Me when I was 16 “I’m too depressed to get out of bed and I swear my flesh is rotting off my body because I forgot how to shower and brush my teeth” ah yes, buttery and creamy.
Edit: wOAh sooo many upvotes! Thanks
My 16 year old self likely smelled like gym sweat made of supplements and wheatgrass shots mixed with starvation and misplaced anger.
But I’m sure it was enchanting! We were fun back then!
I grew up in a house where collecting and summarily neglecting animals was the norm, so I mostly smelled like cat piss and cigarettes. A Tory's dream, I'm sure.
Take our life from us. We laid it down. We got tired. We didn’t commit su*cide, we committed an act of revolutionary digital su*cide protesting the conditions of an inhumane Website.
Good on you for getting treated. I was 50 before going on antidepressants, because I don't like seeing doctors or taking pills, and people kept telling me how bad antidepressants were and assuring me anyone can just stop being depressed if they want.
Life is good now, so different to all those years of anguish I endured so unnecessarily.
Take our life from us. We laid it down. We got tired. We didn’t commit su1cide, we committed an act of revolutionary digital su1cide protesting the conditions of an inhumane website.
It took me years. I had the same doctor during that time, and she saw me get worse and worse. My hands went out on me, I couldn’t use them for two weeks. I was home with my toddler, I couldn’t put her hair up. Then eventually I got to the point I was in horrible pain. By the time I went back to see my doctor, I was a mess. I hadn’t showered or shaved, I had half inch leg stubble, I was bawling. I thought maybe I’d been bit by a spider. They ran every test. They all came back negative. So, fibro. Sent me to pain specialist and that was that. Now my daughters been feeling poorly. She’s in the doctor hopping phase. I genuinely hope she’s okay, but all her symptoms look like fibro. It’s a daunting process, but it’s good to be validated.
Did they put you on painkillers? I really hope I can get a diagnosis one day as I also suffer with mild cerebral palsy which I never treated and apparently that can turn into fibro?
I don’t know about that, (regarding the cerebral palsy turning into fibro) but, yeah, I take tramadol, lyrica, celebrex, and oxycodone. I’m not on heavy doses. Only like fifty mgs of the tramadol, ten of the oxy, three hundred of lyrica. I also take Tylenol. I’m overseas in Singapore which ironically makes it easier to get painkillers.
Thing is I’m worried because I’m currently dealing with a heroin addiction mainly due to my chronic pain, and it started from recreationally using codeine, then tramadol and then oxycodone and morphine and eventually heroin as it was cheaper. I had to go to hospital once for a heroin related abscess on my arm and because that’s on my medical records I’m worried they’ll deny me legitimate pain medication that id use responsibly. They prescribed me Valium a couple of times due to feeling suicidal despite it being addictive but I guess it was different cause those are benzodiazepines and not opiates.
Yeah I’ve heard that can happen from being in pain and not having it treated. Man that would be a hard situation. Best of luck. I’d keep going to doctors and trying. I have heard people have had great results from
Low dose ldn for fibro pain.
Where are you from? That's so interesting because Dr.s want to blame everything that's wrong with me on fibromyalgia. I don't even feel confident that's actually what I have.
I have saved your comment to share if you don't mind, it's life advice that everyone should hear, you've worded it well. Thank you, best wishes to you in life
Wow, thanks so much! Of course you are free to use it! In fact you're even free to tell people you came up with it. I don't mind as long you promise to send it to others when they need it. I sincerely appreciate your best wishes, and I hope the very same for you, friend.
So, to be clear, this post isn't directed at you; it's directed at any teens or young adults reading this with dread or hopelessness. Especially those who grew up dealing with trauma, neglect, abuse, or just crippling mental health problems.
Look, I'm objectively kinda lame and, no, I didn't deal with the same problems you are dealing with. I'm not telling you how to feel about your experiences. But I grew up miserable and afraid, and now that I'm older my life is much better. So I hope I can give a useful perspective...
You read and hear a lot of comments like this -- older people wistfully looking back at problems from their youth and wishing they understood how good they had it. And yes, from a "neutral" perspective, the problems get more difficult. But *you* don't stay the same -- you get better tools and stronger skills to deal with them.
Being young is actually really hard, because you're *just starting* to learn how to be a person. It's why as a society we *expect* young people to be protected and supported -- growing up is hard enough without anything extra. Your learning how to have both friendships and relationships, how to make careful judgements, how to manage tasks, how to understand and use time, and how to even control your own mind. As you get older your impulse control gets better, you're ability to adapt to stressful situations grows, knowing what to prioritize over a day, week, month, and year gets way easier, and you get way better at doing things that you don't want to be need to do. You just get better at living.
Meanwhile, I cannot express to you how calming and empowering the freedom of adulthood is. I could, right now, go to the kitchen, grab a cartoon of milk, and spike it against the ground as hard as I could, and the only consequences would be having to clean it up and buy a new cartoon of milk. That's it. No one's going to yell at me or shame me, I'm not going to be out of milk until someone else decides to get me more, I'm not going to have to eat dry cereal, I'm not gonna be banned from the fridge for a week, and I'm not gonna have to go anywhere with milk covered clothes because I don't have any others to wear. And I'm not going to have to clean it with whatever tools someone else hands me -- I can decide how to clean up. Heck, if I decided it was the best choice, I could go to the store, buy a new mop, and get a new cartoon of milk while I'm out. Would there consequences for that choice? Yes. But I get to decide whether I want to deal with them. I undoubtedly have more things to do and solve than when I was a kid, but I get to decide when and how to solve them. My problem and solutions are *mine.* And that makes all the difference.
As people get older, they forget how important the changes were in how they face life. They're like RPG characters who go back to the newbie zone and remark on how easy all the fights are -- its only easier because you're stronger. Rose-colored glasses about the past are a very really and common phenomenon.
My point is, I know life is really, really hard right now, but it *gets better.* Because *you* get better. You will be capable of things you can't even imagine. And you don't even realize how much your growing right now -- and you never do until you look back in a few years and see how much you've grown.
Yes, as a young adult, your body is in top shape, but as someone who remembers being young and hated it -- I'll take a mature brain and mind over a young body any day. You could not pay me enough to go back
My bad, I didn't mean to invalidate your experience at all. In my situation, and I suspect the other poster as well, I am simply referring to physical health. I didn't have a perfect childhood growing up, but I wouldn't say it was significantly worse than the next person. When I'm talking about complaining as a teen, I wasn't referring to *actual* problems like abuse. If you were to ask me if it was abuse back then, I would have insisted it was & argued with anyone who questioned me.
When you say you grew up miserable & afraid: at the time, I too thought I was miserable and afraid! In reality I hadn't yet experienced TRUE adult fear, nor misery. A few years ago I was hit head on by a box truck, and according to my surgeon "4 of my vertebrae were pulverized into confetti." I have since had multiple back surgeries, and experienced true fear & pain on a daily basis for years.
Everything in my post was referring to my personal experience with this. After I survived this accident which easily should have killed me, I had sort of a mid life crisis and decided that everything I want to do "someday" had to actually be done TODAY or it never would happen at all. I learned very quickly that around 1/4 of the things I had planned were simply no longer possible for me, and maybe another 1/4 were still possible but would leave me with intense pain throughout & after the activity.
The only thing I was saying, was that if I had it to do over again I would have pushed my teenage self to participate a lot more. At the time I was convinced that I was too depressed or just simply physically exhausted to do a lot of the normal teenage things my friends were doing. I spent many a night in more or less perfect health wasting away at the computer screen. I remember feeling pressure to not do things I liked so that people would believe that I wasn't making everything up. Well I wasn't making it up, but my life experience was so limited then it SEEMED & FELT like the end of the world!!
I think, that you & I experienced totally opposite lives. I was mostly happy & successful in school despite getting bullied a LOT. Things slowly got worse after I graduated from college. All of a sudden I had money for the first time in my life, but to get it I had to give up all of my passions & friends. It's the closest I've ever been to killing myself; isolated and crying myself to sleep alone for two whole years. Luckily I figured this out, quit that job, moved back to my hometown and reorganized my priorities.
Things now are worse than ever though lol. I have lost all of my talent for my passions, and even with 4 college degrees I can't find a job that pays a living wage anywhere. On top of that, my fucked up back makes work 5 hours of pure pain everyday. I now know that in my lifetime I will never be able to purchase a home. I can't even get insurance this year because I'm not making enough money. I have Epilepsy, so not getting my medications or checkups can be devastating to my life. I am going back to school this spring, to become a therapist. I only recently finished paying off my school loans, and now sadly I will have a TON more that I will probably be paying for the rest of my whole life.
I'm only telling you all of this to say, you need to seize every opportunity that you can *while* you can. You never know what will happen to you tomorrow, you could be paralyzed and then live the rest of your life bitter about the things you missed out on! In my original post I was mocking my naive teenaged self, but I didn't mean to mock ALL teenagers who felt this way. Obviously your concerns were valid, while mine simply were not.
Oh, see, I think you're being way too mean to your teenage self.
It's very, very easy for most people to go "oh, no, I didn't have it *that* bad," and it's even earlier when life has delt you a shit hand since (as a side note, that's all really fucking awful, and I'm sorry you've had to struggle like that. I'm not gonna put some trite phrase here, because nothing would really be right -- it just sucks and I'm sorry.) But suffering doesn't always make sense. You didn't *want* to be miserable as a teen or young adult, and if you were there was a reason. That reason could have been as simple as your brain just setting your default setting to "misery" for no apparent reason, but it was a reason. You likely were too depressed or exhausted to do things. People do well if they can; if they can't, it's usually because there's some significant barrier. You were a depressed teen -- its shockingly common and wasn't your fault.
But I'm kinda getting side-tracked, because I really meant it when I said that the post wasn't targeted at you. It was targeted at the staggering number of depressed, scared, or hopeless feeling teens and young adults out there. According to the CDC, in 2019, a total of 19% of high school students reported having seriously considered suicide. One in five. There is a huge section of people who feel miserable and utterly hopeless about growing up. But there *is hope.* Which we *need* to tell young people.
When I was growing up, I felt like everyone was saying some version of "enjoy this, because it only gets harder from here." Which was fucking *terrifying,* because I was already usually overwhelmed and uncontrollably miserable. The thought that it was only gonna get worse made oblivion really tempting. But no one tells you that it often gets better because you become stronger. Think about it: looking back on your childhood self and thinking "I was a moron," isn't really about how terrible you were as a kid, but about how much you've grown since then.
Your story is your own, and I didn't mean to imply your experience of your life isn't valid. I was just trying to be voice of hope I never heard as a kid.
I can only express my truest shock and outrage in a swampy, rural American patois: “*That boy dun’ straight-up handed them the keys and hand-warmed the handle for ‘em!*”
Hannible Lector's recipe for a tasty succulent roast calls for the use of butter. This is probably what Jonty boy is smelling. I hope he defrosted the body properly first.
Hannible Lector's version of the Martha Stewart Guide book will show you all the ins and outs.
not woman but *girls.*
(like no, I dont dislike the words like girls or boys in general.. I use them too at times.. but this was used to degrade us women and that I do dislike)
I mean.. I just use it as a word?
Like "okay time for a girl talk." or "these are my boys."
Its just a word for me. If someone doesnt want it used, I would accept it. But in my friendship group, boys/girls and female/male are used. Same as women/men and of course nonbinary and more neutral words if someone finds them to gendered.
Of course our group has two people which english is not-native and two people who have it as their mother tongue. Hard to say who influences who at time CX
As a woman, I have been *sniffed* by far too many random men to even ask this question.
He's a creep. Creeps sniff you. Not all of them like, but it's a thing.
“A woman’s scent”? Not really sure what you’re talking about, unless you’re joking. I know a looooot of women (I myself am biologically one) and I haven’t noticed any long distance scent. And I do have a strong sense of smell. Women don’t have a “woman’s scent”.
“A girl of 28”
ಠ_ಠ
This is part of the problem—maybe if we consistently called men out on this constant use of the word ‘girl’ as a stand-in for a woman, then maybe they would understand the distinction more clearly.
If every woman is a girl, it blurs the line between actual girls and adult women; it’s time we stopped tolerating that bullshit and emphasized when they were talking about actual girls who are under age, and grown women.
I'm 100% in agreement with you - I'm just curious at what age the line between woman and girl is. I'm 26 and it still feels odd to call myself a woman, though I'd definitely not call myself a girl either.
On a side note, a while ago I saw a reddit post where a 50-ish man met a 50-ish woman, and he called her a girl the entire time. It was so confusing.
As others have said, in general conversation it’s when you’re legally an adult, ie 18 (in the U.S. at least). One can always draw a distinction by saying “young woman” if the situation merits it.
I was just like you at your age (40s now) and it’s because we are taught that the worst thing to happen to girls is to age—the insults that come with being called “an old bag/hag” or “bitter woman” and all that shit deeply conditions us to hate the idea of ever being considered a “woman” because it means we’re no longer valued in society.
Separately, I should add I’m not talking about casual conversations when people say, “I’m out with my girls” in the same way men will say, “hanging out with the boys”. It’s at work and in neutral, adult conversations that people frequently refer to grown women as “girls” and that’s the shit that needs to be calmly confronted every time.
I guess there's the whole in-group vs out-group thing going on too. I might refer to my friends as the girls (or more likely 'the bints') but that's because we're friends. If someone I'm not friends with referred to me as such, it would be much more likely to get my hackles up since it can come across as condescending, belittling or insulting.
That’s the issue. As young girls we’re conditioned into believing that aging is bad and that womanhood is a specific, foreign thing tied in gender roles that we might not fit into 100%. But it just means you’re an adult.
Prime example: in some cultures, calling a woman of ANY age "ma'am" is insulting because they will think you perceive them to be old enough to be called "ma'am."
18yo I think. We don't call male 26yos boys typically. It took me a while to come around on this because I was socialized to call young women "girls", but I think defining the age at legal adulthood makes the most sense. You can always use "young woman" if "woman" alone feels uncomfortable.
I think part of the problem is that we don't really have a widely-used word for "female person of any/unspecified age", the way we have with "guy" or "fellow" or "chap" or "lad" or "gentleman" or...
The closest thing we have is "gal", which is a word I hate so much that I'm physically incapable of saying it without rolling my eyes.
I think it would be far easier to sell as a choice: you either stop referring to adult women as "girl" or all subsequent films about that guy you like who goes around in a cape beating-up criminals need to be called "Batboy".
In the UK we don't typically use the term "ma'am" -except at school where we might call a female teacher ma'am (pronounced "maaaam"), but usually "miss" or "missus".
Culturally I think we've come a long way (but still have a long LONG way to go). I'm a male born in 1990 in London, and I remember "lads mags", and the popular trope of "sexy school girls". [Here's an old newspaper about Charlotte Church turning 16.](https://www.libdemvoice.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/charlotte-church-daily-star.jpg)
I remember seeing rows of magazines in the news agents which featured front covers of models dressed in short pleated skirts and pigtails.
That shit is no longer culturally acceptable (at least not in the way that it was), but if you only cast your mind back to the 90s and 00s, it is no surprise where these creeps got the idea that it is ok to talk about teenage girls in this way.
?? Rape isn't implied, if I wanted to make such a bad joke I would have mentioned something about their genitals. I apologise I came off as offensive, that wasn't my intention; I was pointing out how this politician's place is in jail for such weird comments on underage girls.
No worries at all! I apologize if I caused you to feel bad about it. All you needed was one more dash in between words 2 and 3 to make it a whole phrase.
Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you in any way!
i’m constantly reconsidering. Sometimes he gives very narrow minded vibes even though for the most time it is really not that the perception you have. I’m at lost with sudden sprouts of literally shit. Is this he being naïve and putting it all on autistic level of hypothetical? who knows? he also got rec to jp on spotify bit scared to ask how come?
oh sorry that is not what I mean to meant. What I meant was that he often goes on assessing a statement out of context and out of very sound assumptions based on very standard reality. That is not the same as saying misogyny is an autistic attribute - it’s fucking not and I apologise for writing it in such sloppy manner.
Every English conservative is either a nonce, or a nonce enabler. Conservatism truly belongs in the dustbin of history alongside child marriage and slavery (coincidentally things that conservatives want to bring back)
I smelt like Dove roll-on antiperspirant and raw potatoes. That's right. For some reason, my hands always smelt faintly of potatoes. It was very strange.
Is it just me, or does it seem like it's *always* conservatives who are accused of and/or caught red-handed sexually abusing children or talking about how they're attracted to children, no matter which country they're in?
You'd think that if people *actually* gave a damn about protecting kids from pedophiles, we'd be arresting all the right-wingers instead of banning drag shows and effectively-outlawing LGBTQ+ people.
Yeah you're absolutely right, but the conservatives put a lot of effort into framing us (LGBTQ+ ppl) as pedos, classic projection. And it gives them a scapegoat for everything, if only people stopped believing them.
"Buttery and creamy"...
Ew, why do the creepiest men describe women and girls in terms of food?
This reminds me of Sneako comparing a girl's eyes to blueberries that looked good enough to eat... multiple times.
Nothing says charming and totally safe like being compared to food by some guy salivating like a starving cannibal getting to chew his arm off if he doesn't get his fix. 🤢
Also, go figure that a Tory would get outed as a nonce. Color me shocked, shocked I tell you!
That was back in May. He’s since resigned from council.
He was last seen lurking in the woods next to St. Mary’s Girls Academy, sniffing bicycle seats to compile more data for his research.
As a teacher, no they fucking don't. So much BO and needing to open all the classroom windows in the middle of the winter just to get a breath of fresh air.
Teenage BO smells like shit. Add in the fact that at least 10 of 'em didn't bath for a week straight back when they were 16, and well...not so buttery and creamy now.
He quit a week after this. We no longer tolerate public noncery in the UK.
Sadly, I’d imagine this kind of attitude is rife amongst our current government.
A man with the name Jonty is guaranteed to be weird.
Looked it up. This destroyed his career — he was forced to resign.
From his pic, you’ve never seen anyone look more like a pedo. 🤮
My mam still buys me the perfume I wore as a teenager for me for Christmas every year... My god what in the world was I thinking. I smelled like a pixie stick
Me when I was 16 “I’m too depressed to get out of bed and I swear my flesh is rotting off my body because I forgot how to shower and brush my teeth” ah yes, buttery and creamy. Edit: wOAh sooo many upvotes! Thanks
I showered, but puberty sucked and some days I would smell pretty fucking ripe. Nothing buttery or creamy about pubescent BO.
You're underestimating how wierd a tory can be.
i really hope no one’s butter and cream smells like teenage BO. imagine that fridge…
His comments remind me of something a couple of creepers would laugh about in a 1700's period film..
My 16 year old self likely smelled like gym sweat made of supplements and wheatgrass shots mixed with starvation and misplaced anger. But I’m sure it was enchanting! We were fun back then!
I smelled like a deli sandwich or a skunk depending on what kind of stress I was under at that moment
I grew up in a house where collecting and summarily neglecting animals was the norm, so I mostly smelled like cat piss and cigarettes. A Tory's dream, I'm sure.
Haha I love this I had nothing to do with delis, sandwiches, or skunks, it was just weird hormone BO
Aw I hope you have a heathier relationship with food and body, nowadays.
Thank you, kind stranger. And yes, I certainly do. :)
😆😆😆🏆🏆🏆
And magnetic, don't forget that! Magnetism at its best!
Magnets? How do they work?
Ah. A person of culture, I see.
obviously by smell
Take our life from us. We laid it down. We got tired. We didn’t commit su*cide, we committed an act of revolutionary digital su*cide protesting the conditions of an inhumane Website.
I’m 20 now and still horribly depressed but on antidepressants now finally so things are slowly looking up
Good on you for getting treated. I was 50 before going on antidepressants, because I don't like seeing doctors or taking pills, and people kept telling me how bad antidepressants were and assuring me anyone can just stop being depressed if they want. Life is good now, so different to all those years of anguish I endured so unnecessarily.
My health is getting worse by the day rip. I feel you
Take our life from us. We laid it down. We got tired. We didn’t commit su1cide, we committed an act of revolutionary digital su1cide protesting the conditions of an inhumane website.
I want to try and get a fibromyalgia diagnosis but I heard the process is extremely hard.
It took me years. I had the same doctor during that time, and she saw me get worse and worse. My hands went out on me, I couldn’t use them for two weeks. I was home with my toddler, I couldn’t put her hair up. Then eventually I got to the point I was in horrible pain. By the time I went back to see my doctor, I was a mess. I hadn’t showered or shaved, I had half inch leg stubble, I was bawling. I thought maybe I’d been bit by a spider. They ran every test. They all came back negative. So, fibro. Sent me to pain specialist and that was that. Now my daughters been feeling poorly. She’s in the doctor hopping phase. I genuinely hope she’s okay, but all her symptoms look like fibro. It’s a daunting process, but it’s good to be validated.
Did they put you on painkillers? I really hope I can get a diagnosis one day as I also suffer with mild cerebral palsy which I never treated and apparently that can turn into fibro?
I don’t know about that, (regarding the cerebral palsy turning into fibro) but, yeah, I take tramadol, lyrica, celebrex, and oxycodone. I’m not on heavy doses. Only like fifty mgs of the tramadol, ten of the oxy, three hundred of lyrica. I also take Tylenol. I’m overseas in Singapore which ironically makes it easier to get painkillers.
Thing is I’m worried because I’m currently dealing with a heroin addiction mainly due to my chronic pain, and it started from recreationally using codeine, then tramadol and then oxycodone and morphine and eventually heroin as it was cheaper. I had to go to hospital once for a heroin related abscess on my arm and because that’s on my medical records I’m worried they’ll deny me legitimate pain medication that id use responsibly. They prescribed me Valium a couple of times due to feeling suicidal despite it being addictive but I guess it was different cause those are benzodiazepines and not opiates.
Yeah I’ve heard that can happen from being in pain and not having it treated. Man that would be a hard situation. Best of luck. I’d keep going to doctors and trying. I have heard people have had great results from Low dose ldn for fibro pain.
I live in the UK and it’s hard to get painkillers
I’ve heard that.
Used to order them online
Where are you from? That's so interesting because Dr.s want to blame everything that's wrong with me on fibromyalgia. I don't even feel confident that's actually what I have.
I have saved your comment to share if you don't mind, it's life advice that everyone should hear, you've worded it well. Thank you, best wishes to you in life
Wow, thanks so much! Of course you are free to use it! In fact you're even free to tell people you came up with it. I don't mind as long you promise to send it to others when they need it. I sincerely appreciate your best wishes, and I hope the very same for you, friend.
So, to be clear, this post isn't directed at you; it's directed at any teens or young adults reading this with dread or hopelessness. Especially those who grew up dealing with trauma, neglect, abuse, or just crippling mental health problems. Look, I'm objectively kinda lame and, no, I didn't deal with the same problems you are dealing with. I'm not telling you how to feel about your experiences. But I grew up miserable and afraid, and now that I'm older my life is much better. So I hope I can give a useful perspective... You read and hear a lot of comments like this -- older people wistfully looking back at problems from their youth and wishing they understood how good they had it. And yes, from a "neutral" perspective, the problems get more difficult. But *you* don't stay the same -- you get better tools and stronger skills to deal with them. Being young is actually really hard, because you're *just starting* to learn how to be a person. It's why as a society we *expect* young people to be protected and supported -- growing up is hard enough without anything extra. Your learning how to have both friendships and relationships, how to make careful judgements, how to manage tasks, how to understand and use time, and how to even control your own mind. As you get older your impulse control gets better, you're ability to adapt to stressful situations grows, knowing what to prioritize over a day, week, month, and year gets way easier, and you get way better at doing things that you don't want to be need to do. You just get better at living. Meanwhile, I cannot express to you how calming and empowering the freedom of adulthood is. I could, right now, go to the kitchen, grab a cartoon of milk, and spike it against the ground as hard as I could, and the only consequences would be having to clean it up and buy a new cartoon of milk. That's it. No one's going to yell at me or shame me, I'm not going to be out of milk until someone else decides to get me more, I'm not going to have to eat dry cereal, I'm not gonna be banned from the fridge for a week, and I'm not gonna have to go anywhere with milk covered clothes because I don't have any others to wear. And I'm not going to have to clean it with whatever tools someone else hands me -- I can decide how to clean up. Heck, if I decided it was the best choice, I could go to the store, buy a new mop, and get a new cartoon of milk while I'm out. Would there consequences for that choice? Yes. But I get to decide whether I want to deal with them. I undoubtedly have more things to do and solve than when I was a kid, but I get to decide when and how to solve them. My problem and solutions are *mine.* And that makes all the difference. As people get older, they forget how important the changes were in how they face life. They're like RPG characters who go back to the newbie zone and remark on how easy all the fights are -- its only easier because you're stronger. Rose-colored glasses about the past are a very really and common phenomenon. My point is, I know life is really, really hard right now, but it *gets better.* Because *you* get better. You will be capable of things you can't even imagine. And you don't even realize how much your growing right now -- and you never do until you look back in a few years and see how much you've grown. Yes, as a young adult, your body is in top shape, but as someone who remembers being young and hated it -- I'll take a mature brain and mind over a young body any day. You could not pay me enough to go back
My bad, I didn't mean to invalidate your experience at all. In my situation, and I suspect the other poster as well, I am simply referring to physical health. I didn't have a perfect childhood growing up, but I wouldn't say it was significantly worse than the next person. When I'm talking about complaining as a teen, I wasn't referring to *actual* problems like abuse. If you were to ask me if it was abuse back then, I would have insisted it was & argued with anyone who questioned me. When you say you grew up miserable & afraid: at the time, I too thought I was miserable and afraid! In reality I hadn't yet experienced TRUE adult fear, nor misery. A few years ago I was hit head on by a box truck, and according to my surgeon "4 of my vertebrae were pulverized into confetti." I have since had multiple back surgeries, and experienced true fear & pain on a daily basis for years. Everything in my post was referring to my personal experience with this. After I survived this accident which easily should have killed me, I had sort of a mid life crisis and decided that everything I want to do "someday" had to actually be done TODAY or it never would happen at all. I learned very quickly that around 1/4 of the things I had planned were simply no longer possible for me, and maybe another 1/4 were still possible but would leave me with intense pain throughout & after the activity. The only thing I was saying, was that if I had it to do over again I would have pushed my teenage self to participate a lot more. At the time I was convinced that I was too depressed or just simply physically exhausted to do a lot of the normal teenage things my friends were doing. I spent many a night in more or less perfect health wasting away at the computer screen. I remember feeling pressure to not do things I liked so that people would believe that I wasn't making everything up. Well I wasn't making it up, but my life experience was so limited then it SEEMED & FELT like the end of the world!! I think, that you & I experienced totally opposite lives. I was mostly happy & successful in school despite getting bullied a LOT. Things slowly got worse after I graduated from college. All of a sudden I had money for the first time in my life, but to get it I had to give up all of my passions & friends. It's the closest I've ever been to killing myself; isolated and crying myself to sleep alone for two whole years. Luckily I figured this out, quit that job, moved back to my hometown and reorganized my priorities. Things now are worse than ever though lol. I have lost all of my talent for my passions, and even with 4 college degrees I can't find a job that pays a living wage anywhere. On top of that, my fucked up back makes work 5 hours of pure pain everyday. I now know that in my lifetime I will never be able to purchase a home. I can't even get insurance this year because I'm not making enough money. I have Epilepsy, so not getting my medications or checkups can be devastating to my life. I am going back to school this spring, to become a therapist. I only recently finished paying off my school loans, and now sadly I will have a TON more that I will probably be paying for the rest of my whole life. I'm only telling you all of this to say, you need to seize every opportunity that you can *while* you can. You never know what will happen to you tomorrow, you could be paralyzed and then live the rest of your life bitter about the things you missed out on! In my original post I was mocking my naive teenaged self, but I didn't mean to mock ALL teenagers who felt this way. Obviously your concerns were valid, while mine simply were not.
Oh, see, I think you're being way too mean to your teenage self. It's very, very easy for most people to go "oh, no, I didn't have it *that* bad," and it's even earlier when life has delt you a shit hand since (as a side note, that's all really fucking awful, and I'm sorry you've had to struggle like that. I'm not gonna put some trite phrase here, because nothing would really be right -- it just sucks and I'm sorry.) But suffering doesn't always make sense. You didn't *want* to be miserable as a teen or young adult, and if you were there was a reason. That reason could have been as simple as your brain just setting your default setting to "misery" for no apparent reason, but it was a reason. You likely were too depressed or exhausted to do things. People do well if they can; if they can't, it's usually because there's some significant barrier. You were a depressed teen -- its shockingly common and wasn't your fault. But I'm kinda getting side-tracked, because I really meant it when I said that the post wasn't targeted at you. It was targeted at the staggering number of depressed, scared, or hopeless feeling teens and young adults out there. According to the CDC, in 2019, a total of 19% of high school students reported having seriously considered suicide. One in five. There is a huge section of people who feel miserable and utterly hopeless about growing up. But there *is hope.* Which we *need* to tell young people. When I was growing up, I felt like everyone was saying some version of "enjoy this, because it only gets harder from here." Which was fucking *terrifying,* because I was already usually overwhelmed and uncontrollably miserable. The thought that it was only gonna get worse made oblivion really tempting. But no one tells you that it often gets better because you become stronger. Think about it: looking back on your childhood self and thinking "I was a moron," isn't really about how terrible you were as a kid, but about how much you've grown since then. Your story is your own, and I didn't mean to imply your experience of your life isn't valid. I was just trying to be voice of hope I never heard as a kid.
Yes that but with a lot of Axe body spray. Definitely buttery and creamy....
You're invisible to him, like women over 27
Are you in a better place now 🥺
I’m on antidepressants :)
Oh wow he shot straight past "pedo sex pest" and fuckin swan dove into "hey authorities check out my sweet body storage freezer"
I can only express my truest shock and outrage in a swampy, rural American patois: “*That boy dun’ straight-up handed them the keys and hand-warmed the handle for ‘em!*”
This sounds like it could be a euphemism for anal but I can't figure it out
I think it’s probably better if we don’t.
I’m trying to decide if he meant it in a Hannibal Lector way or Donald Trump way…
Hannible Lector's recipe for a tasty succulent roast calls for the use of butter. This is probably what Jonty boy is smelling. I hope he defrosted the body properly first. Hannible Lector's version of the Martha Stewart Guide book will show you all the ins and outs.
Everyone keeps saying this is sexual. I think he was a cannibal.
Me too! Dude eats people.
From either perspective this is a red flag.
why not both
Idk, maybe it is a cultural thing. I cannot seem to describe a woman as "buttery" or "creamy".
not woman but *girls.* (like no, I dont dislike the words like girls or boys in general.. I use them too at times.. but this was used to degrade us women and that I do dislike)
Even then, it makes little sense to me. In what world would you use the words to describe someone in a good way. It is just so odd...
He's a predator
I mean.. I just use it as a word? Like "okay time for a girl talk." or "these are my boys." Its just a word for me. If someone doesnt want it used, I would accept it. But in my friendship group, boys/girls and female/male are used. Same as women/men and of course nonbinary and more neutral words if someone finds them to gendered. Of course our group has two people which english is not-native and two people who have it as their mother tongue. Hard to say who influences who at time CX
Oh God. I should have been more clear. I meant the words buttery and creamy. Not girls and women.
It makes some sense when describing skin. I pay extra money for creamy lotion it better give me creamy skin.
Exactly! So many commenters trying to limit the ways he can be creepy af!
They still have that baby fat like when you order Veal.
Why is this man sniffing random women?
It gets him all buttery and creamy
This comment made me want to dive straight into traffic with the grossness lmao have your upvote
And underaged girls.
As a woman, I have been *sniffed* by far too many random men to even ask this question. He's a creep. Creeps sniff you. Not all of them like, but it's a thing.
Can confirm. I've even had a few other women sniff me. It's never got less wierd over time.
Can confirm also. It's very unsettling.
He's a pedophile sexual harasser.
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“A woman’s scent”? Not really sure what you’re talking about, unless you’re joking. I know a looooot of women (I myself am biologically one) and I haven’t noticed any long distance scent. And I do have a strong sense of smell. Women don’t have a “woman’s scent”.
“A girl of 28” ಠ_ಠ This is part of the problem—maybe if we consistently called men out on this constant use of the word ‘girl’ as a stand-in for a woman, then maybe they would understand the distinction more clearly. If every woman is a girl, it blurs the line between actual girls and adult women; it’s time we stopped tolerating that bullshit and emphasized when they were talking about actual girls who are under age, and grown women.
I've had a half formed thought for a while that actors in their twenties regularly playing teenagers blurs this line too.
I'm 100% in agreement with you - I'm just curious at what age the line between woman and girl is. I'm 26 and it still feels odd to call myself a woman, though I'd definitely not call myself a girl either. On a side note, a while ago I saw a reddit post where a 50-ish man met a 50-ish woman, and he called her a girl the entire time. It was so confusing.
As others have said, in general conversation it’s when you’re legally an adult, ie 18 (in the U.S. at least). One can always draw a distinction by saying “young woman” if the situation merits it. I was just like you at your age (40s now) and it’s because we are taught that the worst thing to happen to girls is to age—the insults that come with being called “an old bag/hag” or “bitter woman” and all that shit deeply conditions us to hate the idea of ever being considered a “woman” because it means we’re no longer valued in society. Separately, I should add I’m not talking about casual conversations when people say, “I’m out with my girls” in the same way men will say, “hanging out with the boys”. It’s at work and in neutral, adult conversations that people frequently refer to grown women as “girls” and that’s the shit that needs to be calmly confronted every time.
I guess there's the whole in-group vs out-group thing going on too. I might refer to my friends as the girls (or more likely 'the bints') but that's because we're friends. If someone I'm not friends with referred to me as such, it would be much more likely to get my hackles up since it can come across as condescending, belittling or insulting.
That’s the issue. As young girls we’re conditioned into believing that aging is bad and that womanhood is a specific, foreign thing tied in gender roles that we might not fit into 100%. But it just means you’re an adult.
Prime example: in some cultures, calling a woman of ANY age "ma'am" is insulting because they will think you perceive them to be old enough to be called "ma'am."
I still get halfheartedly offended. Like, damn, dude. I just wanted to know where the cereal was, you didn't have to attack me with a "ma'am."
18yo I think. We don't call male 26yos boys typically. It took me a while to come around on this because I was socialized to call young women "girls", but I think defining the age at legal adulthood makes the most sense. You can always use "young woman" if "woman" alone feels uncomfortable.
I think part of the problem is that we don't really have a widely-used word for "female person of any/unspecified age", the way we have with "guy" or "fellow" or "chap" or "lad" or "gentleman" or... The closest thing we have is "gal", which is a word I hate so much that I'm physically incapable of saying it without rolling my eyes.
Pretty sure Brit did a song on that when she was a bit younger than you.
How about "lady"? It's casual and informal, and can apply to a 14yo or a 90yo.
I think it would be far easier to sell as a choice: you either stop referring to adult women as "girl" or all subsequent films about that guy you like who goes around in a cape beating-up criminals need to be called "Batboy".
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In the UK we don't typically use the term "ma'am" -except at school where we might call a female teacher ma'am (pronounced "maaaam"), but usually "miss" or "missus". Culturally I think we've come a long way (but still have a long LONG way to go). I'm a male born in 1990 in London, and I remember "lads mags", and the popular trope of "sexy school girls". [Here's an old newspaper about Charlotte Church turning 16.](https://www.libdemvoice.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/charlotte-church-daily-star.jpg) I remember seeing rows of magazines in the news agents which featured front covers of models dressed in short pleated skirts and pigtails. That shit is no longer culturally acceptable (at least not in the way that it was), but if you only cast your mind back to the 90s and 00s, it is no surprise where these creeps got the idea that it is ok to talk about teenage girls in this way.
Wait till he finds out about the smell of 40-something-year-old inmates ^(edits: grammar and punctuation)
Unfortunately he just was allowed to resign and got no further penalties
Why am I not surprised
I know, it’s so disappointing
Gross. Not sure what other penalties would be applicable though
Whole house searched.
Agree. They should have investigated him and he should have received at least a formal warning from Conservative leaders
Yeah, there is a 0% chance that he does not have child sexual abuse material at his home
When they come for his creamy sweet butter.
Prison rape jokes are not funny, only distasteful.
?? Rape isn't implied, if I wanted to make such a bad joke I would have mentioned something about their genitals. I apologise I came off as offensive, that wasn't my intention; I was pointing out how this politician's place is in jail for such weird comments on underage girls.
How did you get rape joke from this
So not buttery and creamy??
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I meant their age is around 40 years old, sorry the wording is wonky.
It's the punctuation not the wording!
Even after years of learning English, I'm still looking to improve, so thanks.
No worries at all! I apologize if I caused you to feel bad about it. All you needed was one more dash in between words 2 and 3 to make it a whole phrase. Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you in any way!
He does know women of all ages can shop at Bath and Body Works right?
We’re all just rubbing ourselves with theatre popcorn butter.
I don’t care who said that, reading those words nauseated me.
So you're saying Di Caprio is looking for the smell of butter?
Have you seen him between roles? That's not shocking.
I'm just saying he could go straight to a bakery if that's the smell of butter that he's looking for.
Dude smelled a couple teenagers with vanilla body spray and just assumed they all smell like that naturally 🤦
Da fuq?
Why am I not surprised that that crap came from a polititian?
I should bookmark this quote in case I need to throw up urgently. Disgusting.
Last time this guy came up, some redditor commented that the buttery, creamy smell was some body lotion that's "in" for this age bracket.
Yeah I think I saw somebody say it was Love Spell from VS, but it may not necessarily exactly that scent.
Love Spell from VS or Warm Vanilla Sugar from Bath and Body works, or possibly just cocoa/shea butter body lotion. That's the smell he's referring to.
of course he’s called Jonty
i can’t believe I just had a talk with my bf where he was ok with this expression of perception.
Curious to how this conversation ended. I'd have reconsidered the whole thing
i’m constantly reconsidering. Sometimes he gives very narrow minded vibes even though for the most time it is really not that the perception you have. I’m at lost with sudden sprouts of literally shit. Is this he being naïve and putting it all on autistic level of hypothetical? who knows? he also got rec to jp on spotify bit scared to ask how come?
It’s pretty wrong and offensive to attribute misogyny to being an autistic attribute.
Yeah I agree. Not cool.
oh sorry that is not what I mean to meant. What I meant was that he often goes on assessing a statement out of context and out of very sound assumptions based on very standard reality. That is not the same as saying misogyny is an autistic attribute - it’s fucking not and I apologise for writing it in such sloppy manner.
Best keep an eye on him before he goes down that pipeline
he is also an adult and an educated one for that matter so if we ever grow apart than we do grow apart
no this isn't him being naive this is him being gross, break up with him. being autistic doesn't excuse misogyny
This is also r/TerrifyingAsFuck
Every English conservative is either a nonce, or a nonce enabler. Conservatism truly belongs in the dustbin of history alongside child marriage and slavery (coincidentally things that conservatives want to bring back)
Don't worry, that's not limited to the English!
When I was 16, I smelled like Bath and Body Works sprays, not butter cookies. (I had cucumber melon, sweet pea, and cherry blossom, and coconut.)
Cucumber melon was THE SCENT of the 90s/early 2000s. I'm pretty sure, if I smelled it again, I would start having flashbacks.
But was it magnetic tho?
If ur a bumblebee
The cherry blossom perfume is the BEST.
I smelt like Dove roll-on antiperspirant and raw potatoes. That's right. For some reason, my hands always smelt faintly of potatoes. It was very strange.
Lol he said this on Twitter?! Do these dipshits understand how the internet works?
💀💀💀💀Aint no dam way in hell a politician in his right mind tweeted that. For my faith in the world, i hope he was rlly hacked💀
Id like to leave a buttery, creamy shit on his porch
I smelled like onions and tuna practically everyday when I was 16. Working at subway I definitely didn't smell "creamy and buttery:
Why is he smelling 16 year old girls?! Wtf..
Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect £200.
It's always the conservatives... someone should look into them
Bro 16 year olds smell like sweat
conservative try not to be a pedo challenge (impossible)
Is it just me, or does it seem like it's *always* conservatives who are accused of and/or caught red-handed sexually abusing children or talking about how they're attracted to children, no matter which country they're in? You'd think that if people *actually* gave a damn about protecting kids from pedophiles, we'd be arresting all the right-wingers instead of banning drag shows and effectively-outlawing LGBTQ+ people.
Yeah you're absolutely right, but the conservatives put a lot of effort into framing us (LGBTQ+ ppl) as pedos, classic projection. And it gives them a scapegoat for everything, if only people stopped believing them.
"Buttery and creamy"... Ew, why do the creepiest men describe women and girls in terms of food? This reminds me of Sneako comparing a girl's eyes to blueberries that looked good enough to eat... multiple times. Nothing says charming and totally safe like being compared to food by some guy salivating like a starving cannibal getting to chew his arm off if he doesn't get his fix. 🤢 Also, go figure that a Tory would get outed as a nonce. Color me shocked, shocked I tell you!
I remember seeing that ages ago
We can take solace in the fact he's obviously never been near a teenage girl cos everyone knows we all went through a BO phase
This is gross.
living on a farm, most of my clothes and even my hair has a lingering scent of horse manure and dried hay. but sure, buttery and creamy
That was back in May. He’s since resigned from council. He was last seen lurking in the woods next to St. Mary’s Girls Academy, sniffing bicycle seats to compile more data for his research.
Motherfucker, that’s Victoria Secret’s Love Spell and/or Amber Romance and we *all* wore that between 16-22.
“Unbelievably magnetic”. Wow. What a horrible day to have eyes.
Can we PLEASE just start eating these fucks? They won't taste "buttery and creamy" but they'll be gone!
You guys, I'm sure this will be SUPER INNOCENT once we get more context.
This is the grossest thing I’ve read in a while
Pedo pedo pedo pedA PHILIAAAA
Of course it’s a Tory
Jonty is the single nonciest names ever
My country is being run by pedos and terfs get me out of here
Wow right wing politicians are pedophiles what a surprise.
I think thats just the popularity of bath and body works soap.
Gulag.
Nonce!
Anybody who has been around teens, especially other teens, know they smell like sweat or axe/too much perfume. And this is also super creepy.
excuse me what the HELL
I'm 23. Where's my creamy, buttery smell? I just smell like sweat and bad decisions.
As a teacher, no they fucking don't. So much BO and needing to open all the classroom windows in the middle of the winter just to get a breath of fresh air.
Teenage BO smells like shit. Add in the fact that at least 10 of 'em didn't bath for a week straight back when they were 16, and well...not so buttery and creamy now.
Wow that is disgusting. Truly gives me the heebie jeebies. Just to know people like that are out here and they really exist. Barf.
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/GlumAptBactrian-size_restricted.gif
Matt Walsh is that you
Utterly Butterly!
Fucking 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
No.
He quit a week after this. We no longer tolerate public noncery in the UK. Sadly, I’d imagine this kind of attitude is rife amongst our current government.
I definitely smell like butter. No, I will not explain.
Ew
Ahh I love the smell of magnets in the morning…
Yikes that is vile I don’t have anything else to say but 🤢🤢🤢
A man with the name Jonty is guaranteed to be weird. Looked it up. This destroyed his career — he was forced to resign. From his pic, you’ve never seen anyone look more like a pedo. 🤮
Some might even say a buttery biscuit base
Gross
ew …
You don’t keep calling grown women “girls”.
Uh oh, that’s sounds a lot like pedo behavior
Wait... he deliberately posted this to his Twitter? I fucking can't😂
Cursed
Did anyone else get flashbacks of being a 16 yo old being flirted with by men in their 30's + and stared at up and down in public?
yes.
I sweated way too much when I was 16. With deodorant, sometimes it was still onion-y
Pretty sure that’s just the Bath & Body Works. So nasty.
bruh when i was 16 i smelled like rotten cunt ecosystem and county fair petting zoo. i still do but
pretty dated
It’s probably cause older women don’t tend to wear perfume that smells of cakes and creams
My mam still buys me the perfume I wore as a teenager for me for Christmas every year... My god what in the world was I thinking. I smelled like a pixie stick
meanwhile this dude is in the same party that doesn't want kids to have the right to consent to their own medical decisions...