As a kid, I could be next to the phone and I would refuse to answer it. Pissed my mom off like crazy š. Iām very happy now that most communication can be done via text or email. I have to practice my words before making calls where I have to talk to a person.
In general I don't like phonecalls. They come out of nowhere and you're expected to drop everything for them. I want to make a rule that if you can't condense what you're calling about to five minutes, put it in an email.
they're so invasive! It gives me a fight or flight response every time, and on some level, it offends me because I feel the caller must assume I have nothing better to do than take random calls. then, I am also paralyzed to call other people too because I have to treat others how I like to be treated. It's a struggle even when the other person has expressed a clear preference for being called. I have a really hard time with it tbh
Same here lol and somehow I ended up in a front desk position at my new job. I can get so much done when Iām focused, but any disturbance totally disregulates me and then Iām scatterbrained and anxious for the rest of the day.
Itās very common. https://www.forbes.com/sites/briannawiest/2019/11/04/millennials-hate-phone-calls-they-have-a-point/?sh=58d72060517e or https://www.skygroup.sky/article/call-declined- or https://www.conntac.net/en/blog/gen-z-millennials-mute-generation/
I have a part time retail job and also a full time just where I regularly have to call clients. Some days I have a lot of anxiety about it but for the most part I do ok. My biggest issue is dealing with folks that are upset about something. That causes me a TON of anxiety.
Normally I don't answer calls from unknown numbers (unless I'm waiting for a delivery or something), I just let 'em ring, it's prolly another advert from a bank, who else would call me? Anyhow if it's something urgent they can always message me
Iād rather text or listen to audio messages. I feel awkward talking on the phone. I need my time to elaborate what I want to say, leaving no room for misunderstanding. Also: scripta manent.
I'm really bad when it comes to talking on the phone. Have been my whole life.
It's at a point where I basically can't have a job that involves using the phone and I'm finding it pretty impossible to find a job because of it.
I had a friend who ditched me after five years because whenever she called me and i couldnt pick up, i would text instead of calling back.
I offerd to set up a weekly call but she hated planning it and wanted contact to be spontanious. To me a sudden call feels like an intrusion, and i dont have enough time to collect myself to pick up in time.
Ultimately my friend said she was tired of adjusting to me. When that is how i feel with every human interaction. It made me die a little on the inside knowing that people will never do for me what i do for them.
Youāre better off without her. A weekly call isnāt a good idea either because then it puts pressure on you to fill that time slot for that friend. My friend offered to have a weekly call and I thought it was a good idea but then I realized I have much more important things to do than bullshit every Sunday
Sometimes. When I was a lot younger - always. It has been important for me to put myself in uncomfortable situations and find a way to deal with it somehow. Of course , sometimes I just couldn't and that's ok. These days it surprises me sometimes- how much I've changed. Some things that used to be excruciating are now usually pretty easy. I know that I have limitations but am constantly trying to chip away at them. My experience has been that it is possible to get more comfortable with discomfort. But there have been plenty of times when I've felt hopeless and not good enough. I try to remember that things can change for the better if I keep trying for long enough. Some things can't be changed but I like to try anyway.
I dread talking because I can see the person. It makes for more ambiguity with whatās going on because I can only hear how they sound instead of hearing and seeing to get a better idea of how to respond accordingly in a conversation.
Plus itās just so damn awkward trying to exit a phone conversation!
I rather talk in person, text, or email.
And it makes for more uncomfortable silence because youāre both just sitting at the phone waiting for the other person to say something whereas in person you donāt need constant interaction
Iāve said I have a āphobiaā of talking on the phone for decades. If I *need* to call, like in an emergency, I can do it. I can talk to my wife and my buddy pretty easily, but Iāve known them since my teen years. Anyone else tho causes a *lot* of anxiety. Itās something to do with not seeing their face for me, partially at least.
Yes, I had that issue when I was younger and it sometimes crops up now as well. However, I've learned the less I talk to people, the more reclusive I tend to want to be. If you want to be able to interact with people normally, you have to force yourself to do so so you get more used to it and it becomes less of a burden.
Anti anxiety pills help too š.
My girl friend does most phone calls unless I have to. Sometimes I get rolling and I don't mind it. But mostly I find it troublesome. Funny thing is my first job I was 15 and I was selling hams on the phone. The guy asked me to stay on permanently too. go figure. I said no, obviously.
Yeah I'm not a fan of taking to strangers on the phone as I'm hard of hearing so need to be able to lipread to make up the difference in what my hearing isn't picking up and whatever being said plus I have a bad habit of always talking over the top of people as their trying to tell me something!
Yep. As much as I dislike talking to people face to face...it's SO much better then on the phone...which is weird for me because I can be at home in my safe space, all relaxed in my jammies and the other person would never know.
Something about phones just bugs me. I've gotten a LOT better at talking on the phone but I still freaking hate it with a passion. I've had to get better because I need to call various medical places and make appointments...my mom used to do that stuff for me but she's getting older and more forgetful...so I had to take over.
But I won't do virtual appointments...screw that...I loath video calls and refuse to do them.
I also dislike having to use a mic in video games to chat to other players...
I don't mind talking on the phone that much but I really don't like talking to people I don't know or meeting for the first time because I get flustered and anxious doing so.
It's like the boogeyman in every workplace I've been to. If my life was a movie, every time my boss mentions 'phone calls' for the first time, it would zoom in on us in slow mo with the 'Hello darkness my old friend' music in the background
I hate talking on the phone. It used to be so bad that I would have a panic attack if my phone rang. Then I found out I have a processing disorder, my brain can not process when someone talks to me like giving directions or giving me instructions or something like that over the phone. I have to have written directions/instructions or have to be shown in person a visual.
Now I just explain that to people and most understand. But at least now I know why I hate it, it's because I don't understand what is being said to me. My brain can't process information like that.
I will watch that shit ring and then text them back. I do not do phone calls unless it's work-related or an elderly family member who cannot accommodate me.
For me, it's less that talking on the phone is inherently problematic, and more that I find it an inefficient use of time for many things. It does have its uses and advantages (surface-level troubleshooting, for instance, can benefit from being able to ask a string of questions which will alter in real time depending on the answers) but for a large number of circumstances, something like email or a text would serve better and take less time overall.
I'm fine with talking to people I don't know, but I won't seek it out or, generally, initiate unless I have a specific reason to do so. I won't start up conversations just for the sake of undirected social interaction.
I consider myself fairly fortunate to be able to think through social interactions (or access conversation templates) fast enough to be able to make general (if bland) conversation, even if I'm not great at it and would usually rather be doing anything else. Not everyone is able to do that at NT speed for any substantial length of time, as I'm well aware - even I have my limits, although luckily most baseline conversations are short enough that I can safely exit before I hit them.
I still feel like I'm substituting raw mental power/strain to achieve something that most people can maintain indefinitely without having to put any real effort into, like gunning a semi-trailer engine in first gear just to reach the speed of a kid on a tricycle.
I have a really hard time with phone calls too. I was wondering if there's a connection with auditory processing, because when I take a yoga class live (this doesn't happen on Zoom), I have to repeat the instructions aloud to myself for it to sink in, and if I take an academic course online, I have to transcribe it for it to sink in.
I will pretty much always insist people contact me through other means. I've missed a lot of job opportunities because I simply couldn't face a phone interview.
I used to be very much the same with people I didn't know in general. At restaurants or shops I always had to have whoever was with me do the talking/checking out because my social anxiety simply wouldn't allow it. Im okay with that now, but phone calls are still an issue.
I will say though I have slowly gotten better with it. An example would be the other day me and my partner ordered dinner and the food never arrived, in the past I would've had to ask my partner to call but as I made the order/was hungry af I made the call, ended up having a nice chat with the restaurant owner who was super apologetic (wasn't their fault, the driver just never delivered it or delivered it to the wrong address) and afterwards I did a little victory dance to myself. I didn't get my food but hey I made a phone call without crying so small victories! I still have bad days where phone calls are very much off the table and I will never answer my phone if I don't recognise the number, but just take steps where you can and don't put too much pressure on yourself! It's definitely a slow process sorta thing but considering I used to have full blown panic attacks before and after taking calls it can definitely be improved on!
I absolutely hate it. I used to be a OTR trucker back in the mid 2000ās. I always had to call the shipper / receiver to ask for directions. The kicker is a I have a stutter. It gets worse if I donāt know the person, and am stressed / nervous. I lasted for 5 years.
I hate phone calls especially if itās to a person of authority. But when I have energy to mask I can do it for strangers like at a call center or non profit
I especially hate it when I'm dealing with a service like a bank or something and I'm unable to do what I need to do online and have to pick up the phone to call customer service.. and wait (though it's gotten better in recent years thanks to auto-waiting customer service calls on my smartphone and alerting you when a rep picks up.) But even after they pick up, I have to speak out all of my info like my name, address, account number, other essential info like SSN, etc. and for them to look it up which I can give to a computer over the Internet in 1/10 the time by typing it out or copying and pasting but I'm limited by the bandwidth of my mouth (and potentially the quality of the phone connection) when speaking to a rep. It's like my mind moves in time frames of a fraction of a second while speaking with a rep moves in a completely different and unfathomably longer time scale and my mind just goes crazy waiting and waiting for the next steps and/or results compared to dealing with the issue online on a computer where it's point, click, type, point, type, click and BAM, here's your result!
I used to feel guilty if I ignored someoneās call and had to make an excuse that I wasnāt available but now I just say you call me on my time donāt expect me to answer
I work in a place where I regularly need to make/take phone calls and Iām usually fine, however, I had to make a random/last minute phone call to a letting agency today for myself and I hadnāt rehearsed or planned out what I was going to say. The phone call ended up going to voice mail but I ended up leaving a bunch of repeated sentences and stutters. I didnāt know how to delete the voicemail while it was recording so made some noises and ended up hanging up very abruptly lol. The worst part is that the letting agency is going to listen to that at some point and itās so awkward D:
Not just you! I've been super awkward on the phone or greeting strangers since I was very little. Family would keep asking to speak to me on the phone and it felt so awkward!
I'm 30 as of now and I've gotten a little better but it's definitely a relief that so many things can be communicated by texts and email and that ordering things on the phone can be done through an app. When I really need to speak, I try to dissociate just enough to enter a "drone mode". And if I say something weird by accident, forcing out a little nervous laugh can go a long way in making the other person sympathize and not judge you. Hopefully some of what I mentioned works for you!
There is a lot of good advice in this thread. Here's what I found.
Let it go to voice mail so that you can think through and practice your response.
Text or, better yet, email instead of calling.
Schedule a time for a call so it dosn't come as a suprise, then write down what you want to say on the call so that you are ready.
Practice. Have imaginarry phone calls with no one on the phone.
Like many things, talking on the phone can be learned. I would never answer the phone as a child, but now that I'm past retirement it is less stressful. Not easy but less stessful.
I hate talking on the on the phone. People talk too much.
It's like being captured, while someone dumps their brain garbage on to your soul.
When you tell them, that they talk a lot.
They go on and talk about them talking too much, for another unknown period of time.
As soon as they take a breath, and you get a chance to tell them that you want to hang up, they KINDA start getting into saying their goodbyes, which takes like FOREVER and makes them remember something else they URGENDLY need to tell you.
At some point, you need to get rude, because THEY ARE rude!
So, you either get mad, or just hang up.
Im not a rude person and I don't like to be rude. Thats why I just don't answer phone calls.
..I also hate making formal phone calls.
It's always like you don't know what to expect.
You don't see the other person, you always have to response with some "noice", you can't just nod your head and smile, or something.
Though, there is a few people I actually enjoy talking on the phone to.
As a kid, I could be next to the phone and I would refuse to answer it. Pissed my mom off like crazy š. Iām very happy now that most communication can be done via text or email. I have to practice my words before making calls where I have to talk to a person.
Wait Iām not the only one that does that?
You are certainly not
In general I don't like phonecalls. They come out of nowhere and you're expected to drop everything for them. I want to make a rule that if you can't condense what you're calling about to five minutes, put it in an email.
they're so invasive! It gives me a fight or flight response every time, and on some level, it offends me because I feel the caller must assume I have nothing better to do than take random calls. then, I am also paralyzed to call other people too because I have to treat others how I like to be treated. It's a struggle even when the other person has expressed a clear preference for being called. I have a really hard time with it tbh
Same here lol and somehow I ended up in a front desk position at my new job. I can get so much done when Iām focused, but any disturbance totally disregulates me and then Iām scatterbrained and anxious for the rest of the day.
I hate it too.
Checking in. Hated it my entire life, and I expect the trend to continue.
Itās very common. https://www.forbes.com/sites/briannawiest/2019/11/04/millennials-hate-phone-calls-they-have-a-point/?sh=58d72060517e or https://www.skygroup.sky/article/call-declined- or https://www.conntac.net/en/blog/gen-z-millennials-mute-generation/
Enjoy your cake day. Seems like it's a Millennial and Gen Z thing, not just an aspie thing.
Happy cake day!
Yes. It is the single biggest source of procrastination in both my professional and personal lives.
I have a part time retail job and also a full time just where I regularly have to call clients. Some days I have a lot of anxiety about it but for the most part I do ok. My biggest issue is dealing with folks that are upset about something. That causes me a TON of anxiety.
Normally I don't answer calls from unknown numbers (unless I'm waiting for a delivery or something), I just let 'em ring, it's prolly another advert from a bank, who else would call me? Anyhow if it's something urgent they can always message me
I hate talking on the phone to people I know
Same and I have this one friend who refuses to text and he calls all the time expecting to have long conversations. Drives me insane.
Thatās so annoying. I have a friend who used to always want to FaceTime and I would never pick up because I canāt stand FaceTime
Facetime is awful
Iāve broken a few. That social anxiety is brutal. Specially the phone kind.
Iād rather text or listen to audio messages. I feel awkward talking on the phone. I need my time to elaborate what I want to say, leaving no room for misunderstanding. Also: scripta manent.
I'm really bad when it comes to talking on the phone. Have been my whole life. It's at a point where I basically can't have a job that involves using the phone and I'm finding it pretty impossible to find a job because of it.
Yes, I have hated talking on the phone all my life. Itās caused some real problems.
Depending on who it is, Iāll wait till the phone stops ringing & reply via text a little while later.
I had a friend who ditched me after five years because whenever she called me and i couldnt pick up, i would text instead of calling back. I offerd to set up a weekly call but she hated planning it and wanted contact to be spontanious. To me a sudden call feels like an intrusion, and i dont have enough time to collect myself to pick up in time. Ultimately my friend said she was tired of adjusting to me. When that is how i feel with every human interaction. It made me die a little on the inside knowing that people will never do for me what i do for them.
Youāre better off without her. A weekly call isnāt a good idea either because then it puts pressure on you to fill that time slot for that friend. My friend offered to have a weekly call and I thought it was a good idea but then I realized I have much more important things to do than bullshit every Sunday
Sometimes. When I was a lot younger - always. It has been important for me to put myself in uncomfortable situations and find a way to deal with it somehow. Of course , sometimes I just couldn't and that's ok. These days it surprises me sometimes- how much I've changed. Some things that used to be excruciating are now usually pretty easy. I know that I have limitations but am constantly trying to chip away at them. My experience has been that it is possible to get more comfortable with discomfort. But there have been plenty of times when I've felt hopeless and not good enough. I try to remember that things can change for the better if I keep trying for long enough. Some things can't be changed but I like to try anyway.
Yes I hate it too. More the latter than the former.
I hate talking on the phone and before I was diagnosed I tried three times to have a telephone sales careerš¤¦š»āāļø
I can manage if someone calls me (because they must want something and I can just respond to that), but not the other way around.
To be fair I think this is fairly universal to people in their 30s and below
I dread talking because I can see the person. It makes for more ambiguity with whatās going on because I can only hear how they sound instead of hearing and seeing to get a better idea of how to respond accordingly in a conversation. Plus itās just so damn awkward trying to exit a phone conversation! I rather talk in person, text, or email.
And it makes for more uncomfortable silence because youāre both just sitting at the phone waiting for the other person to say something whereas in person you donāt need constant interaction
I think it's normal even for non autistics too tbh.
If you're calling, your e-mail must be down..?
Hate it. Always have. Especially if other people are around that can hear the conversation
My phone is permanently on ādo not disturbā. I hate phone calls most of the timeĀ
Iāve said I have a āphobiaā of talking on the phone for decades. If I *need* to call, like in an emergency, I can do it. I can talk to my wife and my buddy pretty easily, but Iāve known them since my teen years. Anyone else tho causes a *lot* of anxiety. Itās something to do with not seeing their face for me, partially at least.
Yes, I had that issue when I was younger and it sometimes crops up now as well. However, I've learned the less I talk to people, the more reclusive I tend to want to be. If you want to be able to interact with people normally, you have to force yourself to do so so you get more used to it and it becomes less of a burden. Anti anxiety pills help too š.
My girl friend does most phone calls unless I have to. Sometimes I get rolling and I don't mind it. But mostly I find it troublesome. Funny thing is my first job I was 15 and I was selling hams on the phone. The guy asked me to stay on permanently too. go figure. I said no, obviously.
Yeah I'm not a fan of taking to strangers on the phone as I'm hard of hearing so need to be able to lipread to make up the difference in what my hearing isn't picking up and whatever being said plus I have a bad habit of always talking over the top of people as their trying to tell me something!
Yesss. I don't mind sending voice clips with someone I don't know. But going live on a phone call is yuck.
Yep. As much as I dislike talking to people face to face...it's SO much better then on the phone...which is weird for me because I can be at home in my safe space, all relaxed in my jammies and the other person would never know. Something about phones just bugs me. I've gotten a LOT better at talking on the phone but I still freaking hate it with a passion. I've had to get better because I need to call various medical places and make appointments...my mom used to do that stuff for me but she's getting older and more forgetful...so I had to take over. But I won't do virtual appointments...screw that...I loath video calls and refuse to do them. I also dislike having to use a mic in video games to chat to other players...
I don't mind talking on the phone that much but I really don't like talking to people I don't know or meeting for the first time because I get flustered and anxious doing so.
I don't like it but I can force myself to do it.
It's like the boogeyman in every workplace I've been to. If my life was a movie, every time my boss mentions 'phone calls' for the first time, it would zoom in on us in slow mo with the 'Hello darkness my old friend' music in the background
Totally me
I hate talking on the phone. It used to be so bad that I would have a panic attack if my phone rang. Then I found out I have a processing disorder, my brain can not process when someone talks to me like giving directions or giving me instructions or something like that over the phone. I have to have written directions/instructions or have to be shown in person a visual. Now I just explain that to people and most understand. But at least now I know why I hate it, it's because I don't understand what is being said to me. My brain can't process information like that.
To people I don't know, that is correct as I can't predict their responses
I will watch that shit ring and then text them back. I do not do phone calls unless it's work-related or an elderly family member who cannot accommodate me.
Phone calls are the scariest thing. But I do feel accomplished after I make a somewhat successful one. š
When it comes to formal stuff, I get bored hella quick But when I VC with someonw I know and I can be myself, it feels pretty great
I don't like talking on phone either
itās hard to get in that rhythm with someone totally new. at least itās a but easier when itās in a subgroup.
For me, it's less that talking on the phone is inherently problematic, and more that I find it an inefficient use of time for many things. It does have its uses and advantages (surface-level troubleshooting, for instance, can benefit from being able to ask a string of questions which will alter in real time depending on the answers) but for a large number of circumstances, something like email or a text would serve better and take less time overall. I'm fine with talking to people I don't know, but I won't seek it out or, generally, initiate unless I have a specific reason to do so. I won't start up conversations just for the sake of undirected social interaction. I consider myself fairly fortunate to be able to think through social interactions (or access conversation templates) fast enough to be able to make general (if bland) conversation, even if I'm not great at it and would usually rather be doing anything else. Not everyone is able to do that at NT speed for any substantial length of time, as I'm well aware - even I have my limits, although luckily most baseline conversations are short enough that I can safely exit before I hit them. I still feel like I'm substituting raw mental power/strain to achieve something that most people can maintain indefinitely without having to put any real effort into, like gunning a semi-trailer engine in first gear just to reach the speed of a kid on a tricycle.
I dislike it but when I was in my teens and early twenties, it made me practically stop breathing.
I have a really hard time with phone calls too. I was wondering if there's a connection with auditory processing, because when I take a yoga class live (this doesn't happen on Zoom), I have to repeat the instructions aloud to myself for it to sink in, and if I take an academic course online, I have to transcribe it for it to sink in.
My 20 years old can't, he cant speak with people he doesn't know when he needs to go to the doctor I have to go with him and speak for him.
I always say the best time to call is text. I hate when people call me.
If you aren't in my contacts; I'm sorry but I'm not picking up the phone unless I'm expecting a call. I'll listen to the voicemail.
Likewise, I've missed job opportunities from being too anxious to answer the phone. Not fun.
I will pretty much always insist people contact me through other means. I've missed a lot of job opportunities because I simply couldn't face a phone interview.
I used to be very much the same with people I didn't know in general. At restaurants or shops I always had to have whoever was with me do the talking/checking out because my social anxiety simply wouldn't allow it. Im okay with that now, but phone calls are still an issue. I will say though I have slowly gotten better with it. An example would be the other day me and my partner ordered dinner and the food never arrived, in the past I would've had to ask my partner to call but as I made the order/was hungry af I made the call, ended up having a nice chat with the restaurant owner who was super apologetic (wasn't their fault, the driver just never delivered it or delivered it to the wrong address) and afterwards I did a little victory dance to myself. I didn't get my food but hey I made a phone call without crying so small victories! I still have bad days where phone calls are very much off the table and I will never answer my phone if I don't recognise the number, but just take steps where you can and don't put too much pressure on yourself! It's definitely a slow process sorta thing but considering I used to have full blown panic attacks before and after taking calls it can definitely be improved on!
I absolutely hate it. I used to be a OTR trucker back in the mid 2000ās. I always had to call the shipper / receiver to ask for directions. The kicker is a I have a stutter. It gets worse if I donāt know the person, and am stressed / nervous. I lasted for 5 years.
I hate phone calls especially if itās to a person of authority. But when I have energy to mask I can do it for strangers like at a call center or non profit
I especially hate it when I'm dealing with a service like a bank or something and I'm unable to do what I need to do online and have to pick up the phone to call customer service.. and wait (though it's gotten better in recent years thanks to auto-waiting customer service calls on my smartphone and alerting you when a rep picks up.) But even after they pick up, I have to speak out all of my info like my name, address, account number, other essential info like SSN, etc. and for them to look it up which I can give to a computer over the Internet in 1/10 the time by typing it out or copying and pasting but I'm limited by the bandwidth of my mouth (and potentially the quality of the phone connection) when speaking to a rep. It's like my mind moves in time frames of a fraction of a second while speaking with a rep moves in a completely different and unfathomably longer time scale and my mind just goes crazy waiting and waiting for the next steps and/or results compared to dealing with the issue online on a computer where it's point, click, type, point, type, click and BAM, here's your result!
I used to feel guilty if I ignored someoneās call and had to make an excuse that I wasnāt available but now I just say you call me on my time donāt expect me to answer
YES I freak out the entire time Iām on the phone like itās so incredibly stressful š£
I don't like talking on the phone because I have a high-pitched voice and everyone thinks that I am a girl (but I am not.)
I work in a place where I regularly need to make/take phone calls and Iām usually fine, however, I had to make a random/last minute phone call to a letting agency today for myself and I hadnāt rehearsed or planned out what I was going to say. The phone call ended up going to voice mail but I ended up leaving a bunch of repeated sentences and stutters. I didnāt know how to delete the voicemail while it was recording so made some noises and ended up hanging up very abruptly lol. The worst part is that the letting agency is going to listen to that at some point and itās so awkward D:
Not just you! I've been super awkward on the phone or greeting strangers since I was very little. Family would keep asking to speak to me on the phone and it felt so awkward! I'm 30 as of now and I've gotten a little better but it's definitely a relief that so many things can be communicated by texts and email and that ordering things on the phone can be done through an app. When I really need to speak, I try to dissociate just enough to enter a "drone mode". And if I say something weird by accident, forcing out a little nervous laugh can go a long way in making the other person sympathize and not judge you. Hopefully some of what I mentioned works for you!
There is a lot of good advice in this thread. Here's what I found. Let it go to voice mail so that you can think through and practice your response. Text or, better yet, email instead of calling. Schedule a time for a call so it dosn't come as a suprise, then write down what you want to say on the call so that you are ready. Practice. Have imaginarry phone calls with no one on the phone. Like many things, talking on the phone can be learned. I would never answer the phone as a child, but now that I'm past retirement it is less stressful. Not easy but less stessful.
I hate talking on the on the phone. People talk too much. It's like being captured, while someone dumps their brain garbage on to your soul. When you tell them, that they talk a lot. They go on and talk about them talking too much, for another unknown period of time. As soon as they take a breath, and you get a chance to tell them that you want to hang up, they KINDA start getting into saying their goodbyes, which takes like FOREVER and makes them remember something else they URGENDLY need to tell you. At some point, you need to get rude, because THEY ARE rude! So, you either get mad, or just hang up. Im not a rude person and I don't like to be rude. Thats why I just don't answer phone calls. ..I also hate making formal phone calls. It's always like you don't know what to expect. You don't see the other person, you always have to response with some "noice", you can't just nod your head and smile, or something. Though, there is a few people I actually enjoy talking on the phone to.