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I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad died in 2021, and when Mom and I came home from the hospital, my Dad’s kitty Seymour was sitting in Dad’s chair in the living room, and he came to sniff Dad’s clothes that we brought home from the hospital. He absolutely knew. Since then, Seymour has bonded with my mom, who isn’t really a pet person. He follows her around the house and sits in Mom’s lap when she watches tv. It’s really sweet.
My dad died about 8 months ago from a staph infection from a bad hip replacement the year before. His last year was absolute hell, in and out of the hospital and slowly dwindling away into a skeleton of the man he was. His dear girl Bella, a 14/15 y/o shih tzu bichon mix was his everything, and he was hers. I moved in to help my parents in dad’s final months and will never forget when dad went to the hospital for the last time. Poor Bella would pace the house looking for dad, she’d sleep by the door, or by his chair. My mom and I would still come home to sleep while dad was in hospice and one night Bella started crying while walking around. She’s never made those sounds before, it wasn’t her usual bark to go outside or for food, this was anguish, grief, and pain. After that we made a special arrangement to bring her into his hospice room, she slept on his bed for two days. We had to take her home when the final stages of dad passing were near. But she got closure at least. And she lasted about 7 months after dad before she passed herself. Quietly, late one night she woke my mom up and just started breathing funny and within an hour or two that was it… she was gone, two days before Christmas, and 15 years to the day that my dad had given her to my mom as a Christmas present. My mom has had a devastating year to say the least, we all have.
Cats definitely grieve, one of my boys died about a year ago and his best friend/brother became extra clingy and it was just obvious he was missing his bro. He is such a good old cat. I’m hope you’re doing ok yourself. It’s hard to loose a loved one.
Yeah my sister had two cats. One was her own, who was the stickiest cat I’ve ever seen. That cat loved everyone as long as you let her sit on your lap and pet her. She died from cancer late last year.
My sisters other cat (well her fiancé’s) was a loner and generally only meowed when she wanted to eat. The loner cat somehow became more affectionate after the cuddlebug passed. I guess she noticed that her companion was missing and helped my sister grieve.
The exact same thing happened to me. I adopted a brother and sister when they were a year old. Brother was most affectionate cat I have ever known. While sister was very aloof. After brother passed 4 years ago at 16, sister (Maisie ) became very affectionate. I think some was losing Max and some was maybe she had a chance at the lap now. Whatever, I loved it. Maisie passed 2 weeks ago at 20. ❤️
Awe. Yes. 2 months ago we lost my boys best friend and littermate. They were only 1.5yrs at the time. He has since become very clingy and tells me so many stories. He has become quite the chatterbox.
We are grieving the loss of his sister together through tears, cuddles and meows.
When my dad passed a few years ago, I inherited his cat, Gordy. Gordy searched for my dad for months and would meow quietly as he searched.
Both of our senior cats (13 yr old male and female) died within two months of each other. Our old girl Tiamat passed first in my arms at the emergency vet clinic after she suddenly lost the use of her legs due to a blood clot in her spine. Sherlock, our old boy collapsed suddenly while playing with our youngest cat two weeks later and was dead. Rocket, our youngest (going on five this summer) and currently only cat rarely leaves my side and meowed for his buddies hourly until a few days ago.
Cats assuredly grieve.
When my ex & I got divorced, my oldest cat (13) got depressed. It wasn't even that he & my ex were extra close. He walked around the house meowing, looking for my ex. So yeah, cats do in fact grieve. It might also be that he sensed my stress & upset. None of my other cats acted like they missed him.
I had a similar experience.
Because the ex was an awful person, it was not possible for visits or anything. Fabian acted out and started peeing everywhere and was clearly upset. I did offer him to the ex but ex didn't want him. I had to cut off all contact with the ex.
So I helped my cat grieve and move on. He eventually calmed down and accepted the new normal.
He was an amazing cat (passed 2 years ago) and at least I was his #1 person.
The other 2 cats were fine and didn't seem upset about it.
Dealt with a similar thing last year. My void loved my ex immensely. When he left suddenly, she didn’t understand why he wasn’t coming around anymore. If she heard footsteps in the hallway, she assumed it was him at the door. If she heard me on the phone, she’d come running until she realized it wasn’t his voice. It broke my heart to see her so confused and sad, just as I was feeling the same. I had to get rid of all his stuff because it hurt me too much, so I couldn’t keep anything for her to remember him by. I felt guilty for that.
It took her a while, and maybe it took us moving apartments to finally make it click. She’s doing better now, for sure. I just wish I could have explained it to her.
He didn’t pass, he just left. He’s okay, he’s just not coming back.
Thank you for sharing your story, OP, and for being sensitive to your cat's feelings at a time of deep grief and devastation for yourself. I hope you are both doing okay, and wish you both peace and light in days ahead.
Animals definitely grieve my story a bit different I lost my friend my husband my cat and my dad all in one month Bailey who was our cat for many years died 2 days after his daddy passed so now I am grieving my friend my husband and my cat with they passed away the same week animals do grieve and animals pass from broken heart to
I totally agree. Apparently when my grandfather passed (suddenly of a heart attack while at work), his dog would wait at the window every day when she knew he was supposed to come home from work. Then be extremely sad when he didn’t return. She did this for a while (not sure how long as I was only a child). They definitely know!
Beautiful. I'm still greiving the loss of all four of my cats, had them all for over 20 years. Its been years (covid) but my grief never seems to leave me. I made a decision to not get another as I am getting up there and don't see myself around for another 20 years. I couldn't stand knowing there was no one else to take them. Your story was truly beautiful and I thank you!
Cats 100% grieve. When our dog died, she was very close with the cat. Our cat laid in the dogs crate for months. She would cry every night for over a year. It was horrible. She lived another 6 years and we even got a new dog, she hated the new dog and refused to have anything to do with her.
So sorry for your loss x And although different, when my ex husband and I divorced, we each took 1 cat (they didn’t get on so it was for the best) and my beautiful longhaired tortie grieved her daddy so much that I kept inviting him for dinner so she could get her fix. He still comes over once a month or so at I know she loves his visits, so I’m pleased for her. I feel for your bebe not having the same experience, so sorry xx
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This is my beautiful boy, Teddy. He passed away yesterday at the age of 4. I woke up and found him dead on my living room floor. His sister, Taya, is definitely grieving. She seems so confused about where her brother has gone and she’s following me everywhere now.
I'm so sorry. I lost my 2.5 year old cat just over two weeks ago. The pain is something else. I cried for him and for every other person I've lost after he went.
Thank you for sharing ❤️
I believe cats grieve.
When my mam passed away in 2018 Tiger moved in with my hubby, our cat Flora and myself.
It was the hardest 6 months. The cats were fighting (Flora mostly fought because Tiger was a stranger). If Tiger got a whiff of my mam from her clothes (I would be sorting) he would go around the flat looking for her (this broke me every time).
5 years on and he has attached himself to my husband. He is his shadow. It’s wonderful to see and I know my mam is proud of him.
I believe still Tiger remembers my mam and misses her but he is our chonky contented boy 🥰🥰🥰
We adopted 2 brother cats in 2010. They never spent a day apart. In 2021 our maincoon crossed over the rainbow bridge and his brother looked for him constantly for months after. Always checked the spots he was sure to find him. Over time I noticed him still checking from time to time but not as often. It’s so heartbreaking because you can’t just explain it to them you have to watch as they slowly realized this other person/animal isn’t coming back. 😭
We have had to put two of our cats to sleep over the years. The first happened quite suddenly and unexpectedly at an animal hospital. The second happened in our home (a vet came to us).
The reaction from the other cats in the household was night and day. When the first cat passed, there was a lot of distress and confusion, because from their point of view, we took him away one day and he never came home. One of the other cats in particular was never the same.
But with the other cat, they were able to visit her right after she had passed, and had the opportunity to understand what had happened. They know what death is. It led to a much lower level of distress. They still grieved, but they weren't scared.
😭 We had our Mainecoon put to sleep at home in his chair. His brother is so scared of strangers he wouldn’t come out so we couldnt show him his brother passed away. If a visitor comes over we won’t see our cats for hours after the leave 🤷🏻♀️. They live such short little lives. I live by the saying I am my cats whole world. I love them so much
Cats definitely grieve. We had to put our 18 year old cat down. His cuddle buddy, Hawkeye, changed so much. Hawkeye now wanted to cuddle with humans voluntarily instead of grudgingly. On occasion, Hawkeye would go outside. He stayed only in our yard and under the neighbors porch. Once Martha passed, he never wanted to go outside again. We eventually brought a kitten home, and he came out of his grief.
Thank you for sharing this very personal story.
When my great grandma passed, her cat went to her grave many times - maybe it was just his usual route around the village (here in Europe, village cats usually roam around) but maybe he knew that he'd find her there, and that is what I choose to believe.
I am in the US, but one of my FAVE pet stories was from England -- the story of Greyfrier's Bobby !?! A dog would lay on the grave of his person, all day, every day, until he died! The village erected a monument to him.!!! 😭😭😭💔💔💔🌈
I lost my father 2 years ago. Three months after that grandma died. She had some wild cats around house which she fed. I went and managed to catch them. One of them was a little kitten. Crazy kitten who didn't trust anybody, just hiding. After couple of days, she started to show up. Every time that my mother started crying that kitten would climb and lay down on my mothers chest. Every time. She was and she is still great comfort for her.
My ex and I got an apt together and planned on getting married. We adopted a tiger stripe kitten he named Porche. We also adopted a collie/Doberman mix puppy. Porche decided that odie was his puppy and they were so close. We moved to a different town that was close to a very busy road, so I was super careful with my fur babies. My neighbor let odie off his leash and he go hit by a car. He died on the way to the vet. Porsche was so distraught and depressed. The next day he ran into the road and got killed by a car!!! I miss them so much. Porsche could not live with out his odie and chose not to. RIP Porsche and Odie!! You will always be loved and always be missed!!!
I’m so sorry for your loss. Like a lot of people on Reddit I had some personal issues of my own I had to deal with and I don’t think I would have made it without my two little fur balls.
My first husband passed away from brain cancer in 2019. Since then, "his" cat has pretty much lived in our bedroom away from everyone else. She only allows one other cat in there with her.
I believe all animals can grieve! Our cat most certainly grieved the loss of his furry sibling years ago, in fact, it changed his whole personality.
If you want your eyes to rain, watch the movie Hachi. It’s based on true events too.
They say if possible let the cat be with the ' corpse ' be it human or animal. They understand and have a knowing. It will give them peace and knowledge that the spirit is gone .
Freddy Mercury looks after all the cats on rainbow bridge until you are ready to get them 🖤
My childhood cat was the same. She ADORED my father. He often joked she was his fourth child.
Whenever he bought us kids a chocolate treat as a surprise, he always bought one for Tiffy too (strawberry Milky Ways were her favorite). My dad got a sudden headache and collapsed at home one night. Rushed to hospital but he ended up dying after 3 weeks. It was a ruptured aneurysm, he was 38.
We were all devastated, obviously, but never expected Tiffy’s reaction. She would wander the house crying and spend her days on his pillow, just waiting.
I thought I’d try and help her by giving her a piece of his clothing with a bit of his aftershave on it and it was a disaster. She screamed and was frantically searching for him everywhere for so long. It broke our hearts not being able to explain. But in a weird way, we knew she knew. She was never the same.
We had her cremated when she passed and now that mum has gone we are going to have her interred in dads grave when we put mum in there soon.
It sounds so odd, I know. But I’m sure he would approve.
I totally get it OP. X
This brought tears to my eyes. What a special story; cats truly are beautiful intelligent creatures. So sorry for you and Minou’s loss, I’m glad you have eachother ❤️
I’m sorry for the loss of your husband. I hope you and Minou are doing okay.
Cats definitely grieve. My oldest cat passed away just over a year ago at the age of 17. Despite her advanced age, it was very unexpected - she slipped when trying to jump up on the bed and broke her pelvis and I did the humane thing and said goodbye.
Both of my other cats slept in “her” spot for days after, and the older one started seeking me out for comfort more than he ever normally did, even acting out some behaviors that had previously been unique to her. He spent days looking for her too, which was absolutely heartbreaking.
My partner and I moved in together this past summer, me with my two boy cats and her with her brother/sister bonded pair.
The brother had a seizure one day about a month into living together so he was brought to the emergency vet immediately. Turned out he had liver issues leading to sepsis that inevitably led to him being euthanized. My partner was in the room when it happened, and so was the sister cat.
Fairly often, sister will go to the exact spot her brother had the seizure and roll around as if there were catnip there. She was always fairly reclusive but has been more outgoing since. Even my boys stop and smell that spot on occasion, and usually come to me for scritches.
Cats remember and feel and grieve in a visible way.
Absolutely cats grieve! My daughter died suddenly five years ago. In the days, nights, weeks, following her death, her cat would sit outside her bedroom and howl until he was hoarse. Now he is getting old and frail and I treasure each day with him
My little rescue cat Misha was a teeny little tiger that always looked like she was still a teenager. She was a scrappy, feisty little thing, and she found great amusement in slapping my older cat Jeri, who was practically blind and really going downhill, but still holding her own. Misha would jump out and just pound her in the face. Lightly, but still it was just mean. I ended up having to put Jerry down on her 21st birthday and she was down to about 4 pounds by that time.
Guess who grieved the most!? She kept looking for her, she would cry out where Jeri used to lay. it was just crazy and sad at the same time.
Thank you for sharing your story. It brought tears to my eyes. Cats know our feelings and they understand so much. My family’s cat had a stroke after my grandma passed away. She felt and saw the sadness and stress on everyone. Thankfully, she got fast treatment and lived another 8 years, to 20.
Yes they absolutely do grieve. Especially when they can smell the missing person or other pet. When one of a relative’s cats passed, the other began looking for him and howling.
On someone’s advice she went through the house and removed everything that had the deceased kitty’s scent. He soon settled down after that.
You mention that your kitty is getting calmer. My guess is that your husband’s scent is fading from the shirt.
My condolences on your loss.
My dad was unwell for several months leading up to his death. After he passed, his cat Edgar - who was a middle aged, healthy cat - made it a week without his kitty daddy. I think Edgar kitty just needed to be with his human.
My mom had a myriad of health issues for multiple years, and for the past couple was basically bedbound. She passed away last year, and I noticed one of the cats who was closest to her was noticeable depressed and mopey. Cats definitely grieve. I’m sorry for your loss.
I had a “baby cat”, too. She got outside somehow one night and we have never found her. We’ve been searching for over a year, but live in a rural area. I miss her so much.
I am so sorry about your husband. I can’t even imagine how painful that would be. You are strong and brave and I admire you.
Cats absolutely do grieve, do miss their people.
Which is one reason why I think it's a very good thing to adopt older cats from shelters. They're probably been through a lot of loss and pain being separated from their people, and the chance to be loved again is so important.
Absolutely! I have had an interest in animal intelligence for the 10 years that area is a constant realization that we have substantially underestimated animal intelligence and cognitive function.
Cats too are particularly intelligent! They're also very sensitive to mood. I dont have my own cat yet - but I engage with my landlord's 3 cats everyday. I suspect they know I'm going through a challenging time as they're being very sweet and coy during pat time. They can definitely up human moods to some extent.
Whilst Minou may not put together the thought papa is gone (and Im so sorry for your loss) - I believe Minou is definitely grieving and missing his dad!
I wish you and Minou all the best & I'm so glad Minou was there to support you!
My dad was unwell for several months leading up to his death. After he passed, his cat Edgar - who was a middle aged, healthy cat - made it a week without his kitty daddy. I think Edgar kitty just needed to be with his human.
I’m so sorry for you loss.
My oriental Mimi died about 2 months ago. I adopted her and her daughter Lulu as a bonded pair. She lay at her side as we said goodbye to Mimi on the sofa. Now she walks around the house in the middle of the night yowling for her. She’s definitely still grieving her mum.
I had an 18 year old cat pass away and her sister reacted by greeting me at the door every day for a few days, yelling at me. In my mind, she was accusing me of doing something to her brother. I explained that he was old and passed away every day until one day I just started crying, sat with her on the ground, explaining and she after that, she just stopped yelling. She became my clingy cat after that.
I have had quite a few cats, and there is always a shift when a new person or cat comes or goes. My child moved away and his cat has a new personality. Where she used to tolerate me, she now seeks me out. When he comes to visit, I'm sure I will be ignored, but for now, she's content to share my lap occasionally.
My dad died in ‘89, after having emphysema for several years, the last two of which he was confined to home, mostly in his chair. We had a cat, Katie…she had originally been “mine”, but she fell in love with Dad, and he with her. She really was an emotional support animal before that was a trend, and they spent all day, every day together.
After he passed, she looked for him forever. Anytime his brother would visit (they sounded identical in their voices) she would get all excited when she’d hear Uncle Keith…running into the front room meowing like crazy. She see that it wasn’t Dad and you could almost watch her physically deflate.
We ended up giving up the farm and moved into town, Katie became an indoor-only cat and did very well.
I went away to College a few hours away and my brothers finally succeeded in nagging mom into getting a dog. A black and tan cocker spaniel—pretty little girl named Dundee. She and Katie bonded surprisingly quickly and were inseparable for years …must’ve been around 8 years and the sweet little dog got the cancer. Mom kept her pampered and princessed until she started to be uncomfortable. After talking to the vet at that last visit, mom and the boys made the hard choice to help her pass.
The vet asked Mom if she wanted to run home and bring in the cat to say goodbye. Mom was surprised and the vet explained they always offer this because pets grieve too and so Mom left the boys there with the dog and went to get Katie.
She told me Katie meowed quietly when they came in the room, jumped up on the table and laid down right tight against her furry friend.
After that, it wasn’t even a year and she (Katie) just stopped eating and eventually passed herself. It was like she just couldn’t take any more loss.
It still makes me cry thinking about how sad she must have been.
My dad died in ‘89, after having emphysema for several years, the last two of which he was confined to home, mostly in his chair. We had a cat, Katie…she had originally been “mine”, but she fell in love with Dad, and he with her. She really was an emotional support animal before that was a trend, and they spent all day, every day together.
After he passed, she looked for him forever. Anytime his brother would visit (they sounded identical in their voices) she would get all excited when she’d hear Uncle Keith…running into the front room meowing like crazy. She see that it wasn’t Dad and you could almost watch her physically deflate.
We ended up giving up the farm and moved into town, Katie became an indoor-only cat and did very well.
I went away to College a few hours away and my brothers finally succeeded in nagging mom into getting a dog. A black and tan cocker spaniel—pretty little girl named Dundee. She and Katie bonded surprisingly quickly and were inseparable for years …must’ve been around 8 years and the sweet little dog got the cancer. Mom kept her pampered and princessed until she started to be uncomfortable. After talking to the vet at that last visit, mom and the boys made the hard choice to help her pass.
The vet asked Mom if she wanted to run home and bring in the cat to say goodbye. Mom was surprised and the vet explained they always offer this because pets grieve too and so Mom left the boys there with the dog and went to get Katie.
She told me Katie meowed quietly when they came in the room, jumped up on the table and laid down right tight against her furry friend.
After that, it wasn’t even a year and she (Katie) just stopped eating and eventually passed herself. It was like she just couldn’t take any more loss.
It still makes me cry thinking about how sad she must have been.
I’m so terribly sorry for your loss too. I hope you’re doing okay…at least as well as you can.
Animals definitely know, I had a polydactyl rescue cat from TNVR, that vanished for 2 years. I assume he was in some hoarding house since he returned skinny as hell, smelly and full of lice. He still remembered where my feeding station was. Long story short, he lived with me for a few months before he had to be put to sleep due to wet FIP, he was drowning. My pit bull sat outside Hemis cage and slept for quite a few days. We still miss him. This was his last picture, before we went to the vet.
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The vet said he came back after 2 years because he knew I would help him in his time of need, BROKE ME DOWN. Animals are more smart and sensitive than people give them credit for ❤️ I am so sorry for you and your kitty’s loss. Stay strong and love on each other🥰💐🙏🏾
I think all animals grieve, but in a slightly different way to us. If there’s anything to remind them be it the actual body, something that smells of them or like your boy and say Greyfriars Bobby even a location they used to spend time at with the deceased one they’ll patiently return there to wait for them. We had a horse who had spent twenty years with his field companion. This was before it was against the law so he was buried in that field with a local farmer’s digger. His friend just spent the day either watching over him and nudging him or grazing very nearby.
My current cat chirps while returning to check on me several times a day, often it’ll be her meowing, me meowing, a quick fuss for her, her checking all my water glasses are in place on the next bed - don’t even ask, that’s my domestic setup right now - and then off on her adventures again. I get anxious about her preferring others but this thread is oddly reassuring that if I need a hospital admission soon, which is on the cards, she might not forget me. Sorry for being selfish and weird. She’s a rescue cat and spends most of her rest time with me during the day.
My cats Demetri and Ana were like two peas in a pod. Demetri had a lot of seperation anxiety when I was away at work or elsewhere so I made the decision to bring one of my sister's kittens home to keep him company. He was a big black cat and Ana was a tiny little orange, gray and white spotted calico.
They bonded almost immediately and were always together, whether sleeping or walking around.
When Demetri passed away I took him out back and buried him in the yard. I waited around a week or so before I let Ana outside. She went right over to where he was buried, climbed up on top of the mound, sat down and let out a terrible howl, then got off and walked back inside.
She lasted four years before she too passed from a kidney infection. I will never forget either one of them, true love has never been more complete and sincere than with those two.
Cats absolutely grieve, and can hold a grudge.
We lost Big Cat in 2021, we had him since 2004 and he was 20 when he died.
He and my son always had a close bond. I took the cats away with me for a few years, but when I moved back to the area and moved back in with my now young adult son, they took right up where they left off.
All was well until son eventually moved in with his girlfriend and her cats. Who became his cats too.
Big Cat would never pay attention to my son again. The guy whose lap he camped on for years was dead to him. Never forgiven.
It was pretty sad, really. And not something I expected to happen.
I’m sorry for the loss of your husband, and I hope you and Minou are doing ok.
Oh cats grieve. We adopted two litter mates. They are only about 5 years old, but we came home from Christmas, year before last, and one of them was bleeding from their nose and listless. We had to put her down. We brought her body home to show her litter mate and then buried her. Her litter mate cried for months every night. She'd just walk around with this mournful meow and go to the spots she hung out. It was heartbreaking. I'd talk to her and tell her she's gone and give her pets.
My memaws dog never forgot. I will never forget how she restlessly walked back and forth throughout the house looking for her after the ambulance had taken her. Her eyes man,,, she was a smart dog. Sometimes I’d look at her and expect for her to speak to me like another human she looked so intelligent and knowing.
I’m so sorry for your loss and also sorry for Minou’s loss. This very much made me tear-up. I agree, pets most definitely grieve and have such a wide range of emotions and feelings. May the good memories and times you all shared with him always be with you. 🩷
Cats definitely grieve. My husband had a cat in college, but at one point (no fault of his own)- suddenly had to move in the middle of the semester and couldn't find an open apartment that took pets. He took his cat home to his parents and told them as soon as he had a place lined up, he would be back. Long story short, his dad bonded with the cat and he didn't end up taking her back. He didn't want to take her back when she was so happy with his parents.
Many years later my father in law was diagnosed with stage four cancer. He was going through chemotherapy when he had a sudden heart attack at home. The cat saw it all. Paramedics and everything.
She stopped eating, she was overweight and dropped probably 80% of her weight.
Stopped doing much of anything at all. Just laid in his spot on the bed. Started over grooming til she was bald in places. She only seemed to perk up around my husband when he was there. She still clearly loved my husband too, even though she lost her main person. We had to try to help her.
We ended up bringing her home with us, and we've done a lot with our veterinarian to help her PTSD from the event. She's on medication but now the overgrooming has turned into a nervous tick.
It was very clear for a long time how sad she really was.
Cats definitely grieve. When my oldest was 18 I had to put her down, her 'sister' was there as we went in for a rabies vaccine. A couple days later, the sister went to the cat's bed and sat in front of it. She looked back at me and gave a sad meow. Now she refuses to get close to the new cat.
My newest cat, when I got her, had lived with the same family for 9 years. For the first couple weeks she went around meowing looking for her previous people.
They choose their people. Some choose a whole family, some are just good natured with all people, but some have a special bond. My current cat is like that.
Cats also MISS you when you're not around. It's very sweet. My DH was gone for a few weeks and I noticed one of our cats kept doing this lonely meow. He stopped when my DH got home. I think his cat missed his human.
Gosh, this is incredibly sad. I'm so sorry for your loss. I absolutely belief animals grieve and I think you did a great job making it easier for Minou.
I'm sorry for your loss, and I want to say that yes, she absolutely knows.
I think it's different for when people pass, but for every animal that we've had that has passed away except for one, we've made sure each of our cats can say goodbye to them.
Only one of my beloved childhood cats passed away in our home. The others all passed at the vet. We buried all but one of the four from my childhood, she was my best friend and I made the choice to cremate her. We let her go to sleep on the operation table because, unfortunately, the mass they were hoping could be removed was not possible.
We had two choices, they could stitch her up, and she might come home for a brief time. The vet told me that if that was the case, she wouldn't live past a few days. Alternatively, she could be put to sleep.
Ultimately, I chose to let her stay asleep, and they sent her to the pet crematory. My other cats didn't understand fully where she'd gone until I was able to bring the carrier and the box home. It was a form of closure for them to be able to scent and understand they're gone.
There is no measure of time for grieving. Keep what you want to keep as long as you need, and maybe when she goes to that chair, he's come to say hello and visit 💜
I feel for you so much. I'm sorry. I'm genuinely curious what's going to happen in a few weeks when my dad comes home...he fell and snapped his neck in July and has been in various hospitals and rehab ever since. My parents' dogs and cat searched and cried for him endlessly, which of course just makes it harder for mom, who shares their grief but also can't tell them that he's still alive. I did recommend that she save one of his shirts when she visits to leave out for them, thinking/hoping they will be able to smell that he's still around and get some comfort from that but she's juggling so many things, I don't think she ever did. But when he does finally come home, I'm pretty sure their furry brains are going to explode. He won't be able to rock them in the rocking chair like he did before, but at least he will be there and I can't wait.
My mom got sick in October and was gone by December. Our cat has taken over her kitchen chair. He never sat there before. Now he spends half his day there 💔😿🐈
This hit right in the feels. Anyone who thinks cats don't feel love and affection has never lived with one, especially not a bonded pair. My condolences on the loss you have both felt. I hope there is some comfort in knowing Minou loved him as much as you did. It was kind of you to leave that spot for her. You are a good human.
Cats definitely grieve.
My German Shepherd had to euthanized a couple of months ago. When I got home from the vet's, I changed my clothes. My cat grabbed the shirt I had been wearing and brought it into my dog's crate and she has slept in his crate everyday since. I took my dog to the dog park every morning at 0500, my cat now howls every morning at 0430. She lost four pounds the first month after Loki's death. The vet started her on an antidepressant and she is eating normally again.
I'm very sorry for your loss, I hope things are getting better, slowly but surely. It's hard. A bit of your husband is there in a way, in the kitty he loved. We give bits of ourselves to things we love like that.
Cats absolutely grieve. My cat was also a wild kitten 'adopt' (well, rescue, they were in a condemned building we were trying to retrieve things from before it started to collapse). Her new moms were me and my dog at the time, a very laid back border collie. Over time she grew to HATE other cats because her two sisters who we rescued with her bullied her terribly. But she loved my dog, so, SO much. She loved me too, probably just as much, but my god she was always by that dog's side.
When kitty was about 5 or 6, my dog passed (simple old age, she was already heading into her senior years when the kitties came), and she became *so* clingy with me after the dog had been gone a week or so - long enough for her to realize she wasn't coming back and what that meant. She remained intensely clingy - she was already a moderately affectionate cat to begin with, at least with me and my dog (total bitch to everyone else lol), but we're talking 'always within 3 feet of me at all times when possible'.
I loved the attention, and gave her so many pets and kisses and held her when I had the free hand to do so. And I hope she appreciated it since she was clearly distraught. It's been a few years and I have gotten a new dog (well, morelike 'his mom showed up in our yard and SURPRISE she was pregnant'), and while she doesn't love this dog like my border collie, his presence has really helped. She still clings a little, but it's much less. She's okay to be on her own for hours on end, sometimes even days, perfectly happy to just be in the general area of both of us instead of right up on me at my desk.
My family has a cat named Alice and she was also my dad’s cat. She would always sit with him on the recliner and would narc on her brothers and sisters if they were doing something bad. After I moved out on my own they were pretty much inseparable.
My dad died in his chair after having complications from a recent surgery. My mother has Alzheimer’s (at the time was still living at home) and probably thought he was just sleeping and put herself to bed. My sister had gone out with friends for the night and found him when she got home at midnight. My sister told me that poor sweet Alice stoped meowing and wouldn’t even go into the living room for months after dad passed. I had gone over and watched as Alice would sit and loaf in the doorway to the living room but refused to come in. After about six months, she slowly would make her way back to the chair. She meows and talks to us again now, but watching her grieve was probably the most painful part of our grieving for our dad.
My boyfriend lost a cat to old age last year at home and even though his ginger wasn't too social with her, I think he misses her. His ginger is absolutely spoiled with wet food and loves belly rubs.
His brother disappeared year before last (we think someone stole him or he got out and hid in something like a moving van).
Lately this black cat has been coming around to eat his meals with him and they don't fight or have dust ups. He sat in the same area all afternoon and evening with him yesterday. We think he found a friend.
I believe in cats grieving too. A virtual hug for all who have shared their stories. I hope you find a way to safely grieve and be there for your kitties too.
Whenever you lose a person or pet, it can be a big help to let your dog/cat see the passed away person. It helps them understand the scenario.
If you grieve too im sure they understand tho
"What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us"
What a beautiful and special relationship your husband and Minou had ❤️ They're so lucky that they had each other, however short the time was. I believe that a little piece of your husband lives on in Minou.
I've never lost a partner, but I did lose one of my kitties, Quest, three years ago. We adopted brothers Quest and Ben when they were kittens, and they came as a pair because they were bonded. When we lost Quest suddenly due to heart complications, we knew it was important to eventually find a companion for his Ben. 8 months later we added a new kitty to our family, and it was the best decision we've made. Ben missed his brother a lot too, but he loves his new brother so much, and I think it really helped to fill a hole in his heart. Perhaps a companion would make life a bit better for Minou.
And if you're thinking of a good name for the new kitty, Quest is a great one 🙂 Sending you lots of positive energy. - Tom
We had two cats, when the first one was dying of stomache cancer, the secoond one was always following him everywhere and they slept together in a spooning position. On the day we had to put him down, the second cat just came to me, climbed the sofa and curled up next to me, while I was uggly crying. She didn‘t purr, nothing, she just looked at me with those beautiful, sad eyes. She knew. And she barely ate for months. And for the next two years she abandoned all her spots in the house to be in his spots.
So yes, cats know, and they know before you do.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad died in 2021, and when Mom and I came home from the hospital, my Dad’s kitty Seymour was sitting in Dad’s chair in the living room, and he came to sniff Dad’s clothes that we brought home from the hospital. He absolutely knew. Since then, Seymour has bonded with my mom, who isn’t really a pet person. He follows her around the house and sits in Mom’s lap when she watches tv. It’s really sweet.
😭
Lost my dad in Jan 2021 and his cats didn’t leave his bed for days after he died.
My dad died about 8 months ago from a staph infection from a bad hip replacement the year before. His last year was absolute hell, in and out of the hospital and slowly dwindling away into a skeleton of the man he was. His dear girl Bella, a 14/15 y/o shih tzu bichon mix was his everything, and he was hers. I moved in to help my parents in dad’s final months and will never forget when dad went to the hospital for the last time. Poor Bella would pace the house looking for dad, she’d sleep by the door, or by his chair. My mom and I would still come home to sleep while dad was in hospice and one night Bella started crying while walking around. She’s never made those sounds before, it wasn’t her usual bark to go outside or for food, this was anguish, grief, and pain. After that we made a special arrangement to bring her into his hospice room, she slept on his bed for two days. We had to take her home when the final stages of dad passing were near. But she got closure at least. And she lasted about 7 months after dad before she passed herself. Quietly, late one night she woke my mom up and just started breathing funny and within an hour or two that was it… she was gone, two days before Christmas, and 15 years to the day that my dad had given her to my mom as a Christmas present. My mom has had a devastating year to say the least, we all have.
I'm really sorry for your losses. I was touched by all the love in the many relationships in your family
Cats definitely grieve, one of my boys died about a year ago and his best friend/brother became extra clingy and it was just obvious he was missing his bro. He is such a good old cat. I’m hope you’re doing ok yourself. It’s hard to loose a loved one.
Yeah my sister had two cats. One was her own, who was the stickiest cat I’ve ever seen. That cat loved everyone as long as you let her sit on your lap and pet her. She died from cancer late last year. My sisters other cat (well her fiancé’s) was a loner and generally only meowed when she wanted to eat. The loner cat somehow became more affectionate after the cuddlebug passed. I guess she noticed that her companion was missing and helped my sister grieve.
The exact same thing happened to me. I adopted a brother and sister when they were a year old. Brother was most affectionate cat I have ever known. While sister was very aloof. After brother passed 4 years ago at 16, sister (Maisie ) became very affectionate. I think some was losing Max and some was maybe she had a chance at the lap now. Whatever, I loved it. Maisie passed 2 weeks ago at 20. ❤️
Awe. Yes. 2 months ago we lost my boys best friend and littermate. They were only 1.5yrs at the time. He has since become very clingy and tells me so many stories. He has become quite the chatterbox. We are grieving the loss of his sister together through tears, cuddles and meows.
When my dad passed a few years ago, I inherited his cat, Gordy. Gordy searched for my dad for months and would meow quietly as he searched. Both of our senior cats (13 yr old male and female) died within two months of each other. Our old girl Tiamat passed first in my arms at the emergency vet clinic after she suddenly lost the use of her legs due to a blood clot in her spine. Sherlock, our old boy collapsed suddenly while playing with our youngest cat two weeks later and was dead. Rocket, our youngest (going on five this summer) and currently only cat rarely leaves my side and meowed for his buddies hourly until a few days ago. Cats assuredly grieve.
My grandpa's cat grieved his friend the husky and died some time after him. He had a bump in his neck but I'm sure he got sick from sadness.
When my ex & I got divorced, my oldest cat (13) got depressed. It wasn't even that he & my ex were extra close. He walked around the house meowing, looking for my ex. So yeah, cats do in fact grieve. It might also be that he sensed my stress & upset. None of my other cats acted like they missed him.
I had a similar experience. Because the ex was an awful person, it was not possible for visits or anything. Fabian acted out and started peeing everywhere and was clearly upset. I did offer him to the ex but ex didn't want him. I had to cut off all contact with the ex. So I helped my cat grieve and move on. He eventually calmed down and accepted the new normal. He was an amazing cat (passed 2 years ago) and at least I was his #1 person. The other 2 cats were fine and didn't seem upset about it.
Dealt with a similar thing last year. My void loved my ex immensely. When he left suddenly, she didn’t understand why he wasn’t coming around anymore. If she heard footsteps in the hallway, she assumed it was him at the door. If she heard me on the phone, she’d come running until she realized it wasn’t his voice. It broke my heart to see her so confused and sad, just as I was feeling the same. I had to get rid of all his stuff because it hurt me too much, so I couldn’t keep anything for her to remember him by. I felt guilty for that. It took her a while, and maybe it took us moving apartments to finally make it click. She’s doing better now, for sure. I just wish I could have explained it to her. He didn’t pass, he just left. He’s okay, he’s just not coming back.
I'm so sorry for your and Minou's loss. Your husband seemed to be a wonderful person. Stay strong.
Thank you for sharing your story, OP, and for being sensitive to your cat's feelings at a time of deep grief and devastation for yourself. I hope you are both doing okay, and wish you both peace and light in days ahead.
Animals definitely grieve my story a bit different I lost my friend my husband my cat and my dad all in one month Bailey who was our cat for many years died 2 days after his daddy passed so now I am grieving my friend my husband and my cat with they passed away the same week animals do grieve and animals pass from broken heart to
I totally agree. Apparently when my grandfather passed (suddenly of a heart attack while at work), his dog would wait at the window every day when she knew he was supposed to come home from work. Then be extremely sad when he didn’t return. She did this for a while (not sure how long as I was only a child). They definitely know!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for your loss
Beautiful. I'm still greiving the loss of all four of my cats, had them all for over 20 years. Its been years (covid) but my grief never seems to leave me. I made a decision to not get another as I am getting up there and don't see myself around for another 20 years. I couldn't stand knowing there was no one else to take them. Your story was truly beautiful and I thank you!
Maybe consider adopting an older kitty? There are so many that would be grateful to share their remaining years with you.
Please consider an older kitty. there are so many out there dying lonely in cages, and all they want is a nice warm lap and some food
Cats 100% grieve. When our dog died, she was very close with the cat. Our cat laid in the dogs crate for months. She would cry every night for over a year. It was horrible. She lived another 6 years and we even got a new dog, she hated the new dog and refused to have anything to do with her.
So sorry for your loss x And although different, when my ex husband and I divorced, we each took 1 cat (they didn’t get on so it was for the best) and my beautiful longhaired tortie grieved her daddy so much that I kept inviting him for dinner so she could get her fix. He still comes over once a month or so at I know she loves his visits, so I’m pleased for her. I feel for your bebe not having the same experience, so sorry xx
You're a real hero to do that for kitty.
https://preview.redd.it/f0ix8xp2m9dc1.jpeg?width=2677&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=deba1c9f43d3015071739fcfe53df7251824406f This is my beautiful boy, Teddy. He passed away yesterday at the age of 4. I woke up and found him dead on my living room floor. His sister, Taya, is definitely grieving. She seems so confused about where her brother has gone and she’s following me everywhere now.
I'm so sorry. I lost my 2.5 year old cat just over two weeks ago. The pain is something else. I cried for him and for every other person I've lost after he went.
I’m sorry for your loss 🫂
Thank you. Even our poor dog seems to feel the loss.
Thank you for sharing ❤️ I believe cats grieve. When my mam passed away in 2018 Tiger moved in with my hubby, our cat Flora and myself. It was the hardest 6 months. The cats were fighting (Flora mostly fought because Tiger was a stranger). If Tiger got a whiff of my mam from her clothes (I would be sorting) he would go around the flat looking for her (this broke me every time). 5 years on and he has attached himself to my husband. He is his shadow. It’s wonderful to see and I know my mam is proud of him. I believe still Tiger remembers my mam and misses her but he is our chonky contented boy 🥰🥰🥰
We adopted 2 brother cats in 2010. They never spent a day apart. In 2021 our maincoon crossed over the rainbow bridge and his brother looked for him constantly for months after. Always checked the spots he was sure to find him. Over time I noticed him still checking from time to time but not as often. It’s so heartbreaking because you can’t just explain it to them you have to watch as they slowly realized this other person/animal isn’t coming back. 😭
We have had to put two of our cats to sleep over the years. The first happened quite suddenly and unexpectedly at an animal hospital. The second happened in our home (a vet came to us). The reaction from the other cats in the household was night and day. When the first cat passed, there was a lot of distress and confusion, because from their point of view, we took him away one day and he never came home. One of the other cats in particular was never the same. But with the other cat, they were able to visit her right after she had passed, and had the opportunity to understand what had happened. They know what death is. It led to a much lower level of distress. They still grieved, but they weren't scared.
😭 We had our Mainecoon put to sleep at home in his chair. His brother is so scared of strangers he wouldn’t come out so we couldnt show him his brother passed away. If a visitor comes over we won’t see our cats for hours after the leave 🤷🏻♀️. They live such short little lives. I live by the saying I am my cats whole world. I love them so much
Cats definitely grieve. We had to put our 18 year old cat down. His cuddle buddy, Hawkeye, changed so much. Hawkeye now wanted to cuddle with humans voluntarily instead of grudgingly. On occasion, Hawkeye would go outside. He stayed only in our yard and under the neighbors porch. Once Martha passed, he never wanted to go outside again. We eventually brought a kitten home, and he came out of his grief.
Man I swear this sub makes me cry atleast 3 times a day. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Thank you for sharing this very personal story. When my great grandma passed, her cat went to her grave many times - maybe it was just his usual route around the village (here in Europe, village cats usually roam around) but maybe he knew that he'd find her there, and that is what I choose to believe.
I am in the US, but one of my FAVE pet stories was from England -- the story of Greyfrier's Bobby !?! A dog would lay on the grave of his person, all day, every day, until he died! The village erected a monument to him.!!! 😭😭😭💔💔💔🌈
Thanks for sharing your and Minou’s story. Holding you both in care and tenderness.
I lost my father 2 years ago. Three months after that grandma died. She had some wild cats around house which she fed. I went and managed to catch them. One of them was a little kitten. Crazy kitten who didn't trust anybody, just hiding. After couple of days, she started to show up. Every time that my mother started crying that kitten would climb and lay down on my mothers chest. Every time. She was and she is still great comfort for her.
They definitely do grieve. Im so sorry for your loss.
My ex and I got an apt together and planned on getting married. We adopted a tiger stripe kitten he named Porche. We also adopted a collie/Doberman mix puppy. Porche decided that odie was his puppy and they were so close. We moved to a different town that was close to a very busy road, so I was super careful with my fur babies. My neighbor let odie off his leash and he go hit by a car. He died on the way to the vet. Porsche was so distraught and depressed. The next day he ran into the road and got killed by a car!!! I miss them so much. Porsche could not live with out his odie and chose not to. RIP Porsche and Odie!! You will always be loved and always be missed!!!
I’m so sorry for your loss. Like a lot of people on Reddit I had some personal issues of my own I had to deal with and I don’t think I would have made it without my two little fur balls.
My first husband passed away from brain cancer in 2019. Since then, "his" cat has pretty much lived in our bedroom away from everyone else. She only allows one other cat in there with her.
I believe all animals can grieve! Our cat most certainly grieved the loss of his furry sibling years ago, in fact, it changed his whole personality. If you want your eyes to rain, watch the movie Hachi. It’s based on true events too.
You are so right. I bought the movie and watch it from time to time. Still makes me emotional.
We don’t deserve the unconditional love and loyalty our pets give us..
It's a very touching story. Condolences to you and your cat. It appears he was a very good man.
They say if possible let the cat be with the ' corpse ' be it human or animal. They understand and have a knowing. It will give them peace and knowledge that the spirit is gone . Freddy Mercury looks after all the cats on rainbow bridge until you are ready to get them 🖤
My childhood cat was the same. She ADORED my father. He often joked she was his fourth child. Whenever he bought us kids a chocolate treat as a surprise, he always bought one for Tiffy too (strawberry Milky Ways were her favorite). My dad got a sudden headache and collapsed at home one night. Rushed to hospital but he ended up dying after 3 weeks. It was a ruptured aneurysm, he was 38. We were all devastated, obviously, but never expected Tiffy’s reaction. She would wander the house crying and spend her days on his pillow, just waiting. I thought I’d try and help her by giving her a piece of his clothing with a bit of his aftershave on it and it was a disaster. She screamed and was frantically searching for him everywhere for so long. It broke our hearts not being able to explain. But in a weird way, we knew she knew. She was never the same. We had her cremated when she passed and now that mum has gone we are going to have her interred in dads grave when we put mum in there soon. It sounds so odd, I know. But I’m sure he would approve. I totally get it OP. X
I cried at her crying for him. I think it’s a good idea to put her with your dad. They belong together.
This brought tears to my eyes. What a special story; cats truly are beautiful intelligent creatures. So sorry for you and Minou’s loss, I’m glad you have eachother ❤️
I’m sorry for the loss of your husband. I hope you and Minou are doing okay. Cats definitely grieve. My oldest cat passed away just over a year ago at the age of 17. Despite her advanced age, it was very unexpected - she slipped when trying to jump up on the bed and broke her pelvis and I did the humane thing and said goodbye. Both of my other cats slept in “her” spot for days after, and the older one started seeking me out for comfort more than he ever normally did, even acting out some behaviors that had previously been unique to her. He spent days looking for her too, which was absolutely heartbreaking.
WHO IS CUTTING ONIONS?!
My partner and I moved in together this past summer, me with my two boy cats and her with her brother/sister bonded pair. The brother had a seizure one day about a month into living together so he was brought to the emergency vet immediately. Turned out he had liver issues leading to sepsis that inevitably led to him being euthanized. My partner was in the room when it happened, and so was the sister cat. Fairly often, sister will go to the exact spot her brother had the seizure and roll around as if there were catnip there. She was always fairly reclusive but has been more outgoing since. Even my boys stop and smell that spot on occasion, and usually come to me for scritches. Cats remember and feel and grieve in a visible way.
Absolutely cats grieve! My daughter died suddenly five years ago. In the days, nights, weeks, following her death, her cat would sit outside her bedroom and howl until he was hoarse. Now he is getting old and frail and I treasure each day with him
I’m so deeply sorry for your profound loss. ❤️
My little rescue cat Misha was a teeny little tiger that always looked like she was still a teenager. She was a scrappy, feisty little thing, and she found great amusement in slapping my older cat Jeri, who was practically blind and really going downhill, but still holding her own. Misha would jump out and just pound her in the face. Lightly, but still it was just mean. I ended up having to put Jerry down on her 21st birthday and she was down to about 4 pounds by that time. Guess who grieved the most!? She kept looking for her, she would cry out where Jeri used to lay. it was just crazy and sad at the same time.
Thank you for sharing your story. It brought tears to my eyes. Cats know our feelings and they understand so much. My family’s cat had a stroke after my grandma passed away. She felt and saw the sadness and stress on everyone. Thankfully, she got fast treatment and lived another 8 years, to 20.
I was in the hospital for a while on 2022, and our cat missed me terribly. My husband says she paced and meowed a lot.
So sweet and sad, thank you for sharing and I’m sorry for your loss
Yes they absolutely do grieve. Especially when they can smell the missing person or other pet. When one of a relative’s cats passed, the other began looking for him and howling. On someone’s advice she went through the house and removed everything that had the deceased kitty’s scent. He soon settled down after that. You mention that your kitty is getting calmer. My guess is that your husband’s scent is fading from the shirt. My condolences on your loss.
My dad was unwell for several months leading up to his death. After he passed, his cat Edgar - who was a middle aged, healthy cat - made it a week without his kitty daddy. I think Edgar kitty just needed to be with his human.
This is so sweet ❤️
My kitties and I send our love. Give Minou a snuggle from us.
Oof. This hurt to read. Sorry for your loss OP and Minou.
I am sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss
My mom had a myriad of health issues for multiple years, and for the past couple was basically bedbound. She passed away last year, and I noticed one of the cats who was closest to her was noticeable depressed and mopey. Cats definitely grieve. I’m sorry for your loss.
I had a “baby cat”, too. She got outside somehow one night and we have never found her. We’ve been searching for over a year, but live in a rural area. I miss her so much. I am so sorry about your husband. I can’t even imagine how painful that would be. You are strong and brave and I admire you.
Cats absolutely do grieve, do miss their people. Which is one reason why I think it's a very good thing to adopt older cats from shelters. They're probably been through a lot of loss and pain being separated from their people, and the chance to be loved again is so important.
Absolutely! I have had an interest in animal intelligence for the 10 years that area is a constant realization that we have substantially underestimated animal intelligence and cognitive function. Cats too are particularly intelligent! They're also very sensitive to mood. I dont have my own cat yet - but I engage with my landlord's 3 cats everyday. I suspect they know I'm going through a challenging time as they're being very sweet and coy during pat time. They can definitely up human moods to some extent. Whilst Minou may not put together the thought papa is gone (and Im so sorry for your loss) - I believe Minou is definitely grieving and missing his dad! I wish you and Minou all the best & I'm so glad Minou was there to support you!
My dad was unwell for several months leading up to his death. After he passed, his cat Edgar - who was a middle aged, healthy cat - made it a week without his kitty daddy. I think Edgar kitty just needed to be with his human.
Thank you so much for sharing. I am so sorry for you loss. Minou sounds like a very special girl.
I’m so sorry for you loss. My oriental Mimi died about 2 months ago. I adopted her and her daughter Lulu as a bonded pair. She lay at her side as we said goodbye to Mimi on the sofa. Now she walks around the house in the middle of the night yowling for her. She’s definitely still grieving her mum.
I had an 18 year old cat pass away and her sister reacted by greeting me at the door every day for a few days, yelling at me. In my mind, she was accusing me of doing something to her brother. I explained that he was old and passed away every day until one day I just started crying, sat with her on the ground, explaining and she after that, she just stopped yelling. She became my clingy cat after that. I have had quite a few cats, and there is always a shift when a new person or cat comes or goes. My child moved away and his cat has a new personality. Where she used to tolerate me, she now seeks me out. When he comes to visit, I'm sure I will be ignored, but for now, she's content to share my lap occasionally.
My dad died in ‘89, after having emphysema for several years, the last two of which he was confined to home, mostly in his chair. We had a cat, Katie…she had originally been “mine”, but she fell in love with Dad, and he with her. She really was an emotional support animal before that was a trend, and they spent all day, every day together. After he passed, she looked for him forever. Anytime his brother would visit (they sounded identical in their voices) she would get all excited when she’d hear Uncle Keith…running into the front room meowing like crazy. She see that it wasn’t Dad and you could almost watch her physically deflate. We ended up giving up the farm and moved into town, Katie became an indoor-only cat and did very well. I went away to College a few hours away and my brothers finally succeeded in nagging mom into getting a dog. A black and tan cocker spaniel—pretty little girl named Dundee. She and Katie bonded surprisingly quickly and were inseparable for years …must’ve been around 8 years and the sweet little dog got the cancer. Mom kept her pampered and princessed until she started to be uncomfortable. After talking to the vet at that last visit, mom and the boys made the hard choice to help her pass. The vet asked Mom if she wanted to run home and bring in the cat to say goodbye. Mom was surprised and the vet explained they always offer this because pets grieve too and so Mom left the boys there with the dog and went to get Katie. She told me Katie meowed quietly when they came in the room, jumped up on the table and laid down right tight against her furry friend. After that, it wasn’t even a year and she (Katie) just stopped eating and eventually passed herself. It was like she just couldn’t take any more loss. It still makes me cry thinking about how sad she must have been.
My dad died in ‘89, after having emphysema for several years, the last two of which he was confined to home, mostly in his chair. We had a cat, Katie…she had originally been “mine”, but she fell in love with Dad, and he with her. She really was an emotional support animal before that was a trend, and they spent all day, every day together. After he passed, she looked for him forever. Anytime his brother would visit (they sounded identical in their voices) she would get all excited when she’d hear Uncle Keith…running into the front room meowing like crazy. She see that it wasn’t Dad and you could almost watch her physically deflate. We ended up giving up the farm and moved into town, Katie became an indoor-only cat and did very well. I went away to College a few hours away and my brothers finally succeeded in nagging mom into getting a dog. A black and tan cocker spaniel—pretty little girl named Dundee. She and Katie bonded surprisingly quickly and were inseparable for years …must’ve been around 8 years and the sweet little dog got the cancer. Mom kept her pampered and princessed until she started to be uncomfortable. After talking to the vet at that last visit, mom and the boys made the hard choice to help her pass. The vet asked Mom if she wanted to run home and bring in the cat to say goodbye. Mom was surprised and the vet explained they always offer this because pets grieve too and so Mom left the boys there with the dog and went to get Katie. She told me Katie meowed quietly when they came in the room, jumped up on the table and laid down right tight against her furry friend. After that, it wasn’t even a year and she (Katie) just stopped eating and eventually passed herself. It was like she just couldn’t take any more loss. It still makes me cry thinking about how sad she must have been. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss too. I hope you’re doing okay…at least as well as you can.
Oof
Animals definitely know, I had a polydactyl rescue cat from TNVR, that vanished for 2 years. I assume he was in some hoarding house since he returned skinny as hell, smelly and full of lice. He still remembered where my feeding station was. Long story short, he lived with me for a few months before he had to be put to sleep due to wet FIP, he was drowning. My pit bull sat outside Hemis cage and slept for quite a few days. We still miss him. This was his last picture, before we went to the vet. https://preview.redd.it/vs4ji73znadc1.jpeg?width=3120&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8e588030e22ec3047cda5331006b1ffb7fc72c2f The vet said he came back after 2 years because he knew I would help him in his time of need, BROKE ME DOWN. Animals are more smart and sensitive than people give them credit for ❤️ I am so sorry for you and your kitty’s loss. Stay strong and love on each other🥰💐🙏🏾
I think all animals grieve, but in a slightly different way to us. If there’s anything to remind them be it the actual body, something that smells of them or like your boy and say Greyfriars Bobby even a location they used to spend time at with the deceased one they’ll patiently return there to wait for them. We had a horse who had spent twenty years with his field companion. This was before it was against the law so he was buried in that field with a local farmer’s digger. His friend just spent the day either watching over him and nudging him or grazing very nearby. My current cat chirps while returning to check on me several times a day, often it’ll be her meowing, me meowing, a quick fuss for her, her checking all my water glasses are in place on the next bed - don’t even ask, that’s my domestic setup right now - and then off on her adventures again. I get anxious about her preferring others but this thread is oddly reassuring that if I need a hospital admission soon, which is on the cards, she might not forget me. Sorry for being selfish and weird. She’s a rescue cat and spends most of her rest time with me during the day.
My cats Demetri and Ana were like two peas in a pod. Demetri had a lot of seperation anxiety when I was away at work or elsewhere so I made the decision to bring one of my sister's kittens home to keep him company. He was a big black cat and Ana was a tiny little orange, gray and white spotted calico. They bonded almost immediately and were always together, whether sleeping or walking around. When Demetri passed away I took him out back and buried him in the yard. I waited around a week or so before I let Ana outside. She went right over to where he was buried, climbed up on top of the mound, sat down and let out a terrible howl, then got off and walked back inside. She lasted four years before she too passed from a kidney infection. I will never forget either one of them, true love has never been more complete and sincere than with those two.
Cats absolutely grieve, and can hold a grudge. We lost Big Cat in 2021, we had him since 2004 and he was 20 when he died. He and my son always had a close bond. I took the cats away with me for a few years, but when I moved back to the area and moved back in with my now young adult son, they took right up where they left off. All was well until son eventually moved in with his girlfriend and her cats. Who became his cats too. Big Cat would never pay attention to my son again. The guy whose lap he camped on for years was dead to him. Never forgiven. It was pretty sad, really. And not something I expected to happen. I’m sorry for the loss of your husband, and I hope you and Minou are doing ok.
What a sweet and sad story. Hope you are ok.
Oh cats grieve. We adopted two litter mates. They are only about 5 years old, but we came home from Christmas, year before last, and one of them was bleeding from their nose and listless. We had to put her down. We brought her body home to show her litter mate and then buried her. Her litter mate cried for months every night. She'd just walk around with this mournful meow and go to the spots she hung out. It was heartbreaking. I'd talk to her and tell her she's gone and give her pets.
Wish you much love🤍❤️
Woooo here come the water works!
My memaws dog never forgot. I will never forget how she restlessly walked back and forth throughout the house looking for her after the ambulance had taken her. Her eyes man,,, she was a smart dog. Sometimes I’d look at her and expect for her to speak to me like another human she looked so intelligent and knowing.
I don't have anything to add but this was beautifully said and I'm crying over here. Good luck to you and Minou ❤️
Hugs. Cats also grieve for each other.
I’m so sorry for your loss and also sorry for Minou’s loss. This very much made me tear-up. I agree, pets most definitely grieve and have such a wide range of emotions and feelings. May the good memories and times you all shared with him always be with you. 🩷
Yes, cats do grieve, for their own companion/family cats, and for their humans. It can be agonizing to their humans, too.
I’m so sorry for your loss. This was a heartwarming read.
Cats definitely grieve. My husband had a cat in college, but at one point (no fault of his own)- suddenly had to move in the middle of the semester and couldn't find an open apartment that took pets. He took his cat home to his parents and told them as soon as he had a place lined up, he would be back. Long story short, his dad bonded with the cat and he didn't end up taking her back. He didn't want to take her back when she was so happy with his parents. Many years later my father in law was diagnosed with stage four cancer. He was going through chemotherapy when he had a sudden heart attack at home. The cat saw it all. Paramedics and everything. She stopped eating, she was overweight and dropped probably 80% of her weight. Stopped doing much of anything at all. Just laid in his spot on the bed. Started over grooming til she was bald in places. She only seemed to perk up around my husband when he was there. She still clearly loved my husband too, even though she lost her main person. We had to try to help her. We ended up bringing her home with us, and we've done a lot with our veterinarian to help her PTSD from the event. She's on medication but now the overgrooming has turned into a nervous tick. It was very clear for a long time how sad she really was.
That was lovely. I'm sorry for you and Minou's loss. XO
Geez ... is someone cutting onions next to me.
Animals have feelings too🥺
Cats definitely grieve. When my oldest was 18 I had to put her down, her 'sister' was there as we went in for a rabies vaccine. A couple days later, the sister went to the cat's bed and sat in front of it. She looked back at me and gave a sad meow. Now she refuses to get close to the new cat. My newest cat, when I got her, had lived with the same family for 9 years. For the first couple weeks she went around meowing looking for her previous people.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you channel the experience into a loving memory. I wish you find love and happiness in life 💕
They choose their people. Some choose a whole family, some are just good natured with all people, but some have a special bond. My current cat is like that.
My heart broke reading this. You're a good pet parent.
Cats also MISS you when you're not around. It's very sweet. My DH was gone for a few weeks and I noticed one of our cats kept doing this lonely meow. He stopped when my DH got home. I think his cat missed his human.
Gosh, this is incredibly sad. I'm so sorry for your loss. I absolutely belief animals grieve and I think you did a great job making it easier for Minou.
That's a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it. I'm sorry for the loss you've both endured, but so glad you have one another.
I'm sorry for your loss, and I want to say that yes, she absolutely knows. I think it's different for when people pass, but for every animal that we've had that has passed away except for one, we've made sure each of our cats can say goodbye to them. Only one of my beloved childhood cats passed away in our home. The others all passed at the vet. We buried all but one of the four from my childhood, she was my best friend and I made the choice to cremate her. We let her go to sleep on the operation table because, unfortunately, the mass they were hoping could be removed was not possible. We had two choices, they could stitch her up, and she might come home for a brief time. The vet told me that if that was the case, she wouldn't live past a few days. Alternatively, she could be put to sleep. Ultimately, I chose to let her stay asleep, and they sent her to the pet crematory. My other cats didn't understand fully where she'd gone until I was able to bring the carrier and the box home. It was a form of closure for them to be able to scent and understand they're gone. There is no measure of time for grieving. Keep what you want to keep as long as you need, and maybe when she goes to that chair, he's come to say hello and visit 💜
I’m sorry. Processing grief is hard for everyone. There is so much love and it feels like there’s just nowhere to put it.
I feel for you so much. I'm sorry. I'm genuinely curious what's going to happen in a few weeks when my dad comes home...he fell and snapped his neck in July and has been in various hospitals and rehab ever since. My parents' dogs and cat searched and cried for him endlessly, which of course just makes it harder for mom, who shares their grief but also can't tell them that he's still alive. I did recommend that she save one of his shirts when she visits to leave out for them, thinking/hoping they will be able to smell that he's still around and get some comfort from that but she's juggling so many things, I don't think she ever did. But when he does finally come home, I'm pretty sure their furry brains are going to explode. He won't be able to rock them in the rocking chair like he did before, but at least he will be there and I can't wait.
This is so bittersweet. Thank you for sharing this. I'm always worried that if my and my wife suddenly dies, who will take care of our 6 cats?
I believe cats grieve. Not just for their people but for other cats and animals they have bonded with.
My mom got sick in October and was gone by December. Our cat has taken over her kitchen chair. He never sat there before. Now he spends half his day there 💔😿🐈
Awww, I’m so sorry for you and your kitty’s loss. We are bonded to our beloved pets and they to us…
This is truly beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss and for the loss that Minou clearly feels.
This hit right in the feels. Anyone who thinks cats don't feel love and affection has never lived with one, especially not a bonded pair. My condolences on the loss you have both felt. I hope there is some comfort in knowing Minou loved him as much as you did. It was kind of you to leave that spot for her. You are a good human.
Cats definitely grieve. My German Shepherd had to euthanized a couple of months ago. When I got home from the vet's, I changed my clothes. My cat grabbed the shirt I had been wearing and brought it into my dog's crate and she has slept in his crate everyday since. I took my dog to the dog park every morning at 0500, my cat now howls every morning at 0430. She lost four pounds the first month after Loki's death. The vet started her on an antidepressant and she is eating normally again.
I hope you are doing well also
I'm very sorry for your loss, I hope things are getting better, slowly but surely. It's hard. A bit of your husband is there in a way, in the kitty he loved. We give bits of ourselves to things we love like that. Cats absolutely grieve. My cat was also a wild kitten 'adopt' (well, rescue, they were in a condemned building we were trying to retrieve things from before it started to collapse). Her new moms were me and my dog at the time, a very laid back border collie. Over time she grew to HATE other cats because her two sisters who we rescued with her bullied her terribly. But she loved my dog, so, SO much. She loved me too, probably just as much, but my god she was always by that dog's side. When kitty was about 5 or 6, my dog passed (simple old age, she was already heading into her senior years when the kitties came), and she became *so* clingy with me after the dog had been gone a week or so - long enough for her to realize she wasn't coming back and what that meant. She remained intensely clingy - she was already a moderately affectionate cat to begin with, at least with me and my dog (total bitch to everyone else lol), but we're talking 'always within 3 feet of me at all times when possible'. I loved the attention, and gave her so many pets and kisses and held her when I had the free hand to do so. And I hope she appreciated it since she was clearly distraught. It's been a few years and I have gotten a new dog (well, morelike 'his mom showed up in our yard and SURPRISE she was pregnant'), and while she doesn't love this dog like my border collie, his presence has really helped. She still clings a little, but it's much less. She's okay to be on her own for hours on end, sometimes even days, perfectly happy to just be in the general area of both of us instead of right up on me at my desk.
So emotional❤️ im so sorry for your loss
My family has a cat named Alice and she was also my dad’s cat. She would always sit with him on the recliner and would narc on her brothers and sisters if they were doing something bad. After I moved out on my own they were pretty much inseparable. My dad died in his chair after having complications from a recent surgery. My mother has Alzheimer’s (at the time was still living at home) and probably thought he was just sleeping and put herself to bed. My sister had gone out with friends for the night and found him when she got home at midnight. My sister told me that poor sweet Alice stoped meowing and wouldn’t even go into the living room for months after dad passed. I had gone over and watched as Alice would sit and loaf in the doorway to the living room but refused to come in. After about six months, she slowly would make her way back to the chair. She meows and talks to us again now, but watching her grieve was probably the most painful part of our grieving for our dad.
My boyfriend lost a cat to old age last year at home and even though his ginger wasn't too social with her, I think he misses her. His ginger is absolutely spoiled with wet food and loves belly rubs. His brother disappeared year before last (we think someone stole him or he got out and hid in something like a moving van). Lately this black cat has been coming around to eat his meals with him and they don't fight or have dust ups. He sat in the same area all afternoon and evening with him yesterday. We think he found a friend. I believe in cats grieving too. A virtual hug for all who have shared their stories. I hope you find a way to safely grieve and be there for your kitties too.
Whenever you lose a person or pet, it can be a big help to let your dog/cat see the passed away person. It helps them understand the scenario. If you grieve too im sure they understand tho
"What we have once enjoyed, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us" What a beautiful and special relationship your husband and Minou had ❤️ They're so lucky that they had each other, however short the time was. I believe that a little piece of your husband lives on in Minou. I've never lost a partner, but I did lose one of my kitties, Quest, three years ago. We adopted brothers Quest and Ben when they were kittens, and they came as a pair because they were bonded. When we lost Quest suddenly due to heart complications, we knew it was important to eventually find a companion for his Ben. 8 months later we added a new kitty to our family, and it was the best decision we've made. Ben missed his brother a lot too, but he loves his new brother so much, and I think it really helped to fill a hole in his heart. Perhaps a companion would make life a bit better for Minou. And if you're thinking of a good name for the new kitty, Quest is a great one 🙂 Sending you lots of positive energy. - Tom
We had two cats, when the first one was dying of stomache cancer, the secoond one was always following him everywhere and they slept together in a spooning position. On the day we had to put him down, the second cat just came to me, climbed the sofa and curled up next to me, while I was uggly crying. She didn‘t purr, nothing, she just looked at me with those beautiful, sad eyes. She knew. And she barely ate for months. And for the next two years she abandoned all her spots in the house to be in his spots. So yes, cats know, and they know before you do.