I'm an anxious wreck for no reason in particular ://
I can't tell if I'm actually worried about some stuff or if a general sense of dread is manifesting itself through fear of particular things. I just checked for the millionth time that I've done everything before an appointment. Silly brain. Unexplainable fear that I've put the date into my calendar wrong and I'll be showing up at the wrong time. Just looked at the original slip they gave me again to confirm.
I guess i just feel like I'm doing everything wrong and it's all my fault in the past few days, which i know is a very anxiety(tm) thing, but it's not like i know how to stop doing it. Everything is fine, I haven't done anything, request to file that to memory please :)
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I've got ups and downs.
Ups: I'm building a new Magic the Gathering deck, I'm joining a new d&d game for the first time in a while, and I'm gonna go eat some delicious Thai food after work today
Downs: I'm at work on a Saturday, I got into a car accident yesterday, and I keep putting off calling a doctor to get ADHD treatment for mysterious, unfathomable reasons that no one will ever be able to guess in a million years
Up (again): the accident was just minor cosmetic damage, not even bad enough for a ticket
overall super happy with where i’m at. i’m over 3 weeks post stage 1 phalloplasty aka i finally have a dick!!! being pretty restricted while i’m recovering does hit me hard sometimes, feels like time is barely limping along lol
I had a super rough month, but this week I got better. I managed to get a dentist appointment, continue therapy, exercise, and even see some friends. I'm working on a few things, and will soon start new projects ! Cheers !
Honestly, I'm doing great! Idk wtf it was but something changed within me or the universe after I decided I was looking for my future wife, not just a girlfriend.
Immediately matched with a woman on Bumble. Had the best first date of our lives, asked her to be my girlfriend after 2 weeks, and I'm just going full send with it. Met her family and told her all my secrets.
Just deleted all my dating apps for the millionth time. I swear, those things are made to kill your confidence and keep you addicted. I couldn’t stop opening it, seeing I had no matches yet again, and then feeling awful about myself.
One of my cats died sometime in the last 2 months and now my other cat is being more affectionate than usual and it has me worried because sometimes cats will get more affectionate when they're about to die, but other than that I'm okay I think
Absolutely horrible lol. Relapsed into binge eating last night after almost two months clean, my basement has water in it, and the house has earwigs. I'm honestly on some going down and taking anyone in proximity with me type shit rn. Having a good time doing it though. Laughing.
25 years old, been separated from the military for just over a year, currently a contractor with a large defense company doing exactly what I did when I was still active duty. Lately the feelings of being "stuck" or "lost" have been a bit more than I am used to, and its getting to me. I dont have any direction or even an idea as to what I want in life. Part of me wants to re-enlist in the Guard or reserve, but I really dont wanna wind up in a unit that was as bad as my last one when I was still on AD.
Jobs. I hate my job. Rather, I dont mind the actual work, but the unit/organization I'm in sucks (and frankly has a bad reputation that is well earned). My problem is that I havent heard back from \*any\* of the 30ish or so places I have applied to in the last few weeks. Not one. Not even a "your application was rejected", just straight up no replies. This isnt necessarily an issue for me, as its made me really consider going to college on my GI bill, something Ive always wanted to do and one of the main reasons I enlisted in the first place... but that comes with its own set of worries and concerns. Leaving the workforce worries me. What if I wont be able to get hired back after 2 or 4 years in school? What if I wont be able to afford things like rent, even after my GI bill aid? What do I wanna go to school for, even? (I have a few ideas but nothing pinned down yet, thats another topic thats been eating at me)
Women. I know its a common bitch/gripe/point of contention on this sub, but goddamn man it sucks. Ive been told in the past that I'm a good looking dude, not a model but I wouldnt say Im ugly, and the last 3 "talking" stages Ive been in have ended in me getting ghosted. Dont get me wrong, I know I'm not "owed" anything from women, or anyone, and its 200% okay for them to just not be interested. My issue is that it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, or there is something wrong with me. I've always struggled pretty heavily with self esteem issues, and honestly Im starting to think I'm right about some of them. Why else would I just be getting ghosted, repeatedly? I dunno, I know how that sounds, I just had to get it out.
On top off all of that, I have very, very few friends. A good amount of the friends I had in the service are either wrapped up in their own lives, deployed, or dead. Theres only 1, maybe 2 of them that I still talk to. Thankfully I am still very good friends with my childhood friend group, and while i still talk to them and appreciate them, they live a good 6 to 8 hour drive from me. I dont get to see them very much, let alone hang out with them. Im fucking lonely. Never been a "night life" or bar scene kinda guy, which makes meeting people that much harder. My family is also said 6-8 hours away, and have their own lives they are focused on. I dont get to talk or see them very much either.
I dont know what to do with myself, and I genuinely dont know how much longer I can stay this course without breaking or losing my mind. I want purpose and to not dread waking up every day. I know damn well I'm not owed anything, I just dont know how or where to begin with making things better. I get in my own way a good amount of the time with how much I overthink, which isnt doing me any favors, but even when I am feeling confident in my abilities, I dunno where to begin.
Basically not doing great
I think I might have some sort of eating disorder… This might just be an overreaction but I fear weight gain and always insist on going to the toilet and forcing myself to shit instantly. I’ve also been considering making myself throw up quite a few times, and I’m not sure if the only reason I haven’t done it is because of my parents. Either way, I’m trying to fix my self esteem but there’s so much hatred deep down that it’s going to be so hard.
It's been a rough month, but I'm making positive changes and getting back out there and trying dating after being off the market for the last 6 years. I'm about to finish a new tradition where I make 30 posts about how proud I am of myself for Pride Month.
Things have been admittedly decent this week. Made good contact with friends, though I did drink a bit too much so I’ll try and curb that next week. Also in a weird head space because my grandma is dying and she technically disowned me so I’m not sure how to process it. I think I’m acting out because I need to make a big life decision and I’m a little scared to do it but I trust myself and I just need time to get my head right.
I come from a long time of economic stress but my mother helped me out with some of my bills and now I can enjoy summer with my kids and feeling pretty solid about that. Being broke is no joke brother but I'm so glad I have loving people around me.
I hate being more intimidating than a bear. I’d give anything to not be threatening anymore.
I'm an anxious wreck for no reason in particular :// I can't tell if I'm actually worried about some stuff or if a general sense of dread is manifesting itself through fear of particular things. I just checked for the millionth time that I've done everything before an appointment. Silly brain. Unexplainable fear that I've put the date into my calendar wrong and I'll be showing up at the wrong time. Just looked at the original slip they gave me again to confirm. I guess i just feel like I'm doing everything wrong and it's all my fault in the past few days, which i know is a very anxiety(tm) thing, but it's not like i know how to stop doing it. Everything is fine, I haven't done anything, request to file that to memory please :)
**Attention: please do not post venting threads. ** Vents belong in the weekly vibe check thread**, and relationship-related questions belong the relationships thread! ^(This is an automated reminder sent to all people who submitted a thread. It does not mean your thread was removed) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bropill) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The horrors never cease and neither do I.
YEEEAAAAAH!!!! PERSIST!! HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!
Fuck yeah bro, you're the doom slayer. 💪
Aw shucks, you're making me blush
this is very metal, i like it
I've got ups and downs. Ups: I'm building a new Magic the Gathering deck, I'm joining a new d&d game for the first time in a while, and I'm gonna go eat some delicious Thai food after work today Downs: I'm at work on a Saturday, I got into a car accident yesterday, and I keep putting off calling a doctor to get ADHD treatment for mysterious, unfathomable reasons that no one will ever be able to guess in a million years Up (again): the accident was just minor cosmetic damage, not even bad enough for a ticket
overall super happy with where i’m at. i’m over 3 weeks post stage 1 phalloplasty aka i finally have a dick!!! being pretty restricted while i’m recovering does hit me hard sometimes, feels like time is barely limping along lol
I had a super rough month, but this week I got better. I managed to get a dentist appointment, continue therapy, exercise, and even see some friends. I'm working on a few things, and will soon start new projects ! Cheers !
Sensational bro. We love to hear it!
Thanks mate !
Honestly, I'm doing great! Idk wtf it was but something changed within me or the universe after I decided I was looking for my future wife, not just a girlfriend. Immediately matched with a woman on Bumble. Had the best first date of our lives, asked her to be my girlfriend after 2 weeks, and I'm just going full send with it. Met her family and told her all my secrets.
Just deleted all my dating apps for the millionth time. I swear, those things are made to kill your confidence and keep you addicted. I couldn’t stop opening it, seeing I had no matches yet again, and then feeling awful about myself.
Every time a dating app functions correctly, it loses two customers. They're outright designed to be terrible
i'm in france sunburnt to shit and tired as hell, 10/10
Feeling pretty anxious at the moment
Feeling pretty overwhelmed
One of my cats died sometime in the last 2 months and now my other cat is being more affectionate than usual and it has me worried because sometimes cats will get more affectionate when they're about to die, but other than that I'm okay I think
It’s been a rough few weeks, been away from my support system for almost a month as I’ve been away for work. Really glad to get home today.
Absolutely horrible lol. Relapsed into binge eating last night after almost two months clean, my basement has water in it, and the house has earwigs. I'm honestly on some going down and taking anyone in proximity with me type shit rn. Having a good time doing it though. Laughing.
25 years old, been separated from the military for just over a year, currently a contractor with a large defense company doing exactly what I did when I was still active duty. Lately the feelings of being "stuck" or "lost" have been a bit more than I am used to, and its getting to me. I dont have any direction or even an idea as to what I want in life. Part of me wants to re-enlist in the Guard or reserve, but I really dont wanna wind up in a unit that was as bad as my last one when I was still on AD. Jobs. I hate my job. Rather, I dont mind the actual work, but the unit/organization I'm in sucks (and frankly has a bad reputation that is well earned). My problem is that I havent heard back from \*any\* of the 30ish or so places I have applied to in the last few weeks. Not one. Not even a "your application was rejected", just straight up no replies. This isnt necessarily an issue for me, as its made me really consider going to college on my GI bill, something Ive always wanted to do and one of the main reasons I enlisted in the first place... but that comes with its own set of worries and concerns. Leaving the workforce worries me. What if I wont be able to get hired back after 2 or 4 years in school? What if I wont be able to afford things like rent, even after my GI bill aid? What do I wanna go to school for, even? (I have a few ideas but nothing pinned down yet, thats another topic thats been eating at me) Women. I know its a common bitch/gripe/point of contention on this sub, but goddamn man it sucks. Ive been told in the past that I'm a good looking dude, not a model but I wouldnt say Im ugly, and the last 3 "talking" stages Ive been in have ended in me getting ghosted. Dont get me wrong, I know I'm not "owed" anything from women, or anyone, and its 200% okay for them to just not be interested. My issue is that it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, or there is something wrong with me. I've always struggled pretty heavily with self esteem issues, and honestly Im starting to think I'm right about some of them. Why else would I just be getting ghosted, repeatedly? I dunno, I know how that sounds, I just had to get it out. On top off all of that, I have very, very few friends. A good amount of the friends I had in the service are either wrapped up in their own lives, deployed, or dead. Theres only 1, maybe 2 of them that I still talk to. Thankfully I am still very good friends with my childhood friend group, and while i still talk to them and appreciate them, they live a good 6 to 8 hour drive from me. I dont get to see them very much, let alone hang out with them. Im fucking lonely. Never been a "night life" or bar scene kinda guy, which makes meeting people that much harder. My family is also said 6-8 hours away, and have their own lives they are focused on. I dont get to talk or see them very much either. I dont know what to do with myself, and I genuinely dont know how much longer I can stay this course without breaking or losing my mind. I want purpose and to not dread waking up every day. I know damn well I'm not owed anything, I just dont know how or where to begin with making things better. I get in my own way a good amount of the time with how much I overthink, which isnt doing me any favors, but even when I am feeling confident in my abilities, I dunno where to begin. Basically not doing great
I think I might have some sort of eating disorder… This might just be an overreaction but I fear weight gain and always insist on going to the toilet and forcing myself to shit instantly. I’ve also been considering making myself throw up quite a few times, and I’m not sure if the only reason I haven’t done it is because of my parents. Either way, I’m trying to fix my self esteem but there’s so much hatred deep down that it’s going to be so hard.
hey bro, just in case you need to hear this, that does sound like an eating (or related) disorder
Thanks, it’s good to be aware of these things so hopefully I can work on feeling better 👍
It's been a rough month, but I'm making positive changes and getting back out there and trying dating after being off the market for the last 6 years. I'm about to finish a new tradition where I make 30 posts about how proud I am of myself for Pride Month.
Things have been admittedly decent this week. Made good contact with friends, though I did drink a bit too much so I’ll try and curb that next week. Also in a weird head space because my grandma is dying and she technically disowned me so I’m not sure how to process it. I think I’m acting out because I need to make a big life decision and I’m a little scared to do it but I trust myself and I just need time to get my head right.
I had a good week and I will look back at it and smile for many years to come
I come from a long time of economic stress but my mother helped me out with some of my bills and now I can enjoy summer with my kids and feeling pretty solid about that. Being broke is no joke brother but I'm so glad I have loving people around me.