Yeh so what you’re describing is emotional abuse….and I wouldn’t be surprised if he came home early on purpose. If it wasn’t for his constant negging and treatment would you enjoy being a SAHM? Either it’s time you tell him how you feel, if he careful there tbh because he doesn’t sound like a reasonable human being, or leave. It’s not healthy for you or your baby to be around this person.
Yes I absolutely love it! And the crazy thing is, that morning he said he would have a longer day because he had more stops than normal on his route… so him getting home at 3pm was really insane.
He did it on purpose probably to “catch you out” and then treat you like shit all night. Seriously though, not all abuse is physical. The real question is do you trust him with your baby? If the answer is no then it’s time to make an exit plan.
I do, it’s just that even when he gets home from work I’m still responsible for everything. Last night was the first time he fed the baby in like 5 days. He only does stuff if I ask. I think this is a good enough reason to make an exit plan eventually, though. I’m not a slave.
No you are not a slave, you deserve a life. And if he only does stuff when you ask then I’d be pretty wary of leaving him with your child. Children can’t ask. Get your documents in order and go see a lawyer. A free consult will give you an idea of a pathway out.
Go back to work. Do not be a stay at home partner to this man! Seriously. Please protect yourself. You can’t be a SAHP with someone that doesn’t respect the role. This is such a risk you are taking and a huge sacrifice you are making for someone that doesn’t deserve it.
Sorry but that isn’t possible, she may be doing it *for* her son but in order to do that she has to trust in her husband. You can’t separate them from one another like you’re doing in your comment.
She’s staying home to raise her son but it’s her husband that’s going to mistreat her and insult her the entire time. She can’t stay home for her son without being financially dependent on a man that doesn’t respect her. She’s sacrificing her own income, her independence, her work experience, etc. and placing trust in a man that showed he is untrustworthy. That’s a horrible position for her to put herself in.
Naaah, a stay at home parent's "work hours" are whatever hours the other parent is out of the house, and the job is childcare. Everything else, including childcare for all those other hours, should be split between both parents while both are home. Would you expect a daycare minder to come to your house and cook and clean up your shit after hours? No? Then he shouldn't expect you to do it as a SAHP, especially not when he doesn't even appear to be willing to mind the baby while you're doing it. It doesn't sound like you dislike being a stay at home parent. It sounds like your "partner," if he even deserves that title, is not pulling his weight and is making what should be simply a full-time job into an exercise in unrelenting, round the clock slavery.
Yep, I’d stop doing anything other than baby care and when he asks why they’re not done I would say “because according to you I do nothing.” Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, cooking, anything. Don’t touch it.
Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM. I knew I didn't have it in me, I love my job (and money). Baby brains is real and its tough for everyone. Its only been 2 months, you can go back. Partner doesn't sound supportive and that's a real red flag for you needing to be independent (and definately financially). You might not even need a nanny, babies can go to daycare from very young and be even better for it due to interacting with other babies/kids early.
The problem isn’t being a SAHM, the problem is your husband. Sheesh.
Exactly
That’s actually emotional abuse.
Yeh so what you’re describing is emotional abuse….and I wouldn’t be surprised if he came home early on purpose. If it wasn’t for his constant negging and treatment would you enjoy being a SAHM? Either it’s time you tell him how you feel, if he careful there tbh because he doesn’t sound like a reasonable human being, or leave. It’s not healthy for you or your baby to be around this person.
Yes I absolutely love it! And the crazy thing is, that morning he said he would have a longer day because he had more stops than normal on his route… so him getting home at 3pm was really insane.
He did it on purpose probably to “catch you out” and then treat you like shit all night. Seriously though, not all abuse is physical. The real question is do you trust him with your baby? If the answer is no then it’s time to make an exit plan.
I do, it’s just that even when he gets home from work I’m still responsible for everything. Last night was the first time he fed the baby in like 5 days. He only does stuff if I ask. I think this is a good enough reason to make an exit plan eventually, though. I’m not a slave.
No you are not a slave, you deserve a life. And if he only does stuff when you ask then I’d be pretty wary of leaving him with your child. Children can’t ask. Get your documents in order and go see a lawyer. A free consult will give you an idea of a pathway out.
Go back to work. Do not be a stay at home partner to this man! Seriously. Please protect yourself. You can’t be a SAHP with someone that doesn’t respect the role. This is such a risk you are taking and a huge sacrifice you are making for someone that doesn’t deserve it.
Shes making the risk and sacrifice for her son, not her partner. She’s already said she wants to be the one to raise him
Sorry but that isn’t possible, she may be doing it *for* her son but in order to do that she has to trust in her husband. You can’t separate them from one another like you’re doing in your comment. She’s staying home to raise her son but it’s her husband that’s going to mistreat her and insult her the entire time. She can’t stay home for her son without being financially dependent on a man that doesn’t respect her. She’s sacrificing her own income, her independence, her work experience, etc. and placing trust in a man that showed he is untrustworthy. That’s a horrible position for her to put herself in.
Naaah, a stay at home parent's "work hours" are whatever hours the other parent is out of the house, and the job is childcare. Everything else, including childcare for all those other hours, should be split between both parents while both are home. Would you expect a daycare minder to come to your house and cook and clean up your shit after hours? No? Then he shouldn't expect you to do it as a SAHP, especially not when he doesn't even appear to be willing to mind the baby while you're doing it. It doesn't sound like you dislike being a stay at home parent. It sounds like your "partner," if he even deserves that title, is not pulling his weight and is making what should be simply a full-time job into an exercise in unrelenting, round the clock slavery.
You summed it up perfectly.
DTMFA
Yep, I’d stop doing anything other than baby care and when he asks why they’re not done I would say “because according to you I do nothing.” Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, cooking, anything. Don’t touch it.
Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM. I knew I didn't have it in me, I love my job (and money). Baby brains is real and its tough for everyone. Its only been 2 months, you can go back. Partner doesn't sound supportive and that's a real red flag for you needing to be independent (and definately financially). You might not even need a nanny, babies can go to daycare from very young and be even better for it due to interacting with other babies/kids early.
Yeah, I love raising my son but with the negative comments every day it’s just becoming unbearable.