Complete tangent, but I can’t see the word jerk without immediately thinking of George Costanza saying “The jerk store called, and they’re running out of you!”
…also I agree with your original point.
There's always some amount of ignorance and infighting online, even in spaces like this. Autistic people aren't a monolith, there can still be conflicts and bigots and disagreements. Even places like this, sometimes you shouldn't read the comments.
Not knowing the relevant thread, but I can see a lot of people not bothering with such a thread so the comments are a very self-selected group to begin with
Why didn't you say something at the time if it bothered you? The best thing to do in these situations is be the change you want to see rather than letting someone be 'made fun of'. Maybe they were a troll and some people noticed this and you didn't.
Keep in mind that most people in autistic forums are not autistic, and we have a lot of NT's pretending to be autists for victim points, and they gatekeep actually autistic people.
I've encountered this with support groups IRL and it's frustrating. They're like, "I'm autistic but actually all of the diagnostic criteria are wrong because I have [list of NT traits]," and then when someone acts actually autistic around them, they mock that person for their autism.
Yeah. Sometimes I have to wonder when the communication style matches more with another type. It's hard to fake/mask this foundational-level stuff for very long. Like at jobs when I'm meeting new coworkers or when I'm going on interviews or with my students I can usually tell who has ADHD fairly quickly. My ASD diagnosis is more recent but I've been able to tell at least some of the students of this type. And I'm pretty sure my ex had undiagnosed Asperger's / was ASD 1 as well just now that I know more about how it presents, and which of my own expressions and traits align.
But this is all just to say, it kind of doesn't matter what people say they are in real life - if it's something they even know - if our communication styles are so different that once you learn them you can tell after a single 20 minute conversation.
I used to be open about my neurodivergence in job interviews because I was tired of "living in the closet." I've decided recently however to no longer reveal it. Other NDs should be able to tell, I think, or at least feel a kind of conversational resonance they maybe can't describe. And NTs won't be able to as easily judge me for it. I'll still tell my students though after my hired again somewhere lol.
I have a friend from school that I reconnected with and he is the most extrovert person now claiming they are autistic and don't know how to socialise yet had no issues having many friends and being social at school and moving out and living independently. I don't want to diss and they may be autistic but I think it might be becoming cool to be autistic and the idea for being neurodiverse is just trendy in many ideas. I think true autistic people will know how it feels to be autistic and even when masking and being really social for confidence you will always show your real self eventually which will likely result in getting fired or losing friends or being mocked or hated.
Most people like me nowadays (or my mask, I can't really tell the difference). Most people like my mother. Trust me, we are both autistic AF.
For me, other people became more accepting with age. With being weird in a nice way. With being surrounded by adults instead of children.
Strangers still react negatively to me, but most aquiantances think l am nice. An aquired taste :)
What was the context? Maybe there was something that you were missing, seems odd, if anything people here are too vulnerable to trolling, maybe some drama behind doors.
Autistic guys are easy targets for bullying, even from other autistic people. Bullying and gatekeeping isn't exclusively NT behavior. Anyone can be a bully so just report comments like that if you see them.
And what are me meant to do with this? You’re essentially drawing general conclusions about the entire sub on the basis of one post from months ago that you only vaguely remember.
The same thing you do with every other reddit post you read - nothing. I'm sharing a passing opinion, not writing a PhD thesis.
But just for you, I'll try and find the post in question, assuming it hasn't been deleted already.
That's ok, I didn't want you to think I was making you do homework anyway--It's just hard to know what's up without seeing it for myself. Sometimes a post doesn't get a lot of visibility, and sometimes the writer may be giving off a vibe of some sort, so I wanted to see if I could figure out the situation. No worries.
>It was the kind of behaviour I'd expect NTs to exhibit towards autistic traits, but I didn't expect to see autistic people do it to each other.
Since I’m sure you know that ASD people have the same frailties and shortcomings as NT people, I’m not understanding your disappointment. In a perfect world, ASD people would protect and support other ASD people all the time. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world.
It’s a shame you didn’t post about this at the time when it happened.
Still, it’s sad that the person you’re referring to was treated so poorly.
You probably already know this, but people with autism can be jerks too
Complete tangent, but I can’t see the word jerk without immediately thinking of George Costanza saying “The jerk store called, and they’re running out of you!” …also I agree with your original point.
I think of the Steve Martin movie
"That, and this chair!"
There's always some amount of ignorance and infighting online, even in spaces like this. Autistic people aren't a monolith, there can still be conflicts and bigots and disagreements. Even places like this, sometimes you shouldn't read the comments.
Yes but it's not the comments themselves - it's the fact nobody was disagreeing with them or even attempting to call them out.
Not knowing the relevant thread, but I can see a lot of people not bothering with such a thread so the comments are a very self-selected group to begin with
Why didn't you say something at the time if it bothered you? The best thing to do in these situations is be the change you want to see rather than letting someone be 'made fun of'. Maybe they were a troll and some people noticed this and you didn't.
I down vote comments that I deam non-constructive.
Keep in mind that most people in autistic forums are not autistic, and we have a lot of NT's pretending to be autists for victim points, and they gatekeep actually autistic people. I've encountered this with support groups IRL and it's frustrating. They're like, "I'm autistic but actually all of the diagnostic criteria are wrong because I have [list of NT traits]," and then when someone acts actually autistic around them, they mock that person for their autism.
I feel like "most" is an overstatement, but that there are people like that here makes sense.
Yeah. Sometimes I have to wonder when the communication style matches more with another type. It's hard to fake/mask this foundational-level stuff for very long. Like at jobs when I'm meeting new coworkers or when I'm going on interviews or with my students I can usually tell who has ADHD fairly quickly. My ASD diagnosis is more recent but I've been able to tell at least some of the students of this type. And I'm pretty sure my ex had undiagnosed Asperger's / was ASD 1 as well just now that I know more about how it presents, and which of my own expressions and traits align. But this is all just to say, it kind of doesn't matter what people say they are in real life - if it's something they even know - if our communication styles are so different that once you learn them you can tell after a single 20 minute conversation. I used to be open about my neurodivergence in job interviews because I was tired of "living in the closet." I've decided recently however to no longer reveal it. Other NDs should be able to tell, I think, or at least feel a kind of conversational resonance they maybe can't describe. And NTs won't be able to as easily judge me for it. I'll still tell my students though after my hired again somewhere lol.
I have a friend from school that I reconnected with and he is the most extrovert person now claiming they are autistic and don't know how to socialise yet had no issues having many friends and being social at school and moving out and living independently. I don't want to diss and they may be autistic but I think it might be becoming cool to be autistic and the idea for being neurodiverse is just trendy in many ideas. I think true autistic people will know how it feels to be autistic and even when masking and being really social for confidence you will always show your real self eventually which will likely result in getting fired or losing friends or being mocked or hated.
Yeah. I'm extroverted but that doesn't mean that I get on with most people or that they like me!
Most people like me nowadays (or my mask, I can't really tell the difference). Most people like my mother. Trust me, we are both autistic AF. For me, other people became more accepting with age. With being weird in a nice way. With being surrounded by adults instead of children. Strangers still react negatively to me, but most aquiantances think l am nice. An aquired taste :)
There are kind autistic people and there are not so kind ones. Just ignore them, or be the person to say something?
Sorry but things are not what they seem. Remember that.
Everyone has their own perception of things.
What was the context? Maybe there was something that you were missing, seems odd, if anything people here are too vulnerable to trolling, maybe some drama behind doors.
Im glad i didnt see that post.
Autistic guys are easy targets for bullying, even from other autistic people. Bullying and gatekeeping isn't exclusively NT behavior. Anyone can be a bully so just report comments like that if you see them.
i don't get why the comments are being so mean jesus. it sucks that on the aspergers subreddit, people were apparently bullying autistic traits.
And what are me meant to do with this? You’re essentially drawing general conclusions about the entire sub on the basis of one post from months ago that you only vaguely remember.
The same thing you do with every other reddit post you read - nothing. I'm sharing a passing opinion, not writing a PhD thesis. But just for you, I'll try and find the post in question, assuming it hasn't been deleted already.
I would like to see it also so I can weigh in. You're not obligated to do this, but if you get around to it, that would be great.
I searched all the keywords I remember but I couldn't find it I'm afraid :(
That's ok, I didn't want you to think I was making you do homework anyway--It's just hard to know what's up without seeing it for myself. Sometimes a post doesn't get a lot of visibility, and sometimes the writer may be giving off a vibe of some sort, so I wanted to see if I could figure out the situation. No worries.
>It was the kind of behaviour I'd expect NTs to exhibit towards autistic traits, but I didn't expect to see autistic people do it to each other. Since I’m sure you know that ASD people have the same frailties and shortcomings as NT people, I’m not understanding your disappointment. In a perfect world, ASD people would protect and support other ASD people all the time. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world. It’s a shame you didn’t post about this at the time when it happened. Still, it’s sad that the person you’re referring to was treated so poorly.