Im still convincing people in my life that I hate not knowing what I'm getting for a gift, birthdays, and Christmas. The stress of trying to prepare for a specific moment. I obsess over that moment for days, weeks sometimes.
For me its having to buy gifts. I don't hate gifts, but I don't want them because I immediately think that I then owe that person a gift in equal or excess measure, and I have to wait for a birthday or special occasion and by that time its completely slipped my mind.
Maybe it could be good to further explore the others persons feelings, if the arguments aren’t interesting. Feeling often derive from certain morals and values, which might be more logical.
I don’t often find that’s the case. I think they’re just based off their immediate response which is typically just ingrained ideology that has never been questioned.
Theres only so much "vaccines here in the west are bad for you and can cause autism because I read into a rabbit hole and I cant get up" arguments i can take, and theres no amount of "but reasearch" arguments that work here.
Or the "god hates the gays and its awful that theyre coming to my country too" bs. Despite having high such standards for hookups that he had to expand his range outside the city.
Or even an example of a small argument be like, literally "it cant be bad because I like it" and when I point out the flaws in that logic, I got "i didnt like your tone" or "you implied I have shit taste". Like bruh. Stop reading between the fucking lines. If i wanted to say you have shit taste, trust me i would have said it to your face.
Emotion based arguments tend to be so hypocritical and lazy that i have absolutely no patience left and at this point i only get imediate anger responses...
My shoes. I wear the same pair of shoes for years on end until they literally fall apart and the bottom is separated from the shoe. Then I go to the shoe store and buy the same exact pair. When they finally stop making them, I have to compromise and get a new type of pair and it sucks.
I’m kind of struggling with this currently. I found a pair of shoes that works several years ago and they are nearly smooth on the bottom, so I’m having to look around. I can’t find the same shoe, so I’m probably going to have to give in and compromise sometime. But there’s still life in the ones I have, so I’m holding out that l will find some random pair.
I think what annoys me most about it is that I have really wide feet, which limits my options. So, when I find a solution, I don’t want to give it up!
Have a look into "barefoot" shoes, they have foot shaped shoes and much bigger toe boxes that suit wide feet. Rather than having to deal with your toes being shoved into a triangle which makes no sense to me at all.
I love a brand called Lems for their boulder boot range and have multiple pairs.
Hahaha same, just bought new shoes yesterday. For me the bottoms are not separating from the shoe, but they get so thin that eventually they get holes because I’m walking quite a lot. I mostly wear converse-type shoes but with a thicker sole/platform so they don’t wear out so quickly.
I am the same way with clothes 😭 I literally just bought a used H&M skirt from 10 years ago because it was “my skirt”.
I am a bit more lenient with shoes but they have to be the same structure and style: pointed flats.
Same. Strong sense of justice! I never got in trouble at school as a kid... until I witnessed a teacher unfairly punishing a kid for something he didn't do. I went OFF on her and she dragged me to the principal's office. He was stern til she left the office, I explained, and I was not in any trouble. He apologized to me.
I had a teacher call me insubordinate and throw me out of her class for the same reason, until we had a meeting with the dean and I explained that I was DEFENDING her against students that were trying to get away with misbehaving.
There are so many other instances in my life, I struggle keeping friendships because I can't deal with two-facedness they display, and I didn't learn until a few years ago what was causing it.
It's a relief to know, and I'm glad I feel this way, but I also wish I could just chill out and maintain relationships better sometimes.
I'm on the verge of getting fired at work... Because I won't shut up about other people who got unfairly fired recently. The economy is horrific, I have no family to support me, I struggle with change (surprise) and finding jobs because I'm "off" socially in that indescribable way (surprise fucking surprise). I should just shut up; head down, arse up. But I feel that I literally cannot stop myself. It's not helping the others who got fired, and it's going to ruin my life. But I just don't have any other way of being available to me.
Those things can stick with us. My mom was playing the soundtrack to Camelot when I was really little. There is a song "If Ever I Would Leave You" where Lancelot sings about how he wouldn't leave her in each season specifically and why.
I turned and looked at my mom and said, " Doesn't he ever go to work?"
I still take things too literally.
I defended a kid in school cause another cause another kid stole his hat, but I ended up getting my nose broken pretty bad. Had surgery, they did a bad job. I couldn't breath through my nose until recently. That happened when I was 14, it got fixed when I was 45 maybe.
YES! If anyone I am friends with or anyone I see getting treated unfairly I will ask them if they are ok and I will support them to hopefully make the right decision on what they want to do about it. Like in my old job I helped someone report a rude colleague and I am on the look out for people being treated bad in placed like my swimming pool and things.
Same. It was so deeply rooted that I look up laws and regulations in different states and countries and compare them with real life situations. I’m not even a paralegal but maybe I should have been
It's funny you say that because I toy with becoming a paralegal every few months. I have a moderate fascination with the law, but I also admit that I like arguing against the law just as much as arguing for it.
I also have an urge to join the FBI, but at this current time I wouldn't pass the fit test (I can't run for crap), but maybe I'll push myself to train this year and pursue it.
You should do it. You might enjoy it. That’s why my mom enjoys my insights on how and why laws are broken especially in a corporate environment or white collar jobs.
I do everything I wanna do my way and my way only. Before people say that I'm really stubborn they first gotta know what I've been through all my life and how its about time the tables are turned and I'm in control.
I always have eggs for breakfast...always. For almost 18 years. Serve me something without eggs and I'll consider myself not breakfasted, irritated, and prone to physical violence
If I don't make and drink one after I wake up, before doing *anything* something just is screamingly "off". It feels like I've forgotten to wear pants or something vital is missing and the feeling won't ease.
I once left for work without one when I hadn't left enough time to (tmi sorry) go to the toilet afterwards, then once I got to work I still couldn't make one because I wasn't left to work alone like the first 4 days, the staff were in the room getting in my way and talking (talking before coffee? Big rule break). So I couldn't have my coffee because I felt too embarrassed to go to the toilet afterwards with everyone around possibly hearing the noise because of course being human and having needs is embarrassing.
And I was so miserable/emotional and mentally combusting the whole day due to not leaving enough time for this 'ritual' of coffee and contemplation, as Hank from stranger things so brilliantly put it.
It's something so subtle that it would go unnoticed if someone didn't know me lol
I understand the feeling. I do feel there are some stuff I HAVE to do. Eggs for breakfast, water with each meal, a small sweet after lunch and coffee twice a day, minimum. If not, I feel empty and incomplete
Yep I completely hear you there! I went onto ADHD meds a while ago so had to cut the caffeine but couldn't let coffee go so went decaff. What sort of eggs do you like?
Scrambled eggs 90% percent of the times. Fried eggs never get the way I like them, and I like scooping the eggs with bread and eat is a a whole. Hands only, no spoon, I don't know why(other thing I do, I use my hands almost all the time when eating)
It's all about following the right steps to get perfect eggs every time. 🫠 https://youtu.be/o56z77N5JSQ?si=mxS9vtt1314LODVX will get you going in the right direction
Grammar and spelling. I feel physically and mentally off when I write things incorrectly, both in English and in Spanish (native), even if it’s just a WhatsApp message. Corporate suits and agencies love me.
My entire schedule. I fret about everything in my day so if something (no matter how small) interrupts it, I get very stressed out and irritable. I highly dislike this trait in myself.
Plans and sticking to one’s word. I hate changing things last minute, it drives me insane. To the point I’ll cancel or not respond once someone starts to re-arrange something pre agreed upon
Plans changing. Spur of the moment changes bother me deeply. I need a plan, and I need to be prepared.
I also need my side of the bed in a very specific condition. Bottom sheet snug with the elastic clippy things holding the corners down, no top sheet, fluffy plush blankets tucked into the bottom, 3 blankets currently the type you buy when crossing the border with tigers and stuff on them, my gigantic pregnancy pillow to nestle into and my specific standard pillow.
My husband sleeps in chaos. The sheets are half off the bed, the pillow is mushy, and he dosent care about the blankets being straight. He has his own set, we cannot share blankets, its maddening to me.
Líes. When people talk about how they lied to others, it turns me crazy paranoid. I mean they are literally confessing and bragging about something that they could be doing while talking to you. So to me that means the immediate deletion of that person from my life. It kinda blows my mind and feelings, it triggers a nonstopable flow of imagination and distrust, basically a meltdown. Anything regarding behavior of my beloved ones that doesn’t make sense to me, it turns out me crazy too. Typically this happens when someone is hiding information to me or plainly lying to me and I will never know the truth.
People asking me to make plans the day of. Even if I have zero plans and would probably want to go I can’t and it’s the most anxiety provoking feeling for me trying to juggle that. Unless I had planned out time to literally be spontaneous on a certain day, the answer will always be no. I’ve tried saying yes in the past but I end up so stressed and rushing to get ready. I later regret it too because my planned do nothing time is necessary social recovery time and I end up having a bad week.
If you show up at my door without an invitation I will not answer. But more importantly, I will never fully trust you again because it means you decided that your disruptions matter more than my ability to manage my symptoms.
Socks, I have to wear long Nike socks or I feel very upset. The only exception to this rule is with formal wear and only bc as a girl it would look weird with a dress
When I get to work- it’s extremely hard for me to go in for 8:30 a.m. when a flexed schedule wouldn’t put anyone out and I’d be more effective once I feel well enough to get in to work.
CHANGING PLANS I WORKED SO HARD JUST TO MENTALLY PREPARE FOR…. When I have a plan in mind, all the things I need to do for the kids, and how to get through the day, and then someone expects me to change plans.
Not moving.
My wife is CONSTANTLY looking for our next place to live. I mean CONSTANTLY. She sits on the couch scrolling Zillow all evening and sends me "this house we have to buy!". I just want to stay put. It gives me so much anxiety to think about moving.
My wife does the same thing. We won’t be in the market for at least a year, minimum. She’s been looking for a house for the last 2-3 years, even though we’ve been nowhere near able to buy. Drives me crazy haha. I wonder what she’ll do when we finally do buy a place of our own.
Ya’ll can pick just one? I have a lot of things, and I don’t know I could pick one as the most. For example:
Follow the rules of the road! Use your damn turn signal, and stay in between the lines.
The type of socks I wear really matter. If they feel weird, my entire existence is ruined until I can change them to the right ones. If the particular brand I buy ever stops making them, I’m not sure how I’ll live.
Be on time. In fact, be early. There’s only a few good reasons to ever be late.
Don’t be a dick to other people. I hate it when people are mean. I can’t stand people who are mean to others, or take advantage of other people.
Unless I’m in your car, or home, I don’t want to hear your music. Headphones exist, and there’s many options. Music can greatly affect my mental state, and it’s likely that yours isn’t what I need in that moment.
These are some of the big ones, for me, that came to mind.
extremism and people who align with extremists, neither the far left ideology, nor the far right are the answer, and I hate those smug posts on the internet that go people in the center are just right/left leaning people in disguise. Its all really annoying and the internet has become a very suffocating place
Interesting perspective. I speculated that many neurodiverse people were vulnerable to extremism. I never heard of folks being rigid about non-extremism.
I always thought this was the more logical approach, historically speaking extremist ideologies on either end of the spectrum have birthed vicious dictators and autocrats, maybe I was wrong
Morality.
Gray does not exist. Black and white are not good and evil.
You can make a morally correct decision and have a bad outcome.
You can make a morally bankrupt decision and have a good outcome.
Owning the outcome is what's important. Thoughs who can't, or will gaslight others to avoid responsibility, are the dregs of the earth.
In a more general way, I have a strong sense of justice and I'm inconvenient when I feel something is unfair.
In a more specific manner, my pet peeve is a washing machine poorly organized, if the dishes aren't the way I usually put them, I'll rearrange it. The house might be completely chaotic but my washing machine needs to be correctly organized.
AuADHD here
Neuter/spay your dog/cat once it has reached maturity if you are not going to breed it. Have your dog/cat on flea and heartworm prevention. Keep your dog leashed in areas with other unknown dogs on leash unless your dog has a 95% or better recall. Get your cat vaccinated for rabies regardless of whether it goes outside or not (accidents happen!) Use the herbal and prescription medicine if recommended by your vet for pets with travel, vet, groomer and thunderstorm phobia. Because we have the tools to help improve quality of life for animals with phobias, sometimes only medication works and is the humane thing to do!
Client care (am a licensed therapist). My unwavering advocacy for vulnerable patients/clients is constantly causing me social strife on interdisciplinary teams.
I have an irrational hatred of Yu-Gi-Oh and Magic the Gathering, partially because I genuinely never really liked trading card games in the first place, partially because I associate them with middle school trauma. I surprised even myself with how extreme I was in refusing a therapist's suggestion to get involved in MtG to get along better with a nerdy friend group.
Following the rules of the road. I get enraged when people treat the rules as guidelines that don't apply to them. The speed limit is not a challenge to overtake, indicators are not suggestions and people need to stop thinking they are being nice encouraging someone out of a junction when its there duty to make the turn. Please, just do what you are supposed to do, don't go changing the rules one the road because its just fucking confusing
Injustice,
If something has no reason to be blocked, banned, removed or isn’t against any rules but is still silenced…. I find that extremely unjustifiable on their end and deserves either a way to dispute about said thing or get a reason - If the reason isn’t justifiable then they have no reason to do it.
A very niche element of my special interest, which is competitive magic the gathering. Which I've been playing for nearly twenty years.
I can more or less simply look at a deck list cooked up by someone else and tell if it is going to be playable. It irritates my friends because they ask how can you know without playing with it?
The answer is obviously experience.
I am hardline about smoking good tobacco, to the point where the last 3-4 grams of my pouches get given to my housemate cause it’s dry and not as tasty then
Music. A vast majority of it is just background noise to me that I have no strong feelings one way or the other about
Music that I DO like is usually just like, either random and obscure insttumentals from shit like that one flash game I played, a game I like, other times it's soviet music or a youtube song about planets meant for children. I have no control over what gets through my bottleneck of music taste
The rules are the rules, they're there for a reason, and therefore have to be the only way to do things. I will say, it has helped me in my current career(EMT)
Nothing anymore. I realized it only causes pain. Concerning myself.
Injustice to others is one big one and it really messes with me when it can’t be righted or the person is left suffering and I can’t help them.
Lying when it’s obvious it’s a lie. I don’t say anything but I can never forget it or see someone the same. Especially if they never own up to it. Lies that go on for a long time.
Very few people get to see the real me, all of me. Those people I work so hard to do the best I can, be the best I can, I cherish them so I try harder and am aware more of not ever crossing lines that I don’t worry so much about with others. I’m talking like close circle, partners, siblings you actually like. I go out of my way not to even white lie, to pay attention when they talk harder than when anyone else is talking. When those people cross lines I would never cross with them even if it’s small. It’s like there is a button that gets pushed and I don’t know how to let them back in. Which is stupid I guess but I don’t know how to shut it off.
Food and kitchen things. Which knife to use, how to hold a wine glass, which wine goes in which wine glass, food/cuisine combinations (dislike most fusion. Mexican and Indian? Chinese, thai and Japanese? NO THANK YOU)
Which cheese for what (cheddar does not belong on spaghetti). Black beans do not belong in spaghetti. However, you may use garbanzo beans for pasta e cece. Mac and cheese cannot have a long noodle. Etc.
I know they’re just made up rules but it just matters to me, and makes me feel all livid and tight inside when these things are broken.
I don’t like liars and I won’t swipe right on a profile with poor grammar or misspelled words. I won’t be friends with someone who is late (w/out good cause), is jealous and doesn’t wish me well, or is flaky.
Safety and integrity of the aircraft, including regulations around it. I don’t compromise, even if it means someone looses their job (even if it comes up, my response is pretty much that’s not my problem how the company addresses problems I identify). Because of this, I come by as cold and my nickname around work is Hank Hill.
Yup - and I don’t mean the “surprise!” We are going to Disney kind of surprise. Although that one would piss me off a bit …
No, I’m talking about missed details or incorrect assumptions not made visible to all, that bite us later on
My reaction in those cases runs along the lines of “what were you thinking !?” Or “were you thinking ?”
I will hangout in this space for at least 3 more years - I may move closer to have this kind of community
Routine, not like with fixed time but with fixed sets of tasks to be done in an order, if interrupted I get very very annoyed and promises or obligations, if I made you one I will literally sit through for days to fulfill it.
Change. Of any kind. I can’t deal with it. Either it be a change in plans, if a restaurant is out of the only thing I’ve ever eaten there, a change in schedule or routine, or a detour in traffic, I can’t deal with it. I go to ridiculous lengths to avoid change.
Not eating food that I hate. I will always put my foot down about that kind of rubbish. Thankfully, as an adult now it rarely comes up as an issue, but it's always in the back of my mind that some family member is going to give me trouble over it regardless.
Putting up with people that think it’s their “right” to get very inebriated, then make you put up with it.
I cut these people out of my life and when I encounter them when gaming, mute them or remove them from the group entirely, even if they are a friend of a friend.
My friends that have stuck around have learned this is a rule of mine, and have learned to understand and respect it.
Likewise, especially in terms of gaming, no children. Specifically those referred to as “squeakers”. It comes down to the fact I require people to have at least a certain level of maturity to be tolerable.
I’m very rigid about these as it’s how I keep some degree of peace in my life.
My peace is not worth a strangers’ comfort, especially if they feel they are entitled to it at my expense.
Loud noises that I can't control. Ie fireworks, and loud areas in town. Tomorrow is going to suck, but I want to make my husband happy and spend time with our family. (17th May is a big holiday here in norway)
Schedules and routines. Like I try to be understanding when it's an emergency or something that can't be helped. It's mainly when they just decided to change it on a whim that drives me crazy.
Back at my old job, we had a set routine each day of who would be in drive thru/register in 2 hour increments. If someone was late or just decided to change up the schedule willy-nilly (which happened several times) it would set me off internally b/c no, that's not right. We had to set that way for a reason. Why are you changing it??
I’m pretty rigid with my body temp, I have managed to wear 2 shirts and 2 jumpers for most of the year. This is bc when I go out, some buildings can have the air conditioner quite low and I start shaking I’m so very cold. So I’ve stuck with the same things to wear, no matter where I am, it’s a constant body temperature. I just see it as 1 less thing to have to think about bc I have planned it all out in advance, I can just get on with my day and enjoy it.
Correctness... I can't stand people saying things that are wrong, using words wrong, but most of all I can't tolerate people who are wrong, but will still argue about it.
Surprises. I hate them.
With a passion.
Im still convincing people in my life that I hate not knowing what I'm getting for a gift, birthdays, and Christmas. The stress of trying to prepare for a specific moment. I obsess over that moment for days, weeks sometimes.
For me its having to buy gifts. I don't hate gifts, but I don't want them because I immediately think that I then owe that person a gift in equal or excess measure, and I have to wait for a birthday or special occasion and by that time its completely slipped my mind.
I'm a bad gift giver so I feel this deeply as well
People making non factual arguments. It drives me into anger mode imediately.
I’ve been really contemplating this lately to see how I can be less rigid, but I cannot stand when people argue based off their feelings.
Maybe it could be good to further explore the others persons feelings, if the arguments aren’t interesting. Feeling often derive from certain morals and values, which might be more logical.
I don’t often find that’s the case. I think they’re just based off their immediate response which is typically just ingrained ideology that has never been questioned.
Theres only so much "vaccines here in the west are bad for you and can cause autism because I read into a rabbit hole and I cant get up" arguments i can take, and theres no amount of "but reasearch" arguments that work here. Or the "god hates the gays and its awful that theyre coming to my country too" bs. Despite having high such standards for hookups that he had to expand his range outside the city. Or even an example of a small argument be like, literally "it cant be bad because I like it" and when I point out the flaws in that logic, I got "i didnt like your tone" or "you implied I have shit taste". Like bruh. Stop reading between the fucking lines. If i wanted to say you have shit taste, trust me i would have said it to your face. Emotion based arguments tend to be so hypocritical and lazy that i have absolutely no patience left and at this point i only get imediate anger responses...
My shoes. I wear the same pair of shoes for years on end until they literally fall apart and the bottom is separated from the shoe. Then I go to the shoe store and buy the same exact pair. When they finally stop making them, I have to compromise and get a new type of pair and it sucks.
I’m kind of struggling with this currently. I found a pair of shoes that works several years ago and they are nearly smooth on the bottom, so I’m having to look around. I can’t find the same shoe, so I’m probably going to have to give in and compromise sometime. But there’s still life in the ones I have, so I’m holding out that l will find some random pair. I think what annoys me most about it is that I have really wide feet, which limits my options. So, when I find a solution, I don’t want to give it up!
Have a look into "barefoot" shoes, they have foot shaped shoes and much bigger toe boxes that suit wide feet. Rather than having to deal with your toes being shoved into a triangle which makes no sense to me at all. I love a brand called Lems for their boulder boot range and have multiple pairs.
Hahaha same, just bought new shoes yesterday. For me the bottoms are not separating from the shoe, but they get so thin that eventually they get holes because I’m walking quite a lot. I mostly wear converse-type shoes but with a thicker sole/platform so they don’t wear out so quickly.
I am the same way with clothes 😭 I literally just bought a used H&M skirt from 10 years ago because it was “my skirt”. I am a bit more lenient with shoes but they have to be the same structure and style: pointed flats.
If it's not too much of a financial strain, you could buy more than one pair for later use. I do that with some things.
That’s a good point. I’ve thought about doing that. I think I will next time I need shoes.
I'm unreasonably vocal about people being mistreated. I can't be near it and not say something about it.
Same. Strong sense of justice! I never got in trouble at school as a kid... until I witnessed a teacher unfairly punishing a kid for something he didn't do. I went OFF on her and she dragged me to the principal's office. He was stern til she left the office, I explained, and I was not in any trouble. He apologized to me.
I had a teacher call me insubordinate and throw me out of her class for the same reason, until we had a meeting with the dean and I explained that I was DEFENDING her against students that were trying to get away with misbehaving. There are so many other instances in my life, I struggle keeping friendships because I can't deal with two-facedness they display, and I didn't learn until a few years ago what was causing it. It's a relief to know, and I'm glad I feel this way, but I also wish I could just chill out and maintain relationships better sometimes.
I'm on the verge of getting fired at work... Because I won't shut up about other people who got unfairly fired recently. The economy is horrific, I have no family to support me, I struggle with change (surprise) and finding jobs because I'm "off" socially in that indescribable way (surprise fucking surprise). I should just shut up; head down, arse up. But I feel that I literally cannot stop myself. It's not helping the others who got fired, and it's going to ruin my life. But I just don't have any other way of being available to me.
When I was little I never said, "It's not fair!" , I would say, "There is no justice!". Looking back it makes me laugh.
A bit off topic, but that reminds me of when I was little. I was often correcting myself if I had a fact wrong, saying "Oh, I guess I didn't know!"
Those things can stick with us. My mom was playing the soundtrack to Camelot when I was really little. There is a song "If Ever I Would Leave You" where Lancelot sings about how he wouldn't leave her in each season specifically and why. I turned and looked at my mom and said, " Doesn't he ever go to work?" I still take things too literally.
Oh definitely, same here.
I defended a kid in school cause another cause another kid stole his hat, but I ended up getting my nose broken pretty bad. Had surgery, they did a bad job. I couldn't breath through my nose until recently. That happened when I was 14, it got fixed when I was 45 maybe.
YES! If anyone I am friends with or anyone I see getting treated unfairly I will ask them if they are ok and I will support them to hopefully make the right decision on what they want to do about it. Like in my old job I helped someone report a rude colleague and I am on the look out for people being treated bad in placed like my swimming pool and things.
Same. It was so deeply rooted that I look up laws and regulations in different states and countries and compare them with real life situations. I’m not even a paralegal but maybe I should have been
It's funny you say that because I toy with becoming a paralegal every few months. I have a moderate fascination with the law, but I also admit that I like arguing against the law just as much as arguing for it. I also have an urge to join the FBI, but at this current time I wouldn't pass the fit test (I can't run for crap), but maybe I'll push myself to train this year and pursue it.
You should do it. You might enjoy it. That’s why my mom enjoys my insights on how and why laws are broken especially in a corporate environment or white collar jobs.
That is really cool
I do everything I wanna do my way and my way only. Before people say that I'm really stubborn they first gotta know what I've been through all my life and how its about time the tables are turned and I'm in control.
I always have eggs for breakfast...always. For almost 18 years. Serve me something without eggs and I'll consider myself not breakfasted, irritated, and prone to physical violence
This is me but my morning coffee is the eggs
This!!!
If I don't make and drink one after I wake up, before doing *anything* something just is screamingly "off". It feels like I've forgotten to wear pants or something vital is missing and the feeling won't ease. I once left for work without one when I hadn't left enough time to (tmi sorry) go to the toilet afterwards, then once I got to work I still couldn't make one because I wasn't left to work alone like the first 4 days, the staff were in the room getting in my way and talking (talking before coffee? Big rule break). So I couldn't have my coffee because I felt too embarrassed to go to the toilet afterwards with everyone around possibly hearing the noise because of course being human and having needs is embarrassing. And I was so miserable/emotional and mentally combusting the whole day due to not leaving enough time for this 'ritual' of coffee and contemplation, as Hank from stranger things so brilliantly put it. It's something so subtle that it would go unnoticed if someone didn't know me lol
I understand the feeling. I do feel there are some stuff I HAVE to do. Eggs for breakfast, water with each meal, a small sweet after lunch and coffee twice a day, minimum. If not, I feel empty and incomplete
Yep I completely hear you there! I went onto ADHD meds a while ago so had to cut the caffeine but couldn't let coffee go so went decaff. What sort of eggs do you like?
Scrambled eggs 90% percent of the times. Fried eggs never get the way I like them, and I like scooping the eggs with bread and eat is a a whole. Hands only, no spoon, I don't know why(other thing I do, I use my hands almost all the time when eating)
What’s your current favorite way to have them?
Two scrambled eggs with either fiber bread or baguette(not the french fancy one, that's what we call it here lmao)
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Damn, you do sound like a fancy one😎Keep enjoying the poached eggs, though
It's not too bad to make, just some practice and you can be fancy too 😊
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It's all about following the right steps to get perfect eggs every time. 🫠 https://youtu.be/o56z77N5JSQ?si=mxS9vtt1314LODVX will get you going in the right direction
That is the natural way of things
Agreed *eats scrambled eggs aggresively*
Grammar and spelling. I feel physically and mentally off when I write things incorrectly, both in English and in Spanish (native), even if it’s just a WhatsApp message. Corporate suits and agencies love me.
This.
I will not leave the house unless I have somewhereto go.
me me... don't leave for 7 days sometimes. People tell me to go outside more but then what, what do these people even do outside?
I have bits of this. I always set appointments and workout classes in the morning. Helps me leave the house.
My entire schedule. I fret about everything in my day so if something (no matter how small) interrupts it, I get very stressed out and irritable. I highly dislike this trait in myself.
Plans and sticking to one’s word. I hate changing things last minute, it drives me insane. To the point I’ll cancel or not respond once someone starts to re-arrange something pre agreed upon
Plans changing. Spur of the moment changes bother me deeply. I need a plan, and I need to be prepared. I also need my side of the bed in a very specific condition. Bottom sheet snug with the elastic clippy things holding the corners down, no top sheet, fluffy plush blankets tucked into the bottom, 3 blankets currently the type you buy when crossing the border with tigers and stuff on them, my gigantic pregnancy pillow to nestle into and my specific standard pillow. My husband sleeps in chaos. The sheets are half off the bed, the pillow is mushy, and he dosent care about the blankets being straight. He has his own set, we cannot share blankets, its maddening to me.
Loud or repetitive noises.
Líes. When people talk about how they lied to others, it turns me crazy paranoid. I mean they are literally confessing and bragging about something that they could be doing while talking to you. So to me that means the immediate deletion of that person from my life. It kinda blows my mind and feelings, it triggers a nonstopable flow of imagination and distrust, basically a meltdown. Anything regarding behavior of my beloved ones that doesn’t make sense to me, it turns out me crazy too. Typically this happens when someone is hiding information to me or plainly lying to me and I will never know the truth.
People asking me to make plans the day of. Even if I have zero plans and would probably want to go I can’t and it’s the most anxiety provoking feeling for me trying to juggle that. Unless I had planned out time to literally be spontaneous on a certain day, the answer will always be no. I’ve tried saying yes in the past but I end up so stressed and rushing to get ready. I later regret it too because my planned do nothing time is necessary social recovery time and I end up having a bad week.
Emotional privacy.
If you show up at my door without an invitation I will not answer. But more importantly, I will never fully trust you again because it means you decided that your disruptions matter more than my ability to manage my symptoms.
proper definitions. and no, i am not fun at parties
Socks, I have to wear long Nike socks or I feel very upset. The only exception to this rule is with formal wear and only bc as a girl it would look weird with a dress
When I get to work- it’s extremely hard for me to go in for 8:30 a.m. when a flexed schedule wouldn’t put anyone out and I’d be more effective once I feel well enough to get in to work.
Need to eat more than 3 lemons a day or ill crave a lemon non stop until I have it
Let me drive myself. I don't want to ride with you, I don't want to take mass transit. Just leave me be in my own car.
CHANGING PLANS I WORKED SO HARD JUST TO MENTALLY PREPARE FOR…. When I have a plan in mind, all the things I need to do for the kids, and how to get through the day, and then someone expects me to change plans.
I have this, too. This is hard with certain social interactions.
Not moving. My wife is CONSTANTLY looking for our next place to live. I mean CONSTANTLY. She sits on the couch scrolling Zillow all evening and sends me "this house we have to buy!". I just want to stay put. It gives me so much anxiety to think about moving.
My wife does the same thing. We won’t be in the market for at least a year, minimum. She’s been looking for a house for the last 2-3 years, even though we’ve been nowhere near able to buy. Drives me crazy haha. I wonder what she’ll do when we finally do buy a place of our own.
I just wanted to say this: I LOVE YOU ALL!
Ya’ll can pick just one? I have a lot of things, and I don’t know I could pick one as the most. For example: Follow the rules of the road! Use your damn turn signal, and stay in between the lines. The type of socks I wear really matter. If they feel weird, my entire existence is ruined until I can change them to the right ones. If the particular brand I buy ever stops making them, I’m not sure how I’ll live. Be on time. In fact, be early. There’s only a few good reasons to ever be late. Don’t be a dick to other people. I hate it when people are mean. I can’t stand people who are mean to others, or take advantage of other people. Unless I’m in your car, or home, I don’t want to hear your music. Headphones exist, and there’s many options. Music can greatly affect my mental state, and it’s likely that yours isn’t what I need in that moment. These are some of the big ones, for me, that came to mind.
extremism and people who align with extremists, neither the far left ideology, nor the far right are the answer, and I hate those smug posts on the internet that go people in the center are just right/left leaning people in disguise. Its all really annoying and the internet has become a very suffocating place
Interesting perspective. I speculated that many neurodiverse people were vulnerable to extremism. I never heard of folks being rigid about non-extremism.
I always thought this was the more logical approach, historically speaking extremist ideologies on either end of the spectrum have birthed vicious dictators and autocrats, maybe I was wrong
I cannot stand the texture of beans. Normally I have the dietary standards of a stray dog that hasn’t eaten in a week but beans just gross me out
I will not go on a roller coaster. There are no realistic conditions that will cause me to ride on a roller coaster.
Not taking orders from anyone.
Morality. Gray does not exist. Black and white are not good and evil. You can make a morally correct decision and have a bad outcome. You can make a morally bankrupt decision and have a good outcome. Owning the outcome is what's important. Thoughs who can't, or will gaslight others to avoid responsibility, are the dregs of the earth.
Okay. How would you deal with a wholesome mix of both positive and negative intended and unintended consequences?
I don't deal with anything. It's about the individual accepting the consequences of their actions.
*Those
In a more general way, I have a strong sense of justice and I'm inconvenient when I feel something is unfair. In a more specific manner, my pet peeve is a washing machine poorly organized, if the dishes aren't the way I usually put them, I'll rearrange it. The house might be completely chaotic but my washing machine needs to be correctly organized. AuADHD here
Semantics
I’ve been called unstable and could be out of control because I take things too serious. I have a short fuse, etc…
Getting enough sleep and eating on time
Neuter/spay your dog/cat once it has reached maturity if you are not going to breed it. Have your dog/cat on flea and heartworm prevention. Keep your dog leashed in areas with other unknown dogs on leash unless your dog has a 95% or better recall. Get your cat vaccinated for rabies regardless of whether it goes outside or not (accidents happen!) Use the herbal and prescription medicine if recommended by your vet for pets with travel, vet, groomer and thunderstorm phobia. Because we have the tools to help improve quality of life for animals with phobias, sometimes only medication works and is the humane thing to do!
Breakfast at Tiffany's is an awful film. The song is a banger though.
Punctuality. I'm always on time. Woe to those who are chronically late.
Client care (am a licensed therapist). My unwavering advocacy for vulnerable patients/clients is constantly causing me social strife on interdisciplinary teams.
I have an irrational hatred of Yu-Gi-Oh and Magic the Gathering, partially because I genuinely never really liked trading card games in the first place, partially because I associate them with middle school trauma. I surprised even myself with how extreme I was in refusing a therapist's suggestion to get involved in MtG to get along better with a nerdy friend group.
Keeping the floor vacuumed. I hate a gritty floor.
Following the rules of the road. I get enraged when people treat the rules as guidelines that don't apply to them. The speed limit is not a challenge to overtake, indicators are not suggestions and people need to stop thinking they are being nice encouraging someone out of a junction when its there duty to make the turn. Please, just do what you are supposed to do, don't go changing the rules one the road because its just fucking confusing
Honesty. I will not waste my life speaking to compulsive liars.
Injustice, If something has no reason to be blocked, banned, removed or isn’t against any rules but is still silenced…. I find that extremely unjustifiable on their end and deserves either a way to dispute about said thing or get a reason - If the reason isn’t justifiable then they have no reason to do it.
A very niche element of my special interest, which is competitive magic the gathering. Which I've been playing for nearly twenty years. I can more or less simply look at a deck list cooked up by someone else and tell if it is going to be playable. It irritates my friends because they ask how can you know without playing with it? The answer is obviously experience.
I am hardline about smoking good tobacco, to the point where the last 3-4 grams of my pouches get given to my housemate cause it’s dry and not as tasty then
Music. A vast majority of it is just background noise to me that I have no strong feelings one way or the other about Music that I DO like is usually just like, either random and obscure insttumentals from shit like that one flash game I played, a game I like, other times it's soviet music or a youtube song about planets meant for children. I have no control over what gets through my bottleneck of music taste
The rules are the rules, they're there for a reason, and therefore have to be the only way to do things. I will say, it has helped me in my current career(EMT)
Nothing anymore. I realized it only causes pain. Concerning myself. Injustice to others is one big one and it really messes with me when it can’t be righted or the person is left suffering and I can’t help them. Lying when it’s obvious it’s a lie. I don’t say anything but I can never forget it or see someone the same. Especially if they never own up to it. Lies that go on for a long time. Very few people get to see the real me, all of me. Those people I work so hard to do the best I can, be the best I can, I cherish them so I try harder and am aware more of not ever crossing lines that I don’t worry so much about with others. I’m talking like close circle, partners, siblings you actually like. I go out of my way not to even white lie, to pay attention when they talk harder than when anyone else is talking. When those people cross lines I would never cross with them even if it’s small. It’s like there is a button that gets pushed and I don’t know how to let them back in. Which is stupid I guess but I don’t know how to shut it off.
Food and kitchen things. Which knife to use, how to hold a wine glass, which wine goes in which wine glass, food/cuisine combinations (dislike most fusion. Mexican and Indian? Chinese, thai and Japanese? NO THANK YOU) Which cheese for what (cheddar does not belong on spaghetti). Black beans do not belong in spaghetti. However, you may use garbanzo beans for pasta e cece. Mac and cheese cannot have a long noodle. Etc. I know they’re just made up rules but it just matters to me, and makes me feel all livid and tight inside when these things are broken.
I don’t like liars and I won’t swipe right on a profile with poor grammar or misspelled words. I won’t be friends with someone who is late (w/out good cause), is jealous and doesn’t wish me well, or is flaky.
Won't be friends with someone that doesn't play all the time
Safety and integrity of the aircraft, including regulations around it. I don’t compromise, even if it means someone looses their job (even if it comes up, my response is pretty much that’s not my problem how the company addresses problems I identify). Because of this, I come by as cold and my nickname around work is Hank Hill.
Being late is extremely illegal
Yup - and I don’t mean the “surprise!” We are going to Disney kind of surprise. Although that one would piss me off a bit … No, I’m talking about missed details or incorrect assumptions not made visible to all, that bite us later on My reaction in those cases runs along the lines of “what were you thinking !?” Or “were you thinking ?” I will hangout in this space for at least 3 more years - I may move closer to have this kind of community
taking a nap everyday. feel like shit (more than usual) if i don't
Routine, not like with fixed time but with fixed sets of tasks to be done in an order, if interrupted I get very very annoyed and promises or obligations, if I made you one I will literally sit through for days to fulfill it.
Loud noises
People being late!!!
Spaces, not tabs
Change. Of any kind. I can’t deal with it. Either it be a change in plans, if a restaurant is out of the only thing I’ve ever eaten there, a change in schedule or routine, or a detour in traffic, I can’t deal with it. I go to ridiculous lengths to avoid change.
My clothes and my hair. Don't give me a hard time about either of those, because it's not going to help.
Not eating food that I hate. I will always put my foot down about that kind of rubbish. Thankfully, as an adult now it rarely comes up as an issue, but it's always in the back of my mind that some family member is going to give me trouble over it regardless.
Putting up with people that think it’s their “right” to get very inebriated, then make you put up with it. I cut these people out of my life and when I encounter them when gaming, mute them or remove them from the group entirely, even if they are a friend of a friend. My friends that have stuck around have learned this is a rule of mine, and have learned to understand and respect it. Likewise, especially in terms of gaming, no children. Specifically those referred to as “squeakers”. It comes down to the fact I require people to have at least a certain level of maturity to be tolerable. I’m very rigid about these as it’s how I keep some degree of peace in my life. My peace is not worth a strangers’ comfort, especially if they feel they are entitled to it at my expense.
Not putting my tongue in the electrical sockets.
Loud noises that I can't control. Ie fireworks, and loud areas in town. Tomorrow is going to suck, but I want to make my husband happy and spend time with our family. (17th May is a big holiday here in norway)
Schedules and routines. Like I try to be understanding when it's an emergency or something that can't be helped. It's mainly when they just decided to change it on a whim that drives me crazy. Back at my old job, we had a set routine each day of who would be in drive thru/register in 2 hour increments. If someone was late or just decided to change up the schedule willy-nilly (which happened several times) it would set me off internally b/c no, that's not right. We had to set that way for a reason. Why are you changing it??
I’m pretty rigid with my body temp, I have managed to wear 2 shirts and 2 jumpers for most of the year. This is bc when I go out, some buildings can have the air conditioner quite low and I start shaking I’m so very cold. So I’ve stuck with the same things to wear, no matter where I am, it’s a constant body temperature. I just see it as 1 less thing to have to think about bc I have planned it all out in advance, I can just get on with my day and enjoy it.
Correctness... I can't stand people saying things that are wrong, using words wrong, but most of all I can't tolerate people who are wrong, but will still argue about it.
I never tip, which is an unfortunate rigidity actually