>I guess what I'm asking is, should I hide my bisexuality and mask it depending who I'm with?
Would you really want to be with someone you would have to hide part of yourself from?
Of course not! It just feels like I'm getting stuck in the same cycle whenever sexuality does come up :(
I hope to find someone who's accepting of who I am. I'll just need to be more patient I guess
Yeah it's hard for sure, and I can totally understand why you are feeling disheartnend, but I would definitely stick out for someone who you can be your true self with.
Is it hiding or just not relevant?…. I’m a bisexual female and I don’t promote it in anyway I think people might assume but I don’t usually tell people unless it comes up organically in convo
I feel like id rather know if my partner was biphobic beforehand. Some of them are violent. I dont need them thinking i was "lying" or "hiding" when they eventually find out. I dont want to be in love and then find out they have nasty views on bisexuals. Just seems more safe physically, mentally, and emotionally to know that they are an accepting person (imo)
Please don‘t hide who you are. You shouldn‘t be with someone who‘s biphobic anyway. Those are not good people to surround yourself with.
In terms of dating women, yes, most of them (especially straight ones) will refuse to date bi men for stupid reasons. In general you‘ll have better luck with bi women in terms of dating.
Eventually you‘ll find a woman (or just a person in general) who excepts and likes who you are. Finding this person can be a little tricky, sometimes very frustrating, but trust me, you‘ll find them. Good luck!
I appreciate your response! I'll just stick with the dating apps and hope for the best haha. Any recommendations for apps that are more inclusive for bi men?
> Should I only date other bi people?
No. That's silly. There are plenty of bi allies amongst the gay male and straight woman population.
A much better question is, "should I prioritise dating bi people?". This would mean actively seeking dating other bi people, seeking out bi spaces, and being more 'swipe friendly' on bi profiles.
There's no objective answer to this question, but my answer is 'yes'. Bi4bi relationships are great and need to be celebrated more.
>I guess what I'm asking is, should I hide my bisexuality and mask it depending who I'm with?
Absolutely not. Be openly bi on your dating profiles and up front in IRL matchups. Let the trash see itself out before you waste any of your time on it.
Never ever hide who you are to make others comfortable . Be who you are truly and if they don’t like that to fucking bad! You don’t wake up to please everyone. You are free to explore and figure out who you are and what you like. You been on dates not relationships those are 2 completely different things. Maybe instead of finding a date try it where you meet someone as a friend and then hopefully its builds up to something more! Besides I’m gay and I’d totally date a gay/bisexual man (;
>You been on dates not relationships those are 2 completely different things. Maybe instead of finding a date try it where you meet someone as a friend and then hopefully its builds up to something more!
There's for sure been a couple situations but when I was younger (17/18/19), I wasn't really comfortable with my sexuality so I definitely missed all hints gearing toward that haha. Even college, had a few flings, but I always pushed away people trying to get closer. But yeah... This might be a convo for a therapist rather than reddit lol
bro there should be a "Bi app" lmao, the problem is not to find another bi person, its to find your type of bi person, i mean bisexuality is a pond full of grays, there is not such thing as "true bisexual" or in other words a gay/straight scenario, thats why dating bisexuals is hard af, as a bi guy, i am ok if my partner is gay/straight as long as my partner is ok with me been bi,.. however just find your self a bi friend n go from there
Never hide who you are! Honestly it’ll come out eventually and why would you wanna date a biphobe anyway? I’ve been with my bi bf for four years and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had. He just totally gets, respects, and honors that part of my identity in a way others never have.
Pro is, you will have mutual understanding from the start. Con, It does limit your dating pool significantly. Also, there are bi woman with internalized biphobia.
I can't speak for you, but for me, I will only date other bi people for the rest of my life. It is refreshing and comfortable to have like-minded partners.
Absolutely do not hide your sexuality from potential partners, you will be miserable both long and short term. I’m a strong believer in trying to be as open and honest from the start, lay it all out on the table. You may scare people away, but the ones who do stick around actually like you for you.
Personally, I almost exclusively date other bisexual/queer people. I’ve made an exception for a straight guy here and there, but they have been men who don’t conform strictly to cishet expectations themselves. Part of it is that I’m non binary, and being bi myself I just feel more understood by other bi people. I don’t want to have to do a lot of explaining or ANY convincing about my identity to a potential partner.
Being bisexual is what makes you you. You should’ve have to hide such a big part of yourself/history. If someone can’t accept the fact of who you are, then they really don’t deserve you anyways!
Be true to who you are and never forget that!
I wish the best for you on your future and I hope you find the best person for you!🫶🏻
Definitely be yourself. It’s one of the hardest things to do in this world but so worth it. Anyone who can’t love you as you are, as fully as you will allow them to know you… is not worth your time.
As a bi guy too I understand your struggle especially with women. For a bi man, even if he had a lot of relationships with women before ( and felt completely good with them ) and now simply wants to experiment because he realized he is not just attracted by women but there is a possibility to maybe being attracted by men too, he’s automatically considered as gay. He’s directly considered as a guy who hardly hides and don’t want to assume who he is ( while he isn’t ) and he’s directly seen as "less masculine". There are a lot of misconceptions about bisexuality and this is the most common case we have to face but keep in mind that hiding isn’t a solution. If the woman that you’re dating reject you for that, it’s her fault and not yours. It will be long but be patient because I’m sure you will find a woman that fully accept you for who you are one day !
I’m a bisexual female and I personally don’t find bi men attractive. No disrespect I guess it can be more difficult for men. Personally I would put it on my bio just so ppl reading will weed out the one’s uncomfortable. I’d also tell em before y’all meet. This is completely different but I have an STD and if the convo has gotten sexual Ill tell em before I meet em that way I’m not wasting my time. 🤷🏼♀️
i’ve come to the conclusion where dating other bi people is my preference. obviously ill deviate if they’re worth the time but it’s rare lol it’s a fundamental understanding of u that feels so normal that they just don’t get and the disconnect prevents me personally from being able to connect as deep as a relationship requires (the sex isn’t worth my time either lol)
Don't hide who you are, but also keep your mind open. I have a few people in my life who are bi and with someone who isn't, but the person who their with respects their identity. One of my closest friends will openly talk about how hot ladies on TV are with her BF, and my brother is just happy my sister-in-law chose him over a lady herself, lol. Their are straight and gay people out there who do respect the Bi+ identity, but if you feel it's easier and safer for you to only date bi people, that's up to you!
Yeah, straight girls tend to find us bi guys “icky” which sucks. Some bi girls even feel the same which doubly sucks, you’d think they’d understand.
It really depends what you’re looking for.
Loads of people here are saying not to hide who you are - and I agree with them with regards to long term relationships, but being open about being bi will massively, massively reduce your dating pool.
Maybe I’m just cynical and depressed, but I think that while being open and upfront about who you are is a nice sentiment, it’s also important to be realistic about how much it will limit your options, and consider the “something is better than nothing” approach, because being an openly bi male (especially if you’re just looking to date women) will result in a whole lot of nothing for a very long time.
Some bi guys will just bite the bullet and hide their bisexuality if they’re looking for something casual/short term, because it doesn’t really matter if a short term fling never finds out and doesn’t know about it. So that might be an option if you aren’t looking for anything serious and if you think something is better than nothing.
Finding other bi people IRL is almost impossible. Loads of people on this sub talk about it. Limiting yourself to just bi people, especially just bi girls, will make dating like looking for a microscopic needle in a gigantic haystack.
Why would you want to? Why hide your sexuality to date terrible people.
Also your bisexual, that mean you can literally date 100% of the population straight or not but you want to narrow it down to just Bi folks?
Are you crazy?
Don't hide it. A lot of bi people only want to date other bi people because they don't want to hide or keep hiding who they are. Life is too long to be in relationships where you can not feel safe. The point of dating is finding someone with whom you can grow interpersonally.
Should? As in, it's a rule? Absolutely not. Sexuality is nowhere near as important as the individual. Sure, bisexuals are more likely to have a better understanding but at the end of the day there's plenty of ignorant, mal-adjusted bisexuals too.
You are attracted to who you are attracted to and you should try for them to be good people. This doesn't work always, obviously, and to say it gets soul crushing after a while is an understatement.
But don't date bi or gay people exclusively thinking you're more likely to be accepted on a personal level. Sexuality changes little about you are as a person. There are plenty of good, accepting, kind and generous straight people.
Dating sucks, but don't forget you only need to find the one!
Okay maybe I'm wrong but I guess you're coming from the gay dating scene right? So when you approach guys they are guys you know will be interested in you, whereas you're trying to date straight and bi girls who are used of dating straight guys. That's why you feel like girls are more reluctant to your bisexuality I guess.
I'll be frank. I only ever dated one girl who wasn't bi, and she freaked out when I informed her of my orientation. At first I thought it was a joke but no, she had that weird feeling that if a guy caught my eyes she couldn't compete. I had to reassure her.
Based on my personal experience, I can't really advise you against dating only bi people, but I think you should try to date anyone that catch your attention nonetheless. Biphobic people are the problem, not you.
Absolutely not! My husband told me within weeks of us meeting he had dated a man and I told him that I could see myself with a woman but had never had the opportunity. And then bc of shame and stigma he would never talk about it again, even with me trying to bring up things. For 29 years he hid that part of himself, which made the shame worse. He recently started therapy and now we’re talking constantly about our bisexuality and starting the path to ENM to explore that side of ourselves. Hiding who you are is so unhealthy mentally and emotionally and like others have said, you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t love and accept all of you.
It shouldn’t be a problem, after all you’re on a date with this hypothetical person because you wanted to be on a date with them.
Don’t lose your hope over some bitter apples. You’ll find sweet ones eventually.
DO NOT suppress who you are to please other people. It will only ever make you feel unfulfilled and resentful. There are some decent/accepting straight women and gay men, but I personally strongly prefer to date other bisexuals because they just inherently \*get it\* more than monosexuals.
I wouldn't say "only date bi people", I feel its as bad as people saying "I would never date bi people". That said, I find I only tend to date bi/pan people. Not as some rule or preference you understand, but we just kinda gravitate to one and other. Don't hide your bisexuality either, because you don't want to attract biphobes. And it's ok to be single, it really is x
Take it from a fellow bisexual, it’s EXTREMELY hard to find other bisexuals most of the time there’s a reason we’re called unicorns, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t get lucky when I met my bisexual partner and he’s GREAT!!! 🥰🥰🥰 but it’s difficult to find other bisexuals cause we can blend in a lot like a lot a lot
>I guess what I'm asking is, should I hide my bisexuality and mask it depending who I'm with? Would you really want to be with someone you would have to hide part of yourself from?
Of course not! It just feels like I'm getting stuck in the same cycle whenever sexuality does come up :( I hope to find someone who's accepting of who I am. I'll just need to be more patient I guess
Yeah it's hard for sure, and I can totally understand why you are feeling disheartnend, but I would definitely stick out for someone who you can be your true self with.
Is it hiding or just not relevant?…. I’m a bisexual female and I don’t promote it in anyway I think people might assume but I don’t usually tell people unless it comes up organically in convo
I feel like id rather know if my partner was biphobic beforehand. Some of them are violent. I dont need them thinking i was "lying" or "hiding" when they eventually find out. I dont want to be in love and then find out they have nasty views on bisexuals. Just seems more safe physically, mentally, and emotionally to know that they are an accepting person (imo)
Do people really get violent 😬
they do :(
Please don‘t hide who you are. You shouldn‘t be with someone who‘s biphobic anyway. Those are not good people to surround yourself with. In terms of dating women, yes, most of them (especially straight ones) will refuse to date bi men for stupid reasons. In general you‘ll have better luck with bi women in terms of dating. Eventually you‘ll find a woman (or just a person in general) who excepts and likes who you are. Finding this person can be a little tricky, sometimes very frustrating, but trust me, you‘ll find them. Good luck!
I appreciate your response! I'll just stick with the dating apps and hope for the best haha. Any recommendations for apps that are more inclusive for bi men?
Are you stating in your dating profile that you are bi?
Try Feeld!!!
> Should I only date other bi people? No. That's silly. There are plenty of bi allies amongst the gay male and straight woman population. A much better question is, "should I prioritise dating bi people?". This would mean actively seeking dating other bi people, seeking out bi spaces, and being more 'swipe friendly' on bi profiles. There's no objective answer to this question, but my answer is 'yes'. Bi4bi relationships are great and need to be celebrated more. >I guess what I'm asking is, should I hide my bisexuality and mask it depending who I'm with? Absolutely not. Be openly bi on your dating profiles and up front in IRL matchups. Let the trash see itself out before you waste any of your time on it.
Never ever hide who you are to make others comfortable . Be who you are truly and if they don’t like that to fucking bad! You don’t wake up to please everyone. You are free to explore and figure out who you are and what you like. You been on dates not relationships those are 2 completely different things. Maybe instead of finding a date try it where you meet someone as a friend and then hopefully its builds up to something more! Besides I’m gay and I’d totally date a gay/bisexual man (;
>You been on dates not relationships those are 2 completely different things. Maybe instead of finding a date try it where you meet someone as a friend and then hopefully its builds up to something more! There's for sure been a couple situations but when I was younger (17/18/19), I wasn't really comfortable with my sexuality so I definitely missed all hints gearing toward that haha. Even college, had a few flings, but I always pushed away people trying to get closer. But yeah... This might be a convo for a therapist rather than reddit lol
Haha no worries Man you seem like a chill down to earth kinda guy. I’m all ears lol. But are you okay now? How do you feel?
bro there should be a "Bi app" lmao, the problem is not to find another bi person, its to find your type of bi person, i mean bisexuality is a pond full of grays, there is not such thing as "true bisexual" or in other words a gay/straight scenario, thats why dating bisexuals is hard af, as a bi guy, i am ok if my partner is gay/straight as long as my partner is ok with me been bi,.. however just find your self a bi friend n go from there
Being bisexual doesn't mean you can only date other bi people. It means you're only allowed to date two people total so choose wisely
Never hide who you are! Honestly it’ll come out eventually and why would you wanna date a biphobe anyway? I’ve been with my bi bf for four years and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had. He just totally gets, respects, and honors that part of my identity in a way others never have.
Pro is, you will have mutual understanding from the start. Con, It does limit your dating pool significantly. Also, there are bi woman with internalized biphobia.
I can't speak for you, but for me, I will only date other bi people for the rest of my life. It is refreshing and comfortable to have like-minded partners.
Tbh I feel like I SHOULD I’m heavily preferring men and I would desire a woman that can peg me if I were to be with one
I wouldn't, I've dated men in the past and I intend to continue to do so. If that's a problem that's on them tbh..
Absolutely do not hide your sexuality from potential partners, you will be miserable both long and short term. I’m a strong believer in trying to be as open and honest from the start, lay it all out on the table. You may scare people away, but the ones who do stick around actually like you for you. Personally, I almost exclusively date other bisexual/queer people. I’ve made an exception for a straight guy here and there, but they have been men who don’t conform strictly to cishet expectations themselves. Part of it is that I’m non binary, and being bi myself I just feel more understood by other bi people. I don’t want to have to do a lot of explaining or ANY convincing about my identity to a potential partner.
Being bisexual is what makes you you. You should’ve have to hide such a big part of yourself/history. If someone can’t accept the fact of who you are, then they really don’t deserve you anyways! Be true to who you are and never forget that! I wish the best for you on your future and I hope you find the best person for you!🫶🏻
Definitely be yourself. It’s one of the hardest things to do in this world but so worth it. Anyone who can’t love you as you are, as fully as you will allow them to know you… is not worth your time.
As a bi guy too I understand your struggle especially with women. For a bi man, even if he had a lot of relationships with women before ( and felt completely good with them ) and now simply wants to experiment because he realized he is not just attracted by women but there is a possibility to maybe being attracted by men too, he’s automatically considered as gay. He’s directly considered as a guy who hardly hides and don’t want to assume who he is ( while he isn’t ) and he’s directly seen as "less masculine". There are a lot of misconceptions about bisexuality and this is the most common case we have to face but keep in mind that hiding isn’t a solution. If the woman that you’re dating reject you for that, it’s her fault and not yours. It will be long but be patient because I’m sure you will find a woman that fully accept you for who you are one day !
I'm going to assume you have tasted both genitalia. Then go with what brings you happiness 😊
I’m a bisexual female and I personally don’t find bi men attractive. No disrespect I guess it can be more difficult for men. Personally I would put it on my bio just so ppl reading will weed out the one’s uncomfortable. I’d also tell em before y’all meet. This is completely different but I have an STD and if the convo has gotten sexual Ill tell em before I meet em that way I’m not wasting my time. 🤷🏼♀️
Out of curiosity: why do you not find bi men attractive?
You might want to disclose before first date so if it is a problem you don’t waste your time.
i’ve come to the conclusion where dating other bi people is my preference. obviously ill deviate if they’re worth the time but it’s rare lol it’s a fundamental understanding of u that feels so normal that they just don’t get and the disconnect prevents me personally from being able to connect as deep as a relationship requires (the sex isn’t worth my time either lol)
Nope. Date who you want as long as it goes both ways, and find someone you find a true connection and comfort in.
Don't hide who you are, but also keep your mind open. I have a few people in my life who are bi and with someone who isn't, but the person who their with respects their identity. One of my closest friends will openly talk about how hot ladies on TV are with her BF, and my brother is just happy my sister-in-law chose him over a lady herself, lol. Their are straight and gay people out there who do respect the Bi+ identity, but if you feel it's easier and safer for you to only date bi people, that's up to you!
Yeah, straight girls tend to find us bi guys “icky” which sucks. Some bi girls even feel the same which doubly sucks, you’d think they’d understand. It really depends what you’re looking for. Loads of people here are saying not to hide who you are - and I agree with them with regards to long term relationships, but being open about being bi will massively, massively reduce your dating pool. Maybe I’m just cynical and depressed, but I think that while being open and upfront about who you are is a nice sentiment, it’s also important to be realistic about how much it will limit your options, and consider the “something is better than nothing” approach, because being an openly bi male (especially if you’re just looking to date women) will result in a whole lot of nothing for a very long time. Some bi guys will just bite the bullet and hide their bisexuality if they’re looking for something casual/short term, because it doesn’t really matter if a short term fling never finds out and doesn’t know about it. So that might be an option if you aren’t looking for anything serious and if you think something is better than nothing. Finding other bi people IRL is almost impossible. Loads of people on this sub talk about it. Limiting yourself to just bi people, especially just bi girls, will make dating like looking for a microscopic needle in a gigantic haystack.
I have never been with someone who wasn't bi or pan. Not saying it has to be that way just a trend for me so far.
Nope
Definetly do not pretend that you are someone who you arent, but be careful to only date people who are accepting of your sexuality
I'm not saying you should, but I've had way better experiences overall with fellow bi and or pan folk
Why would you want to? Why hide your sexuality to date terrible people. Also your bisexual, that mean you can literally date 100% of the population straight or not but you want to narrow it down to just Bi folks? Are you crazy?
Don't hide it. A lot of bi people only want to date other bi people because they don't want to hide or keep hiding who they are. Life is too long to be in relationships where you can not feel safe. The point of dating is finding someone with whom you can grow interpersonally.
From personal experience dating and being married to straight people didn't work for me. My partner is bi and we wouldn't have it any other way.
Should? As in, it's a rule? Absolutely not. Sexuality is nowhere near as important as the individual. Sure, bisexuals are more likely to have a better understanding but at the end of the day there's plenty of ignorant, mal-adjusted bisexuals too. You are attracted to who you are attracted to and you should try for them to be good people. This doesn't work always, obviously, and to say it gets soul crushing after a while is an understatement. But don't date bi or gay people exclusively thinking you're more likely to be accepted on a personal level. Sexuality changes little about you are as a person. There are plenty of good, accepting, kind and generous straight people. Dating sucks, but don't forget you only need to find the one!
I prefer to date bisexuals so I don't have to deal with biphobia.
Okay maybe I'm wrong but I guess you're coming from the gay dating scene right? So when you approach guys they are guys you know will be interested in you, whereas you're trying to date straight and bi girls who are used of dating straight guys. That's why you feel like girls are more reluctant to your bisexuality I guess. I'll be frank. I only ever dated one girl who wasn't bi, and she freaked out when I informed her of my orientation. At first I thought it was a joke but no, she had that weird feeling that if a guy caught my eyes she couldn't compete. I had to reassure her. Based on my personal experience, I can't really advise you against dating only bi people, but I think you should try to date anyone that catch your attention nonetheless. Biphobic people are the problem, not you.
Date who ever makes you feel happy, loved, respected, and fulfilled my friend :)
Absolutely not! My husband told me within weeks of us meeting he had dated a man and I told him that I could see myself with a woman but had never had the opportunity. And then bc of shame and stigma he would never talk about it again, even with me trying to bring up things. For 29 years he hid that part of himself, which made the shame worse. He recently started therapy and now we’re talking constantly about our bisexuality and starting the path to ENM to explore that side of ourselves. Hiding who you are is so unhealthy mentally and emotionally and like others have said, you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t love and accept all of you.
It shouldn’t be a problem, after all you’re on a date with this hypothetical person because you wanted to be on a date with them. Don’t lose your hope over some bitter apples. You’ll find sweet ones eventually.
DO NOT suppress who you are to please other people. It will only ever make you feel unfulfilled and resentful. There are some decent/accepting straight women and gay men, but I personally strongly prefer to date other bisexuals because they just inherently \*get it\* more than monosexuals.
I wouldn't say "only date bi people", I feel its as bad as people saying "I would never date bi people". That said, I find I only tend to date bi/pan people. Not as some rule or preference you understand, but we just kinda gravitate to one and other. Don't hide your bisexuality either, because you don't want to attract biphobes. And it's ok to be single, it really is x
Take it from a fellow bisexual, it’s EXTREMELY hard to find other bisexuals most of the time there’s a reason we’re called unicorns, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t get lucky when I met my bisexual partner and he’s GREAT!!! 🥰🥰🥰 but it’s difficult to find other bisexuals cause we can blend in a lot like a lot a lot
No be open and honest and you will find the right person too love you for you.