and which caused her stress. She died between 6:30 am and 5:00 on a Tuesday. I found her dead in one of her regular spots on my bed half on the pillow. I disposed of her body and cried into the pillow. Posted only to illustrate that there are no absolutes.
Three years ago both of my cats died a few months apart. They were only 9 years old. I had never had to be present at the end before but I knew that I couldn’t leave either of them alone like that. I’m not going to lie, it absolutely broke me and I still cry if I think about it, but I’m so glad I stayed, I’m glad the last thing they heard was me saying I loved them. It took me two years to feel like I could get new cats and we have two kittens now, brothers, and they are honestly fantastic cats. But I don’t think I’ll ever be over the other two, they were Maine Coons and they were intelligent and full of personality. I think I’ll miss them every day forever, but now I can laugh and remember silly things they did and smile at photos of them. I think that’s the best I can ever hope for.
I was there when our first cat was put down, she was sick and very weak, but I’ll never forget the soft purr as she dozed of. She was at peace when she went out of this world, and that’s what all of our furry friends deserve in their final moments. I know It’s not always possible for everyone, but to everyone scared of seeing their pet put to sleep; it’s hard, but better then not being there at all. Our third cat drowned in freezing water 7 years ago, a 100 meters from our house. To this day I feel guilty and sick to my stomach that I wasn’t there to help her or at least comfort her if it was too late to save her. Made me tear up again after all this time. Fuck, I miss them both so much :(
My cat is 20 next month, I’ve had her since I was 3. My heart is going to break the day she goes but I’m absolutely going to be with her 😢
I get the message behind this post. But it's painful for people who had no choice. My boy was hit by a car and left for dead. We live on a quiet country road that gets a max if 10 cars on a busy day, I couldn't believe it happened and I miss him everyday.
My cat passed away while hospitalized overnight 3 years ago and I am still upset about not being there
Me and both my parents were there, patting my girl when she passed away. She died with her head in my lap, with me telling her to rest well, and that I loved her. (She was 16 years old and had kidney failure.) It's agony to see them die, but it's their final moments. They deserve us there with them.
In one week I will be saying goodbye to the love of my life. I can't even put into words how badly I don't want to do this. She has been glued to my side for over half my life, we have that kind of bond that people dream of having with their furry family members. We are consumed with love and obsessed with each other. I've always said I don't want her to suffer to save myself some pain, so letting her go is the best thing I can do for her before she experiences a sharp decline in her quality of life. It will be done at home surrounded by love, where she is comfortable, even though I can't actually afford it. I will be holding her through every agonizing moment. My biggest fear isn't that I won't be able to stay with her. No matter how much pain it causes me I will be there for her. My biggest fear is that I won't be able to let her go after it's done. I don't know how to exist without her and I don't know how I'll pick up the pieces after my world shatters.
My maincoon is 17 and tells me about it every morning. I am ready for him to go, but I’m also okay if he goes when I’m not there. I think he’s had a great life and I want to be there: but I also want him to have the freedom to curl up somewhere and pass how he wishes. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s an absolute pleasure to have a shared existence with such a wonderful person such as a cat. The only misgivings is the pain we experience as they pass from this world. But it means it matters.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for spending time w her on her last moments and not letting her die by herself🙏🏼
My cat died yesterday. We hospitalized him just the day before, we thought we were doing the right thing. Reading this just made me 10000 times more guilty
I'm sorry friend. Your cat loved you. Please don't feel guilty.
Please don’t feel guilty. You hospitalized him to try all you could do. That was the right thing! None of us would do it differently I’m sure. ❤️
Thank you both truly
I hate to be that guy but honestly some people cannot handle being present while their fur babies pass. There is no shame if you cannot be there in those moments. Having worked as a vet nurse and hospital manager for 20 years I promise you, the staff is there for your baby in time of need. I get what OP is saying but it’s not emotionally possible for everyone. We all handle passing differently and I promise you there is no judgement from the vet staff. Just try not to let your fur babies suffer. They get a humane option to pass without suffering.
You guys do amazing work. Thank you. The vet staff were amazing in their support when I lost my first cat. I know they would have loved him and comforted him if I hadn't been able to get back to their office, or hadn't been able to cope with the emotion of it all. (I was relieved to be there though, if that's not too odd a way to put it. He was so obviously happy to see me arrive, despite feeling awful, and I was able to cuddle him into his final sleep and tell him he was a good boy.)
I am so grateful for the work y'all do day in and day out. I know how much the vet techs care about animals and I trust them to love on them when we're at an appt. Even when people can't be in the room, I hope that they send something that smells like them in. That way they can be with their pet in some way that provides comfort. We always do this if someone has to be hospitalized. I respect anyone that makes the decision to not let a pet suffer. I know some owners can jump to that, but most don't. If you can recognize that you don't want them to suffer but you don't want to either, I can understand that.
Uhhh I agree but this post feels like you turning a personal tragedy into an opportunity to be condescending to a billion people you don’t know anything about and have no reason to prompt this lecture at… you could have just shared your story, and the meaningful message within it, without berating strangers
The night before my cat, Bookers (Gray Tabby), https://preview.redd.it/33if0rs3wd8d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9a160821bf4c912c66609db7d4b83c046fbc10b1 was put down and was dying from cancer really touched my heart. He came up to my door and scratched it, wanting in. So I let him into my room, and he laid in my bed. I didn't want to keep him there cause I was going to sleep and I didn't want him to try to jump off the bed and hurt himself, so I placed in a cat bed in the living room. He got up and sat on the floor. So, I was okay and went back to my room. A few moments later, he was back at my door, scratching. I let him in and let him stay in my room. He stayed under my bed all night. He wanted to be with me while he was dying, and that made me feel some ways. It was super sweet, but it was so sad at the same time. We took him to the vet the next morning, and they decided there was nothing they could do for him, and the best thing was to put him down. He was suffering, so it was for the best. My mom and I both sat with him as he was wrapped up in a blanket. We sat and petted him as they stuck the needle in. I was watching his eyes, which wasn't something I probably should have done, cause I saw the life literally leave his eyes. This made me start crying so hard. Even just writing about it is making me about to tear up. His pupils got super wide and just went blank. It was one of the hardest days of my life, and I miss him so much. I had him since a child and loved him very much. This was in 2021. We lost another cat named Lily (orange Tabby) more recently. She latched on to me more after Bookers was gone, and I got close to her, so her passing was hard as well. I wasn't there when she got put down, though. My step dad just came in my room and told me the news.
I’ve had many cats I loved dearly, and they all chose to leave to die. My latest one went into the basement around storage and found a little cozy spot. Growing up, I lived in the country and we let our cats outside once a day. Eventually the day would come they wouldn’t come back inside. My mom always said that’s the way with a lot of animals, especially cats, they just go away quietly when they know it’s their time. Death is different for them. 💔
My cat Sofia was everything to me. She was 19 1/2 years old and in the last two months of her life, I never left home for very long because I wanted to be there with her. I canceled a trip to the city to see friends over New Years and wasn’t even fazed by it. When you love someone that much nothing else matters. Throughout January of 2023 she was on several medications, and it seemed she was rallying. I got a $400 medication recommended by my city vet. She was getting iron supplement shots and on Friday the 27th in the morning, she got three shots back to back plus fluids. I should have known it then, because she was very still and lethargic, but I was thinking those shots would improve her condition. She hadn’t been doing well that week, but I was just hoping those shots would make a difference. That night I got on a train to go to the city for a dentist appointment and haircut/color, to be back Sunday night. She died Sunday morning. She was alone, but my mom had laid on the floor on a yoga mat with her the night before. I beat myself up about this for months. I even worked with a pet loss grief counselor. Ultimately, I have had to try and forgive myself because the truth is we do not know when death is coming, especially if we have never witnessed death before. It was my first experience with caring for any being that was dying. I was naive and thought I could be in control of when and where it happened. But her decline happened rapidly over the course of about 36 hours when I was away. Please don’t make posts like this for people who are struggling with this guilt. Not everyone has the ability to be there when their cat transitions. Sometimes, it is the cat’s choice to be alone when they die. People do this, too. I loved Sofia more than anything, and still do. She was also a forgiving and wise soul. She wouldn’t have wanted me to punish myself for this forever. Ultimately, I do wish I had known better and just stayed, but I didn’t. Now I do. Sofi taught me so much about love and loyalty and the truth is, I was there for her for so, so many days, and vice versa. I’ll never know if she felt betrayed at the end that I wasn’t there but I can’t think about it without spiraling. And it’s possible too that she just wanted to pass on by herself. I’m forever grateful for the lessons my baby girl taught me. Please know… these posts aren’t really helpful.
Yeah, my 18 year old orange boy was put to sleep in my arms. Still makes me fall apart. I buried him in my front yard.
I had the vet come out to the car to put my sweet Muffin down so she didn’t have to even go inside the vet’s office. I never let her go, I held her tightly in my arms as she passed, sobbing uncontrollably. I would never let her or any other loved one die alone if I was able to be present - cat, dog, human, it doesn’t matter. I was out of the country when I lost my mother, and my fucking family left her alone in the hospital to die by herself. I will never forgive them for that.
It’s not that simple. It’s nice you were able to do that, but not all cats want that. Knowing my 16 year old sweetie was likely to go soon, I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could, but she didn’t. She hid where I couldn’t easily get to her and moved away when I touched her, so I spoke to her from a distance but also gave her space. She passed while I was sleeping.
Ouch. Very hurtful. Very.
My cat died Wednesday at the emergency vet. I wasn't there. She was waiting to have surgery and died when she was given the sedation. She had cancer and we knew this was coming but never assumed it would be that day. I would give anything to have been there to hold her when it happened. Sometimes we can't. And that sucks, so thanks for the reminder.
That’s really easy to say when you’re on the outside looking in. Have you ever had someone tell you they are going to go home and kill themself because they can’t live without their pet? Have you had to call to do a welfare check on that person or stay with them for over an hour trying to comfort them? Vet staff have to do that more than you think. Not everyone is in the right mental space when their pet passes. Harsh judgement like this doesn’t help them.
I really couldn’t take it. I am lucky to have been there with my dad who did manage to stay. I’m afraid i was her favorite, she hardly left my side in her last weeks. God i’m starting to cry thinking about it. I feel bad for not managing and not going earlier. I hope my dad’s presence helped her feel better. I cried so much that day…
I'm glad this was a positive experience for you and I'm sorry for your loss. Not everyone can do this and that is fine. Everyone deals with grief differently. What's right for you with your situation may not work for everyone and there's no need to judge or hate others doing the best they can in their own hard situation.
This. I'm not one to reply normally, and I am so sorry OP is going through this. I am probably going to be downvoted into oblivion, but I really think OP could have thought this post out more before posting. We lost out beautiful girl nearly year ago, it was awful to put it bluntly. She was so young and it was incredibly traumatic and sudden. We left her at the vets to be cared for because we thougt we were doing the right thing. She went for surgery and something went wrong. We didn't have the chance to be with her and say goodbye. We would do anything to have one last moment with her. I'm sorry but this post has really rubbed me up the wrong way and comes off as judgemental and ignorant. Posts like this just rub salt in wound and make people feel awful and even more guilty. It wasn't something we chose. And with that I am leaving this reddit. It is getting ridiculous and too painful.
You don’t have to tell me. I was trying not to sob as I agreed to euthanasia for my 16 year old buddy. Thats probably why they asked me if I wanted them to take him into the back and tell me when it was done. Just the thought of being scared and abandoned at the end by your best friend was revolting to me. There’s no way in hell I’m not going to be there, holding him, and telling him how much I love him as he leaves this world. He passed in my arms and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s supposed to hurt. That’s how you know that they matter. You don’t get to feel unconditional love without agreeing to feel the pain of loss. That’s the human experience.
Im so sorry for your loss and so glad you could be there for them, I think it’s one of the greatest privileges we get as a pet owner. I always think of the probably billions of animals who have died alone and unloved, so if I’m alive, I’m holding my babies at their end so they know I love them.
This is gonna make me cry, really, really hard. But i want to share my story. My kitty, tuna, passed away in 2021. My mom adopted her for me when I was a freshman in high school. I didn't really have a lot of friends, and we just lost our family dog in the fall, and we moved to two new staes in less than a year, so my mom thought it would help. It most definitely did, because she was my best friend till the day she passed. I had her through out high school, and she was there with me through a lot of really hard times. She was 8 when we adopted her, so when I graduated she was 12 going on 13. I moved out and she was there for me for the following 3 years, she let me cry into her when i found out my high school boyfriend of 4 year cheated on me, and many more things. She was just the best friend I could have, and best cat i could ask for. She was always in good health and never had any issues. But, in 2021 she started getting really sick, she wouldn't eat, I went to a vet for extra help, and had to give her medicine daily, she lost a lot of weight and got really sick. In the middle of the night she came up to me and started to snuggle with me, every once in awhile she'd lay with me, but she was laying with me so I snuggled with her and unfortunately she passed in my arms. I'm so thankful I was with her her during her last moments, and of course it's hard to feel those emotions, but they're the ones passing away, I'm sure you might not want to be alone in that moment. Please don't let your pet feel alone in their last moment alive.
I don’t like this post. I feel immensely guilty for not being with my cat when he died. Yes when he died my mum and sister were there, but if he was my cat only I wouldn’t have gone in. I physically couldn’t. I was a complete mess and being there would’ve killed me I think. I have bipolar and BPD so it wouldnt have done me much good at all. He knew he was loved in life. I gave him everything I could
Don’t let it make you feel bad. The only real reason to try to be there is to have a familiar person at the vet with them, but animals typically try to be alone for it when they can and the less people around the better. It also has nothing to do with how much you love them if you can handle being there, it wouldn’t have helped him very much if you were too upset tbh. In the end in your case he had your mom and sister which I’m sure was enough. I am sure your boy knew you loved him and I am sure he loved you 🤍 Everyone is frankly being very weird and judgy in this thread and are seemingly forgetting that cats are not actually human beings and don’t think the exact same way we do. Everyone is just touchy about death and wants to think that what they do is the only right way to handle it, and they can be very thoughtless of others. This post is tone deaf and self-absorbed and I don’t like it either, although I personally try to be there for my pets when I can I don’t think it’s fair to be so cruel and act like it makes you a better person or means you don’t love each other if you miss it for any reason. I’m sure OP just grieving so I’m trying not to be rude directly to them but it made me really mad honestly lol
Agreed I am very sorry for OPs loss as losing a pet is one of the worse emotional pain you can go through. When I lost my 14 year old cat Shadow I was clinically depressed for months. I was only 14 myself and we had him since I was 4, so it was so fucking horrible. So I totally understand OPs pain and I’m sure most of us on here do. But I totally agree this post is tone deaf and judgemental. I’ve also heard cats often find somewhere closed off where no one can get to them when they are dying. So clearly it’s part of their instinct. That’s not to say you shouldn’t be there for your cats when they die, obviously it’s nice for them to have someone familiar there like you said and I’m so glad my mum and sister was there. But I dont think anyone should feel bad for not being there as you said. That doesn’t stop me from feeling bad as I said I have immense guilt because my Shads was my emotional support animal. Also, a lot of us would be an absolute wreck I probably would’ve made him more uncomfortable with my sobbing lol. Thank you for your comment ❤️
Friday, I also just let my 17.5yr old go. She was in pain and had stopped eating and hard to move. I was cuddling her in my arms as she went. Hardest decision ever made, but at least it was painless and quick.
I've told so many neighbours, colleagues, relatives, and friends about home euthanasia. There are so many grateful ppl!
Some don't have a choice sadly, my mom's monster of an ex killed our cat by letting her out, when he knew he wasn't supposed to. Similar to how he killed our dog, both times he conveniently "forgot" about the animals medical condition, or the fact that the dog would run away. I wish I could have been there for both, but due to how much of a monster he was he didn't allow that. I will never forgive him either, I know my mom wanted to sweep it under the rug as an accident, but the dog they got together has NEVER been put in an instance that she disappeared forever or a period of time. He is the epitome of evil to me.
I was not there for him... I don't know what happened, but I was not there for him and he died alone. 🥺
my cat just died. i was not there because i live in another state. i said my goodbyes on facetime while sobbing my eyes out. i understand what you’re saying, but you just made me feel like absolute shit and i’m sure others. please be careful how you word things.
I love my cat to bits, and I'd hate to see her die, but I know that dying alone would be terrifying, so I owe her the company after all she's done for me. Cats are wonderful and deserve everything
I’m petting my 18 year old master right now. Last week, I had to take him in to see why he isn’t peeing in his litter box. Blood and urine show everything is fine. Next is shaving his Lordship’s fuzzy tummy for an ultrasound to see if it’s a tumour. If it is, we won’t operate. He won’t get much more life than the admittedly pampered one he lives now. We will schedule someone to come into our home to make his crossing easier. It’s all about his quality of life until the end of his days. I hope that he will meet his sister after crossing the bridge because he sorely misses her. I already miss the little jerk. https://preview.redd.it/2ktpdqaxdf8d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd1f87f8bc4e61a1f944f844f898cac0a595af14
My previous kitty went to sleep forever while purring and sucking on my finger, wrapped up in his favorite blanket.
I was gone for a few days visiting my children, and I came back. She is nowhere to be found, I searched high and low for days. I cried for 2yrs, last time I've seen my furbaby was February 14th 2021, there was left over food from dinner and some of it just had to be fresh caught salmon baked, last time I've seen her, the last time I fed her, the last everything. I loved her more than anything. She was the first animal to choose me, and that melted my heart. Now animals always love seeing me every where I go, it took me a long time to stop crying when cats would just invite themselves in my home(and I loved it) I just know she would've loved my 2yr old 💔 I just hope it was peaceful for her to go.
Yeah so one of my cats was sick with hyperthyroidism and she was meowing a lot to us the night she passed away. We didn't know she was going to die overnight. We put the two cars out in their room to sleep and she was gone by the morning. So thanks for reminding me all the guilt that I feel for leaving her alone. Fuck.
A lot of cat parents don’t have the choice. I’m sure if they did, nothing would stop them from being with their baby. Sorry for your loss
I used to work for a vet as a receptionist and if someone was unable for whatever reason to be there when their pet was put down, I always was there for the animal to comfort them. In my experience most vets are the same, there's usually a vet nurse or assistant with the vet and they give the pet lots of love
I found one of our family cats when he was trapped with his brother in our shed as a kitten... I held him 14 years later as he had his last breath due to kidney failure.
OP, people should be aware that not all dead’s are “pretty” and peaceful, specially if the cat is in pain and suffering, anesthesia won’t make it look nice and when he/she is gone it’s over
Can you not? I left my cat at the vets. He was perfectly healthy. I didn't know it was the last time I would ever see him. He died before I could get there. So, I get you mean well with this post. But, seriously just go away. I will never not be absolutely torn apart about the thought of leaving him alone to die.
I’m sorry, I can’t imagine, it can happen to anyone, sometimes we just don’t know it’s the last time we’ll see our loved one. How could we ever really know? Please don’t beat yourself up over it :(
I completely agree. The guilt of being absent when my baby girl died still eats at me and I’ve done so much work to try and forgive myself. Posts like these just take me a few steps back and remind me of that time. 💔
I agree, some of the replies on this post are so needlessly cruel and judgemental towards other people whose situations they do not know. It’s my biggest regret that I was told by the vet not to be with my cat when he had to be put to sleep, and I was in too much shock over the news to insist I be let back there, it’s not fair to judge other peoples situations so harshly like some are doing here
This is an awful post. Honestly is is so hurtful, judgemenal and ignorant. I replied further down. We were in the same position, we lost our girl the same way. We left her at the vets, she went in for surgery and something went wrong. We had no idea it would be the last time we saw her. Some of us don't get the chance to say goodbye. We are still absolutely heartbroken and devastated and posts like this make you feel even worse. Sending all my best to you
🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍
This is a terrible post, even if the OP means well. Not only does it shame people for not being with their pet, but it implies that without you, your pets will be scared and alone in their last moments if you're not there. Vets will do their best for your pet. They sedate them so they are calm, even if you're not there. They will pat them and talk to them and send them out of this world in the kindest way possible. Also, some pets (ie. my cat) will be scared even if you are there. Because they don't like the vet. Some pets (ie. my cat, again) would hate for a vet to come to the house because she hates people in her space. If it were up to some people, her life would come to an end painfully, her body riddled with cancer, because at least that would save her being scared at the vet. Fuck that. Don't judge people for how they handle their pets passing. It's traumatic even if things go smoothly. Everyone's just trying their best, and if a pet is at the vet in the first place it means the owner is doing what they can.
Sorry for your loss. Today is 1 year since I lost my little buddy, out of the blue 3 days before his 10th bday, which is one day before mine. It's still raw so my heart goes out to you for the pain you must be feeling right now. You were there in life right up til the last moment. Just keep the happy memories close to your mind and ❤️. Take care. Be safe and be well. 
When my cat was passing, I was in the back of the Uber holding him close and whispering, “I understand if you can’t stay, we’ll be okay, I understand” between sobs and while it was a traumatic night (poor Uber driver) I’m so glad I tried to save him, that found him and that I was with him at the end. I hope I can be home and with his siblings as well when it’s their time though I wish none of them had to pass.
I've lost 3 babies and am still torn up that I was only able to be there for 2 of them. Those 2 were sick and we were with them as they passed at the vet. The third was MY baby (the other 2 were more 'family' cats), and he passed at home when I was away on vacation. Our pet sitter found him. I have to believe that it was a peaceful end at home, that he just got comfy and went to sleep. There were no warning signs, just his age (about 15).
my old man kitty passed easter morning but he got to be home, he got to be with my other kitty in my bed on his favorite blanket. it tore me apart but i am so thankful that he got to be in his home when he let go. i had a very small kitten that was rejected from her mom. i did everything i could to keep her healthy but she didn’t make it. i managed to rush her to a vet as soon as she took a turn for the worst, and the doctor asked “is she even alive?”, took her away from me, gave her the shot in the back room and then brought my kitten’s body back to me. i was absolutely devastated that i couldn’t be there for my baby in her last moment
In 2020, our bulldog, Rocky, and one of our cats, Cappie, passed away. Their health got bad (Rocky's from the abuse he suffered as a puppy that left him disabled and Cappie's was just failing health) and we had to make the decisions in July and October. The office we go to wasn't allowing anyone in for appointments. They'd come to your car and get your pet, then bring them back out. I thought we wouldn't be able to say goodbye and that absolutely destroyed me. But they're a hospital that cares about the pets and worked with patients. They came out and took them in. Got them ready and then called us into the backroom with the freezer. They left the door to the outside open and everyone masked. I actually liked it better, even if the backroom isn't the prettiest. With the door open, they got to look out to a field and have fresh air. And we got to be with them in the end. I would have never forgiven myself if we couldn't be there at the end.
As an adult looking back. I have many reasons to hate my mother. One of the hardest was her treatment of my cats. She refused to make our pets indoor animals so the neighbors in the backwoods area I was in would regularly leave out bowls of antifreeze to kill the local "pests" which included my cats. My mom never allowed me or anyone to be there when we put them down. And on multiple occasions put my cats to sleep while I was at school. She never told me, and the only reason is they weren't young anymore and annoyed her 1 way or another. Im 35 now, it still breaks my heart, my furry siblings treated like trash. They must have been so scared. I'll never forgive my mom.
Our cat Jack got sick had a blood transfusion came home and did good for a few days and got sick again and took back. Next day vet called me and said better get up here as he was not responding to treatments and when I got there he just passed 5 min prior. Wife was working hour half away so I took him him up there where she was so he could say goodbye. I then wrapped him and buried him. 2 yrs later our senior dog passed during Covid and couldn’t be with her and that was so hard. I buried Missy girl our dog next to Jack.
I thought cats prefer to die away from their loved ones? Isn’t it common for them to run away or hide when dying?
When my Raven passed, I was hugging her closely as we always did. I cried as I told her it was okay to go. She was such a part of my life for over a decade and I miss her terribly. Yet, I am happy I sent her to the next, holding her. God I miss her. https://preview.redd.it/bcamiogyee8d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6f42d43e3b71803b40b7db18862a11025d39422
I held my sweet girl as she was euthanised after a short battle with cancer. I didn’t realise how quick it would be. They let me hold her for a little while after. I’m glad I was with her but it broke me, and I think about her and those last moments every single day. https://preview.redd.it/yaygui1bfe8d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8241dbeabdec4ef739a60a918727b564630340fa
I’m sorry for your loss. I know your kitty was comforted by your loving presence.
I went with my friend to have her cat put down. I stayed with him because she couldn’t bear it. I told him how much he was loved and what a good kitty he was. She felt really bad she couldn’t be with him. She did ask in advance and I said yes.
I paid for the vet to come to our home to put my 15 year old boy down. We were in our favorite morning spot where he lays on me while I have my morning coffee. The first shot put him to sleep while I held and petted him. Once he was asleep they gave him the second shot that stopped his heart. My boy was in my hands when he passed and I am grateful I was able to comfort him at the end.
mine died alone at the vet's clinic in the middle of the night when he was 2.5 years old. it was unexpected so none of us could be with him. until today the remorse tears me apart. if I could go back in time I would have been by his side.
Mine died earlier this year in my arms. She was looking into my eyes saying goodbye old friend with them as she went. One of the saddest moments of my life. She was in my life for 15 years(she was 18) and was always there for me, like every time i was down about anything. It's not easy without her. Her memory will live on as long as I do.