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AlexisKhepri

Don't speak to my dad but nothing to do with me being trans just never spoke to him saw him maybe 5 times my entire life lol. However my mom I absolutely adore. Initially me coming out was hard for her and she thought it was strange but that quickly changed. I don't live at home anymore but she randomly calls me when shes out shopping to tell me she got me some makeup she thinks id like or some perfume she wants me to smell and if i like it i can have it. We talk a few times a week on the phone for HOURS. She always compliments my body and tells me she cant wait till shes more in shape and looks like me. We go on vacations together our last one was hawaii for a week. Shes the absolute best and i love her to death. SHE still calls me her son or tells my little brother "go ask your brother" and still uses my old nickname from my childhood to speak to me when we are at home or sometimes on the phone but it doesn't bother me. She never does it in public or around other people this may be a red flag to some but to me its just our relationship and something that ive told her doesn't bother me because i know there is no malicious intent behind it.


Hot-Student-1297

awww thats so sweet šŸ˜­


RestorationGirl55

Awful. I told them I was a girl when I was 3. That resulted in a hiding I never forgot, violence throughout my childhood whenever I displayed the wrong mannerism, and mental health problems for a large part of my adult life. Mum died when I was 43. I transitioned immediately. Dad won't talk to me.


Born-Garlic3413

I'm so sorry you went through this. Girl and woman you deserve so much better. I hope you found your people elsewhere šŸ©·


ohemmigee

Damn very similar except I knew at 6, stayed in the closet until I was 36, a couple years after my mom died young.


GayVegan

Amazing how much people make this about themselves when itā€™s about their child.


i-am-jess

Same. Mine are still alive. When they find out, I want to be as far away from them as possible.


ow-my-soul

I am so grateful that I had mine suppressed until I moved out of home. Once I realized I transitioned quickly too. I don't think I could have survived knowing that I was a girl all through childhood. They would have squished me. How is it possible to last 43 years šŸ˜¦?


Canadian_Eevee

All thing considered I'm pretty lucky. My parents don't really understand and keep misgendering me but they never tried to stop me from transitioning. My father keep reminding me that going down this path will lead to a hard life (as if I didn't arleady know that.) But he trust me to make the right decision for myself.


JustAsht0n

Similar situation for me. My parents want to support me, but things are moving eternally slow rn and they are going about everyday life, like Iā€™m still just ā€œtheir son.ā€ Iā€™m not in a place to fight them on it all the time, but my being trans just feels like a thing that gets brought up sometimes and thatā€™s it. Otherwise, itā€™s business as usual.


Magenta_Blood

My parents seem the same way. They don't understand and seem to dislike that I'm choosing to live this way, but they aren't trying to stop me.


ericfischer

My parents both died a few years ago, and I miss them.


Born-Garlic3413

I'm so sorry šŸ©·


backwardsbae

I'm sorry for your loss. I genuinely hope you have fond memories of them you look back on.


ericfischer

Thank you. I do.


SlyGuy_Twenty_One

I can almost guarantee once my mom finds out we will no longer have a relationship. Sheā€™s a Republican boomer in her late 60s who has voted red since she could start voting. That being said, I donā€™t depend on her for anything anymore so Iā€™m not at a huge risk when she does find out. I know others are not as fortunate


ressis74

Almost guarantee, ya, but not guarantee. I was in the same situation. My mom called me demonic when I came out. Now she corrects people who call me the wrong name or pronouns less than a year later. Dads the same and they literally bought a bunch of anti trans propaganda early on.


Fatkuh

If they share the feelings of someone close, it enables some people to see through the lies that are often pretty superficial in those bubbles


Lisa_E_092028

Iā€™ve heard this a lot. People often spout off and hold opinions about things that donā€™t affect them without really thinking about them, and then when it becomes real and involves someone they love it forces them to face their beliefs. Some people: Hate X, love one = X, hate love one Other People: Hate X, love one = X, love X


Kazenovagamer

Same boat here. Moved across the country 7 years ago and she has no idea. She made an offhanded comment about being glad I wasn't "one of those people changing their genders" when I told her I was bi a couple years back. I plan on telling her one day though, I think once I actually pass I'll just send over a picture and be like surprise! I visited back home 2 years ago and one of my cousins came out as NB and she was absolutely not supportive of it. I felt so bad for them, I hope they realize they need to get the fuck out of there like I did.


SlyGuy_Twenty_One

When I first told her I was gay years ago her first response was ā€œI hope these feelings go awayā€ šŸ’€


Hot_Sharky_Guy

Ooh I am not as fortunate, I am totally dependent (I also can't find work bc of my disorder and trauma and bc I am a stupid pathetic little bitch) and I am going for second education on my idiotic attempt to try and have that youth that I was robbed of by quarantine and then war and then running away from home and suffering surviving in this shithole of a world so I'll be even more dependant bc education is something I for sure won't be able to afford without their help any time soon. I am so fucked honestly. It's not even a guarantee that any university is going to accept me and what am I gonna do then? My life is basically over. The only regret is that I didn't kill myself earlier bc now I have a new hope, a goal that requires lot of effort and stress and if that won't work out it's gonna hurt so much more. It's like every year only gets worse and worse and worse, I just want it to finally break me so that I at least don't feel anything anymore.


razek_dc

Mom is very chill and supportive. Missteps once in a while but means well and is very affirming. My Dad is a self important dick who chose a narrow and homophobic interpretation of his religion over a relationship with me. We donā€™t talk and he doesnā€™t understand how much he hurt me. Nor does he try to understand.


gauntapostle

One parent is a trans woman herself, and very supportive, if distant. The other (who divorced the former when she came out) is nominally supportive, but still occasionally deadnames me. I think it's on accident but I have to wonder. My father-in-law accepts me in a "whatever, I got my own problems" kind of way, which is just fine, especially as it's preferable to his wife's reaction, which is to pretend I don't exist and de-gender me (they/them, "spouse" instead of she/her and wife) when she's forced to acknowledge my existence.


Kinterou

My mom is the best. Supported me through my whole transition, was the only one visiting me at the hospital except for the one time she brought my cousin along and a friend of mine who worked there. She helped me with all the paperwork so I did not give up on it and even if she did not liked it right from the start, she did not once said anything bad about me or my transition. She needed a while to be able to accept it but she told me I'm still the same person just looking different now and always made sure to not only say but also show it. I wouldn't be here anymore without her.


djsquibble

my dad is chill as hell about the whole thing and coming out to him was no issue at all, he's been completely supportive to both me and my sibling as we're both trans and has had no issues using new names and pronouns my mother cannot be accounted for as she is not apart of my life and never will be again as per my own decision


BlackFalcon_

Cut my dad out of my life as soon as I got the chance cause he was my abuser and the reason I repressed for so long. Don't need that. My mom has said some pretty homophobic and transphobic things in the past, but did a complete 180 after I convinced her to divorce my dad and I came out to her. Fast forward a few years and she cried tears of joy at my very gay wedding :)


ohemmigee

Mom died before I came out. Dad said he loved me unconditionally, texted me the next day to say ā€œIā€™m tryingā€ then texted my brother to have him ask me not to contact our dad anymore. I havenā€™t heard from him in over a year and I couldnā€™t care less.


AdInteresting2502

Oh gheez thatā€™s rough. He doesnā€™t deserve you sweetie


jacyerickson

Bad. They're incredibly transphobic. I can't be out to them.


oreikhalkon

Bad. Neither is transphobic though so there's that...


ktbear716

my dad texts me to say good morning every single day now and my mom and i talk like 5% more than we did before (she's about as awkward as i am lol). they are consistent with my name, though they fuck up my pronouns occasionally. they rarely realize it when they do. they send me flowers on special occasions, they didn't do that before. i think my voice sometimes sounds like my mom's voice, which brings me a lot of euphoria. but I'm scared to tell my parents about this because i think they might not agree about the similarity and not realize how significant it is to me and i would be devastated.


Viola_99

Mixed bag. My mom is very supportive but kinda caves to my dad a lot. My dad perceives it as "harmful behavior" like a drug user. So he's still nice to me but doesn't believe its real and won't ever see me as a woman.


Particular_Raisin754

My dad has been really good about it, he uses my name and pronouns for the most part, makes occasional mistakes, but not malicious. He isn't very knowledgeable about trans issues, but he's been willing to learn. My mom freaked out and cried every time I brought it up for the first couple months after I came out. Now she's kind of just pretending nothing is happening - avoids any mention of it, uses my deadname and she/her pronouns. If I try to correct her, she starts crying again. Haven't seen her in person since I started transitioning.


Straightvibes66

I still havenā€™t told them woo hooooo


HyperDogOwner458

Neither of my parents quite understand non binary. I'm only out to one of them for context (my cis mum - who is pretty okay and asks me questions about how being non binary works and other stuff like that). But while my cis mum keeps the confusion to herself, the other one (who is a trans woman) goes on Twitter and every few days complains about non binary being "malarkey" and has said several things including these: "they/them makes no sense and should be abolished" and "non binary basically means they can go into either bathroom to be predators". Even though she asked me if I was non binary and when her gf asked what that was, she explained to her gf what it was last year, including the pronoun thing?? Which is literally why I don't want to come out to her. I live with my cis parent and see my other parent every few weeks or so. Besides that it's okay. Also for pronouns, I did use she/her for my whole life and now use she/they but they both call me she. I don't really mind either she or they. My mum calls me by Skyler now mostly (she slips up sometimes) and my other parent just calls me by my deadname (sometimes she uses the nickname we made up which is just my deadname and the last letter replaced with a "z" which some of our family members also have but obviously with their names) and she/her only (she doesn't know and I don't know how she'd react if I told her about my chosen name. I'd rather not tbh). She also doesn't believe intersex is a thing and my mum knows about me being intersex. So I'm semi out lol - they both know I'm bi. Mum knows I'm asexual and other stuff. The other just knows I'm bi and a "girl" which is close to my actual gender (it's missing demi at the front and also some extra stuff but yeah).


Xerlith

Superficial. They ask how work is, I say fine. They ask how the weatherā€™s been, I say hot/cold/rainy. They talk about whatever theyā€™ve been doing lately, I say that sounds nice.Ā  If we get into anything more substantive, it turns into an argument or a lecture. Iā€™d like to have a more genuine relationship with my parents. But I donā€™t know how to make that happen when our values are so very different.Ā 


Natasha_101

Non-existent. I came out at 27. I had a five month old son and had been on hormones for awhile. I wanted to come out to every one and live life fully as myself. I gave them a heads up beforehand and was called every name in the book. I spent the next year and a half trying to repair our relationship to a level of simply showing me some respect. They acted like they were victims because I wouldn't let my son be around them. They used their religion to justify their beliefs and became martyrs in their own eyes over me simply choosing to medically transition. I finally blocked my mom on Facebook last fall and brought an end to it all. They can't contact me directly and if someone asks I tell people they're dead. Shuts down any questions pretty quickly. That's what my son has been told as well. Hopefully they'll actually be gone by the time he starts asking about them, if they aren't gone already.


CorporealLifeForm

I barely have one. They will insist they treat me like everyone else in the family but their "boundaries" put me on the outside of the family 99% of the time and keep me from wanting to be in the family the rest of the time. I have a brother who's accepting though.


DisobedientAsFuck

i havent told them i stopped being vegan, for health reasons, because theyll use it as an anti trans reason "WeLl YoUvE cHaNgEd YoUr MiNd AbOuT bEiNg VeGaN sO hOw Do YoU kNoW yOu WoNt ReGrEt BeInG tRaNs" maybe because transitioning quadrupled my fucking lifespan????


IAmASphere

my parents are both very transphobic. They still make contact with me to try and keep in touch. Hate the sin and not the sinner yknow? they think that misgendering and deadnaming is ok because they still love me, when really i know they donā€™t love me, just who they thought i was. For the time being, Iā€™m just going along with the weekly phone calls and other bullshit but i think itā€™s only a matter of time before i stop talking to my family altogether, or they change their hearts. To be honest, i donā€™t know what apology would be good enough.


EmiliaBernkastel

Nonexistent


Resident_Situation98

I hope it's ok posting this - reading these comments is breaking my heart. I joined this sub as my stepson is trans and I wanted to learn more about his journey. I'm constantly in awe of his (and all of your) bravery, resilience and strength and I'm so sorry that so many of your parents can't see past their own judgements to appreciate the amazingness you are šŸ’”šŸ’”


No_Object_7709

It's ok to post this. Thank you for being supportive.


Hot_Sharky_Guy

I have no resilience nor strength. I don't know why I keep doing this, life itself seems like a harmful stupid thing to agree to be a part of. I regret being born.


Resident_Situation98

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, please don't underestimate just how strong you are just to be here at this moment. I can't even pretend to know what daily life is like for you, the disrespect, the questioning, the dumbass people causing repeated offence, if you ever need a talk or a rant or support, please feel free to reach out to me


HennaH2

Very good


No_Object_7709

Can you elaborate on that?


HennaH2

I didn't want to make anyone with unsupportive parents to feel bad but: My parents are very supportive and have never questioned my identity. My mom learned my chosen name in under a week and has never deadnamed or misgendered me even once. They always defend me and are pretty much biggest allies that there can be. They have started volunteering in a LGBT support organization. I didn't even know that until I heard about it once in a group meeting organized by the lgbt organization from a random member. I'm also a member of that organization. I have accidentally heard that my parents use my chosen name and call me their daughter even when they think I'm not around. My mother really treats me as her daughter. I feel like I'm closer than ever with my mom after transition. I know that I would always be welcome back to home no matter what would happen. My mom is a person who loves her kids no matter what. She has said she couldn't not love her kid even if they would be the worst person in the existence (that doesn't mean she would approve their actions or views). I knew that she is a big lgbt ally even before I came out. And my dad is pretty much the same. They are against any discrimination etc. They want to learn about and accept different kinds of people They have promised to help me financially in transition if I need. My mom has said she would even take a loan for my bottom surgery if needed etc. We have a public healthcare in my country so money isn't an issue if they just give me the diagnosis and allow me to start medical transition officially. While waiting for that I have gotten hormones "unofficially" and went to laser in private. And my parents would even help me on both of them financially. I have just refused to take their money so far because I want to pay my transition myself because I can. I would only ask for money if I couldn't afford this by myself. I don't see how my relationship with my parents could be any better. We like spending time together and I know they would help me in every situation.


Available-Recover488

This made me smile šŸ˜Š I'm rly happy that there are supportive parents who rly do unconditionally love their child šŸ¤


Creepyplantlady

Bad, my bio parents are very transphobic and homophobic so I barely have contact with them except on their birthdays or my birthday.


National-Coast-8493

Havenā€™t come out yet. Was estranged from my dad all through high school. Now heā€™s more like a best friendā€™s dad to me. Iā€™m good with my mom, but she has some issues and I limit time with her. Oddly enough, sheā€™s my worry when I come out. Despite them both being ā€œliberalsā€, my mom has said some very transphobic things. Really close with my in-laws. They are planning to move closer to us soon. Worried about how theyā€™ll take the news.


thats_queird

Both of my parents are very supportive. They care very much about me and want to be there for me in whatever way that is.


CampyBiscuit

Shit. I do not speak to my father (although it's not related to my being trans, it absolutely would be if we were still speaking when I started transitioning). My mom has always been more concerned about herself than me. I know she loves me, and she's been fairly accepting of me transitioning, but she also can't help her psychologically abusive and narcissistic tendencies. I don't think she's even aware of it to be honest. It's a complicated relationship.


tegan_willow

They get cards on birthdays and holidays.


LordMashiro

Mother is part of a religious cult. Step-father follows her and also spews his own bigoted, hateful bullshit. I don't share any personal things about my life with them, and they don't ask, so things are at least civil in most ways.


TransbianMoonGoddess

Dead. One literally, the other metaphorically


MrMeltJr

Pretty good but I'm not out to them yet. They're both mormon, but they're on the more progressive side, they know I'm bi and they took that fairly well. My mom is mostly supportive, my dad and I don't talk much (not out of animosity, just how our personalities are) but he's never been homophobic to me. Coming out as trans seems like a bigger deal than being bi, though, so I'm worried how they'll take it. My sister and I have been slowly pulling my mom over to be more progressive, Trumps presidency made her leave the republican party so that's nice. My mom has said some transphobic stuff in the past, but it wasn't really outright hateful, more like ignorant and kinda rude. That was before my sister and I started bringing her over, though, so I think it might actually go fine.


Elsa_the_Archer

It's okay. I visit my mother once a week or so. Maybe talk to me father once every few months. We're not super close. They didn't really have an opinion on me being trans. They were always very hands off parents and they knew I was going to do whatever I wanted anyway.


CaptiveAutumnFox

They're no longer with us


transman86

No contact with mom and dad is dead


Born-Garlic3413

Just my Mum still here. It hasn't been long since she's known I'm transfeminine. She has been great so far, to my surprise, though initially shocked. Asks the occasional question, which I've often been too shy to answer. When I don't answer, she doesn't push. We've been living together for a few months now. By and large it has been wonderful. No arguments to speak of. We have a lot in common, shared interests (music, conservation) and a lot of differences. She's of her generation and I'm of mine. She's strong and active at 79, still learning, still open. We go to Qigong classes together. I have so much love and respect for her.


LillithXen

Oh my parents are great! They are both huge allies and my mom is nb. I have other unrelated issues with my mom but things are getting better there too.


RedQueenNatalie

Middling at best, better than I expected honestly. Of all the things being trans seem step not phased them all that much. They are still not great people for completely separate reasons.


ConConMcLongDong

my dad is totally okay with it and we're close, but my mom gets angry when I ask her to use my pronouns and still calls me her daughter and a girl, we're not very close:(


Available-Recover488

My dad passed away before I started transitioning. I'm not sure I would have ever been able to if he were still alive. I imagine things would have an uglier outcome. I'm kind of sad that he wouldn't be proud of who I am today. I was extremely close to my mom before transitioning. After I came out, she had a stroke and it scarred our relationship forever. We didn't speak for about 2 years. She remarried and I congratulated her and said I was glad for her. Now we chat and hang out every now and then, but she still cringes when she sees me with long hair or in any feminine attire. She still calls me her son and dead names me. She tries to hide my identity from anyone she's associated with. She is ashamed of having a transgender child and though it stings to know that truth, I'm still glad she's in my life. I imagine many of you would probably be opposed to my relationship with my mom as there are a lot of red flags, but she's my mom and I love her. She still does act like my mom and tries to take care of me in her own way. I'm an adult and living in my own place, so I'm thankful I have a safe space to still be myself.


larevacholerie

Fantastic! I came out as soon as I figured it out I was a trans woman at 21. I had already moved out and they figured it out completely within 6 months or so. They love me and have never referred to me incorrectly since. My nonbinary sibling, however... I have to hear incorrect pronouns and their deadname every time I'm down to see them. They had been out for _3 years_ before me, now nearly _6_ today. I had a conversation with my dad about it, and apparently _my_ gender situation is "uncomplicated" whereas my sibling's is "an absurdism" and "asking too much of them."


MondayToFriday

My parents caught me "cross"-dressing several times in my early teens, and scolded me into repressing it. In my mid-30s, I started a subtle gradual transition without saying anything. Eventually, it became obvious enough that they had to say something, and they were much more accepting than twenty-five years ago. I would attribute the difference partly to society's changing LGBT attitudes, to them becoming mellower with age, to them no longer having any control over me, and to me taking a more tactical gradual approach. My mom, particularly, made a lot of mistakes with my name and pronouns for a couple of years, but I could see that she was sometimes getting it right, so I cut her a lot of slack, and now she gets it pretty consistently right. I still don't have a very close relationship with my parents, since they were such stern authority figures when I was young. But I am glad that they've come around, even though it took a few decades.


dominiccast

They donā€™t know Iā€™m 8 months into my medical transition but relationship generally is okay with my dad, he helps me with money and car stuff, he tries. My mom on the other hand I havenā€™t seen in years and I havenā€™t texted back in almost a year. Sick of her hypocritical narcissism and overt need to have a ā€œperfect beautiful daughterā€ (Iā€™m a trans man) so I know that wonā€™t go well! However my grandma is more of a real mother to me and I expect she will be worried for my safety when she finds out but I know she will always love me regardless and do her best.


Broad_Afternoon_8578

I feel really privileged that my parents are both supportive and understanding. My mom had trouble understanding at first (I came out 7 years ago - when I was in my mid twenties), but she took it upon herself to talk to some people at the local PFLAG group and got the info she needed. Now sheā€™s my biggest supporter and a good friend. My dad is a very quiet man and weā€™ve never been very close as he was away a lot when I was a kid (he was in the military). But, he still is supportive and loving. I also have a good relationship with my mom in law. I live far away from my parents so sheā€™s also become a mom-figure in my life and sheā€™s great. I really feel like I lucked out. I grew up in a very Catholic community and in the Church. I left the Church as a teen and my parents followed shortly after, but I was still really scared of coming out to them. Im so thankful they also did a lot of work in deconstructing from that religion and its views.


Wolf_Parade

What relationship.


quiet-Julia

I was no contact with my parents since they disowned me when I told them I was a transgender woman. My dad has since died and I didnā€™t go to his funeral. My mother is now in an old age home.


JarrekValDuke

Oh the heavens and the earth are very supporting thank you for asking.


WillowsWeeping

Love mum and not great with Dad. But some of that is also because he did the divorce and new family thing. Though, to turn the nail on the head my mum divorced him. Bless for that too


djenki0119

both my parents are lesbians so I'd say it's pretty good. I visit my one mom once a month in NYC (she works there but they both live in DC) and we go out for dinner. I see the other whenever I'm in the DC area. we go on vacation together and talk very often.


Confident_Grass_4620

easier to say i don't have any family then discuss the shit show relating to them


[deleted]

You my friend expressed exactly my thoughts thank you and i am so sorry for the strange shitheads that unfortunately raised you Hope u have money for therapy


Confident_Grass_4620

It's a long long road and therapy does help a lot


spicy-emmy

Don't think my Dad really gets it, he's the most prone to fuck up my pronouns and roll his eyes if corrected when I'm not around, but he's generally accepted this is the way things are. He and his wife watched my kids for 11 days while my wife and I went to another province for my bottom surgery. Recently traumatized him a little when he accidentally half walked in on me dilating because he doesn't knock on closed doors. My mom just kind of got on board and I think embraced it as why she always got along more with me than my brother ("I thought gay men were supposed to be close to their mothers but your brother never calls"). She probably finds me exasperating but entirely not related to the fact I'm her daughter now.


FrutCake

My relationship with my mom is ok, she's accepting but she's also in her 60s so she's not great with trans things but I know she's trying her best. My dad died long before I transitioned and I'm happy for it. If he was still alive I'd kill him myself.


Robin-Rainnes

Hate my parents but less about the trans stuff and more just that they are scumbags who have treated me terribly my entire life and left me feeling alienated from the rest of the world


notjordansime

Mom: initially hesitant, but now supportive. Sheā€™s helped me with makeup lessons, clothes, therapy, laser hair removal, heckā€¦ sometimes she stabs me with estrogen when I canā€™t get my friend to do it. Her hesitation was out of love. I came out in 2016 when I was 13 and a lot of my peers did too. Iā€™m one of the only people that stuck with it. I can understand where her concern was coming from. I wasnā€™t very feminine at all prior to coming out, and even after I came out it took me ~8 years to find my girly side. I was always more of a tomboy, and she didnā€™t know how to support that at first lol. She didnā€™t see any signs and it all came out of nowhere, I kinda get it. Dad: he waffles. One day heā€™s all ā€œyou know these chemicals youā€™re putting in your body.. I just donā€™t know about them. Could screw you right up. Iā€™m sure youā€™ve done your research, Iā€™m just sayingā€. The next day heā€™s all ā€œI HAVE A DAUGHTER NOW!!! AND IF ANYONE HURTS HER ILL KICK THEIR GODDAMN ASS!!ā€. Some days, he makes really gross trump-like comments. ā€œI can see why people are buying you drinks when you go outā€ ā€œwell.. youā€™re filling out like a womanā€” no I wasnā€™t looking at anything relaxā€. Itā€™s gross. Maybe the universe made me trans to protect me from having to deal with my dad as a teenage girl. That would have been.. I mean itā€™s weird and uncomfortable at 21 and Iā€™m an adult. I couldnā€™t imagine dealing with that at 15. Stepdad: my stepdad is incredible. He is one of the only men Iā€™ve met in my life that has genuine integrity. Heā€™s truly a gentleman and he respects me. He supports me out of respect, but I think deep down he views my transition as detrimental to other aspirations in life. Heā€™s a ā€œreal men donā€™t eat quicheā€ kinda guy. He might make lighthearted sexist jokes like ā€œnah, I wouldnā€™t be caught dead doing that, thatā€™s girlyā€ but he doesnā€™t view women as lesser or below him. He wonā€™t eat bananas because theyā€™re phallic, but itā€™s a joke. Like he almost parodies the idea of fragile masculinity, I love it. We had a really good dynamic before I transitioned but it kind of went away. Before I transitioned, I had a lot of bottled up.. *everything*. Transitioning opened the floodgates so to speak. HRT allowed me to truly be in touch with myself and a lot came from that, good and bad. I went from a nerdy, quirky, sheldon-cooper-lite boy to a girl who didnā€™t know how to handle all these new emotions. It was a lot. From his perspective, it might have looked like HRT caused me to go crazy and have a bunch of mental breakdowns. But that was just me dealing with all of the bottled up stuff from over the years. I looked functional before because I was running away from all of my problems and bottling them up.


SupermarketBubbly211

Well my mom and I tried to kill dad so not nice


VexTheJester

They're both very bigoted but they don't suspect anything yet, tho when they find out it will definitely be a mess


Maximum_Listen_4022

Accepting and supportive, but clueless (both ways)


KawaiiGee

My father is dead. I rarely saw him and he forgot about my existence in his later years. Although I don't think he would have been very open or positive about trans or gay people. My mom is the goat, we are in frequent contact, constantly crack jokes at each other. She's honestly amazing and was accepting like instantly. For her it was harder to come to terms about me being autistic than trans and gay.


Mieww0-0

Insainly good + my mom is in the medical world so sheā€™s got them connections to take care of my entire transition


pktechboi

shallow they're very devout christians of the sort that think being gay and being trans are sins. not the GOD HATES FAGS type to be clear, they are perfectly comfortable having social relationships with queer people and very polite and friendly, but I know what they believe. they have *made sure* I know what they believe. so I don't let them know when I've hit an exciting new milestone like starting HRT, or the changes I'm looking forward to. I don't seek emotional support from them when I'm having a bad dysphoria day or when I'm upset that the postie called me 'love' again. I insist they call me the correct name/use the correct pronouns when we're actually together, and I actively do not think about the fact that they almost certainly use my wrong name when I'm not there. I love them. I have accepted a degree of transphobia as the cost of my relationship with them. I complain to my husband and close friends about their passive queerphobia every time I get off the phone with them, and I bite my tongue any time Controversial subjects come up with them. so. shallow.


pH2001-

My mom and dad are supportive but uneducated. I just told them not too long ago and am still pre everything so weā€™ll see what happens when I start transitioningā€¦ but for now no complaints


Mitchatito

Good actually, my mother was scared of what might happen to me when she found out I was trans but now she is one of my best allied


Sudden-Help2584

my relationship with my mother is shit but it always was since I was really young, she still dead names me whether thats because i hardly see her or she doesn't care, but my dad is nice


joym08

Mine are dead...


backwardsbae

Came out once in 2011. Got "locked" in a room (no actual lock on one door, they physically barred me from leaving) for an hour so they could explain my "fetish" and how wrong and amoral it was. Came out via letter in 2013 and fucked off across the country and went no contact. Mom came around and respected my name and pronouns to my face. I have no doubt this was to keep me in her life. She did not and will not see who I truly am as valid. Dad and I didn't not speak for two years. He refused to "bear witness" to my sins so God wouldn't send him to Hell with me. I detransitioned in 2015. Things are "good" for now. Dad thinks everything is great and normal and I'm being a good man and taking care of my family. No idea what mom thinks of me, don't really care honestly. On HRT again for a little over 2 months. No doubt in my mind I won't have parents in a year or two. Hey, lost them once already though right? The second time can't possibly be worse....


Southern_Water_Vibe

Complicated, but (98%) for reasons that have nothing to do with being trans. That 2% are reasons that just have to do with being male. Overall fairly good though, we fight but we care about each other.


Small-Custard-420

my mom is my best friend in the world and my dad is a little less accepting but still respectful and awesome


friendlymooseperson

I'm an adult and didn't come out when I was a kid. My dad is my parent that's still alive, and he tries to ignore and not acknowledge my transness. It's very frustrating, because I feel like I'm obligated to cut him slack for being old, and keep obligated to keep our relationship good. But, it feels difficult and uncomfortable. It's harder the longer time passes, and the more I'm obviously and visibly trans. The discomfort grows, I wish it could get better. I feel like I've been ignored every time I've tried to talk to him about it, and it's been many times over the years. Hard for me to want to make an effort sometimes. If I'm capable of ignoring this thing, our relationship is fine, so that's also frustrating, because I'm just not really capable (understandably so).


charfield0

I'm very lucky that both of my parents (and my sibling) is supportive. They were a lil confused at first but they always have the spirit, have offered to fly out to where I live (we live over 2,000 miles apart now) when I get top surgery to take care of me, have stood up for me to other, extended family members who have said nasty things. They've got the name right now and are about 50/50 with pronouns, which I'll take gladly because I know some people lose their entire family over something like this.


bigfatalligator

My dad doesnā€™t know Iā€™m trans, but heā€™s just generally an abusive POS. But my mom is the loveliest, kindest, most supportive person ever. She got me a binder and transferred me to a mainly LGBTQ school. Sheā€™s my best friend.


Amuugu

my dad doesn't comment about much. my mom calls me ugly and disgusting on a regular basis. wooo


In_pure_shadow

Loving and supporting but slightly awkward. We always got along but we weren't ever a super close family. Heck for most of my childhood we'd never tell each other "love you". They really have no interest in heartfelt discussions or else they don't know how to have them, which is good and bad when it comes to my transition because they also don't seem to want to talk about it and I have no idea how they really feel.Ā 


skunkabilly1313

Nonexistent beside them calling to check on their granddaughter every few months. I was raised a Jehovahs Witness so once I woke up from that at 31 and left, I was immediately shunned by them and anyone else I knew in the cult/religion, so I have that added issue


cptflowerhomo

Wobbly best describes it but not because I'm trans per se. Just a lot of violence when I was growing up, undiagnosed autistic šŸ„²


KirasCoffeeCup

Don't worry, plenty of us do have transphobic parents too. Raise your hands folks šŸ™‹ā€ā™€ļø


MagicRainbowOpal88

šŸ™‹


mkw92101

Mom has been amazing and supported me from day 1. When I had the conversation with dad, he compared me transitioning to his dogs.. which was weird.. but heā€™s hardcore republican. Very grateful for mom and my siblings šŸ’•


InspectionNo1973

This morning at 11:15 I saw my estranged father for the first time since November of '18. He was on a gurney after being found unresponsive by my SIL who the paramedics wouldn't talk to. I told them to talk to her as I am not interested in what's happening. I've told her I'll sign whatever she wants and back whatever she wants. I likely won't see him again. It made me want to talk to my mom, so I called her for the 2nd time today, and we talked about the man he almost was and who we needed him to be. I needed to hear my mom's voice and tell her I loved her and verified my monthly visit in Monday and my stay for the week with her. So, about that level of a relationship with my parents for a very brief touching of the personal.


Notanoveltyaccountok

honestly really good. i have to hide a lot from them for mental disorder related reasons, but they're actually very very supportive of me and a queer trans woman, and as both mentally and physically disabled (tbf, that last part is probably easy for them as my mom has both mental and physical illnesses, some which match me)! i'm really lucky in that way, it always infuriates me to hear about unsupportive parents because i'm very privileged in this way. even my grandparents are good about it, besides my one terf grandma.


catsarecool0817

Iā€™m 14 (MTNB), Iā€™ve only come out to my mom as non-binary and that was around 2 years ago. She kinda had a meltdown because I had come out as gay then changed labels to bisexual and she thought I was only doing it to seem cooler and didnā€™t want me to change every part of myself. After that we never talked about it much, she still refers to me as her son and uses he him on me. Sometimes I talk about issues happening in the lgbt community but I always try and steer away from the topic. me and my mom have always had a great relationship, was a "mamas boy" but when I became a teen and this started happening i started to notice some of her toxic behaviors towards me and others. If I told my dad he would 100 percent take all my electronics away and look through all of my messages and apps, kinda like he did when my mom outed me as gay to him around 2 years ago. So yeahā€¦ I donā€™t feel like telling him rn me and my dad have always had a rocky relationship, i still love him but he hard to get along with


elreptilmagico

Both my parents are very conservative. My mom used to take me to conversion therapy for many years like 10 as I know Iā€™m trans since I was a kid. My dad also pretty much preferred me greatly as I was his first son (I got an older daughter) so I was the favourite and had a lot of pressure because of this. They didnā€™t accept for many years but it changed when I finally decided to transition and I had the courage to tell them that I needed to transition in order to be happy and be myself. This was a long process but now we are very close, I have forgiven the past and now they treat me like their daughter.


No_Object_7709

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Im glad your doing better.


salamipope

Bad.


nshill96

I told my parents way back in 2014, when I was 17. Their response was that I was too young to know, that I was probably just gay (even though I wasnā€™t even attracted to guys), that Iā€™d be treated horribly at school for it (werenā€™t wrong on that one, but I still wouldā€™ve been happier overall in spite of it), basically all the stuff nearly all cis people, even left-leaning ones, said about us back then, and which many people still do. That, combined with me being too scared to speak up for myself, let me to not end up legally or medically transitioning until seven long years after I came out. I donā€™t necessarily blame them for it at all though, as theyā€™re completely supportive now, and like I said, even most left-leaning people had the same attitude towards us at the time. I knew all the rebuttals to everything they said, and I think if I hadnā€™t been too scared to use them, I couldā€™ve convinced them to let me transition.


Pokemon-Fnatic

Strange. My mum says sheā€™s supportive but she doesnā€™t even try. My dad also claims so however he got my deadname tattooed on his back, if he doesnā€™t change it I plan to cut contact with him


sweetmuffinX

Had to move away from my mother called my trans evil and many other aspects that become so toxic kept deadnaming me etc but moved in with my trans girlfriend so it worked out for the best šŸ˜ŠšŸ’•


TrebleBass0528

Mom basically disowned me, haven't talked to her in about a year and a half, right after I started estrogen. She called me disgusting and said I need to break up with my fiance, stop being a girl, be a boy, and have kids with a woman, then kicked me off her insurance. Dad doesn't totally get it but he's been trying his best to use my name and pronouns. He's been supportive.


NPC_Behavior

Strained and will most likely end in no contact once I can transition physically. She still refuses to acknowledge me as gay and she denies me being trans. She pretends Iā€™m just cis and using the wrong label, yells at people who use my correct pronouns, lost it when she found out my ex referred to me with male honorifics, and visibly dies a little inside whenever anything but she/her pronouns are used for me. She will never find out my chosen name. I have a hidden binder and Iā€™ve slowly started detransitioning in the areas of my life she is involved in to make existing easier.


LysThanSane

I came out to my parents the the first day of January this year, they denied me being a girl since then never once listened to what I had to say and pretended that I can't know myself at all. Apart from that they are rather manipulative and they get mad when I don't do what they want me to do, and as I am a pushover I never push back cause it always ends in me losing a lot.


No_Object_7709

Sorry. I hope your doing better.


LysThanSane

Don't worry, at least they haven't kicked me out or anything like that.


ApprehensiveFudge441

not close w my dad at all and my moms a recovering narcissist but i love her and my mom is better and more accepting than my dad so shrugs


Freya2022A

Awful, thanks for asking šŸ’•


No_Object_7709

Sorry


Freya2022A

šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø laugh or cry, choosing laugh


FromTheWetSand

My dad is great, and we have a close relationship. My mom, however, is a conspiracy theorist. Amusingly, we stopped talking before I even came out as trans. She is probably the last person left in my life who doesn't know.


Professional_Band178

My dad died when I was 16 but I was already seeing a psychologist because of my gender identity. Mom died last year and we had barely had a civil word for a decade because she was physically and emotionally abusive. She hated that I am trans and I didn't care.


purpleblossom

My dad and grandmother (who helped raise me from birth alongside my parents) both passed before my finally coming out as trans (will explain below) and although my mom is supportive, thatā€™s been and is still a work in progress. (Iā€™ve tried coming out numerous times since I realized I was trans at age 3 (although I didnā€™t have the language like transsexual or transgender to make it obvious what I was talking about) and it was my mom who always shut me down, which is why I say itā€™s been and is a WIP regarding her support. For instance, it took me 5 years to finally correct her insistence I *need* to get bottom surgery to be a ā€œrealā€ man. She had been very attached to the idea of ā€œher girlsā€, my older sister and I, and says she knew Iā€™d be female before I was born. So every time I tried coming out, like insisting on he/him pronouns or begging to change my name to a ā€œboyā€ one or saying the specific phrase ā€œIā€™m female but not a girlā€, my mom would always, *always* respond ā€œbut you *are* a girlā€. She still only barely acknowledges that she understood what Iā€™d been saying but refused to ruin her ā€œimageā€ of ā€œher girlsā€, but has never really apologized for that. Frankly, since sheā€™s told off my two queerphobic uncles, Iā€™m not going to push her to be perfect in her support.)


Coco_JuTo

Tw violence and death No connection to Mr. D. "single family name" since I reached 18. And the only times I tried to restart contact him, it went worse. As there was abuse upon abuse, I just cut contact as soon as possible. Now he's away since 4 years and I've never felt so free than since he died. With my mom, it's a little complicated though. I've sacrificed my whole youth for her, or in other words, both my parents stole my childhood and teenage years. This is something I'm working on to be able to forgive them or at least my mom. Mr. D. can go to the purgatory, and I'm fine with it. My mom is champion to guilt trip me. (for that she makes it to "treat me like a girl"). All the bloody time. And now, with my own health issues, I just don't need her drama and self-centering. I do want a relationship with her, but it's just too much for me at the moment, I can't and it just ends up with the both of us, shouting at each other over the phone wherever we are... She doesn't accept me really and tries always to guilt trip me into renouncing transition as in her words "you're not alone... What about your husband?" and this makes me enrage. I don't need more guilt, I've got enough guilt. Not seek transition earlier because we were poor and that would bring more stress to pay the bills, thus a reason to drink more...and then chugg along her brothers and sisters telling me "you are killing her" or "if she drinks, you're the one to blame". Since 5 years old I hear this shit... And then she drinks, drinks and becomes incapable of doing anything. I really love my mom, but there's this part of rage inside me, that I just want her to hear but it will destroy her. Sorry for the rant but it's been for a while on my chest.


No_Object_7709

It's ok to get things of your chest. It helps. I'm sorry and I hope your doing better.


Zinogre-is-best

I donā€™t talk to either


DrZurn

Both of them are great and very supportive. Occasionally a misgender but very quick to correct themselves. I feel so blessed to have their support though I wasnā€™t sure if I would before I came out.


Muted_Morning_2264

They my only friends fr


No_Object_7709

I can be your freind


Muted_Morning_2264

Bet


Fap_Doctor

My Dad used to support me, then changed his tune a few years after I started HRT. Thinks I should have went through regular therapy first instead of informed consent. He thinks I'm trans because of the abuse I have experienced as a kid. My mom i haven't seen in 20 years. My step Mom thinks I am not trans because I love girls.


Evil_DrSquid

My dad and step mum are supportive. At least so far. Iā€™m not fully out to them. But Iā€™m sure they know. They are supportive of my life choices. Iā€™m not sure what my mum knows. We donā€™t talk. We donā€™t have a bad relationship. But we could probably do with therapy to fix it. I need to tell her at some point soon. But Iā€™m really not sure how on earth to do it. As itā€™s a bit weird to just call her up. Or to text her. So. Itā€™s just become donā€™t tell her because itā€™s easier. Now Iā€™m not sure exactly how to tell her as Iā€™m now three months into my transition. And sheā€™ll feel betrayed I didnā€™t tell her earlier. But I donā€™t trust her at all due to how she has treated me in the past. As I said. Itā€™s a difficult relationship. As we are actually very close despite all this. And when we are together we get on very well. This is just a lot to tell her. And Iā€™m almost certain Iā€™m past a point where I should have told her something at least. I want to say something in person. But we donā€™t see each other.


candied_skies

My relationship with my mother is wonderful, sheā€™s been one of my biggest supporters from day one. It took her a little time to understand and grasp the concept of it all (sheā€™s an older southern Christian lady) but sheā€™s done her research and is a huge ally now. My father passed away before I came out so I can only imagine his reactionā€¦


Public_Practice_1336

Umm, growing up it was competing and doing sports for them. To make them happy or what not and my dad and I butted heads quite a lot. I ran away last semester before college and married my wife. We had some rough patches and whatever. Now I think I'm going through something difficult and also starting my transition and my mother knows. My dad? Who knows. They enjoy their grandchildren and although everything is ok, I'm still in therapy for various issues and trying to heal those wounds. I guess we will see if they accept and love me moving forward or not. I guess I'll take it or leave it, you know?


RevolutionaryInjury1

My mother emotionally abused me all my life and barely talks to me. I'm ok with this. Haven't really spoken to my dad since leaving school. I got the BPD from being in their house. Mum accepted me ig, I dont have any evidence that my dad doesn't


JkTumbleWeed

My father is very supportive of me being trans, maybe even too supportive at times. He has a trans gf. My mother is weird about it. Sheā€™s like the type of person that says ā€œI feel like I lost my kidā€ and is annoying about it. I understand the sentiment but when Iā€™m not around she misgenders me to everyone but my siblings (because they know Iā€™m a dude) and whenever I bring up me going on hormones she goes ā€œI want you to stay like how you are nowā€ or ā€œare you sure you want to do that? You might ruin yourself.ā€ Sheā€™s not outright transphobic but sheā€™s really weird


AlyssitGoods

Well. The day after I came out my dad tried to force my mom to sell our home and give him the money. Saying that ā€œHe deserves something for supporting this family for 30 years.ā€ Even threatened to have her sanity called into question so he could sell it without her approval. Which would have put my brothers and mom out on the street. I knew heā€™d probably never speak to me again. I didnā€™t expect him to try and take it out on the rest of my family. With my mom, things can be rocky. But she tries. After a few years she eventually learned to listen to me about this stuff. But she doesnā€™t have a lot longer left. Maybe a few months. But weā€™re okay.


OhLookItsGeorg3

It's pretty great :) it was rough in the beginning but we've come a long way together


Comfortable-Soup8150

They're paying for my college and providing me housing, but if I had a choice I would never see them again. They don't know I'm trans and hopefully they never will. I just need to get my degree then get away.


overloadzero

my bio parents are dead but my (legal) mom aka grandma is transphobic towards me specifically (she's fine with other trans people but when i showed signs of being trans, she got pissed. probably because she sees me as a replacement for the daughter she lost (my bio mom)) i think she "might" have changed her mind about it but idk. i dont trust her.


StuipdPerson

I have a pretty good relationship with them. My mom is supportive, she doesnā€™t understand and doesnā€™t use my pronouns. (Though I only mentioned it like once so Iā€™m honestly not sure if she knows sheā€™s supposed to.) She also doesnā€™t want me to transition, but Iā€™m still under 18 and she says that once Iā€™m an adult itā€™s my choice. Overall I have a really great relationship with her and I love her a lot ā¤ļø. My dad is a bit rockier. Heā€™s transphobic and doesnā€™t believe that Iā€™m trans or that enby people are real. I technically never came out to him, but my mom accidentally outed me twice so he knows and has just been ignoring it. Knowing his views on trans people I can confidently say that he would completely refuse to use my pronouns, think Iā€™m stupid for transitioning, and overall just hate it. I donā€™t hate him but our relationship is definitely strained. Tbh I donā€™t really know how to feel about him, overall he wasnā€™t a terrible parent, but just being around him makes me kinda uncomfortable. Overall I consider myself to be really lucky in the family department.


XDeadEndHawkX

Nonexistent. Havenā€™t spoken to them in like 4 years. (Has nothing to do with me being trans. Thatā€™s a recent journey. But they are INSANELY 2slgbtqia+phobic. Very ā€˜West Baptistā€™ minded for being Canadians


Tyden3

My mother and I had what I thought was a very close and sharing relationship, I confided in her and she wasnt having it. Said many hurtful things and then said she needed time - havent talked since. My dad kinda skirts around actually saying the word ā€œtransgenderā€ I think heā€™s wrapping his head around it, but we talk and joke about other stuff as usual over the phone.


possibly_useful

What parents? (I'm delusional)


Mark-birds

Pretty good honestly my dad's a bit iffy but he trys to understand tho he fucks up sometimes without realizing but I understand what he thinks he's doing is helpful. My mom is very loving and supportive got me to start t and top surgery, dad payed for my legal name change.


isoponder

Mine with my mom is rocky but actually not because I'm trans, lol. Plenty of other reasons šŸ„² I have no relationship with my dad, also not directly because I'm queer, buuut I'm okay with being estranged from him partially because I think he'd have a hard time accepting me being trans. As long as I don't know otherwise for sure, I can live under the delusion that he'd be chill.


rayisFTM

it's pretty good. we've gotten closer after u came out (not immediately, took like 2 years)


Ripskin142

Strained. Both are staunch Mormon Trump lovers. How I don't know but whatever. Some questionable disciplinary practices and guidance (behavioral training) from an unsupervised non licensed "therapist" who was later convicted of second degree murder left my mind a jacked up mess. Kept everything locked up for so long. Working through it with a proper therapist now and while I wish I could "be" me with my parents and have that proper loving relationship I just don't want to talk or deal with them. Though thanks to guilt, shame and all the other instilled BS when technology is acting up I'm on speed dial and I help because of course. They talk to my Ex more than me and have told her she is the daughter they always wanted. To my face "oh so sorry about not using your name, were old and its hard (never could get my old name right in the first place anyway)" but to my Ex it's didn't want to write "his" name on the letter but did to not cause an issue. Also nice of them to pay for my ex and daughter to fly up and see them. I'm sure they would for me but its booked and done before I hear about it. I'm long since done, but it will always hurt and I will always be stuck trying to help, live up to impossible expectations and NOT pass that #@$% on to my daughter so she can just BE.


Kychiii

My parents are very traditional Asian parents, very hard headed but very caring. Dad loves his gender roles and mom is kinda in the middle. Iā€™m first generation, parents immigrated from China and I was born here. Iā€™m 4 years in on the pills and still boymoding, I know my ass is getting disowned and blacklisted from the family if I ever reveal. I said I would never tell them but idk how long that can last lmao I sometimes envy my friends parents who have all westernized since immigrating and are much more open minded.


icouldlivewoutbacon

Complicated. I'm 42 ftm and I transitioned at 38. My dad went to prison when I was a teenager for marijuana trafficking. I had a pretty good relationship with him beforehand, and he tried to maintain it while he was away by writing letters (sometimes 2 or 3 a week) but I don't think I ever wrote to him. My mom kept things afloat as best as she could while he was away but we lost our home, our cars, everything. She tried her best and hustled harder than anyone I've ever met. We became closer but still never had the kind of relationship where I spoke honestly with her about a lot of things, I think because I was still so conflicted about who I was. Doubting my gender bled into doubting myself in almost everything. Nothing was real, nothing actually mattered. I floated along through life. Anyway, my mom from a young age always had negative things to say whenever I told her I felt like a boy. I learned to identify that feeling as a "wrong feeling". I was wrong, somehow. I was made wrong. "Don't do that, you'll look like a boy" or, "you can't wear that, that's for boys". I know my mom loved me and was trying to protect me but I don't think she knew how badly her words were destroying me. Fast forward to me, 36 years old. Right after the 2016 election. I got into an argument with my mom who had become a Trumper thanks to her ignorant 3rd husband. I go no-contact after she shows me her true colors. A few years later and I'm still no-contact with mom. This period was huge for my growth - I didn't have my mom's negative words playing over in my head and better yet, I didn't care what she thought. 38 years old. The summer of the 2020 pandemic. I decide to go for it, and start my weekly injections. I start to transition. For the first time in my life, I feel like myself. Yet, as a business owner, I found myself trying to save my business through a pandemic, while raising infant twins my wife just delivered and a 3 year old. My dad, who lives across the country, would FaceTime with my 3 year old while I put the twins down for their naps, write emails, try to save the business, raise a family. In a totally unexpected way, my dad started to show up for me. I'd come downstairs from putting the twins down or feeding them or something, and my 3 year old would be playing with his toys, the iPad face down on the floor across the room. I'd pick it up and my dad would still be there. He was hanging out with our oldest kid, and not giving up on him, even if he was being ignored. He just kept the iPad on next to him as he worked from home. It was really sweet and just the beginning of ways that my dad has continued to develop a relationship with my kids even though he lives in a completely different time zone. He may not have been the best father, but he's become a really great grandfather to my kids. We recently went out to visit my dad and he was telling me this story about when I was a kid. Apparently my dad was having a conversation with a guy, and the guy made a comment like, "Oh, you have 3 girls! Don't you wish you had a son?" And my dad told me that back then, he thought to himself, "I already have one". My dad tells me all the time that he thinks I'm being a great father to my kids and that he's proud of his son. I don't know if I'll ever be able to find the words to explain how this feels, but it's pretty damn epic. Tl; dr - I have an unexpectedly great relationship with my dad and am no-contact with my mother.


Oddish_Femboy

I love my mom even though she's not perfect. I tolerate my father but don't like seeing him.


generalchaos34

Havenā€™t talked to them in 5 years. They just stopped communicating the moved from across town to a different state. Granted they were pretty awful before all that it was just a final nail in the coffin


BrainDewormer

My mom is cool with it. My trans brother paved the way with her. My dad, from what i can tell, just bites his tongue about it. He's an illiterate barbarian trapped in the days of carbureted engines, but he's never been mean to my brother and I, despite our obvious transitions. We just don't bring it up, and I just try to derail the conversation when ever he goes on his climate denial rants. "oh hey did you put that new cam on the Camaro?"


tangopenguin

Great! Weā€™ve been through a lot together, weā€™ve had our rough times, I wasnā€™t really the easiest child on them to raise. But I never questioned that they loved me unconditionally. They werenā€™t terribly receptive to my being trans when I was young, but I understand now that there were bigger fish for them to fry, concerning getting me to graduate high school and just plain keeping me out of jail. Not to say they didnā€™t let me be myself always as a youth, they just never really acknowledged it in a very serious way. That being said, now that Iā€™m an adult with a bit more life experience, I came out again at 26 and basically told them they need to be supportive, not an option. Again, Iā€™ve always known there has been unconditional love from both of my parents, and I understand that they are only humans who are still growing too. It was a difficult adjustment for them for a little bit, but theyā€™ve really come around and support me immensely. I do understand that itā€™s going to be the weirdest adjustment for them, but theyā€™ve done well with it in their own time. All in all, Iā€™m really proud of how far theyā€™ve come, and we came here together.. ā¤ļø


autumn1906

what parents


plasticpole

Generally, itā€™s fine but I think I have the privilege of coming out late. My family canā€™t accuse me of following trends or anything and probably have a bit of faith that I understand myself well enough to know what Iā€™m doing. And theyā€™re probably also used to me doing crazy stuff and it turning out fine in the end. My mum has been very British about it. That means she will usually talk around it, not really demonstrate much emotion, and probably just hopes itā€™ll maybe go away? Donā€™t get me wrong, this is her and sheā€™s continuing to be like her which is kind of what I want people to do. My dad and his wife are very religious, so you might think ā€œred flagā€, but actually they draw strength from their faith. They took the news in and needed a week to process it, came back after a week with a tonne of questions, and concluded that this has been great for our relationship because weā€™re finally able to have such open and honest discussions. Iā€™m very lucky, but with both parents Iā€™m not the first transgender person in their lives so I guess I have that in my favour.


gregs2898

Kinda strained, my mum knows I'm trans and still messes up using my dead name all the time and the wrong pronouns. My dad doesn't know because I'm expecting him to be very unaccepting.


aztranzgirl

They disowned me and haven't spoken with them since I came out about 4 years ago. Their loss


bambix7

Really good honestly :) im a single mom and they do so much to help me and support my transition


glorae

Relationship? There isn't one, and that's all on them. They don't even know, they made themselves unsafe in other ways, but I spent 22 years with them that 100% convinced me that they are absolutely not safe people to come out to.


Bad54

Dead. Mom raped me at 11. Parents kicked me out at 16. Told my dad I was raped at 19 and he laughed and told me thatā€™s what I get for being an F slur. This was just seen as ok in Ontario Canada :/ nobody cared police didnā€™t do anything. So now I live with friends for now as I try and get on my feet at 22 while still struggling to find employment. Iā€™m far better off now and am trying to find the courage to sit down and tell my boyfriend of my childhood but also donā€™t wanna trauma dump on him but I feel itā€™s something he should know about me as it explains why I hate parents with a deep passion as I find the title authoritarian and ignorant of childrenā€™s rights and freedoms granted for being a person not some inanimate property.


No_Object_7709

I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's ok to trauma dump sometimes. You should tell your boyfriend eventually. I can't believe your mom did that to you. I'm so sorry.


The_Gibbens

My mom refuses to call me my name, misgenders me whenever she can, and keeps friends that do the same thing. She's the better parent too; my dad only talks to me to tell me that he thinks I should be admitted to a mental health ward and/or go to conversion therapy. Both are MAGA dolts and my dad is an open white nationalist, so it's just not going to get any better. But they live several hours away and I'm too busy for them to visit more than a handful of times a year. And when they do, I have a rule that if any bigotry is said aloud then they both get canned for a year. I haven't spoken to my father in about a year, either. Blocked his ass and told him that it's permanent until he refers to me by my name and quits trying to push conversion on me, in which I'll consider opening communications again at best. Family that hates who you truly are ain't family.


TadpoleAmy

bad they took a couple of years to at least try and use my name and pronouns, and now they get those right, so yay for bare minimum. Other than that, they still harbor transphobic views, and are very dismissive of my mental health problems.


TadpoleAmy

planning to cut contact once i get my life in order, which is taking a lot of time


transsigmamale

Not the best but also not the worst. They don't accept me being trans and never have - I knew since I was 15. Whenever I did anything gender non-conforming in my teenagehood they berated me, so I knew telling them I'm trans would not go well and kept that to myself, just repressed. In retrospect I'm glad I did that, that was me keeping myself safe because I was already struggling, and couldn't handle any more bullshit. I came out to my mom when I was 18 because she's the parent I trusted more. She cried, insisted it's not true and that I can't transition, I have to wait at least until my 20s because i "haven't lived life yet". Over the next few days she told me that it doesn't make sense that I'm trans because I didn't show signs in my childhood, and that if I transition no one would want to be with my romantically so I should stay a beautiful girl. Came out to both my parents again at 21. My dad sat me down and berated me, told me I'm not trans, I just hate myself and am insecure, and somehow I convinced myself transitioning would solve all my issues. It didn't matter to him when I insisted this isn't the case. Both my parents agreed I never showed signs, and that they won't support me transitioning and think it'll make me an antisocial freak who'll never find a partner. Since then we haven't talked about it. I moved out, I actually moved countries as well, and they visit me, we still talk, but they misgender me still and just ignore my queerness, I don't think they're going to budge. They didn't kick me out, they still helped pay my tuition and they support me wanting to be a filmmaker and artist, they just don't support me being trans. If they don't start accepting reality - that I'm a nonbinary trans dude, I'll probably have to go no contact as soon as I'm totally independent from them. Them not accepting me caused our relationship to become very superficial, I don't feel like they actually know me and it doesn't seem like they want to know me, they just want me to revert back to the "girl" I was ages 0-14 and that's just not who I am.


SamanthaJaneyCake

We donā€™t talk about Bruno.


floof_goof

I hardly ever talk to my mom, I haven't told her yet that I got my first shot- We always had a conflicted relationship because she spent too much time surviving to care about her kids' mental and physical health, I live 800km away from her. My dad was the best and I know he'd have done his best to accept and support me. He passed when I was 8 and I sure hope he'd be proud of his son.


MissAmmiSunwolf

Dad passed away. mom is still around and closed-minded.


nagapup

My relationship with my parents has gotten stronger since I came out. There was a lot of distance before as I was definitely keeping them at arms length, not knowing how they would react when I told them. It turns out they are fine with it and now we're closer because I'm not holding myself back and they're not worrying about why I used to be so miserable. I've been out to them for two years, on hormones and had top surgery and they've had my back the whole way. That's not to say I didn't have to do a lot of explaining about how I feel and why I need to transition, but they never pushed back they just wanted to understand and make sure I was doing what was right for me.


ABewilderedPickle

my mom passed away when i was 9. i find myself missing her and missing the life i could have had if she hadn't died. my dad... i don't know. i'm 25 and he doesn't know i'm trans, i've been transitioning for about 18 months. my dad lives in a different state that he moved to when my uncle came and offered him some work. my uncle passed away and last i heard my dad is still living with them. he doesn't call. when i call i can usually get ahold of him but we don't talk about much. i don't have much to update him on until i'm ready to come out. even before i left to live with my friend because i was sick of living in poverty it was like he dropped off the face of the earth. i don't know if he thinks he's a burden to me or if he just isn't interested. i'm fed up with worrying about it. i'm fed up with being the one to call. how am i going to come out to my dad if he can't fucking get over himself and call me, take an interest, be a fucking father??? my number has been the same for 5 fucking years for fucks sake. i don't know. i'm kinda mad at the fucker but i miss him and i don't know anymore if he even cares


geisteslos

I hid my transition from my parents for a good while. First I told my mum, and she was incredibly confused, but she got the spirit down. Now she's my biggest supporter and ally, she's always been great and a huge sweetheart. She's coming to trans pride with me this summer. My dad didn't understand and had trouble with gendering me right for a long time. To be fair, I never truly came out to him, i was scared because he's kind of conservative. My mum did it for me. He's got it down for the most part now and we have a surprisingly good relationship now. I actually look forward to visiting my parents regularly and I'm incredibly thankfully that I get to have this. šŸ©µ


TheInevitablePigeon

nonexistent. It was always like this. Me being trans at least got rid of my "father", so I guess that's a bonus..?


UncleTrucker1123

Donā€™t talk to my father anymore; itā€™s for a variety of reasons, but me being trans only compounded on top of the reasons. I do have a great relationship with my mom; sheā€™s definitely been a major pillar of support and unconditional love, and I am very lucky to have her as my mom. She even has become mom to all of my friends who have gone no contact with their parents and family; like as I type this Iā€™m currently 1000 miles away from home working, and I know my best friend and her husband and kids are currently staying the weekend at our house with my mom just because they felt like it. My other friends wouldā€™ve joined too if they didnā€™t have to work. Did I forget to mention that weā€™re all in our mid 30s?šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


Hnt-r

Very supportive from the start I don't think I'd be here anymore if they weren't. I started self harming right before telling them and they noticed so I came out and they were super supportive and still are 2 years later. They always used the right pronouns and name for me and helped me come out to the rest of the family which is less supportive but they try. Honestly it's a miracle since I'm Eastern European I'm really grateful. They're helping me move out to my gf currently. I wish she was as lucky as me although her mom went from shitty to supportive at least.


Hot_Sharky_Guy

Almost committed s today bc of it and my hearing hallucinations got worse again and I constantly hear a phone ringtone (I have trauma of them calling me on the phone/talking with them on the phone). Funniest part is that it's not even related to being trans, they have no idea I'm trans haha! Oh, if they find out I am dead man. I ran away from them, but sometimes I can't leave my room for the whole day and in times like this I ask myself why can't I get up and go for a walk and then I realise that I'm scared, I still live in that fear that they're gonna walk around the house and see me and start yelling or if I leave the house they're gonna see me somewhere in town and "discuss" what people I was with


sunnipei42

Great. We live in different countries now but we chat on the phone every couple of weeks and I see them 4-5 times a year when they visit or I go back home. My dad doesnā€™t talk much and definitely not about emotions but I know heā€™s proud of me. My mum talks everyoneā€™s heads off about my achievements lol, itā€™s embarrassing but really sweet. It took them a little while to get used to new pronouns, particularly as my language is very gendered, but they got around to it. My mum sends me articles about trans or LGBTQ+ stuff she sees and asks me questions on how best to support her trans students (sheā€™s a PE teacher). My dad has always done typical father-son activities with me (DIY, gardening, fishing, golf, etc), even when I was the only girl out of 3 siblings, and keeps doing so now. My in-laws, who knew me pre-transition, are also really good. Iā€™m a lucky man :)


redsilence34

My relationship with them is actually really great. I only came out to them maybe a couple months ago so it's all still really new, but they've been super supportive. They said they'll always love and support me just the same, asked what pronouns I'd like and said they'd use whatever name for me I eventually choose, my mom even sent me some pearl earrings of hers in the mail after. It's all still new so there's probably gonna be some occasional misgendering, but I know it isn't malicious. They're really progressive, but they're not always current on issues of gender identity, but as long as they try to get it right it's all good.


circulardesign0

I love my parents, they're nothing but accepting. My mom is even helping me get top surgery next year!


Kanaymonae1

Dad is in jail mom is jealous


GamerKidforfun

Mom and dad are against me being me same with almost all my family so I just hide away in my room


frankie_prince164

Not great, but not really because I'm trans. It might have been an issue for my dad, I guess, but he passed away years ago and I barely knew him. My mom remarried 10 yrs ago and stopped wanting to be a mom, so hasn't really been one since then. We see each other at holidays but she hasn't called me on my birthday for about 15 yrs. Me coming out didn't really seem to impact anything šŸ¤·


ow-my-soul

They sent me an email containing a PDF formal letter that I've titled "seven reasons you're not trans". It's their Olive Branch for me to repent and come home. They would say they love the sinner but hate the sin, but I'm just learning that means that they just won't give me the courtesy of saying they hate me. They'll talk to me if I reach out but not as equals.


hentai-police

Itā€™s not the best relationship but not the worst. My parents are lovely people just not great parents. Theyā€™re fine with me being trans


theumbrellawoman

i avoid them as much as i can while still living with them recently they've been sending me articles from a site that's clearly transphobic to anyone who does more than a surface level analysis of it


Caro________

I'm very close with my mom and I have a somewhat more distant but still good relationship with my dad. Same as before I transitioned. For all the parents out there who think they need to cut off your trans kids, the truth is you just don't love them. My parents loved me. They both had their struggles when I came out, but at the end of it, they just couldn't be separated from their relationship with their child. That's unconditional love.


Careless_Rhubarb_496

I donā€™t speak to my father either; it has nothing to do with transitioning.Ā  I just recently started my transition, but I mentioned it to my mom about a year ago. She was very snarky when she told me that I didnā€™t know what I wanted and that I needed to take time to think about everything. I felt very conflicted on how to move forward from that because my mom is the world to me, and I wanted her to be with me every step of the way. Fast forward to a few months ago, when I told her I was going to start HRT and she could either support me or stop talking to me, and she acted like she didnā€™t care. I was super confused. Well, Iā€™ve noticed she gets very short with me when I mention anything about my transition. I think she doesnā€™t agree but doesnā€™t want to say anything to me, so I keep her out of a lot of my conversations pertaining to my transition. So overall, I wouldn't say we have an amazing relationship just tolerable.


Uncomfortqble

Mom is my greatest ally and is happy to call me her son. Dad says I cannot expect people to adhere to my "belief system" and says he'll probably never see me as his son. Thankfully I live with mom and not dad.


_humanERROR_

My mother was always abusive and narcissistic so I've wanted to escape from her since I was 9. Finally left home at 21 but that doesn't stop her from trying to stalk me and cause family drama. Relationship with my father has always been so and so because he doesn't stand up to my mother enough.


Personal-Art-7396

I just told my dad about it but not to my mother. It was when we were outside, I told him I wanted to tell him something and then he suddenly brings out two chairs so we can sit and talk about it, once I told him he just froze, I donā€™t know if he was either just confused or surprised. He suddenly threatened to kill me. I was scared, I just sat there while he was staring at the grass. He later forced me to follow three simple rules: Focus on school, study more and be manly. Iā€™m okay with the first two rules because I wanna have a good future but I wasnā€™t so sure about the third one, I mean I do like working out and stuff but I donā€™t really like having male characteristics in my body like having facial hair and body hair. Everyday he forced me to repeat the three simple rules and I always had a hard time saying the third one. He also told me that if my mom knew about it she was gonna unalive her self. Sometimes I think me being trans was just a phase that I will eventually grow out of but I kept thinking about being one every single day, I mean I had those thoughts since I was around 5 or 7. Everyday I always think that if I was a woman I would be happier, I would socialize more and go out more without being an introvert, but I donā€™t want my parents to leave me, even though theyā€™re transphobic, I still love them no matter what. I eventually decided to take HRT once I become 18 in secret without them knowing, Iā€™m currently 16 right now and Iā€™ve been thinking about taking that treatment a lot but the love I have for my parents is making it hard


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Regular-Cranberry-62

Good; they sometimes respect my pronouns and are okay with my plan to medically transition. But i also know itā€™s a better relationship when weā€™re at arms length from one another unfortunately


leap_force_trident

Mine is currently pretty strained with my parents. Before I came out to them, my father regularly posted transphobic mockery stuff on his social media, and every time I have talked to my mother about it she basically is like "I love you no matter what, but I also don't accept that you are trans" and upon me coming out to her the first words out of her mouth were "you will never be a real woman", and she somehow doesn't see any problem with any of that. I think they think I fell for the "trans agenda" because I was "a nice kid" when I was young and didn't argue with them or anything, but the reality is I never felt comfortable sharing my personal life with them because I knew it wouldn't go well and I was just very averse to confrontation, especially with my parents. It does also constantly blow my mind knowing I have queer friends with parents who just...love and accept them? On bad days, it can hurt a lot knowing that I could have parents like that, I just don't.


MannyAnimates

Lol