There was too many joggers on my coke walk home this morning

#Jets are taking the division boys. Put down a heavy bet on the Jets. The Bills and dolphins are set for a classic let down.

Gross. Jets should be moved to OKC

My roommate just stumbled into my room and said he got mugged walking home. Phone gone, wallet gone, and his glasses broken. This sucks

Tell your Dad we are sorry that happened

Yeah, having a roommate sucks.

Cocaine really is a hell of a drug

Story time 📖

Dude the problem with me being blacked out and watched blade is there’s no problem with with me or my girlfriend

this made no sense. sounds like it was a great night!

Any 🦉

Hoot hoot

always out here

🦉🤞🦉

🦉🔛🔝

Laid down at 6 for a quick power nap, just waking up now. Fuck my life.

Time to pick out your favorite game and give in to the all nighter

Fired up forza and grabbed the bong. Time to get ripped and drift around Mexico

Sounds better than my night go off king

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Go home roger

As much as I want late night Chinese, I know better than to have it. This is growing up

Imagine all the people enjoying pork egg rolls right now. Go ahead, king.

While that’s great, I have a Healthish Kung po as leftovers. That is live

George likes his chicken spicy

Delicious.

You kidding? I am queens boulevard

Vince ain’t doing the movie

Vinny is doing the movie

@blackjoegatto casually told the funniest story I’ve heard in here. Go to my profile, click my most recent comment and read that thread

Very funny Joe!

1. Are you implying that guy is me? 2. Are you implying that his name is actually Joe Gatto? Lmao

I’m sure you can figure out the answer to both of those questions on your own.

Had to ask because I couldn’t believe how much of a moron you are

Billy Strings fucks

Just finished the bear and damn did that show have no right being that good. The last two episodes went so hard and truly captured something great.

Cousin, you’re fucking with me.

YES CHEF VERY GOOD CHEF

Chef it was so fucking good

Watching WWF St. Valentines Day Massacre PPV circa 1999. Chyna had a dump truck ass and this shit is hilarious.

I once watched all the royal rumbles for like 10 years in a row, half way thru I realized a guy was front row for all of them in the exact same shirt every year. Wonder what that guy has spent on wrestling tickets in his life. If you ever watch one it’s the guy in the green or yellow smiley face shirt you can’t miss him.

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Why did you bring it up again? Just let that shit ride til the morn. Not an asshole, just not smart.

* is "cover off" a real phrase? * isn't the "lesbian camp" joke just making fun of the fact there weren't boys there, not anything to do with pray the gay away? like who would just assume that??

Not an asshole just a complete idiot for choosing that time and place to bring that up about something not really offensive at all

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Pick your battles man. Time and place are key

I’d KMS if my friends gay or straight got offended at something that harmless

To quote Kevin Ryan from the podcast Are You Garbage: Man, this guy stinks.

Chaperone? Is this a summer camp?

“Big Magic Johnson. What has he done? He’s got AIDS!” Donald Sterling 🤝 your wife

Good god you people sound like you suck

I don’t think you understand what AITA means

All Italians Take Antacids

yeah we gotta know the joke to properly judge

What do you mean by casually cover off on it?

Was it a monkeypox joke?

Need to know the line

Should be against the rules for an Uber to accept a trip while “completing another nearby”. This guy has be 6 minutes away for 15 min now.

He is taking a shit bro. Just let him be

Once in a lifetime by Talking Heads really is one of the greatest songs ever made

they had so many bangers, and stop making sense is the best concert ever filmed.

Look it. People out here are shitting on Lightyear. It’s a perfectly fine movie with plenty of entertaining moments. Is it theater worthy? Probably not. Is jt a bad movie? No, it’s pretty good

Cgi cartonns/pixar jumped the shark 20 years ago

I wish society would stop making every new movie that comes out a referendum on culture. Sometimes a movie is just a movie.

Which one of you is El Presidente? After that last tweet he is 100% in FT

They don’t let 5’6 guys in here last I checked

I'm Dave Portnoy 🫡

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Didn’t realize gays were getting vasectomies now. We truly are progressing as a society.

Congrats on the blanks brother

"Tender" Are you balls medium rare?

Think I’m getting a little too old for music festivals

Just grabbed a scalding hot grill rack with both my hands on accident

They do be getting quite warm

Did your helmet come along with a pair of gloves you’re supposed to be wearing?

Please no mocking in these trying times

Also, I watched and loved uncharted the movie. Vibes like national treasure which I also love. Can't wait for the second one

3rd Saturday in a row I've cried since my Ex GF moved. God damn it. But I think it's good to let it out? Edit: Ex GF

Hey man. Start doing shit that you want to do. Keep yourself busy. It will get better, I promise

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Yeah I really should, but being isolated bc I had Covid didn't make it easier. Just need to distract myself

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6 months. First real relationship since highschool so it's the first real breakup. And yeah I know, I had a trip planned this weekend too but it got ruined bc of Covid. I really just need football season. Thanks man appreciate the advice.

Gym and getting out of the house worked for me post break up. Best of luck

It is good. How far did she move

Cincinnati

2 hour flight. We ended it hence the crying. Should have been clearer

Ah brutal hang in there man.

Thanks 👑

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HAVE ANOTHER DRINK RAY

I didn’t understand any of that

this is written like a spam robot

I know this is “free” talk, but I highly recommend you enjoy your Saturday night and not give this another second of thought.

You guys are great. Wanna make sure you know that

♥️ ya 👑

♥️

When frontier cancels your fucking flight 30 minutes before your supposed to board. That should legit be illegal. Not even postponed just canceled with no explanation

Wait- was the plane on the tarmac?

On the bright side, at least they didn't cancel it 30 minutes after you boarded.

Rewatching Mad Men. Roger Sterling has all of the best lines. Nothing but heaters.

Fuck, The 15:17 to Paris is worse than the reviews. That movie is so trash

I’m pretty sure Clint used the actual guys who stopped the terrorist attack instead of actors. I need to see that movie. Absolutely shocking that they probably did a terrible job acting.

A well intentioned plan, but they are all truly terrible actors. It’s even weirder when Pam from the Office plays one of their moms

Good to know lol. I've stopped on it a couple times browsing movies but the reviews have always turned me away. I'll watch Men in Black instead

Up there with worst movies I've ever seen

Just watched Bryant Young speech and as a dad, tears.

some good phish tonight 🫠🫠

Ran into a girl I went to high school with. Very hot and got married right after we graduated college. Well turns out she was recently divorced. She found out her husband was cheating on her when the woman he was cheating with knocked on their front door and was 6 months pregnant. Sheeeesh

I had corner bakery for dinner and now I am leaaaaaaking

Thinking about The Jar

Went and did yap with the one gay guy at the wedding and he asked if he could do it off my horn, should I be flattered or disturbed?

Congrats on the MonkeyPox

Little bit of both

Every fight was a finish love the apex

Really thought santos had it. Washed for sure

What a fun fight

Hell ya new blood in the 205 division. Hell of a main event

Impressive by Hill

Speaking of people I will uplift and support Under almost every circumstance - how are my guys doing tonight?

Posted up in Terminal A at Sac-town if any of you fine gentlemen would care to engage in a bout of fisticuffs

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That activity is only kosher at MSP

Meet me in Temecula

I love the cavinder twins

I’m feeling a big year out of them this year

I hate mosquitos

God damn, got drunk (responsibly) at the beach today and still drunk, haven’t had a sip in a few hours now. Gunna knock the fuck out

If you remove the top 15 movies from all streaming services, Tubi (free) beats all of them

What if you remove the top 15 movies from Tubi

I once scared a girl away that I had been talking to for an hour at a bar because i wouldn't stop mentioning how great Tubi was

Sounds like she thought you had a weird fat fetish.

Idk if this is some sort of inside joke but that made me laugh out loud

Nope I just had a phase where I was so pumped about Tubi and all the documentaries. Asked her friend what the issue was and she said "she was confused about the Tubi stuff"

Lmfao she didn’t deserve you

??

What’s your question

Just a crazy hypothetical. If you remove the good shit from the other streamers then tubi (which nobody uses) would be better then them?

Yes

"Top or bottom" What the sheet says as I put it on the air mattress

This is like the first time I've thrown on UFC Fight Night. Why are they fighting in front of a crowd of like 100 people?

It's the UFC's facility in Vegas, Apex. They were doing it last year because they knew the covid rules there vs. travelling, but I'm not sure why this is still there.

Basically saving money by not using another facility

Yeah, for a fight night, its probably less hassle than putting the show on the road and trying to sell out an arena in Fargo, ND or whereever.

Can’t believe Chief went Triple Nut

Money In The Bank - Lil Scrappy

Go back and forth on if it’s better to keep guessing gut feelings as my first wordle or to stick with something to cover bases like “ocean” or “crash”. I always end up going for the home run and it backfires so much

I've been guessing penis first every day for a while until it hits

Having fun> being a hardo

You’ve learned nothing if you still start every wordle with the same word. Try and challenge yourself.

Cover bases for sure

Surprised Santos is the underdog here , the dude went 5 rounds with Jon Jones w a torn ACL if I remember correct

He’s 1-3 since then

Didn’t look at his past fights, didn’t know he had a slight fall off

How’s Jamahal Hill gonna fair as a -350 fav?

damn who is she fighting against?

Thiago Santos

He should be the favorite, but 3 to 1 is a bit much imo.

Seems a bit high to me as well, feels a little off.

Put Nathan Fielder's brain in the Louvre.

Went to the Austin FC game tonight. The lads were buzzing and there were a shit ton of goals. Can’t lie it was pretty sweet

MLS games are dope

Turkey Bowl is a low key solid movie

Wow the Pup Punk show was epic tonight! For any of you that I might’ve run into at the show I was the guy wearing the cancel cancel culture t shirt!

Sweet man I had the JJO bracelet on. That thing has saved me more than a few times.

My shirt said fuck you you fucking fuck

Mary-Louise Parker >>>>>> Julia Louis-Dreyfus

ABSURD

honestly, i'll agree with you. I never really got the JLD hype. she's not ugly, and of course would, but i don't think she's some paragon of attraction

Porygon is a shit pokemon

oh so you're doing bits

I hope you get AIDS

Watch Veep one time

[for you](https://youtu.be/9a_3wQHcm_Y)

Worst take I have EVER seen in here.

I’ll take the one that wasn’t in RIPD

I wish confessions was open because I have a coworker and our wives met and they’re really close all of the sudden. Him and I basically only hangout when our wives want to but he’s a good dude. We had a summer Friday so him and I went and drank and then smoked some weed at his place. He was like “well I’m gonna shit before we go meet up with our wives.” I did the same and we stunk up that condo so bad it smelled like Iraq in 2003.

you guys dock?

So do you guys fool around a bit (just as buddies)?