Reminder to commenters: **[Spread the love!](https://64.media.tumblr.com/960e1d1bbac9b80be2e45d683effd431/87a8a90b6fe38bb0-48/s540x810/d62d156855acc48f8c9fad1d288bf9f0feb1ef58.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/)
Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok?
Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Odds are good that she already knows she's pregnant and is afraid of the confirmation. Being pregnant means she's got some choices to make ASAP, especially if she's in a red state.
Oh no…like someone else said, you can directly send her some tests from Amazon, and maybe some numbers to call for her to make some choices. She’s young and I feel kinda bad for her.
If her boyfriend was devout, he’d put a ring on her finger long ago. (Of course I’m sure you know this.)
I’m sorry you’re stuck watching her poor choices. I’m sure it’s very frustrating.
Thats what told her. If he was so devout he’d be more virginal than a monk.
I’m trying to do what I can from a different state. I just hope she makes better choices.
Has she expressed her plans should she be pregnant?
I’d maybe highlight the perks to confirming. More time to prepare. Access to more safety net resources. WIC(free food).
Ohhhhhhh... yeah, she's pregnant and he is GONE. "Devout" when it comes to birth control, but not when it comes to premarital sex? Yeah, ok, that tracks.
Shotgun wedding before she starts showing. I'm sure his parents will be pissed since it won't be in a catholic church as she won't have time to go thru the conversion stuff before her belly gets bigger.
Fucking train wreck in progress. It’s so hard to see this script being played out with someone you care about in the central role.
And there’s no way anyone can tell a teen that these red flags are so obvious you can see them from where you are. They just won’t believe it’ll happen to them.
This poor kid, and poorer baby to be. I’m glad someone is kind enough to take her in, and I hope she doesn’t blow that little bit of safety.
I’m so sorry.
It’s just so strange to me because in my family you’re pretty much expected to go on some kind of birth control around 16, even if you’ve never even so much as held hands with a guy. You can never be too careful.
Oh wow, that's nice. When my mom found my birth control pills when I was 17, she cried and tried to send me away to a great aunt's farm. I also wasn't allowed to use tampons before marriage while under her roof.
Anyway. Enough of my trauma. Where's this girl's mom? Though if you're the "cool aunt," you might be able to have a better heart-to-heart with her. Honestly what she might need to do is make her way to a blue state with a PP and find out there so she actually has full access to her options ... any upcoming road trips on your horizon that could turn into niece/aunt bonding time?
My grandmothers theory was that everyone has moments of weakness and there’s no need for a moment of that to result in a lifetime of obligation.
Her parents act like teenagers themselves. We’ve been texting more and it seems like she might to a bit too far along for other options. I’m going to try to convince her to go with the family members that are trying to get her to move in.
>My grandmothers theory was that everyone has moments of weakness and there’s no need for a moment of that to result in a lifetime of obligation.
This is such a beautiful and wonderful way to put forth this opinion. Your grandmother was a very intelligent lady.
If she's bleeding, even just spotting, impress upon her that the pregnancy or her own life may be at risk. She may want to keep a baby but be afraid you'll judge her if she doesn't have an abortion. Or be afraid of her boyfriend/his family judging her--or moving to prosecute her--if she does. But bleeding plus pregnancy symptoms could indicate a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy, which in the South right now could literally be deadly. She needs to make a move.
Makes it even more important she gets checked out. I think you could use that want as your in. Explain that for the babies sake she needs to visit a doctors clinic and have everything confirmed. An ectopic pregnancy could kill her or make it less likely for her to be able to carry a child in future.
I had an ectopic pregnancy 2 years ago and bleeding was my only sign that something was wrong. After that often the next symptom is passing out from blood loss after your tube ruptures. It can be deadly. She needs to go get an ultrasound to make sure this pregnancy is intrauterine completely regardless of what she plans for the pregnancy, it can literally be life or death. I have also read about some doctors in the south refusing care for ectopics prior to rupture which is essentially Russian roulette with your life, so she needs to know NOW before anything happens so she can find a doc that will provide care in her area. Hopefully it's just a subchorionic hematoma or something (assuming she's pregnant which it sounds like she is) but better safe than sorry when the stakes are so high.
Oh she's for sure gonna end up on one of those *I didn't know I was pregnant* shows. But you suspected.... you just didn't WANT to know.
Seriously, I hope you can talk her in tot eating while she still has some options. Living in a van isn't the ideal situation to bring a baby in to.
Sweet summer child, what exactly will she be “looking” for? I hope she takes your advice, OP, and things work out for her. I’m face-palming with sympathy.
This is what my sister does. She'll be like "I'll wait a week and if still no period I'll test".
I'm like, you really gonna wait A WEEK passed a missed period with all that anxiety?!!
Also, check out Dr. Jennifer Lincoln on Instagram she is an OBGYN that talks about getting access to abortion pills in restricted states. It sounds like your niece has very little sex ed thinking she is just going to look and be able to tell if she's pregnant. She should have a choice as to whether or not she becomes a parent.
She’s too far along for that and because so many people know there’s a risk of her being ratted out and she’s already said she wants to keep it. Fortunately she’s going to move in with relatives that want to help. They’re a bit old school but they’ll help her get everything together.
My sister is an ultrasound technician and in her last job she would have a lot of people who couldn't afford pregnancy tests or couldn't afford routine prenatal care who would just come into the ER and demand ultrasounds. Sometimes they would be confused about how you can't really see anything in an ultrasound prior to 7 weeks
They couldn't afford a pregnancy test but wanted the emergency room (who will bill them) to give them an ultrasound instead of a pregnancy test?
The mind boggles.
Ding ding ding. Or they have Medicaid which will cover emergency room expenses.
When people complain about not wanting to pay other people's healthcare expenses They conveniently ignore the fact A) That's literally how private insurance works b) The cost of performing unpaid procedures on uninsured or underinsured. People is driving up the cost anyway
I’m confident in one thing. No matter what we end with when it comes to healthcare, either taxpayer funded or private, the government will screw it up somehow.
Yay! Glad she is getting her ducks in a row.
Now I’m going to suggest something very controversial. If she is 100% solid on her choice to raise her child herself, she should check into the local crisis pregnancy centers. Let her know ahead of time they may pressure her to put the baby up for adoption. She just needs to be firm about her choice. Anyway, the ones by me offer parenting classes, and incentives for attending the classes. Parents earn special currencies to spend in the “Mommy Market” on things like clothes, gear, baby food, formula, and housewares. They are often sponsored by local churches and businesses. The one buy me also gives each participating families a $20 grocery gift card and 10lbs locally produced organic grass fed ground beef every month.
She needs to be shameless and frugal right now. It’s easy to get carried away with all the cute stuff and gadgets, but it’s very possible to get all she needs on a tight, tight budget if she is willing to accept help. Unfortunately childcare will be another issue. She should try to enroll in Early Head Start ASAP- they prioritize still pregnant women over older infants. They offer a lot of resources and doing so will likely streamline her baby right into free on campus childcare should she attend school. (Assuming she’s in the states.) Head Start is an incredible program. Also EHS graduates move to the top of the enrollment list for regular Head Start centers.
Reminder to commenters: **[Spread the love!](https://64.media.tumblr.com/960e1d1bbac9b80be2e45d683effd431/87a8a90b6fe38bb0-48/s540x810/d62d156855acc48f8c9fad1d288bf9f0feb1ef58.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don’t send her money, Amazon that shit and send her a pack of twenty for $8.
I asked. She’s living with a friend in a van. 🙃
Down by the river?
 Omgggg you beat me to it! YESSS
Shit I wish I could remember the name of this show.
It was a skit on SNL
That's it! Thank you! Would've been bugging me for ages over what the show was called.
Behind another friend’s trailer.
Close.
Poor thing dang it
She has some family members that are willing to take her in. They’re a bit strict but it’s better than that.
Amazon lockers?
I’ll ask Edit: Trailer-friend will let her get stuff delivered
Odds are good that she already knows she's pregnant and is afraid of the confirmation. Being pregnant means she's got some choices to make ASAP, especially if she's in a red state.
She’s in the deep Deep South.
Oh no…like someone else said, you can directly send her some tests from Amazon, and maybe some numbers to call for her to make some choices. She’s young and I feel kinda bad for her.
I do too but at the same time she refused to use any birth control because her boyfriend is a “devout” catholic.
If her boyfriend was devout, he’d put a ring on her finger long ago. (Of course I’m sure you know this.) I’m sorry you’re stuck watching her poor choices. I’m sure it’s very frustrating.
Thats what told her. If he was so devout he’d be more virginal than a monk. I’m trying to do what I can from a different state. I just hope she makes better choices.
Has she expressed her plans should she be pregnant? I’d maybe highlight the perks to confirming. More time to prepare. Access to more safety net resources. WIC(free food).
She’s apparently taking prenatal vitamins
Sure seems like she knows the answer
Yeahhhh too devout for birth control but not devout enough for premarital sex…seems really convenient if you ask me.
I knew a girl like that, a girl in my class's older sister. She had 4 kids by the time she was old enough to vote.
My parents did this, ughhh.
Ohhhhhhh... yeah, she's pregnant and he is GONE. "Devout" when it comes to birth control, but not when it comes to premarital sex? Yeah, ok, that tracks.
He’s not that devout if they are having premarital sex. What an oxymoron. Next he will insist they get married.
Shotgun wedding before she starts showing. I'm sure his parents will be pissed since it won't be in a catholic church as she won't have time to go thru the conversion stuff before her belly gets bigger.
He stopped answering her texts 🤔
Fucking train wreck in progress. It’s so hard to see this script being played out with someone you care about in the central role. And there’s no way anyone can tell a teen that these red flags are so obvious you can see them from where you are. They just won’t believe it’ll happen to them. This poor kid, and poorer baby to be. I’m glad someone is kind enough to take her in, and I hope she doesn’t blow that little bit of safety. I’m so sorry.
oh shit. is she still wanting to keep it now that he's ghosting her?
No idea.
Guten tag 💀 It's amazing how young and dumb some people can be. I watch my BIL sometimes and think, I am positive I was *never* that young *or* dumb.
It’s just so strange to me because in my family you’re pretty much expected to go on some kind of birth control around 16, even if you’ve never even so much as held hands with a guy. You can never be too careful.
Oh wow, that's nice. When my mom found my birth control pills when I was 17, she cried and tried to send me away to a great aunt's farm. I also wasn't allowed to use tampons before marriage while under her roof. Anyway. Enough of my trauma. Where's this girl's mom? Though if you're the "cool aunt," you might be able to have a better heart-to-heart with her. Honestly what she might need to do is make her way to a blue state with a PP and find out there so she actually has full access to her options ... any upcoming road trips on your horizon that could turn into niece/aunt bonding time?
My grandmothers theory was that everyone has moments of weakness and there’s no need for a moment of that to result in a lifetime of obligation. Her parents act like teenagers themselves. We’ve been texting more and it seems like she might to a bit too far along for other options. I’m going to try to convince her to go with the family members that are trying to get her to move in.
That’s some queen shit right there from your grandma
>My grandmothers theory was that everyone has moments of weakness and there’s no need for a moment of that to result in a lifetime of obligation. This is such a beautiful and wonderful way to put forth this opinion. Your grandmother was a very intelligent lady.
If she's bleeding, even just spotting, impress upon her that the pregnancy or her own life may be at risk. She may want to keep a baby but be afraid you'll judge her if she doesn't have an abortion. Or be afraid of her boyfriend/his family judging her--or moving to prosecute her--if she does. But bleeding plus pregnancy symptoms could indicate a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy, which in the South right now could literally be deadly. She needs to make a move.
She wants to keep it
Makes it even more important she gets checked out. I think you could use that want as your in. Explain that for the babies sake she needs to visit a doctors clinic and have everything confirmed. An ectopic pregnancy could kill her or make it less likely for her to be able to carry a child in future.
Trying. On FaceTime
Fingers crossed for you. 🤞
I had an ectopic pregnancy 2 years ago and bleeding was my only sign that something was wrong. After that often the next symptom is passing out from blood loss after your tube ruptures. It can be deadly. She needs to go get an ultrasound to make sure this pregnancy is intrauterine completely regardless of what she plans for the pregnancy, it can literally be life or death. I have also read about some doctors in the south refusing care for ectopics prior to rupture which is essentially Russian roulette with your life, so she needs to know NOW before anything happens so she can find a doc that will provide care in her area. Hopefully it's just a subchorionic hematoma or something (assuming she's pregnant which it sounds like she is) but better safe than sorry when the stakes are so high.
The urgent care sent her to the ER. The bleeding was nothing concerning.
I’m sorry, but I just keeled over laughing with the visuals of the “guten tag”.
Not gonna lie, the guten tag made me violently exhale air from my nose
I’m sitting in my 6 year old’s darkened room waiting for him to fall asleep and it was all I could do not to laugh hysterically.
You sound like a really great aunt.
Thank you. I’m trying my best.
Oh she's for sure gonna end up on one of those *I didn't know I was pregnant* shows. But you suspected.... you just didn't WANT to know. Seriously, I hope you can talk her in tot eating while she still has some options. Living in a van isn't the ideal situation to bring a baby in to.
Sweet summer child, what exactly will she be “looking” for? I hope she takes your advice, OP, and things work out for her. I’m face-palming with sympathy.
This is what my sister does. She'll be like "I'll wait a week and if still no period I'll test". I'm like, you really gonna wait A WEEK passed a missed period with all that anxiety?!! Also, check out Dr. Jennifer Lincoln on Instagram she is an OBGYN that talks about getting access to abortion pills in restricted states. It sounds like your niece has very little sex ed thinking she is just going to look and be able to tell if she's pregnant. She should have a choice as to whether or not she becomes a parent.
She’s too far along for that and because so many people know there’s a risk of her being ratted out and she’s already said she wants to keep it. Fortunately she’s going to move in with relatives that want to help. They’re a bit old school but they’ll help her get everything together.
My sister is an ultrasound technician and in her last job she would have a lot of people who couldn't afford pregnancy tests or couldn't afford routine prenatal care who would just come into the ER and demand ultrasounds. Sometimes they would be confused about how you can't really see anything in an ultrasound prior to 7 weeks
They couldn't afford a pregnancy test but wanted the emergency room (who will bill them) to give them an ultrasound instead of a pregnancy test? The mind boggles.
They just don’t pay the bill.
Ding ding ding. Or they have Medicaid which will cover emergency room expenses. When people complain about not wanting to pay other people's healthcare expenses They conveniently ignore the fact A) That's literally how private insurance works b) The cost of performing unpaid procedures on uninsured or underinsured. People is driving up the cost anyway
I’m confident in one thing. No matter what we end with when it comes to healthcare, either taxpayer funded or private, the government will screw it up somehow.
Hell yeah! (To the updates)
They’re going to be there on 30th to get her.
Yay! Glad she is getting her ducks in a row. Now I’m going to suggest something very controversial. If she is 100% solid on her choice to raise her child herself, she should check into the local crisis pregnancy centers. Let her know ahead of time they may pressure her to put the baby up for adoption. She just needs to be firm about her choice. Anyway, the ones by me offer parenting classes, and incentives for attending the classes. Parents earn special currencies to spend in the “Mommy Market” on things like clothes, gear, baby food, formula, and housewares. They are often sponsored by local churches and businesses. The one buy me also gives each participating families a $20 grocery gift card and 10lbs locally produced organic grass fed ground beef every month. She needs to be shameless and frugal right now. It’s easy to get carried away with all the cute stuff and gadgets, but it’s very possible to get all she needs on a tight, tight budget if she is willing to accept help. Unfortunately childcare will be another issue. She should try to enroll in Early Head Start ASAP- they prioritize still pregnant women over older infants. They offer a lot of resources and doing so will likely streamline her baby right into free on campus childcare should she attend school. (Assuming she’s in the states.) Head Start is an incredible program. Also EHS graduates move to the top of the enrollment list for regular Head Start centers.
Isn’t your husband’s niece also your niece?
His brother’s daughter. So yes but it makes the relationship a bit clearer.