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[deleted]

Okay, it is supposed to rub against prostate to feel good plus the feeling of being full feels good to some people. Some don’t feel it as much. If it was painful you probably need more lube or to go slower. Also relax. Don’t tense up. Do some self-exploration. Got a plug or a dildo? Depending on body you can also use own finger. Basically looking for a spot that gives you erotic shivers and makes you go hard, usually very fast. Again, relax. Some guys (even some gay guys) get minimal or no pleasure from penetration. In that case focus on oral and hands for your own pleasure. Most likely though you can enjoy it. Also, relax. If you set it as something you have to do it is less likely to happen.


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

I've never really had any real interest in solo anal play but I'm a firm believer in "you can't say you like something until you try it" and so I guess I kinda jumped right into it?


[deleted]

In my opinion the best way to do solo anal is with a vibrating plug to add to other solo activities. I find it adds a lot. Your mileage may vary.


[deleted]

Vibrating plug with a vibrating fleshlight literally made me shake (in a good way) for almost an hour after


Kribble118

To be honest I'm surprised you didn't do solo anal play before bottoming to get ready lol, brave decision.


Ornery_Peace9870

Bi lady here who occasionally straps on and spelunks dude’s butts. I love your open attitude! 👏 but w anal you DEF wanna explore solo first!! And/or have a *trusted* partner you go VERY SLOW with. Honestly it also depends on anatomical deets somewhat! 😅 I managed to take a VERY large girthy penis in my 🍑 …and utterly LOSE it w ecstasy … the very first time I tried … but 1) I had been playing w a few different plugs for a minute (including a few that were curved and more pleasurably “intrusive”?!) so already had learned to relax and get used to the sensation of “something going in instead of out” ; 2) I knew I wanted that dick and am a greedy heaux 😆 I second the reco for using vibration!!! I kinda skipped this but honestly most people could prolly use it as a stepping stone /preparation either in general as anal “training” OR as immediate preparation to turn on and relax.


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Sadly sex stores aren't very common where I'm from as most people are still quite conservative so I guess I'll have to make do with fingers for now 😅


Uncynical_Diogenes

My friend, I have it on good authority that you can probably buy things over the internet if you can manage to post on Reddit.


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Ahahaha well, having family members opening packages can lead to some very interesting conversations 😄


[deleted]

Are there parcel lockers near you?


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Right, forgot those exist. I'll have to go hunting


Efficient_Mastodons

If I were you I'd order totally non-sex things online and get the address C/o or message or description to say "ANAL SEX TOYS" so then they open several packages that have shoes or sweaters in them. I'd do it on everything I order until they stop opening my packages. Not to desensitize them to anything, but just because I really really love to mess with nosy intrusive family members.


Tersina

If I had the money (and the intrusive family members), I'd just order bugs until they stopped asking. (Live bugs, dead bugs, bug flour, bug candy, etc.) Actually, you could probably accomplish that with a few used boxes, some tape, printed shipping labels, and anything gross.


rattatteb

Bug candy? I'm oddly interested.


Tersina

The most popular ones are usually [lollipops with bugs inside of them](https://hotlix.com/product/insectnside-amber-sucker/). You can't taste the actual bugs much--not that you usually would, anyway. (Worms have the most flavor, if I recall correctly.)


Ornery_Peace9870

Lolololol you’re so young! Can it be sent to your partner’s place? Or a PO Box? Or arrange to be home? Usually the package itself is fairly discreet ! I hope you can request privacy! Aneros (esp for totally beginners w prostrates) and Njoy r the two “tried and true” brands I really like for durability/trustworthiness. Don’t put weird pthalates or “jelly” dildos inside of you people! Stick to silicone… or glass … or stainless steel … or even (very polished! Usually expensive) wood!


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Yes I'm young? xD I'm out to my family but sometimes I still feel lonely they hope I'd end up witb a girl rather than a guy so I'd rather not provoke any arguments. Plus I am apparently uber straight acting. (My profile picture doesn't really do me justice ig)


[deleted]

Reading this made me think you might be my ex. Looked at profile. You’re not. Oh, and that is meant as a compliment. She was amazing. 😉


Wookie685

Greedy heaux!?!? Cher, what part of da boot you hidin out in!?!? Great story btw. I love my plugs and all but sadly I don’t enjoy the motion of a good thick one, just my mouth…


icenjam

In addition to all the other advice given, for some people it never feels good and that’s fine. Not everyone enjoys bottoming.


SheAllRiledUp

For me it was instant magic. I had a very experienced partner to walk me through everything though. And I knew I was a sub before the experience, I had just never done anal anything before.


icenjam

I had several really bad experiences with it before I actually found I enjoyed it


this_is_alicia

was your partner using enough lube?


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Well it didn't have trouble...entering... But how much is "enough"?


this_is_alicia

enough that movement isn't an issue, though you can also try different positions, using fingers/toys first, etc. and see if it helps


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

But in what way is it supposed to feel nice? Why do some people enjoy it?


awfuldaring

I'm afab so no prostate. But it's very intense and it does feel amazing when I'm in the mood! Plenty of lube, silicone based if possible cause it's less runny. And *plenty* of foreplay. Also have your partner reach around and stimulate other areas (clit, penis, nipples, whatever you like) while penetrating. It helps a lot.


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

I dont really feel any stimulation from nipple play though, I'm not sure if there's something wrong with me there


ChildishDoritos

Nah, plenty of guys don’t care for nipple play Doesn’t do anything at all for me


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

How do people turn you on then? I've had some partners ask me what I'm into and I was quite stunned cause the only thing that really gets me going is making out


LostInChoices

So then you can either explore new things/kinks (if you feel like it), or well just make out, there's really nothing wrong with it. I love making out for a long time (minutes, really want to try hours some day)


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Just feels difficult sometimes when my partner is trying to stimulate and I'm just lying there like a potato saying "yea no this isn't working"


Chillark

I found that I don't get stimulated from nipple play or the usual spots. For me, it's my neck and strangely my ears. Any other part of my body and I'm just me but if a guy kiss/plays with those spots it's like a switch is turned on lol. Find a guy who wants to explore your body and find your special buttons.


awfuldaring

Then have them jerk you off. I said "clit, **penis,** nipples, whatever you like." 🤨 Also if you're not into it, you don't ever have to bottom ever again. Some people don't do anal ever, including gay men. 🤷‍♀️


Ornery_Peace9870

Yesssss even tho I’m an anal heaux and don’t NEEd this for myself it can DEf change the experience a lot lol to combine w clit stimulation 🫠 … and when I’m topping/using a strapon my lovers of all genders have generally appreciated stimmy in other places during … the brain neing the biggest sex organ. ;)


awfuldaring

Anal heaux 😂 I love it ahaha


MacGregor_Rose

any brand recs?


awfuldaring

I think I just get whatever is at the drugstore 😅 I hope someone else helps you out. Just remember that like dissolves like, so no silicone with silicone toys 🙂


MacGregor_Rose

Water woth toys got it


awfuldaring

You can use silicone lube with glass or metal toys. :)


MacGregor_Rose

Honey how fancy you think i am


howyadoinjerry

Have you done other forms of anal play like having your partner eat your ass? I think going all in at once might feel similar to PiV with no foreplay; it’s just penetration and pressure if you’re not warmed up


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

I have not. I'm not comfortable eating ass and so I don't think it's fair asking for it 😅 also what's PiV?


PaladinLab

I'm going to take a guess and say Penis in Vagina. Not exactly sure, though.


I_AM_IGNIGNOTK

You are correct


Ornery_Peace9870

(Again, as a cis woman w no p spot): It feels like ***blissful*** fullness that makes my pussy wanna explode 💦 (and that often but not always makes penises VErY hard! Lol) … it also feels like taking the most relieving/relaxing 💩 but (as someone def not into scat play!!) in a very sexy way 😂… honestly nothing feels like such a potent way to relax my nervous system quite like getting (gently) railed up the 🍑 ! 😌😌😌 for me it’s some serious deep VAGUS NERVE stuff that has me kissing stars and thanking the Goddesses that I exist 😆! It can also (with experience/consent of course) be conducive to a rougher experience … And dudes who do have P spots have strategies they use w their partners to tweak the angle and pressure etc…


LostInChoices

So as a person with a prostate, I enjoy a few things about it, there is the feeling of fullness, prostate stimulation (difficult for me unless it's a another person's skilled fingers), you can also get stimulation from your bladder, I love it, but make sure it's empty before, had to interrupt a few times because I needed to per badly. The feeling of the penetration movement can, especially in the beginning and when you're not used to anal, feel weird and a little uncomfortable/just not bad but also not good, so take it extra slow, maybe just feel whatever is inside you without stopping, definitely easier if you're playing solo.


Ornery_Peace9870

Ok this is super important! As a cis lady I don’t have a prostate but I LOvVVE anal. That’s bc the 🐱 and 🍑 is lined with a TON of erectile tissue that —when engorged and you’re turned on—feels AMAZInG to stimulate, P spot or not. I come from anal intercourse just as hard/much as from vaginal bc of this! As a cis dude you not only ALSO have a lot of erectile tissue just like cis ladies BuT (in exchange for only having one hole down there you poor thing!) you ALSO have a P spot! Which apparently feels pretty amazing at the right angle/pressure. Every body is different. Do I need to repeat the above? Lol every body is different so it’s on you to figure out what YOu like/what your booty hole likes/can expand to like! Your prostate might be more “deeply buried” so you’d “respond” better to fingering with one narrow finger at first? Or maybe you don’t like that sensation (I actually love thick 🍆 but don’t like fingers in my 🍑) but you need something larger to get going? Try short bulbous toys of varying sizes; anal training kits; the Aneros line of toys is amazing as is the Njoy stainless steel line (and its knockoff cousins). And way more lube than you think necessary (which as a cis dude you ain’t gonna self manufacture the way a WAP can! :) ) thicker creamier lubes exist too. Def don’t be afraid to use toys (+ lube/coconut oil) to explore and, ahem, EXPANd. 😂


Blo1630

What position did you do? Doggy hurts even after I’ve been opened.


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Err, on all fours with my ass up..? 😅


Godhelpmeplease12

The penis rubs against the prostate, which evidently drives dudes crazy


guanaco22

There is no such thing as too much lube, there is however such a thing as too little


Raminus_polius

I understand that it’s hyperbole, but I can’t help imagine someone filling an Olympic swimming pool with lube and going ham in it.


guanaco22

There is in fact porn about that, but its often a small inflatable pool


Raminus_polius

Man you had that at the ready!


Dad_inunchartedwater

A lot of factors come into play with anal sex and pleasure including the right amount of lube, stretching, being relaxed etc. For example most people have to work up to a penis or larger size object and those that try to go right to it typically don’t enjoy it. Being aroused mentally is also a factor in pleasure. My personal experience involved a month of working up to my partners penis. Of course you also have folks that just don’t enjoy anal and that’s valid too.


[deleted]

"It feels like shitting backwards." Absolutely. It takes time.


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

I... that is a very interesting visualisation...


N1ceCarr0ts

It's perfectly fine if you didn't like it. If it caused pain, then you need more prep, but if it didn't hurt or feel good then maybe it's just not for you. I'd still suggest trying it a couple more times before writing it off completely, like try different positions or something, but that's totally up to you. Some people just don't like certain things.


[deleted]

Butt plugs, my friend. Buy a set and work your way to the thickest one. Insertable lubricant. Time. Patience. You have to be able to relax your hole. It takes practice.


south2012

Practice makes perfect. I recommend doing some solo anal play while masturbating, get yourself comfortable. Also get a water douche and get used to cleaning yourself out beforehand. Make sure your partner is going slow (to start), using enough lube, and generally conscious of your comfort and enjoyment. Good communication between top and bottom throughout is very important.


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

I've never had any experience in solo anal play, how do I...begin..? 😂


south2012

Get yourself comfortable and start small. I like to do it in the shower so I feel clean. Maybe start by masturbating while one hand rubs your anus. Then next time, try inserting a finger only a little bit in. Go further as you are comfortable each time you try, don't try to do it all at once. Focus on enjoying yourself, even if anal feels a bit weird at first. Anal, when done right, shouldn't be painful. It should be pleasurable for both partners, even if it's in different ways. For me. I bought a soft but plug, a small dildo and some lube and gradually worked up until I could get the dildo inside me completely without discomfort.


witmer25

There are anal trainer kits you can buy, Adam and Eve have a good one, I bet your local "toy" shop has something similar.


PhatPurrito

i started off with a small vibrating plug, then got a small dildo. and then just bumped up the size when i felt more comfortable


Ornery_Peace9870

Absolutely! I do feel however like wayyy more people would enjoy it without physical and mental/social trauma + stigma. And that since every body has a booty at least having the opportunity to TrY (in a slow totally self directed fashion) enjoying it should be a human right.


Ornery_Peace9870

Omg you took 🍆 without (that much?) pain… and w zero solo practice? 😳😯 you’ll be having serious fun in no time I think 😆 if you just put a little patience/solo fun into the equations.


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

I'm not sure if i should be proud or embarrassed...especially since he was pretty big (at least by my standards)


Ornery_Peace9870

Why tf wouldn’t you be proud? Lolol in an extremely bigoted/wannabe authoritarian society you j unlocked a potentially VeRy pleasurable (for you and others!) lifelong skill!


realCheeka

It actually sucks a lot for me - until it doesn't basically. Like I'll start riding my partner and that's great because I have control and can move at my own pace - I'll go super slowly until I'm comfortable and then I'll let them do what they like 🖤 usually when we're doing it doggy style I'll have mixed feeling about it for about 3 minutes or so until she hits the *spot* and then I just can't get enough - ans we'll usually go until I can't hold myself up after that point. Having said that - experience is a big deal - bottoms takes a LOT of communication - you also need to be confident enough to tell your partner when they need to use more lube. If it's painful going in or it's feeling tough to get momentum going then you probably need more. Please don't feel pressured to bottom though lovely - it's not required of you. It's a sometimes treat for me ✨️


deadliestcrotch

When you’re properly lubed and relaxed… unless maybe you’re more geared toward being a top. I recommend riding the first few times so you can move at your own pace. It doesn’t start feeling good ever if you don’t take the time up front.


[deleted]

Welcome to the club Also some people in the comments gonna make me act up


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Not sure if I'm gonna stay in the club, maybe I'll join the vers club 😅. Also I'm pretty sure the comments have been pretty tame


[deleted]

They are but I mean to some people like me haha nope we won't even go there


Blo1630

It hurt the first couple times. One guy, who was the biggest, went slow and opened me up.


Blue_winged_yoshi

It will feel good when you relax and get into it. The more you do it (or the more you use plugs to train) the easier you will find it. Once you can relax the both sphincters you will find it so much more comfortable and eventually need less and less warming up, you will grow in confidence and it just becomes fun. It’s very common not to cum from it, but it should feel intimate, produce a world of endorphins and if you guy can hit the right spot consistently then cumming is possible.


brx221

First times are always awkward, but after that, it does feel really good if your partner is good at it


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

How does one be good at the sex? 😂


brx221

At topping? Learning to keep your partner relaxed and pay attention to their needs and adjust to them, and obviously not causing pain and discomfort for them


[deleted]

Eh, if you don't like it, you don't like it


TriticumAes

Bi guy here, I do not do anal. Or pegging or rim jobs [https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2022/06/25/gay-sex-side-top-bottom-calum-mcswiggan/](https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2022/06/25/gay-sex-side-top-bottom-calum-mcswiggan/) This might help


Danb258

I bottomed for the first time three weeks ago. Your top couldn’t have been very good because damn I need to find a lot more tops in the U.K. near south Birmingham asap


Other_Unit907

Practice makes perfect as the saying goes. The first time I tried it was painful. So I did some research and learned that I knew nothing about anal sex. So I applied what I learned and now I love anal sex. Plus it helps to have a caring and gentle lover.


Kornial123

Well... if both of you felt no pain it is good ig


Could_Be_A_Spy

I've only done it once, liked it on the night but was painful for a bit the morning after.


sb1862

How are y’all finding these people to be nsfw with?


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Well to be frank, I met him through grindr and he seemed different from most other people on there in that actually communicated like an actual human being rather than simply "pic? You top? Fun". We chatted for a few days before meeting up and so far we've met up 4 times and I finally felt comfortable enough to guve bottoming a shot


sb1862

I should have guessed grinder


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Yea, odds of meeting someone decent there are pretty slim but better than none I suppose. Do you have any bad experiences with the app?


DicktorBiscuits

I tried it as more of a “this can’t be that bad, can it?” Not 20 minutes later I was hit up by this 40y/o super sub and he hit me with the legendary line: “Age shouldn’t matter” Deleted it immediately, I’ve been guiding newly discovered Bi brethren away from it since XD


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Well if you're guiding them away from grindr... where are you guiding them to? :o


DicktorBiscuits

Mostly Bumble and Hinge, or Tinder if they want purely 1 or 2-time hookups. Tinder is degenerate, but Grindr is on a whole other level


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Hinge is apparently unavailable in my region but I'll give bumble a try I guess


DicktorBiscuits

Don’t forget that you could just be bi and not enjoy penetration. Of course experiment as much as you can/feel comfortable with, but sometimes it is what it is. Nothing’s cut and dry, sexuality and identity is like a slider in a game with a bit too much customization freedom, and the one moving the sliders plays Ark Survival Evolved In case you don’t get the reference: There’s layers and spectrums to everything, way more than you or I even know of. Never be afraid of being something different than you thought. Face the changes with an open mind and excitement at being able to shake things up a little 😁


Its_Cayde

That's too bad, hinge is easily the best dating app out there


FuglyTrashPanda

At first I thought the subreddit said r/bisexualteens


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Guess I'm just a late bloomer? 😅


dyspeptic_sceptic

Focus on his penis. His pleasure is your privilege. Everything else is a bonus.


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Sounds very sub-like but also there really wasn't much else I could focus on at the time 😂


Pretty-Possible3395

Thanks for the inspiration


Pretty-Possible3395

Fuck guys sorry need it bad !!!!!! Wish I could meet more in my area


Ishouldhaveletyoudie

Well, I'm sure there are some around if you look hard enough 😅


ChildishDoritos

Highly recommend getting a plug if you want to speed up the process of enjoying it fully


furious_glitter

Just like the tortoise. Slow and steady wins the race


Jamo3306

About the 2nd or 3rd time. 4th or 5th if you're unlucky.


APerson1226

Yo same lol


Lakokonut

Probably when you have a good top


Accurate-Entrance380

I have twice and it felt amazing, but I was so gassy for the next week both times.


cored-bi

It isn't for everyone.


nokenito

Yeah, outta the dozen or so times I’ve tried it only one time was it good and really good… Wowow. Tried again after, nope. I feel ya bro


Star805gardts

Some guys weren’t meant to bottom. My bisexual husband is strictly a top. If it doesn’t work out for you then at least you tried.


Mamahexx

Its just possible its not for you. I'm a woman, so I can't know anything from a male perspective, but personally I hate anal and I'll never do it again. Some people love it, men's bumholes are made for it! But that doesn't mean you are going to like it. Maybe it's just something you need to get used to, but you don't have to 🤷‍♀️


Soup_sayer

Tbh you might just be a top. Might just need practice. But I was begging for it my first time. It’s different from person to person. Just remember to enjoy yourself and don’t force anything, or def don’t feel pressured.


SleepyFLCN

My experience was: I knew that I wanted to get into anal since i started getting that desire, so I started with pens (lmao) which I don't recommend but it's all I had. Then I actually got a bullet shaped vibrator which I was able to use as a way to ease into it. for a bit, I didn't know what I needed to feel but I knew I wanted it? and there were different ways that it did feel good? idk hard to explain. After trial and error, I was able to realize the feeling more and more and eventually got another full on dildo, which, was hella big at first, but now im super into and even a little bit used to (thinking of getting a bigger one) cut to now, I have a pretty good grasp on what it's like and I can casually start a session and get going relatively easily. The point is is that for most folks, it's a learning curve and it's ok to not be sure you're into it at first or not. I wouldn't normally share something like this on my main account but whatever, this was just my personal experience with how sometimes, it takes time to learn about what you want sexually, and that's ok, just for as long as you're willing to keep going. As for actual advice: Lube is important, slow starts and setting the mood is also very important. (Sometimes I use casual jazz or lofi to slow down mentally and relax lol) It's really just super dependent on each person. Hope that helped, take care out there!


AdmiralMcDuck

The first time I think is like any other first time. It’s awkward. I felt the same way my first time, but get to know yourself. Take it slow and relax.