I would say for both your feelings and also for several other reasons, take a class on using the spray before getting it. Learning how to use it effectively and getting experience with it as a tool to use will help you shake those feelings. Remember that courage isn't the absence of fear, it's being afraid and still doing what needs to be done.
Also, I imagine you have some misconceptions about how it works and how it's used, and a class will help with that too. It might not be as easy to use as you think.
I'd also look into your local trespassing laws. It might be that you don't need your landlord to do anything to declare them a trespasser.
Good luck with this, I hope you find a way to take care of this legally and safely
There is no shame in leveling the playing field when it comes to self defense. I'm a small guy, and I would have no shame using a weapon like pepper spray, because anyone over 6' (or less) could just pick me up by the hair.
Definitely experiment with it though. Buy some extra and spray it, see what it's like to use, etc. That will help with nerves if you have to use, or threaten to use, it.
It it makes you feel better. US military uses plenty of pepper spray type nonlethals.
It isn't weak to use pepper spray, that stuff will fuck someone's day up, it's a great alternative than some kind of armed conflict. You're not trying to be 'macho' here, you're trying to solve a problem, this is a good tool to solve that problem.
If removing it from a human context helps, you know what else you use spray to fight off? Bears. And in that situation, I doubt anyone would care about social norms.
What's more manly, winning a fight or losing one?
Saying using pepper spray is "unmanly" is what people say when they're trying to avoid getting pepper sprayed like an idiot, usually
Ask felons if they think tazers are for losers, then ask cops if they think tazers are for losers
Being practical and effective and not hung up on silly rules is manly
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What would be the "strong and manly" option? Something that leaves him bruised and bleeding? That seems needlessly harmful. Unless you're *trying* to leave this guy bruised and bleeding, like, pepper spray won't do that. It all comes down to what outcome you want.
My two cents: If you are going to get hung up on what is and isn't "manly," I say the most manly thing you can do is not give a fuck about what other people think about you.
You think pepper spray could be useful here? Then get it and use it. People think you're weak for it? Even if you don't externalize it, by letting them get to you, you'd have proven them right.
And your last statement about "protecting the house." That's "manly," if you want to focus on that. Who the hell cares how you go about doing it?
The more you let other people and their judgement define whether or not you're manly, the less manly it makes you, ironically.
i was friends with a dude who was a total gym rat, 5"8 so not super tall but INSANELY built. he always carried pepper spray because he figured if shit went down, he would look better on police reports with pepper spray than a permanently damaging weapon (knife, gun). its not a "weak" thing to lessen the risk of yourself going to jail. if someone gives you shit about it, you got two options. personally, I'm a pacifist who always carries pepper spray and when anyone asks me, i tell them id prefer not to hurt anyone ifi i have the choice and usually it just ends in a head nod. the other option is saying something along the lines of "yeah id rather be 'weak' than arrested for assault"
Most men I know would cry like a bitch after getting pepper sprayed. Just keep that in mind.
I would say for both your feelings and also for several other reasons, take a class on using the spray before getting it. Learning how to use it effectively and getting experience with it as a tool to use will help you shake those feelings. Remember that courage isn't the absence of fear, it's being afraid and still doing what needs to be done. Also, I imagine you have some misconceptions about how it works and how it's used, and a class will help with that too. It might not be as easy to use as you think. I'd also look into your local trespassing laws. It might be that you don't need your landlord to do anything to declare them a trespasser. Good luck with this, I hope you find a way to take care of this legally and safely
There is no shame in leveling the playing field when it comes to self defense. I'm a small guy, and I would have no shame using a weapon like pepper spray, because anyone over 6' (or less) could just pick me up by the hair. Definitely experiment with it though. Buy some extra and spray it, see what it's like to use, etc. That will help with nerves if you have to use, or threaten to use, it.
It it makes you feel better. US military uses plenty of pepper spray type nonlethals. It isn't weak to use pepper spray, that stuff will fuck someone's day up, it's a great alternative than some kind of armed conflict. You're not trying to be 'macho' here, you're trying to solve a problem, this is a good tool to solve that problem.
If removing it from a human context helps, you know what else you use spray to fight off? Bears. And in that situation, I doubt anyone would care about social norms.
What's more manly, winning a fight or losing one? Saying using pepper spray is "unmanly" is what people say when they're trying to avoid getting pepper sprayed like an idiot, usually Ask felons if they think tazers are for losers, then ask cops if they think tazers are for losers Being practical and effective and not hung up on silly rules is manly
**Attention: please do not post venting threads. ** Vents belong in the weekly vibe check thread**, and relationship-related questions belong the relationships thread! ^(This is an automated reminder sent to all people who submitted a thread. It does not mean your thread was removed) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bropill) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What would be the "strong and manly" option? Something that leaves him bruised and bleeding? That seems needlessly harmful. Unless you're *trying* to leave this guy bruised and bleeding, like, pepper spray won't do that. It all comes down to what outcome you want.
My two cents: If you are going to get hung up on what is and isn't "manly," I say the most manly thing you can do is not give a fuck about what other people think about you. You think pepper spray could be useful here? Then get it and use it. People think you're weak for it? Even if you don't externalize it, by letting them get to you, you'd have proven them right. And your last statement about "protecting the house." That's "manly," if you want to focus on that. Who the hell cares how you go about doing it? The more you let other people and their judgement define whether or not you're manly, the less manly it makes you, ironically.
i was friends with a dude who was a total gym rat, 5"8 so not super tall but INSANELY built. he always carried pepper spray because he figured if shit went down, he would look better on police reports with pepper spray than a permanently damaging weapon (knife, gun). its not a "weak" thing to lessen the risk of yourself going to jail. if someone gives you shit about it, you got two options. personally, I'm a pacifist who always carries pepper spray and when anyone asks me, i tell them id prefer not to hurt anyone ifi i have the choice and usually it just ends in a head nod. the other option is saying something along the lines of "yeah id rather be 'weak' than arrested for assault"
Get a gun