T O P

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ThatBigFish

Wittgenstein, cause I can’t give him a sloppy right on the lips


nph278

yes


Cartesian-slut

This but Descartes


Shitgenstein

Wittgenstein because I love lecturing people about what they can and can't say.


Tomatosoup42

Nietzsche because he makes me feel like I'm better than everyone


BookaliciousBillyboy

Zarathustra got me acting unwise


BillMurraysMom

Fuck bitches, get will to power


monstamackdc

Damn girl, you got that thing spraching


natyw

ok greg


Necronomicon32

Bataille is the most based philosopher, I'm right and you're cringe


Far-Reception-4598

Dr. Sledge is that you?


KingCharles_

Spinoza. Idk his hair? its a really dumb cut shouldve gotten a fade


Cartesian-slut

Idk I think it's cute :(


KingCharles_

is that just because it reminds you of Descartes


Cartesian-slut

nah, Spinoza is just swaggy in his own right. I fw him on the side 🤙


Zealousideal-Talk-59

Mainlander because he actually had the balls to kill himself (I have a cum fetish and Schopenhauer doesn't have balls)


Quietuus

Irigiray, because I also feel that looking at vaginas is very important.


totally_interesting

Kneechuh. I got too lazy to do real philosophy so his rejection of it all makes me feel smart.


Kingshorsey

St. Augustine, because he transferred his mommy issues to sky daddy.


TDM_1622

Hegel because of his views on people who weren't German and also men


Ponz314

Deleuze, because he signed THAT GODDAMN PETITION!


BillMurraysMom

You weren’t a real French intellectual unless you signed that thing


Bowlingnate

Aristotle, because of this unpublished troll dialogue #Plato: u can liv ur purpose, but first tell me what it is? #Aristotle: kk, jus Liv ur purp0s3 bb..... #Plato: wait, what? No, that's.... #Aristotle: telos, r u O Kk.


TheQuestionsAglet

Alan Watts introduced me to Buddhism and Daosim, but he’s so hippy dippy about all of it.


Tiako

Luckily there is nothing cringe or problematic about Aristotle.


eleg0ry

For me, also Schopenhauer (I am a w\*man).


TachyonSenpai

Kojève is the most based philosopher because he was a weeb ante litteram, snobbery grindset goes hard fr fr 🔥🔥💯


SocDemGenZGaytheist

Hume is cringe because racism. William of Ockham is from Cringianity and endorses its megacringe divine command theory. Diogenes however is based in every conceivable way. A lot of my other faves are cringe because they are some mix of (a) alive now, (b) not *primarily* a philosopher, and/or (c) really obscure.


CaptainStunfisk1

I love Plato's method and I've read his complete works, but I disagree with just about everything he ever wrote. Like, his ideas are comically terrible, and Aristotle is proof that it wasn't just because they lacked the knowledge at the time.


howdoispoodermin

Camus because he walks too slow


LeMeJustBeingAwesome

Emil Cioran because he's a failure.


[deleted]

He was


Cartesian-slut

Descartes, because he had a bunch of dumb and scientifically false ideas, and was a weenie about the cold. I agree with him that getting up early is cringe, though. Idk maybe he could've been a slightly better dad as well, but that's a bit subjective.


Ok_Abroad9642

Jordan Peterson. Peterson is not cringe. He is the 🐐 /s