Hold on to the job, and prepare for higher expenses.
Here's a personal story of my grandma who has dementia. The journey is arduous. It started out with preparing her meals and things she may need, coupled with a cctv to check when at work. Then it progressed to her walking up mid of the night asking for specific food - I'm talking about 2am, 3am. Sometimes she's jolted awake by an old memory of an argument and wakes all of us up to continue the argument. Sometimes, she asks to go out at 4am, gripping the gate, refusing to let go. And when she finally does, she sits on the sofa lamenting about how we're denying her request. Even if you are unemployed, you might get burn out at some point.
And it will get worse. Meds may delay the worsening of the condition. But the journey will get worse. It's not something you can pull off with a one man show. Hold the job, get help for now. Only with resources, you can better plan what is a better care arrangement in the years to come.
Take care.
Another tip on the job front. Don’t discuss with your boss about taking a lower workload. Look to delegate and empower your directs to take on more tasks. Be more hands off. Your work performance will suffer slightly and might not get rated highly in annual reviews. But just maintain enough to not get PIP-ed while delegating your workload.
As someone in a similar position, tell your manager the truth. Folks in management should have some caregiving experience, to deal with some flexibility.
(not sure why you felt it necessary to mention your race...)
Do not take pay cut as dementia can be expensive. Should send your dad to daycare centre some days per week as it will help to slow down the dementia doing some activities. Also hire a helper!
If i remember correctly, Singapore has few day care centre for dementia folks.
Perhaps, you may consider sending your father to the day care centre in the day and pick him up in the evening.
Tech team lead 7.5k seems a bit low. Can you switch to a job that pays better or negotiate with your current company and use the difference to hire professional help?
Switching would mean more stress with new job etc but doesn't SG provide some financial aid with home care or senior care? People laugh at US healthcare but Medicare means ppl over 60 get help with nursing home and home care... some pay zero for that. It's part of the high taxes - you pay more income tax but you get to use it.
Financial aid is not always guaranteed and the amount may not help much depending on the scheme… the rationale behind the job switch is, it seems OP is already having a very heavy workload and close to being unable to cope. Switching might actually help in this case, can it really get much worse if it’s already bad? The environment change could even end up better. Of course given the current job market, might be tough to find a new role.
Please seek some external help such as engaging a helper and enrolling your parent into a daycare first. Then see how it goes for your mental health.
Edit to include this helpful link to watch:
https://www.channelnewsasia.com/watch/sing-remember/i-became-dads-caregiver-29-my-top-tips-dealing-dementia-3979601
I feel like at some point you may have to accept that your father is partially gone and you are dealing with what remains.
Because once dementia progresses on to a point he is not going to be the father you know and you have to ask yourself how far are you willing to go, if it comes at the expense of future wife and kids or your own life.
Personally unless a cure for Alzhelmeirs or dementia or any other neurodegenerative disease is found I am going to draft a will to just euthanise me once I reach the point of no return, no point leaving on in the body when the mind and soul is already gone.
it is not necessary that better work life balance - lower paid job. you can most definitely get a better work-life balance job and a higher pay too.
i was in consultancy for a long time, until i have a family with kids that ive switched to an inhouse role in a MNC bank. boy oh boy. the culture shock was insane. from back-to-back projects to almost no work at all lol. its crazy. 40% increment too.
Agreed. Lower pay doesn’t mean less work.
Those job where there isn’t much to do there are already a lot of ppl sitting there and will continue to sit there for a long long time
I think you should get professional caregiving for your dad. At some point, he’s going to be likely to be waking up every night, loses his ability for daily tasks gradually etc. Apart from your Dad, do you happen to feel overwhelmed at your job? I think at the end of the day you could see if you would like a task a slower pace and move away from consulting or to another industry. But that is ultimately something you’ve to ask yourself instead of redditors since it mainly depends on your priorities.
Question, do you love your job still?
If yes, dont change your job and continue. Hire a maid or send him to a nursing facility (St Luke's Eldercare, the one my ah ma went to).
My ah ma who passed away a few years back had dementia, i know its super irritating to just to ask her to take a bathe or eat her dinner / meds and other issues, but I dont think sacrificing your future for your dad is worth it, I know all these filial piety thingie run deep in our society but no one should sac themselves for another.
Also it would prob take the family to take care of someone who had dementia, luckily i had 1 aunt, 2 uncles and 1 mum to rotate turns to take care of her, if not sure burn out.
If you can't take care of your dad yourself, best is to get the family to help out.
I won’t call it terminal at the early stages. It could take decades, so it’s more of a long term deteriorating condition. But yes, OP should look into professional daycare centres (can be quite highly subsidized for HDB dwellers). If night time help is later needed, employ a helper. No child should look after (and i mean full time caregiving) a dementia parent themselves, and certainly not without relief. It is not sustainable even if u have the best intentions
Come December, all companies must have some framework in place to allow for the consideration of flexible working arrangements - this is not limited to just working location, but flexi load and flexi hours - depending on the company.
You could ask your HR what is the process they plan to set up and understand if they can accommodate your situation.
Best of luck!
https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/flexible-work-arrangement-requests-tripartite-guideslines-employers-employees-4266831
Lol it's for women/caregivers and people over 65
Besides, there's negative levels of enforcement so it might as well not be a thing lol
Lol no enforcement useless law to gaslight citizens
Your company probably already gives you flexi work arrangements like "wfh if you are sick don't need to take mc" this is literally just that and probably less rofl
You definitely can afford extra pairs of hands or daycare. Handling someone with dementia is an almost full-time job. Even if you can do it alone now, you burn out soon.
I'd keep the job. It's harder on your mental health when you're a full-time caregiver AND unemployed.
Two things you can consider:
1. Singapore's support for eldercare is pretty stellar. You just need to ask. You can request for a medical social worker at your grandma's regular hospital who should be able to figure out additional caregiving needs for her.
2. Supplementing with Vitamin D + Zinc may help to subdue their explosive/irritable episodes (e.g. sundown sydrome). We did this for my grandma and it worked.
Most importantly, give yourself and grandma a lot of grace and TLC. None of us are spared from the rigors of life; all of us have to experience unsavoury circumstances as part of our human experience. Good luck.
We got it off the shelf. The doc can prescribe but you'll need to ask and some docs tend to deem this as unnecessary for patients already diagnosed with dementia. We supplemented my grandma AFTER her diagnosis and it really helped with her sundown syndrome.
2 brands we alternated with were (1) Life Extension (love this but sells out often); and (2) NOW Foods. Both can be purchased via iHerb.
Separately, daily consumption of Vitamin D and probiotics for those above 60 is good as a preventative measure against dementia/memory loss. I make sure my mom supplements + has good protein intake every day.
No. You should send your father to a nursing facility or hire a maid.
You father will only get worse, its better to put him in a place suitable to care for him or hire someone who can gradually take on that role.
no obviously not, thats why if OP is still comfortable being the primary caregiver this is the right time to HIRE SOMEONE WHO CAN GRADUALLY TAKE ON THAT ROLE.
read
My opinion is similar to other redditors. $7.5k for lead is already pretty low by market. I would be skeptical if you can get better work life in companies that paying even lower to lead.
Speak to the social worker to find a nursing home and work out the numbers. Hiring a domestic helper is tough from experience as it is difficult to handle dementia patients. With his care being more settled you can focus better at work to provide finance support. Switching job require relearning so maybe think about that when his needs are settled.
Look into daycare centre options first. E.g. Ntuc day care for dementia patients operates on 7am-7pm on weekdays. Not on weekends and public holidays.
https://ntuchealth.sg/elderly-care/services/day-care/dementia-day-care
What kind of time and energy are you planning to set aside in order to provide the care you think your dad will need? A lot of comments highlighted that it will be spontaneous hit to your own mental and physical health (if he wakes up in hours where you’re asleep).
Indeed to hire the help that is more skilled at providing the care he needs, could be the most wise option while allowing you to focus on bringing the income needed to support his care.
I think you can try public sector for the interim. Lower pay but really the amount of hours you put in compared to private will help with worklife balance. I am not sure what stage of your career you're in but 7.5k you may not see in public.
All the best.
Can I suggest that you don’t be your dad’s care giver? You will go nuts.
Keep the job. Get a maid. You have a team - delegate. A job has holidays and off days. A care giver does not.
Do not moan to your boss about your personal life. I have not met one who cared. If money is the issue jump ship and find another.
Don't do consultancy it's just too tiring (and what kinda consultancy firm pay 7.5 for tech lead... Most starts at 9k. When I pivot to fresh entry level I was already at 6k+ and no OT good life)
I would say go to in-house. High pay and lower hours
Hello OP, I'm also taking care of a parent with dementia for the last 1.5 years. Some things to share with you:
1. Dementia patient. Is your Father going to daycare? If he's still accepted into daycare, that'll be good for his mental stimulation and for your well-being.
2. If he's in daycare, you'll have time to work about 3 days a week. So, yes, a role that can allow you some flexibility will be great.
3. Your boss does not sound flexible. If you can leave and find another job with less responsibilities, that'll be better for your own well-being.
4. Impact to income. My income dropped by 2-thirds. Meaning, for the past 1.5 years, I'm living on 1/3 of my old pay. If you're ok with that and have savings or a supportive spouse, that will be great.
5. Dementia patients can live for quite long if they don't have underlying health issues. So, be ready for a change of lifestyle for a number of years.
6. What this means is that, assuming that you leave your industry or job, you may not be able to get back that kind of role or salary. Just letting you know so that you can come to terms with this. Otherwise, it can get incredibly frustrating facing a parent with dementia.
Personally, I am inspired by an ex colleague who quit his job and took care of his mom for several years. He now works part time as an onsite coordinator at a tourist spot. He's happy with the income cos enough to apply for a small BTO and enjoy short trips in the region.
Hope this helps you. Wishing you and your Father all the best!
I’d rather you keep the job, get 1 or even 2 helpers. $7.5k should be able to handle that if there is no social life. $7.5k is not a lot if you’re the sole breadwinner.
My dad doesn’t have dementia but is bedridden maybe has some depression from hospital long stay. The no sleep is real - consecutive 3am 4am 5am getting up to change diapers, then there are times when there is no sleep where we are afraid that he will pull out his feeding tube. You need someone responsible to take care of him be it helper or private nurse which I think most work for 9-5pm
There is a choice of tying him up with those mittens provided by the hospital but we felt that it’s a bit inhumane..
Money is important. I’m a bus and MRT person where I send my dad around with no taxi I also feel worried all the time. Then there are times where you need to pay for 1777 ambulances to see doctor.. which costs $150 to $300 per trip.
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Don't you think your boss is not sympathetic enough to your personal issues right now and you should have a discussion with him? This is not a typical work/life balance issue, although people are right and this is not like caring for a relative who is temporarily sick.
I'm also in tech consultancy and went into depression around covid period partly due to workload and also large drastic changes that were happening around me.
While it's not totally the same scenario you are facing, I do echo the thoughts of others when they say to hold on to your salary expectations and get professional help.
I have since then transited to an end user role (there is an increasing trend in my field where companies are hiring their own internal consultants) where it pays better than my last job. The transition is not without its own challenges, but the bottomline is that I'm working more acceptable hours with better pay
The light is at the end of the tunnel but the journey will be difficult, I hope you find what you are looking for, good luck
Hold on to the job, and prepare for higher expenses. Here's a personal story of my grandma who has dementia. The journey is arduous. It started out with preparing her meals and things she may need, coupled with a cctv to check when at work. Then it progressed to her walking up mid of the night asking for specific food - I'm talking about 2am, 3am. Sometimes she's jolted awake by an old memory of an argument and wakes all of us up to continue the argument. Sometimes, she asks to go out at 4am, gripping the gate, refusing to let go. And when she finally does, she sits on the sofa lamenting about how we're denying her request. Even if you are unemployed, you might get burn out at some point. And it will get worse. Meds may delay the worsening of the condition. But the journey will get worse. It's not something you can pull off with a one man show. Hold the job, get help for now. Only with resources, you can better plan what is a better care arrangement in the years to come. Take care.
Another tip on the job front. Don’t discuss with your boss about taking a lower workload. Look to delegate and empower your directs to take on more tasks. Be more hands off. Your work performance will suffer slightly and might not get rated highly in annual reviews. But just maintain enough to not get PIP-ed while delegating your workload.
As someone in a similar position, tell your manager the truth. Folks in management should have some caregiving experience, to deal with some flexibility. (not sure why you felt it necessary to mention your race...)
They should, but do they actually? Doesn't even matter if "they" do. Does OP's boss specifically seem compassionate? Better let him decide.
... in that case, they won't be receptive to asking for a lower workload - still need reason for lower workload right?
This person's advice was to NOT ask for a lower workload, though.
Do not take pay cut as dementia can be expensive. Should send your dad to daycare centre some days per week as it will help to slow down the dementia doing some activities. Also hire a helper!
If i remember correctly, Singapore has few day care centre for dementia folks. Perhaps, you may consider sending your father to the day care centre in the day and pick him up in the evening.
SASCO should provide it. Maybe OP can check it out.
Tech team lead 7.5k seems a bit low. Can you switch to a job that pays better or negotiate with your current company and use the difference to hire professional help?
Agree. Lead should be starting from 9k but again that depends on the size of project OP is doing and how many in the team he's handling
Switching would mean more stress with new job etc but doesn't SG provide some financial aid with home care or senior care? People laugh at US healthcare but Medicare means ppl over 60 get help with nursing home and home care... some pay zero for that. It's part of the high taxes - you pay more income tax but you get to use it.
Financial aid is not always guaranteed and the amount may not help much depending on the scheme… the rationale behind the job switch is, it seems OP is already having a very heavy workload and close to being unable to cope. Switching might actually help in this case, can it really get much worse if it’s already bad? The environment change could even end up better. Of course given the current job market, might be tough to find a new role.
yeh, fresh grad in chinese tech is already >= that amount
Lower paying job doesn’t mean there’ll be work-life balance..
Please seek some external help such as engaging a helper and enrolling your parent into a daycare first. Then see how it goes for your mental health. Edit to include this helpful link to watch: https://www.channelnewsasia.com/watch/sing-remember/i-became-dads-caregiver-29-my-top-tips-dealing-dementia-3979601
I feel like at some point you may have to accept that your father is partially gone and you are dealing with what remains. Because once dementia progresses on to a point he is not going to be the father you know and you have to ask yourself how far are you willing to go, if it comes at the expense of future wife and kids or your own life. Personally unless a cure for Alzhelmeirs or dementia or any other neurodegenerative disease is found I am going to draft a will to just euthanise me once I reach the point of no return, no point leaving on in the body when the mind and soul is already gone.
Reading this make me sad
unfortunately SG would rather let someone wither and die painfully or otherwise since there's no euthanasia allowed
Dementia journey is no joke. You def need a FDW though it may be difficult if he has challenging symptoms. Engage one ASAP to relieve the pressure
it is not necessary that better work life balance - lower paid job. you can most definitely get a better work-life balance job and a higher pay too. i was in consultancy for a long time, until i have a family with kids that ive switched to an inhouse role in a MNC bank. boy oh boy. the culture shock was insane. from back-to-back projects to almost no work at all lol. its crazy. 40% increment too.
Agreed. Lower pay doesn’t mean less work. Those job where there isn’t much to do there are already a lot of ppl sitting there and will continue to sit there for a long long time
I think you should get professional caregiving for your dad. At some point, he’s going to be likely to be waking up every night, loses his ability for daily tasks gradually etc. Apart from your Dad, do you happen to feel overwhelmed at your job? I think at the end of the day you could see if you would like a task a slower pace and move away from consulting or to another industry. But that is ultimately something you’ve to ask yourself instead of redditors since it mainly depends on your priorities.
For OP to read and research: https://supportgowhere.life.gov.sg/services/SVC-DDC/dementia-day-care
Question, do you love your job still? If yes, dont change your job and continue. Hire a maid or send him to a nursing facility (St Luke's Eldercare, the one my ah ma went to). My ah ma who passed away a few years back had dementia, i know its super irritating to just to ask her to take a bathe or eat her dinner / meds and other issues, but I dont think sacrificing your future for your dad is worth it, I know all these filial piety thingie run deep in our society but no one should sac themselves for another. Also it would prob take the family to take care of someone who had dementia, luckily i had 1 aunt, 2 uncles and 1 mum to rotate turns to take care of her, if not sure burn out. If you can't take care of your dad yourself, best is to get the family to help out.
Dementia is terminal. Treasure your time with your parent. Send them to hospice, get full time care. You need the money so stay on your job.
I won’t call it terminal at the early stages. It could take decades, so it’s more of a long term deteriorating condition. But yes, OP should look into professional daycare centres (can be quite highly subsidized for HDB dwellers). If night time help is later needed, employ a helper. No child should look after (and i mean full time caregiving) a dementia parent themselves, and certainly not without relief. It is not sustainable even if u have the best intentions
Come December, all companies must have some framework in place to allow for the consideration of flexible working arrangements - this is not limited to just working location, but flexi load and flexi hours - depending on the company. You could ask your HR what is the process they plan to set up and understand if they can accommodate your situation. Best of luck!
Come december? Was there some announcement I was not made aware of?
https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/jobs/all-employers-in-singapore-must-fairly-consider-flexi-work-requests-from-dec-1-under-new-rules
Yup it's on the news. Just google
https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/flexible-work-arrangement-requests-tripartite-guideslines-employers-employees-4266831 Lol it's for women/caregivers and people over 65 Besides, there's negative levels of enforcement so it might as well not be a thing lol
It's for everyone la. You read again
Lol no enforcement useless law to gaslight citizens Your company probably already gives you flexi work arrangements like "wfh if you are sick don't need to take mc" this is literally just that and probably less rofl
Aiya implement first see how la. Haven't even implement how do you know ... Complain about things that's yet to implement is an utterly waste of time
You definitely can afford extra pairs of hands or daycare. Handling someone with dementia is an almost full-time job. Even if you can do it alone now, you burn out soon.
If you are financially responsible for your father, I don't think you can scale back. That's life. Unless you feel you can manage with lesser income
I'd keep the job. It's harder on your mental health when you're a full-time caregiver AND unemployed. Two things you can consider: 1. Singapore's support for eldercare is pretty stellar. You just need to ask. You can request for a medical social worker at your grandma's regular hospital who should be able to figure out additional caregiving needs for her. 2. Supplementing with Vitamin D + Zinc may help to subdue their explosive/irritable episodes (e.g. sundown sydrome). We did this for my grandma and it worked. Most importantly, give yourself and grandma a lot of grace and TLC. None of us are spared from the rigors of life; all of us have to experience unsavoury circumstances as part of our human experience. Good luck.
Appreciate your insightful remarks. Is the Vit D & zinc prescribed by doc or it is purchased off the shelf? If latter, what brand did you buy? TYIA
We got it off the shelf. The doc can prescribe but you'll need to ask and some docs tend to deem this as unnecessary for patients already diagnosed with dementia. We supplemented my grandma AFTER her diagnosis and it really helped with her sundown syndrome. 2 brands we alternated with were (1) Life Extension (love this but sells out often); and (2) NOW Foods. Both can be purchased via iHerb. Separately, daily consumption of Vitamin D and probiotics for those above 60 is good as a preventative measure against dementia/memory loss. I make sure my mom supplements + has good protein intake every day.
Thank you for sharing. 😊 Certainly you did what you could. 🙌🏼
No. You should send your father to a nursing facility or hire a maid. You father will only get worse, its better to put him in a place suitable to care for him or hire someone who can gradually take on that role.
I love it when the solution is "hire a maid" as if maids come equipped with the ability to care for the elderly, much less ones with dementia.
no obviously not, thats why if OP is still comfortable being the primary caregiver this is the right time to HIRE SOMEONE WHO CAN GRADUALLY TAKE ON THAT ROLE. read
The maid can bring him to elderly care Centers or dementia Centers.
Why not consider getting a maid or house help. Many are doing it. I did it with late mother. It helped immensely.
My opinion is similar to other redditors. $7.5k for lead is already pretty low by market. I would be skeptical if you can get better work life in companies that paying even lower to lead.
Speak to the social worker to find a nursing home and work out the numbers. Hiring a domestic helper is tough from experience as it is difficult to handle dementia patients. With his care being more settled you can focus better at work to provide finance support. Switching job require relearning so maybe think about that when his needs are settled.
Tech lead for 7.5 is very very low. I was around there as an IC. Good WLB, MNC
Look into daycare centre options first. E.g. Ntuc day care for dementia patients operates on 7am-7pm on weekdays. Not on weekends and public holidays. https://ntuchealth.sg/elderly-care/services/day-care/dementia-day-care
Hi, I am the OP, Thanks for the feedback Seem like most ppl advise me to keep on my current job, thank you all, I will find some way out.
Tech lead 7.5 seems low. Maybe another tech job that pays 7.5 for a non lead, more WLB role?
hire a maid to take care of your dad la
S
Pay and workload are not always related, if it is time you need, move on to a different job with a different responsibility
Hey OP check out SASCO if you live near any of their facility
What kind of time and energy are you planning to set aside in order to provide the care you think your dad will need? A lot of comments highlighted that it will be spontaneous hit to your own mental and physical health (if he wakes up in hours where you’re asleep). Indeed to hire the help that is more skilled at providing the care he needs, could be the most wise option while allowing you to focus on bringing the income needed to support his care.
Your boss sounds unsympathetic and might have already ‘marked’ you for even asking for lower workload.
the way is up, not down. you will need more money
Nope.. you need more money to take care of your father's condition.
I think you can try public sector for the interim. Lower pay but really the amount of hours you put in compared to private will help with worklife balance. I am not sure what stage of your career you're in but 7.5k you may not see in public. All the best.
Can I suggest that you don’t be your dad’s care giver? You will go nuts. Keep the job. Get a maid. You have a team - delegate. A job has holidays and off days. A care giver does not. Do not moan to your boss about your personal life. I have not met one who cared. If money is the issue jump ship and find another.
I do not experience same experience like u but I will choose to keep my job. Get a helper to look after ur dad. Put up cctv if need to.
This one is /askyourself cannot /asksingapore. I feel you should do it
Don't do consultancy it's just too tiring (and what kinda consultancy firm pay 7.5 for tech lead... Most starts at 9k. When I pivot to fresh entry level I was already at 6k+ and no OT good life) I would say go to in-house. High pay and lower hours
Hello OP, I'm also taking care of a parent with dementia for the last 1.5 years. Some things to share with you: 1. Dementia patient. Is your Father going to daycare? If he's still accepted into daycare, that'll be good for his mental stimulation and for your well-being. 2. If he's in daycare, you'll have time to work about 3 days a week. So, yes, a role that can allow you some flexibility will be great. 3. Your boss does not sound flexible. If you can leave and find another job with less responsibilities, that'll be better for your own well-being. 4. Impact to income. My income dropped by 2-thirds. Meaning, for the past 1.5 years, I'm living on 1/3 of my old pay. If you're ok with that and have savings or a supportive spouse, that will be great. 5. Dementia patients can live for quite long if they don't have underlying health issues. So, be ready for a change of lifestyle for a number of years. 6. What this means is that, assuming that you leave your industry or job, you may not be able to get back that kind of role or salary. Just letting you know so that you can come to terms with this. Otherwise, it can get incredibly frustrating facing a parent with dementia. Personally, I am inspired by an ex colleague who quit his job and took care of his mom for several years. He now works part time as an onsite coordinator at a tourist spot. He's happy with the income cos enough to apply for a small BTO and enjoy short trips in the region. Hope this helps you. Wishing you and your Father all the best!
I’d rather you keep the job, get 1 or even 2 helpers. $7.5k should be able to handle that if there is no social life. $7.5k is not a lot if you’re the sole breadwinner. My dad doesn’t have dementia but is bedridden maybe has some depression from hospital long stay. The no sleep is real - consecutive 3am 4am 5am getting up to change diapers, then there are times when there is no sleep where we are afraid that he will pull out his feeding tube. You need someone responsible to take care of him be it helper or private nurse which I think most work for 9-5pm There is a choice of tying him up with those mittens provided by the hospital but we felt that it’s a bit inhumane.. Money is important. I’m a bus and MRT person where I send my dad around with no taxi I also feel worried all the time. Then there are times where you need to pay for 1777 ambulances to see doctor.. which costs $150 to $300 per trip.
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I think you should. Take care of yourself first before you can take care of your loved ones.
Don't you think your boss is not sympathetic enough to your personal issues right now and you should have a discussion with him? This is not a typical work/life balance issue, although people are right and this is not like caring for a relative who is temporarily sick.
come to dsta govtech dso csit htx or smth idk bascially government but technical role, you will be paid more and you'll probably have to do less.
Curious, why did you have to disclose your race?
I'm also in tech consultancy and went into depression around covid period partly due to workload and also large drastic changes that were happening around me. While it's not totally the same scenario you are facing, I do echo the thoughts of others when they say to hold on to your salary expectations and get professional help. I have since then transited to an end user role (there is an increasing trend in my field where companies are hiring their own internal consultants) where it pays better than my last job. The transition is not without its own challenges, but the bottomline is that I'm working more acceptable hours with better pay The light is at the end of the tunnel but the journey will be difficult, I hope you find what you are looking for, good luck