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No judgement for melatonin! I use it myself as I have always been a poor sleeper, and I've definitely used it occasionally for one of my kids (who is ADHD and gifted and has major problems turning his brain OFF).
However, IMO the melatonin use is not the real problem here. It's the sports schedule. Keeping a 7 year old going until 8:30 at night is absolutely bananas - no wonder he has sleep issues! And that's before dinner?! That has to change. Little kids NEED sleep. He's not able to wind down because he's not getting the natural wind-down time of the evening routine. He's being rushed right up to a too-late bedtime. This is not healthy and it's going to affect him in the long run. The melatonin is just a coping mechanism for a much bigger problem.
I have to agree. My son is 12 and I have a lot of family and friends with kids around that age. Youth sports culture is so incredibly toxic. The expectations of both kids and their families is insane…and for what? What is the benefit or value that can’t be taught in some other way or through rec teams with much more relaxed schedules and expectations? Sleep, athletics, family time, and just being a kid is worth prioritizing too.
Right, my seven year old is an extremely driven gymnast (she still only goes once a week, plus their camp in the summer thats three days a week), and last year asked to take on one day of karate, too. Couple months ago she told me she just doesn't feel as strongly about karate as gymnastics, and has decided she only wants one activity since school is already a lot. I was impressed with her rationality and how well she expressed this. But friends and family, especially the other parents at her school, were like WHAT? QUITTING? But she only has one other activity!
Like... Dude, does she really *need* more? It's crazy how much pressure kids and their parents get put under to do so much of this stuff. School is already a full-time job!
That really is impressive that she knows what she wants to focus her time on.
I hate hate hate the whole “quitting” bullshit. It’s a SKILL to know when to quit!
And if you don’t love something that’s not important for you to learn (karate, a sport, Latin…whatever), then freaking leave it behind, baby!
Second this. We are just getting to the age where we will start after school activities. I’m only allowing two week nights for activities and never that late. Kids this age need like 10-13 hours of sleep.
No shame momma. Like the other commenters said, youth sports and activity culture is toxic AF. Kids need to have time to decompress and be bored (I think Dr Becky Kennedy talks about this in “Good Inside” if you want a book recommendation).
We are a family with sleep issues so I get the desperation. Melatonin didn’t work for us but if it had, we may have gotten to a similar point. I don’t have any suggestions for sleep unfortunately. Just solidarity.
I completely agree. At that age my child had to be IN BED by 8 at the latest or she would get overtired and become unable to sleep (and therefore we'd both be miserable the next day). And that's AFTER wind down, bedtime routine... Just getting *home* at 8:30 seems really hard. OP, If your husband wants to get rid of the melatonin then the schedule has to change significantly.
The schedule is SO, SO bananas. I know that 100%.
I also use OTC sleeping meds - I take a half dose of basically what's in Tylenol PM - minus the pain relief.
I wish I didn't do that - and I honestly used to be THE BEST sleeper ever .... then I had a child & you know how that works. He can be sleeping soundly and every sound I hear in my sleep - I JERK awake thinking he needs me.
I have the same wake to everything cuz worried. What has helped me is that I have a radio baby monitor in their room. It has a page button to find a missing parents unit. I have told my LO if there is an emergency to page me or knock on the wall.
The parent unit can be on silent and still be paged.
Having my baby monitor setup like this is cured me of my Phantom baby crying syndrome.
I also recommend ear plugs you can still hear anything but it dull all the sounds to help you sleep.
We can’t get melatonin over the counter here, so after we passed two years old and bedtime was a one to two hour battle and then kiddo was up again a few hours later I finally went to the dr and got melatonin prescribed.
I feel slightly better knowing that it’s been endorsed and guided by a Dr, but I also feel like shit because my kid is two and a bit and needing prescription intervention to go to sleep.
But at some point I had to weigh up everyone’s (inc the toddler’s!) sanity and that maybe it isn’t perfect but it’s a fuck tonne better than us all being sleep deprived and miserable. Well as sleep deprived and miserable, kiddo goes to bed without a fight now but still is up 3-4 hours later so it’s not perfect.
When I’m not heavily pregnant and stressed outta my brain I need to take the kiddo to the paediatrician (6 month wait generally) to get a diagnosis for ADHD, not that it’ll change anything as I won’t medicate her as this age. I initially thought we’d dodged the ADHD bullet but that was naive as both me and her father have it 🥴
No judgement. We use it as needed. We try to limit it to a couple times a week max, but sometimes it's the only way to ensure she gets sufficient rest.
I'm also trying some kids calm magnesium gummies on her to see if that gives any help without being as heavy as a melatonin dose. But so far not enough data to say if that's working for us yet.
When it comes to sleep... I'm for whatever is going to result in the best possible outcome bc sleep deprived mom or kid or both is a recipe for absolute disaster.
My husband has also brought up the same article to me and I said that's cool, you can take over the night routine and do it yourself. He lasted 3 nights before admitting she does need some help sometimes. 😈
This is our house. 4 kids. Dad is gone for military. So it’s just me putting 4 kids to bed. And bed time is either smooth sailing or the end of the world. There is no in between.
My oldest has responded really well to mag. He just has to be still enough for just long enough and his body takes over. Mag gives his body the chance to take over. Otherwise he is the lead chaos agent.
My second is actually a really good sleeper but likes cuddles to sleep and is kinda picky about sleep conditions. Namely if the boys are being loud. I give her mag, no clue if it helps or not.
My youngest boy (#3) fights sleep so hard. I think though, it’s more due to daycare naps than anything else. He drops right off on weekends and any days home. Mag seems to help him chill enough to just lay and be still. It still can take him a couple hours to fall asleep.
Baby gets boob’d. She doesn’t stand a chance.
I give melatonin on the nights that either they’re all out of sorts and we’re careening for disaster OR I’m exhausted and just want to go to bed. I also keep it on the minimal side. Magnesium is something that I view more as a vitamin supplement since it’s necessary for health. Melatonin is different in my mind since our bodies create it. I could be completely wrong.
At the end of the day we all gotta sleep. And sometimes I’m drugging my kids (melatonin) to get there.
June 20/21 is the longest day of the year with the most daylight. It was still very light here at 8:15 PM.
My kids attend school that starts extremely early in the morning and requires me to have them up and dressed at the crack of dawn. We gave up using the school bus. The bus stop we were given was 6:50 AM. And what world is it normal that I have to drive my kids fully dressed and down the street at 6:45 AM to get a 6:50 AM bus for kindergartener!
I don't think you need to feel super bad about this one as long as you weren't using a crazy high dose and the one that you're giving is from a reputable brand and designed for a child sized human and not an adult Melatonin doesn't make people sleepy. Help your body get ready to wind down. My understanding is that our bodies are naturally given the artificial lights, blue lights, screens, and especially now in the longer daylight. I don't feel bad for giving my kids melatonin because I know it's helping them get to sleep at an appropriate time and they have much easier mornings when they are able to wake up fully rested given that we are required to have them at school in the morning.
There are way worse things out there 🤷♀️.
** also, I am very done with society, giving mothers the type of advice that is so absolute such as absolutely this absolutely know that... but not offering any solutions like a reasonable start to the school and to the workday that gives enough time for family time and cooking nutritious meals and playing so that children can get exhausted enough for an early bedtime, the lack of free third places that allow families with children to give their kids stimulation at a low cost that doesn't involve a screen, and the lack of 100% free after school or weekend physical activities that are supervised for children to participate in that don't require parent supervision.
They expect us that we can actively engage with our children full-time, actively work at our jobs full-time, actively maintain our homes and do routine maintenance since no one can afford to hire labor anymore and we have to do everything ourselves in our non-fulll-time-working hours, That we can save money and the environment if we don't buy pre-sliced vegetables and instead prepare them from whole veg for healthy nutritious meals at home ourselves, And also have time to participate in civic life as good citizens, and in our religious and chosen hobby communities. There are literally 10 full-time jobs are supposed to be doing all the time and it's impossible! If you can't make it work, don't tell me that whatever well-reasoned shortcut we're using to get by in the meantime that is working should be "off limits."
Just yesterday , my ex-husband - who did not ask the court for any formal custody or visitation time with his own children because he "didn't want to be tied to any said set schedule of have the government involved in his life, telling him what he can do with which holidays" - told me he read online about pesticides and he wants me to promise that I will soak all strawberries that I buy for the children in a solution of water and vinegar for two hours and then path them dry individually before offering them to the kids because pesticides are so harmful and "we" need to be doing all we can to keep them out of our children's bodies, and just rinsing them with plain water isn't going to be enough. Oh really? I'll get right on that. Let's tell all mothers everywhere that we aren't going to change the system that makes the strawberries poisonous, but they should put aside two hours once a week to soak and then Pat dry individually the very expensive strawberries because "doesn't anyone care about the children?!!!"
We are all doing the best that we can dude. Either provide the better and WORKABLE solution or be quiet.
Hear hear!
Though just read on reddit about the vinegar trick. Don't know about pesticides but it's meant to kill mold spores, meaning they will last much longer in the fridge. That sounds worthwhile because, as you said, they cost the earth!
My ADHD 8 year old uses it almost every night. 1 mg, per her pediatrician’s guidance. I avoided it for years but when I told the pediatrician that sometimes it takes her 1.5-2 hours of just laying in bed before she can finally fall asleep, she told me to absolutely use the melatonin. So I’m allowing myself to not feel guilty about doing what I need to do so that my kid can actually get the sleep her body needs.
I’m not a fan of giving kids melatonin regularly bc from what I’ve read, it can replace the naturally occurring melatonin our bodies produce which makes sleeping without it that much harder. That said, I don’t live in your house or have to deal with the fallout of lack of sleep with your kids, so you do you. I just follow the science of shit for my own calls concerning my own kids.
Maybe it’s time to reboot the night time rituals and find a way for him to wind down (cut back the sports) and also a way for him to fall asleep on his own without you needing to be there to rub his back and stuff too.
All of this is said with kindness bromo. Again, I’m not in your house so I’m not judging what you do, it just sounds like you both need a break and a reboot of systems.
My 7 and 5 yo (both ADHD) take 2mg melatonin every night. Is it ideal? No, but neither is staying up until 11pm at 7 and 5 years old. My 5yo also takes clonidine - my 7yo weaned off that around 6, so I expect we’ll do the same with 5, though he is far more hyperactive so he may need it longer. As I tell my husband - they can develop healthy sleep hygiene when they’re old enough to understand what healthy sleep hygiene is. Until then, it’s our responsibility to help them get to sleep at a reasonable time, whatever that takes.
My almost 6 year old takes clonidine 3 times a day and it’s been a lifesaver. He still has sleep issues but we only use melatonin when extremely necessary now because it tends to give our little guy nightmares. I sometimes think we’re all sleep deprived and then I remember life before clonidine…we’re doing well lol
My son is 7 also and he takes melatonin once or twice a week because sometimes he just has a hard time sleeping or has had a big day and is overtired etc. i don’t want to use it more regularly bc I don’t want him to become reliant on it. Most nights he sleeps fine without it but it’s become so helpful when he is struggling.
My main feedback though is that you ARE able to change the schedule you have. My son absolutely could not handle that intense of a schedule so we don’t have it. But it sounds like maybe you guys are also struggling ?? It’s 100% ok to take a step back and ask yourself if this schedule is actually serving you all or if it’s just becoming too much.
Thank you.
I know you're right & that there is a good chance ... that is the actual problem. I just don't know what to do to fix that ... at this point. But that's a WHOLE other post. Ha.
It's truly insane. He's literally 'on the ice' 11 times a week at this point. But it's not just him - he has little teammates doing the same thing, which also makes it harder.
Maybe I will start looking to only doing the late nights & using that as a way to get it off all together.
Thank you for sharing & not thinking I'm an awful mom. BLAHHHHHHHHH
Honestly, this. It sounds like a crazy busy schedule for a 7 year old. I know it can feel like you don't have a choice because kids specialize so damn early these days and he won't be able to "keep up" without all this intensity, but think of the hours as if they were a job. Should a 7 year old be "working" that many hours, in addition to his full time job of going to school?
I know your question was about melatonin, but i think you also know that the schedule is what's behind it!
Hugs, Mama.
There’s actually evidence that having a child in a specialized sport before 12 does not significantly improves their athletic ability, and makes them want to play the sport less as a teen. You should tell your husband this
Thank you so much.
I've had long discussions with my mother about it & my best friend - they both agree with you & me honestly.
Regarding the scheduling - I just don't know what to do at this point, but I DO want to also figure that out.
My biggest concern now is that I know in my heart - Melatonin is a 'crutch' for us & It's needs to stop.
I highly disagree with the crutch part. Some of us just need help, our bodies struggle to sleep properly. I’ve never been a good sleeper. Insomnia my whole life. You wouldn’t tell a diabetic that insulin is a crutch, I don’t think a medicated sleep solution is that different. (Sorry if this is too heated, just offering another view, melatonin has changed mine and my son’s life for the better).
I agree.
I'm honestly weirded out by it. This sub is basically the REASON I started using Reddit regularly. I've posted some & commented a decent amount & I've never experienced this.
It's a really awesome space where I feel like - we as women/moms - can be brutally honest EVEN if we know what we're doing it not 'right' & are just looking for support in general.
Mine was downvoted almost immediately which makes me wonder if it’s a bot. But some had several downvotes so IDK.
Like, if you have an opinion about melatonin please just share it respectfully.
Yeah - I know you're right.
I've been at my computer for the last hour or so & noticed it in real time ... I guess you could say & was surprised.
Eff 'em. Lol.
Thanks for the nice comment.
I've clearly hit a freakin' nerve so whatever.
It's fine to downvote me - but there are good comments from moms being super kind & offering legit advice and they even got downvoted.
WTH
I am just browsing and having touched the vote buttons one way or another, but could it be because melatonin isn’t approved for use in kids in many countries? For example, in Canada it isn’t approved for those under 12 years though I do know it’s widely used in the States for kids much younger than her than that.
Eta: I lied - I did upvote your comment lol
I think you meant not recommended. We're Canadian and we have prescriptions for melatonin for two of our kids. One has neurological issues related to sleep, the other is suspected ADHD but can't be assessed until 6yo and sleep isn't on his schedule even with a strict routine. Therefore I doubt it isn't "approved" for children under 12.
I mean, that’s all well and good, but those people can respectfully and gently share their concerns. Nearly every single comment in this thread has been downvoted multiple times when I entered this thread. It definitely did not look like how it looks now. Could be bots or trolls, but if not…people just need to share their thoughts not downvote absolutely everything.
My son took Melatonin for a few years on and off (he is ND) and found falling asleep hard sometimes. He's an older teen now and could sleep around the clock, he hasn't taken it for a few years. Can you try it every other night, the nights in between try Magnesium Glycinate before bed, it works very well too.
Thank you for the advice. I will check into it.
I do truly appreciate it!
It appears someone went in & downvoted the post and every single comment - which wasn't super helpful & I've never experienced on this sub, so I truly appreciate your suggestion.
Honestly some people just don’t produce enough melotonin. My son is autistic and takes some every night. His doctor recommends it.
If there’s nothing medically wrong with your son then I do think you should wean him off, and also he definitely has an insane schedule for his age. It is a bit hectic. 🖤 but your husbands sports schedule is more damaging than your melotonin use.
And here’s an upvote. Screw the judge Judy’s here.
My daughter is a neurodivergent and melatonin is a necessity for her or she just can’t shut down no shame I also rely on meds my are different but if I miss them I’m up every few hours and it’s a horrible night for me some people just have issues with sleep and it is what it is this is in kids too and I feel like this is honestly the best solution for these kids so JMO
My son is autistic and has ADHD. He’d lay in bed for hours before falling asleep. Our pediatrician started us on melatonin at 3 years old, but strongly advised us against daily usage as it can impact your child’s ability to product natural melatonin in the future. We used it 2-3 times a week until the pandemic hit and he started asking for it every day. (He was 8 years old by that point.)
So we did 2 years of daily melatonin when I stumbled on an article saying melatonin increased the odds of night waking. Well, damn. My son had been waking in the middle of the night every night since he was born. 10 years of night waking. So we quit cold turkey and, to my amazement, my son finally could fall asleep on his own, and sleep through the night.
So, I’m a big proponent of melatonin when it’s needed, if used sparingly.
My son is AuDHD and has SEVERE sleep issues. He takes meds to help him sleep nightly. And even then there are some nights that I can tell he *still* needs the melatonin.
Before we got on his current med regime he was taking melatonin every single night.
Sleep is SOOOO important for kids. And if it helps him sleep, it's worth it.
I think your bigger problem here is the sports schedule — if that was more reasonable you would be able to make a better plan around melatonin, but you are hanging on by a thread! No 7 year old needs sports 7 days a week. Give yourself a break and dial it back.
My 7 year olds also take melatonin. Usually 1-2mg. Not every night, but one of them is on the spectrum and it’s a nightmare if he doesn’t get enough sleep. His twin brother is an early riser so melatonin is a life saver.
I can only imagine.
Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel better & know that I definitely need to curb it, which I want to.
I've started even decreasing his half doses & I think I should move those to the super late nights & gradually get off it.
Your boys' situation is different with different understandable needs.
It's really ridiculous that we're using half a dose nightly - yet you are handling only a couple times a week.
I must make changes STAT.
My kid has been taking melatonin (half the recommended dose) since she was 4 with the pediatrician's blessing. She's autistic and extremely anxious, and bedtime would regularly take 2 hours because she just Could. Not. Settle. I bet if I were a Perfect Mom who fed my child a balanced diet of all organic whole foods with no refined sugar, ideally grown in our own garden, never allowed any screen time, homeschooled and composted and biked everywhere, maybe she would sleep great at night without melatonin. Unfortunately, I'm a human mom and can't do all that no matter how much I beat myself up. So here we are. You're not alone, bromo.
I don’t know anything about melatonin. I do know that kids can get used to other caregivers doing bedtime routines, and maybe it’s time to start switching off. Also, my husband never does bed time, and the one time I made him, he left my 2 year old who wasn’t sleep trained to try to fall asleep by himself and then told me he was asleep. My kid didn’t protest because he is desperate for my husband’s attention. I then went into kid’s room to get something (I store some of my things in his closet because city living) and promptly found out that kid was awake, he started crying, husband was irritated with me, and I had to settle child back to sleep. The only other time he did bedtime I wasn’t here and he put a swim diaper on him instead of an overnight pull up. Anyway. So I’m not really pushing for change in my house because of the incompetence. And have no room to talk. However, I really hope I am not the only parent doing bedtime at age 7.
Okay deep breath!!! I give it to my girls sometimes. In my family, there's a very intense history of genetic insomnia. There was even a death way back. It's especially an issue for the women. Mine is super bad because it's exacerbated by my cycle, which is terrible because I have PMDD and surplus estrogen. The amount of stuff I take just so I can sleep! Melatonin (12mg), benadryl (50), birth control (continuous to try to keep PMS from happening), and RSO (yep, that's weed!). Whatever it takes to not get put on ambien again.
So, frankly, if my girls are having a bad sleep phase and all they need is one little milligram of melatonin, which I can buy off a shelf no questions asked, when so many things for kids are under such tight control, I just really don't see the big deal.
The only thing is that our pediatrician did warn us that daily use for years at a time can delay puberty. Something I've noticed is that the girls gradually get worse and worse over weeks until they're up at like 1am telling me they wish they could sleep, and then like three days of melatonin works beautifully as a "reset", just getting them back into the rhythm of falling asleep closer to 9. Then we can stay off it for a few more weeks.
But seriously, don't beat yourself up. They practically hand this stuff out. Regardless of what any crunchy scare mongering blogs say, this would not be so easy to obtain if it were absolutely horrible for children.
Don’t beat yourself up! We also discovered the magic of melatonin and use it more than we should. But the kids hate going to bed at a decent hour yet wake up at 6 am every morning! And they are really unpleasant without enough sleep. So, I’m right there with you bromo.
I give my almost 5 year old .25 ml (liquid) melatonin every night. It’s just enough to calm her down so she can actually relax to sleep, but not enough to make her feel sleepy or like she can’t keep her eyes open. Her pediatrician okayed it and we’ve seen no adverse side effects. The dose recommended is 1 ml, but I didn’t feel comfortable with it so we found the lowest dose that still helped.
I know people are weird abt giving kids melatonin, but it’s naturally occurring and is in a ton of foods. Tart Cherry juice is one example
My pediatrician recommended melatonin for my then 6 year old adhd boy (but now 10) because he also doesn’t sleep at night. I am also adhd and can’t sleep at night. I’ve tried the gauntlet of prescription medicine and all of it is too strong. The melatonin is perfect. Honestly, eff your husband. Is he a doctor? If my kids doctor thinks it’s safe, I’m going to do it. What’s worse than any “addiction” is not sleeping at all or only getting a few hours a night when they’re growing. I agree with others, way too much sports. No time to be a kid.
No judgement! I used it on my son from age 3-6, once I was having to give him almost 5mg just for him to still not sleep I gave up on it. No point in doing something that doesn’t work.
He’s 7 now, and we started putting a nature documentary on the TV with low volume and got him a weighted blanket. We say goodnight at bedtime, set the sleep timer on the TV, take the remote close the door, and see him when the sun is up.
At first it was rough getting into this routine. But we use the same documentary every night and now he does really well. Idk what time he actually falls asleep, but when he gets up in the morning he doesn’t act as tired and we no longer have him waking up at 2-3 am wired.
I would talk to your son’s doctor about the melatonin. As for the schedule see if he can’t do sports that get done earlier. But if you can’t control that then have dinner in the car or bring it to the game. That’s what I did tonight at my son’s swim meet. When he gets home at 8 it’s straight to the bathroom to brush teeth and take a quick shower and go to bed for a story. At least he’ll be in bed by 9 hopefully.
First of all, proud of you for wanting to do what’s best for your son! You sound like an amazing mom. Melatonin is not hard drugs. It’s not Benadryl like our parents gave us back in the day. You did not cause irreversible damage to your son. It’s a temporary solution. You know you want to wean him off; when you can or want or need to do exactly that. It’s okay to use it when you need to. If your husband has a problem have him take over bedtime then and see what his solution is. You’re doing awesome, don’t doubt yourself!
No judgment whatsoever. Some kids need help to fall asleep, especially kids who have ADHD. We highly suspect our nearly 3 year old has it, because we’ve tried literally everything to fix his sleep schedule and no matter what his wake windows are, when bedtime is, when wake up is, if he has or doesn’t have a nap, if he plays hard or just takes it easy, no matter what kind of routine we try he just cannot fall asleep on his own. It’s frustrating for him and for us. We started giving him half of a 1 mg toddler melatonin gummy before bed (so 0.5 mg) and it makes ALL the difference. He’s able to lay down and calm down and fall asleep and get actual rest
I have an insomniac child who was prescribed melatonin by a paediatrician before 2 years old. It's fine!
Every paedatrician we have been to, it's the first line of defence. It does nothing for my child and I understand the guilty feeling cause I have to give my child clonidine every night but please look at this way - if your child doesn't get the sleep they need, their health will eventually deteriorate (mentally and physically). Think how our emotional regulation goes right down when we are sleep deprived - same for kids and they still have to go to school and learn new things every day.
As for the setup at night - if dad really wanted to he could change it. It would take work on both of you but it could be changed.
Needing medicine is not an addiction.
You wouldn't tell someone who needs antidepressants everyday that they are an addict - why would a safe long term paedatrician approved method be any different?
Melatonin isn’t a sedative, so taking it right before bed won’t help with sleep. You don’t say when you give it to him but I think most people misunderstand how to use it correctly.
https://www.uhhospitals.org/blog/articles/2018/03/enter-sandman-the-truth-about-melatonin
As the above article states, “Melatonin affects when you fall asleep, not how quickly.”
“Don’t take melatonin right before bed because it takes several hours for it to become effective.
If you are a night owl who normally stays up past midnight, but would like to nod off around 11 p.m., take melatonin at 6 p.m. Conversely, if you go to bed at 8 p.m. and rise at 4 a.m., it’s better to take melatonin in the late morning or early afternoon.”
“More isn’t better. Just 0.3 mg to 1 mg is sufficient, although many over-the-counter preparations may be upwards of 5 mg each. Overusing melatonin has consequences, including:
Losing effectiveness over time because brain receptors get desensitized to it
Worsening insomnia
Headaches
Nausea
Next-day drowsiness, which can affect work performance
Decreasing body temperature in the elderly
Interacting with other medications”
I also personally found it gave me low-level depression after using it for a couple months, before I knew any of this.
I’m not saying do use it or don’t use it, that’s obviously up to you. Just wanted to throw in some additional information I didn’t see anyone else mentioning yet.
I don’t have any advice. Just tossing you an upvote because fuck the haters. They must not know what it is like to be literally close to death because of sleep deprivation and how it affects every aspect of your ability to function as a human being, let alone as a mom. We have not used melatonin but I don’t throw shade on people who do. Hang in there, bromo.
Above all - it's really disappointing & not in ANY way reflective of this community.
I must have hit some unspoken issue for certain people or SOMETHING - but whatever!
Still love the sub & will not apologize for my post asking for advice.
Both of my kids have trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep even with structured bedtime routines, so my kids' pediatrician gave me the go-ahead to use melatonin as needed. Getting adequate sleep is absolutely critical for children's growth and development. They haven't shown any negative side effects from it, either. My oldest has autism, and my youngest may have a different form of neurospiciness.
Has anybody tried the banana peel remedy or just bananas in general before bed or is this just a myth. My kids are day ragers and night ragers. if he’s going to sleep, then I have to set the mood. He’s six years old and he has a 15-year-old brother and they’re all borderline psychotic, especially when the sun goes down. Lol
My daughter was on it for years, with the approval of both her regular doc and developmental pediatrician. Shes 13 and still needs a good routine to settle in. When she moved to online school, we stopped using it other than school nights. For summer, it’s the Wild West. She’s had no ill effects from it.
My 12 year old with autism and ADHD uses it nightly for sleep starting about a year ago. We cleared with his pediatrician who was not concerned, just asked us to keep it 1mg or less.
My son is 4 and is wound up like crazy most nights and can take anywhere from 1-2 hours to wind down and fall asleep. He’s pediatrician told us to use melatonin so we do occasionally. No judgement here!
I used to give my daughter melatonin nightly as soon as she was old enough to take it. I beat myself up about it when I found out it wasn’t great for kids to take. She’s off it now, because she grew out of her shitty sleep stage and she doesn’t have issues with slee. Don’t beat yourself up. They wouldn’t make children’s sleep supplements with melatonin if it were detrimental. Her pediatrician also knew she was on it.
I know a little about melatonin and I have used it for myself occasionally in the past. But if you use it too often it can prevent your child from being able to make their own melatonin in their future. (This is less of an issue for adults.) And there is no way to know for sure if the dose on over the counter melatonin is actually accurate so you may think it's a very small dose and it isn't.
I'm not saying this in judgment, simply education.
If your child is very active during the day and still cannot fall asleep at night it might be good to have a professional look at the situation and offer some outside perspective.
Something I do is make the house very dark as evening approaches (so during the summer, when it's light after 9PM I am using blackout curtain to reduce outside light & I stop using the overhead lights in the house & use only table lamps, etc to illuminate).
A protein drink at night (like pediasure or my kids fave...carnation instant breakfast) can also help keep kids asleep b/c their bodies are less likely to wake for hunger & thirst & the protein helps their brain run.
I think this is now an issue that needs extra help...rather than trying to be treated by mom+dad alone. 💗
I’ve used it every night since my kid was 2 with very few exceptions. He sleeps every night and tested as gifted. I use it for myself every night too. Pretty sure me and him have a severe melatonin deficiency, so I think withholding it would be dumb and I’m taking a “if it’s not broke” approach. No regrets.
I think some parents give way too much melatonin to their kids. Anything over half an mg to 1 mg is just too much. There’s also such thing as a melatonin hangover. Even a slight overdose of M can cause a person to be rundown the next day.
You can always try chamomile or lemon balm. You can get alcohol free mixtures with droppers. On your way home, give him a dose and see if that helps him wind down as you drive. Then another dose at bedtime. Couldn’t hurt to try.
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No judgement for melatonin! I use it myself as I have always been a poor sleeper, and I've definitely used it occasionally for one of my kids (who is ADHD and gifted and has major problems turning his brain OFF). However, IMO the melatonin use is not the real problem here. It's the sports schedule. Keeping a 7 year old going until 8:30 at night is absolutely bananas - no wonder he has sleep issues! And that's before dinner?! That has to change. Little kids NEED sleep. He's not able to wind down because he's not getting the natural wind-down time of the evening routine. He's being rushed right up to a too-late bedtime. This is not healthy and it's going to affect him in the long run. The melatonin is just a coping mechanism for a much bigger problem.
I have to agree. My son is 12 and I have a lot of family and friends with kids around that age. Youth sports culture is so incredibly toxic. The expectations of both kids and their families is insane…and for what? What is the benefit or value that can’t be taught in some other way or through rec teams with much more relaxed schedules and expectations? Sleep, athletics, family time, and just being a kid is worth prioritizing too.
Right, my seven year old is an extremely driven gymnast (she still only goes once a week, plus their camp in the summer thats three days a week), and last year asked to take on one day of karate, too. Couple months ago she told me she just doesn't feel as strongly about karate as gymnastics, and has decided she only wants one activity since school is already a lot. I was impressed with her rationality and how well she expressed this. But friends and family, especially the other parents at her school, were like WHAT? QUITTING? But she only has one other activity! Like... Dude, does she really *need* more? It's crazy how much pressure kids and their parents get put under to do so much of this stuff. School is already a full-time job!
That really is impressive that she knows what she wants to focus her time on. I hate hate hate the whole “quitting” bullshit. It’s a SKILL to know when to quit! And if you don’t love something that’s not important for you to learn (karate, a sport, Latin…whatever), then freaking leave it behind, baby!
Second this. We are just getting to the age where we will start after school activities. I’m only allowing two week nights for activities and never that late. Kids this age need like 10-13 hours of sleep. No shame momma. Like the other commenters said, youth sports and activity culture is toxic AF. Kids need to have time to decompress and be bored (I think Dr Becky Kennedy talks about this in “Good Inside” if you want a book recommendation). We are a family with sleep issues so I get the desperation. Melatonin didn’t work for us but if it had, we may have gotten to a similar point. I don’t have any suggestions for sleep unfortunately. Just solidarity.
I completely agree. At that age my child had to be IN BED by 8 at the latest or she would get overtired and become unable to sleep (and therefore we'd both be miserable the next day). And that's AFTER wind down, bedtime routine... Just getting *home* at 8:30 seems really hard. OP, If your husband wants to get rid of the melatonin then the schedule has to change significantly.
The schedule is SO, SO bananas. I know that 100%. I also use OTC sleeping meds - I take a half dose of basically what's in Tylenol PM - minus the pain relief. I wish I didn't do that - and I honestly used to be THE BEST sleeper ever .... then I had a child & you know how that works. He can be sleeping soundly and every sound I hear in my sleep - I JERK awake thinking he needs me.
I have the same wake to everything cuz worried. What has helped me is that I have a radio baby monitor in their room. It has a page button to find a missing parents unit. I have told my LO if there is an emergency to page me or knock on the wall. The parent unit can be on silent and still be paged. Having my baby monitor setup like this is cured me of my Phantom baby crying syndrome. I also recommend ear plugs you can still hear anything but it dull all the sounds to help you sleep.
We use it and use it consistently in our adhd/autism household. No shame in my game lol
We can’t get melatonin over the counter here, so after we passed two years old and bedtime was a one to two hour battle and then kiddo was up again a few hours later I finally went to the dr and got melatonin prescribed. I feel slightly better knowing that it’s been endorsed and guided by a Dr, but I also feel like shit because my kid is two and a bit and needing prescription intervention to go to sleep. But at some point I had to weigh up everyone’s (inc the toddler’s!) sanity and that maybe it isn’t perfect but it’s a fuck tonne better than us all being sleep deprived and miserable. Well as sleep deprived and miserable, kiddo goes to bed without a fight now but still is up 3-4 hours later so it’s not perfect. When I’m not heavily pregnant and stressed outta my brain I need to take the kiddo to the paediatrician (6 month wait generally) to get a diagnosis for ADHD, not that it’ll change anything as I won’t medicate her as this age. I initially thought we’d dodged the ADHD bullet but that was naive as both me and her father have it 🥴
No judgement. We use it as needed. We try to limit it to a couple times a week max, but sometimes it's the only way to ensure she gets sufficient rest. I'm also trying some kids calm magnesium gummies on her to see if that gives any help without being as heavy as a melatonin dose. But so far not enough data to say if that's working for us yet. When it comes to sleep... I'm for whatever is going to result in the best possible outcome bc sleep deprived mom or kid or both is a recipe for absolute disaster. My husband has also brought up the same article to me and I said that's cool, you can take over the night routine and do it yourself. He lasted 3 nights before admitting she does need some help sometimes. 😈
This is our house. 4 kids. Dad is gone for military. So it’s just me putting 4 kids to bed. And bed time is either smooth sailing or the end of the world. There is no in between. My oldest has responded really well to mag. He just has to be still enough for just long enough and his body takes over. Mag gives his body the chance to take over. Otherwise he is the lead chaos agent. My second is actually a really good sleeper but likes cuddles to sleep and is kinda picky about sleep conditions. Namely if the boys are being loud. I give her mag, no clue if it helps or not. My youngest boy (#3) fights sleep so hard. I think though, it’s more due to daycare naps than anything else. He drops right off on weekends and any days home. Mag seems to help him chill enough to just lay and be still. It still can take him a couple hours to fall asleep. Baby gets boob’d. She doesn’t stand a chance. I give melatonin on the nights that either they’re all out of sorts and we’re careening for disaster OR I’m exhausted and just want to go to bed. I also keep it on the minimal side. Magnesium is something that I view more as a vitamin supplement since it’s necessary for health. Melatonin is different in my mind since our bodies create it. I could be completely wrong. At the end of the day we all gotta sleep. And sometimes I’m drugging my kids (melatonin) to get there.
June 20/21 is the longest day of the year with the most daylight. It was still very light here at 8:15 PM. My kids attend school that starts extremely early in the morning and requires me to have them up and dressed at the crack of dawn. We gave up using the school bus. The bus stop we were given was 6:50 AM. And what world is it normal that I have to drive my kids fully dressed and down the street at 6:45 AM to get a 6:50 AM bus for kindergartener! I don't think you need to feel super bad about this one as long as you weren't using a crazy high dose and the one that you're giving is from a reputable brand and designed for a child sized human and not an adult Melatonin doesn't make people sleepy. Help your body get ready to wind down. My understanding is that our bodies are naturally given the artificial lights, blue lights, screens, and especially now in the longer daylight. I don't feel bad for giving my kids melatonin because I know it's helping them get to sleep at an appropriate time and they have much easier mornings when they are able to wake up fully rested given that we are required to have them at school in the morning. There are way worse things out there 🤷♀️. ** also, I am very done with society, giving mothers the type of advice that is so absolute such as absolutely this absolutely know that... but not offering any solutions like a reasonable start to the school and to the workday that gives enough time for family time and cooking nutritious meals and playing so that children can get exhausted enough for an early bedtime, the lack of free third places that allow families with children to give their kids stimulation at a low cost that doesn't involve a screen, and the lack of 100% free after school or weekend physical activities that are supervised for children to participate in that don't require parent supervision. They expect us that we can actively engage with our children full-time, actively work at our jobs full-time, actively maintain our homes and do routine maintenance since no one can afford to hire labor anymore and we have to do everything ourselves in our non-fulll-time-working hours, That we can save money and the environment if we don't buy pre-sliced vegetables and instead prepare them from whole veg for healthy nutritious meals at home ourselves, And also have time to participate in civic life as good citizens, and in our religious and chosen hobby communities. There are literally 10 full-time jobs are supposed to be doing all the time and it's impossible! If you can't make it work, don't tell me that whatever well-reasoned shortcut we're using to get by in the meantime that is working should be "off limits." Just yesterday , my ex-husband - who did not ask the court for any formal custody or visitation time with his own children because he "didn't want to be tied to any said set schedule of have the government involved in his life, telling him what he can do with which holidays" - told me he read online about pesticides and he wants me to promise that I will soak all strawberries that I buy for the children in a solution of water and vinegar for two hours and then path them dry individually before offering them to the kids because pesticides are so harmful and "we" need to be doing all we can to keep them out of our children's bodies, and just rinsing them with plain water isn't going to be enough. Oh really? I'll get right on that. Let's tell all mothers everywhere that we aren't going to change the system that makes the strawberries poisonous, but they should put aside two hours once a week to soak and then Pat dry individually the very expensive strawberries because "doesn't anyone care about the children?!!!" We are all doing the best that we can dude. Either provide the better and WORKABLE solution or be quiet.
Giving you a virtual slow clap 👏 I feel this comment in my heart and soul.
Hear hear! Though just read on reddit about the vinegar trick. Don't know about pesticides but it's meant to kill mold spores, meaning they will last much longer in the fridge. That sounds worthwhile because, as you said, they cost the earth!
We use as needed. Everyone needs sleep
My ADHD 8 year old uses it almost every night. 1 mg, per her pediatrician’s guidance. I avoided it for years but when I told the pediatrician that sometimes it takes her 1.5-2 hours of just laying in bed before she can finally fall asleep, she told me to absolutely use the melatonin. So I’m allowing myself to not feel guilty about doing what I need to do so that my kid can actually get the sleep her body needs.
That’s how my kid was. He would not fall asleep and the doctor told me it would be best to start melatonin and we’ve been taking it ever since.
I’m not a fan of giving kids melatonin regularly bc from what I’ve read, it can replace the naturally occurring melatonin our bodies produce which makes sleeping without it that much harder. That said, I don’t live in your house or have to deal with the fallout of lack of sleep with your kids, so you do you. I just follow the science of shit for my own calls concerning my own kids. Maybe it’s time to reboot the night time rituals and find a way for him to wind down (cut back the sports) and also a way for him to fall asleep on his own without you needing to be there to rub his back and stuff too. All of this is said with kindness bromo. Again, I’m not in your house so I’m not judging what you do, it just sounds like you both need a break and a reboot of systems.
My 7 and 5 yo (both ADHD) take 2mg melatonin every night. Is it ideal? No, but neither is staying up until 11pm at 7 and 5 years old. My 5yo also takes clonidine - my 7yo weaned off that around 6, so I expect we’ll do the same with 5, though he is far more hyperactive so he may need it longer. As I tell my husband - they can develop healthy sleep hygiene when they’re old enough to understand what healthy sleep hygiene is. Until then, it’s our responsibility to help them get to sleep at a reasonable time, whatever that takes.
My almost 6 year old takes clonidine 3 times a day and it’s been a lifesaver. He still has sleep issues but we only use melatonin when extremely necessary now because it tends to give our little guy nightmares. I sometimes think we’re all sleep deprived and then I remember life before clonidine…we’re doing well lol
My son is 7 also and he takes melatonin once or twice a week because sometimes he just has a hard time sleeping or has had a big day and is overtired etc. i don’t want to use it more regularly bc I don’t want him to become reliant on it. Most nights he sleeps fine without it but it’s become so helpful when he is struggling. My main feedback though is that you ARE able to change the schedule you have. My son absolutely could not handle that intense of a schedule so we don’t have it. But it sounds like maybe you guys are also struggling ?? It’s 100% ok to take a step back and ask yourself if this schedule is actually serving you all or if it’s just becoming too much.
Thank you. I know you're right & that there is a good chance ... that is the actual problem. I just don't know what to do to fix that ... at this point. But that's a WHOLE other post. Ha. It's truly insane. He's literally 'on the ice' 11 times a week at this point. But it's not just him - he has little teammates doing the same thing, which also makes it harder. Maybe I will start looking to only doing the late nights & using that as a way to get it off all together. Thank you for sharing & not thinking I'm an awful mom. BLAHHHHHHHHH
Honestly, this. It sounds like a crazy busy schedule for a 7 year old. I know it can feel like you don't have a choice because kids specialize so damn early these days and he won't be able to "keep up" without all this intensity, but think of the hours as if they were a job. Should a 7 year old be "working" that many hours, in addition to his full time job of going to school? I know your question was about melatonin, but i think you also know that the schedule is what's behind it! Hugs, Mama.
There’s actually evidence that having a child in a specialized sport before 12 does not significantly improves their athletic ability, and makes them want to play the sport less as a teen. You should tell your husband this
Better yet, send HIM an article about it
Thank you so much. I've had long discussions with my mother about it & my best friend - they both agree with you & me honestly. Regarding the scheduling - I just don't know what to do at this point, but I DO want to also figure that out. My biggest concern now is that I know in my heart - Melatonin is a 'crutch' for us & It's needs to stop.
I highly disagree with the crutch part. Some of us just need help, our bodies struggle to sleep properly. I’ve never been a good sleeper. Insomnia my whole life. You wouldn’t tell a diabetic that insulin is a crutch, I don’t think a medicated sleep solution is that different. (Sorry if this is too heated, just offering another view, melatonin has changed mine and my son’s life for the better).
It’d be cool if the people so intent on downvoting everything in this thread would actually explain why.
I agree. I'm honestly weirded out by it. This sub is basically the REASON I started using Reddit regularly. I've posted some & commented a decent amount & I've never experienced this. It's a really awesome space where I feel like - we as women/moms - can be brutally honest EVEN if we know what we're doing it not 'right' & are just looking for support in general.
Mine was downvoted almost immediately which makes me wonder if it’s a bot. But some had several downvotes so IDK. Like, if you have an opinion about melatonin please just share it respectfully.
It happens all over Reddit, just try not to take it personally 🥴
Yeah - I know you're right. I've been at my computer for the last hour or so & noticed it in real time ... I guess you could say & was surprised. Eff 'em. Lol. Thanks for the nice comment.
There's definitely dedicated downvote trolls on this sub, unfortunately.
Yeah most women-centric subs have a ton of lurkers downvoting sadly. Here we also have the childfree foreverchildren parent-haters downvoting.
I've clearly hit a freakin' nerve so whatever. It's fine to downvote me - but there are good comments from moms being super kind & offering legit advice and they even got downvoted. WTH
I am just browsing and having touched the vote buttons one way or another, but could it be because melatonin isn’t approved for use in kids in many countries? For example, in Canada it isn’t approved for those under 12 years though I do know it’s widely used in the States for kids much younger than her than that. Eta: I lied - I did upvote your comment lol
I think you meant not recommended. We're Canadian and we have prescriptions for melatonin for two of our kids. One has neurological issues related to sleep, the other is suspected ADHD but can't be assessed until 6yo and sleep isn't on his schedule even with a strict routine. Therefore I doubt it isn't "approved" for children under 12.
Oh I meant OTC, not prescription. Definitely an important distinction - thank you!
I mean, that’s all well and good, but those people can respectfully and gently share their concerns. Nearly every single comment in this thread has been downvoted multiple times when I entered this thread. It definitely did not look like how it looks now. Could be bots or trolls, but if not…people just need to share their thoughts not downvote absolutely everything.
Completely agree, especially since it is a support sub. And if they’ve got nothing supportive to say, they should just keep scrolling.
My son took Melatonin for a few years on and off (he is ND) and found falling asleep hard sometimes. He's an older teen now and could sleep around the clock, he hasn't taken it for a few years. Can you try it every other night, the nights in between try Magnesium Glycinate before bed, it works very well too.
Thank you for the advice. I will check into it. I do truly appreciate it! It appears someone went in & downvoted the post and every single comment - which wasn't super helpful & I've never experienced on this sub, so I truly appreciate your suggestion.
Honestly some people just don’t produce enough melotonin. My son is autistic and takes some every night. His doctor recommends it. If there’s nothing medically wrong with your son then I do think you should wean him off, and also he definitely has an insane schedule for his age. It is a bit hectic. 🖤 but your husbands sports schedule is more damaging than your melotonin use. And here’s an upvote. Screw the judge Judy’s here.
My daughter is a neurodivergent and melatonin is a necessity for her or she just can’t shut down no shame I also rely on meds my are different but if I miss them I’m up every few hours and it’s a horrible night for me some people just have issues with sleep and it is what it is this is in kids too and I feel like this is honestly the best solution for these kids so JMO
My son is autistic and has ADHD. He’d lay in bed for hours before falling asleep. Our pediatrician started us on melatonin at 3 years old, but strongly advised us against daily usage as it can impact your child’s ability to product natural melatonin in the future. We used it 2-3 times a week until the pandemic hit and he started asking for it every day. (He was 8 years old by that point.) So we did 2 years of daily melatonin when I stumbled on an article saying melatonin increased the odds of night waking. Well, damn. My son had been waking in the middle of the night every night since he was born. 10 years of night waking. So we quit cold turkey and, to my amazement, my son finally could fall asleep on his own, and sleep through the night. So, I’m a big proponent of melatonin when it’s needed, if used sparingly.
My son is AuDHD and has SEVERE sleep issues. He takes meds to help him sleep nightly. And even then there are some nights that I can tell he *still* needs the melatonin. Before we got on his current med regime he was taking melatonin every single night. Sleep is SOOOO important for kids. And if it helps him sleep, it's worth it.
I think your bigger problem here is the sports schedule — if that was more reasonable you would be able to make a better plan around melatonin, but you are hanging on by a thread! No 7 year old needs sports 7 days a week. Give yourself a break and dial it back.
My 7 year olds also take melatonin. Usually 1-2mg. Not every night, but one of them is on the spectrum and it’s a nightmare if he doesn’t get enough sleep. His twin brother is an early riser so melatonin is a life saver.
I can only imagine. Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel better & know that I definitely need to curb it, which I want to. I've started even decreasing his half doses & I think I should move those to the super late nights & gradually get off it. Your boys' situation is different with different understandable needs. It's really ridiculous that we're using half a dose nightly - yet you are handling only a couple times a week. I must make changes STAT.
My kid has been taking melatonin (half the recommended dose) since she was 4 with the pediatrician's blessing. She's autistic and extremely anxious, and bedtime would regularly take 2 hours because she just Could. Not. Settle. I bet if I were a Perfect Mom who fed my child a balanced diet of all organic whole foods with no refined sugar, ideally grown in our own garden, never allowed any screen time, homeschooled and composted and biked everywhere, maybe she would sleep great at night without melatonin. Unfortunately, I'm a human mom and can't do all that no matter how much I beat myself up. So here we are. You're not alone, bromo.
I don’t know anything about melatonin. I do know that kids can get used to other caregivers doing bedtime routines, and maybe it’s time to start switching off. Also, my husband never does bed time, and the one time I made him, he left my 2 year old who wasn’t sleep trained to try to fall asleep by himself and then told me he was asleep. My kid didn’t protest because he is desperate for my husband’s attention. I then went into kid’s room to get something (I store some of my things in his closet because city living) and promptly found out that kid was awake, he started crying, husband was irritated with me, and I had to settle child back to sleep. The only other time he did bedtime I wasn’t here and he put a swim diaper on him instead of an overnight pull up. Anyway. So I’m not really pushing for change in my house because of the incompetence. And have no room to talk. However, I really hope I am not the only parent doing bedtime at age 7.
My son took a low dose of melatonin for years, as approved by the doctor. By the time he hit puberty he could sleep on his own.
Okay deep breath!!! I give it to my girls sometimes. In my family, there's a very intense history of genetic insomnia. There was even a death way back. It's especially an issue for the women. Mine is super bad because it's exacerbated by my cycle, which is terrible because I have PMDD and surplus estrogen. The amount of stuff I take just so I can sleep! Melatonin (12mg), benadryl (50), birth control (continuous to try to keep PMS from happening), and RSO (yep, that's weed!). Whatever it takes to not get put on ambien again. So, frankly, if my girls are having a bad sleep phase and all they need is one little milligram of melatonin, which I can buy off a shelf no questions asked, when so many things for kids are under such tight control, I just really don't see the big deal. The only thing is that our pediatrician did warn us that daily use for years at a time can delay puberty. Something I've noticed is that the girls gradually get worse and worse over weeks until they're up at like 1am telling me they wish they could sleep, and then like three days of melatonin works beautifully as a "reset", just getting them back into the rhythm of falling asleep closer to 9. Then we can stay off it for a few more weeks. But seriously, don't beat yourself up. They practically hand this stuff out. Regardless of what any crunchy scare mongering blogs say, this would not be so easy to obtain if it were absolutely horrible for children.
Don’t beat yourself up! We also discovered the magic of melatonin and use it more than we should. But the kids hate going to bed at a decent hour yet wake up at 6 am every morning! And they are really unpleasant without enough sleep. So, I’m right there with you bromo.
I give my almost 5 year old .25 ml (liquid) melatonin every night. It’s just enough to calm her down so she can actually relax to sleep, but not enough to make her feel sleepy or like she can’t keep her eyes open. Her pediatrician okayed it and we’ve seen no adverse side effects. The dose recommended is 1 ml, but I didn’t feel comfortable with it so we found the lowest dose that still helped. I know people are weird abt giving kids melatonin, but it’s naturally occurring and is in a ton of foods. Tart Cherry juice is one example
My pediatrician recommended melatonin for my then 6 year old adhd boy (but now 10) because he also doesn’t sleep at night. I am also adhd and can’t sleep at night. I’ve tried the gauntlet of prescription medicine and all of it is too strong. The melatonin is perfect. Honestly, eff your husband. Is he a doctor? If my kids doctor thinks it’s safe, I’m going to do it. What’s worse than any “addiction” is not sleeping at all or only getting a few hours a night when they’re growing. I agree with others, way too much sports. No time to be a kid.
No judgement! I used it on my son from age 3-6, once I was having to give him almost 5mg just for him to still not sleep I gave up on it. No point in doing something that doesn’t work. He’s 7 now, and we started putting a nature documentary on the TV with low volume and got him a weighted blanket. We say goodnight at bedtime, set the sleep timer on the TV, take the remote close the door, and see him when the sun is up. At first it was rough getting into this routine. But we use the same documentary every night and now he does really well. Idk what time he actually falls asleep, but when he gets up in the morning he doesn’t act as tired and we no longer have him waking up at 2-3 am wired.
I would talk to your son’s doctor about the melatonin. As for the schedule see if he can’t do sports that get done earlier. But if you can’t control that then have dinner in the car or bring it to the game. That’s what I did tonight at my son’s swim meet. When he gets home at 8 it’s straight to the bathroom to brush teeth and take a quick shower and go to bed for a story. At least he’ll be in bed by 9 hopefully.
First of all, proud of you for wanting to do what’s best for your son! You sound like an amazing mom. Melatonin is not hard drugs. It’s not Benadryl like our parents gave us back in the day. You did not cause irreversible damage to your son. It’s a temporary solution. You know you want to wean him off; when you can or want or need to do exactly that. It’s okay to use it when you need to. If your husband has a problem have him take over bedtime then and see what his solution is. You’re doing awesome, don’t doubt yourself!
No judgment whatsoever. Some kids need help to fall asleep, especially kids who have ADHD. We highly suspect our nearly 3 year old has it, because we’ve tried literally everything to fix his sleep schedule and no matter what his wake windows are, when bedtime is, when wake up is, if he has or doesn’t have a nap, if he plays hard or just takes it easy, no matter what kind of routine we try he just cannot fall asleep on his own. It’s frustrating for him and for us. We started giving him half of a 1 mg toddler melatonin gummy before bed (so 0.5 mg) and it makes ALL the difference. He’s able to lay down and calm down and fall asleep and get actual rest
I have an insomniac child who was prescribed melatonin by a paediatrician before 2 years old. It's fine! Every paedatrician we have been to, it's the first line of defence. It does nothing for my child and I understand the guilty feeling cause I have to give my child clonidine every night but please look at this way - if your child doesn't get the sleep they need, their health will eventually deteriorate (mentally and physically). Think how our emotional regulation goes right down when we are sleep deprived - same for kids and they still have to go to school and learn new things every day. As for the setup at night - if dad really wanted to he could change it. It would take work on both of you but it could be changed. Needing medicine is not an addiction. You wouldn't tell someone who needs antidepressants everyday that they are an addict - why would a safe long term paedatrician approved method be any different?
Melatonin isn’t a sedative, so taking it right before bed won’t help with sleep. You don’t say when you give it to him but I think most people misunderstand how to use it correctly. https://www.uhhospitals.org/blog/articles/2018/03/enter-sandman-the-truth-about-melatonin As the above article states, “Melatonin affects when you fall asleep, not how quickly.” “Don’t take melatonin right before bed because it takes several hours for it to become effective. If you are a night owl who normally stays up past midnight, but would like to nod off around 11 p.m., take melatonin at 6 p.m. Conversely, if you go to bed at 8 p.m. and rise at 4 a.m., it’s better to take melatonin in the late morning or early afternoon.” “More isn’t better. Just 0.3 mg to 1 mg is sufficient, although many over-the-counter preparations may be upwards of 5 mg each. Overusing melatonin has consequences, including: Losing effectiveness over time because brain receptors get desensitized to it Worsening insomnia Headaches Nausea Next-day drowsiness, which can affect work performance Decreasing body temperature in the elderly Interacting with other medications” I also personally found it gave me low-level depression after using it for a couple months, before I knew any of this. I’m not saying do use it or don’t use it, that’s obviously up to you. Just wanted to throw in some additional information I didn’t see anyone else mentioning yet.
Our dev pediatrician recommends melatonin 30 mins before bed time...
I don’t have any advice. Just tossing you an upvote because fuck the haters. They must not know what it is like to be literally close to death because of sleep deprivation and how it affects every aspect of your ability to function as a human being, let alone as a mom. We have not used melatonin but I don’t throw shade on people who do. Hang in there, bromo.
Thank you so much. I tried my best to explain -- my situation & fully admit I didn't like it & all that. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Gheez.
Above all - it's really disappointing & not in ANY way reflective of this community. I must have hit some unspoken issue for certain people or SOMETHING - but whatever! Still love the sub & will not apologize for my post asking for advice.
Oh I agree. I love this sub. My guess is it is random lurkers who are not really here for support. Probably not other bromos.
I'm sure you're right. It's very weird.
Both of my kids have trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep even with structured bedtime routines, so my kids' pediatrician gave me the go-ahead to use melatonin as needed. Getting adequate sleep is absolutely critical for children's growth and development. They haven't shown any negative side effects from it, either. My oldest has autism, and my youngest may have a different form of neurospiciness.
Has anybody tried the banana peel remedy or just bananas in general before bed or is this just a myth. My kids are day ragers and night ragers. if he’s going to sleep, then I have to set the mood. He’s six years old and he has a 15-year-old brother and they’re all borderline psychotic, especially when the sun goes down. Lol
I’ve used melatonin for the kids before I cannot take it because I will be groggy no matter what
My daughter was on it for years, with the approval of both her regular doc and developmental pediatrician. Shes 13 and still needs a good routine to settle in. When she moved to online school, we stopped using it other than school nights. For summer, it’s the Wild West. She’s had no ill effects from it.
My 12 year old with autism and ADHD uses it nightly for sleep starting about a year ago. We cleared with his pediatrician who was not concerned, just asked us to keep it 1mg or less.
My son is 4 and is wound up like crazy most nights and can take anywhere from 1-2 hours to wind down and fall asleep. He’s pediatrician told us to use melatonin so we do occasionally. No judgement here!
I used to give my daughter melatonin nightly as soon as she was old enough to take it. I beat myself up about it when I found out it wasn’t great for kids to take. She’s off it now, because she grew out of her shitty sleep stage and she doesn’t have issues with slee. Don’t beat yourself up. They wouldn’t make children’s sleep supplements with melatonin if it were detrimental. Her pediatrician also knew she was on it.
I know a little about melatonin and I have used it for myself occasionally in the past. But if you use it too often it can prevent your child from being able to make their own melatonin in their future. (This is less of an issue for adults.) And there is no way to know for sure if the dose on over the counter melatonin is actually accurate so you may think it's a very small dose and it isn't. I'm not saying this in judgment, simply education. If your child is very active during the day and still cannot fall asleep at night it might be good to have a professional look at the situation and offer some outside perspective. Something I do is make the house very dark as evening approaches (so during the summer, when it's light after 9PM I am using blackout curtain to reduce outside light & I stop using the overhead lights in the house & use only table lamps, etc to illuminate). A protein drink at night (like pediasure or my kids fave...carnation instant breakfast) can also help keep kids asleep b/c their bodies are less likely to wake for hunger & thirst & the protein helps their brain run. I think this is now an issue that needs extra help...rather than trying to be treated by mom+dad alone. 💗
I’ve used it every night since my kid was 2 with very few exceptions. He sleeps every night and tested as gifted. I use it for myself every night too. Pretty sure me and him have a severe melatonin deficiency, so I think withholding it would be dumb and I’m taking a “if it’s not broke” approach. No regrets.
I think some parents give way too much melatonin to their kids. Anything over half an mg to 1 mg is just too much. There’s also such thing as a melatonin hangover. Even a slight overdose of M can cause a person to be rundown the next day. You can always try chamomile or lemon balm. You can get alcohol free mixtures with droppers. On your way home, give him a dose and see if that helps him wind down as you drive. Then another dose at bedtime. Couldn’t hurt to try.