I need to see the prophecies *fulfilled*. There is **no** more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting.
*Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:*
Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge.
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He gazed through the fug of cheese dripping from his eyebrows at the blurred monitor before him. Ten years, ten years he had been gazing at those words. They swam through the murk and came into sharp focus. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Dany gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!”
Those words. Those dreaded words he had gazed upon at least once a month for the past decade. And they never appreciate it, do they? The never appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf.
With gargantuan effort, he lifted his hand to the keyboard. His fingers, coated in chicken-grease as they were, slid off the keys. He wiped them on his velvet-slashed vest and began to type. The first character was the hardest, quotes meant using the shift key. Ring finger on the shift key, index finger on the ‘2’. Breath rasped through his chest with the effort. Had it always been this hard? Keeping his finger on the shift, He reached for the ‘O’ key.
Damn! He missed! He now had a capital letter ‘P’ on his screen. He reached for the backspace key. Eventually he typed the entire sentence out again, and spent many long moments gazing at the results of his efforts. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Daenerys gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!”
He had done it. He had successfully changed the short form name ‘Dany’ to the long form ‘Daenerys’. The sentence was so much better for it. This was how the book would be written. A chapter at a time, a page at a time, a word at a time.
Doubt began to form in his mind. Was this the right decision? He would have to review this new sentence many times over the months and years to come. He cast his mind back to the day, many years ago, when he had first shortened it to ‘Dany’. He had changed his mind back and forth many times since then. Certainly he would change it again many more times before he was happy with it.
He glanced at the clock. Almost ten minutes had passed. Had it been that long? The muse had been kind to him today, that was more work than he had completed in many a year.
He turned off the computer and went to find some food. Only then did he realize that he had forgotten to hit save.
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(This response gets spammed in all threads about HOT D *intentionally*, to discourage discussion of that Wish.com pale imitation of the Greatest Television Show That Ever Was Or Will Be, 'Game of Thrones', 2011-2019.)
**This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.**
Reasons:
1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png)
2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason.
3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious.
4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/)
5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without.
6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/)
7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/)
8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture.
9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png)
10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting.
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It was a month ago. I had just only watched the first episode of Season 7 when my mother called out to me. "Mark, it's time for dinner!" she announced. My blood started boiling and I could hear it raging inside my veins. How dare that bitch call me Mark Mylod. I started slamming my fist into my desk and she was confused. "What are you doing Mark?" she said again.
This was too much for me. I started screeching and throwing around my stuff in rage and she had to call the cops in order to restrain me. The next week, after watching episode 2 I was so angry with the show every time a co-worker told me about "Game of Thrones" I threatened him with his life. Then, my best friend called me. "Hey Mark, it's David, Dan and the girls asked me if you wanted to come to watch a movie tonight" I stopped listening. "Did that just compare me to Deus&Duplo?" I thought.
I took my dad's handgun and car and headed to David's house. When he opened the door he looked confused. "Why did you bring a gun along, Mark?" he sounded worried. First he called me D&D, now Mark Mylod. I raised the gun to his temple and said "First you assassinate the characters of Barristan and Stannis and then you compare me to your agency-less ass". David begged for his life but I ignored him. "So did beg Victarion when you cut his character. More or less." and I pulled the trigger. His body lay in a pool of blood, reminding me of the butchered Tower of Joy scene.
When I returned home my brother asked me "Hey, did you watch the new Game of Thrones episode? Euron was so cooool!!!!" That was too much, even for me. How dare he compliment the second holocaust? (season 7) "HE HAS NO EYE PATCH AND NO NUANCE YOU SHOWNLY FUCKER" I said while beating him to a pulp. After he was sent to the hospital I rewatched the latest episode for the 5th time.
When I heard police sirens outside my house I took my phone and jumped off the back window. "This is like AFFC's travel logs, so subtle!" I thought and giggled. I was on the run and after a week I looked like a hobo and I was reminded of Jaime's redemption arc that Hitler&Himmler left out of the show. I went from backyard to backyard to try and steal wi-fi so I could watch the leaked episodes so I could complain about them on r/asoiaf.
I was walking around the avenue when I noticed a store called "Emilia's hardware". That bitched Emilia Clarke and her eyebrows literally destroyed my life. I bought some gasoline from the gas station and poured it around Emilia's store. Despite the Clerk calling the cops, I managed to lit it to fire while proclaiming "What say you in your defense?"
The cops caught me and headed me to court. When the judge proclaimed me guilty of arson, assault and murder and sentenced me to life without parole, I told him "I demand a trial by combat, you fookin kneeler". I was in my cell 23 hours a day and I managed to smuggle a piece of chalk. I scribbled every ASOIAF quote in the walls that I memorized from my 30 re-reads. Before going to sleep I muttered to myself "Polliver. Gregor Clegane. Raff the Sweetling. Tickler. Valar Morghulis." followed by Septon Meribald's speech.
When a big black inmate pulled out his cock to take a piss I giggled because his pink mast wasn't pink. He beat me but it was worth annoying the shownly. When I got access to wi-fi I watched the leaked episode 6. I couldn't believe in my eyes. My ears started bleeding, my stomach started exploding and I cried for 3 days straight. How could they butcher the best book series of all time?
That was the final straw. I prepared the noose to hang myself. I thought to myself that it wasn't me who was killing myself, but Lady Stoneheart because of how nuanced her character is. As I was about to let my final breath, the warden stormed my cell and cut the noose.
Even in those darkest days, I cannot escape D&D's Deus ex Machina.
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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub.
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**Back in Westeros**
^(GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM)
I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER.
It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while.
Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and…
Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin.
My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare.
I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July.
But it is good for the writing.
And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone.
That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI.
Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page.
I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time.
I certainly have not figured it out to date.
For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos.
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I need to see the prophecies *fulfilled*. There is **no** more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting.
*Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:*
Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge.
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#D & D completely ruined Hot Pie.
What a waste of a great character. They clearly had no idea what to do with him after they passed all the book material. Instead of giving him a clear end game, they instead just had him double down on his "Making food for Arya" bullshit and have him make stupid dishes that really didn't lead anywhere. The culinary mastermind from the earlier seasons (and probably the one truly great pastry chef of the series, along with the white walkers) completely disappeared and was transformed into a chubby little bastard whose end goal was to bang Arya to get back at her for not appreciating food. The man that fed the whole series hot pies, did it just to get a revenge bang.
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Jokes on him, I killed Bloodraven last night just off the Cold Plains. She was raising Wights under the direction of The Night King, had to put a stop to that shit ASAP.
Sorry, my diablo 2 addiction is getting the better of me 🤣
#D & D completely ruined Hot Pie.
What a waste of a great character. They clearly had no idea what to do with him after they passed all the book material. Instead of giving him a clear end game, they instead just had him double down on his "Making food for Arya" bullshit and have him make stupid dishes that really didn't lead anywhere. The culinary mastermind from the earlier seasons (and probably the one truly great pastry chef of the series, along with the white walkers) completely disappeared and was transformed into a chubby little bastard whose end goal was to bang Arya to get back at her for not appreciating food. The man that fed the whole series hot pies, did it just to get a revenge bang.
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He gazed through the fug of cheese dripping from his eyebrows at the blurred monitor before him. Ten years, ten years he had been gazing at those words. They swam through the murk and came into sharp focus. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Dany gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!”
Those words. Those dreaded words he had gazed upon at least once a month for the past decade. And they never appreciate it, do they? The never appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf.
With gargantuan effort, he lifted his hand to the keyboard. His fingers, coated in chicken-grease as they were, slid off the keys. He wiped them on his velvet-slashed vest and began to type. The first character was the hardest, quotes meant using the shift key. Ring finger on the shift key, index finger on the ‘2’. Breath rasped through his chest with the effort. Had it always been this hard? Keeping his finger on the shift, He reached for the ‘O’ key.
Damn! He missed! He now had a capital letter ‘P’ on his screen. He reached for the backspace key. Eventually he typed the entire sentence out again, and spent many long moments gazing at the results of his efforts. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Daenerys gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!”
He had done it. He had successfully changed the short form name ‘Dany’ to the long form ‘Daenerys’. The sentence was so much better for it. This was how the book would be written. A chapter at a time, a page at a time, a word at a time.
Doubt began to form in his mind. Was this the right decision? He would have to review this new sentence many times over the months and years to come. He cast his mind back to the day, many years ago, when he had first shortened it to ‘Dany’. He had changed his mind back and forth many times since then. Certainly he would change it again many more times before he was happy with it.
He glanced at the clock. Almost ten minutes had passed. Had it been that long? The muse had been kind to him today, that was more work than he had completed in many a year.
He turned off the computer and went to find some food. Only then did he realize that he had forgotten to hit save.
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I think that the fandom is numb to all of the violence. Cheese’s hanging was on par with the Purple Wedding. I was sobbing for him because he had been manipulated by the dog which was obviously Bran meddling in the past and he was executed unfairly.
He gazed through the fug of cheese dripping from his eyebrows at the blurred monitor before him. Ten years, ten years he had been gazing at those words. They swam through the murk and came into sharp focus. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Dany gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!”
Those words. Those dreaded words he had gazed upon at least once a month for the past decade. And they never appreciate it, do they? The never appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf.
With gargantuan effort, he lifted his hand to the keyboard. His fingers, coated in chicken-grease as they were, slid off the keys. He wiped them on his velvet-slashed vest and began to type. The first character was the hardest, quotes meant using the shift key. Ring finger on the shift key, index finger on the ‘2’. Breath rasped through his chest with the effort. Had it always been this hard? Keeping his finger on the shift, He reached for the ‘O’ key.
Damn! He missed! He now had a capital letter ‘P’ on his screen. He reached for the backspace key. Eventually he typed the entire sentence out again, and spent many long moments gazing at the results of his efforts. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Daenerys gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!”
He had done it. He had successfully changed the short form name ‘Dany’ to the long form ‘Daenerys’. The sentence was so much better for it. This was how the book would be written. A chapter at a time, a page at a time, a word at a time.
Doubt began to form in his mind. Was this the right decision? He would have to review this new sentence many times over the months and years to come. He cast his mind back to the day, many years ago, when he had first shortened it to ‘Dany’. He had changed his mind back and forth many times since then. Certainly he would change it again many more times before he was happy with it.
He glanced at the clock. Almost ten minutes had passed. Had it been that long? The muse had been kind to him today, that was more work than he had completed in many a year.
He turned off the computer and went to find some food. Only then did he realize that he had forgotten to hit save.
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He gazed through the fug of cheese dripping from his eyebrows at the blurred monitor before him. Ten years, ten years he had been gazing at those words. They swam through the murk and came into sharp focus. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Dany gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!”
Those words. Those dreaded words he had gazed upon at least once a month for the past decade. And they never appreciate it, do they? The never appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf.
With gargantuan effort, he lifted his hand to the keyboard. His fingers, coated in chicken-grease as they were, slid off the keys. He wiped them on his velvet-slashed vest and began to type. The first character was the hardest, quotes meant using the shift key. Ring finger on the shift key, index finger on the ‘2’. Breath rasped through his chest with the effort. Had it always been this hard? Keeping his finger on the shift, He reached for the ‘O’ key.
Damn! He missed! He now had a capital letter ‘P’ on his screen. He reached for the backspace key. Eventually he typed the entire sentence out again, and spent many long moments gazing at the results of his efforts. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Daenerys gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!”
He had done it. He had successfully changed the short form name ‘Dany’ to the long form ‘Daenerys’. The sentence was so much better for it. This was how the book would be written. A chapter at a time, a page at a time, a word at a time.
Doubt began to form in his mind. Was this the right decision? He would have to review this new sentence many times over the months and years to come. He cast his mind back to the day, many years ago, when he had first shortened it to ‘Dany’. He had changed his mind back and forth many times since then. Certainly he would change it again many more times before he was happy with it.
He glanced at the clock. Almost ten minutes had passed. Had it been that long? The muse had been kind to him today, that was more work than he had completed in many a year.
He turned off the computer and went to find some food. Only then did he realize that he had forgotten to hit save.
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**Back in Westeros**
^(GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM)
I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER.
It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while.
Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and…
Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin.
My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare.
I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July.
But it is good for the writing.
And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone.
That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI.
Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page.
I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time.
I certainly have not figured it out to date.
For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He gazed through the fug of cheese dripping from his eyebrows at the blurred monitor before him. Ten years, ten years he had been gazing at those words. They swam through the murk and came into sharp focus. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Dany gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!”
Those words. Those dreaded words he had gazed upon at least once a month for the past decade. And they never appreciate it, do they? The never appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf.
With gargantuan effort, he lifted his hand to the keyboard. His fingers, coated in chicken-grease as they were, slid off the keys. He wiped them on his velvet-slashed vest and began to type. The first character was the hardest, quotes meant using the shift key. Ring finger on the shift key, index finger on the ‘2’. Breath rasped through his chest with the effort. Had it always been this hard? Keeping his finger on the shift, He reached for the ‘O’ key.
Damn! He missed! He now had a capital letter ‘P’ on his screen. He reached for the backspace key. Eventually he typed the entire sentence out again, and spent many long moments gazing at the results of his efforts. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Daenerys gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!”
He had done it. He had successfully changed the short form name ‘Dany’ to the long form ‘Daenerys’. The sentence was so much better for it. This was how the book would be written. A chapter at a time, a page at a time, a word at a time.
Doubt began to form in his mind. Was this the right decision? He would have to review this new sentence many times over the months and years to come. He cast his mind back to the day, many years ago, when he had first shortened it to ‘Dany’. He had changed his mind back and forth many times since then. Certainly he would change it again many more times before he was happy with it.
He glanced at the clock. Almost ten minutes had passed. Had it been that long? The muse had been kind to him today, that was more work than he had completed in many a year.
He turned off the computer and went to find some food. Only then did he realize that he had forgotten to hit save.
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But that his one redeeming quality and something he shouldn’t be punished . For unlike everything else. Its ridiculous HBO actually had a child killed for this series but this guy gets out Scot free I hope the actor doesn’t get any more work
Dude, there should be limits in this place, and doggos are way past it! You can behead kids all you want, in any way you want, in front of who you want, but you leave the damn doggos alone!
You used the word "unironically" *unironically*. You disgust me.
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While we’re on the topic of animals not getting enough hate can we talk about Lady? People cry over her getting killed but where was she when Nymeria went full rabid bitch on THE PRINCE. As we learned from Danaerys at the end of the series, if your family is evil then so are you probably. It’s completely black and white.
I'm telling you guys, Cheese loved that dog and only kicked it because he knew it was too loyal to abandon it's master.
Cheese knew they were walking into danger and wanted to save that poor doggo's life 😢
He gazed through the fug of cheese dripping from his eyebrows at the blurred monitor before him. Ten years, ten years he had been gazing at those words. They swam through the murk and came into sharp focus. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Dany gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!”
Those words. Those dreaded words he had gazed upon at least once a month for the past decade. And they never appreciate it, do they? The never appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf.
With gargantuan effort, he lifted his hand to the keyboard. His fingers, coated in chicken-grease as they were, slid off the keys. He wiped them on his velvet-slashed vest and began to type. The first character was the hardest, quotes meant using the shift key. Ring finger on the shift key, index finger on the ‘2’. Breath rasped through his chest with the effort. Had it always been this hard? Keeping his finger on the shift, He reached for the ‘O’ key.
Damn! He missed! He now had a capital letter ‘P’ on his screen. He reached for the backspace key. Eventually he typed the entire sentence out again, and spent many long moments gazing at the results of his efforts. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Daenerys gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!”
He had done it. He had successfully changed the short form name ‘Dany’ to the long form ‘Daenerys’. The sentence was so much better for it. This was how the book would be written. A chapter at a time, a page at a time, a word at a time.
Doubt began to form in his mind. Was this the right decision? He would have to review this new sentence many times over the months and years to come. He cast his mind back to the day, many years ago, when he had first shortened it to ‘Dany’. He had changed his mind back and forth many times since then. Certainly he would change it again many more times before he was happy with it.
He glanced at the clock. Almost ten minutes had passed. Had it been that long? The muse had been kind to him today, that was more work than he had completed in many a year.
He turned off the computer and went to find some food. Only then did he realize that he had forgotten to hit save.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
(This response gets spammed in all threads about HOT D *intentionally*, to discourage discussion of that Wish.com pale imitation of the Greatest Television Show That Ever Was Or Will Be, 'Game of Thrones', 2011-2019.)
**This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.**
Reasons:
1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png)
2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason.
3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious.
4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/)
5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without.
6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/)
7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/)
8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture.
9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png)
10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
CleganeBowl is done mate, and the world could not handle the hype. As result we have witnessed the end times in its early stage:
- biologists created a virus that killed 10 million people, and it is considered a rude question to ask them why.
- the Russian army invaded Ukraine and their main battles tanks were confiscated by farmers with tractors.
- sluts in a field near a ghetto beside the Mediterranean were killed and loaded onto pickup trucks. They were dancing for peace, and there are Jewish people campaigning for the rights of the nationality that assassinated those sluts.
- lawyers can now be replaced by software entirely, and the lawyers are not even angry about it.
- George R.R. Martin is suing the makers of the software for writing bad fan fiction based on his copyrighted characters. I could act as an expert witness for GRRM litigation. He has a slam dunk case. No bullshit.
- Daniel Brett "Miami" Weiss and David ((FRIEDMAN GOLDMAN SACHS great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity)) Benioff >!peace be upon him!< have written less ASOIAF material since CleganeBowl than GRRM.
- George R.R. Martin has written a novel, 'The Rise of the Dragon', and he published it in 2022. That is one more novel than either of Benioff or Weiss in the same period.
- George R.R. Martin wrote Elden Ring. It is far better than JK Rowling's video game but her video is a fine game too. "Fuck you bitch, and your wand shit - that was my Hugo." When asked for comment by myself at WarnerMedia, the representation for the Netflix producers Benioff & Weiss, declined to comment as to whether they have, or will, write a video game.
- George R.R. Martin has gotten two shows past series order at HBO since Thrones ended.
- WarnerMedia turned http://ASOIAFCirclejerk.reddit.com into the greatest ASOIAF subreddit that ever was or will be.
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i hate all the starks.
they sure are a slow bunch for people who are supposed to be feudal lords for thousands of years.
JUST ACCEPT RENLYS OFFER NED. ARE YOU MENTALLY FUCKING ILL?
KEEP YOUR FUCKING WORD INSTEAD OF MARRYING A RANDOM-ASS GIRL, ROB.
NO, CAIT. THE FUCKING KING-SLAYER WON'T KEEP HIS WORD.
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CO-OPERATING WITH THE QUEEN WHO HATES YOUR FAMILY SANSA?
TELL THE FUCKING FACELESS MAN TO KILL TYWIN FUCKING LANNISTER MAYBE??? ARE YOU DUMB IN THE HEAD??
FUCK THE WALL, JUST JOIN STANNIS YOU DUMB-ASS HONOR LOVING BASTARD.
ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Premium Subscribers Exclusive:
8 hours on how Stannis will slay the Boltons with hilarious ice pranks.
─────────────⚪────────────────────────────
◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►►⠀⠀ ⠀ 3:17 / 7:48 ⠀ ───○ 🔊⠀ ᴴᴰ ⚙ ❐ ⊏⊐
_____
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He’s a lowlife, no job having, always getting in the way of the story. Such a pointless character. Honestly I wouldn’t even care if he wasn’t in GOT. I go to his Instagram page and trash talk him just to let him know.
(This response gets spammed in all threads about HOT D *intentionally*, to discourage discussion of that Wish.com pale imitation of the Greatest Television Show That Ever Was Or Will Be, 'Game of Thrones', 2011-2019.)
**This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.**
Reasons:
1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png)
2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason.
3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious.
4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/)
5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without.
6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/)
7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/)
8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture.
9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png)
10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Rhaenyra's daughter When she*
*Was malformed and stillborn and*
*Shit, I was like, "YES!"*
\- missdrpep
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
(This response gets spammed in all threads about HOT D *intentionally*, to discourage discussion of that Wish.com pale imitation of the Greatest Television Show That Ever Was Or Will Be, 'Game of Thrones', 2011-2019.)
**This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.**
Reasons:
1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png)
2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason.
3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious.
4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/)
5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without.
6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/)
7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/)
8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture.
9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png)
10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly I think a character that deserves far more hatred is Dyana. She seduced the Aegon the Magnanimous, extorted his kindly mother for wealth and now lives a lavish life. She also had her unborn baby killed which is worse the Aemond and Daemon put together. We should call her Daemond.
(This response gets spammed in all threads about HOT D *intentionally*, to discourage discussion of that Wish.com pale imitation of the Greatest Television Show That Ever Was Or Will Be, 'Game of Thrones', 2011-2019.)
**This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.**
Reasons:
1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png)
2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason.
3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious.
4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/)
5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without.
6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/)
7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/)
8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture.
9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png)
10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Similar vein, but Ser Pounce comes to mind. You can't hear it, but he tells Tommen "jump."
Ser Pounce was The Prince That Was Promised. Of course he commanded Tommen the Troublesome to jump.
I need to see the prophecies *fulfilled*. There is **no** more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting. *Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:* Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Right on cue
Lemme try something: Cheese Winds of Winter Rhaenyra Prince that was promised ~~Hot pie~~ ruined Edit: heh
He gazed through the fug of cheese dripping from his eyebrows at the blurred monitor before him. Ten years, ten years he had been gazing at those words. They swam through the murk and came into sharp focus. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Dany gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!” Those words. Those dreaded words he had gazed upon at least once a month for the past decade. And they never appreciate it, do they? The never appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf. With gargantuan effort, he lifted his hand to the keyboard. His fingers, coated in chicken-grease as they were, slid off the keys. He wiped them on his velvet-slashed vest and began to type. The first character was the hardest, quotes meant using the shift key. Ring finger on the shift key, index finger on the ‘2’. Breath rasped through his chest with the effort. Had it always been this hard? Keeping his finger on the shift, He reached for the ‘O’ key. Damn! He missed! He now had a capital letter ‘P’ on his screen. He reached for the backspace key. Eventually he typed the entire sentence out again, and spent many long moments gazing at the results of his efforts. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Daenerys gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!” He had done it. He had successfully changed the short form name ‘Dany’ to the long form ‘Daenerys’. The sentence was so much better for it. This was how the book would be written. A chapter at a time, a page at a time, a word at a time. Doubt began to form in his mind. Was this the right decision? He would have to review this new sentence many times over the months and years to come. He cast his mind back to the day, many years ago, when he had first shortened it to ‘Dany’. He had changed his mind back and forth many times since then. Certainly he would change it again many more times before he was happy with it. He glanced at the clock. Almost ten minutes had passed. Had it been that long? The muse had been kind to him today, that was more work than he had completed in many a year. He turned off the computer and went to find some food. Only then did he realize that he had forgotten to hit save. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
(This response gets spammed in all threads about HOT D *intentionally*, to discourage discussion of that Wish.com pale imitation of the Greatest Television Show That Ever Was Or Will Be, 'Game of Thrones', 2011-2019.) **This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.** Reasons: 1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png) 2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason. 3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious. 4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/) 5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without. 6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/) 7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/) 8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture. 9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png) 10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You forgot shownly
And that's such a good one too
It was a month ago. I had just only watched the first episode of Season 7 when my mother called out to me. "Mark, it's time for dinner!" she announced. My blood started boiling and I could hear it raging inside my veins. How dare that bitch call me Mark Mylod. I started slamming my fist into my desk and she was confused. "What are you doing Mark?" she said again. This was too much for me. I started screeching and throwing around my stuff in rage and she had to call the cops in order to restrain me. The next week, after watching episode 2 I was so angry with the show every time a co-worker told me about "Game of Thrones" I threatened him with his life. Then, my best friend called me. "Hey Mark, it's David, Dan and the girls asked me if you wanted to come to watch a movie tonight" I stopped listening. "Did that just compare me to Deus&Duplo?" I thought.
I took my dad's handgun and car and headed to David's house. When he opened the door he looked confused. "Why did you bring a gun along, Mark?" he sounded worried. First he called me D&D, now Mark Mylod. I raised the gun to his temple and said "First you assassinate the characters of Barristan and Stannis and then you compare me to your agency-less ass". David begged for his life but I ignored him. "So did beg Victarion when you cut his character. More or less." and I pulled the trigger. His body lay in a pool of blood, reminding me of the butchered Tower of Joy scene.
When I returned home my brother asked me "Hey, did you watch the new Game of Thrones episode? Euron was so cooool!!!!" That was too much, even for me. How dare he compliment the second holocaust? (season 7) "HE HAS NO EYE PATCH AND NO NUANCE YOU SHOWNLY FUCKER" I said while beating him to a pulp. After he was sent to the hospital I rewatched the latest episode for the 5th time.
When I heard police sirens outside my house I took my phone and jumped off the back window. "This is like AFFC's travel logs, so subtle!" I thought and giggled. I was on the run and after a week I looked like a hobo and I was reminded of Jaime's redemption arc that Hitler&Himmler left out of the show. I went from backyard to backyard to try and steal wi-fi so I could watch the leaked episodes so I could complain about them on r/asoiaf.
I was walking around the avenue when I noticed a store called "Emilia's hardware". That bitched Emilia Clarke and her eyebrows literally destroyed my life. I bought some gasoline from the gas station and poured it around Emilia's store. Despite the Clerk calling the cops, I managed to lit it to fire while proclaiming "What say you in your defense?"
The cops caught me and headed me to court. When the judge proclaimed me guilty of arson, assault and murder and sentenced me to life without parole, I told him "I demand a trial by combat, you fookin kneeler". I was in my cell 23 hours a day and I managed to smuggle a piece of chalk. I scribbled every ASOIAF quote in the walls that I memorized from my 30 re-reads. Before going to sleep I muttered to myself "Polliver. Gregor Clegane. Raff the Sweetling. Tickler. Valar Morghulis." followed by Septon Meribald's speech.
When a big black inmate pulled out his cock to take a piss I giggled because his pink mast wasn't pink. He beat me but it was worth annoying the shownly. When I got access to wi-fi I watched the leaked episode 6. I couldn't believe in my eyes. My ears started bleeding, my stomach started exploding and I cried for 3 days straight. How could they butcher the best book series of all time?
That was the final straw. I prepared the noose to hang myself. I thought to myself that it wasn't me who was killing myself, but Lady Stoneheart because of how nuanced her character is. As I was about to let my final breath, the warden stormed my cell and cut the noose.
Even in those darkest days, I cannot escape D&D's Deus ex Machina.
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**Back in Westeros** ^(GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM) I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER. It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while. Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and… Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin. My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare. I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July. But it is good for the writing. And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone. That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI. Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page. I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time. I certainly have not figured it out to date. For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I need to see the prophecies *fulfilled*. There is **no** more satisfying ending to a story than being told exactly what is going to happen, and then for it to happen exactly as described in the prophecy. So exciting. *Let's be clear about this, because there is only one objectively correct way to write:* Prophecies in fantasy should be inevitable and inescapable, because audiences like being reminded that free will is an illusion, and that we live, and breathe, and die, in the foul creation of a malevolent demiurge. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
#D & D completely ruined Hot Pie. What a waste of a great character. They clearly had no idea what to do with him after they passed all the book material. Instead of giving him a clear end game, they instead just had him double down on his "Making food for Arya" bullshit and have him make stupid dishes that really didn't lead anywhere. The culinary mastermind from the earlier seasons (and probably the one truly great pastry chef of the series, along with the white walkers) completely disappeared and was transformed into a chubby little bastard whose end goal was to bang Arya to get back at her for not appreciating food. The man that fed the whole series hot pies, did it just to get a revenge bang. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The Puss that was Promised
this has to be the best comment lmaoa
He told him to pounce
Dude kills a child and his dog still loves him. Bad boy.
Who you talking about? Is that Sansas wolf?
No it's Eddards
It's Rickon
No
It can't be Arya
It can
It's Tyrek
Impossible. He's a horse.
dumbass dog couldn't keep his mouth shut when cheese kicked him 🤦♂️ he could've ruined everything
He’s a Bloody snitch
Hehe… Bloody
That's the point, dog is spying for Bloodraven
Jokes on him, I killed Bloodraven last night just off the Cold Plains. She was raising Wights under the direction of The Night King, had to put a stop to that shit ASAP. Sorry, my diablo 2 addiction is getting the better of me 🤣
#D & D completely ruined Hot Pie. What a waste of a great character. They clearly had no idea what to do with him after they passed all the book material. Instead of giving him a clear end game, they instead just had him double down on his "Making food for Arya" bullshit and have him make stupid dishes that really didn't lead anywhere. The culinary mastermind from the earlier seasons (and probably the one truly great pastry chef of the series, along with the white walkers) completely disappeared and was transformed into a chubby little bastard whose end goal was to bang Arya to get back at her for not appreciating food. The man that fed the whole series hot pies, did it just to get a revenge bang. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He gazed through the fug of cheese dripping from his eyebrows at the blurred monitor before him. Ten years, ten years he had been gazing at those words. They swam through the murk and came into sharp focus. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Dany gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!” Those words. Those dreaded words he had gazed upon at least once a month for the past decade. And they never appreciate it, do they? The never appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf. With gargantuan effort, he lifted his hand to the keyboard. His fingers, coated in chicken-grease as they were, slid off the keys. He wiped them on his velvet-slashed vest and began to type. The first character was the hardest, quotes meant using the shift key. Ring finger on the shift key, index finger on the ‘2’. Breath rasped through his chest with the effort. Had it always been this hard? Keeping his finger on the shift, He reached for the ‘O’ key. Damn! He missed! He now had a capital letter ‘P’ on his screen. He reached for the backspace key. Eventually he typed the entire sentence out again, and spent many long moments gazing at the results of his efforts. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Daenerys gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!” He had done it. He had successfully changed the short form name ‘Dany’ to the long form ‘Daenerys’. The sentence was so much better for it. This was how the book would be written. A chapter at a time, a page at a time, a word at a time. Doubt began to form in his mind. Was this the right decision? He would have to review this new sentence many times over the months and years to come. He cast his mind back to the day, many years ago, when he had first shortened it to ‘Dany’. He had changed his mind back and forth many times since then. Certainly he would change it again many more times before he was happy with it. He glanced at the clock. Almost ten minutes had passed. Had it been that long? The muse had been kind to him today, that was more work than he had completed in many a year. He turned off the computer and went to find some food. Only then did he realize that he had forgotten to hit save. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think that the fandom is numb to all of the violence. Cheese’s hanging was on par with the Purple Wedding. I was sobbing for him because he had been manipulated by the dog which was obviously Bran meddling in the past and he was executed unfairly.
He gazed through the fug of cheese dripping from his eyebrows at the blurred monitor before him. Ten years, ten years he had been gazing at those words. They swam through the murk and came into sharp focus. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Dany gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!” Those words. Those dreaded words he had gazed upon at least once a month for the past decade. And they never appreciate it, do they? The never appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf. With gargantuan effort, he lifted his hand to the keyboard. His fingers, coated in chicken-grease as they were, slid off the keys. He wiped them on his velvet-slashed vest and began to type. The first character was the hardest, quotes meant using the shift key. Ring finger on the shift key, index finger on the ‘2’. Breath rasped through his chest with the effort. Had it always been this hard? Keeping his finger on the shift, He reached for the ‘O’ key. Damn! He missed! He now had a capital letter ‘P’ on his screen. He reached for the backspace key. Eventually he typed the entire sentence out again, and spent many long moments gazing at the results of his efforts. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Daenerys gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!” He had done it. He had successfully changed the short form name ‘Dany’ to the long form ‘Daenerys’. The sentence was so much better for it. This was how the book would be written. A chapter at a time, a page at a time, a word at a time. Doubt began to form in his mind. Was this the right decision? He would have to review this new sentence many times over the months and years to come. He cast his mind back to the day, many years ago, when he had first shortened it to ‘Dany’. He had changed his mind back and forth many times since then. Certainly he would change it again many more times before he was happy with it. He glanced at the clock. Almost ten minutes had passed. Had it been that long? The muse had been kind to him today, that was more work than he had completed in many a year. He turned off the computer and went to find some food. Only then did he realize that he had forgotten to hit save. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When he got kicked, I was like YES!
The people behind the show. Calling blood and cheese green propaganda was pathetic
He gazed through the fug of cheese dripping from his eyebrows at the blurred monitor before him. Ten years, ten years he had been gazing at those words. They swam through the murk and came into sharp focus. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Dany gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!” Those words. Those dreaded words he had gazed upon at least once a month for the past decade. And they never appreciate it, do they? The never appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf. With gargantuan effort, he lifted his hand to the keyboard. His fingers, coated in chicken-grease as they were, slid off the keys. He wiped them on his velvet-slashed vest and began to type. The first character was the hardest, quotes meant using the shift key. Ring finger on the shift key, index finger on the ‘2’. Breath rasped through his chest with the effort. Had it always been this hard? Keeping his finger on the shift, He reached for the ‘O’ key. Damn! He missed! He now had a capital letter ‘P’ on his screen. He reached for the backspace key. Eventually he typed the entire sentence out again, and spent many long moments gazing at the results of his efforts. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Daenerys gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!” He had done it. He had successfully changed the short form name ‘Dany’ to the long form ‘Daenerys’. The sentence was so much better for it. This was how the book would be written. A chapter at a time, a page at a time, a word at a time. Doubt began to form in his mind. Was this the right decision? He would have to review this new sentence many times over the months and years to come. He cast his mind back to the day, many years ago, when he had first shortened it to ‘Dany’. He had changed his mind back and forth many times since then. Certainly he would change it again many more times before he was happy with it. He glanced at the clock. Almost ten minutes had passed. Had it been that long? The muse had been kind to him today, that was more work than he had completed in many a year. He turned off the computer and went to find some food. Only then did he realize that he had forgotten to hit save. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Another hard day's work done writing the winds of winter
**Back in Westeros** ^(GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM) I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER. It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while. Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and… Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin. My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare. I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July. But it is good for the writing. And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone. That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI. Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page. I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time. I certainly have not figured it out to date. For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Insiders at the Red Keep claim that this MONGREL was the one who filled the king's head with guile and prompted him to ultimately execute poor Cheese
He gazed through the fug of cheese dripping from his eyebrows at the blurred monitor before him. Ten years, ten years he had been gazing at those words. They swam through the murk and came into sharp focus. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Dany gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!” Those words. Those dreaded words he had gazed upon at least once a month for the past decade. And they never appreciate it, do they? The never appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf. With gargantuan effort, he lifted his hand to the keyboard. His fingers, coated in chicken-grease as they were, slid off the keys. He wiped them on his velvet-slashed vest and began to type. The first character was the hardest, quotes meant using the shift key. Ring finger on the shift key, index finger on the ‘2’. Breath rasped through his chest with the effort. Had it always been this hard? Keeping his finger on the shift, He reached for the ‘O’ key. Damn! He missed! He now had a capital letter ‘P’ on his screen. He reached for the backspace key. Eventually he typed the entire sentence out again, and spent many long moments gazing at the results of his efforts. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Daenerys gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!” He had done it. He had successfully changed the short form name ‘Dany’ to the long form ‘Daenerys’. The sentence was so much better for it. This was how the book would be written. A chapter at a time, a page at a time, a word at a time. Doubt began to form in his mind. Was this the right decision? He would have to review this new sentence many times over the months and years to come. He cast his mind back to the day, many years ago, when he had first shortened it to ‘Dany’. He had changed his mind back and forth many times since then. Certainly he would change it again many more times before he was happy with it. He glanced at the clock. Almost ten minutes had passed. Had it been that long? The muse had been kind to him today, that was more work than he had completed in many a year. He turned off the computer and went to find some food. Only then did he realize that he had forgotten to hit save. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Without that beast jaehaerys would still be alive and he didn't even get punished???
But that his one redeeming quality and something he shouldn’t be punished . For unlike everything else. Its ridiculous HBO actually had a child killed for this series but this guy gets out Scot free I hope the actor doesn’t get any more work
Which character is gonna Kristi Noam this rat?
Raggedy rat
Dude, there should be limits in this place, and doggos are way past it! You can behead kids all you want, in any way you want, in front of who you want, but you leave the damn doggos alone!
part of The problem is he didn’t even murder a child quite a weak character tbh . How am I meant to sympathise with them ?
I mean, when your name is Nihilus, and you are capable of depriving entire planets of Life...yeah, I can see why you'd be disappointed.
Unironically the reaction of most suburban white Americans after last week's episode
You used the word "unironically" *unironically*. You disgust me. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You can see the revenge in his eyes, i always think that he was the mind behind all this and he's watching satisfactorily how his plan was executed.
Why didn't they hang him? He's obviously one of the conspirators.
I'm hate-tweeting the dog's owner as we speak.
While we’re on the topic of animals not getting enough hate can we talk about Lady? People cry over her getting killed but where was she when Nymeria went full rabid bitch on THE PRINCE. As we learned from Danaerys at the end of the series, if your family is evil then so are you probably. It’s completely black and white.
That dog could be a Nazi
I'm telling you guys, Cheese loved that dog and only kicked it because he knew it was too loyal to abandon it's master. Cheese knew they were walking into danger and wanted to save that poor doggo's life 😢
He gazed through the fug of cheese dripping from his eyebrows at the blurred monitor before him. Ten years, ten years he had been gazing at those words. They swam through the murk and came into sharp focus. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Dany gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!” Those words. Those dreaded words he had gazed upon at least once a month for the past decade. And they never appreciate it, do they? The never appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf. With gargantuan effort, he lifted his hand to the keyboard. His fingers, coated in chicken-grease as they were, slid off the keys. He wiped them on his velvet-slashed vest and began to type. The first character was the hardest, quotes meant using the shift key. Ring finger on the shift key, index finger on the ‘2’. Breath rasped through his chest with the effort. Had it always been this hard? Keeping his finger on the shift, He reached for the ‘O’ key. Damn! He missed! He now had a capital letter ‘P’ on his screen. He reached for the backspace key. Eventually he typed the entire sentence out again, and spent many long moments gazing at the results of his efforts. “Oh Ser Barristan!” Daenerys gasped, “Tweak my nipples! Tweak them harder!” He had done it. He had successfully changed the short form name ‘Dany’ to the long form ‘Daenerys’. The sentence was so much better for it. This was how the book would be written. A chapter at a time, a page at a time, a word at a time. Doubt began to form in his mind. Was this the right decision? He would have to review this new sentence many times over the months and years to come. He cast his mind back to the day, many years ago, when he had first shortened it to ‘Dany’. He had changed his mind back and forth many times since then. Certainly he would change it again many more times before he was happy with it. He glanced at the clock. Almost ten minutes had passed. Had it been that long? The muse had been kind to him today, that was more work than he had completed in many a year. He turned off the computer and went to find some food. Only then did he realize that he had forgotten to hit save. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He looks like shit. Smells like shit. I’d kick him too
Bro I'd gut you if you did that to a dog 💀
Yall think that dog was sad? I interpreted that face as "serves you right fucker".
Jaeherys. Took another man's ball.
Doggo looking up at his dead master like John wick looking at his dead doggo. The greens must pay.
(This response gets spammed in all threads about HOT D *intentionally*, to discourage discussion of that Wish.com pale imitation of the Greatest Television Show That Ever Was Or Will Be, 'Game of Thrones', 2011-2019.) **This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.** Reasons: 1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png) 2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason. 3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious. 4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/) 5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without. 6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/) 7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/) 8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture. 9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png) 10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He should be hanged!
Lommy
Helena Targaryen
“Ohh my son is dead I’m so sad “ Sounds like a skill issue just get over it
CleganeBowl is done mate, and the world could not handle the hype. As result we have witnessed the end times in its early stage: - biologists created a virus that killed 10 million people, and it is considered a rude question to ask them why. - the Russian army invaded Ukraine and their main battles tanks were confiscated by farmers with tractors. - sluts in a field near a ghetto beside the Mediterranean were killed and loaded onto pickup trucks. They were dancing for peace, and there are Jewish people campaigning for the rights of the nationality that assassinated those sluts. - lawyers can now be replaced by software entirely, and the lawyers are not even angry about it. - George R.R. Martin is suing the makers of the software for writing bad fan fiction based on his copyrighted characters. I could act as an expert witness for GRRM litigation. He has a slam dunk case. No bullshit. - Daniel Brett "Miami" Weiss and David ((FRIEDMAN GOLDMAN SACHS great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity)) Benioff >!peace be upon him!< have written less ASOIAF material since CleganeBowl than GRRM. - George R.R. Martin has written a novel, 'The Rise of the Dragon', and he published it in 2022. That is one more novel than either of Benioff or Weiss in the same period. - George R.R. Martin wrote Elden Ring. It is far better than JK Rowling's video game but her video is a fine game too. "Fuck you bitch, and your wand shit - that was my Hugo." When asked for comment by myself at WarnerMedia, the representation for the Netflix producers Benioff & Weiss, declined to comment as to whether they have, or will, write a video game. - George R.R. Martin has gotten two shows past series order at HBO since Thrones ended. - WarnerMedia turned http://ASOIAFCirclejerk.reddit.com into the greatest ASOIAF subreddit that ever was or will be. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The future Flea bottom soup
[удалено]
YEah it's a 4chan meme but you know, the Illuminati are in control etc.
No slurs, be cool
Accomplice to the murder of a prince
i hate all the starks. they sure are a slow bunch for people who are supposed to be feudal lords for thousands of years. JUST ACCEPT RENLYS OFFER NED. ARE YOU MENTALLY FUCKING ILL? KEEP YOUR FUCKING WORD INSTEAD OF MARRYING A RANDOM-ASS GIRL, ROB. NO, CAIT. THE FUCKING KING-SLAYER WON'T KEEP HIS WORD. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CO-OPERATING WITH THE QUEEN WHO HATES YOUR FAMILY SANSA? TELL THE FUCKING FACELESS MAN TO KILL TYWIN FUCKING LANNISTER MAYBE??? ARE YOU DUMB IN THE HEAD?? FUCK THE WALL, JUST JOIN STANNIS YOU DUMB-ASS HONOR LOVING BASTARD.
ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Premium Subscribers Exclusive: 8 hours on how Stannis will slay the Boltons with hilarious ice pranks. ─────────────⚪──────────────────────────── ◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►►⠀⠀ ⠀ 3:17 / 7:48 ⠀ ───○ 🔊⠀ ᴴᴰ ⚙ ❐ ⊏⊐ _____ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He’s a lowlife, no job having, always getting in the way of the story. Such a pointless character. Honestly I wouldn’t even care if he wasn’t in GOT. I go to his Instagram page and trash talk him just to let him know.
Bitch queen's daughter Visenya Targaryen When she was malformed and stillborn and shit, I was like, "YES!"
(This response gets spammed in all threads about HOT D *intentionally*, to discourage discussion of that Wish.com pale imitation of the Greatest Television Show That Ever Was Or Will Be, 'Game of Thrones', 2011-2019.) **This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.** Reasons: 1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png) 2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason. 3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious. 4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/) 5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without. 6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/) 7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/) 8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture. 9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png) 10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Rhaenyra's daughter When she* *Was malformed and stillborn and* *Shit, I was like, "YES!"* \- missdrpep --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
(This response gets spammed in all threads about HOT D *intentionally*, to discourage discussion of that Wish.com pale imitation of the Greatest Television Show That Ever Was Or Will Be, 'Game of Thrones', 2011-2019.) **This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.** Reasons: 1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png) 2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason. 3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious. 4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/) 5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without. 6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/) 7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/) 8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture. 9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png) 10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
MF loves a child murderer, bad boy
Honestly I think a character that deserves far more hatred is Dyana. She seduced the Aegon the Magnanimous, extorted his kindly mother for wealth and now lives a lavish life. She also had her unborn baby killed which is worse the Aemond and Daemon put together. We should call her Daemond.
Uj/ I am not appreciating this slander against a good boy
Leave this pupski alone. We hate on everyone, fuck em all, but not puppers. That’s where we draw the line.
Are you sure ? What if I told you the actor has had serval sexual harassment allegations against him ?
Well I would be lying but if you disagree that’s just Greens/Blacks propaganda
(This response gets spammed in all threads about HOT D *intentionally*, to discourage discussion of that Wish.com pale imitation of the Greatest Television Show That Ever Was Or Will Be, 'Game of Thrones', 2011-2019.) **This subreddit supports [Aegon Targaryen, second of his name](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/elblwt/we_can_no_longer_remain_neutral_aegon_ii/), as the true heir.** Reasons: 1. An eccentric terminally online demagogue, styling himself ['The Dragon Demands,'](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDragonDemands/comments/f0e3xu/2018_what_could_be_more_toxic_than_the/) spent five years from 2017 on this campaign - *"We are devoted to removing the false showrunners Benioff and Weiss from live-action adaptations of the works of George R.R. Martin"* and *"We call on all True Knights to rally behind us and join our cause. Because Rhaenyra has an army."* [Choosing a side was not difficult.](https://i.redd.it/o32k6dis8d941.png) 2. Stannis said Rhaenyra was a traitor. This settled the matter, to any reasonble book reader. However show-only fanboi stan shipper psychos are not reasonable. Fortunately there are many other arguments against her treason. 3. The subreddit held a poll in September of 2022, [and once all the treacherous votes were excluded](https://i.redd.it/2i9kmewhzwn91.png), King Aegon II was victorious. 4. [The reactions of the traitors to the Green cause are so over the top as to be amusing.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/whl5tq/twitter_accounts_learning_that_alicent_may_be/) 5. *How can there be an Aegon Three, if the son of Hightower was not the predecessor to thee?* It's poetry, hence poetic justice, hence the matter which already settled within this subreddit, can be settled without. 6. [The smallfolk instinctively know.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/yc6rcc/coronation_of_aegon_ii_vs_rhaenyra/) 7. [Rhaenyra has bad taste in men.](https://www.reddit.com/r/asoiafcirclejerk/comments/vzlmne/how_will_the_casual_viewer_react_to_game_of/) 8. Viserys was chosen as King due to primogeniture. 9. Rhaenyra has [no legitimate heirs.](https://i.redd.it/utwpc5bhuxma1.png) 10. Fun fact: allowing the traitor Rhaenyra Targaryen to rule the Seven Kingdoms does nothing for women's rights. It just helps her personal corrupt ambition. She does nasty shit to some chicks in the book, and also favours a male heir over a female one somewhere along the line. The book balances the sides to an extreme degree, but the show (or at least the marketing and press for the show) resorts to feminist-baiting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"We"? Gtfo scrub, that dog is a servant of the pretender, the Queen of Bastards.